Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass - AudioBook

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Douglass to address the convention he came forward to the platform with a hesitancy and embarrassment necessarily the attendance of a sensitive mind in such a novel position after apologising for his ignorance and reminding the audience that slavery was a poor school for the human intellect and heart he proceeded to narrate some of the facts in his own history as a slave and in the course of his speech gave utterance to many noble thoughts and thrilling reflections as soon as he had taken his seat filled with hope and admiration I arose and declared that Patrick Henry of revolutionary fame never made a speech more eloquent in the cause of Liberty than the one we had just listened to from the lips of that hunted fugitive so I believed at that time such as my belief now I reminded the audience of the peril which surrounded this self emancipated young man at the North even in Massachusetts on the soil of the Pilgrim Fathers among the descendants of revolutionary sires and I appealed to them whether they would ever allow him to be carried back into slavery law or no law Constitution or no Constitution the response was unanimous and in Thunder tones no will you succor and protect him as a brother man a resident of the Old Bay States yes shouted the whole mass with an energy so startling that the ruthless tyrant south of Mason and Dickson's line my almost have heard the mighty bursts of feeling and recognized it as the pledge of an invincible determination on the part of those who gave it never to betray him that wanders but to hide the outcast and firmly to oh by the consequences it was at once deeply impressed upon my mind that if mr. Douglas could be persuaded to consecrate his time and talents to the promotion of the anti-slavery enterprise a powerful impetus would be given to it and a stunning blow at the same time inflicted on northern prejudice against a colored complexion I therefore endeavoured to instill hope and courage into his mind in order that he might dare to engage in a vocation so anomalous and responsible for a person in his situation and I was seconded in this effort by warm-hearted friends especially by the late general agent of the Massachusetts anti-slavery society mr. John a Collins whose judgment in this instance entirely coincided with my own at first he could give no encouragement with unfeigned diffidence he expressed his conviction that he was not adequate to the performance of so great a task the path marked out was holy and untrodden one he was sincerely apprehensive that he should do more harm than good after much deliberation however he consented to make a trial and ever since that period he has acted as a lecturing agent under the auspices either of the American or the Massachusetts anti-slavery society in labors he has been most abundant and his success in combating prejudice in gaining proselytes in agitating the public mind has far surpassed the most sanguine expectations that were raised at the commencement of his brilliant career he has borne himself with gentleness and meekness yet with true manliness of character as a public speaker he exceeds in pathos wit comparison imitation strength of reasoning and fluency of language there is in him that union of head and heart which is indispensable to an enlightenment of the heads and a winning of the hearts of others may his strength continue to be equal to his day may he continue to grow in grace and in the knowledge of God that he may be increasingly serviceable in the cause of bleeding humanity whether at home or abroad it is certainly a very remarkable fact that one of the most efficient advocates of the slave population now before the public is a fugitive slave in the person of Frederick Douglass and that the free Colored population of the United States are as a bleary presented by one of their own number in the person of Charles Lennox ramond whose eloquent appeals have exhorted the highest applause of multitudes on both sides of the Atlantic let the calumny aters of the colored race despised themselves for their baseness and illiberal tea of spirit and henceforth cease to talk of the natural inferiority of those who require nothing but time and opportunity to attain to the highest point of human excellence it may perhaps be fairly questioned whether any other portion of the population of the earth could have endured the privations sufferings and horrors of slavery without having become more degraded in the scale of humanity than the slaves of African descent nothing has been left undone to [ __ ] their intellects darken their minds to base their moral nature obliterate all traces of their relationship to mankind and yet how wonderfully they have sustained the mighty load of a most frightful bondage under which they have been groaning for centuries to illustrate the effect of slavery on the white man to show that he has no powers of endurance in such a condition superior to those of his black brother daniel o'connell the distinguished advocate of universal emancipation and the mightiest champion of prostrate but not conquered Ireland relates the following anecdote in a speech delivered by him in the conciliation hall Dublin before the loyal national repeal Association March 31st 1845 no matter said mr. O'Connell under what spacious terms it may disguise itself slavery is still hideous it has a natural and inevitable tendency to brutalize every noble Faculty of men an American sailor who was cast away on the shore of Africa where he was kept in slavery for three years was at the expiration of that period found to be embroided and stultified he had lost all reasoning power and having forgotten his native language could only utter some savage gibberish between Arabic and English which no but he could understand and which even he himself found difficulty in pronouncing so much for the humanizing influence of the domestic institution admitting this to have been an extraordinary case of mental deterioration it proves at least that the white slave can sink as low in the scale of humanity as the black one mr. Douglass has very properly chosen to write his own narrative in his own style and according to the best of his ability rather than to employ someone else it is therefore entirely his own production and considering how long and dark was the career he had to run as a slave how few have been his opportunities to improve his mind since he broke his iron fetters it is in my judgment highly creditable to his head and heart he who can peruse it without a tearful eye a heaving breast an afflicted spirit without being filled with an unutterable abhorrence of slavery and all its abetters and animated with a determination to seek the immediate overthrow of that EXO crippled system without trembling for the fate of this country in the hands of a righteous God who is ever on the side of the oppressed and whose arm is not shortened that it cannot save must have a flinty heart and be qualified to act the part of a trafficker in slaves and the souls of men I am confident that it is essentially true in all its statements that nothing has been set down in malice nothing exaggerated nothing drawn from the imagination that it comes short of the reality rather than overstates a single fact in regard to slavery as it is the experience of Frederick Douglass as a slave was not a peculiar one his lot was not especially a hard one his case may be regarded as a very fair specimen of the treatment of slaves in Maryland in which state it is conceded that they are better fed and less cruelly treated than in Georgia Alabama or Louisiana many have suffered incomparably more while very few on the plantations have suffered less than himself yet how deplorable was his situation what terrible chastisements were inflicted upon his person what still more shocking outrages were perpetrated upon his mind with all his noble powers and sublime aspirations how like a brute was he treated even those professing to have the same mind in them that was in Christ Jesus - what dreadful liabilities was he continually subjected how destitute of friendly counsel and aid even in his greatest extremities how heavy was the midnight wool which shrouded in blackness the last ray of hope and filled the future with terror and gloom what longings after freedom took possession of his breasts and how his misery augmented in proportion as he grew reflective and intelligent thus demonstrating that a happy slave is an extinct man how he thought reasoned felt under the lash of the driver with chains upon his limbs what perils he encountered in his endeavors to escape from his horrible doom and how signal have been his deliverance and preservation in the midst of a nation of pitiless enemies this narrative contains many effecting incidents many passages of great eloquence and power but I think the most thrilling one of them all is the description Douglass gives of his feelings as he stood soliloquizing respecting his fate and the chances of his one day being a free man on the banks of the Chesapeake Bay viewing the receding vessels as they flew with their white wings before the breeze and apostrophizing them as animated by the living spirit of freedom who can read that passage and be insensible to its pathos and sublimity compressed into it as a whole Alexandrian library of thought feeling and sentiment all that can all that need be urged in the form of expostulation and treaty rebuke against that crime of crimes making man the property of his fellow men oh how accursed is that system which in tombs the godlike mind of man he faces the divine image reduces those who by creation were crowned with glory and honour to a level with four-footed beasts and exalts the dealer in human flesh above all that is called God why should its existence be prolonged one hour is it not evil only evil and that continually what does its presence imply but the absence of all fear of God all regard for man on the part of the people of the United States heaven speed its eternal overthrow so profoundly the nature of slavery are many persons that they are stubbornly incredulous whenever they read or listen to any recital of the cruelties which are daily inflicted on its victims they do not deny that the slaves are held as property but that terrible fact seems to convey to their minds no idea of injustice exposure to outrage or savage barbarity tell them of cruel scourgings of mutilations and brandings of scenes of pollution and blood of the banishment of all light and knowledge and they affect to be greatly indignant at such enormous exaggerations such wholesale misstatements such abominable libels on the character of the southern planters as if all these direful outrages were not the natural results of slavery as if it were less cruel to reduce a human being to the condition of a thing than to give him a severe flagellation or to deprive him of necessary food and clothing as if whips chains thumbscrews paddles bloodhounds overseers drivers patrols were not all indispensable to keep the slaves down and to give protection to their ruthless oppressors as if when the marriage institution is abolished concubinage adultery and incest must not necessarily abound when all the rights of humanity are annihilated any barrier remains to protect the victim from the fury of the spoiler when absolute power is assumed over life and liberty it will not be wielded with destructive sway skeptics of this character abound in society in some two instances their incredulity arises from a want of reflection but generally it indicates a hatred of the light a desire to shield slavery from the assaults of its foes a contempt of the colored race whether bond or free such will try to discredit the shocking tales of slaveholding cruelty which are recorded in this truthful narrative but they will labor in vain mr. Douglass has frankly disclosed the place of his birth the names of those who claimed ownership in his body and soul and the names also of those who committed the crimes which he has alleged against them his statements therefore may easily be disproved if they are untrue in the course of his narrative he relates two instances of murderous cruelty in one of which a planter deliberately shot a slave belonging to a neighboring plantation who had unintentionally gotten within his lordly domain in quest of fish and in the other an overseer blew out the brains of a slave who had fled to a stream of water to escape a bloody scourging mr. Douglass states that in neither of these instances was anything done by way of legal arrest or judicial investigation the Baltimore American of March 17 1845 relates a similar case of atrocity perpetrated with similar impunity as follows shooting a slave we learn upon the authority of a letter from Charles County Maryland received by a gentlemen of this city that a young man named Matthew's a nephew of general Matthews and whose father it is believed holds an office at Washington killed one of the slaves upon his father's farm by shooting him the letter states that young Matthews had been left in charge of the farm that he gave an order to the servant which was disobeyed when he proceeded to the house obtained a gun and returning shot the servant he immediately the letter continues fled to his father's residence where he still remains unmolested end of quote let it never be forgotten that no slave holder or overseer can be convicted of any outrage perpetrated on the person of a slave however diabolical it may be on the testimony of colored witnesses whether bond or free by the slave code they are adjudged to be as incompetent to testify against a white man as though they were indeed a part of the brute creation hence there is no legal protection in fact whatever there may be in form for the slave population and any amount of cruelty may be inflicted on them with impunity is it possible for the human mind to conceive of a more horrible state of society the effect of a religious profession on the conduct of southern masters is vividly described in the following narrative and shown to be anything but salutary in the nature of the case it must be in the highest degree pernicious the testimony of mr. Douglass on this point is by a cloud of witnesses whose veracity is unimpeachable a slaveholders profession of Christianity is a palpable imposture he is a felon of the highest grade he is a man-stealer it is of no importance what you put in the other scale reader are you with the man stealers in sympathy and purpose or on the side of their downtrodden victims if with the former then you are the foe of God and man if with the latter what are you prepared to do and dare in their behalf be faithful be vigilant be untiring in your efforts to break every yoke and let the oppressed go free come what may cost what it may inscribe on the banner which you unfurl to the breeze as your religious and political motto no compromise with slavery no union with slaveholders William Lloyd Garrison Boston may 1st 1845 letter from Wendell Phillips Esquire Boston April 22nd 1845 my dear friend you remember the old fable of the man and the lion where the lion complained that he should not be so misrepresented when the Lions rode history I am glad the time has come when the Lions write history we had been left long enough to gather the character of slavery from the involuntary evidence of the Masters one might indeed rest sufficiently satisfied with what it is evident must be in general the results of such a relation without seeking farther to find whether they have followed in every instance indeed those who stare at the half peck of corn a week and love to count the lashes on the slaves back are seldom the stuff out of which reformers and abolitionists are to be made I remember that in 1838 many were waiting for the results of the West India experiment before they could come into our ranks those results have come long ago but alas few of that number have come with them as converts a man must be disposed to judge of emancipation by other tests than whether it has increased the produce of sugar and to hate slavery for other reasons than because it starves men and whips women before he is ready to lay the first stone of his anti-slavery life I was glad to learn in your story how early the most neglected of God's children waken to a sense of their rights and of the injustice done them experience is a keen teacher and long before you had mastered your ABC or knew where the white sails of the Chesapeake were bound you began I see to gauge the wretchedness of the slave not by his hunger and want not by his lashes and toil but by the cruel and blighting death which gathers over his soul in connection with this there is one circumstance which makes your recollections peculiarly valuable and renders your early insight to the more remarkable you come from that part of the country where we are told slavery appears with its fairest features let us hear then what it is at its best estate gaze on its bright side if it has one and then imagination may task her powers to add dark lines to the picture as she travels southward to that for the colored man valley of the shadow of death where the Mississippi sweeps along again we have known you long and can put the most entire confidence in your truth candor and sincerity everyone who has heard you speak has felt and I am confident everyone who reads your book will feel persuaded that you give them a fair specimen of the whole truth no one-sided portrait no wholesale complaints but strict justice done whenever individual kindness has neutralized for a moment the deadly system with which it was strangely aligned you have been with us to some years and can fairly compare the twilight of Rights which your race and joy at the north with that noon of night under which they labor south of Mason and Dixon's line tell us whether after all the half free colored man of Massachusetts is worse off than the pampered slave of the rice swamps in reading your life no one can say that we have unfairly picked out some rare specimens of cruelty we know that the bitter drops which even you have drained from the cup are no incidental aggravations no individual ills but such as must mingle always and necessarily in the lot of every slave they are the essential ingredients not the occasional results of the system after all I shall read your book with trembling for you some years ago when you were beginning to tell me your real name and the birthplace you may remember I stopped you and preferred to remain ignorant of all with the exception of a vague description so I continued till the other day when you read me your memoirs I hardly knew at the time whether to thank you or not for the sight of them when I reflected that it was still dangerous in Massachusetts for honest men to tell their names they say the fathers in 1776 signed the Declaration of Independence with the halter about their necks you to publish your declaration of freedom with danger compasses you around in all the broad lands which the Constitution of the United States overshadows there is no single spot however narrow or desolate where a fugitive slave can plant himself and say I am safe the whole armory of northern law has no shield for you I am free to say that in your place I should throw the manuscript into the fire you perhaps may tell your story in safety endeared as you are to so many warm hearts by rare gifts and a still rarer devotion of them to the service of others but it will be owing only to your labors and the fearless efforts of those who trampling the laws and constitution of the contrary under their feet are determined that they will hide the outcasts and that their hard shall be spite of the law an asylum for the oppressed if some time or other the humblest may stand in our streets and bear witness in safety against the cruel T's of which he has been the victim yet it is sad to think that these very throbbing hearts which welcome your story and form your best safeguard in telling it are all beating contrary to the statute in such case made and provided go on my dear friend till you and those who like you have been saved so as by fire from the dark prison house shall stereotyped these free illegal pulses into statutes and New England cutting loose from a blood-stained Union shall glory in being the house of refuge for the oppressed till we no longer merely hide the outcast or make a merit of standing idly by while he is hunted in our midst but consecrating anew the soil of the pilgrims as an asylum for the oppressed proclaim our welcome to the slaves so loudly that the tones shall reach every hut in the Carolinas and make the brokenhearted bondman leap up at the thought of old Massachusetts Godspeed the day till then and ever yours truly Wendell Phillips narrative of the life of Frederick Douglass an American slave written by himself Boston published at the anti slavery office number 25 corn hill 1845 entered according to act of Congress in the Year 1845 by Frederick Douglass in the clerk's office of the district court of Massachusetts chapter one I was born in Tuckahoe near Hillsboro and about twelve miles from Easton in Talbot County Maryland I have no accurate knowledge of my age never having seen any authentic record containing it by far the larger part of the slaves know as little of their ages as horses know of theirs and it is the wish of most masters within my knowledge to keep their slaves the Cygnet I do not remember to have ever met a slave who could tell on his birthday they seldom come nearer to it than planting time harvest time Jerry time spring time or fall time a want of information concerning my own was a source of unhappiness to me even during childhood the white children could tell their ages I could not tell why I ought to be deprived of the same privilege I was not allowed to make any inquiries of my master concerning it he deemed all such enquiries on the part of a slave improper and impertinent and evidence of a restless spirit the nearest estimate I can give makes me now between 27 and 28 years of age I come to this from hearing my master say sometime during 1835 I was about 17 years old my mother was named Harriet Bailey she was the daughter of Isaac and betsy bailey both colored and quite dark my mother was of a darker complexion than either my grandmother or grandfather my father was a white man he was admitted to be such by all I ever heard speak of my parentage the opinion was also whispered that my master was my father but of the correctness of this opinion I know nothing the means of knowing was withheld from me my mother and I were separated when I was but an infant before I knew her as my mother it is a common custom in the part of Maryland from which I ran away to part children from their mothers at a very early age frequently before the child has reached its twelfth month its mother is taken from it and hired out on some farm a considerable distance off and the child is placed under the care of an old woman too old for field labor for what this separation is done I do not know unless it is to hinder development of the child's affection toward its mother and to blunt and destroy the natural affection of the mother for the child this is the inevitable result I never saw my mother to know her as such more than four or five times in my life and each of these times was very short in duration and at night she was hired by a mr. Stuart who lived about twelve miles from my home she made her journeys to see me in the night traveling the whole distance on foot after the performance of her day's work she was a field hand and a whipping is the penalty of not being in the field at sunrise unless a slave has special permission from his or her master to the contrary a permission which they seldom get and one that gives to him that gives it the proud name of being a kind master I do not recollect of ever seeing my mother by the light of day she was with me in the night she would lie down with me and get me to sleep but long before I waked she was gone very little communication ever took place between us death soon ended what little we could have while she lived and with it her hardships and suffering she died when I was about seven years old on one of my Master's farms near Lee's mill I was not allowed to be present during her illness at her death or burial she was gone long before I knew anything about it never having enjoyed to any considerable extent her soothing presence her tender and watchful care I received the tidings of her death with much the same emotions as I should have probably felt at the death of a stranger called thus suddenly away she left me without the slightest intimation of who my father was the whisper that my master was my father may or may not be true and true or false it is a but little consequence to my purpose whilst the fact remains in all its glaring odious nests at slave holders have ordained and by law established that the children of slave women shall in all cases follow the condition of their mothers and this is done to obviously to administer to their own lusts and to make a gratification of their wicked desires profitable as well as pleasurable for by this cunning arrangement the slaveholder in case is not a few sustains to his slaves the double relation of master and father I know of such cases and it is worthy of remark that such slaves invariably suffer greater hardships and have more to contend with than others they are in the first place a constant offense to their mistress she is ever disposed to find fault with them they can seldom do anything to please her she is never better pleased then when she sees them under the lash especially when she suspects her husband of showing to his mulatto children favors which he withholds from his black slaves the master is frequently compelled to sell this class of his slaves out of deference to the feelings of his white wife and cruel as the deed may strike anyone to be for a man to sell his own children to human flesh mongers is often the dictate of humanity for him to do so for unless he does this he must not only whip them himself but must stand by and see one white son tie up his brother of but few shades darker complexion than himself and ply the gory lash to his naked back and if he lists one word of disapproval it is set down to his parental partiality and only makes a bad matter worse both for himself and the slave whom he would protect and defend every year brings with it multitudes of this class of slaves it was doubtless in consequence of a knowledge of this fact that one great statesman of the South predicted the downfall of slavery by the inevitable laws of population whether this prophecy is ever fulfilled or not it is nevertheless plain that a very different looking class of people are springing up at the south and are now held in slavery from those originally brought to this country from Africa and if there increase will do no other good it will do away the force of the argument that God cursed ham and therefore American slavery is right if the lineal descendants of ham are alone to be scripturally enslaved it is certain that slavery at the South must soon become unscriptural for thousands are ushered into the world annually who like myself Oh their existence to white fathers and those father's most frequently their own masters I have had two masters my first master's name was Anthony I do not remember his first name he was generally called Captain Anthony a title which I presume he acquired by sailing a craft on the Chesapeake Bay he was not considered a rich slave holder he owned two or three farms and about thirty slaves his farms and slaves were under the care of an overseer the overseers name was Plummer mr. Plummer was a miserable drunkard a profane swearer and a savage monster he always went armed with a cow skin and a heavy cudgel I have known him to cut and slash the women's heads so horribly that even master would be enraged at his cruelty and would threaten to whip him if he did not mind himself master however was not a humane slave holder it required extraordinary barbarity on the part of an overseer to affect him he was a cruel man hardened by a long life of slaveholding he would at times seem to take great pleasure in whipping a slave I have often been awakened at the dawn of day by the most heart-rending shrieks of a known aunt of mine whom he used to tie up to a joist and whip upon her naked back till she was literally covered with blood no words Oh tears no prayers from his gory victim seemed to move his iron heart from it's bloody purpose the louder she screamed the harder he whipped and where the blood ran fastest there he whipped longest he would whip her to make her scream and whip her to make her hush and not until overcome by fatigue would he cease to swing the blood clotted cowskin I remember the first time I ever witnessed this horrible exhibition I was quite a child but I will remember it I shall never forget it well sty remember anything it was the first of a long series of such outrages of which I was doomed to be a witness and the participant it struck me with awful force it was the blood-stained gate the entrance to the Hell of slavery through which I was about to pass it was a most terrible spectacle I wish I could commit to paper the feelings with which I beheld it this occurrence took place very soon after I went to live with my old master and under the following circumstances aunt Hester went out one night where or for what I do not know and happened to be absent when my master desired her presence he had ordered her not to go out evenings and warned her that she must never let him catch her in company with a young man who was paying attention to her belonging to Colonel Lloyd the young man's name was Ned Roberts generally called Lords Ned why master was so careful of her may be safely left to conjecture she was a woman of noble form and of graceful proportions having very few equals and fewer superiors in personal appearance among the colored or white women of our neighborhood Aunt Esther had not only disobeyed his orders in going out but had been found in company with Lords Ned which circumstance I've found from what he said while whipping her was the chief offence had he been a man of pure morals himself he might have been thought interested in protecting the innocence of my aunt but those who knew him will not suspect him of any such virtue before he commenced whipping aunt Hester he took her into the kitchen and stripped her from neck to waist leaving her neck shoulders and back entirely naked he then told her to cross her hands calling her at the same time a damned [ __ ] after crossing her hands he tied them with a strong rope and led her to a stool under a large hook in the joist put in for the purpose he made her get upon the stool and tied her hands to the hook she now stood fair for his infernal purpose her arms were stretched up at their full length so that she stood upon the ends of her toes he then said to her now you damned [ __ ] I'll learn you how to disobey my orders and after rolling up his sleeves he commenced to lay on the heavy cow skin and soon the warm red blood amid heart-rending shrieks from her and horrid ODEs from him came dripping to the floor I was so terrified and horror-stricken at the sight but I hid myself in a closet and dared not venture out to long after the bloody transaction was over I expected it would be my turn next it was all new to me I had never seen anything like it before I had always lived with my grandmother on the outskirts of the plantation where she was put to raise the children of the younger women I had therefore been until now out of the way of the bloody scenes that often occurred on the plantation chapter 2 my Master's family consisted of two sons Andrew and Richard one daughter Lucretia and her husband Captain Thomas auld they lived in one house upon the home plantation of Colonel Edward Lloyd my master was Colonel Lodz clerk and superintendent he was what might be called the overseer of the overseers I spent two years of childhood on this plantation in my old masters family it was here that I witnessed the bloody transaction recorded in the first chapter and as I received my first impressions of slavery on this plantation I will give some description of it and of slavery as it there existed the plantation is about 12 miles north of Easton in Talbot County and is situated on the border of miles river the principal products raised upon it were tobacco corn and wheat these were raised in great abundance so that with the products of this and the other farms belonging to him he was able to keep in almost constant employment a large sloop and carrying them to market at Baltimore this loop was named Sally Lloyd Inn on one of the Colonel's daughters my master's son-in-law captain auld was master of the vessel she was otherwise manned by the Colonel's own slaves their names were Peter Isaac rich and Jake these were esteemed very highly by the other slaves and looked upon as the privileged ones of the plantation for it was no small affair in the eyes of the slaves to be allowed to see Baltimore Colonel Lloyd kept from three or four hundred slaves on his home plantation and owned a large number more on the neighboring farms belonging to him the names of the farms nearest to the home plantation were white town and new design-y town was under the overseer ship of a man named Noah Willis new design was under the overseer ship of a mr. Townsend the overseers of these and all the rest of the farms numbering over 20 received advice and direction from the managers of the home plantation this was the great business place it was the seat of government for the whole twenty farms all disputes among the overseers were settled here if a slave was convicted of any high misdemeanor became unmanageable or evinced a determination to run away he was brought immediately here severely whipped put on board the sloop carried to Baltimore and sold to Austin Woolfolk or some other slave trader as a warning to the slaves remaining here to the slaves of all the other farms received their monthly allowance of food and their yearly clothing the men and women slaves received as their monthly allowance of food eight pounds of pork or its equivalent in fish and one bushel of corn meal their yearly clothing consisted of two coarse linen shirts one pair of linen trousers like the shirts one jacket one pair of trousers for winter made of coarse Negro cloth one pair of stockings and one pair of shoes the whole of which could not have caused more than $7 the allowance of the slave children was given to their mothers or the old women having the care of them the children unable to work in the field had neither shoes stockings jackets nor trousers given to them their clothing consisted of two coarse linen shirts per year when these failed them they were naked until the next allowance day children from seven to ten years old of both sexes almost naked might be seen at all seasons of the year there were no beds given the slaves unless one course blanket to be considered such and none but the men and women had these this however is not considered a very great privation they find less difficulty from the one of beds than from the watt of time to sleep for when their day's work in the field is done the most of them having their washing mending and cooking to do and having few or none of the ordinary facilities for doing either of these very many of their sleeping hours are consumed in preparing for the field the coming day and when this is done old and young male and female married and single drop down side-by-side on one common bed the cold damp floor each covering himself or herself with their miserable blankets and here they sleep till they are summoned to the field by the drivers horn at the sound of this all must rise and be off to the field there must be no halting everyone must be at his or her post and woe betide z-- them who here not this morning summons to the field for if they are not awakened by the sense of hearing they are by the sense of feeling no age nor sex finds any favor mr. severe the overseer used to stand by the door of the quarter armed with a large Hickory stick and heavy cow skin ready to whip anyone who was so unfortunate as not to hear or from any other cause was prevented from being ready to start for the field at the sound of the horn mr. severe was rightly named he was a cruel man I have seen him whip a woman causing the blood to run half an hour at the time and this too in the midst of her crying children pleading for their mother's release he seemed to take pleasure in manifesting his fiendish barbarity added to his cruelty he was a profane swimmer it was enough to chill the blood and stiffen the hair of an ordinary man to hear him talk scarce a sentence escaped him that was not commenced or concluded by some horrid oath the field was the place to witness his cruelty and profanity his presence made it both the field of blood and of blasphemy from the rising till the going down of the Sun he was cursing raving cutting and slashing among the slaves of the field in the most frightful manner his career was short he died very soon after I went to Colonel Lloyd's and he died as he lived uttering with his dying groans bitter curses and horrid oaths his death was regarded by the slaves as the result of a merciful Providence mr. Severus place was filled by a mr. Hopkins he was a very different man he was less cruel less profane and made less noise than mr. severe his course was characterized by no extraordinary demonstrations of cruelty he whipped but seemed to take no pleasure in it he was called by the slaves a good overseer the home plantation of Colonel Lloyd wore the appearance of a country village all the mechanical operations for all the farms were performed here the shoe making and mending the blacksmithing cart writing coopering weaving and grain grinding were all performed by the slaves on the home plantation the whole place were a businesslike aspect very unlike the neighboring farms the number of houses too conspired to give an advantage over the neighboring farms it was called by the slaves the great house farm few privileges were esteemed higher by the slaves of the out farms then of being selected to do errands at the great house farm it was associated in their minds with greatness a representative could not be prouder of his election to a seat in the American Congress than a slave on one of the out farms would be of his election to do errands at the great house farm they regarded it as evidence of great confidence reposed in them by their overseers and it was on this account as well as a constant desire to be out of the field from under the drivers lash that they esteemed it a high privilege one worth careful living for he was called the smartest and most trusty fellow who had this honor conferred upon him the most frequently the competitors for this office sought as diligently to please their overseers as the office seekers and the political parties seek to please and deceive the people the same traits of character might be seen in Colonel Lloyd's slaves as are seen in the slaves of the political parties the slaves selected to go to the great house farm for the monthly allowance for themselves and their fellow slaves were peculiarly enthusiastic while on their way they would make the dense old woods for miles around reverberate with their wild songs revealing at once the highest joy and the deepest sadness they would compose and sing as they went along consulting neither time nor tune the thought that came up came out if not in the word in the sound and as frequently in the one as in the other they would sometimes sing the most pathetic sentiment in the most rapturous tone and the most rapturous sentiment in the most pathetic tone into all of their songs they would manage to weave something of the great house farm especially would they do this when leaving home they would then sing most exultant ly the following words I am going away to the great house farm oh yay oh yay oh this they would sing as a chorus two words which to many would seem unmeaning jargon but which nevertheless were full of meaning to themselves I have sometimes thought that the mere hearing of those songs would do more to impress some minds with the horrible character of slavery than the reading of whole volumes of philosophy on the subject could do I did not when a slave understand the deep meaning of those rude and apparently incoherent songs I was myself within the circle so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might see and hear they told a tale of woe which was then altogether beyond my feeble comprehension they were tones loud long and deep they breathed the prayer and complained of souls boiling over with the bitterest anguish every tone was a testimony against slavery and a prayer to God for deliverance from Chains the hearing of those wild notes always depressed my spirit and filled me with ineffable sadness I have frequently found myself in tears while hearing them the mere recurrence to those songs even now afflicts me and while I am writing these lines an expression of feeling has already found its way down my cheek to those songs I trace my first glimmering conception of the dehumanizing camera of slavery I can never get rid of that conception those songs still follow me to deepen my hatred of slavery and quickened my sympathies for my brethren in bonds if anyone wishes to be impressed with the soul killing effects of slavery let him go to Colonel Lloyd's plantation and on allowance day place himself in the deep pine woods and there let him in silence analyze the sounds that shall pass through the chambers of his soul and if he is not thus impressed it will only be because there is no flesh in his obdurate heart I have often been utterly astonished since I came to the north to find persons who could speak of a singing among slaves as evidence of their contentment and happiness it is impossible to conceive of a greater mistake slaves sing most when they are most unhappy the songs of the slave represent the sorrows of his heart and he is relieved by them only as an aching heart is relieved by its tears at least such as my experience I have often sung to drown my sorrow but seldom to express my happiness crying for joy and singing for joy were alike uncommon to me while in the jaws of slavery the singing of a man cast away upon a desolate island might be as appropriately considered as evidence of contentment and happiness as the singing of a slave the songs of the one and of the other are prompted by the same emotion chapter 3 Colonel Lloyd kept a large and finely cultivated garden which afforded almost constant employment for four men besides the chief gardener mr. mederma and this garden was probably the greatest attraction of the place during the summer months people came from far and near from Baltimore Easton and Annapolis to see it it abounded in fruits of almost every description from the hardy apple of the north to the delicate orange of the south this garden was not the least source of trouble on the plantation it's excellent fruit was quite a temptation to the hungry swarms of boys as well as the older slaves belonging to the colonel few of whom had the virtue or the vice to resist it scarcely a day passed during the summer but that some slave had to take the lash force stealing fruit the colonel had to resort to all kinds of stratagems to keep his slaves out of the garden the last and most successful one was that of tearing his fence all around after which if a slave was caught with any tar upon his person it was deemed sufficient proof that he had either been into the garden or had tried to get in in either case he was severely whipped by the chief gardener this plan worked well the slaves became as fearful of tar as of the lash they seemed to realize the impossibility of touching tar without being defiled the colonel also kept a splendid writing equipping his stable and carriage house presented the appearance of some of our large city livery establishments his horses were of the finest form and noblest blood his carriage house contained three splendid coaches three or four gigs besides Dearborn's and mirages of the most fashionable style this establishment was under the care of two slaves old Barney and young Barney father and son to attend to this establishment was their sole work but it was by no means an easy employment for in nothing was Colonel Lloyd more particular than in the management of his horses the slightest in attention to these was unpardonable and was visited upon those under whose care they were placed with the satirist punishment no excuse could shield them if the colonel only suspected any want of attention to his horses a supposition which he frequently indulged and one which of course made the office of old and young Barney a very trying one they never knew when they were safe from punishment they were frequently whipped when least deserving and escaped whipping when most deserving it everything depended upon the looks of the horses and the state of Colonel Lords own mind when his horses were brought to him for use if a horse did not move fast enough or hold his head high enough it was owing to some fault of his keepers it was painful to stand near the stable door and hear the various complaints against the keepers when a horse was taken out for use this horse has not had proper attention he has not been sufficiently rubbed and curried or he has not been properly fed his food was too wet or too dry he got it too soon or too late he was too hot or too cold he had too much hay and enough grain or he had too much grain and not enough of hay instead of old barney is attending to the horse he had very improperly left it to his son to all these complaints no matter how unjust the slave must answer never a word Colonel Lloyd could not Brook any contradiction from a slave when he spoke a slave must stand listen and tremble and such was literally the case I have seen Colonel Lloyd make old Barney a man between fifty and sixty years of age uncover his bald head kneel down upon the cold damp ground and receive upon his naked and toil worn shoulders more than thirty lashes at the time Colonel Lloyd had three sons Edward Murray and Daniel and three sons-in-law mr. winter mr. Nicholson and mr. Landis all of these lived at the great house farm and enjoyed the luxury of whipping the servants when they pleased from old Barney down to William Wilkes the coach driver I have seen winter make one of the house servants stand off from him a suitable distance to be touched with the end of his whip and at every stroke raised great ridges upon his back to describe the wealth of Colonel Lloyd would be almost equal to describing the riches of job he kept from ten to fifteen house servants he was said to own a thousand slaves and I think this estimates quite within the truth Colonel Lloyd owned so many that he did not know them when he saw them nor did all the slaves of the out farms know him it is reported of him that while riding along the road one day he met a colored man and addressed him in the usual manner of speaking to colored people on the public highways of the south well boy whom do you belong to - Colonel Lord replied the slave well does the colonel treat you well no sir was the ready reply what does he work you too hard yes sir well don't he give you enough to eat yes sir he gives me enough such as it is the colonel after ascertaining where the slave belonged rode on the man also went on about his business not dreaming that he had been conversing with his master he thought said and heard nothing more of the matter until two or three weeks afterwards the poor man was then informed by his overseer that for having found fault with his master he was now to be sold to a Georgia trader he was immediately chained and handcuffed and thus without a moment's warning he was snatched away and forever sundered from his family and friends by hand more unrelenting than death this is the penalty of telling the truth of telling the simple truth in answer to a series of plain questions it is partly in consequence of such facts that slaves when inquired of as to their condition and the character of their masters almost universally say they are contented and that their masters are kind the slaveholders have been known to send in spies among their slaves to ascertain their views and feelings in regard to their condition the frequency of this has had the effect to establish among the slaves the maxim that a still tongue makes a wise head they suppress the truth rather than take the consequences of telling it and in so doing prove themselves a part of the human family if they have anything to say of their masters it is generally in their masters favour especially when speaking to an untried man I have been frequently asked when a slave if I had a kind master and do not remember ever to have given a negative answer nor did I in pursuing this course consider myself as other in what was absolutely false for I always measure the kindness of my master by the standard of kindness set up among slaveholders around us moreover slaves are like other people and imbibe prejudices quite common to others they think their own better than that of others many under the influence of this prejudice think their own masters are better than the Masters of other slaves and to this too in some cases when the very reverse is true indeed it is not uncommon for slaves even to fall out and quarrel among themselves about the relative goodness of their masters each contending for the superior goodness of his own over that of the others at the very same time they mutually execrate their masters when viewed separately it was so on our plantation when Colonel Lloyd slaves met the slaves of Jacob Jepsen they seldom parted without a quarrel about their masters Colonel Lloyd slaves contending that he was the richest and mr. Jepson slaves that he was the smartest and most of a man Colonel Lloyd slaves would boast his ability to buy and sell Jacob Jepsen mr. Jepson slaves would boast his ability to whip Colonel Lloyd quarrels would almost always end in a fight between the parties and those that whipped were supposed to have gained the point at issue they seemed to think that the greatness of their masters was transferable to themselves it was considered as being bad enough to be a slave but to be a poor man's slave was deemed a disgrace indeed chapter 4 mr. Hopkins remained but a short time in the office of overseer why his career was so short I do not know but suppose he lacked the necessary severity to suit Colonel Lord mr. Hopkins was succeeded by mr. Austin Gore a man possessing in an eminent degree all those traits of character indispensable to what is called a first-rate overseer mr. Gore had served colonel Lord in the capacity of overseer upon one of the out farms and had shown himself worthy of the high station of overseer upon the home or a great house farm mr. Gore was proud ambitious and persevering he was artful cruel and obdurate he was just the man for such a place and it was just the place for such a man it afforded scope for the full exercise of all his powers and he seemed to be perfectly at home in it he was one of those who could torture the slightest look word or gesture on the part of the slave into impudence and would treat it accordingly there must be no answering back to him no explanation was allowed a slave showing himself to have been wrongfully accused mr. Gore acted fully up to the max and laid down by the slaveholders it is better that a dozen slaves suffer under the lash then that the overseer should be convicted in the presence of the slaves of having been at fault no matter how innocent a slave might be it availed him nothing when accused by mr. Gore of any misdemeanor to be accused was to be convicted and to be convicted was to be punished the one always following the other with immutable certainty to escape punishment was to escape accusation and few slaves had the fortune to do either under the overseer ship of mr. gore he was just proud enough to demand the most debasing homage of the slave and quite servile enough to crouch himself at the feet of the master he was ambitious enough to be contented with nothing short of the higher drank of Overseers and persevering enough to reach the height of his ambition he was cruel enough to inflict the Severus punishment artful enough to descend to the lowest trickery and obdurate enough to be insensible to the voice of a reproving conscience he was of all the overseers the most dreaded by the slaves his presence was painful his eye flashed confusion and seldom was his sharp shrill voice heard without producing horror and trembling in their ranks mr. gore was a grave man and although a young man he indulged in no jokes said no funny words seldom smiled his words were imperfect keeping with his looks and his looks were imperfect keeping with his words overseers will sometimes indulge in a witty word even with the slaves not so with mr. gore he spoke but to command and commanded but to be obeyed he dealt sparingly with his words and bountifully with his whip never using the former where the latter would answer as well when he whipped he seemed to do so from a sense of duty and feared no consequences he did nothing reluctantly no matter how disagreeable always at his post never inconsistent he never promised but to fulfill he was in a word a man of the most inflexible firmness and stone-like coolness his savage barbarity was equaled only by the consummate coolness with which he submitted the grossest and most savage deeds upon the slaves under his charge mr. Gore once undertook to whip one of Colonel Lloyd slaves by the name of Denby he had given Denby but few stripes when to get rid of the scourging he ran and plunged himself into a creek and stood there at the depth of his shoulders refusing to come out mr. gore told him that he would give him three calls and that if he did not come out at the third call he would shoot him the first call was given Denby made no response but stood his ground the second and third calls were given with the same result mr. gore then without consultation or deliberation with anyone not even giving dem be an additional call raised his musket to his face taking deadly aim at his standing victim and in an instant poor Denby was no more his mangled body sank out of and blood and brains marked the water where he had stood a thrill of horror flesh through every soul upon the plantation accepting mr. gore he alone seemed cool and collected he was asked by Colonel Lord and my old master why he resorted to this extraordinary expedient his reply was as well as I can remember that Denby had to become unmanageable he was setting a dangerous example to the other slaves one which if suffered to pass without some demonstration on his part would finally lead to the total subversion of all rule and order upon the plantation he argued that if one slave refused to be corrected and escaped with his life the other slaves would soon copy the example the result of which would be the freedom of the slaves and the enslavement of the whites mr. Gore's defense was satisfactory he was continued in his station as overseer upon the home plantation his fame as an overseer went abroad his horrid crime was not he been submitted to judicial investigation it was committed in the presence of slaves and they of course could neither institute a suit nor testify against him and thus the guilty perpetrator of one of the bloodiest and most foul murders goes on whipped of justice and uncensored by the community in which he lives mr. Gore lived in st. Michael's Talbot County Maryland when I left there and if he is still alive he very probably lives there now and if so he is now as he was then as highly esteemed and as much respected as though his guilty soul had not been stained with his brothers blood I speak advisedly when I say this that killing a slave or any colored person in Talbot County Maryland is not treated as a crime either by the courts or the community mr. Thomas Landman of st. Michael's killed two slaves one of whom he killed with a hatchet by knocking his brains out he used to boast of the commission of the awful and bloody deed I have heard him do so laughingly saying among other things that he was the only benefactor of his country in the company and that when others would do as much as he had done we should be relieved of the damned [ __ ] the wife of mr. Giles Hicks living but a short distance from where I used to live murdered my wife's cousin a young girl between 15 and sixteen years of age mangling her person in the most horrible manner breaking her nose and breastbone with a stick so that the poor girl expired in a few hours afterward she was immediately buried but had not been in her untimely grave but a few hours before she was taken up and examined by the coroner who decided that she had come to her death by severe beating the offence for which this girl was thus murdered was this she had been set that night to mind mrs. Hicks baby and during the night she fell asleep and the baby cried she having lost her rest for several nights previous did not hear the crying they were both in the room with mrs. Hicks mrs. Hicks finding the girl slow to move jumped from her bed seized an oak stick of wood by the fireplace and with it broke the girl's nose and breastbone and thus ended her life I will not say that this most horrid murder produced no sensation in the community it did produce sensation but not enough to bring the murderess to punishment there was a warrant issued for her arrest but it was never served thus she escaped not only punishment but even the pain of being arraigned before a court for her horrid crime whilst I am detailing bloody deeds which took place during my stay on Colonel Lloyd's plantation I will briefly narrator which occurred about the same time as the murder of Denby by mr. Corps Colonel Lloyd slaves were in the habit of spending a part of their nights and Sundays in fishing for oysters and in this way made up the deficiency of their scanty allowance an old man belonging to Colonel Lloyd while thus engaged happened to get beyond the limits of Colonel Lloyd's and on the premises of mr. Beale Bond Lee at this trespass mr. Bartlett took offense and with his musket came down to the shore and blew its deadly contents into the poor old man mr. bond Lee came over to see Colonel Lloyd the next day whether to pay him for his property or to justify himself in what he had done I know not at any rate this whole fiendish transaction was soon hushed up there was very little said about it at all and nothing done it was a common saying even among little white boys that it was worth a half cent to kill a [ __ ] and a half cent to bury one Chapter five as to my own treatment while I lived on Colonel Lloyd's plantation it was very similar to that of the other slave children I was not old enough to work in the field and there being little else than field work to do I had a great deal of leisure time the most I had to do was to drive up the cows and evening keep the fowls out of the garden keep the front yard clean and run of errands for my old masters daughter mrs. Lucretia auld the most of my leisure time I spent in helping master Daniel Lloyd in finding his birds after he had shot them my connection with master Daniel was of some advantage to me he became quite attached to me and was a sort of protector of me he would not allow the older boys to impose upon me and would divide his cakes with me I was seldom whipped by my old master and suffered little from anything else than hunger and cold I suffered much from hunger but much more from cold in hottest summer and coldest winter I was kept almost naked no shoes no stockings no jacket no trousers nothing on but a coarse tow-linen shirt reaching only to my knees I had no bed I must have perished with cold but that the coldest nights I used to steal a bag which was used for carrying corn to the mill I would crawl into this bag and there asleep on the cold damp clay floor with my head in and feet out my feet had been so cracked with the frost that the pen with which I am writing might be laid in the gashes we were not regularly allowance to our food was coarse cornmeal boiled this was called mush it was put into a large wooden tray or trough and set down upon the ground the children were then called like so many pigs and like so many pigs they would come and devour the mush some with oyster shells others with pieces of shingle some with naked hands and none with spoons he that eighth fastest got most he that was strongest secured the best place and few left the trough satisfied I was probably between seven and eight years old when I left Colonel Lords plantation I left it with joy I shall never forget the ecstasy with which I received the intelligence that my old man Anthony had determined to let me go to Baltimore to live with mr. hue old brother to my old masters son-in-law Captain Thomas auld I received this information about three days before my departure they were three of the happiest days I ever enjoyed I spent the most part of all these three days in the creeks washing off the plantation scurf and preparing myself for my departure the pride of appearance which this would indicate was not my own I spent the time in washing not so much because I wished to but because mrs. Lucretia had told me I must get all the dead skin off my feet and leaves before I could go to Baltimore for the people in Baltimore were very cleanly and would laugh at me if I looked dirty besides she was going to give me a pair of trousers which I should not put on unless I got all the dirt off me the thought of owning a pair of trousers was great indeed it was almost a sufficient motive not only to make me take off what would be called by big drovers the mange but the skin itself I went at it in good earnest working for the first time with the hope of reward the ties that ordinarily bind children to their homes were all suspended in my case I found no severe trial in my departure my home was charmless it was not home to me on parting from it I could not feel that I was leaving anything which I could have enjoyed by staying my mother was dead my grandmother lived far off so that I seldom saw her I had two sisters and one brother that lived in the same house with me but the early separation of us from our mother had well-nigh blotted the fact of our relationship from our memories I looked for home elsewhere and was confident of finding none which I should relish less than the one which I was leaving if however I found in my new home a hardship hunger whipping and nakedness I had the consolation that I should not have escaped any one of them by staying having already had more than a taste of them in the house of my old master and having endured them there I very naturally inferred my ability to endure them elsewhere and especially at Baltimore for I had something of the feeling about Baltimore that is expressed in the proverb that being hanged in England is preferable to dying a natural death in Ireland I had the strongest desire to see Baltimore cousin Tom though not fluent in speech had inspired me with that desire by his eloquent description of the place I could never point out anything at the great house no matter how beautiful or powerful but that he had seen something at Baltimore far exceeding both in beauty and strength the object which I pointed out to him even the great house itself with all its pictures was far inferior to many buildings in Baltimore so strong was my desire that I thought a gratification of it would fully compensate for whatever loss of comforts I should sustain by the exchange I left without a regret and with the highest hopes of future happiness we sailed out of miles river for Baltimore on a Saturday morning I remember only the day of the week for at that time I had no knowledge of the days of the month nor the months of the year on setting sail I walked aft and gave to Colonel Lloyd's plantation what I hoped would be the last look I then placed myself in the boughs of this loop and there spent the remainder of the day in looking ahead interesting myself in what was in the distance rather than in things nearby or behind in the afternoon of that day we reached Annapolis the capital of the state we stopped but a few moments so that I had no time to go on shore it was the first large town that I had ever seen and though it would look small compared with some of our New England factory villages I thought at a wonderful place for its size more imposing even than the great house farm we arrived at Baltimore early on Sunday morning landing at Smith's Wharf not far from boley's Wharf we had on board the sloop a large flock of sheep and after aiding and driving them to the slaughterhouse of mr. Curtis on Loudoun Slater's Hill I was conducted by rich one of the hands belonging on board of the sloop to my new home in Elisha Anna Street near mr. Gardiner shipyard on Fells Point mr. mrs. auld were both at home and met me at the door with their little son Thomas to take care of home I had been given and here I saw what I had never seen before it was a white face beaming with the most kindly emotions it was the face of my new mistress Sophia auld I wish I could describe the rapture that flashed through my soul as I beheld it it was a new and strange sight to me brightening up my pathway with the light of happiness little Thomas was told there was his Freddie and I was told to take care of little Thomas and thus I entered upon the duties of my new home with the most cheering prospect ahead I looked upon my departure from Colonel Lloyd's plantation as one of the most interesting events of my life it is possible and even quite probable that but for the mere circumstance of being removed from that plantation to Baltimore I should have today instead of being here seated by my own table in the enjoyment of freedom and the happiness of home writing this narrative had been confined in the galling chains of slavery going to live at Baltimore laid the foundation and opened the gateway to all of my subsequent prosperity I have ever regarded it as the first plain manifestation of that kind Providence which has ever since attended me and marked my life with so many favors I regarded the selection of myself as being somewhat remarkable there were a number of slave children that might have been sent from the plantation to Baltimore there were those younger those older and those of the same age I was chosen from among them all and was the first last and only choice I may be deemed superstitious and even egotistical in regarding this event as a special interposition of divine providence in my favor but I should be false in the earliest sentiments of my soul if I suppress the opinion I prefer to be true to myself even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others rather than to be false and incur my own at horns from my earliest recollection I date the entertainment of a deep conviction that slavery would not always be able to hold me within its foul embrace and in the darkest hours of my career in slavery this living word of faith and spirit of hope departed not from me but remained like ministering angels to cheer me through the gloom this good spirit was from God and to him I offer Thanksgiving praise Chapter six my new mistress proved to be all she appeared when I first met her at the door a woman of the kindest heart and finest feelings she had never had a slave under her control previously to myself and prior to her marriage she had been dependent upon her own industry for a living she was my trade a weaver and by constant application to her business she had been in a good degree preserved from the blighted and dehumanizing effects of slavery I was utterly astonished at her goodness I scarcely knew how to behave towards her she was entirely unlike any other white woman I had ever seen I could not approach her as I was accustomed to approach other white ladies my early instruction was all out of place the crouching civility usually so acceptable a quality in a slave did not answer when manifested toward her her favour was not gained by it she seemed to be disturbed by it she did not deem it impudent or unmannerly for a slave to look her in the face the meanest slave was put fully at ease in her presence and none left without feeling better for having seen her her face was made of heavenly smiles and her heart of tranquil music but alas this kind heart had but a short time to remain such the fatal poison of irresponsible power was already in her hands and soon commenced its infernal work that cheerful eye under the influence of slavery soon became red with rage that voice made all of sweet accord changed to one of harsh and horrid discord and that angelic face gave place to that of a demon very soon after I went to live with mr. and mrs. old she very kindly commenced to teach me the ABC after I had learned this she assisted me in learning to spell words of three or four letters just at this point of my progress mr. auld found out what was going on and at once forbade mrs. old to instruct me further telling her among other things that it was unlawful as well as unsafe to teach a slave to read to use his own words further he said if you give a [ __ ] an inch he will take an ell a [ __ ] should know nothing but to obey his master to do as he is told to do learning will spoil the best [ __ ] in the world now he said if you teach that [ __ ] speaking of myself how to read there would be no keeping him it would forever unfit him to be a slave he would at once become unmanageable and of no value to his master as to himself it could do him no good but a great deal of harm it would make him discontented and unhappy these words sank deep into my heart stirred up sentiments within that lay slumbering and called into existence an entirely new train of thought it was a new and special revelation explaining dark and mysterious things with which my youthful understanding had struggled but struggled in vain I now understood what had been to be a most perplexing difficulty to wit the white man's power to enslave the black man it was a grand achievement and I prized it highly from that moment I understood the pathway from slavery to freedom it was just what I wanted and I got it at a time when I the least expected it whilst I was saddened by the thought of losing the aid of my kind mistress I was gladdened by the invaluable instruction which by the merest accident I had gained from my master though conscious of the difficulty of learning without a teacher I set out with high hope and a fixed purpose at whatever cost of trouble to learn how to read the very decided manner with which he spoke and strove to impress his wife with the evil consequences of giving me instruction served to convince me that he was deeply sensible of the truths he was uttering it gave me the best assurance that I might rely with the utmost confidence on the results which he said would flow from teaching me to read what he most dreaded that I most desired what he most loved that I most hated that which to him was a great evil to be carefully shunned was to me a great good to be diligently sought and the argument which he so warmly urged against my learning to read only served to inspire me with a desire and determination to learn in learning to read I almost as much to the bitter opposition of my master as to the kindly aid of my mistress I acknowledged the benefit of both I had resided but a short time in Baltimore before I observed a marked difference in the treatment of slaves from that which I had witnessed in the country a city slave is almost a free man compared with the slave on the plantation he is much better fed and clothed and enjoys privileges altogether unknown to the slave on the plantation there is a vestige of decency a sense of shame that does much to curb and check those outbreaks of atrocious cruelty so commonly enacted upon the plantation he is a desperate slave holder who will shock the humanity of his non-slaveholding neighbors with the cries of his lacerated slave few are willing to incur the odium attached to the reputation of being a cruel master and above all things they would not be known as not giving a slave enough to eat every city slave holder is anxious to have it known of him that he feeds his slaves well and it is due to them to say that most of them do give their slaves enough to eat there are however some painful exceptions to this rule directly opposite to us on Philpott Street live mr. Thomas Hamilton he owned two slaves their names were Henrietta and Mary Henrietta was about 22 years of age Mary was about 14 and of all the mangled and emaciated creatures I ever looked upon these two were the most so his heart must be harder than stone that could look upon those unmoved the head neck and shoulders of Mary were literally cut to pieces I have frequently felt her head and found it nearly covered with festering sores caused by the lash of her cruel mistress I do not know that her master ever whipped her but I have been an eyewitness to the cruelty of mrs. Hamilton I used to be in mr. Hamilton's house nearly every day mrs. Hamilton used to sit in a large chair in the middle of the room with a heavy cow skin always by her side and scarce an hour passed during the day but was marked by the blood of one of these slaves the girl seldom passed her without her saying move faster you black dip at the same time giving them a blow with the cow skin over the head and shoulders often drawing the lud she would then say take that you black [ __ ] continuing if you don't move faster I'll move you added to the crew lashings to which these slaves were subjected they were kept nearly half starved they seldom near what it was to eat a full meal I have seen Mary contending with the pigs for the awful thrown into the street so much was Mary kicked and cut to pieces that she was often are called pecked than by her name chapter 7 I lived in master Hughes family about seven years during this time I succeeded in learning to read and write in accomplishing this I was compelled to resort to various stratagems I had no regular teacher my mistress who had kindly commenced to instruct me had in compliance with the advice and direction of her husband not only seized to instruct but had set her face against my being instructed by anyone else it is due however to my mistress to say of her that she did not adopt this course of treatment immediately she had first lacked to the depravity and dispensable to shutting me up in mental darkness it was at least necessary for her to have some training in the exercise of irresponsible power to make her equal to the task of treating me as though I were a brute my mistress was as I have said a kind and tender-hearted woman and in the simplicity of her soul she commenced when I first went to live with her to treat me as she supposed one human being not to treat another in entering upon the duties of a slaveholder she did not seem to perceive that I sustained to her the relationship of a mere chattel and that for her to treat me as a human being was not only wrong but dangerously so slavery proved as injurious to her as it did to me when I went there she was a pious warm and tender-hearted woman there was no sorrow or suffering for which she had not a tear she had bread for the hungry clothes for the naked and comfort for every mourner at came within her reach slavery soon proved its ability to divest her of these heavenly qualities under its influence the tender heart became stone and the Lamb like a dispositions gave way to one of tiger-like fierceness the first step in her downward course was in her ceasing to instruct me she now commenced to practice her husband's precepts she finally became even more violent in her opposition than her husband himself she was not satisfied with simply doing as well as he had commanded she seemed anxious to do better nothing seemed to make her more angry than to see me with a newspaper she seemed to think that here lay the danger I have had her rush at me with a face made all up of fury and snatched from me a newspaper in a manner that fully revealed her apprehension she was an apt woman and a little experience soon demonstrated to her satisfaction that education and slavery were incompatible with each other from this time I was most narrowly watched if I was in a separate room any considerable length of time I was sure to be suspected of having a book and was at once called to give an account of myself all this however was too late the first step had been taken mistress in teaching me the alphabet had given me the inch and no precaution could prevent me from taking the El the plan which I adopted and the one by which I was most successful was that of making friends of all the little white boys whom I met in the street as many of these as I could I converted into teachers with their kindly aid obtained at different times and in different places I finally succeeded in learning to read when I was sent on errands I always took my book with me and by doing one part of my errand quickly I found time to get a lesson before my return I used also to carry bread with me enough of which was always in the house and to which I was always welcome for I was much better off in his regard than many of the poor white children in our neighborhood this brand I used to bestow upon the hungry little urchins who in return would give me that more valuable bread of knowledge I am strongly tempted to give the names of two or three of those little boys as a testimonial of the gratitude and affection I dare them but prudence forbids not that it would injure me but it might embarrass them for it is almost an unpardonable offense to teach slaves to read in this Christian country it is enough to say of the dear little fellows that they lived on Philpott Street very near durjan and Bailey shipyard I used to talk this matter of slavery over with them I would sometimes say to them I wished I could be as free as they would be when they got to be men you will be free as soon as you were 21 but I am a slave for life have not I as good a right to be free as you have these words used to trouble them they would express for me the liveliest sympathy and consoled me with the hope that something would occur by which I might be free I was now about twelve years old and the thought of being a slave for life began to bear heavily upon my heart just about this time I got hold of a book entitled the Columbian orator every opportunity I got I used to read this book among much of other interesting matter I found it at a dialogue between a master and his slave the slave was represented as having run away from his master three times the dialogue represented the conversation which took place between them when the slave was retaken the third time in this dialogue the whole argument in behalf of slavery was brought forward by the master all of which was disposed of by the slave the slave was made to say some very smart as well as impressive things in reply to his master things which had the desired though unexpected effect for the conversation resulted in the voluntary emancipation of the slave on the part of the master in the same book I met with one of Sheridan's mighty speeches on and into behalf of Catholic emancipation these were choice documents to me I read them over and over again with unabated interest they gave tongue to interesting thoughts of my own soul which had frequently flashed through my mind and died away for want of utterance the moral which I gained from the dialogue was the power of truth over the conscience of even a slaveholder what I got from Sheridan was a bold denunciation of slavery and a powerful vindication of human rights the reading of these documents enabled me to utter my thoughts and to meet the arguments brought forward to sustain slavery but while they relieved me of one difficulty they brought on another even more painful than the one of which I was relieved the more I read the more I was led to abhor and detest my enslavers I could regard them in no other light than and of successful robbers who had left their homes and gone to Africa and stolen us from our homes and in a strange land reduced us to slavery I loathed them as being the meanest as well as the most wicked of men as I read and contemplated the subject behold that very discontentment which master Hugh had predicted would follow my learning to read had already come to torment and sting my soul to unutterable anguish as I arrived under it I would at times feel that learning to read had been a curse rather than a blessing it had given me a view of my wretched condition without the remedy it opened my eyes to the horrible pit but to no ladder upon which to get out in moments of agony I envied my fellow slaves for their stupidity I have often wished myself a beast I preferred the condition of the meanest reptile to my own anything no matter what to get rid of thinking it was this everlasting thinking of my condition that tormented me there was no getting rid of it it was pressed upon me by every object within sight or hearing an animate or inanimate the Silver Trump of freedom had roused my soul to eternal wakefulness freedom now appeared to disappear no more forever it was heard in every sound and scene in everything it was ever-present to torment me with a sense of my wretched condition I saw nothing without seeing it I heard nothing without hearing it and felt nothing without feeling it it looked from every star it smiled in every calm breathed in every wind and moved in every storm I often found myself regretting my own existence and wishing myself dead and but for the hope of being free I have no doubt but that I should have killed myself or done something for which I should have been killed while in this state of mind I was eager to hear anyone speak of slavery I was already listener every little while I could hear something about the abolitionists it was some time before I found what the word meant it was always used in such connections as to make it an interesting word to me if a slave ran away and succeeded in getting clear if a slave killed his master set fire to a barn or did anything very wrong in the mind of a slave holder it was spoken of as the fruit of abolition hearing the word in this connection very often I set about learning what it meant the dictionary afforded me little or no help I found it was the act of abolishing but then I did not know what was to be abolished here I was perplexed I did not dare to ask anyone about its meaning for I was satisfied that it was something they wanted me to know very little about after a patient waiting I got one of our city papers containing an account of the number of petitions from the north praying for the abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and of the slave trade between the states from this time I understood the words abolition and abolitionist and always drew near when that word was spoken expecting to hear something of importance to myself and fellow slaves the light broke in upon me by degrees I went one day down on the wharf of mr. waters and seeing two Irishmen unloading a scow of stone I went unasked and helped them when we had finished one of them came to me and asked me if I were a slave I told him I was he asked are ye a slave for life I told him that I was the good Irishman seemed to be deeply affected by the statement he said to the other that it was a pity so fine a little fellow as myself should be a slave for life he said it was a shame to hold me they both advised me to run away to the north that I should find friends there and that I should be free I pretended not to be interested in what they said and treated them as if I did not understand them for I feared they might be treacherous white men had been known to encourage slaves to escape and then to get the reward catch them and return them to their masters I was afraid that these seemingly good men might use me so but I nevertheless remembered their advice and from that time I resolved to run away I looked forward to a time at which it would be safe for me to escape I was too young to think I'm doing so immediately besides I wish to learn how to write as I might have occasion to write my own pass I consoled myself with the hope that I should one day find a good chance meanwhile I would learn to write the idea as to how I might learn to ride was suggested to me by being in Durgin and Bailey shipyard and frequently seeing the ship carpenters after hewing and getting a piece of timber ready for use right on the timber the name of that part of the ship for which it was intended when a piece of timber was intended for the larboard side it would be marked thus l when a piece was for the starboard side it would be marked thus s a piece for the larboard side forward would be marked thus LF when a piece was for starboard side forward it would be marked thus SF for larboard aft it would be marked thus L a for starboard aft it would be marked thus s a I soon learned the names of these letters and for what they were intended when placed upon a piece of timber in the shipyard I immediately commenced copying them and in a short time was able to make the four letters named after that when I met with any boy who I knew could write I would tell him I could write as well as he the next word would be I don't believe you let me see you try it I would then make the letters which I had been so fortunate as to learn and ask him to beat that in this way I got a good many lessons in writing which it is quite possible I should never have gotten in any other way during this time my copybook was the board fence brick wall and pavement my pen and ink was a lump of chalk with these I learned mainly how to write I then commenced and continued copying the italics in Webster's spelling book until I could make them all without looking on the book by this time my little master Thomas had gone to school and learn how to write and had written over a number of copy books these had been brought home and shown to some of our dear neighbors and then laid aside my mistress used to go to class meeting at the Wilkes Street meeting house every Monday afternoon and leave me to take care of the house when left thus I used to spend the time in writing in the spaces left in master Thomas's copy book copying what he had written I continued to do this until I could write a hand very similar to that of master thus after a long tedious effort for years I finally succeeded in learning how to write chapter 8 in a very short time after I went to live at Baltimore my old masters youngest son Richard died and in about three years and six months after his death my old master captain Anthony died leaving only his son Andrew and daughter Lucrezia to share his estate he died while on a visit to see his daughter at Hillsborough cut off thus unexpectedly he left no will last to the disposal of his property it was therefore necessary to have a valuation of the property that it might be equally divided between mrs. Lucretia and master Andrew I was immediately sent for to be valued with the other property here again my feelings rose up in detestation of slavery I had now a new conception of my degraded condition prior to this I had become if not insensible to my lot at least partly so I left Baltimore with a young heart / born with sadness and a soul full of apprehension I took passage with captain row in the schooner Wildcat and after a sail of about 24 hours I found myself near the place of my birth I had now been absent from it almost if not quite five years I however remembered the place very well I was only about five years old when I left it to go and live with my old master on colonel Lords plantation so that I was now between ten and eleven years old we were all ranked together at the valuation men and women old and young married and single were ranked with horses sheep and swine there were horses and Men cattle and women pigs and children all holding the same rank in the scale of being and were all subjected to the same narrow examination Silveri headed aged and sprightly youth maids and matrons had to undergo the same indelicate inspection at this moment I saw more clearly than ever the brutalizing effects of slavery upon both slave and slave holder after the valuation then came the division I have no language to express the Hayek's meant and deep anxiety which were felt among us poor slaves during this time our fate for life was now to be decided we had no more voice in that decision than the brutes among whom we were ranked a single word from the white men was enough against all our wishes prayers and entreaties to sunder forever the dearest friends dearest kindred and strongest ties known to human beings in addition to the pain of separation there was the horrid dread of falling into the hands of master Andrew he was known to us all as being a most cruel wretch a common drunkard who had by his reckless mismanagement and profligate dissipation already wasted a large portion of his father's property we all felt that we might as well be sold at once to the Georgia traders as to pass into his hands for we knew that that would be our inevitable condition a condition held by us all in the utmost horror and dread I suffered more anxiety than most of my fellow slaves I had known what it was to be kindly treated they had known nothing of the kind they had seen little or nothing of the world they were in very deed men and women of sorrow and acquainted with grief their backs had been made familiar with the bloody lash so that they had become callous mine was yet tender for while at Baltimore I got few whippings and few slaves could boast of a kinder master and mistress than myself and the thought of passing out of their hands into those of master Andrew a man who but a few days before to give me a sample of his bloody disposition took my little brother by the throat threw him on the ground and with the heel of his boot stamped upon his head till the blood gushed from his nose and ears was well calculated to make me anxious as to my fate after he had committed this savage outrage upon my brother he turned to me and said that was the way he meant to serve me one of these days meaning I suppose when I came into his possession thanks to a kind Providence I fell to the portion of mrs. Lucretia and was sent immediately back to Baltimore to live again in the family of master Hugh their joy at my return equal to their sorrow at my departure it was a glad day to me I had escaped a worse than lion's jaw I was absent from Baltimore for the purpose of valuation and division just about one month and it seemed to have been six very soon after my return to Baltimore my mistress Lucretia died leaving her husband and one child Amanda and in a very short time after her death master Andrew died now all the property of my old master slaves included it was in the hands of strangers strangers who had had nothing to do with accumulating it not a slave was left free all remained slaves from the youngest to the oldest if any one thing in my experience more than another served to deepen my conviction of the infernal character of slavery and to fill me with unutterable loathing of slaveholders it was their base ingratitude to my poor old grandmother she had served my old master faithfully from youth to old age she had been the source of all his wealth she had peopled his plantation with slaves she had become a great-grandmother in his service she had rocked him in infancy attended him in childhood served him through life and at his death wiped from his icy brow the cold death sweat and closed his eyes forever she was nevertheless left a slave a slave for life a slave in the hands of strangers and in their hands she saw her children her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren divided like so many sheep without being gratified with the small privilege of a single word as to their or her own destiny and to cap the climax of their base ingratitude and fiendish barbarity my grandmother who was now very old having outlived my old master and all his children having seen the beginning and end of all of them and her present owners finding she was a but little value her frame already racked with the pains of old age and complete helplessness fast stealing over her once active limbs they took her to the woods built her a little Hut put up a little mud chimney and then made her welcome to the privilege of supporting herself there in perfect loneliness thus virtually turning her out to die if my poor old grandmother now the she lives to suffer in utter loneliness she lives to remember and mourn over the loss of children the loss of grandchildren and the loss of great-grandchildren they are in the language of the slaves poet would here gone gone sold and gone to the rice swamp dank and loan where the slave whips ceaseless swings were the noise and insect stings where the fever demons true is poisoned with the felling dews where the sickly sunbeams glare through the hot and Misty air gone gone sold and gone to the rice swamp tank and Londe from virginia hills and waters woe is me my stolen daughters the hearth is desolate the children the unconscious children who once sang and danced in her presence are gone she gropes her way in the darkness and age for a drink of water instead of the voices of her children she hears by day the mountains of the Dove and by night the screams of the hideous owl all is gloom the grave is at the door and now when weighed down by the pains and aches of old age when the head inclines to the feet when the beginning and ending of human existence meet and helpless infancy and painful old age combined together at this time this most needful time the time for the exercise of that tenderness and affection which children only can exercise toward a declining parent my poor old grandmother the devoted mother of 12 children is left all alone in yonder little hut before a few dim embers she stands she sits she staggers she falls she groans she dies and there are none of her children or grandchildren present to wipe from her wrinkled brow the cold sweat of death or to place beneath facade her fallen remains will not a righteous God visit for these things in about two months after the death of mrs. Lucretia master Thomas married his second wife her name was Rowena Hamilton she was the eldest daughter of mr. William Hamilton master now lived in st. Michael's long after his marriage a misunderstanding took place between himself and master Hugh and as a means of punishing his brother he took me from him to live with himself at st. Michael's here I underwent another most painful separation yet however was not so severe as the one I dreaded at the division of property for during this interval a great change had taken place in master Yu and his one's kind and affectionate wife the influence of brandy upon him and of slavery upon her had affected a disastrous change in the characters of both so that as far as they were concerned I thought I had little to lose by the change but it was not to them that I was attached it was to those little Baltimore boys that I felt the strongest attachment I had received many good lessons from them and was still receiving them and the thought of leaving them was painful indeed I was leaving too without the hope of ever being allowed to return Master Thomas had said he would never let me return again the barrier between him and brother he considered impassable I then had to regret that I did not at least make the attempt to carry out my resolution to run away for the chances of success are tenfold greater from the city than from the country I sailed from Baltimore for st. Michael's in the sloop Amanda Captain Edward Dodson on my passage I paid particular attention to the direction which the steamboat took to go to Philadelphia I found instead of going down on reaching North Point they went up to the bay in a northeasterly direction I deemed this knowledge of the utmost importance my determination to run away was again revived I resolved to wait only so long as the offering of a favorable opportunity when that came I was determined to be off chapter 9 I have now reached a period of my life what I can give dates I left Baltimore and went to live with master Thomas auld at st. Michael's in March 1832 it was now more than seven years since I lived with him in the family of my old master on Colonel Lords plantation we of course were now almost entire strangers to each other he was to me a new master I to him a new slave I was ignorant of his temper and disposition he was equally so of mine a very short time however brought us into full acquaintance with each other I was made acquainted with his wife not less than with himself they were well matched being equally mean and cruel I was now for the first time during a space of more than seven years made to feel the painful knowings of hunger or something which I had not experienced before since I left Colonel Lloyd's plantation it went hard enough with me then when I look back to no period at which I had enjoyed a sufficiency it was tenfold harder after living in master Hughes family where I had always had enough to eat and of that which was good I have said Master Thomas was a mean man he was so not to give a slave enough to eat is regarded as the most aggravated development of meanness even among slaveholders the rule is no matter how coarse the food only let there be enough of it this is the theory and in the part of Maryland from which I came it is the general practice though there are many exceptions master Thomas gave us enough of neither course nor fine food there were four slaves of us in the kitchen my sister Eliza my aunt Priscilla penny and myself and we were allowed less than a half of a bushel of corn meal per week and very little else either in the shape of meat or vegetables it was not enough for us to subsist upon we were therefore reduced to the wretched necessity of living at the expense of our neighbors this we did by begging and stealing whichever came handy in time of need the one being considered as legitimate as the other a great many times have we poor creatures been nearly perishing with hunger when food in abundance lay moldering in the safe and smokehouse and our pious mistress was aware of the fact and yet that mistress and her husband would kneel every morning and pray that God would bless them in basket and store bad as all slaveholders are we seldom meet one destitute of every element of character commanding respect my master was one of this rare sort I do not know of one single noble act at performed by him the leading trait in his character was meanness and if there were any other element in his nature it was made subject to this he was mean and like most other mean men he lacked the ability to conceal his meanness captain auld was not born a slave holder he had been a poor man master only of a bay craft he came into possession of all his slaves by marriage and of all men adopted slaveholders are the worst he was cruel but cowardly he commanded without firmness in the enforcement of his rules he was at times rigid and at times lacks at times he spoke to his slaves with the firmness of Napoleon and the fury of a demon at other times he might well be mistaken for an Enquirer who had lost his way he did nothing of himself he might have passed for a lion but for his ears in all things Noble which he attempted his own meanness shown most conspicuous his heirs words and actions were the heirs words and actions of born slaveholders and being assumed were awkward enough he was not even a good imitator he possessed all the disposition to deceive but wanted the power having no resources within himself he was compelled to be the copyist of many and being such he was forever the victim of inconsistency and of consequence he was an object of contempt and was held as such even by his slaves the luxury of having slaves of his own to wait upon him was something new and unprepared for he was a slave holder without the ability to hold slaves he found himself incapable of managing his slaves either by force fever or fraud we seldom called him master we generally called him captain auld and were hardly disposed to title him at all I doubt not that our conduct had much to do with making him appear awkward and of consequence fretful our want of reverence for him must have perplexed him greatly he wished to have us all call him master but lacked the firmness necessary to command us to do so his wife used to insist upon our calling him so but to no purpose in August 1832 - attended a Methodist camp meeting held in the Bayside Talbot County and - they're experienced religion I indulged a faint hope that his conversion would lead him to emancipate his slaves and that if he did not do this it would at any rate make him more kind and humane I was disappointed in both these respects it neither made him to be humane to his slaves nor to emancipate them if it had any effect on his character he had made him more cruel and hateful in all his ways for I believe him to have been a much worse man after his conversion than before prior to his conversion he relied upon his own depravity to shield and sustain him in his savage barbarity but after his conversion he found religious sanction and support for his slave holding cruelty he made the greatest pretensions to piety his house was the House of Prayer he prayed morning noon and night he very soon distinguished himself among his brethren and was soon made a class leader and exhort her his activity in revivals was great and he proved himself an instrument in the hands of the church in converting many souls his house was the preacher's home they used to take great pleasure in coming there to put up for while he starved us he stuffed them we have had three or four preachers there at a time the names of those who used to come most frequently while I lived there were mr. storks mr. Yuri mr. Humphrey and mr. Hickey I have also seen mr. George Cookman at our house we slaves love to mr. Cookman we believed him to be a good man we thought him instrumental in getting mr. Samuel Harrison a very rich slave holder to emancipate his slaves and by some means got the impression that he was laboring to affect the emancipation of all the slaves when he was at our house we were sure to be called into prayers when the others were there we were sometimes called in and sometimes not mr. Cookman took more notice of us than either of the other ministers he could not come among us without betraying his sympathy for us and stupid as we were we had the sagacity to see it while I lived with my master in st. Michael's there was a white young man mr. Wilson who proposed to keep a Sabbath school for the instruction of such slaves as might be disposed to learn to read the New Testament we met but three times when mr. West and mr. Fairbanks both class leaders with many others came upon us with sticks and other missiles drove us off and forbade us to meet again thus ended our little Sabbath school in the pious town of st. Michael's I have said my master found religious sanction for his cruelty as an example I will state one of many facts going to prove the charge I have seen him tie up a lame young woman and whip her with a heavy cow skin upon her naked shoulders causing the warm red blood to drip and in justification of the bloody deed he would quote this passage of Scripture he that knoweth his masters will and do with it not shall be beaten with many stripes master would keep this lacerated young woman tied up in his horrid situation four or five hours at a time I have known him to tie her up early in the morning and whip her before breakfast leave her go to his store return at dinner and whip her again cutting her in the places already made raw with his cruel lash the secret of masters cruelty toward Henny is found in the fact of her being almost helpless when quite a child she fell into the fire and burned herself horribly her hands were so burnt that she never got the use of them she could do very little but bear heavy burdens she was to master a bill of expense and as he was a mean man she was a constant offense to him he seemed desirous of getting the poor girl out of existence he gave her away once to his sister but being a poor gift she was not disposed to keep her finally my benevolent master to use his own words set her adrift to take care of herself here was a recently converted man holding on upon the mother and at the same time turning out her helpless child to starve and die master Thomas was one of the many pious slaveholders who hold slaves for the very charitable purpose of taking care of them my master and myself had quite a number of differences he found me unsuitable to his purpose my city life he said had had a very pernicious effect upon me it had almost ruined me for every good purpose and fitted me for everything which was bad one of my greatest faults was that of letting his horse run away and go down to his father-in-law's which was about five miles from st. Michael's I would then have to go after it my reason for this kind of carelessness or carefulness was that I could always get something to eat when I went there master William Hamilton my Master's father-in-law always gave his slaves enough to eat I never left they're hungry no matter how great the need of my speedy return master Thomas at length said he would stand it no longer I had lived with him nine months during which time he had given me a number of severe whippings all to no good purpose he resolved to put me out as he said to be broken and for this purpose he left me for one year to a man named Edward Covey mr. Covey was a poor man a farm renter he rented the place upon which he lived as also the lands with which he tilted mr. Covey had acquired a very high reputation for breaking young slaves and this reputation was of immense value to him it enabled him to get his farm tilled with much less expense to himself than he could have had it done without such a reputation some slaveholders thought it not much loss to allow mr. Covey to have their slaves for one year for the sake of the training to which they were subjected without any other compensation he could hire young help with great ease in consequence of this reputation added to the natural good qualities of mr. Covey he was a professor of religion a pious soul a member and a class leader in the Methodist Church all of this added weight to his reputation as a [ __ ] breaker I was aware of all the facts having been made acquainted with them by a young man who had lived there I nevertheless made the change gladly for I was sure of getting enough to eat which is not the smallest consideration to a hungry man chapter 10 I left Master Thomas's house and went to live with mr. Covey on the 1st of January 1833 I was now for the first time in my life a field hand in my new employment I found myself even more awkward than a country boy appeared to be in a large city I had been at my new home but one week before Mr Colley gave me a very severe whipping cutting my back causing the blood to run and raising ridges on my flesh as large as my little finger the details of this affair are as follows mr. Kirby sent me very early in the morning of one of our coldest days in the month of January to the woods to get a load of wood he gave me a team of unbroken oxen he told me which was the in hand ox and which was the offhand one he then tied the end of a large rope around the horns of the in hand ox and gave me the other end of it and told me if the oxen started to run that I must hold on upon the rope I had never driven oxen before and of course I was very awkward I however succeeded in getting the edge of the woods with little difficulty but I had got a few rods into the woods when the oxen took fright and started full-tilt carrying the cart against trees and over stumps in the most frightful manner I expected every moment that my brains would be dashed out against the trees after running thus for a considerable distance they finally upset the cart dashing it with great force against a tree and threw themselves into a dense thicket how I escaped death I do not know there I was entirely alone in a thick wood in a place new to me the cart was upset and shattered my oxen were entangled among the young trees and there was none to help me after a long spell of effort I succeeded in getting my cart righted my oxen disentangled and again yoked to the cart I now proceeded with my team to the place where I had the day before been chopping wood and loaded my cart pretty heavily thinking in this way to tame my oxen I've been preceded on my way home I had now consumed one half of the day I got out of the woods safely and now filled out of danger I stopped my oxen to open the woods gate and just as I did so before I could get hold of my ox rope the oxen again started rushed through the gate catching it between the wheel and the body of the cart tearing it to pieces and to coming within a few inches of crushing me against the gate post thus twice in one short day I escaped death by the merest chance on my return I told mister covey what had happened and how it happened he ordered me to return to the woods again immediately I did so and he followed on after me just as I got into the woods he came up and told me to stop my cart and that he would teach me how to trifle away my time and break gates he then went to a large gum tree and with ax-cut three large switches and after trimming them up neatly with his pocketknife he ordered me to take off my clothes I made him no answer but stood with my clothes on he repeated his order I still made him no answer nor did I move to strip myself upon this he rushed at me with a fierceness of a tiger tore off my clothes and lashed me until he had worn out his switches cutting me so savagely as to leave the marks visible for a long time this whipping was the first of a number just like it and for similar offenses I lived with mr. cubby one year during the first six months of that year scarce a week passed without his whipping me I was seldom free from a sore back my awkwardness was almost always his excuse for whipping me we were worked fully up to the point of endurance long before day we were up our horses fed and by the first approach of day we were off to the field with our hoes and plowing teams mr. Kirby gave us enough to eat but scarce time to eat it we were often less than five minutes taking our meals we were often in the field from the first approach of day till it's last lingering ray had left us and at saving fodder time midnight often caught us in the field binding blades Covey would be out with us the way he used to stand it was this he would spend the most of his afternoons in bed he would then come out fresh in the evening ready to urge us on with his words example and frequently with the whip mr. Covey was one of the few slaveholders who could and did work with his hands he was a hard-working men he knew by himself just what a man or a boy could do there was no deceiving him his work went on in his absence almost as well as in his presence and he had the Faculty of making us feel that he was ever-present with us this he did by surprising us he seldom approached the spot where we were at work openly if he could do it secretly he always aimed at taking us by surprise such was his cunning that we used to call him among ourselves the snake when we were at work in the cornfield he would sometimes crawl on his hands and knees to avoid detection and all at once he would rise nearly in our midst and scream out haha come come - on - on this being his mode of attack it was never safe to stop a single minute his comings were like a thief in the night he appeared to us as being ever at hand he was under every tree behind every stump in every bush and at every window on the plantation he would sometimes mount his horse as if bound to st. Michaels a distance of seven miles and in half an hour afterwards he would see him coiled up in the corner of the wood fence watching every motion of the slaves he would for this purpose leave his horse tied up in the woods again he would sometimes walk up to us and to give us orders as though he was upon the point of starting on a long journey turn his back upon us and make as though he was going to the house to get ready and before he would get half way thither he would turn short and crawl into a fence corner or behind some tree and there watch us till the going down of the Sun mr. Covey's Forte consisted in his power to deceive his life was devoted to planning and perpetrating the grossest deceptions everything he possessed in the shape of learning or religion he made conform to his disposition to deceive he seemed to think himself equal to deceiving the Almighty he would make a short prayer in the morning and a long prayer at night and strange as it may seem few men would at times appear more devotional than he the exercises of his family devotions were always commenced with singing and as he was a very poor singer himself the duty of raising the hymn generally came upon me he would read his hymn and not at me to commence I would at times do so at others I would not my non-compliance would almost always produce much confusion to show himself independent of me he would start and stagger through his him in the most discordant manner in this state of mind he prayed with more than ordinary spirit poor man such was his disposition and success at deceiving I do verily believe that he sometimes deceived himself into the solemn belief that he was a sincere worshipper of the Most High God and this too at a time when he may be said to have been guilty of compelling his woman slave to commit the sin of adultery the facts in the case are these mr. Cooby was a poor man he was just commencing in life he was only able to buy one slave and shocking as is the fact he bought her as he said for a breeder this woman was named Caroline mr. Cooby bought her from mr. Thomas Lowe about six miles from st. Michael's she was a large able-bodied woman about 20 years old she had already given birth to one child which proved her to be just what he wanted after buying her he hired a married man of mr. Samuel Harrison to live with him one year and him he used to fasten up with her every night the result was that at the end of the year the miserable woman gave birth to twins at this result mr. Cooby seemed to be highly pleased both with the man and the wretched woman such was his joy and that of his wife that nothing they could do for Caroline during her confinement was too good or too hard to be done the children were regarded as being quite an addition to his wealth if at any one time of my life more than another I was made to drink the bitterest dregs of slavery that time was during the first six months of my stay with mr. Covey we were worked in all weathers it was never too hot or too cold it could never rain blow hail or snow too hard for us to work in the field work work work was scarcely more the order of the day then on the night the longest days were too short for him and the shortest nights too long for him I was somewhat unmanageable when I first went there but a few months of this discipline tamed me mr. Covey succeeded in breaking me I was broken in body soul and spirit my natural elasticity was crushed my intellect languished the disposition to read departed the cheerful spark that lingered about my I died the dark night of slavery closed in upon me and to behold a man transformed into a brute Sunday was my only leisure time I spent this in a sort of beast like stupor between sleep and awake under some large tree at times I would rise up a flash of energetic freedom would dart through my soul accompanied with a faint beam of hope that flickered for a moment and then vanished I sank down again mourning over my wretched condition I was sometimes prompted to take my life and that of Covey but was prevented by a combination of hope and fear my sufferings on this plantation seemed now like a dream rather than a stern reality our house stood within a few rods of the Chesapeake Bay whose broad bosom was ever white with sails from every quarter of the habitable globe those beautiful vessels robed in purest white so delightful to the eye of freemen were to me so many shrouded ghosts to terrify and torment me with thoughts of my wretched condition I have often in the deep stillness of a summer Sabbath stood all alone upon the lofty banks of that noble Bay and traced with saddened heart and tearful eye the countless number of sails moving off to the mighty ocean the sight of these always affected me powerfully my thoughts would compel utterance and there with no audience but the Almighty I would pour out my soul's complaint in my rude way with an apostrophe to the moving multitude of ships you are loosed from your moorings and are free I am fast in my chains and I'm a slave you move merrily before the gentle Gale and i sadly before the bloody whip you are freedom's Swift winged angels that fly around the world I am confined in bands of iron oh that I were free oh that I were on one of your gallant decks and under you're protecting winged alas betwixt me and you the turbid waters roll go on go on oh that I could also go could I but swim if I could fly oh why was I born a man of home to make a brute the glad ship is gone she hides in the dim distance I am left in the hottest hell of an ending slavery Oh God save me God deliver me let me be free is there any God why am i a slave I will run away I will not stand it get caught or get clear I'll try it ahead as well die with egg you as the fever I have only one life to lose ahead as well be killed running as die standing only think of it 100 miles straight north and I am free try it God helping me I will it cannot be that I shall live and die a slave I will take the water this very beige out yet bear me into freedom the steamboats steered in a northeast course from North Point I will do the same and when I get to the head of the bay I will turn my canoe adrift and walk straight through Delaware into Pennsylvania when I get there I shall not be required to have a pass I can travel without being disturbed let but the first opportunity offer and come what will I am off meanwhile I will try to bear up under the yoke I am NOT the only slave in the world why should I fret I can bear as much as any of them besides I am but a boy and all boys are bound to someone it may be that my misery and slavery will only increase my happiness when I get free there is a better day coming thus I used to think and thus I used to speak to myself goaded almost to madness at one moment and at the next reconciling myself to my wretched lot I have already intimated that my condition was much worse during the first six months of my stay at mr. cubbies than in the last six the circumstances leading to the change in mr. cubbies course toward me form an epoch in my humble history you have seen how a man was made a slave you shall see how a slave was made a men on one of the hottest days of the month of August 1833 bill Smith William Hughes a slave named Eli and myself were engaged in fanning wheat Hughes was clearing the fan tweet from before the fan Eli was turning Smith was feeding and I was carrying wheat to the fan the work was simple requiring strength rather than intellect yet to one entirely unused to such work it came very hard about three o'clock of that day I broke down my strength failed me I was seized with a violent aching of the head attended with extreme dizziness a trembled in every limb finding what was coming i nerved myself up feeling it would never do to stop work i stood as long as i could stagger to the hopper with grain when i could stand no longer I fell and felt as if held down by an immense weight the fan of course stopped everyone had his own work to do and no one could do the work of the other and have his own go on at the same time mr. Cobb II was at the house about 100 yards from the treading yard where we were Fanning on hearing the fan stop he left immediately and came to the spot where we were he hastily inquired what the matter was bill answered that I was sick and there was no one to bring wheat to the fan I had by this time crawled away under the side of the post and rail fence by which the yard was enclosed hoping to find relief by getting out of the Sun he then asked where I was he was told by one of the hands he came to the spot and after looking at me awhile asked me what was the matter I told him as well as I could for I scarce had strength to speak he then gave me a savage kick in the side and told me to get up I tried to do so but fell back in the attempt he gave me another kick and again told me to rise i again tried and succeeded in gaining my feet but stooping to get the tub with which i was feeding the fan i again staggered and fell while down in this situation mr. cobby took up the chicory slat with which Hughes had been striking off the half bushel measure and with it gave me a heavy blow upon the head making a large wound and the blood ran freely and with this again told me to get up i made no effort to comply having now made up my mind to let him do his worst in a short time after receiving this blow my head grew better mr. curry had now left me to my fate at this moment I resolved for the first time to go to my master and her complaint and ask his protection in order to do this I must that afternoon walk seven miles and this under the circumstances was truly a severe undertaking I was exceedingly feeble made so as much by kicks and blows which I received as by the severe fit of sickness to which I had been subjected I however watched my chance while Cubbie was looking in an opposite direction and started for Saint Michael's I succeeded in getting a considerable distance on my way to the woods when Covey discovered me and called after me to come back threatening what he would do if I did not come I disregarded both his calls and his threats and made my way to the woods as fast as my feeble state would allow and thinking I might be overhauled by him if I kept the road I walked through the woods keeping far enough from the road to avoid detection and near enough to prevent losing my way I had not gone far before my little strength again failed me I could go no farther I fell down and lay for a considerable time the blood was yet using from the wound on my head for a time I thought I should bleed to death and think now that I should have done so but the blood so matted in my hair as to stop the wound after lying there about three-quarters of an hour I nerved myself up again and started on my way through bogs and briars barefooted and bareheaded tearing my feet sometimes at nearly every step and after a journey of about seven miles occupying some five hours to perform it I arrived at master's store I then presented an appearance enough to affect any but a heart of iron from the crown of my head to my feet I was covered with blood my hair was all clotted with dust and blood my shirt was stiff with blood my legs and feet were torn in sundry places with briars and thorns and were also covered with blood I suppose I looked like a man who had escaped a den of wild beasts and barely escaped them in this state I appeared before my master humbly and treating him to interpose his authority for my protection I told him all the circumstances as well as I could and it seemed as I spoke at times to effect him he would then walk the floor and seek to justify covey by saying he expected I deserved it he asked me what I wanted I told him to let me get a new home that as sure as I lived with mister covey again I should live with but to die with him that mister covey would surely kill me he was in a fairway for me master Thomas ridiculed the idea that there was any danger of mr. Cubby's killing me and said that he knew mister covey that he was a good man and that he could not think of taking me from him that should he do so he would lose the whole year's wages that I belong to mister covey for one year and that I must go back to him come what might and that I must not trouble him with any more stories or that he would himself get hold of me after threatening me thus he gave me a very large dose of salts telling me that I might remain in st. Michael's that night it being quite late but that I must be off back to mr. cubbies early in the morning and that if I did not he would get hold of me which meant that he would whip me I remained all night and according to his orders I started off to Covey's in the morning Saturday morning we read in body and broken in spirit I got no supper that night or breakfast that morning I reached Cubby's about nine o'clock and just as I was getting over the fence that divided mrs. Kemp's fields from ours outran Covey with his cow skin to give me another whipping before he could reach me I succeeded in getting to the cornfield and as the corn was very high it afforded me the means of hiding he seemed very angry and searched for me a long time my behavior was altogether unaccountable he finally gave up the chase thinking I suppose that I must come home for something to eat he would give himself no further trouble and looking for me I spent that day mostly in the woods having the alternative before me to go home and be whipped to death or stay in the woods and be starved to death that night I fell in with Sandy Jenkins a slave with whom I was somewhat acquainted sandy had a free wife who lived about four miles from mr. cubbies and it being Saturday he was on his way to see her I told him my circumstances and he very kindly invited me to go home with him I went home with him and talked this whole matter over and got his advice as to what course it was best for me to pursue I found sandy an old advisor he told me with great solemnity I must go back to cubby but that before I went I must go with him into another part of the wood where there was a certain route which if I would take some of it with me carrying it always on my right side would render it impossible for mr. cubby or any other white man to with me he said he had carried it for years and since he had done so he had never received a blow and never expected to while he carried it I had first rejected the idea that the simple carrying of a root in my pocket would have any such effect as he had said and was not disposed to take it but sandy impressed the necessity with much earnestness telling me it could do no harm if it did no good to please him I at length took the route and according to his direction carried it upon my right side this was Sunday morning I immediately started for home and upon entering the yard gate out came mr. Covey on his way to meeting he spoke to me very kindly bade me drive the pigs from a lot nearby and passed on towards the church now this singular conduct of mr. Covey really made me begin to think that there was something in the route which sandy had given me and had it been on any other day than Sunday I could have attributed the conduct to no other cause than the influence of that route and as it was I was half inclined to think the route to be something more than I had first had taken a tea all went well till Monday morning on this morning the virtue of the route was fully tested long before daylight I was called to go and rub curry and feed the horses I obeyed and was glad to obey but whilst thus engaged whilst in the act of throwing down some blades from the loft mr. Covey entered this table with a long rope and just as I was half out of the loft he caught hold of my legs and was about tying me as soon as I found what he was up to I gave a sudden spring and as I did so he holding my legs I was brought sprawling on the stable floor mr. cubby seemed now to think he had me and could do what he pleased but at this moment from whence came the spirit I don't know I resolved to fight and suiting my action to the resolution I seized kabhi hard by the throat and as I did so I rose he held on to me and I to him my resistance was so entirely unexpected that cubby seemed taken all aback he trembled like a leaf this gave me assurance and I held him uneasy causing the blood to run where I touched him with the ends of my fingers mister covey soon called out to Hughes for help he was came and while cubby held me attempted to tie my right hand while he was in the act of doing so I watched my chance and gave him a heavy kick close under the ribs this kicked fairly sickened Hughes so that he left me in the hands of mister covey this kick had the effect of not only weakening Hughes but Covey also when he saw he was bending over with pain his courage quailed he asked me if I meant to persist in my resistance I told him I did come what might that he had used me like a brute for six months and that I was determined to be used so no longer with that he strove to drag me to a stick that was lying just out of the stable door he meant to knock me down but just as he was leaning over to get the stick I seized him with both hands by his collar and brought him by a sudden snatch to the ground by this time bill came cubby called upon him for assistance bill wanted to know what he could do cubby said take hold of him take hold of him bill said his master hired him out to work and not to help to whip me so he left cubby and myself to fight our own battle we were at it for nearly two hours cubby at length let me go puffing and blowing at a great rate saying that if I had not resisted he would not have whipped me half so much the truth was that he had not whipped me at all I considered him as getting entirely the worst end of the bargain for he had drawn no blood from me but I had from him the whole six months afterward that I spent with mr. Covey he never laid the weight of his finger upon me in anger he would occasionally say he didn't want to get hold of me again no thought I you need not for you will come off worse than you did before this battle with mr. Covey was the turning point in my career as a slave it rekindled the few expiring embers of freedom and revived within me a sense of my own manhood it recalled the departed self-confidence and inspired me again with a determination to be free the gratification afforded by the triumph was a full compensation for whatever else might follow even death itself he only can understand the deep faction which I experienced who has himself repelled by force the bloody arm of slavery I felt as I never felt before it was a glorious resurrection from the tomb of slavery to the heaven of freedom my long crushed spirit rose cowardice departed bold defiance took its place and I now resolved that however long I might remain a slave in form the day had passed forever when I could be a slave in fact I did not hesitate to let it be known of me that the white man who expected to succeed in whipping must also succeed in killing me from this time I was never again what might be called fairly whipped though I remained a slave for four years afterwards I had several fights but was never whipped it was for a long time a matter of surprise to me why mr. Cooby did not immediately have me taken by the constable to the whipping post and they're regularly whipped for the crime of raising my hand against a white man in defense of myself and the only explanation I can now think of does not entirely satisfied me but such as it is I will give it mr. Covey enjoyed the most unbounded reputation for being a first-rate overseer and Negro breaker it was of considerable importance to him that reputation was at stake and had he sent me a boy about 16 years old to the public whipping post his reputation would have been lost so to save his reputation he suffered me to go unpunished my term of actual service to mr. Edward Covey ended on Christmas Day 1833 the days between Christmas and New Year's Day are allowed as holidays and accordingly we were not required to perform any labor more than to feed and take care of the stock this time we regarded as our own by the grace of our masters and we therefore used or abused it's nearly as we pleased those of us who had families at a distance were generally allowed to spend the whole six days in their society this time however was spent in various ways the stayed sober thinking and industrious ones of our number would employ themselves in making corn brooms Matt's horse collars and baskets and another class of us would spend the time in hunting opossums hares and Coons but by far the larger part engaged in such sports and the Merriman says playing ball wrestling running foot races fiddling dancing and drinking whiskey and this latter mode of spending the time was by far the most agreeable to the feelings of our masters a slave who would work during the holidays was considered by our masters as scarcely deserving them he was regarded as one who rejected the favor of his master it was deemed a disgrace not to get drunk at Christmas and he was regarded as lazy indeed who had not provided himself with the necessary means during the year to get whiskey enough to last him through Christmas from what I know of the effect of these holidays upon the slave I believed them to be among the most effective means in the hands of the slave holder in keeping down the spirit of insurrection were the slaveholders at once to abandon this practice I have not the slightest doubt it would lead to an immediate insurrection among the slaves these holidays serve as conductors or safety valves to carry off the rebellious spirit of enslaved humanity but for these the slave would be forced up to the wildest desperation and woe betide the slave holder of the day he ventures to remove or hinder the operation of those conductors I warned him that in such an event a spirit will go forth in their midst more to be dreaded than the most appalling earthquake the holidays are part and parcel of the gross fraud wrong and inhumanity of slavery they are professedly a custom established by the benevolence of the slaveholders but I undertake to say it is the result of selfishness and one of the grossest frauds committed upon the downtrodden slave they do not give the slaves this time because they would not like to have their work during its continuance but because they know it would be unsafe to deprive them of it this will be seen by the fact that the slaveholders like to have their slaves spend those days just in such a manner as to make them as glad of their ending as of their beginning their object seems to be to disgust the slaves with freedom by plunging them into the lowest depths of dissipation for instance the slaveholders not only like to see the slave drink of his own accord but we'll adopt various plans to make him drunk one plan is to make bets on their slaves as to who can drink the most whiskey without getting drunk and in this way they succeed in getting whole multitudes to drink to excess thus when the slave asks for virtuous freedom the cunning slave holder knowing his ignorant cheats him with a dose of vicious dissipation artfully labeled with the name of liberty the most of us used to drink it down and the result was just what might be supposed many of us were led to think that there was little to choose between liberty and slavery we felt and very properly to that we had almost as well be slaves to man as to rum so when the holidays ended we staggered up from the filth of our wallowing took a long breath and marched to the field feeling upon the whole rather glad to do so from what our master had deceived us into a belief was freedom back to the arms of slavery I have said that this mode of treatment is a part of the whole system of fraud and inhumanity of slavery it is so the mode here adopted to discuss to the slave with freedom by allowing him to see only the abuse of it is carried out in other things for instance a slave loves molasses he steals some his master in many cases goes off to town and buys a large quantity he returns takes his whip and commands the slave to eat the molasses until the poor fellow is made sick the very mention of it the same method is sometimes adopted to make the slaves refrain from asking for more food than their regular allowance a slave runs through his allowance and applies for more his master is enraged at him but not willing to send him off without food gives him more than is necessary and compels him to eat it within a given time then if he complains that he cannot eat it he is said to be satisfied neither full nor fasting and is whipped for being hard to please I have an abundance of such illustrations of the same principle drawn from my own observation but think the cases I have cited sufficient the practice is a very common one on the 1st of January 1834 I had left Mr curry and went to live with mr. William Freeland who lived about 3 miles from st. Michael's I soon found mr. Freeland under a different man from mr. Kavi though not rich he was what would be called an educated Southern gentleman mister covey as I have shown was a well-trained Negro breaker and slave driver the former slave holder though he was seemed to possess some regard for honor some reverence for justice and some respect for humanity the latter seemed totally insensible to all such sentiments mr. Freeland had many of the faults peculiar to slaveholders such as being very passionate and fretful but I must do him the justice to say that he was exceedingly free from those degrading biases to which mr. Cooby was constantly addicted the one was open and frank and we always knew where to find him the other was a most artful deceiver and could be understood only by such as were skillful enough to detect his cunningly devised frauds another advantage I gained in my new master was he made no pretensions to or profession of religion and this in my opinion was truly a great advantage I assert most unhesitatingly that the religion of the South is a mere covering for the most horrid crimes a justifier of the most appalling barbarity a Sanctifier of the most hateful frauds and a dark shelter under which the darkest foul lowest grossest and most infernal deeds of slaveholders find the strongest protection were I to be again reduced to the chains of slavery next to that enslavement I should regard being the slave of a religious master the greatest calamity that could befall me for of all slaveholders with whom I have ever met religious slaveholders are the worst I have ever found them the meanest and basest the most cruel and cowardly of all others it was my unhappy lot not only to belong to a religious slave holder but to live in a community of such religionists very near mr. Freeland lived the Reverend Daniel Whedon and in the same neighborhood lived the Reverend Rigby Hopkins these were members and ministers in the reformed Methodist Church mr. Whedon owned among others a woman slave whose name I had forgotten this woman's back for weeks was kept literally raw made so by the lash of this merciless religious wretch he used to hire hands his maxim was behave well or behaved it is the duty of a master occasionally to whip a slave to remind him of his masters authority such was his theory and such his practice mr. Hopkins was even worse than mr. Whedon his chief boast was his ability to manage slaves the peculiar feature of his government was that of whipping slaves in advance of deserving it he always managed to have one or more of his slaves to whip every Monday morning he did this to alarm their fears and strike terror into those who escaped his plan was to whip for the smallest offenses to prevent the commission of large ones mr. Hopkins could always find some excuse for whipping a slave it would astonish one unaccustomed to a slaveholding life to see with what wonderful ease a slave holder can find things of which to make occasion to whip a slave a mere look word or motion a mistake accident or wanted power are all matters for which a slave may be whipped at any time does a slave look dissatisfied it is said he has the devil in him and it must be whipped out does he speak loudly when spoken to by his master then he is getting high-minded and should be taken down a buttonhole lower does he forget to pull off his hat of the approach of a white person then he is wanting in reverence and should be whipped for it does he ever venture to vindicate his conduct when censured for it he needs guilty of impudence one of the greatest crimes of which a slave can be guilty does he ever venture to suggest a different mode of doing things from that pointed out by his master he is indeed presumptuous and getting above himself and nothing less than a flogging will do for him does he wild ploughing break a plow or while hoeing break a hoe it is owing to his carelessness and for it a slave must always be whipped mr. Hopkins could always find something of this sort to justify the use of the lash and he seldom failed to embrace such opportunities there was not a man in the whole county with whom the slaves who had the getting of their own home would not prefer to live rather than with this Reverend mr. Hopkins and yet there was not a man anywhere round who made higher professions of religion or was more active in revivals more attentive to the class love feast prayer and preaching meetings or more devotional in his family that prayed earlier later louder and longer than same Reverend slave-driver Wrigley Hopkins but to return to mr. Freeland and to my experience while in his employment he like mr. Covey gave us enough to eat but unlike mr. Covey he also gave a sufficient time to take our meals he worked as hard but always between sunrise and sunset he required a good deal of work to be done but gave us good tools with which to work his farm was large but he employed hands enough to work it and with ease compared with many of his neighbors my treatment while in his employment was heavenly compared with what I experienced at the hands of mr. Edward Covey mr. Freeland was himself the owner of but two slaves their names were Henry Harris and John Harris the rest of his hands he hired these consisted of myself sandy Jenkins and handy Caldwell sandy Jenkins is the same man who gave me the roots to prevent my being whipped by mr. Covey he was a clever soul we used frequently to talk about the fight with Covey and as often as we did so he would claim my success as the result of the roots which he gave me this superstition is very common among the more ignorant slaves a slave seldom dies but that his death is attributed to trickery Henry and John were quite intelligent and in a very little while after I went there I succeeded in creating in them a strong desire to learn how to read this desire soon sprang up in the others also they very soon mustered up some old spelling books and nothing would do but that I must keep a Sabbath school I agreed to do so and accordingly devoted my Sundays to teaching these my loved fellow slaves how to read neither of them knew his letters when I went there some of the slaves of the neighboring farms found what was going on and also availed themselves of this little opportunity to learn to read it was understood among all who came that there must be as little display about it as possible it was necessary to keep our religious masters at st. Michael's unacquainted with the fact that instead of spending the Sabbath in wrestling boxing and drinking whiskey we were trying to learn to read the will of God for they had much rather see us engaged in those degrading sports than to see us behaving like intellectual moral and accountable beings my blood boils as I think of the bloody manner in which Messrs Wright Fairbanks and Garrison West both class leaders in connection with many others rushed in upon us with sticks and stones and broke up our virtuous little Sabbath school at st. Michael's all calling themselves Christians humble followers of the Lord Jesus Christ but I am again digressing I held my Sabbath school at the house of a free colored man whose name I deem it imprudent to mention for though it be known it might embarrass him greatly though the crime of holding a school was committed 10 years ago ahead at one time over 40 scholars and those of the right sort ardently desiring to learn they were of all ages though mostly men and women I look back to those Sundays with an amount of pleasure not to be expressed they were great days to my soul the work of instructing my dear fellow slaves was the sweetest engagement with which I was ever blessed we loved each other and to leave them at the close of the Sabbath was a severe cross indeed when I think that these precious Souls are today shut up in the prison house of slavery my feelings overcome me and I am almost ready to ask does a righteous God govern the universe and for what does he hold the thunders in his right hand if not to smite the oppressor and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the spoiler these dear souls came not to Sabbath school because it was popular to do so nor did I teach them because it was reputable to be thus engaged every moment they spent in that school they were liable to be taken up and to given 39 lashes they came because they wished to learn their minds had been starved by their cruel masters they had been shut up in mental darkness I taught them because it was the delight of my soul to be doing something that looked like bettering the condition of my race I kept up my school nearly the whole year I lived with mr. Freeland and besides my Sabbath school I devoted three evenings in the week during the winter to teaching the slaves at home and I have the happiness to know that several of those who came to Sabbath school learned how to read and that one at least is now free through my agency the year passed off smoothly it seemed only about half as long as the year which preceded it I went through it without receiving a single blow I will give mr. Freeland the credit of being the best math I ever had till I became my own master for the ease with which I passed that year I was however somewhat indebted to the Society of my fellow slaves they were noble souls they not only possessed loving hearts but brave ones we were linked and interlinked with each other I loved them with a love stronger than anything I have experienced since it is sometimes said that we slaves do not love and confide in each other in answer to this assertion I can say I never loved any or confided in any people more than my fellow slaves and especially those with whom I lived at mr. free lands I believed we would have died for each other we never undertook to do anything of any importance without a mutual consultation we never moved separately we were one and as much so by our tempers and dispositions as by the mutual hardships to which we were necessarily subjected by our condition as slaves at the close of the year 1834 Mr Freeland again hired me of my master for the year 1835 but by this time I began to want to live upon Freeland as well as with Freeland and I was no longer content therefore to live with him or any other slave holder I began with a commencement of the year to prepare myself for a final struggle which should decide my fate one way or the other my tendency was upward I was fast approaching manhood and year after year had passed and I was still a slave these thoughts roused me I must do something I therefore resolved that 1835 should not pass without witnessing an attempt on my part to secure my Liberty but I was not willing to cherish this determination alone my fellow slaves were dear to me I was anxious to have them participate with me in this my life-giving determination I therefore though with great prudence commenced early to ascertain their views and feelings in regard to their condition and to imbue their minds with thoughts of freedom I bent myself to devising ways and means of our escape and meanwhile strove on all fitting occasions to impress them with the gross fraud and inhumanity of slavery I went first to Henry next to John then to the others I found in them all warm hearts and noble spirits they were ready to hear and to act when a feasible plan should be proposed this was what I wanted I talked to them of our watt of manhood if we submitted to our enslavement without at least one noble effort to be free we met often and consulted frequently and told our hopes and fears recounted the difficulties real and imagined which we should be called on to meet at times we were almost disposed to give up and try to content ourselves with our wretched lot at others we were firm and unbending in our determination to go whenever we suggested any plan there was shrinking the odds were fearful our path was beset with the greatest obstacles and if we succeeded in gaining the end of it our right to be free was yet questionable we were yet liable to be returned to bondage we could see no spot this side of the ocean where we could be free we knew nothing about Canada our our knowledge of the north did not extend farther than New York and to go there and be forever harassed with a frightful liability of being returned to slavery with the certainty of being treated tenfold worse than before the thought was truly a horrible one and one which it was not easy to overcome the case sometimes stood thus at every gate through which we were to pass we saw a watchman and every ferry a guard on every bridge a sentinel and in every wood of patrol we were hemmed in upon every side here were the difficulties real or imagined but good to be sought and the evil to be shunned on the one hand there stood slavery a stern reality glaring frightfully upon us its robes already crimsoned with the blood of millions and even now feasting itself greedily upon our own flesh on the other hand a way back in the dim distance under the flickering light of the North Star behind some craggy here Lord snow-covered mountain stood a doubtful freedom half frozen beckoning us to come and share its hospitality this in itself was sometimes enough to stagger us but when we permitted ourselves to survey the road we were frequently appalled upon either side we saw grim death assuming the most horrid shapes now it was starvation causing us to eat our own flesh now we were contending with the waves and were drowned now we were overtaken and torn to pieces by the fangs of the terrible bloodhound we were stung by scorpions chased by wild beasts bitten by snakes and finally after having nearly reached the desired spot after swimming rivers encountering wild beasts sleeping in the woods suffering hunger and nakedness we were overtaken by our pursuers and in our resistance we were shot dead upon the spot I say this picture sometimes appalled us and made us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we knew not of in coming to a fix to determination to run away we did more than Patrick Henry when he resolved upon liberty or death with us it was a doubtful Liberty at most and almost certain death if we failed for my part I should prefer death to hopeless bondage sandy one of our number gave up the notion but still encouraged us our company then consisted of Henry Harris John Harris henry bailey charles roberts and myself henry bailey was my uncle and belonged to my master charles married my aunt he belonged to my master's father-in-law mr. William Hamilton the plan we finally concluded upon was to get a large canoe belonging to mr. Hamilton and upon the Saturday night previous to Easter holidays paddled directly up the Chesapeake Bay on our arrival at the head of the bay a distance of 70 or 80 miles from where we lived it was our purpose to turn our canoe adrift and follow the guidance of the North Star till we got beyond the limits of Maryland our reason for taking the water route was that we were less liable to be suspected as Runaways we hoped to be regarded as fishermen whereas if we should take the land route we should be subjected to interruptions of almost every kind anyone having a white face and being so disposed could stop us and subject us to examination the week before our intended cert I wrote several protections one for each of us as well as I can remember they were in the following words to wit this is to certify that I the undersigned have given the bearer my servant full Liberty to go to Baltimore and spend the Easter holidays written with my own hand etc 1835 William Hamilton near st. Michael's in Talbot County Maryland we were not going to Baltimore but in going up the bay we went toward Baltimore and these protections were only intended to protect us while on the bay as the time drew near for our departure our anxiety became more and more intense it was truly a matter of life than death with us the strength of our determination was about to be fully tested at this time I was very active in explaining every difficulty removing every doubt dispelling every fear and inspiring all with the firmness indispensable to success in our undertaking assuring them that half was gained the instant we made the move we had talked long enough we were now ready to move if not now we never should be and if we did not intend to move now we had as well fold our arms sit down and acknowledge ourselves fit only to be slaves this none of us were prepared to acknowledge every man stood firm and at our last meeting we pledged ourselves afresh in the most solemn manner that at the time appointed we would certainly start in pursuit of freedom this was in the middle of the week at the end of which we were to be off we went as usual to our several fields of labour but with bosoms highly agitated with thoughts of our truly hazardous undertaking we tried to conceal our feelings as much as possible and I think we succeeded very well after a painful waiting the Saturday morning whose night was to witness our departure came I hailed it with joy bring what sadness it might Friday night was a sleepless one for me I probably felt more anxious than the rest because I was by common consent at the head of the whole affair the responsibility of success or failure lay heavily upon me the glory of the one and the confusion of the other were alike mine the first two hours of that morning were such as I had never experienced before and hope never to again early in the morning we went as usual to the field we were spreading manure and all at once while thus engaged I was overwhelmed with an indescribable feeling in the fullness of which I turned to sandy who was nearby I am said we are betrayed well said he that thought has this moment struck me we said no more I was never more certain of anything the horn was blown as usual and we went up from the field to the house for breakfast I went for the forum more than four want of anything to eat that morning just as I got to the house and looking out at the laid gate I saw four white men with two colored men the white men were on horseback and the colored ones were walking behind as if tied i watched them a few moments till they got up to our laying gate here they halted and tied the colored men to the gate post I was not yet certain as to what the matter was in a few moments in road mr. Hamilton with a speed to betokening great excitement he came to the door and inquired if Master William was in he was told he was at the barn mr. Hamilton without dismounting rode up to the barn with extraordinary speed in a few moments he and mr. Freeland returned to the house by this time the three constables rode up and in great haste dismounted tied their horses and met master William and mr. Hamilton returning from the barn and after talking a while they all walked up to the kitchen door there was no one in the kitchen but myself and John Henry and Sandy were up at the barn mr. Freeland put his head in at the door and called me by name saying there were some gentleman at the door who wished to see me I stepped to the door and inquired what they wanted they had once seized me and without giving me any satisfaction tied me lashing my hands closely together I insisted upon knowing what the matter was they at length said that they had learned I had been in a scrape and that I was to be examined before my master and if their information proved false I should not be hurt in a few moments they succeeded in tying John they then turned to Henry who had by this time returned and commanded him to cross his hands I won't said Henry in a firm voice indicating his readiness to meet the consequences of his refusal won't you said Tom Graham the constable no I won't said Henry in a still stronger tone with this two of the constables pulled out their shining pistols and swore by their Creator that they would make him cross his hands or kill him each cocked his pistol and with fingers on the trigger walked up to Henry saying at the same time if he did not cross his hands they would blow his damned heart out shoot me shoot me said Henry you can't kill me but once shoot shoot him be damned I won't be tied this he said in a tone of loud defiance and at the same time with emotion as quick as lightning he with one single stroke dashed the pistols from the hand of each constable as he did this all hands fell upon him and after beating him sometime they finally overpowered him and got him tied during the scuffle I managed I know not how to get my pass out and without being discovered put it into the fire we were all now tied and just as we were to leave for Eastern Jail betsy Freeland mother of William Freeland came to the door with her hands full of biscuits and divided them between Henry and John she then delivered herself of a speech to the following effect addressing herself to me she said you devil you yellow devil it was you that put it into the heads of Henry and John to run away but for you you long-legged mulatto devil henry nor john would never have thought of such a thing i made no reply and was immediately hurried off towards st. michael's just a moment previous to the scuffle with henry mr. hamilton suggested the propriety of making a search for the protections which he had understood frederick had written for himself and the rest but just at the moment he was about carrying his proposal into effect his aid was needed in helping to tie henry and the excitement attending the scuffle caused them either to forget or to deem it unsafe under the circumstances to search so we were not yet convicted of the intention to run away when we got about halfway to st. michael's while the constables having us in charge were looking ahead henry inquired of me what he should do with his pass I told him to eat it with his biscuit and own nothing and we passed the word around own nothing and owned nothing said we all our confidence in each other was unshaken we were resolved to succeed or fail together after the calamity had befallen us as much as before we were now prepared for anything we were to be dragged to that morning 15 miles behind horses and then to be placed in the Easton jail when we reached st. Michael's we underwent a sort of examination we all denied that we had ever intended to run away we did this more to bring out the evidence against us than from any hope of getting clear of being sold for as I have said that we were ready for that the fact was we cared but little where we went so we went together our greatest concern was about separation we dreaded that more than anything this side of death we found the evidence against us to be the testimony of one person our master would not tell who it was but we came to a unanimous decision among ourselves as to who their informant was we were sent off to the jail at Easton when we got there we were delivered up to the sheriff mr. Joseph Graham and by him placed in jail Henry John and myself were placed in one room together Charles and Henry Bailey in another their object in separating us was to hinder concert we had been in jail scarcely 20 minutes when a swarm of slave traders and agents for slave traders flocked into jail to look at us and to ascertain if we were for sale such a set of beings I never saw before I felt myself surrounded by so many fiends from perdition a band of pirates never looked more like their father the devil they laughed and grinned over us saying ah my boys we have got you haven't we and after taunting us in various ways they one by one went into an examination of us with intent to ascertain our value they would impudently asked if we would not like to have them for our masters we would make them no answer and leave them to find out his best that could then they would curse and swear at us telling us that they could take the devil out of us in a very little while if we were only in their hands while in jail we found ourselves in much more comfortable quarters than we expected when we went there we did not get much to eat though that which was very good but we had a good clean room from the windows of which we could see what was going on in the street which was very much better than though we had been placed in one of the dark damp cells upon the whole we got along very well so far as the jail and its keeper were concerned immediately after the holidays were over contrary to all our expectations mr. Hamilton and mr. Freeland came up to Easton and took Charles the two Henry's and John out of jail and carried them home leaving me alone I regarded this separation as a final one it caused me more pain than anything else in the whole transaction I was ready for anything rather than separation I supposed that they had consulted together and he decided that as I was the whole cause of the intention of the others to run away it was hard to make the innocent suffer with the guilty and that they had therefore concluded to take the others home and sell me as a warning to the others that remained it is due to the noble Henry to say he seemed almost as reluctant at leaving the prison as at leading home to come to the prison but we knew we should in all probability be separated if we were sold and since he was in their hands he concluded to go peaceably home I was now left to my fate I was all alone and within the walls of a stone prison but a few days before and I was full of hope I expected to have been safe in a land of freedom but now I was covered with gloom sunk down to the utmost despair I thought the possibility of freedom was gone I was kept in this way about one week at the end of which kept an old my mastered to my surprise and utter astonishment came up and took me out with the intention of sending me with a gentleman of his acquaintance into Alabama but from some cause or other he did not send me to Alabama but concluded to send me back to Baltimore to live again with his brother Hugh and to learn a trade thus after an absence of three years and one month I was once more permitted to return to my old home at Baltimore my master sent me away because there existed against me a very great prejudice in the community and he feared I might be killed in a few weeks after I went to Baltimore Master Hugh hired me to mr. William Gardner and extensive ship builder on Fells Point I was put there to learn how to caulk it's however proved a very unfavorable place for the accomplishment of this object mr. Gardner was engaged that spring and building to large men of war Briggs professedly for the Mexican government the vessels were to be launched in the July of that year and in failure thereof mr. Gardner was to lose a considerable sum so that when I entered all was hurry there was no time to learn anything every man had to do that which he knew how to do in entering the shipyard my orders from captain Gardner were to do whatever the Carpenters commanded me to do this was placing me at the beck and call of about 75 men I was to regard all these as masters their word was to be my law my situation was a most trying one at times I needed a dozen pair of I was called a dozen ways in the space of a single minute three or four voices would strike my ear at the same time it was Fred come help me - can't this dimmer here Fred come carry this timber yonder Fred bring that roller here Fred go get a fresh can of water Fred come help me sawed off the end of this timber Fred go quick and get the crowbar Fred hold on to the end of this fall Fred go to the blacksmith shop and get a new punch hurrah Fred run and bring me a cold chisel I say Fred to bear a hand and get up a fire as quick as lightning under that steam box hellooo [ __ ] come turn this grindstone come come move move and boughs this timber forward I say [ __ ] blast your eyes why don't you heat up some pitch helloo helloo helloo three voices at the same time come here go there hold on where you are damn you if you move I'll knock your brains out this was my school for eight months and I might have remained there longer but for a most horrid fight I had with four of the white apprentices in which my left eye was nearly knocked out and I was horribly mangled in other respect the facts in this case were these until a very little while after I went there white and black ship carpenters worked side by side and no one seemed to see any impropriety in it all hand seemed to be very well satisfied many of the black carpenters were freemen things seemed to be going on very well all at once the white carpenters knocked off and said they would not work with free colored workmen their reason for this as alleged was that if free colored carpenters were encouraged they would soon take the trade into their own hands and poor white men would be thrown out of employment they therefore felt called upon at once to put a stop to it and to taking advantage of mr. Gardner's necessities they broke off swearing they would work no longer unless he would discharge his black carpenters now though this did not extend to me in form it did reach me in fact my fellow apprentices very soon began to feel it degrading to them to work with me they began to put on airs and to talk about [ __ ] taking the country saying we all ought to be killed and being encouraged by the journeyman they commenced making my condition as hard as they could by hectoring me around and sometimes striking me I of course kept the vow I made after the fight with mr. Covey struck back again regardless of consequences and while I kept them from combining I succeeded very well for I can whip the whole of them taking them separately they however at length combined and came upon me armed with sticks stones and heavy hand spikes one came in front with a half brick there was one on each side of me and one behind me while I was attending to those in front and on either side the one behind ran up with a handspike and struck me a heavy blow upon the head it stunned me I fell and with this they all ran upon me and fell to beating me with their fists I let them lay on for a while gathering strength in an instant I gave a sudden surge and rose to my hands and knees just as I did that one of their number gave me with his heavy boot a powerful kick in the left eye my eyeball seemed to have burst when they saw my eye closed and badly swollen they left me with this I seized the hand spike and for a time pursued them but here the carpenters interfered and I thought I might as well give it up it was impossible to stand my hand against so many all this took place in sight of not less than fifty white ship carpenters and not one interposed a friendly word but some cried kill the damned [ __ ] killin kill him he struck a white person I found my only chance for life was in flight I succeeded in getting away without an additional blow and barely so for to strike a white man is death by Lynch law and that was the law in mr. Gardner's shipyard nor is there much of any other out of mr. Gardner's shipyard I went directly home and told the story of my wrongs to master Hugh and I'm happy to say of him it religious as he was his conduct was heavenly compared with that of his brother Thomas under similar circumstances he listened attentively to my narration of the circumstances leading to the savage outrage and gave many proofs of his strong indignation at it the heart of my once over kind mistress was again melted into pity my puffed out eye and blood covered face moved her to tears she took a chair by me washed the blood from my face and with a mother's tenderness bound up my head covering the wounded eye with a lean piece of fresh beef it was almost compensation for my suffer to witness once more a manifestation of kindness from this my once affectionate old mystery master Hugh was very much enraged he gave expression to his feelings by pouring out curses upon the heads of those who did the deed as soon as I got a little the better of my bruises he took me with him to Esquire Watson's on Bond Street to see what could be done about the matter mr. Watson inquired who saw the assaults committed master Hugh told him it was done in mr. Gartner shipyard at midday where there were a large company of men at work as to that he said the deed was done and there was no question as to who did it his answer was he could do nothing in the case unless some white man would come forward and testify he could issue no warrant on my word if I had been killed in the presence of a thousand colored people their testimony combined would have been insufficient to have arrested one of the murderers master Hugh for once was compelled to say this state of things was too bad of course it was impossible to get any white man to volunteer his testimony in my behalf and against the white young men even those who may have sympathized with me were not prepared to do this it required a degree of courage unknown to them to do so for just at that time the slightest manifestation of humanity toward a colored person was denounced as abolitionism and that name subjected its bearer to frightful liabilities the watchwords of the bloody-minded in that region and in those days were damned the abolitionists and Damned the [ __ ] there was nothing done and probably nothing would have been done if I had been killed such was and such remains the state of things in the Christian city of Baltimore Master Hugh finding he could get no redress refused to let me go back again to mr. Gardner he kept me himself and his wife dressed my wound till I was again restored to health he then took me into the shipyard of which he was Foreman in the employment of mr. Walter price there I was immediately set to caulking and very soon I learned the art of using my mallet and irons in the course of one year from the time I left mr. Gardiner's I was able to command the highest wages given to the most experienced cockers I was now of some importance to my master I was bringing him from six to seven dollars per week I sometimes brought him nine dollars per week my wages were a dollar and a half a day after learning how to caulk I made my own employment made my own contracts and collected the money which I earned my pathway became much more smooth than before my condition was now much more comfortable when I could get no caulking to do I did nothing during these leisure times those old notions about freedom would steel over me again when in mr. Gardner's employment I was kept in such a perpetual world of excitement I could think of nothing scarcely but my life and in thinking of my life I almost forgot my Liberty I have observed this in my experience of slavery that whenever my condition was improved instead of its increasing my contentment it only increased my desire to be free and set me to thinking of plans to gain my freedom I have found that to make a contented slave it is necessary to make a less one it is necessary to darken his moral and mental vision and as far as possible to annihilate the power of reason he must be able to detect no inconsistencies in slavery he must be made to feel that slavery is right and he can be brought to that only when he ceases to be a man I was now getting as I have said one dollar and fifty cents per day I contracted for it I earned it it was paid to me it was rightfully my own yet upon each returning Saturday nights I was compelled to deliver every cent of that money to master you and why not because he earned it not because he had any hand in earning it not because I owed it to him nor because he possessed the slightest shadow of a right to it but solely because he had the power to compel me to give it up the right of the grim-visaged pirate upon the high seas is exactly the same chapter 11 I now come to that part of my life during which I planned and finally succeeded in making my escape from slavery but before narrating any of the peculiar circumstances I deem it proper to make known my intention not to state all the facts connected with the transaction my reasons for pursuing this course he understood from the following first were I to give a minut statement of all the facts it is not only possible but quite probable that others would thereby be involved in the most embarrassing difficulties secondly such a statement would most undoubtedly induce greater vigilance on the part of slaveholders than has existed heretofore among them which would of course be the means of guarding a door whereby some dear brother bondman might escape his calling chains I deeply regret the necessity that impels me to suppress anything of importance connected with my experience in slavery it would afford me a great pleasure indeed as well as materially add to the interest of my narrative were i at liberty to gratify a curiosity which i know exists in the minds of many by an accurate statement of all the facts pertaining to my most fortunate escape but I must deprive myself of this pleasure and the curious of the gratification which such a statement would afford I would allow myself to suffer under the greatest imputations which evil minded men might suggest rather than exculpate to myself and therefore run the hazard of closing the slightest Avenue by which a brother slave might clear himself of the chains and fetters of slavery I have never approved of the very public manner in which some of our Western friends have conducted what they called the Underground Railroad but which I think by their open declarations has been made most emphatically the upper ground railroad I honor those good men and women for their noble daring and applaud them for willingly subjecting themselves to bloody persecution by openly avowing their participation in the escape of slaves I however can see very little good resulting from such a course either to themselves or the slaves escaping while upon the other hand I see and feel assured that those open declarations are a positive evil to the slaves remaining who are seeking to escape they do nothing towards enlightening the slave whilst they do much towards enlightening the master they stimulate him to greater watchfulness and enhance his power to capture his slave we owe something to the slave south of the line as well as to those north of it and in aiding the latter on their way to freedom we should be careful to do nothing which would be likely to hinder the former from escaping from slavery I would keep the merciless slave they're profoundly ignorant of the means of flight adopted by the slave I would leave him to imagine himself surrounded by myriads of invisible tormentors ever ready to snatch from his infernal grasp his trembling prey let him be left to feel his way in the dark let darkness commensurate with his crime hover over him and let him feel that at every step he takes in pursuit of the flying bondman he is running the frightful risk of having his hot brains dashed out by an invisible agency let us render the tyrant no heed let us not hold the light by which he can trace the footprints of our flying brother but enough of this I will now proceed to the statement of those facts connected with my escape for which I am alone responsible and for which no one can be made to suffer but myself in the early part of the year 1838 I became quite Restless I could see no reason why I should at the end of each week pour the reward of my toil into the purse of my master when I carried to him my weekly wages he would after counting the money look me in the face with a robber like fierceness and ask is this all he was satisfied with nothing less than the last cent he would however when I made him $6.00 sometimes give me six cents to encourage me it had the opposite effect I regarded it as a sort of admission of my right to the whole the fact that he gave me any part of my wages was proof to my mind that he believed me entitled to the whole of them I always felt worse for having received anything for I feared that the giving me a few cents would ease his conscience and make him feel himself to be a pretty honorable sort of robber my discontent grew upon me I was ever on the lookout for means of escape and finding no direct means I determined to try to hire my time with a view of getting money with which to make my escape in the spring of 1838 when Master Thomas came to Baltimore to purchase his spring goods I got an opportunity and applied to him to allow me to hire my time he unhesitatingly refused my request and told me this was another stratagem by which to escape he told me I could go nowhere but that he could get me and that in the event of my running away he should spare no pains in his efforts to catch me he exhorted me to content myself and to be obedient he told me if I would be happy I must lay out no plans for the future he said if I behaved myself properly he would take care of me indeed he advised me to complete thoughtlessness of the future and taught me to depend solely upon him for happiness he seemed to see fully the pressing necessity of setting aside my intellectual nature in order to contentment in slavery but in spite of him and even in spite of myself I continued to think and to think about the injustice of my enslavement and the means of escape about two months after this I applied to Master Hugh for the privilege of hiring my time it was not acquainted with the fact that I had applied to Master Thomas and had been refused he too at first seemed disposed to refuse but after some reflection he granted me the privilege and proposed the following terms I was to be allowed all my time make all contracts with those for whom I worked and find my own employment and in return for this Liberty I was to pay him three dollars at the end of each week find myself in caulking tools and in board and clothing my board was two dollars and a half per week this with the wear and tear of clothing and caulking tools made my regular expenses about six dollars per week this amount I was compelled to make up or relinquish the privilege of hiring my time rain or shine work or no work at the end of each week the money must be forthcoming or I must give up my privilege this arrangement it will be perceived was decidedly in my Master's favor it relieved him of all need of looking after me his money was sure he received all the benefits of slaveholding without its evils while I endured all the evils of a slave and suffered all the care and anxiety of a free man I found it a hard bargain but hard as it was I thought it better than the old mode of getting along it was a step towards freedom to be allowed to bear the responsibilities of a free man and I was determined to hold on upon it I bent myself to the work of making money I was ready to work at night as well as day and by the most untiring perseverance and Industry I made enough to meet my expenses and lay up a little money every week I went on thus from May till August Master Hugh then refused to allow to hire my time longer the ground for his refusal was a failure on my part one Saturday night to pay him for my weeks time this failure was occasioned by my attending a camp meeting about 10 miles from Baltimore during the week I had entered into an engagement with a number of young friends to start from Baltimore to the campground early Saturday evening and being detained by my employer I was unable to get down to master Hughes without disappointing the company I knew that Master Hugh was in no special need of the money that night I therefore decided to go to camp meeting and upon my return pay him the $3.00 I stayed at the camp meeting one day longer than I intended when I left but as soon as I returned I called upon him to pay him what he considered his due I found him very angry he could scarce restrain his wrath he said he had a great mind to give me a severe whipping he wished to know how I dared to go out of the city without asking his permission I told him I hired my time and while I paid him the price which he asked for it I did not know that I was bound to ask him when and where I should go this replied troubled him and after reflecting a few moments he turned to me and said I should hire my time no longer now the next thing he should know of I would be running away upon the same plea he told me to bring my tools and clothing home forthwith I did so but instead of seeking work as I had been accustomed to do previously to hiring my time I spent the whole week without the performance of a single stroke of work I did this in retaliation Saturday night he called upon me as usual for my weeks wages I told him I had no wages I had done no work that week here we were upon the point of coming to blows he raved and swore his determination to get hold of me I did not allow myself a single word but was resolved if he laid the weight of his hand upon me it should be blow for blow he did not strike me but told me that he would find me in constant employment in future I thought the matter over during the next day Sunday and finally resolved upon the third day of September as the day upon which I would make a second attempt to secure my freedom I now had three weeks during which to prepare for my journey early on Monday morning before master Hugh had time to make any engagement for me I went out and got employment of mr. her at his shipyard near the drawbridge upon what is called the city block thus making it unnecessary for him to seek employment for me at the end of the week I brought him between eight and nine dollars he seemed very well pleased and asked why I did not do the same the week before he didn't knew what my plans were my object in working steadily was to remove any suspicion he might entertain of my intent to run away and in this I succeeded admirably I suppose he thought I was never better satisfied with my condition and at the very time during which I was planning my escape the second week passed and again I carried him my full wages and so well pleased was he that he gave me 25 cents quite a large sum for a slaveholder to give a slave and bade me to make a good use of it I told him I would things went on without very smoothly indeed but within there was trouble it is impossible for me to describe my feelings as the time of my contemplated start drew near I had a number of warm-hearted friends in Baltimore friends that I loved almost as I did my life and the thought of being separated from them forever was painful beyond expression it is my opinion that thousands would escape from slavery who now remain but for the strong cords of affection that bind them to their friends the thought of leaving my friends was decidedly the most painful thought with which I had to contend the love of them was my tender point and shook my decision more than all things else besides the pain of separation the dread and apprehension of a failure exceeded what I had experienced at my first attempt the appalling defeat I then sustained returned to torment me I felt assured that if I failed in this attempt my case would be a hopeless one it would seal my fate as a slave forever I could not hope to get off with anything less than the silliest punishment and being placed beyond the means of escape it required no very vivid imagination to depict the most frightful scenes through which I should have to pass in case I failed the wretchedness of slavery and the blessedness of freedom were perpetually before me it was life and death with me but I remained firm and according to my resolution on the third day of September 1838 - my chains and succeeded in reaching New York without the slightest interruption of any kind how I did so which means I adopted what direction I traveled and by what mode of conveyance I must leave unexplained for the reasons before mentioned I have been frequently asked how I felt when I found myself in a free state I have never been able to answer the question with any satisfaction to myself it was a moment of the highest excitement I ever experienced I suppose I felt as one may imagine the unarmed Mariner to feel when he is rescued by a friendly man of war from the pursuit of a pirate in writing to a dear friend immediately after my arrival at New York I said I felt like one who had escaped a den of hungry lions the state of mind however very soon subsided and I was again seized with a feeling of great insecurity and loneliness I was yet liable to be taken back and subjected to all the tortures of slavery this in itself was enough to damp the ardor of my enthusiasm but the loneliness overcame me there I was in the midst of thousands and yet a perfect stranger without home and without friends in the midst of thousands of my own brethren children of a common father and yet I dared not to unfold to any of them my sad condition I was afraid to speak to anyone for fear of speaking to the wrong one and thereby falling into the hands of money loving kidnappers whose business it was to lie in wait for the panting fugitive as the ferocious beasts of the forest lie in wait for their prey the Mata which I adopted when I started from slavery was this trust no man I saw in every white man an enemy and in almost every colored man cause for distrust it was a most painful situation and to understand it one must needs experience it or imagine himself in similar circumstances let him be a fugitive slave in a strange land a land given up to be the hunting ground for slaveholders whose inhabitants are legalized kidnappers where he is in every moment subjected to the terrible liability of being seized upon by his fellow men as the hideous crocodile seizes upon his prey I said let him place himself in my situation without home or friends without money or credit wanting shelter no one to give it wanting bread and no money to buy it and at the same time let him feel that he is pursued by merciless men hunters and in total darkness as to what to do where to go or where to stay perfectly helpless both as to the means of defense and means of escape in the midst of Plenty yet suffering the terrible knowings of hunger in the midst of houses yet having no home among fellow men yet feeling as if in the midst of wild beasts whose greediness to swallow up the trembling and half famished fugitive is only equalled by that with which the monsters of the deep swallow up the helpless fish upon which they subsist I say it let him be placed in this most trying situation the situation in which I was placed then and not till then will he fully appreciate the hardships of and know how to sympathize with the toil worn and whipped scarred fugitive slave thank heaven I remained but a short time in this distressed situation I was relieved from it by the humane hand of mr. David Ruggles whose vigilance kindness and perseverance I shall never forget I am glad of an opportunity to express as far as words can the love and gratitude I bear him mr. Ruggles is now afflicted with blindness and is himself in need of the same kind offices which he was once so forward in the performance of toward others I had been in New York but a few days when mr. Ruggles sought me out and very kindly took me to his boardinghouse at the corner of church and les Pinard streets mr. Ruggles was then very deeply engaged in the memorable dark case as well as attending to a number of other fugitive slaves devising ways and means for their successful escape and though watched and hemmed in on almost every side he seemed to be more than a match for his enemies very soon after I went to mr. Ruggles he wished to know of me where I wanted to go as he deemed it unsafe for me to remain in New York I told him I was a conquer and should like to go where I could get work I thought of going to Canada but he decided against it and in favour of my going to New Bedford thinking I should be able to get work there at my trade at this time Anna my intended wife came on for I wrote to her immediately after my arrival New York notwithstanding my homeless houseless and helpless condition informing her of my successful flight and wishing her to come on forthwith she was free in a few days after her arrival mr. Ruggles called in the Reverend jwc Pennington who in the presence of mr. Ruggles mrs. Michaels and two or three others performed the marriage ceremony and gave us a certificate of which the following is an exact copy this may certify that I joined together in holy matrimony Frederic Johnson and anna-marie as man and wife in the presence of mr. David Ruggles and mrs. Michael's James WC Pennington New York September 15 1838 I had changed my name from Frederick Bailey to that of Johnson upon receiving the certificate and a $5 bill from mr. Ruggles I shouldered one part of our baggage and Anna took up the other and we set out forthwith to take passage on board of the steamboat John W Richmond for Newport on our way to New Bedford mr. Ruggles gave me a letter to a mr. Shaw in Newport and told me in case my money did not serve me to New Bedford to stop in Newport and obtain further assistance but upon our arrival at Newport we were so anxious to get to a place of safety that notwithstanding we lacked the necessary money to pay our fair we decided to take seats in the stage and promised to pay when we got to New Bedford we were encouraged to do this by two excellent gentlemen residents of New Bedford whose names I afterward ascertained to be Joseph Richardson and William C Tabor they seemed at once to understand our circumstances and gave us such assurance of their friendliness has put us fully at ease in their presence it was good indeed to meet with such friends at such a time upon reaching New Bedford we were directed to the house of mr. Nathan Johnson by whom we were kindly received and hospitably provided for both mr. and mrs. Johnson took a deep and lively interest in our welfare they proved themselves quite worthy of the name of abolitionists when the stage driver found us unable to pay our affair he held on upon our baggage as security for the debt I had but to mention the fact to mr. Johnson and he forthwith advanced the money we now began to feel a degree of safety to prepare ourselves for the duties and responsibilities of a life of freedom on the morning after our arrival at New Bedford while at the breakfast table the question arose as to what name I should be called by the name given me by my mother was Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey I however had dispensed with the two middle names long before I left Maryland so that I was generally known by the name of Frederick Bailey I started from Baltimore bearing the name of Stanley when I got to New York I again changed my name to Frederick Johnson and thought that would be the last change but when I got to New Bedford I found it necessary again to change my name the reason of this necessity was that there were so many Johnsons in New Bedford it was already quite difficult to distinguish between them I gave mr. Johnson the privilege of choosing me a name but told him he must not take from me the name of Frederick I must hold on to that to preserve a sense of my identity mr. Johnson had just been reading the Lady of the lake and at once suggested that my name be Douglass from that time until now I have been called Frederick Douglass and as I am more widely known by that name than by either of the others I shall continue to use it as my own I was quite disappointed at the general appearance of things in New Bedford the impression which I had received respecting the character and condition of the people of the north I found to be singularly erroneous I had very strangely supposed while in slavery that few of the comforts and scarcely any of the luxuries of life were enjoyed at the North compared with what were enjoyed by the slaveholders of the South I probably came to this conclusion from the fact that the northern people owned no slaves I supposed that they were about upon a level with a non-slaveholding population of the South I knew they were exceedingly poor and I had been accustomed to regard their poverty as the necessary consequence of their being non slaveholders I had somehow imbibed the opinion that in the absence of slaves there could be no wealth and a very little refinement and upon coming to the north I expected to meet with a tough hard handed and uncultivated population living in the most Spartan like simplicity knowing nothing of the ease luxury pomp and grandeur of southern slaveholders such being my conjectures anyone acquainted with the appearance of new bedford may very readily and for how palpably i must have seen my mistake in the afternoon of the day when I reached New Bedford I visited the wharves to take a view of the shipping here I found myself surrounded with the strongest proofs of wealth lying at the wharves and riding in the stream I saw many ships of the finest model and in the best order and of the largest size upon the right and left I was walled in by granite warehouses of the widest dimensions stowed to their utmost capacity with the necessaries and comforts of life added to this almost everybody seemed to be at work but noiselessly so compared with what I had been accustomed to in Baltimore there were no loud songs heard from those engaged in loading and unloading ships I heard no deep olds or horrid curses of the laborer I saw no whipping of men but all seemed to go smoothly on every man appeared to understand his work and went at it with a sober yet cheerful earnestness which betokened to the deep interest which he felt in what he was doing as well as a sense of his own dignity as a man to me this looked exceedingly strange from the wharves I strolled around and over the town gazing with wonder and admiration at the splendid churches beautiful dwellings and finely cultivated gardens evincing an amount of wealth comfort taste and refinement such as I had never seen in any part of slaveholding Maryland everything looked clean new and beautiful I saw a few or no dilapidated houses with poverty-stricken inmates no half-naked children and barefooted women such as I had been accustomed to see in hillsboro Easton st. Michael's and Baltimore the people looked more able stronger healthier and happier than those of Maryland I was for once made glad by a view of extreme wealth without being saddened by seeing extreme poverty but the most astonishing as well as the most interesting thing to me was the condition of the colored people a great many of whom like myself had escaped thither as a refuge from the hunters of men I found a many who had not been seven years out of their chains living in finer houses and evidently enjoying more of the comforts of life the average slaveholders in Maryland I will venture to assert that my friend mr. Nathan Johnson of whom I can say with a grateful heart I was hungry and he gave me meat I was thirsty and he gave me drink I was a stranger and he took me in lived in an eater house dined at a better table took paid for and read more newspapers better understood the moral religious and political character of the nation than nine-tenths of the slaveholders in Talbot County Maryland yet mr. Johnson was a working man his hands were hardened by toil and not his alone but those also of mrs. Johnson I found the colored people much more spirited than I had supposed they would be I found among them a determination to protect each other from the bloodthirsty kidnapper at All Hazards soon after my arrival I was told of a circumstance which Illustrated their spirit a colored man and a fugitive slave were on unfriendly terms the former was heard to threaten the latter with informing his master of his whereabouts straightway a meeting was called among the colored people under the stereotype to notice business of importance the betrayer was invited to attend the people came at the appointed hour and organized the meeting by appointing a very religious old gentleman as president who I believe made a prayer after which he addressed to the meeting as follows friends we have got him here and I would recommend that you young men just take him outside the door and kill him with this a number of them bolted at him but they were intercepted by some more timid than themselves and the betrayer escaped their vengeance and has not been seen in New Bedford since I believe there had been no more such threats and should there be Hereafter I doubt not that death would be the consequence I found employment the third day after my arrival in stowing a sloop with a load of coal it was new dirty and hard work for me but I went at it with a glad heart and a willing hand I was now my own master it was a happy moment the rapture of which can be understood only by those who have been slaves it was the first work the reward of which was to be entirely my own there was no master Hugh was standing ready the moment I earned the money to rob me of it I worked that day with a pleasure I had never for experienced I was at work for myself and newly married wife it was to me the starting point of a new existence when I got through with that job I went and pursued him a job of caulking but such was the strength of prejudice against color among the white cockers that they refused to work with me and of course I could get no employment I am told that colored persons can now get employment at caulking and New Bedford a result of anti-slavery effort finding my trade of no immediate benefits I threw off my caulking habiliments and prepared myself to do any kind of work I could get to do mr. Johnson kindly let me have his wood horse and saw and I very soon found myself a plenty of work there was no work too hard none too dirty I was ready to saw wood shovel coal carry wood sweep the chimney or roll oil casks all of which I did for nearly three years in New Bedford before I became known to the anti-slavery world in about four months after I went to New Bedford there came a young man to me and inquired if I did not wish to take the Liberator I told him I did but just having made my escape from slavery I remarked that I was unable to pay for it then I however finally became a subscriber to it the paper came and I read it from week to week with such feelings as it would be quite idle for me to attempt to describe the paper became my meat and my drink my soul was set all on fire its sympathy for my brethren in bonds its scathing denunciation of slaveholders its faithful exposures of slavery and its powerful attacks upon the upholders of the institution sent a thrill of joy through my soul such as I had never felt before I had not long been a reader of The Liberator before I got a pretty correct idea of the principles measures and spirit of the anti-slavery reform I took right hold of the cause I could do but little but what I could and I did with a joyful heart and never felt happier than when in an anti-slavery meeting I seldom had much to say at the meetings because what I wanted to say was said so much better by others but while attending an anti-slavery convention at Nantucket on the 11th of August 1841 I felt strongly move to speak and was at the same time much urged to do so by mr. William C coffin a gentleman who had heard me speak in the colored people's meeting and do Bedford it was a severe cross and I took it up reluctantly the truth was I felt myself a slave and the idea of speaking to white people weighed me down I spoke but a few moments when I felt a degree of freedom and said what I desired with considerable ease from that time until now I have been engaged in pleading the cause of my brethren with what success and with what devotion I leave those acquainted with my favors to decide appendix I find since reading over the foregoing narrative that I have in several instances spoken in such a tone and manner respecting religion as may possibly lead those unacquainted with my religious views to suppose one an opponent of all religion to remove the liability of such misapprehension I deem it proper to append the following brief explanation what I have said respecting and against religion I mean strictly to apply to the slaveholding religion of this land and with no possible reference to Christianity proper form between the christianity of this land and the Christianity of Christ I recognized the widest possible difference so wide that to receive the one as good pure and holy is of necessity to reject the other as bad corrupt and wicked to be the friend of the one is of necessity to be the enemy of the other I'd love the pure peaceable and impartial Christianity of Christ I therefore hate the corrupt slaveholding women whipping cradle plundering partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land indeed I can see no reason but the most deceitful one for calling the religion of this land Christianity I look upon it as the climax of all misnomers the boldest of all frauds and the grossest of all libels never was there a clearer case of stealing in the livery of the court of heaven to serve the devil in i am filled with unutterable loathing when i contemplate the religious pomp and show together with the horrible inconsistencies which everywhere surround me we have men's dealers for ministers women whippers for mich Aries and Cradle plunderers for church members the man who wields the blood clotted cow skin during the week fills the pulpit on Sunday and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus the man who robs me of my earnings at the end of each week meets me as a class leader on Sunday morning to show me the way of life and the path of salvation he who sells my sister for the purposes of prostitution stands forth as the pious advocate of purity he who proclaims that a religious duty to read the Bible denies me the right of learning to read the name of the God who made me he who is the religious advocate of marriage Rob's a whole millions of its sacred influence and leaves them to the ravages of wholesale pollution the warm defender of the sacredness of the family relation is the same that scatters whole families sundering husbands and wives parents and children sisters and brothers leaving the hut vacant and the hearth desolate we see the thief preaching against theft and the adulterer against adultery we have men sold to build churches and women sold to support the gospel and babes sold to purchase Bibles for the poor heathen all for the glory of God and the good of souls the slave auction errs bail and the church-going bell chimed in with each other and the bitter cries of the heartbroken slave are drowned in the religious shouts of his pious master revivals of religion and revivals in the slave trade to go hand in hand together the slave prison and the church stand near each other the clanking of fetters and the rattling of chains in the prison and the pious Psalm and solemn prayer in the church may be heard at the same time the dealers in the bodies and souls of men they wrecked their stand in the presence of the pulpit and they mutually help each other the dealer gives his blood-stained gold to support the pulpit and the pulpit in return covers his infernal business with the garb of Christianity here we have religion and robbery the allies of each other Devils dressed in angels robes and hell presenting the semblance of paradise just God and these are they who minister at thine altar God of right men who their hands with prayer and blessing lay on Israel's Ark of light what reach and kidnap men give thanks and robbed I own afflicted poor talk of a glorious Liberty and then bolt heard the captives door what servants of thy own merciful son who came to seek and save the homeless and the outcasts fettering down the tasked and plundered slave Pilate and Herod friends chief priests and rulers as a bold combined just God and holy is that church which lends strength to the spoiler vine the christianity of america is a christianity of whose voter 'yes it may be as truly said as it was of the ancient scribes and pharisees they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne and lay them on men's shoulders but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers all their works they do for to be seen of men they love the uppermost rooms at feasts and the chief seats in the synagogues and to be called of men rabbi rabbi but woe unto you scribes and pharisees hypocrites for he shut up the Kingdom of Heaven against men for he neither go in yourselves neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in he devour widows houses and for a pretence make long prayers therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation he compass sea and land to make one proselyte and when he is made ye make him twofold more the child of Hell than yourselves woe unto you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin and have omitted the weightier matters of the law judgment mercy and faith these Archy to have done and not to leave the other undone he blind guides which strain at a gnat and swallow a camel woe unto you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter but within there full of extortion and excess woe unto you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for ye are like unto whited Sepulcher which indeed appear beautiful outward but are within full of dead men's bones and of all uncleanness even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity dark and terrible as is this picture I hold it to be strictly true of the overwhelming mass of professed Christians in America they strain at a gnat and swallow a camel could anything be more true of our churches they would be shocked at the proposition of fellowshiping a sheep's dealer and at the same time they hug to their communion a man-stealer and brand me with being an infidel if I find fault with them for it they attend with Farah cycle strictness to the outward forms of religion and at the same time neglect the weightier matters of the law judgment mercy and faith they are always ready to sacrifice but seldom to show mercy they are they who are represented as professing to love God to whom they have not seen whilst they hate their brother whom they have seen they love the heathen on the other side of the globe they can pray for him pay money to have the Bible put into his hand and missionaries to instruct him while they despised and totally neglect the heathen at their own doors such is very briefly my view of the religion of this land and to avoid any misunderstanding growing out of the use of general terms I mean by the religion of this land that which is revealed in the words deeds and actions of those bodies North and South calling themselves Christian churches and yet in union with slaveholders it is against religion as presented by these bodies that I have felt it my duty to testify I conclude these remarks by copying the following portrait of the religion of the South which is by Communion and fellowship the religion of the North which I soberly affirm is true to the life and without caricature or the slightest exaggeration it is said to have been drawn several years before the present anti-slavery agitation began by a Northern Methodist preacher who while residing at the South had an opportunity to see slaveholding morals manners and piety with his own eyes shall I not visit for these things saith the Lord shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this a parody come saints and sinners hear me tell ha Pius priests whipped jack and Nell and women bye and children's and preach all sinners down to hell and sing of heavenly Union they'll bleed and bad done' like goats gorge down black sheep and strain at motes array their backs in fine black coats then seize their Negroes by their throats and choke for heavenly Union they'll church you if you sip a dram and damned you if you steal a lamb yet rob old Tony doll and Sam of human rights and bread and ham kidnappers heavenly Union they loudly talk of Christ's reward and bind his image with a cord and scold and swing the lash of horn and sell their brother in the Lord to handcuffed heavenly Union they'll read and sing a sacred song and to make a prayer both loud and long and teach the right and do the wrong hailing the brother/sister throng with words of the heavenly Union we wonder how such saints can sing or praise the Lord upon the wing who roar and scold and whip and sting and to their slaves and Mammon cling in guilty conscious Union they arranged tobacco corn and rye and drive and the sieve and cheat and lie and lay up treasures in the sky by making switch and cowskin fly in hope of heavenly Union they'll crack old Tony on the skull and preach and roar like Bayesian bull or braying ass of mischief fool then cease old Jacob by the wool and pull for heavenly Union a roaring ranting sleek man thief who lived on mutton veal and beef yet never would afford relief to needy sable sons of grief was big with heavenly Union love not the world the preacher said and winked his eye and shook his hand he seized on Tom and Dick and Ned cut short their meat and clothes and bread yet still loved heavenly Union another preacher whining spoke of one whose heart for sinners broke he tied old nanny to a know and drew the blood at every stroke and prayed for heavenly Union to others oked their iron jaws and waved their children stealing pause there sat their children in Hugo's by stinting Negros backs and mores they kept up heavenly Union all good from Jack and other takes and entertains their flirts and rakes who dress as sleek as glassy snakes and cram their mouths with sweetened cakes and this goes down for union sincerely and earnestly hoping that this little book may do something toward throwing light on the American slave system and hastening the glad day of deliverance to the millions of my brethren in bonds faithfully relying upon the power of truth love and justice for success in my humble efforts and solemnly pledging myself a new to the sacred cause I subscribe myself Frederick Douglass Lynn Massachusetts April 28 1845 we hope you have enjoyed our 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