[Channel Teaser] How My Sly Dungeon Master Baited Me Into Killing
A King & I Took It, Hook, Line & Sinker u/Yesitmatches says
I actually got blindsided as a player a couple of nights ago. This is a long term campaign (started at level
1 and we are now at level 18), we had been called to the chambers of the King of my home kingdom, which is not the kingdom that we are currently in. Upon entry to the Kingdom of Damelshire, we
can see that things are not well, the citizens are bowed and bent, there are slaves in the
merchant and upper city that appear better cared for than the serfs in the fields. Muggings and theft are mostly left unpunished,
but when they are punished, the traditional loss of hand is done cruelly and as painfully
as can be done and many do not live through the process. Finally, we reach the King. And this is where my backstory comes into
play. I have a rather trope backstory for this character
(as the character that MY character is based on had a trope backstory), my parents were
the city's blacksmith (human) and an elven barwench from the tavern. Late one night, when my character was about
13, her mother gave her to a smuggler to spirit me out of the city. I fought to stay, but as he carried me around
the corner, I could hear the city watch set upon my home, we were too far to hear the
screams, but I could easily see the flames rise and my home, razed… And that was how my character ended up as
a criminal smuggler, aiding the innocent when only a criminal can save them. (I gave my DM leeway to work anything else
into the background and am always happy to have surprises based on my background happen). So, back to the story, as I walk into the
King's chamber with my companions, I state that I, as normal, stay toward the back of
the group, as I have trouble with authority figures, and our Bard makes a much better
face. DM figures that since I am the shortest of
the group, I am mostly hidden from the King. Bard and King go back and forth, pleasantries,
and the reason for our summoning (track down the famous smuggler Daven of Lock's Sea, my
mentor, which put me on edge), negotiations take place over the price of the bounty, of
whether it is valid dead or alive, etc. etc. Since our Barbarian is feeling left out as
the Bard and King go back and forth, I decide to be the devious brat that my character is,
and whisper to the Barbarian from behind, "Geez, if the bounty is that high, the smuggler
must be impossible to find, and must have fled the Kingdom with the good Queen's virtue;
I'd suggest it could have been the honorable King's virtue, but he seems like a man long
separated from any virtue." Of course, our Barbarian, as well as the Barbarian's
player, both start laughing, to the point of approaching kilt wetting. Hah! Once the King restores order, he asks the
Barbarian, "What is so funny, please share it with the rest of the court." Gods bless our Barbarian for having more charisma
than wisdom, "Mi'Lord, dinnae mane ta coos offense, jes hap ta git a humor as ta wat
dis smugla slinked off wit, or slinked into, as it be"
The King's mood darkened instantly, "The smuggler, neigh two decades ago... slinked off... as
you say, with my last bastard child and the only possible threat to my crown. I'd send you after her if I could give you
more information than she was just barely a teenager when he took her. Plus, how could I describe a half-elf, lowborn
that would stand out." And this point, I had no doubt, he was talking
about me, I stepped out from behind everyone, and, lowering the shawl that I was wearing,
walking forward, the murderous rage building in my character's eyes as I approach. "How about you describe her as a half-elf
woman, nigh thirty years in age, with coal black hair and her mother's emerald green
eyes. Daughter of the, as you so pronounced, traitorous
bar wench, Katita. Daughter of the, as you also so pronounced,
traitorous blacksmith, Thandrik. Given the birth names of Drusila Belladonna,
and known as a member of the Meistersmith family clan. I'm sure half of the reward offered for Daven
would have secured you that information." I pause and the DM informs me that I don't
need to roll an intimidation check; the King is already frozen stiff and about ready to
shit himself. I continue forward, egged on by the DM’s
praise. "But in your impotent mind, you would rather
find the one that robbed you of the pleasure of murdering me. How many other bastard children did you kill? How many other mothers and fathers did you
kill that night so your worthless shitbag of an arse could stay protected on that throne?" I then drew my dagger, and looked to the DM,
expecting to be told to roll of initiative. Nope. The DM just grinned and shook his head. The only thing I could think is, "Holy , did
the DM just 'Kill the King' baited me, and wants to see if I will do it? Is that a dare?" Sure enough, I take another step, danger close
now. Still no roll, no guards moving to attack
me, nor do they appear cowed by my words, but there are some looks of shock in the crowd. My eyes locked back on the King's, "Well,
your grace, it seems your ways have bred a kingdom that would happily be traitorous,
or at least stand by and allow a traitorous thing happen to you. Now, let me fill your belly with the same
that you would have filled mine with on the faithful night" and I then drive my dagger
into his gut. Since I didn't withdraw the dagger, I just
keep pulling it up and across his gut, doing my best not the saw out his insides (or make
it as painful and as drawn out a death as possible). It took full four minutes before the King
quit screaming and fell lifeless into his throne. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my
character that had no idea she even wanted to kill a king, slightly derailed the quest
start, to BRUTALLY kill the king, IN his throne, SURROUNDED by his guards and the rest of the
court. And not to mention, LIVED to walk out of that
throne room. IT’S A TRAP
We literally walked out of the throne room and the castle, and the night effectively
ended. Gamewise, the characters walked out of the
castle, in stunned silence -- my character stunned that I had that much anger toward
that man inside of me and the rest of the party stunned that all of us were alive and
not put under arrest. Upon reaching the tavern, we sat, silently,
for four hours drinking, and only when it was time to settle up was a word spoken by
anyone. Bard: "We... we should sleep and then ready
ourselves for what dawn may bring." Barb, Cleric and Sorcerer in unison: "Who's
paying?" Me: "Party rules, if you cost the job, you
pay for the drinks" (a rule set back in like session ten after losing 15 out 20 jobs because
of stupidity from either the Bard putting his pee-wee in something, the Barbarian by
ripping the arms off of something, the Cleric over moral hangups, and the Sorcerer by leaving
something in ashes... mostly the Bard inserting his mini-Bard in something). And as the calendar was marked for the first
time that the Rogue pays for drinks, we ended the night. The trap is sprung
The party spent the night relatively undisturbed in the tavern, the bells not tolling until
the next day (and next game session). Our session starts with the bells tolling,
chiming for the death of the King and the horrors yet to come. My character is roused by the Chamberlain
of the Kingdom pounding on my door informing me that the Grand Vizier needs to see me,
as matters regarding who would take the throne need to be decided. Let me tell you that by law and right, being
both the sole surviving member of the bloodline, I am the heir of the throne (law) and since
I technically led an invasion, as defined by the law of the land as leading a group
of outsiders that took up arms against the crown and killed the King (right, not really
a bloodless coup but as close as it could have been for an invasion). So.... yay me? I am Queen? Well, because this Kingdom is a Kingdom of
laws, of course there is paperwork and oaths and everything to be signed. At first, everything seems to be going just
fine (maybe a little excessive on the paperwork side of things) and both my character and
I personally start to feel like this is an honest attempt to bury something in the administrative
paperwork. The DM grins ear to ear: "Roll insight"
NAT 20, ’Nuff said! DM grins even more: "Yes, the Grand Vizier
has been trying to bore you with all the legal scrolls and get you into a habit of just giving
the documents a quick read over before you sign. The document that you were just handed has
a line buried in it that reads 'I, Drusila Belladonna, the Shining Morningstar, Savior
of Dunstenberg, Breaker of Sieges <titles titles, and yes everyone in the group has
at least nine or ten honorifics/titles that can be used>, do solemnly swear to wholeheartedly,
heed and trust in the guidance of my Grand Vizier and the other members of the Small
Council...' and it goes on to give reasons and precedence of why it is this way. But something still felt off about the document. I call our sorcerer over, and ask her to see
if there is anything special about this document. The Sorcerer instinctively casts detect magic,
which is active only long enough for the Sorcerer to know that the document is magical, but
suddenly flickers out, while at the same time her lone stone falls to the ground. Arcane check not needed, someone just dropped
Antimagic Field. All eyes turn to the Grand Vizier. GV: There is no need for petty tricks like
that, the documents are protected by magic so that they do not rot. Party: *doesn't buy it*
GV: … Party: …
GV: "Fine! Should have known that it would come to this,
a legendary group as yourselves is worldly enough to be familiar with all these tricks. Let us do away with these false pretenses. You will serve me, this is my kingdom, I will
continue to rule this Kingdom, and prove to my Lords that I worthy to be named among them
and take my rightful place in the True Nine Kingdoms." The body of the GV starts to twist and contort
unnaturally, doubling, then nearly tripling in size. Horns and wings spout from his body in streaks
of sulfuric flames. Party: Oh Shit! Pit Fiend! Roll of initiative. I lead, followed by the Pit Fiend, then the
Bard, then the Barbarian, Sorcerer and lastly our Cleric. The battle rages: Bard dropped in round one,
Sorcerer goes down by round two, I'm in bad shape at the end of two, Cleric is a war Cleric
so is doing okayish, Barbarian is Barbarian and is Barbarianing. Then the dice Gods smile upon us, I crit,
so roll something crazy 2d8+18d6+8 and do 100 damage even, BA to disengage and move
behind my lovely meat shields. Pit Fiend is PISSED! And it is his turn now. in his rage, he moves directly at me, provoking
attacks of opportunity from both the Cleric and the Barbarian. The Barbarian, my lovely, lovely hero of a
Half-Orc Barbarian, rolls for his attack: "I'm going to take the -5 and swing for the
fences using Great Weapon Master." Crit!
5d12 plus some magic stuff and whatever his sickening bonus to damage is because of deciding
to go for broke with Great Weapon Master and being a raging, frenzied berserker Barbarian. Pit Fiend does not look good and it does not
look good for the Pit Fiend. Cleric: *attacks* It is not a crit. *rolls
for damage* IT'S a 1... Minimum damage for the win! Party: *worried looks all around, not sure
if we can handle another round or two of this abuse*
DM: *finishes with his math* Well, congrats to Ver, those 8 points of damage managed to
kill the Pit Fiend. It falls dead. Party: *collective sigh of relief*
With the Fiend banished back to the Nine Hells, multiple contracts are now void and many of
the royal court are suddenly horrified by their actions. Small chaos breaks out, but we get it contained,
even if we look completely wasted. Game time is fast forwarded a month as we
start to put the Kingdom back together. We place Daven on the throne to rule in my
stead, because there are still a couple of plot threads that our party want to tie off. Yes, I know, we just gave the DM a means for
our, at least, my destruction. So, yeah! Even though we pushed the envelope, or at
least I did… all things worked out in the end. Live life at the end of a barrel, be nonchalant
like the badass movie villain, and still get the last laugh at the end! Indeed, in this Queendom, Kings. Bow. Down. Hope you all liked the video. Have you had similar experiences of almost
falling victim to a well-laid trap and getting your behind saved by a heroic Barbarian? Do share your thoughts in the comment section
below. Make sure to hit the subscribe button and
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