Narcissist's Common Phrases Decoded: Narcissism to English Dictionary (Compilation+New Videos)

foreign and today we're going to construct together a dictionary narcissism to English dictionary now if you go online you can find a bazillion videos telling you what the narcissist means when they say one thing and what they don't mean when they say another thing this is not this kind of video today what I'm going to do I'm going to connect some of the most common phrases stock phrases of the narcissists with the Dynamics of the relationship so I'm going to map the narcissists utterances the narcissists speech acts The Narcissist words and phrases with what's happening in the relationship with you now this is a compilation there are four parts the first part is what I've just described the second part has to do with victims it is the outcome of monitoring forums and support groups of victims of narcissistic abuse all over the Internet for several years these are just my Impressions they are anecdotal and the third part is a um a video about the speech of the narcissist the hidden structures the coded messages in the narcissist speech and the fourth part is a general introduction to how the narcissist uses language in order to abuse and to accomplish other aims so a very rich Smorgasbord a buffet of mysticism language and speech and who the hell am I my name is salvaknin and I'm the author of malignant self-love narcissism Revisited the first book ever about narcissistic abuse I am also a former visiting professor of psychology and currently on the faculty of siops Commonwealth for international Advanced professional studies delve right in first of all before we start why is it that you find it so difficult to decipher what the narcissist really means why is it that you have no problem with other people they say things and sometimes you see behind the facade or the Cascade of words very often you decode other people's states of mind you understand their hidden motivations their agendas you manage yourself well in a variety of environments and settings and circumstances you don't have any problem reading between the lines Why do you keep failing with the narcissist because of the love bombing phase in the love bombing phase of the shared fantasy The Narcissist introduces you to his dead inner child the true self it's the body of a child it's the corpse of a child and this child is tearful cowering in the corner shielding his eyes with his palms quavering and shaking even though technically or clinically already did and this is heartbreaking this is heart-rending especially for women and the second thing the analysis does it puts you in touch with his bed objects bad object I'm sorry the interjects in his mind the voices in his mind that hate him deprecate him attack him put him down humiliate him shame him this assemblage of voices that want him gunned they want to want to take him down want him dead these are enemies internal enemies so when he when he introduces you simultaneously to the dead inner child the true self and the bad objects the voices that conspire against him it induces in you a maternal reflexive bonding you bond with a narcissist as a mother and this is not something you can you can control you can't help with it this is a reflex it's instinctual it's animalistic it's primordial it's activistic is beyond Way Beyond the veneer the thin veneer of civilization and impulse control and ego in superego forget all this this is this comes from the stem the stem ring and so when the narcissist introduces you to his dead in a child you become a mother instantaneously and you do and you pity The Narcissist you pity him for his Crucible for the predicament of having to endure the bad object inside himself and so this is a trap this is a trap and it blinds you it blinds you to the narcissist real state of mind it blinds you to um The Narcissist stratagems to the church fantasy it blinds you to the narcissistic egregious misconduct and abusive Behavior it blinds you like a mother you idealize The Narcissist the way a mother realizes her newborn you want the narcissist to be happy you love The Narcissist you care for the nonsense you want to corset him you want to cocoon him you want to to prevent him from enduring further pain and hurt and this is what a mother does and so you're not at Liberty nor are you capable anymore you're incapacitated you're unable to truly listen to what the narcissist is saying not the words the context not the context The Meta text the subtext the hidden text as opposed to the overt text now in this on this channel there's a video about overt text versus hidden text and I recommend that you watch it but the narcissist disables your ability to discern the the former and exposes you only to the latter your develop what is called concrete thinking it's a form of autistic it's a form of autistic defense you pay attention to what the narcissist is saying not to why is he saying it you ignore the motivations and attitudes and goals of the narcissist and instead you take him at his word and this is known as the base rate fallacy a variant of the base rate folks okay enough with the with the background what does the narcissist mean when he says the following seven sentences number one I love you I love you is a very common sentence actually narcissist is keep replaying this sentence and repeating it from day one from date one from meeting number one remember that the narcissist is incapable of positive emotions he is no access to his own positive emotions because they carry with them a lot of hurt and a lot of Shame from early childhood love is pain so the narcissist avoids love so what does hypnosis mean when he says I love you and does he truly believe it the answer is yes the narcissist does believe that he's in love with you he mislabels his true emotions which are essentially a form of dependency now remember love bombing is the first phase in what I call the shared fantasy the shared fantasy is based on work by Sunder in 1989 so the shared fantasy is coupled with a principle that I've discovered the principle of dual Mothership the narcissist is trying to convert you into a mother and then establish with you a fantasy of mother child even if the narcissist is the dominant figure even if it takes over all decision making even if it serves as your external regulator it stabilizes your moods regulates your emotions it has nothing to do with it he is still perceives himself to be a child and you are his mother it's a form of parentifying and so when he says I love you what he's actually saying is I want you to become my mother I want you to love me unconditionally I want you to accept me regardless of my behaviors or misbehaviors I want you to share my fantasy with me because reality is intolerable unbearable too painful I want you to Shield me in cocoon me and firewall me from my internal shame I want you to tell me what I want to hear about myself I want you to reflect to myself I want to reflect to me my glory my grandiosity I want you to be source of secondary Supply I want you to fulfill your roles the four s's sex Services Supply and safety above all perhaps safety I want you to align and mitigate my anxieties especially my abandonment anxiety separation and security it's a list of needs and a list of expectations in a list of Demands it has nothing to do with love it's about using you you're an instrument the narcissist is instrumentalizing you when he says I love you Love In The Narcissist mind is a conditioning mechanism it's a way to ascertain your constant presence in his life the next sentence narcissists say a lot is you have changed you're not the same and there's a tinge of disappointment in their voice a hue of disillusionment in this enchantment you let them down what does the narcissists mean by that well remember coercive snapshotting The Narcissist when he first meets you and firstly decides that you could be his intimate partner he takes a snapshot of you he creates a representation in his mind of you out there narcissists are incapable of discerning and interacting with external objects they convert all external objects into internal objects and that's what the narcissist does to you he has converted you into an internal object in this internal object the snapshot the introject in clinical terms is photoshopped he idealizes you and then he expects you to conform to the idealized snapshot he expects you to never deviate and never diverge and never contradict and never disagree with and never conflict with the internal object the Avatar that represents you in his mind he coerces you in multiple ways to conform to this idealized internal object and this is coercive snapshotting he penalizes you if you dare to display agency and Independence and personal autonomy and thereby deviate from the snapshot and this of course all these of course leads to devaluation and separation from you which is the aim of the shared fantasy it's all been about separating from you as a maternal figure completing the separation individuation of Early Childhood that had failed with the original biological model so when he says you have changed this is in preparation for the devaluation and separation this is the first phase in converting you into a persecutory object an enemy someone who threatens his internal stability equilibrium and happiness he has failed to coerce you into becoming the snapshot so now he needs to get rid of you because your constant reminder of failure and you're a threat to the other internal objects the next sentence that narcissists are fond of repeating is I am I am something I'm the most honest person I know I'm a winner I am very good at what I do I am trustworthy you can trust me I am and there's like a gazillion you know endings to this sentence I am I am postulates the existence of a self it is a form of self-reporting and yet the narcissist doesn't have a self he doesn't have an ego the process of the formation of the ego and the constellation and integration of the self in early childhood up to early adolescence this process has been disrupted by dead bed parenting in a very dysfunctional unhappy family environment or the absence of a family altogether so this self-reporting is false is fake it is a desperate attempt by The Narcissist to pretend that he or she exists but narcissists don't exist narcissism is about absence not presence so when the sun Mastery says I am any sentences starts with I am or I typically am is fallacious it's misleading not intentionally it's Again The Narcissist desperately attempts to first of all first and foremost deceive himself The Narcissist deceptive speech is first and foremost intended to self-regulate to accomplish self-regulation it's not about you because you don't exist thuses doesn't care about you everything is about him or her so I am is the kernel kernel and the nucleus of grandiosity grandiosity is a misperception of reality it's what we call a cognitive distortion coffee break and so when the narcissist says I am something it's usually an self-aggrandizing fantastic inflating proposition I am the most honest person I know for example so this is the foundation of grandiosity and this is where the narcissist begins to divorce reality which makes it extremely difficult for you to understand what he's saying what he's truly saying because it's not grounded in the world it's not grounded in the universe as you know it it's grounded in some fantasmagoria that is unfolding and unfurling in his demented mind demented yes narcissism is a severe mental illness the next sentence is they are you are talking about other people so the previous sentence was I am in the next sentence is you are or they are this is of course projection there are Parts in the personality of the narcissist in the in the disrupted self of the narcissist in the self-states of the narcissist there are portions their segments their figments their elements their components their ingredients that the narcissists cannot tolerate there are parts of the narcissist that the narcissists portions that the narcissist Rejects because they challenge his self-perception which is inflated and fantastic or because they hamper is functioning so if the narcissist is weak he's going to reject his weakness if he is homosexual he's going to reject his sexual orientation if he is abusive is going to reject this knowledge that is abusive and cruel and mean and sadistic If he if if his self-images is a good person he's going to reject these parts of himself if he misbehaved he's going to reframe it it's going to reject his misbeliever what is it what does it do with all this trash what does he do with all this self-negating garbage what is this what does it do with the parts of himself the organs the psychological organs that he cannot tolerate that challenge him that undermine him that humiliate him to shame him what does he do with all these internal parts of himself character traits behaviors predilections proclivities weaknesses vulnerabilities frailties shortcomings limitations failures what it is what does he do with all this it's it's unbearable he takes these things and he throws them at you IT projects them onto you he attributes them to you he is not weak you're weak he's not being abusive you're being abusive so this is known as projection when the narcissist starts a sentence with I am this is grandiosity when the narcissist starts a sentence with they are or you are this is projection the next sentence somewhat tangentially associated with these previous two is this is wrong The Narcissist has a set of rules rigid rules that he had come up with he is a law unto himself exactly like the psychopath exactly like this the narcissist is contumacious and defined it rejects Authority he collaborates with teams he is pro-social is much less criminalized than the psychopath but this is because he he is a junkie he's a drug addict he needs he needs to obtain and to secure enough specific Supply from the environment something the psychopath doesn't have to do but exactly like the psychopath he holds people in utter unmitigated contempt and disdain and so he has this huge he has these huge tables of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate what is right what is wrong how people should behave and how they should not behave how how should he behave and how he should not behave Etc everything is rigidly dictated and so when he says this is wrong he means to say this doesn't sit well or comply with my expectations with the rules I have promulgated with the environment I have engendered when he says they are wrong or this is wrong it means they're useless their unifications their oppositional they're stupid they are obstructive they're passive aggressive so wrong when the last day says this is wrong don't get it wrong it's not about accepted morality it's not about common typical ethical standards it's not a form of self-recrimination self-legilation remorse and regret no it's not it's a it's it's like saying it's not going my way this is wrong means in narcissism speak it's not going my way this is right wow this is the way I want it to be so this is very Psychopathic in effect so it's a bit of antisocial type of speech the next very common phrase or phrases that narcissists use in Daily discourse daily intercourse intercourse by the way is conversation get your minds off the gutter so a typical sentence is I don't remember having done that I don't remember having said that it doesn't sound like me at all you must be wrong the truth is this so when the narcissist says this when the narcissist insists that he hasn't done something hasn't said something that there's no way he could have done or said these things because they don't sit well with who he is with his self-perception or self-image it's not typical I wouldn't have would have never said that I would have never done that I never lie I never steal I never plagiarize I never do these things I never sleep with other people's girlfriends or wives I never do this thing it's not like me I'm a good person I'm an angel I'm a victim yeah they don't remember having done or sent these said these and the truth is not this this is the truth this is because the narcissist dissociates and then he has memory gaps he forgets things that he has said he forgets things that he has done and to bridge over these memory gaps he creates narratives stories fables and this is why it's known as confabulation The Narcissist bridges over the memory gaps by inventing stories or confabulations which are reasonable make sense plausible probable or likely he says I don't remember having done that but probably I have done this I don't remember having said that you misunderstood me I must have said this this doesn't sound like me at all I think you're mistaken but I may have done this the truth is this you're getting it wrong the truth is this this all forms of compensatory confabulation trying to overcome constant amnesia endless Amnesia an Amnesia that wipes out something like 80 to 90 percent of the narcissist's life when the narcissist is confronted with hard evidence of misdeeds misbehavior misconduct hard evidence receipts recordings you know things you can't deny the narcissist would reframe them he would create a meta narrative a hyper story in which he will incorporate the hard evidence in a way that is self-indicating self-validating self-justifying and supportive of the narcissist grandiose inflated in fantastic self-perception and finally another very common sentence is if you refuse to do this it means it means that you don't love me it means that you're not my partner it means that we are not in this together it means that you want to abandon me it means that you be you're betraying me it means if you refuse to do this it means this is a form of course of verbal abuse in an integral part of intermittent reinforcement a control mechanism which conditions conditions the victim intimate partner in this case or could be a friend could be a business partner could be a family member everything I'm saying applies to all types of interpersonal relationships that the narcissist has so it's a form of conditioning you to not refuse because it's verbal abuse it's penalizing it's punitive so you want to avoid it it creates in you the incentive to avoid this outcome and so you comply you become obedient you become submissive you you begin to develop dissociation yourself narcissism is contagious as I keep saying The Narcissist uses leverages his disappointment and disenchantment and disillusionment disillusionment with you as a weapon he weaponizes them he causes you to want to please him to want to conform you want peace you want to avoid conflict he renders you conflict a verse and this sentence is one of the main instruments now I spent the the past two decades actually historically I'm the one who opened the first opened owned and moderated the first six support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse I was the first to describe narcissistic abuse in the 90s and then I opened six support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse with well over 250 000 people as members and I'm talking about the very beginning of the internet ever since then I've been monitoring the gradual degeneration and deterioration in the ethics ethos narratives in forums and support groups of victims of narcissistic abuse now let it be clear I have I've worked with hundreds of victims of narcissistic abuse as clients I've been exposed to thousands in seminars and lectures and comment sections and so on and what I'm about to say in the next clip does not apply to all victims of narcissistic abuse of course most victims of narcissistic abuse just want to move on they want to heal they want to understand what has happened to them but it doesn't become an obsession or a rumination it's just a phase I'm talking about the hardcore group of self-declared self-described victims of narcissistic abuse who are online in forums that are steeped in vicious sniping lack of empathy sadism cruelty vindictiveness that lead me to believe that these so-called victims and especially the so-called empaths communities are actually covert narcissists they are professional victim what's happening there is competitive victimhood it's a language victimhood is a language it's a form of signaling deceptive signaling very often it's a form of signaling that is intended to elicit from other people concessions benefits special treatment so narcissists use victimhoods victimhood is a language and that's why I'm including this clip the short clip in this video so bear in mind it applies only to a slice the online vociferous malevolent slice of self-described victims of narcissistic abuse who I suspect extremely strongly based on literature scholarly literature as well are actually not victims at all but frustrated collapsed covert in many cases narcissists no what do victims of narcissistic abuse really want but first before I answer this question what qualifies me to discuss it at all well I'm the guy who first described narcissistic abuse in the early 90s coined almost all the language he used today I've spent 20 years 28 years studying narcissistic abuse I've had the first website on narcissistic abuse published the first book on narcissistic abuse and moderated and owned the first six support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse and for 10 years for 10 years until 2004 I've been the lone voice online until there was until people discovered the money element the money potential and there was a flood of gold diggers so this is these are my qualifications I feel pretty comfortable to answer these questions what do victims of narcissistic abuse especially those online want here's what they want they want to be told that they are angels that they have had no contribution to their predicament that they are not responsible and should not be held responsible for their choices and decisions they've made for their mate selection that in general they are blameless Guiltless blemishless impeccable and perfect Immaculate in effect they want to be told that the narcissist is demonic narcissist is evil the narcissist is wicked skimming coming monstrous reptilian horrible non-entity that they have fallen prey to a supernatural force that they have just been innocent bystanders who were Swept Away by a malevolent malicious person they want to be told that narcissists are all bad and they are they are all good and this is apathological it's it's a pathological I repeat defense mechanism known as splitting who else does splitting narcissists do borderlines do splitting is a Hallmark of cluster B personality disorders victims online the vast majority of them engage constantly in splitting I'm all good the narcissist is all bad I am not responsible for anything that has happened it's all the narcissist's fault he is 100 to blame and so on the next thing victims of narcissists want is to learn how to destroy the narcissist torture The Narcissist Kill The Narcissist ruin the narcissist they are seething with vengeance and vindictiveness and if I've ever seen evil this is it this precisely is it the overwhelming wish to destroy another person's life is evil period regardless of the of who that other person is well except um in cases where grave crimes have been committed and so on and so forth but generally among the among normal people among um people in daily life Vengeance and vindictiveness of this caliber are indicative of serious mental health problems and a modicum of evil so this is also what they want to hear and there's a crop of coaches and self-styled experts with and without academic degrees who cater to these needs they cater to the victim's Newfound victimhood status the victim and gay the victims engage in signaling they signal to each other and the victim I am entitled entitled to special treatment because oh I'm so fragile and so vulnerable and so damaged and so broken and so mistreated and so subjected to Injustice that I now have rights I now am entitled entitlement is a Hallmark of narcissism and these coaches and self-styled experts cater to this victimhood signaling often deceptive signaling by the way manipulative signaling competitive victimhood it's a phenomenon recently described in literature and these coaches and self-styled experts they tell victims what they want to hear and they laugh all the way to the bank and they make frequent trips to the bank believe me one last thing what is it that victims don't want to do they do not want to learn they do not want to study they do not want to go deep they do not want to understand what's wrong with The Narcissist of course but also what is wrong with them they do not want to Soul search they do not want to assume responsibility they do not want to be held accountable they do not want to acknowledge their contributions to what had happened to them they do not want any of this they want to be told you are all good the narcissist is all bad it's not your fault none of it your victims and I will teach you how to get back at the narcissist how to torture and Destroy and ruin and take revenge on him that's what they want and that's what they are getting online not a pretty picture either with a narcissist or with other ostensible victims hello kiddos and Cadets my name is samvachnin I'm your favorite author of malignant self-love narcissism Revisited and a professor of psychology and today we have a very interesting topic narcissists of all Stripes overt narcissists covert narcissists somatics and cerebrals narcissists who are passive aggressive the narcissists were not or narcissists they use code they use a cipher what you see what you hear is not what you get and today I'm going to teach you to decipher the code to decode the narcissist's speech Act to understand that he is not trying actually to communicate he is trying to conceal in the various multifarious techniques that he uses in his attempt to manipulate you via this concealment is very pernicious it's very Insidious it's very subterranean it's invisible to all other people and when you try to communicate this to others family members friends your lawyer your therapist they think something's wrong with you because they can't see it for the life of them there's the text and there's the hidden text I've made another video on the difference between the difference between manifest text the difference between the master text and the difference between the hidden text when the narcissist communicates with you he is sending you a manifest text but underneath it there's always an occult arcane coded message encrypted and only you have the key you and the narcissist and nobody else so this is today's topic but before we go there something critical it seems because it bothers a lot of you why do I keep saying love bombing when I should say love bombing the correct pronunciation is of course love bombing not love bombing well the reason is my fake accent thick accent is a serious curse narcissism is a serious curse and I have both you can imagine where I am so at the beginning in my earlier videos I try to use the correct pronunciation I used to say love bombing and people kept asking me love bombing love booming love beaming I understood that something's wrong so I decided to mispronounce the word just to be in order to be understood and so now I'm saying love bombing to leave no place for doubt apologies for my accent I am not responsible for it you know okay I would like to read to you two quotes two comments posted on on one of my videos and then we proceed to the topic sunny days hit written the following this is a quote at the beginning of the movie American Psycho based on the book by Brett Eastern Ellis and so in the very beginning of the movie Patrick Bateman the psycho in the movie says the following there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman some kind of abstraction but there is no real me no real me only an entity something illusory and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel the flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable I simply am not there great quote about the inner empty schizoid core of Narcissus and Psychopaths M Wars w-a-r-z whoever she is had written a wonderful encapsulation of the borderline condition here's what she had written here's what she wrote I have BPD borderline personality disorder and you explain this very well when I go into psychopathy I ignore people and plot into future revenge and am comfortable being alone for months when I'm grandiose I switch into narcissism Tendencies I feel empty no emotions left of my own I can't be alone I need validation to breathe I am not good with any sexual rejection I go into BPD rage my narcissism will not allow rejection when I go into my fragile BPD self I'm like a burn victim feel to the top with empathy and when it's not returned I go back to Psychopathic tendencies then histrionic for attention and then back to narcissism because I can't accept that I'm simply not the best you may not be the best but this is the best description of BPD I've ever come across honestly now these are the self-states of BPD you realize I encourage you to watch the videos on my channel regarding the various of states in borderline personality disorder and now to the topic of today's video not a minute to too early and it is speech when the narcissist communicates with you there is what I call an envelope message a manifest text an overt text and a hidden occult coded message it's always two messages always two the envelope message and the hidden message it's exactly like a virus the virus is an envelope and within the envelope there is the RNA there is the genetic material the genetic material is the coded message the virus needs a live cell to translate the coded message into new viruses new proteins and the envelope carries the coded message into the live cell in a way deceiving the Life Zone so the envelope of the narcissist message is always reasonable always flexible with compromising always socially acceptable always common sensible The Narcissist envelope message is something any reasonable rational person would write something somebody with impulse control mature adult responsible reliable this is the envelope message it conveys this image of the narcissist the appearance of the narcissist it's an external facade but deep inside the envelope message there is the viral genetic material there is the hidden occult coded message which triggers you pushes your buttons and the coded message is based on your shared past experiences with the narcissist on previous speech acts it's like a train of train of thought or train of speech the message seems to be standalone seems to be self-sufficient but actually the message is intimately connected to previous messages previous exchanges previous files previous arguments previous disagreements previous gaslighting and previous manipulation so the message is intended to push your buttons in order to manipulate you and it is based on information that only you and the narcissist share no one else this is privileged access information these are experiences you have had together when you're alone these are things he had told you and things you had told him that no one has ever become privy to so the hidden message uses several leverages deploys several techniques and let's review them one by one the first technique is counter factuality or non-facticity in other words the hidden message assumes that you had agreed on something that you had never agreed upon the hidden message pretends that you have a compact that you have a contract that you have decided on a course of action that you have concluded something that there is a decision already made that there is a choice already adopted but none of it is true it's counterfactual it's against the fact the hidden message implies that the big picture is totally agreed upon now let's go to the details and that is of course an element of shared fantasy ocean psychosis so counter factuality is the first technique the second technique is the victim starts the victim language The Narcissist always pretends to be the victim he's actually not pretending he truly believes that he had been victimized victimhood provides him with moral justification for his misdeeds and with misconduct on the one hand and with social approbation and support on the other hand victimhood in other words is useful and so he maintains the victim's stance and language well into his hidden messages and never mind what you say and never mind what you do and never mind how you behave you will always be cast you will always be described as the abuser the abuser is your role in the hidden message in the narcissist insists ferociously vehemently on his victimhood position he is a victim and you will not deny him his victimhood it's his comfort zone and he uses projective identification projective identification is when the hidden message message pushes you manipulates you into abusing The Narcissist elicits from you an abusive reaction The Narcissist forces you to become an abuser because when you're an abuser he's a victim when you're the villain he has the Moral Moral upper hand so he needs you to be the abuser he needs you to be the villain he needs you to act narcissistically and psychopathically and indeed most victims of complex trauma develop narcissistic Psychopathic and borderline traits and behaviors and these are reactive to the narcissist's constant messaging constant signaling I'm a victim you're an abuser I'm a victim you're an abuser it's brainwashing the third technique is projection because the narcissist victimhood is imagined it's confabulated the narcissist has to project his own traits and misbehaviors onto you The Narcissist as a victim needs to feel that he is pure unadulterated innocent honest good upright sanctimonious self-righteous is the way to describe it he is falsely modest if he is covert so the narcissist he has pseudo pseudo-umility so the narcissist needs to believe that you are the opposite of all these things and what he does he takes the traits and the behaviors that do not sit well with his state of victimhood and he projects them onto you and this encourages in you a feeling of ego destiny you absorb these emanations this miasma these Vapors from The Narcissist this process is called entraining The Narcissist entrains you to become an abuser to become a villainous villainous character in his movie or in his theater production and you adopt the role this process is called emergent roles within family family system this is the clinical term so you adopt the emergent role you do become abusive provocative malicious malevolent impulse impulsive Reckless defiant consummations hateful you become everything the narcissist wants you to become and you become and then you feel ashamed and you feel guilty The Narcissist guilt trips you Source in your mind the seeds of self-doubt maybe he is right maybe I am the abuser maybe I am the narcissist when the narcissist accomplishes this incredible feat of reversal of roles via his hidden messages this is hidden messages contain the projection and then there is gaslighting via equivocation The Narcissist never commits never says yes or no he says maybe or really or if you say so or I could have agreed that you know it's always equivocal it's always ambiguous it's always in the air it's always a maybe and in this way he challenges your reality testing he makes you feel that you're crazy that you're not grasping what's happening correctly he rewrites history and he rewrites your mind in the process the hidden messages are usually very hostile the more appropriate proper formal the messages the more hostile it is this is passive aggression passive aggression masquerades as civility in good manners informality while underneath the surface there is enmity hostility hatred and the wish to destroy the recipient the frustrating object so there's a lot of hostility and you pick up on it your senses your seismic sensors via empathy pick up on this hostility and it destabilizes you because being hated is an abnormal state and you you kind of ask yourself why am I hated is it justified in some way and it unsettles you disbalances you ruins your equilibrium and homeostasis and your view of the world is essentially benign benign place with good people the next technique is manipulativeness manipulativeness and coercion via provocation The Narcissist provokes you exactly into acting the way he wants you to act narcissist is a puppet master and he's meeting hidden messages convert you into a marionette into a puppet The Narcissist for example ignores your input or your requests as though you had never spoken he renders you invisible and transparent mini break and feeling invisible and transparent is the worst fear in the human mind to not be seen is the most rudimentary primordial and first Terror in the baby's mind the baby needs to be seen by his mother just in order to survive babies who are not seen are not fed babies were not fed died to be seen is a survival strategy The Narcissist By ignoring things you say By ignoring your requests your wishes your preferences your priorities your emotions cognitions by rendering you invisible by not seeing you as a strategy threatens your survival at least your mental survival the narcissist is also malingus procrastinates delays postpones endlessly wears you down this is passive aggression it's another technique born from passive aggression he promises and he promises to promise and then he promises that his promises to promise were real promises and he is going to promise to promise you and then he promises you and it never happens nothing ever transpires nothing reaches conclusion or closure or result or outcome or anything it's like waiting waiting through swamp it's like you know swimming in Jam it's never it's it's sooner or later it becomes quicksand and you drown in it inexorably pull down by his constant procrastination some analysis is procrastinate because they are perfectionist they insist on a perfect outcome and but the majority of narcissists procrastinate in order to frustrate you their procrastination is actually a transformation of aggression the same thing with forgetfulness narcissists forget they forget as a habit they are professional for getters they forget what you had asked therefore forget forget your requests they forget arrangements and agreements they forget promises they keep forgetting dates and hours and times and schedules and everything forgetting is another form of aggression together with procrastination and truancy the narcissist is absent physically or mentally emotionally or both in most cases both he is truant he's not there and he's not there he makes sure to not be there in the most crucial moments when you really really need his presence for something in order to decide something in order to conclude something in order to move on in order to you know establish a schedule in order to meet someone in order to do business and it's a very crucial moment you can count on the narcissist's sudden inexplicable absence with some stupid excuse and neglect forgetfulness procrastination and truancy of the four horses of the narcissistic apocalypse they are intended to inflict upon you are magidan to destroy you totally there is intentional inefficiency stubbornness pseudostupidity faking it I didn't understand I'm sorry an outright sabotage and all these are passive aggressive techniques the key to communicating with a narcissist effectively is to ignore the hidden message to ignore all this to not respond to the occult message to the hidden message to not allow the narcissist to push your buttons and triggers but some people find it very difficult to accomplish some people are still in the throes of the of a relationship with the narcissist or the narcissists still gets some hold over them via his interjects for example the narcissist is inside your head even when he's long gone physically he's still inside your head you can get yourself out of the narcissist but you can cannot get the narcissist out of yourself so the best solution is to use professionals to communicate with the narcissist if you can help it never ever communicate with the narcissist directly force him to communicate with you with your lawyers with your accountants with your best friend with your family member with your father with someone forces to force him to communicate with people who are oblivious to the hidden message you remember that the hidden message is based upon shared experiences shared past a shared past shared communication in the past and so people from the outside Outsiders they simply don't support they don't detect the hidden message and so they're going to respond to the overt open reasonable socially acceptable common sensical envelope message and that's what you want you want to keep the communication surface on the surface you do not want to go deep with the narcissist into the rabbit hole of his Communications so if you refer the analysis to other people who are constitutionally incapable of even detecting the hidden message the communication will devolve into envelope communication surface communication and you will not be triggered into actions that you're bound to regret later possible go no contact any communication refer to an intermediary to a buffer to a firewall and this buffer of firewall will ignore the hidden message and convey to you only the open one and so it's a filter The Narcissist engages in something called palindromic speech the communication of narcissists is either inward facing they verbalize their inner dialogues conversing aloud sometimes with themselves with the audience is a mere foil to their stream of Consciousness so this is the inward looking communication or it could be outward facing when the narcissist communicates with himself you are just an observer you're an audience he's bouncing thoughts off you you're like a blank screen upon which you can project anything that is inner communication actually your witnessing is inner communication and I repeat some narcissists do it aloud I mean they verbalize it and then this outward facing communication narcissists talk in order to impress their interlocutors in order to evade actually providing information to obfuscate vulnerabilities so what they do is they are not communicate they don't communicate they impress they manipulate they obfuscate they obscure they evade narcissists in the not a language is a narcissistic weapon in the narcissist Arsenal pay attention to several warning signs number one the use of indefinite pronouns and modifiers like this or someone or that when the narcissist does not specify does not clarify any of the other parts of the speech leaving The Listener guessing as to what had occurred to whom when where and why so indefinite pronouns and modifiers are a major sign of palindromic speech by the way many self-styled experts and coaches and so on online they use the phrase word salad word salad is strictly limited to schizophrenics schizophrenics have something called disorganized speech and this is a word salad narcissists do not engage in words sound no one actually engages the word solid except schizophrenics or people with psychotic disorders so it's a misuse of the phrase borrowed from Clinical literature wrongly by ignorant people number two so we are not discussing warning signs when you when you listen to The Narcissist or communicate with him verbally in writing their warning signs of palindromic Stitch palindromic speech is the hidden message so number one indefinite pronouns and modifiers number two if the narcissist is addressing an audience or you demand the truth and accountability from him you can safely assume exaggeration confabulation reframing and outright lying on his part this is done partly also to cover up the narcissist's pervasive dissociation number three when the narcissist expostulates on his motivation for doing something or when he recounts what had happened he is either wrong refraining to justify his misbehavior or to restore ego simply or he is lying out of self-interest or he has dissociative gaps amnesic gaps and he's trying to bridge them with a confabulation he tries to sell you on what makes sense rather than on the truth if he doesn't know the truth he will provide you with a plausible replacement substitute alternative you remember alternative facts if you keep reiterating the question if you insist on an answer if you insist on the truth if you persist he often contradicts himself and comes up with conflicting versions of the same events never trust what the narcissist says do not let his gas lighting undermine your trust in your senses your judgment your observations your memories your identity and your common sense make sure that only what you see is what you get observe the behaviors and reactions of the narcissist and everyone around the analysis for Clues as to what had really transpired don't let the narcissist Club you on the head and don't wake up in his platonic Cave of Shadows of an alternative reality palindome palindromic speech is any kind of statement about facts or inner mental states that intentionally often or inadvertently more rarely creates confusion in disorientation in the listener gaslighting lying these are examples of crass and malicious palindromic speech Acts confabulation and illogical incoherent discourse these are benign variants intended to breach dissociative gaps in memory or to patras grandiosity and palindromic speech which I I'm saying again that's the core of the hidden message palindromic speech makes use of various semantic devices pay close attention when you talk to the narcissist you need to be hyper vigilant you need to analyze any and every word every phrase everything tactical Choice why did you put the words in this order why did you choose to say something why did he choose to not say something that's the hidden text the manifestics the hidden text so you're all the time on your toes you're all the time analyzing when you if you can't just take it for granted and the narcissist makes use of several semantic devices number one number one referential shifts referential shift is when the words refer to one thing while appearing to be actually referencing another thing it seems that he's talking about a when actually he's talking about B he means to talk about B but he's talking about a because talking about a disguises his real intentions opinions and judgments and manipulation with regards to B so this is referential shift double entender word when he uses words or phrases which are open to two sometimes mutually exclusive interpretations or meanings so the same word can mean this thing can mean a or can mean b But A and B can't be together they're mutually exclusive they contradict each other and yet he uses the word that can be can be interpreted in several ways or a phrase that can can be interpreted in several ways this is double and thunder double meaning the next one is contextual drift contextual drift is when the narcissists subtly subterraneanly imperceptibly Alters changes the context of the conversation and by changing the context of a conversation he changes the message and he changes the reality test he reframes the whole thing even as you are listening and you are not aware of it because he's very good at what he does so suddenly you find yourself discussing something you had no intention to discuss and you ask yourself how did I get here that's contextual drift next one is manipulative speech corn oriented utterances intended to impress or to accomplish aims not to communicate there is misattribution or attribution errors suggesting or preferring the wrong connections the wrong links between alleged or ostensible motivations and intentions and actual actions so he interprets actions in terms of wrong motivations wrong intentions and in this way he deflects blame for example or he casts his own actions in the best possible light or he casts your actions in the worst possible light he assigns roles and he assigns roles by misinterpreting very often deliberately intentions and motivations some analysis small minority a paranoid so attribution errors are very common in paranoia and among conspiracy theories they have psychological traits called conspiracism the next semantic device used in palindromic speech and hidden messages is circumstantial mitigation an external locus of control a victim stance events conspire people collude to yield the misconduct and so he says I misbehaved what I did was wrong but you're guilty it's your fault you push me to do it or circumstances made me do it or I couldn't help myself or something overcame over me so there's an external locus of control and there's a victim starts events conspired people colluded and this gave rise to the misconduct and he abrogates personal responsibility he assumes the passive voice and finally there's logical policies simply a very important very famous example is post-hoc in other words if we had followed a it means that a had caused B which is absolutely wrong could be but it doesn't have to be or correlation is causation or reference to Authority or ad hominem attacks and so on narcissus uses logical and fallacies to support his palindromic species and palindromic speech is efficacious efficacious because the base rate of the base rate cognitive bias the base rate rate cognitive bias States in one of its Renditions that people automatically fully believe 95 of what they're they are told sight unseen people don't bother to verify they don't bother to cross-check they don't bother to confirm in 95 of the cases they just take it for granted they assume that most people are good well-intentioned they assume that most people are good that the world is benign that people are not evil and malevolent and malicious so they have a base rate cognitive bias they accept and palindromic speech uses this vulnerability this this weakness and that renders palindromic speech very efficacious and palindromic speech mitigates the ineluctable hurt and pain associated with truth telling honestly no one likes to hear the truth people hate truth tellers which is why I'm hated I'm kidding you're not I think I'm hated because I'm a truth teller so people hate truth tellers and palindromic speech caters to this bias I don't want to I've made up my mind don't confuse me with the facts and so palindromic speech colludes with psychological defense mechanisms such as denial and with behaviors such as reframing and avoidance it is awful very powerful psychodynamic allies inside The Narcissist co-ops the narcissus works with leverages your own psychological defenses that's what makes the narcissist speech so um irresistible so hurtful so accomplished there are two other obstructive speech patterns the hypothetical speech pattern and the counterfactual speech pattern The Narcissist borderline psychopath they use hypothetical speech to test the waters to see how their interlocutors would react to certain information so sentences like maybe or possibly or it could be that or I think that or I thought so but wasn't sure these are all forms of exploratory excursions that the narcissist and borderline talk about that testing the waters how are you going to react if they were to convert these sentences into certainties how would you take it badly if they say something so so they say maybe I should have done this maybe you should have done maybe it's kind of deniable a plausible deniability I you know I said it but they just said maybe you know it's like someone insults you humiliates you online and then at the end they write just saying you know so maybe X in the narcissist pitch maybe X means X had actually happened X is the truth but how do you feel about this maybe X I'm testing counterfactual speech is alive or misinformation disguised as either a rhetorical question or a statement of settled and universally accepted fact for example maybe she flirted with me at the restaurant but she didn't come to my room later that evening now did she well that's a strong indicator that she did visit his room that night and so this is counterfactual speech there are three types of manipulative speech victim speech entitled demanding dependent transparent whining whining grievances grudges that's victim speech it's a manipulative type of speech co-dependence and borderlines engage in this speech a lot and so do narcissists then there is child speech entitled demanding dependent transparent manipulative naive immature fantastic narcissists have this and then there is a psychopathic speech entitled envious competitive malicious opaque coded dense and multi-layered let's discuss a bit lying and confabulation if the mouths are moving they're lying histrionics borderlines Psychopaths narcissists they move their mouth the line they lie all the time their lives may be goal oriented to secure money to secure sex to secure narcissistic Supply or the presence of the intimate partner the lives may be intended to regulate grandiosity or a labile sense of self-worth to buttress a stance of victimhood or simply because the Forbidden and the illicit and the risky are thrilling and Novelty and this is in case of Serial cheaters who lie and deceive promiscuous attention addicted people and so on so when you communicate with these types what they say is largely irrelevant the only relevant information is why they had chosen to say what they had said so don't pay attention to what they're saying ask yourself why are they saying it the selection of Lies the choice of of confabulations is revealing telling an informative and the same applies in Psychotherapy by the way the animatic the intake phase in the intake phase most patients confabulate they offer narratives that are egocentric self-justifying so what the patient says is not nearly as important or crucial or edifying as to why the patient had chosen to say what the patient had said the choices they make in telling their stories are much more important than the stories narcissists lecture they never talk they seek to impress they never communicate they ignore other people's input they actively suppress such input rather than listen the narcissist is so invested so immersed in extracting narcissistic Supply from his interlocutors so so um so concerned with dazzling them with his Brilliance or with his sexual irresistibility that the narcissist is oblivious to his body language to his verbal cues to his interjections to events around him or to the environment at Large it's a compulsion obsessive The Narcissist expostulates hectares pontificates or Pines defines edifies rectifies Rants and Raves and rumbles for hours on end ceaselessly and breathlessly all of you have been exposed to The Narcissist to The Narcissist monologues unending monologues like this lecture and always from a position of pompous self-importance and verbose superiority and for authority yeah people his mum and numb audience find the narcissist exhibitionistic delusional and coercive grandiosity so repellent so off-putting that they shun his unilateral company altogether at the end that's why most narcissists are left alone these people can't stand them anymore but what about speech acts which are abusive when what happens with the narcissist psychopath borderline never mind abuse speech not only use speech but abuse speech there are three examples let's start with big picture evasiveness it's my mini day let's start oh it's Minnie's day with me let's start with big picture big picture evasiveness narcissists hate details narcissists are too self-important the narcissist's life is too cosmically significant to be wasted on frivolous trivia and Trifles narcissists are above The Fray of the quotidian of the daily of the pedestrian the concern them they concern themselves only with strategy never with tactics narcissists lay out in sweeping synoptic terms the big picture they leave it to lesser inferior Mortals like you to feel out and fill in the yawning gaps and to iron out the glaring inconsistencies in the narcissist's big picture and her brain schemes any attempt to involve The Narcissist in the minutia of decision making and the give and take of human endeavor is perceived by The Narcissist as coercion a humiliating ill-intentioned and deliberate challenge to his grandiose self-perception is for itself the narcissist's unwillingness to dirty his hands with the routine the mundane virtually guarantee that his is her brain schemes hastily laid plans convoluted stratagems guaranteed that they will go awry they will end in failure the narcissist coercive delegation of tasks the Cascade of often contradictory instructions the grandiosity the aggressive superiority that characterizes expectations is fantasies his so-called planning always alienate and infuriate his bosses his underlings his employees his collaborators his Partners his suppliers his customers his intimate partners some of some narcissists end up acting all along because of that and some of the victims of the narcissist the recipients of his harangux and his hectoring and preaching and tirades and vitriol and diatribes some of these victims end up acting passive aggressively and spitefully undermining The Joint Enterprise others worn by The Narcissist aloofness and Godlike Detachment from reality simply give up on him they go through the motions robotically awaiting the inevitable method of the narcissist then a second abusive speech Act is anoplastic defenses and Shifting the blame narcissists are hyper Vigilant and consequently they misperceive rejection and insults everywhere not being sexually desired not occupying the center of attention not garnering narcissistic Supply not being the alpha male in the room or the most intelligent person in the group all these constitute grave narcissistic injuries to the false self the psychopath is distinct from the narcissist is goal oriented so here regards to the very same rejections as mere obstacles challenges to be overcome he says to himself I am not desired I will render myself irresistible and I will make her jealous by triangulating or I'll just just move on to the next Target I am not the center of attention since the psychopath if I want to I will make sure that I am and so on so both analysis and psychopaths are competitive they are both hell-bent on winning and prevailing but for different ends and reasons the north C6 narcissistic Supply the psychopath six power money connections position sex and so on The Narcissist seeks to secure an uninterrupted flow regulated flow of narcissistic Supply the psychopath simply aims to accomplish and Achieve goals another facet shared by narcissists and psychopath is their alloplastic defenses they are never fully fully responsible they're never to blame they're never guilty accountable they they their misconduct is Never Their Own they don't own their misconduct narcissists who cheat on their spouses for instance they're likely to say I was drunk I was taken advantage of or you made me do it or I had no choice under the circumstances but to act the way I did the psychopath will use the theory of Just Desserts psychopath will say they deserve it they had provoked me they mistreated me they acted stupidly so they had it coming or I deserved it so I took it or this is the way of the world and I had to do what I did just in order to survive a man has to do what a man has to do the third abusive speech Act is much more famous I was the first to incorporate gaslighting into narcissistic abuse in 1995 gaslighting preceded of course my work in 1995. we'll have descriptions of gaslighting as early as 1968 using the term gaslighting but I was the first to introduce gas lighting into the discourse of narcissistic abuse when I coined the phrase narcissistic abuse so passive aggressive gaslighting is an abusive speech Act nothing is more infuriating than the passive aggressive evasiveness or gaslighting of the narcissist or psychopath it's like trying to hold on to a slimy goldfish it's it you can never catch you can have a kind of settle there's no fixed Point everything is in flux everything is kaleidoscopic you can't get a straight answer you can't get the truth of what had happened if anything had happened The Narcissist in the psychopath denies that anything at all had happened then he parades a kaleidoscopic array of protein contradictory versions of What may actually have happened or occurred then he minimizes the meaning of what finally he grudgingly acknowledges had transpired throughout this thief extracting process The Narcissist implies that to dispute his claims or to doubt him is a sure sign of mental derangement and prove positive of an impaired reality testing or else it's malicious hadn't admitted wrongdoing The Narcissist axiologically reframes the transgression in other words he misattributes it to some values he did nothing wrong in his book the values of the injured party are old-fashioned possessive plain irrational the other party is insanely jealous The Narcissist misconduct is common or accepted where he comes from it's a question of culture he could not have acted differently under the circumstances and constraints of the moment isn't this understandable why do you keep harping at it can't we let go he had not premeditated intention to act the way he did it just simply happened it just happened because he was drunk or high or stressed or angry or sad or disappointed or lonely or miserable or something so it's never his fault things happen to the narcissist or the other psychopath or the borderline things happen to them they are the passive receptacles and recipients or fate Destiny institutions other people and finally The Narcissist shifts the blame a loplastic defense with an external locus of control his ships the blame he's the blame you're guilty he guilt-trips you the narcissist and psychopath was drunk for example was high he was forced into acting the way he did he was co-opted he was he got taken advantage of he was raped or she was raped he was taken by surprise he was gullibly taken advantage of he's been abused he's the victim and then there's the perennial it is all the victims fault it's all the fault of the party that was hurt she made him do it she misbehaved she had abused him and provoked him and pushed him to misbehave to his deeds to the brink of insanity to the point of no return where he could no longer recognize himself she drove him insane usurping the victim rule is a sure-fire a sign that the narcissists of psychopath has done something truly rotten or truly dangerous when the narcissist goes out goes all out on the offensive you you know that he did something really really bad gaslighting by narcissist and psychopath is surreal it's disorienting they lie reflexively with a straight face and without missing a bit the Psychopaths pre-varication frequently involves very convincing mimicry of other people's behaviors and effects and this engender is an alternative almost hallucinatory or nightmarish reality so I'll give you two Simple Rules number one the psychopath is never said is always mad not said mad and sometimes bad he's mad at you and number two when the psychopath says I'm bad when he's ostensibly contrite and repentant what he means to say is I'm afraid I'm afraid of the consequences of my action or I'm pissed off that I was found out I am very angry that I I allowed myself to be caught red-handed in flagrante so when the loss when the psychopath in the Nazis say I'm bad I'm sorry it's my fault I regret it I'm remorseful they don't mean this they mean to say too bad you found out as clearly wrote perfectly wrote in his Masterpiece the mask of Sanity actions and behaviors are the Psychopaths only true forms of communication actions and behaviors of the narcissist language we should therefore pay attention exclusively to what the psychopath and the narcissist do and utterly ignore absolutely everything they say so why do we often believe in trust narcissists and borderlines Psychopaths when they tell us what had happened why do we fall for their lies because they're not lies Psychopaths could revaricate to secure goals narcissism borderlines rarely do most commonly they confabulate the fabulation is a desperate attempt to bridge dissociative memory gaps lost time blackouts borderline desperate to make sense of a discontinuous disjointed fragmented world and to do this they accomplish this they build these Bridges by extrapolating from past experiences and creatively generating a fiction and narrative so as to what probably plausibly might have happened in the missing hours or minutes or days confabulating is intended to both restore identity continuity and cohesion and to hide the missing segments in the narcissist of orderlines personal histories confabulations effectively a form of false recall or false memories confabulations are irresistibly convincing and alluringly reassuring because the narcissist or borderline honestly and firmly believe that they are true and confabulations have the power of memories and they appear to be objective and authentic they're always very likely very plausible even highly probable so they are easy to accept by all people by all parties in many cases there's a fourth reason the confabulation allows everyone involved to negate an efficaciously ignore a painful reality or an uncomfortable alternative scenario or set of facts we all including the confabulator one to believe the contribulation because it affords us Comfort secure Peace of Mind narcissism borderline's dissociate and then confabulate ceaselessly it is easy to be drawn into their counterfactual old out reality or Universe The Twilight Zone of their inventive probabilities The Psychotic realm of their discontinuous existence confirmation bias does the risk having committed ourselves to The Narcissist or borderline's version of events having entered the alternative Universe we filter out we suppress all countervailing information and contradictory or challenging facts or possibilities now I want to find out online so bear with me for a minute I want to find online something I had written a while ago and read it to you because it's a because it's an example of what I'm saying and here's what I wrote your wife doors up she grabs a bottle of liquor excited and she rushes out the door at 9 30 pm she says that she had been invited for a late dinner by a friendly couple do you believe her belief is not the same as Trust belief is purely cognitive not emotional first you have to care enough to scrutinize and contemplate the issue if the outcome is of no importance to you the resource efficient path of least resistance is is to believe next the facts must align with the belief the facts cannot be blatantly counterfactual contradict the belief if the facts match a possible benign interpretation you're likely to adopt this interpretation in order to reduce dissonance and hurt owing to the deceit of your wife so you're likely to adopt confirmation bias if you wish or if you're forced to maintain the status quo the way things are turning a blind eye self-deception is actually the only viable option and finally awareness and even vigilance are inversely proportional to the extent of idealization splitting projection reframing and other defense mechanisms you are far more likely to believe your wife if you're still idealizing her for example eyes wide chart are conducive to believe so this is an example of guys lighting and why we believe gaslighting and lies and confabulations I want to end with the general statement there's no reasoning with the mentally ill mentally ill people cannot be risen with cannot be analyzed with any rationality this is because mentally ill people are capable of harboring opposing dissonance and contradictory cognitions and emotions at the same time this is called paradoxical thinking hyperflexibility so the the mentally ill person can at the same time believe two contradictory things think two mutually exclusive things feel ambivalently to con conflicting emotions you can't based on conduit the double bind Lang dubbed it the incompatible not the speech acts and decisions of mentally ill people need to be deconstructed not merely observed from the outside people with psychiatric or psychological problems appear to be impulsive erratic labile unpredictable antisocial dysregulated disempathic dangerous heartless mendacious and egotistical but the truth is mentally ill people are simply Meandering along the conflicting parts of their psyche this fragmentation of the alienated self disc affecting emotionally investing in internal rather than external objects may have to do with what guidance call ontological insecurity even in patients with milder syndromes such as personality disorders there is a glaring absence of order structure continuity cohesive identity meaning emotional stability reduce anxiety inconsistent positivity or negativity there's no consistency it's not the balance that matters it's a consistency in such Epic fourth lines fracturing fragmenting impedes the evolution of a theory of mind a world life and a world view destroys logic itself undermines it we raise our perceptions our understanding of other people on inter-subjectivity and we use empathy it's mentalization theory of mind we place ourselves in other people's shoes but it is a speculative system of course it is founded almost entirely on trust it is based on Honest self-reporting by other people regarding their inner mental states it is based on correlations of these self-reports with observable observable actions and behaviors dishonest self-reporting leads to discrepancies with observables and these and gender disorientation anxiety induced dysfunctional responses in US people with cluster B personality disorders dramatic erratic these people consistently mislead misrepresent their psychological self-states their emotions their cognitions their self-reporting is fallacious this prevarication has to do with identity disturbance dissociative Amnesia contabulation and manipulative line and gaslighting and consequently it's hopeless there is no point in trying to grasp analyze comprehend understand breakfast predict these personalities these personalities do not possess a stable core and in many respects don't exist there's an empty schizoid core there this emptiness such negotiating with the void said howling into deep space they're either subjected to and at the mercy of Labor Island dysregulated Winds of their moods or emotions or they are no longer with us tipped in delusions of grandeur with fantastic Landscapes pseudo-psychotic impaired reality testing and in many cases they're simply lying through their teeth so why bother and every word I said here is the truth Maybe my name is Sandra I'm the author of malignant narcissism Revisited in the narcissist's surrealistic world even language is pathologized it mutates into a weapon of self-defense a verbal fortification a medium without a message replacing words with duplicitous and ambiguous vocabuls yeah the narcissist and often by contagion is unfortunate victims he doesn't talk he does not communicate he fends off he hides and evades and avoids and disguises in the planet of capricious and arbitrary unpredictability that the narcissist inhabits there are only shifting semantic and semiotic Dunes analysis is perfects the ability to say nothing in lengthy Fidel castro-like speeches the narcissist's speech is impregnated and dense with first-person pronouns I me my mind I call it pronoun density the ensuing convoluted sentences are Arabesque or meaninglessness acrobatics of evasion lack of commitment elevated to an ideology The Narcissist prefers to wait and see what waiting brings it is the postponement postponement of the inevitable that leads to the inevitability of postponement as a strategy of survival it is often impossible to really understand the narcissist the evasive syntax fast deteriorates into ever more Labyrinthian structures the grammar is tortured to produce the verbal Doppler shifts essential to these guys the source of the information its distance from reality the speed of its degeneration into rigid official versions narcissist is completely incomprehensible most of the time buried under the Lush Flora in Fauna of idioms without an end the language erupts like some exotic skin rash an autoimmune reaction to its infection and contamination by the narcissist like wild weeds The Narcissist language Sprints throughout strangling with absent-minded persistence the ability to understand to feel to agree to emote to disagree to debate to present arguments to compare notes to learn to teach the narcissist makes all these completely impossible because of his abuse of language narcissist is therefore never talk to others rather they talk at others or they lecture them they exchange subjects camouflage wrapped by elaborate flurry texts they read between the lines spawning a multitude of private languages prejudices superstitions conspiracy theories rumors phobias and hysterias this is the world of the narcissist paranoid solipsistic where communication is permitted only with oneself in the aim of language needs to throw others off the scent or to obtain narcissistic supply of course okay this maltreatment of language has profound implications communication through unequivocal unambiguous information Rich simple systems is such an integral and crucial part of our world that its absence is not postulated even in the remotest galaxies which graced the Skies of Science Fiction in this sense narcissists are nothing short of aliens extraterrestrials it is not that they employ a different language a code to be deciphered by a new Freud or a supercomputer it is also not the outcome of upbringing or social cultural background it is the fact that language is put by narcissists to a different use not to communicate but to obscure not to share but to abstain not to learn but to defend and resist not to reach out but to persevere over less terrible monopolies to disagree without incurring wrath to criticize without commitment to agree without appearing to do so thus in agreement with the narcissist is a vague expression of intent at a given moment rather than a clear listing of long-term iron-class iron cast iron clad and mutual commitments the rules that govern The Narcissist Universe are loopholed incomprehensibles open to interpretation so wide and so self-contradictory that it renders in vinegars the narcissists often hangs himself by his own verbose garlic knots having stumbled through a mind field of logical fallacies and having endured self-inflicted inconsistencies unfinished sentences hover in the air like Vapor above a semantic swamp in the case of the inverted narcissist who was suppressed and abused by overbearing caregivers there is the strong urge not to offend intimacy and interdependence are great a rental or peer pressure are irresistible and result in Conformity and self-deprecation aggressive tendencies strongly repressed in the social pressure cooker team under the veneer of forced Civility and violent politeness constructive ambiguity and non-committal everyone is good and right an activistic variant of moral relativism intolerance bread of fear and contempt they are all at the service of this eternal vigilance against aggressive drives at the disposal of an a never-ending in either peacekeeping mission this is the inverted narcissist a suppressed narcissist but with a classic narcissist language is used cruelly and ruthlessly to ensnare one's enemies to show confusion and panic to move others to emulate analysis this is called projective identification to leave the listeners in doubt in hesitation in paralysis to gain control to punish these are the uses of the language language is enslaved and forced to lie the language is appropriate and expropriate it is considered to be a weapon an asset a piece of lethal property traitorous mistress to be gangraped into submission with cerebral narcissists language is a lover the infatuation with its very sound leads to a pyrotechnic type of speech sacrifices its meaning to its music its speakers pay more attention to the composition to the content they are swept by the language Intoxicated by its Perfection inebriated by the spiraling complexity of its forms here language is an inflammatory process it attacks the very tissues of the narcissist relationships with artistic fierceness it invades the healthy cells of risen and logic and communication of coordinated documentation and level-headed debate language is a leading indicator the psychological and institutional health of social units such as the family or the workplace Social Capital can often be measured in cognitive and hence verbal lingual terms to monitor the level of comprehensibility and lucidity of ticks is to study the degree of Sanity of family members co-workers friends spouses mates and colleagues there can exist no hail Society without unambiguous speech without clear Communications without the traffic of idioms and content that is an Inseparable part of every social contract our language determines how we perceive our world it is our mind and our consciousness The Narcissist in this respect is a great social Menace undermining language itself welcome back this is the second lecture in the in the cycle the prophets of narcissism it is intended for the psychology track of Sears Sears the outreach program Center for international advancement professional studies this is not meant for Southern federal University my name is Sam vaknin I'm the author of malignant self-love narcissism Revisited and of course your professor of psychology so today we are going to discuss the first video had dealt with an American Thinker Christopher lash who was in every possible way the intellectual father of Jordan Peterson and today we are going to discuss Louis altusa Louis altusas is an amazing phenomenon and an amazing story with the exception of Nietzsche no other madman had contributed so much to human sanity as had Louis altuser and yes he ended up in a mental Asylum exactly like Friedrich Nietzsche it seems that we derive a lot of wisdom from totally crazy people which bodes well for me anyhow Louis altuser is mentioned twice in the Encyclopedia Britannica in both cases is someone's teacher there could be no greater Omission than oversight for two important decades the 1960s and the 1970s Louis altusa was the eye at the core at the center of all the important cultural debates and storms quite a few of these currents in modern intellectual history and this newly found obscurity forces me to summarize altus's work before I suggest a few minor modifications to it with all due lack of modesty well let's start with reviewing his work atmosa says that Society consists of what he calls practices economic practice political practice ideological practice and altusa defines practice as any process of transformation over determinate product affected by a determinate human labor using determinate means of production pretty straightforward so the economic properties the historically specific mode of production transforms raw materials to Finnish products using human labor and other means of production all organized within defined webs of interrelations known as factories in many cases the political practice does it uses social relations as the raw material and finally ideology is the transformation of the way that a subject relates to his real-life conditions of existence this is altuza rejects the mechanistic worldview replete with bases and superstructures it's a rejection effect of the Marxist theorization of ideology and it's pretty ironic that is considered to be a post-marxist or a kind of extension of marxist Marxism he rejects marks it it's a rejection of the hegelian fascist social totality it is a dynamic revealing modern day way of thinking and model of existence so in altus's intellectual world the very existence and reproduction of the social base not merely its expression all these are dependent upon the social superstructure the superstructure is relatively autonomous in ideology has a central part of it altoser is arguably one of the two or three most important thinkers about ideology the economic structure is determinant but another structure could be dominant depending on the historical conjunction determination now called over determination I'll discuss it at the end determination specifies the form of economic production upon which the dominant practice depends on rests let's put it otherwise the economic is determinant not because the practices of the social formation political practices ideological practices are the social formations expressive Epi phenomena it is determinant because it determines which of these practices which of these Expressions becomes dominant in other words the economic side the economic practice is the Arbiter arbitrates mediates decides channels both the practice of Soul of society and its expression and in this sense of course he is in some ways it is in some ways a continuation of marks but there's also a continuation of Adam Smith it's it's not unique to mark So to heckle there you go next thing that altuser says is that people relate to the conditions of existence show the practice of ideology they filter reality through ideology contradictions are smoothed over real problems are offered false though seemingly true Solutions and so ideology has a realistic Dimension and a dimension of representations like myths Concepts ideas images there is Harsh conflicting reality and there is the way that we represent reality to ourselves and to other people via ideology to achieve the above ideology must not be seen to ER it must be it must be perceived as infallible error-free and it must never remain speechless it has it the ideology must have something to say about everything ideology therefore confronts and poses to itself only questions it can answer only answerable questions in decidable statements ideology therefore limits the space of discourse to Realms of Life issues topics conundrums dilemmas that it can offer an answer to and this answer is ipso facto deemed error-free by definition or is true and correct this way ideology remains confined to a fabulous legendary contradiction-free domain it's a fable and it ignores all other questions it ignores them all together and how to Reser introduced the concept of the problematic the as a as he puts it the problematic is the objective internal reference the system of questions commanding the answers given problematic is the question set of questions that ideology poses to itself it determines which problems the programmatic determines which problems which questions and answers are part of the game and which should be blacklisted and never as much as mentioned it is a structure of theory ideology framework and the repertoire of discourses which ultimately yield a text or a practice and all the rest is excluded ideology therefore become the problematic therefore becomes clear within the ideology it becomes clear that what is omitted what is excluded what is ignored what is repressed and denied and suppressed is of no less importance than what is included in any text in any discourse in any debate in any explanation hermeneutic exegetic principle so what we don't hear being discussed is as important as we hear being is what we hear the problematic of the text relates to its historical context where altuzical's Moment by incorporating both inclusions as well as omissions presences as much as absences the problematic of the text Fosters the generation of answers to posed questions and of defective answers to excluded questions as you as you're beginning to see it has a lot to do with narcissism this narcissism is an absence an ideology and has its own problematic set of allowed questions the permitted discourse according to ultraser the task of scientific for example Marxist discourse um of adversarian critical practice the task of of this is to deconstruct the problematic to read through between the lines to to see through the ideology and evidence the real conditions of existence and this is what he calls symptomatic readings or symptomatic reading of two texts whenever you're confronted with the text with an ideology with propaganda with a speech with with a piece of advertising with a message there's a hidden one each text has a hidden text and in order to get to reality to events what's really happening existence you must be you must have access to both texts both texts and you must read them in a specific way what Altos are called symptomatic reading and possibly deconstruction it's there are similarities so he says that symptomatic reading of the two texts divulges the undivolved event in the text that it reads so when you read the text symptomatically you suddenly discover things that are not mentioned in the text end in the same movement relates to it a different text present is a necessary absence in the first so when you read when you confront it with a message a speech Act a statement um an appeal or day-to-day conversation you must read it symptomatically you must ask yourself What's missing what are the parts that are missing from the text and then when you do this you discover a different text and that different text is a necessary absence it's it's exactly like um let's say figure and background the background defines the figure it's very critical although the background is absence is the absence of the figure but it's still very critical to the figure contrast Max reading of Max reading for example of Adam Smith presupposes the existence of two texts and the measurement of the first against the second but what distinguishes this new reading from the old is the fact that in the new type of reading the second text is articulated with the lapses in the first text Marx measures the problematic contained in the Paradox of an answer which does not correspond to any questions posed altuser is contrasting the Manifest text with a latent text which is a result of the lapses distortions silences absences repressions denials in the manifestics the latent text is the Diary of the struggle of the unposed questions to be posed to be answered to be considered they want I mean this repressed speech acts these repressed topics and questions they want to erupt they want to explode that's that's a fight between the true self and the false self in the narcissist the false self is the manifestics the truth of is the latent text ideology says altuza is a practice with lived in material dimensions it has costumes rituals Behavior patterns ways of thinking the state employs ideological apparatuses isas to reproduce ideology through practices and through Productions so the state users organize religion the education system the family organized Politics the media the industries of culture would have abhorred Jordan Peterson's message he would have considered him a waiting or unwitting tool of this um orwellian work all ideologies says altuza has the function which defines it of constructing concrete individuals as subjects such as what the answer according to altuser subject to the material practices of the ideology so the ideology takes people and converts them into homoeconomics for example into consumers and this the creation of the subjects is done by the acts of healing or as uttuza call it interpolation interpolation says hey you come over here hey you come over here that's interpolation these are acts of attracting attention hailing forcing individuals to generate meaning interpretation forcing them coercing them to participate in the practice economic practice and the social practice these theoretical tools were widely used to analyze for example the advertising and the cinema Industries so the ideology of consumption which is undeniably the most material of all practices it uses advertising to transform individuals into subjects into consumers it uses advertising to interpolate individuals to hail them to call them the Advent the advertisements attract attention they force people to introduce meaning into the text and as a result to consume the most famous example is the use of people like you buy this or that in advertisements the reader or the viewer is interpolated both both as an individual people like you and as a member of a group people like you the division occupies the empty imaginary space of the you in the ad this is it's like chair work in therapy this is ideological misrecognition first many others misrecognize themselves as that you an impossibility in the real world and secondly the misrecognized you exists only in the advertisement because it was created by the advertisement it has no real world correlate it's a piece of fiction uh social practices such as advertising propaganda Cinema culture and art generally religion of course they convert you into a piece of fiction they impose on you and narrative a text which is not you and you're struggling to find meaning in this and when you're struggling to find meaning in this you collude you conspire with the text to subjugate you to force you to practice in a certain way this is gaslighting in effect if you want to apply to narcissism and psychopathy it's confabulation it's Gaslight the reader or viewer of the ad is transformed into the subject of and is subjected to the material practice of the practice of the ideology consumption for example but it does not denying that altusa was heavily influenced by Marx the dominant mode of production in his days and even more so today was capitalism the implied criticism of the material dimensions of ideological practices should be taken with more than a grain of salt interpolated by the ideology of Marxism himself out was a generalized on his personal experience and described ideologies as infallible omnipotent ever successful ideologies to add to the were impeccably functioning machines which can always be relied upon to reproduce subjects with all the habits and thought patterns required by the dominant mode of production that of course is manifestly untrue especially after 1989 when we saw all systems crumbling whole ideologies crumbling actually since the 1940s when Nazism crumbled fascism crumble communism crumble if anything ideologies are the least successful ways of interpolating people religion was much more successful and this is where Ultra fails trapped by dogmatism and More Than A Touch of paranoia he neglects to treat two important questions he's problematic maybe didn't allow I mean the questions were excluded by his own problematic because ironically he's problematic his theory his work it's a text it's also an ideology it also omits represses denies ignores certain questions so the first question is what do ideologies look for why do they engage in the in their practice what is the ultimate goal of ideologies and the second question is what happens in a pluralistic diverse environment rich in competing ideologies art was a stipulates the existence of two texts manifest and hidden or latent the hidden texts text coexists with the open or manifestics very much as a black figure defines the white background the background is also a figure and it is only arbitrarily the result of historical conditioning that we bestow a preferred status upon the figure not the background the latent text can be extracted from the manifestics by listening to the absences the lapses and the silences in the Manifest text itself but what dictates these laws of extraction how do we know that the latent text that we expose is the right latents surely there must exist a procedure of comparison authentication and verification of the latent text or is it a free form if it is a free-for-all we would all come with competing latent texts because the universe of what's left out of an ideology is infinite a comparison of the resulting latent text to the Manifest text from which it was extracted would be futile because it would be recursive self-referential this is not even a process of iteration it is total logical there must exist a third Master text a privileged text historically invariant reliable unequivocal unambiguous indifferent to interpretation Frameworks universally accessible at temporal non-spatial third text which of course incorporates all possible texts the Manifest and all the latents the third text is complete in the sense that it includes both the Manifest and the latent as adjusted actually it should include all the possible texts IF function is a complete Library the historical moment will determine which of these texts will be manifest and which will be latent according to the needs of the mode of production and the various practices I agree with it not all these texts will be conscious and accessible to the individual but such a third text would embody and dictate the rules of comparison between the Manifest text itself and the complete text so as to derive the latent text only through a comparison between a partial text and a complete text can the deficiencies of the partial text be exposed it makes its tends to reason a comparison between partial takes the latent and the Manifest will yield no absolute or certain results and a comparison between the text and itself is Altus suggests to do is absolutely meaningless stautology in this third text what is it it's the human psyche it's psychology or if you wish personality we constantly compare texts text that we come across visual texts I don't know YouTube videos written text other texts behaviors around us people people around us are ticks we our workplace is a form of text text is simply how things are organized to make meaning to generate meaning so we constantly compare the text that we come across to this third text a copy of which we all carry with us and it's called being human we are unaware of most of the text Incorporated in this master text of ours we are unaware of what it means to be human in the fullest sense of the world is a lot of it is obscured by resistances defense mechanisms traumas dissociation Etc when we are faced when I'm with a manifest text which is new to us we first download the rules of comparison The Rules of Engagement from our Master texts from inside our heads we sift through the manifestics We compare it to our own complete Master text our psychology our personality and see which parts are missing and these constitutes our idiosyncratic latent text the Manifest text is universal the latent text is individual individual idiosyncratic unique to each and every one of us the Manifest text serves as a trigger which brings to our Consciousness appropriate and relevant portions of our own third complete text it also generates the latent text that is unique to us and inside us if this sounds familiar is because it's a pattern of confronting the Manifest text in comparing it with our Master tags and storing the results latent takes and manifest takes that are brought to Consciousness this pattern I repeat confronting the manifestics comparing the manifestics to our psychology which is the master text the third text and then storing the results of the comparison the latent text generated and the manifestics and both of them are now in consciousness this is used by Mother Nature itself take for example DNA DNA is a master third text DNA includes all the genetic biological texts and Jung said it includes also Collective unconscious whatever that means so the DNA includes all the genetic biological texts ever written some of these texts become manifest we we are in the manifestics most of these texts actually remains latent so a tiny minority of our genetic material Express is expressed the rest is latent hidden only stimulating the environment um Can provoke the vertex the DNA to generate its own hitherto latent objects and make them manifest and the same applies of course to Computer Applications use a tiny minority of the functions of your of your software the rest is latent but you can trigger it the third text therefore has an invariant nature it includes all possible texts and yet it is changeable by interacting with manifestics this contradiction is also is only apparent though the third text does not change only different parts of it are brought to our awareness as a result of the interaction with the manifestics so there's an Ever kaleidoscopic Ever shifting river-like flux in our third text in the complete text where parts of it emerge into Consciousness and become the manifestics then they are submerge and become unconscious or Shadow then they emerge again and submerge and emerge as a constant Vortex constant Whirlpool constant you know flow and so on the third text is the totality never changes is immutable but which parts of it are manifested in which parts of it the latent this is determined by us and our environment especially our environment and awareness is the lens the projector the flashlight The Torch which identifies the manifestics that is an excellent definition of consciousness um we can also safely say that one does not need to be in Alto Syrian critic or engaging scientific discourse to deconstruct a problematic every reader of text of any text whenever you come across a text a text could be another person remember whenever you come across the texture immediately and always deconstruct the text the very Act of reading watching talking having sex loving these acts involve comparison with a third text which which you are and inevitably lead to the generation of latent texts or your unique latent text and this is precisely why some interpolations actually fail ideologies are not fail proof as altuza wanted to convince us many interpolations fail the subject deconstructs every message even if he is not trained in critical practice even if he doesn't know how to do symptomatic reading he still does it's it's reflexive it's instinctual the subject is interpolated or fails to be interpolated depending on what latent message what latent text was generated through his comparison of the manifestics with his own vertex every person is a third text and the third text as an engine embedded engine probably from birth what can't may be called categories I don't know analytical categories I'm not sure but there is an engine in the third text which which every single person is and this engine is slightly paranoid slightly hyper Vigilant slightly suspicious and tries to read between the lines of every manifest text so we generate latent text automatically instinctually and because the third text includes all possible ticks the subject is given to numerous competing interpolations offered by many ideologies mostly at odds with each other the subject is is in an environment of competing interpolations especially in this day and age of information clot the failure of one interpolation normally means the success of another interpolation someone else some other manifestics whose interpolation is based on the latent text generated in comparison process so when you confront the text the Manifest text you use your own third text to generate a latent text and if there's a match you're interpolated and sometimes you have a manifest text of your own or you have a latent text generated by another text I mean there are numerous possibilities here um so I wouldn't be so linear like manifest text interpolation action I don't think it's true I think there are several other stages in the middle manifestics into attempted interpolation third text in the recipient in the subject the psychology of the subject a generation of a latent text comparison of the latent text to the manifestics and then if there's a match interpolation works if not then the subject exposes himself or herself to another interpolation another ideology there's a competition going on the failure of one interpolation normally means the success of another interpolation whose interpolation is based on the latent text generated in the comparison process or on a manifest text text of its own or on a latent text generated by another Texas how many possibilities there are they are competing ideologies even in the most severe authoritarian regimes even in not in Germany sometimes the states use these use mechanisms within the same social formations and these mechanisms offer competing ideologies so you have the political party you have the church you have the family of the army of the media you have the civilian regime you have the bureaucracy and they all compete because they all give you an ideology ideology is a way to organize your access to reality your perception and to assume that interpolations are offered to the potential subjects successively and not in parallel this is not true it defines experience it's counterfactual it simplifies that the thought system ifies the theory but it's nonsense we are exposed daily to hundreds of competing ideologies many of them with latent text actually they don't even come with manifestics clarifying the how though does not shed light on the Y advertising leads to the interpolation of the subject to affect the material practice of consumption put it more simply there is money here there's money involved so you know we understand this we advertise to interpolate you to buy my product I get this but other ideologies propagated through organized religions for example why do they do what they do the output of organized religion is prayer and a lot of money in the case of the Catholic church for example so is this a reason could this be the material practices they're looking for I don't know prayer seriously money prayer the variability to interpolate are they representations of power over other human being is it all about power ultimately are we all power crazy the business concern the church the political party the family the media the culture Industries are they all are they all looking for the same thing influence power might is this the only explanation of why we interpolate absurdly interpolation is used to secure one Paramount thing the ability to interpolate so interpolation is circular we interpolate so that we have the power attacked happily behind every material practice there's a psychological practice very much as the third text your own personality stands behind every text latent and manifest the media could be different especially social media there's money involved the spiritual prowess the physical brutality the subtle messages there's influence but everyone even individuals in their private lives everyone is looking to hail and to interpolate other people to manipulate them to succumb to material practices social media is the greatest proof of this when we were given the choice when we are given the opportunity when we were provided the technology we all started to produce texts manifestics and we all try to interpolate people to give us likes to buy our products a short-sighted view would say that the business manager interpolates in order to make money but the important question is what ever for what drives ideologies to establish material practices and to interpolate people to participate in these material practices to become subjects ultimately the will to power Adler adlerian View the will to power Franklin would have disagreed he would have said it's the will to meaning Freud would have disagreed he would have said the will to pleasure but meaning gives us power at the very least over ourselves and pleasure is a manifestation of power derivative of power the wish to be able to interpolate is critical it is this cyclical nature of atusa's teachings ideologies interpolate in order to be able to interpolate and then they become ideologies it is this dogmatic approach ideologies never fail I think these are the reasons that His Brilliant observations were doomed to Oblivion they simply have nothing to do with reality and so in altus's writings the Marxist determination remains as over determination this is a structured articulation of a number of contradictions and determinations between the practices this is very reminiscent of Freud's dream theory and of the concept of superposition in quantum mechanics the third text is not like the human psyche it is the human psyche the third text is the complete text it produces a latent text by interacting with the Manifest texts there are many there is many third texts as there are sentient intelligent beings the completeness of the third text is only in relation to the individual whose psyche it is and so there can be no Universal vertex no reality out there we have 7.7 billion third texts and they're all equally valid but Valley for one individual this is known in philosophy as the inter-subjectivity problem it puts in grave doubt the very possibility for empathy my solution essentially solipsistic we all live in bubbles of meaning our problematics are idiosyncratic and really non-communicable hermetic there's no Universal or Global Master text so we can never communicate truthfully or access the mind of another person each individual has his his or her own Master text and this master takes inevitably reflects his or her cultural social values histories preferences traumas you name it even dissociated material is relevant to you it's a part of the latent text ideology is a complex all pervasive all-encompassing narratives the main role of ideologies is to reconcile and smooth over the gaps between observed reality and constructed reality ideologies use numerous mechanisms to help us to collude in the suppression of ugly and uncomfortable truths or questions that cannot be answered cognitive dissonance is often employed ideology teaches the interpolated individual to reject is undesirable that which he or she cannot have or cannot understand even if you secretly want to possess something even if you want to understand but you can't you will reject it your reject it is bad as evil delusions are induced what you see with your own eyes ideology tells you is not real is not true you are mistaken to believe your senses delayed gratification is exalted sacrifices in this world uh Peterson's suffering they are rewarded in the in the Hereafter or later in your own life and this is where both Lush and seamlessly merge into intellectual Trends in the 21st century okay this was the second lecture in in the cycle the prophets of narcissist stay tuned for the third which will be coming next year have a happy New Year all of you despite having listened to this lecture and we'll see each other hopefully in the flesh sometime next year vaccine permitting and outwards are willing

Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin

Views: 125,640

Keywords: Communication, cipher, code, speech, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths, antisocial, cold therapy, cold empathy, psychopathology, therapy, relationships, abuse, psychotherapy, personality disorders, cluster B, self, object relations, psychodynamics, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, borderline, psychology, psychiatry, pathology, inverted, compensatory, shared fantasy, psychopath, somatic, cerebral, narcissist, language, semiotics, semantics, obfuscation, ambiguity, equivocal, incomprehensible

Id: 6IritJMUivE

Length: 146min 20sec (8780 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 16 2023