My Parents' Most Embarrassing Stories (It's Really Bad)

all right there you have that okay so we did this segment on the podcast where we all shared an embarrassing story right and a controversial slash unpopular opinion so i'm figuring you guys have had these long fulfilling lives gotta have some good stories so who so mom you wanna go first with an embarrassing story how about if you let dad go for her you go first yeah you go first you want dad to go first all right i'll go first go ahead it's really it's horrendous really it's horrifying i mean i asked dad if i should tell it and he said well it's a good one but oh my god i can't believe i'm actually sure it is for people i love it thank you okay so it's kind of along the vein of your discovery of the dildo wow where is this going oh my god so i don't know what it is with you guys that you're always getting into our stuff that's obvious of course the kids get into this stuff you have to assume not the not the good child sorry to interrupt you please bro my brother was the one leading the way are you crazy oh god by the way when you are gone all the time and you have young boys at home and probably i'm not a girl so i'm assuming girls do this too they're looking through everything no but you guys were looking for money okay and jessica didn't see this childhood criminal jessica was looking for money but you said i was looking for money no no didn't you jessica oh she was looking for money ethan's sister we were looking for porn jessica was looking no she wasn't looking for porn i was saying the boys were looking for porn the girl was looking for okay more important than money yeah well oh my god so your father used to keep important things in his suit pocket so you in the closet had a suit and you would keep important things in the suit pocket pretty tricky hide things yeah i never found that stuff okay well i did jessica and you know your father and i were healthy normal sure young people absolutely you know and we had a normal don't say it sex life i knew where you're going don't say that and your father who's a little pervert no he's not a person he's a little perverted no he's not perverted he's a healthy man you he's a pervert okay say that about him your father wanted to take pictures and there were no cell phones no cell phones so [ __ ] glad i never found those oh my god oh my god so yeah polaroid pictures and your sister got into the closet looked into dad's suit looking for cats he's a good searcher i can't believe she did this so she comes up to me one this is my many years later she was like in junior higher high school oh my god how horrifying oh my god so years later she says to me mom i have to confess something and she told me i was horrified wait what what what kind of photos are we talking about i brought something else we can't even go there you brought some i when when i'm talking about like graphic oh yeah we're talking real great oh yeah what is wrong with you guys oh again these days right people never use their i will even i mean thank god we didn't have a phone to probably be all over the internet what's on your you don't have that [ __ ] on your phone now dude no no no no no that's another story all together but we won't go why would you guys have that you know i made him burn those pictures you did you burned them i made them they got shredded actually i like the burning oh no i just i could not believe that actually you made him burn them after we found out you know oh and we were gonna move and he had those things this before jessica found out and for some reason you had them under your under the mattress at first oh that's a bat and then we were moving and i said oh my god where do you have those pictures okay how many pictures are we talking about like three or four or like 20. no no no they're like four ten maybe ten there weren't that many okay i think they were like four more though and so jessica comes to you how many years later this was much later she was in her 20s and she had she had to confess and what was the tone of the confession was it like uh she goes you know i have to i have to finally confess she was holding on to something really yeah she needed to spill her guts somehow it really you know terrorized her i don't think she got traumatic stress i don't think she got past the first photo which is like oh i'm disgusted i don't want to look at anything oh my god it sounds like the first photo was bad enough oh my god it was horrible so and so she was feeling like something horrible and she needed to tell you and how did you react well how would you react i mean i was horrified i went oh my god i just was i was horrified conversation i don't know a couple of minutes but it was long enough i was just [ __ ] i was just horrified mom used it oh my god what did you say she used it yes incorrect pronunciation and also you don't get the bonus just trying to remind her no i just i didn't i didn't use the photographs i they were they were they were gone you guys have not are not saying it right anymore you guys have collectively changed the pronunciation of the word maybe for the better i can't tell you either money here yes yeets no i think we've gotten kanye in here somehow uh eat eat i knew there was a tea eat eat wow that is a really good story oh my god i cannot believe i actually told you our older sister jessica is 10 years older than me so she's quite a bit older so she has experiences that are very different than mine and my brothers because me and my brother are two and a half years difference we grew up together right yeah i didn't know anything about this oh i didn't that was something i held real close to my job that's way worse than the dildo story isn't it uh uh they're both yeah yeah definitely because one is an article one is way worse one requires your imagination the other does not require your imaginations can i ask you guys a question did it feature both of you guys or one of you no don't even say anything don't even don't even go there don't even go there is what you saw no i don't that i draw the line no both bodies in some manner gary why did you even share that so how did you take the photo was it on auto timer it or something okay no no because then you're going to get into what the photograph is about i don't want to know what the photograph is about trust me allow us to demonstrate know speaking of hold on did you do a selfie with the polaroid is that how you took it no no you just take a picture of things that are happening but you said both bodies were in it okay let's not go there correct let's not go there you guys stop it's not that hard to figure out it now that's the way she could ever stop oh my god i didn't know that i didn't know that's where it was going cut cut it cut it oh my god so look at see now we've we've traumatized our other child i warned you i have a story for you it's about jessica also she wanted to know where babies came from was this before or after finding the photo no this was yeah no she wanted to know where babies came from she said mom i really want to know you know because we're learning about this stuff in school and i don't get it and so i said you really want to know how old was she i mean when i had no i mean when is sex education it's it's in middle school probably 13. yeah it was she was young yeah like 13. yeah so i told her exactly what a man has to do right to make a baby and she said oh my god that means you've done it twice yeah mom said here jessica look at this polaroid because if you weren't born yet it was out of our minds i know you guys burned the physical copy but let's burn the mental copy now please okay that's pretty funny you know i have a story to tell too really uh oh uh oh well it's not about me is it i heard you guys doing it one time oh god because my bedroom it's not that bad i was in the bedroom next to you guys at our old house and so i heard you guys it was like i don't know six in the morning or something and you guys were doing it and i didn't look or anything i just heard it and so i ran into sean my brother's bedroom and i said sean we're gonna have another mom's have another baby because i thought it was just one shot right yeah and sean was like go back to bed that's not how it worked and i was so shocked i was like what do you mean they're having sex we're gonna have another baby but i'm so excited not that i was like so excited i was like i think i told him i'm gonna be an older brother oh god that's so cute yeah in a weird way mangled with repulsive sean was always uh ahead of his time there and knowledge knowledge yeah wow that is a really good story mom you brought the big guy oh god i'm proud of you for bringing that out though because i can't believe i said i shared that oh and oh ethan's gonna pay for that story well you know come on you see celebrities getting caught up in the weird photos that come out i mean you guys aren't celebrities you're my parents no i don't know how are you we're celebrities now but what's your point is that other people have i mean it's not unusual for people to no i know you know no you're right i just so just got to keep it it's just safe you just don't want your kids to find things like that so dad you got one you want to show all right your turn oh okay let's have a break and then when we come back my dad is going to share the time that he um embarrassed myself yeah i was trying to think of something funny but let's just throw it to break we are back from break thank you for watching dad do you have a story for us i might be able to come up with one can you top that i had a lame one that i was gonna do but since mom was so forthcoming with her embarrassing story i'm going to go with the actually more embarrassing one what ooh this goes back to uh mid 70s i think i was in outside sales for a large carpet manufacturer so my job was driving up and down the coast from like glendale all the way up to paso robles calling on accounts it was a good job a lot of driving but you know good relationship building uh anyway one of the clients of this company uh i knew a bunch of people there uh they were one of the women that worked i remember kelly who worked at a i do um her father was one of the four founders of some company called ibm and they had a house in hidden hills yeah that was beautiful house first time i'd ever been in there and it coincided with the muhammad ali leon spinks fight and they had a bartender there and everything and and so was for dinner and drinks and i've never been good at knowing my limit with alcohol like they invited the carpet salesman to the party well i i knew people at the party my boss was invited also so it was a bunch of people in the carpet industry like the carpet companies the three companies that they were the closest with got invited along so it was kind of industry and friends party no spouses were invited because i wasn't at that party i don't know this might have been seventies i know i knew when you worked there no i know but we were separated for part of it also so whatever the circumstances were anyway covered 30 year old beef possibly bartenders there and i start drinking tanqueray tonics just to enough is it the fact that it's free that you push yourself too far because i know you have a passion for free things free is good free always tastes better you have this you have this need of like it's free i need to get as much as possible that's human nature i think well i don't know if that's human nature it's that's dairy nature your father doesn't know his limits when it comes to alcohol yeah so i have a hard time walking that line between wow i'm feeling really good and wow the room is spinning so uh had drinks the fight was on ali lost shocking upset and keep drinking we go sit down for dinner and all of a sudden i'm not feeling very good and i excuse myself and i stumble into the bathroom and start uh what are they praying at the porcelain throne there yeah so i you know on loosen my tie and i'm all dressed up you know uh and just start hurling into the toilet and i ended up passing out oh my god in the bathroom you've never told me this oh all these all my peers from the industry and my boss and all these other such a degenerate and just like passed out for 30 minutes or so i think and then clearly sheepishly came out at the end yes there's a chapter i would like to not remember but did anybody comment on your disappearance do people know what was happening oh well yeah i just wasn't there no no one really said anything aside from pitiful glances i think and i'm sure it it's terrible echoed through the industry i was in you know what a fool i made of myself so that was a good embarrassing story that was it yeah that was bad that was worse than falling off my shoes huh well hold on so you come back you sit back down at the table and did not resume everybody was done i think it was like time to leave oh so you come out you're probably still like pissed drunk right not as much but yeah i mean from there the details get kind of fuzzy like i don't know i think how'd you get home i think art my boss drove me home i think he didn't give you any words of uh again i don't remember no almost blackout drunk but that probably would have been better but uh your father does that you know when we were younger we went somewhere and you got so drunk that in the middle of the night you you opened up the closet thinking it was the bathroom and threw up all over your shoes readily puking story is not true well my dad for the record does not drink so nope yeah he's not an alcoholic right he's just very lightly on occasion and very heavily passover yeah very yummy wow that yeah you're a total degenerate i mean geez nice you didn't get fire you didn't lose your job or anything no i can't believe you never told me that story it's embarrassing i saved it to tell two million people watching on the internet i know i like your story about your when you worked at the department store well that was less embarrassing let's hear it while we're on the topic oh great i'm not going to have any embarrassing stories left this is it now or never okay just tell this story you know what you're gonna just blow your load like you're on team skeet team what team ski i was working at uh yo did you really make me uh repeat team scoot are you being paid off by them to for me to mention them on the show not that you're aware of you have a back deal going on i do not that i'm aware of exactly what they wanted out of that care package another box of goodies coming i was not going to mention it she brought it up if you recall that's true right i said cut it was funny though anyway i was working at uh what used to be broadway which is now macy's in the northridge fashion center uh which was destroyed in the northridge earthquake and i grew up uh literally a half a mile from the northridge fashion center and watched it get built piece by piece anyway uh working at macy's working i don't even remember what department i was in but uh i was a little bigger and more fit and uh back in those days big platform shoes were popular for everyone including men so like b boots had big heels on them i'm working the register and a guy comes up kind of suspicious looking guy gives me a credit card pays and you get that warning message you know like it's a code three so then you're supposed to you know stall and wait for security they have like a warning that it's like probably fraud right oh so you know they give out this you know security to section blah blah blah uh you know so i'm trying to keep the guy calm and yeah boy this machine is so slow and all of a sudden he gets hinky and bolts for the door now the correct thing dude would say i don't care what i don't own macy's whatever go goodbye good luck no so i go chasing after him so he runs out the door into the parking lot i go running after him in the parking lot as i run off the curb my heel hits and twists and i just go down in a heap sprained my ankle so bad miss worked for a week walked around on crutches so that was embarrassing anyone thank you for your value and effort mr macy actually called mr mr broadway he said sir we appreciate the effort but you're gonna have to miss week uh miss a week of work so you're fired that's right we don't pay workers comp either yeah no i yeah it worked out that's not that important that's more like you glorifying how heroic you are why was it relic yeah oh it's embarrassing to fall off your shoes not as embarrassing as the first story well nothing horrifying that was horrifying you're holding on to the really deep dark [ __ ] that was pretty dark about it mom didn't even know of that one so yeah okay very good thank you guys for sharing was our pleasure my mom took out the new she dropped the big nuclear bomb on that was that was nuclear that was definitely [Music] you

Channel: H3 Podcast Highlights

Views: 64,260

Keywords: h3 podcast, podcast, h3h3, h3h3productions, ethan klein, ethan and hila, families, embarrassing, cringe, weird, stories, childhood, child, story

Id: Au7S5JzJmVA

Length: 20min 40sec (1240 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 15 2021