My Nicotine Addiction

hi everyone welcome back to my channel if you're new here my name is Sophia and today I am beyond excited to share this moment with you I'm filming this a few days in advance but on January 29th it will mark one whole year since I quit nicotine it was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life you have to understand this is a goal that I never thought was achievable so today I wanted to share my journey and kind of walk through my experience because if this could Inspire even just one person to quit smoking then I feel like it's enough but before we dive deep into my journey I want to thank today's sponsor better help if you're currently facing challenges in your life or maybe you feel like you want support on your path to achieving your goals whether your goals are more concrete like wanting a career change or if your goals are more related to your feelings and emotions of like I want to get better at dealing with conf conflict if you're wanting support in these areas then therapy is something to consider it felt almost essential for me to have someone to talk to because my withdrawals were so intense and it left me feeling so depressed for many months I know therapy can seem very intimidating better help makes therapy a lot less intimidating for a lot of people right now they're offering 10% off your first month by going to betterhelp.com Sophia what I really enjoy about betterhelp is that you can choose your form of communicating to your therapist whether that's phone call video chat or messaging whatever feels the most comfortable version of therapy for you is what you should go with if that means you start off with messaging and then slowly work your way up to video chat when you feel comfortable I think building that trust with your therapist is really important so better help can match you to one of over 30,000 therapists in their network based on your needs your preferen or your location so if you find yourself in a small town and maybe you don't have access to professional help then better help would be a great option because everything is done online the sign up process is super easy you'll just fill out a quick questionnaire that will ask you questions about what challenges you're going through and what kind of therapist you'd like then you'll get matched with the therapist in most cases within 48 hours and then after that you'll schedule a session when it's most convenient for you and if you feel like your therapist is not a great fit you can switch therapist anytime at no additional charge join over 4 million people who have used better help to live a happier and healthier life click my link in the description box to get 10% off your first month or visit betterhelp.com Sophia I first got into vaping back in I want to say 2013 2012 2013 at the time I had some friends who were vaping and I would ask them to hit their Vape when we were out drinking and eventually I found myself craving it outside of a social setting which caused me to get my own I feel like I've been through every era of The Vape I would have to even add my own coils my own cotton and let me tell you that first hit after you change the coils it is the craziest head high My Lifestyle at that time was extremely Reckless I was partying every weekend you guys okay this is like Prime Time 20s I got into raving I was going to all these festivals I remember my sister was genuinely concerned about me you know looking back now I realized that I was just in my 20s having a good time but I picked up on a lot of bad habits during that time one of them being nicotine sometimes I would smoke cigarettes or sometimes I would stick with vaping or sometimes I would do both I mean there really was no sort of self-control and I just I just did whatever I wanted to do at some point there was this realization of how much nicotine I was consuming if I had a refillable Vape I was refilling it by the end of the day if we're referencing Jewel pods I would smoke one a day one of those pods are equivalent to a pack of cigarettes and I was crushing one of those a day I was absolutely out of control you guys so much to the point where I even quit vaping and only smoke cigarettes my logic there was that at least with cigarettes I had to one smoke them outside and two I would only smoke like 3 to four a day cigarettes was never something that I wanted to do all day but with vaping I'm taking a hit every 15 to 30 seconds every day eventually I caved and went back to vaping so essentially I have been addicted to nicotine for about 10 and 1/2 years I mean you would would never see me without my vape it was like an extension of my body it did reach a point where I felt a lot of Shame around it and every day I thought about it and just even feeling my heart race out of my chest all the time I knew it wasn't normal and I knew I was doing a lot of damage but I still didn't feel ready to quit obviously a big reason was because of my health but that wasn't the main Drive Factor if it was then I would have quit many many years ago everyone who smokes knows it's bad for you but they still do it sometimes that's just not enough for them to want to quit if you're not ready to do something then it's just not going to work like you have to mentally be ready and be willing to fight for it because no one else is going to get it done but you so fast forward to last year January 29th 2023 there was a situation that kind of occurred that basically woke me up I was in the car with my boyfriend and I was driving we were trying to leave a parking garage I drove up to the ticket station realized I misplaced my ticket so my boyfriend left the car to search for it while he was gone I was casually smoking my vape like I normally do but the windows were rolled up so all the vapor kind of was trapped inside of the car when he finally got back in the car it triggered his ass ma luckily we were close to his apartment so the drive wasn't too long because his inhaler was at home and keep in mind in the duration of our relationship he never just made me feel any type of Shame around it which Looking Back Now I really really appreciated because I know it wasn't easy for him someone who has asthma to be dating someone who is vaping literally 24/7 back to that night it felt like it was a scene from a movie but I'm just driving home and I'm just like sobbing contemplating my entire life like what have you become I felt so disappointed in myself that I had let my nicotine addiction go so far to the point where I was willing to put someone I love in a harmful State like that was just a very selfish thing for me to do and when I got home I remember pulling up my driveway and I just sat in the car staring at my vape and at that moment I told myself this has got to stop I decided I was going to quit cold turkey I don't know who thought this was a good idea but I knew it was now or never I always made these excuses like just one more year or just until after this crazy project you know like it it's just never going to feel like a good time and you just got to put your foot down and do it at that point I just felt like it had gone too far it's been been damn near 11 years of me addicted to this device I felt like it took over my entire life it controlled me it was the last thing I did before I went to sleep and the first thing I did when I woke up in the morning it's compromised my health my relationship and I was so done the withdrawals were so intense I mean I felt all of the symptoms I was depressed I was irritable I could barely get any work done because I correlated work with nicotine and caffeine and when I had those two things I felt Unstoppable it was crazy what that combo would do for me since that was my base level of how I was working every single day once the nicotine was removed from that I felt incapable of doing anything I had increased appetite so I was snacking like crazy I just felt so hungry all the time and when I would snack and eat something it would make me feel happy and you know I was just chasing for that dopamine hit I developed this really unhealthy relationship with food a couple months later I ended up weighing myself on the scale and realized I had gained 20 lb it's crazy because throughout the process I didn't even realize I was gaining the weight I didn't even notice I was looking different and there was this strange Duality between feeling so proud of myself for actually quitting nicotine it had been like 3 months quitting nicotine in and of itself was such a struggle but now I found myself in a deeper darker place of just hating the way that I look and not being happy in my own body I honestly debated on even sharing this part of my experience with you guys because I don't really talk about weight or things like that much on my channel um it's it's very personal to me because I have I'm someone who has always struggled with body image and body dysmorphia but then I realized this is just a part of my journey and I just want to be very truthful about my experience it became a point where it was more than just me snacking like I was binge eating throughout the night because I was constantly chasing that dopamine hit that I wasn't getting from nicotine any anymore so with the weight gain became this new challenge of getting my body right so that I could feel more aligned mentally and physically quitting nicotine and overcoming that really kind of put a fire under my ass and I felt like if I could do that then I could do anything it just really forced me to lock in and develop a lot of discipline I showed up for myself every single day hours in the gym put hours into my nutrition I even got into fasting and I'm happy to say that currently today I have lost all of that weight I'm just back to my pre quitting nicotine weight which is where I feel most comfortable and I couldn't be happier it helps so much to have people to lean on when you're having a hard time or you're feeling like you want to give in quitting any addiction can feel really isolated and I feel like it's in those moments of isolation where you start to have that inner dialogue and I feel like that's what causes a lot of people to break but when you have a community or you're surrounding yourself with people who are rooting for you that goes such a long way there's so many resources out there whether it's hotlines or you know local support groups therapy don't be afraid to ask for help you don't have to do it alone and I almost think it's crucial that you try not to because it's so much easier to give [Music] in there's been so many positive changes that has come out of this and I just feel so so grateful just alone the mental strength that I've built gives me so much confidence in other challenging areas of my life I I feel like I can achieve anything the end of last year I picked up on running signed up for my first half which was just a few weeks ago and I completed it sub to hours never thought in my life that was possible 13.1 miles you guys that wasn't something old Sophie was trying to do but here I am just feeling the best that I've ever felt physically I feel like back in the day I would think that I was healthy but there's no way I'm healthy if I'm constantly putting poison in my my body now I I feel like every part of my being just feels so aligned and and it feels really great for those of you on a similar Journey or thinking about quitting nicotine this is the ultimate self-love that you could ever give yourself there is nothing more important than our health again it's never going to feel like the right time but the sooner you have at it the faster your body can just recover from all the damage that's been done and if someone like me who is highly addicted can do it then I have so much faith in that anyone watching who's wanting to quit can do it too one year nicotine free and I'm never looking back thank you for joining me and celebrating this huge milestone I hope this video helps you in some way I hope that it gives you the push that you need in order to live your best life thank you guys for being here I love you all so much and I'll see you soon [Music] bye [Music] ch

Channel: Sophia Chang

Views: 165,402

Keywords: fashionista804, sophia, chang, asian, korean, artist, follow soso, month recap, weekly vlogs, A Week in my life, fitness, cooking, slow living, visual diaries, living alone, nicotine addiction, how to quit smoking, how I quit vaping, juul, nicotine, cigarettes, weight gain

Id: Z0wxPdiFPLw

Length: 14min 6sec (846 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 27 2024