My Husband Left Me When I Was 9 Months Pregnant!

AJ is starting off this hour in Cincinnati hey AJ what's up hi Dave how are you better than I deserve how can I help and I just have a question for you my situation is a little rough so I apologize for starting out your show on a horrible note but my husband decided to walk out on her marriage we couldn't marry for eight years and this was at Christmastime this past year and this was all while I was nine months pregnant with our third baby he yeah he he still contributing financially to our bank account however he is he's basically moved out with his sister that basically as soon as I got home from the hospital he was gone and he is at the point where he's pushing me to divorce and pretty much quickly he wants to get his own place and so he wants to sell our house super quick and I'm kind of coming with it to grips with the fact that you know and I'm a stay-at-home mom so I'm kind of understanding now I'm at the point where I'm going to have to become a full-time worker in my future I'm a believer in Christ so I know that he holds my future but I'm scared at the same time and you know if I find your daughter in the situation what what do I need to do for my financial future I'm so sorry that is scary very scary yeah so what in the world is he just I mean we'll gone off the ranch I mean that's just wild yeah he doesn't really tell you no I'm assuming it's because there's another person but he won't admit that ever and I've also recently found out that you know he's gotten himself into a $70,000 gambling debt that occurred two years ago when I thought we had been tithing to our church come to find out we want and he had been paying about 500 something a month just to pay that debt and that's that's kind of so that is that his name only yes correct okay and what does he earn a year he just got a new job where he's making a hundred and five thousand and I work part-time from home I make six thousand okay let's first establish that there that it's a normal human in your situation will be afraid and right after that you would be angry correct okay and then and and then while you're doing all of that you also have to stop and set those two things aside for purposes of negotiating with him because he's he's a world-class liar and manipulator because he's a gambling addict and so I know that I know that he's an addict because of the amount of debt and the fact that he was hiding all of it yeah okay and so one hundred percent of addicts and addicts will all shake their head with me our manipulators and Liars it goes with the disease okay so you got understand that's what you're dealing with and so a friend of mine that does divorce recovery says divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction and so you are in a business partnership with a person who manipulates lies and is addicted to gambling mm-hmm you will not let him listen to me carefully you will not let him set the terms of this divorce yeah he is not in control of this you are right you're going to take everything for those kids yeah and I think they're working because he makes makes the money the bulk of the income he thinks that you know he can control it oh it's the opposite you're about to control the bulk of his income it's called child support for three kids one that was just born the judge is going to knock the mathematics in the next week he's not gonna like of this process I'm telling you can you imagine going before the judge with a newborn right and this guy's a gambling addict I mean can you imagine how bad the judge is gonna beat the snot out of him okay so you totally are in a position of power here while you're afraid while you're angry you set those two things aside from a negotiators perspective you hold all the cards he's gotten on no pun intended okay you really got to hear that loud and clear because child support for these three kids on a hundred and seven thousand dollars a year it needs to be sub free constantia l-- yeah it's a big deal okay now what do you guys are on this home we're currently all about 115 we just moved in about a year ago so all there's a home worth I I would I don't even know to be on Rose it worth five hundred or two hundred I would say probably two hundred okay you got a little like what he then Maui okay yeah like I said I mean he knows a lot more than I do so is there anything in his 401k like fifteen hundred dollars not much at all like we have barely anything in savings so how do you have any other debts car I have I have my car and he has his car that I I leased my car so and that's it my name I know it's in his name good is the other car exclusively in his name yeah he just bought it like a week ago good so the judge is gonna about to give him two leased cars and you're gonna get you a beater that you pay cash for you need car payment right you say you got a big pile of child support no car payment no debt except maybe you keep this house that's a decision we'll think of later okay right hearing how this was going what do you think you're gonna do for a living I that's that's another thing I have an associates degree so anymore that was another in office administration teachers work I work from home still with the same job at full-time it's been about four years what did you make last time you work full time like thirty thousand okay so here's the last piece of the equation then okay yes you're going back to work yes you're gonna have a big pile of child support no you're not gonna have any car payments you're not gonna let him hand you that he gets these cars there in his name there his problem okay and this is your negotiation and you're in control believe me you're gonna get what you want in this negotiation if you will stand strong because you have the story to tell and he by the very nature of this story becomes the bad guy I'm not trying to beat him up I'm trying to protect your kids yeah and I got a $30,000 a year single mom with three kids on the line that's all I'm concerned about his welfare is not on my list of things to worry about right now okay right and yours either yours either right yours neither you didn't take him to race you took their mother for you to race but you can take this won the race okay well thank you sir and listen I want you to go through Financial Peace University is our gift we're gonna put you in the class and the one-year membership so you've got access to all the videos and I think you're gonna get a job making forty five on it you're gonna get a pile of child support and you're probably gonna be able to afford to stay in the house that's questionable right now but you don't keep the house if you can't afford it okay sell it and go rent something cheap and don't let this redefine your whole life this is just the beginning of the next chapter of your life kiddo I'm sorry this is the Dave Ramsey show

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Highlights

Views: 586,996

Rating: 4.8732681 out of 5

Keywords: My Husband Left Me When I Was 9 Months Pregnant!, husband left me, divorce, marriage, love, husband, my husband left me, wife, relationships, money and marraige, dave ramsey, ramsey, the dave ramsey show, money, show, dave ramsey show, dave ramsey live, debt, dave, family

Id: ZoDc318Q4AU

Length: 7min 55sec (475 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 21 2018