My Grievances with Medieval Times (the dinner show)

hear ye hear ye presented her most Royal Majesty first of her name ruler of the Hidden Forest which of the Woods girlfriend fairy and um macaroni Mundy Enthusiast Queen Rebecca [Music] well what did you expect you all kept calling me Queen on my social media it was only a matter of time before my ego became overblown and I tried on the crown for size you only have yourselves to blame Darlings By Royal Decree all subjects must plant their posterios and listen to their Queen's mad ravings failure to do so shall be punished with beheading of all your trading cards sorry I just had to change into something easier to draw you know there aren't many chances these days to gain the title of Queen it used to be a much more common thing everyone had a queen they had a queen and they had a queen but I don't got any Queens so go fish if I truly wanted to become a queen there is one place I could rule a kingdom [Music] if you haven't had the privilege of attending one of these magnificently cheesy dinner shows I highly recommend best way I can describe it is it's like professional wrestling except with swords and horses you cheer on your favorite stun performer competing in a fake competition with scripted drama and a predetermined winner just like professional wrestling in case you're unfamiliar here's how the whole show Works uh spoiler warnings I guess basically there are six nights all competing in the Queen's tournament to be her Champion as a paying guest you are randomly assigned to one of these Knights because choice is an illusion you sit in your night section you wear the paper crowns and you cheer on your guy for the whole night you also eat your food with no utensils because they didn't have silverware in ye olden days Your Filthy Hands to pass me the plague there's some dancing horses a falcon comes out and flies around but let's not be coy we all know why we're really here first the knights compete in some games look at him go then they fake joust each other do this perfectly believable fall off their horses and then they fight with pointy objects last night's standing wins and everyone lives happily ever after except the green night but we'll get to him in a second so yeah great evening you suspend disbelief pretend you're 10 years old and embrace your inner Ren Fair nerd for a night and wow they are having some fun with the fight choreography these days look at The Red Knight throwing his shield like Captain America here now when I was writing the script for this video it looked entirely different I had this whole running gag about how I was gonna usurp the Throne of the Buena Park California medieval times and tell some childhood stories yada yada but the more I wrote the more I realized that I have some grievances with this place that can be overlooked no more though don't worry I'm not gonna sit here and complain for seven minutes straight about how this show is about as historically accurate as a Disney movie We're Advanced these days we don't turn to cheap tourist amusements for our misinformation we have Tick Tock for that bear in mind this is all in good nature just some friendly suggestions feel free to give me free tickets Medieval Times first and foremost what the hell is up with the Torture Museum I mean I didn't go in there this last trip so I'm borrowing footage linked to the channel below but I have a very clear memory of this Torture Museum from when I was a kid and I can't be too sure but I think think it unlocks something dark within me well I'm gonna have a goth phase overall Medieval Times is generally family friendly but just two extra dollars gets you into this Museum full of devices illustrations and descriptions of torture that I have to blur or I will 100 be demonetized it just feels like a tone problem you got some tonal dissonance going on at your family-friendly establishment it would be like having a beautiful wholesome day riding rides at Disneyland and then when you get on Haunted Mansion an actor with a chainsaw jumps out and starts pelting everybody with body parts trauma for the whole family another thing that bothered me about these shows even as a kid one of the knights ends up being the bad guy and unless he's scheduled to win that particular show it's always the green night because as Disney has taught us green is a villain color look at this you also know he's evil because he's wearing antlers on his helmet horned villains those are o u t out so last season but villains with antlers those are all the rage these days when I was a kid I always felt really bad for the people sitting in the green night section like what about those kids wanting to have a good time they don't want to cheer for the villain you force them to be in the section that loses the hardest it's really no fun being forced to cheer for the guy giving the giant misogynistic monologue in the middle of the show you know what it's like it's like playing a story driven video game and suddenly there's a cutscene where your character does something really stupid in the plot and you're just left there holding your controller going hey what the hell I didn't tell you to cheat on your wife it's a total bummer and can ruin a kid's experience now I may be misremembering this entirely but I swear there were one or two shows I went to growing up where the plot was different the bad guy was the Black Knight in fact he was the reason they were even having the tournament in the first place to figure out who was gonna face him when he finally arrived and call me crazy but is that not a simpler more effective plot line than the Green Knight suddenly becoming a jerk out of nowhere and there's a bunch of dialogue about it that no one can hear because the crowd is too loud and the lav mics are crappy and it just feels like the stakes are higher you know there's an impending threat coming our way so I don't care if it ends up being my knight I'm gonna root for whoever can take down the freaking night King that makes the ending of the show that much more satisfying when the whole audience can rally together in support of their Triumph and night instead of one section just feeling really awkward and dissatisfied listen Medieval Times story is my thing and I'm a theater kid to boot you want a good narrative you want to put on a good show you give me a call we'll negotiate over some Mead now this next story isn't so much of a grievance but it is the reason that this video was written in the first place so I guess I gotta tell it back in my college days my mom my brother and my brother's best friend Brooks were all road tripping me back to animation school in Florida we stopped in Orlando for the night and needed something to do so we decided to go to Medieval Times and mom really treated us that night because she bought the VIP package and got us front row seats now something I didn't previously mention about this show is that whenever a knight wins one of the games he's competing in he gets to take a bunch of flowers back to his section and throw him at all the lovely maidens and you know it's kind of fun to get get one this is something so you know maybe I wanted one very badly and I was sitting in the front row too so a little hard to ignore all this happening just a few feet in front of you but the first time our night rode by with flowers he just completely ignored me he wouldn't even look at me okay no big deal he'll see me next time second time he came back with flowers I stood and waved and screamed yet he still would not even look at me excuse me men pretending to be Knight Maiden in need of flower right in front of you by the third time this guy returned with flowers and completely ignored me yeah lady was getting rather peeved so as he was riding by I stood up and screamed you well can you blame me I was vexed I mean really the audacity however her knowing to me I was about to be served some humble pie for dessert because about 10 minutes after I had insulted this man's Integrity our night returned to our section with a long Lance and something tied to the end of it he wrote up directly in front of me and swiftly pointed the Lance right in my face Hey listen man I know things got heated back there but I'm pretty sure impaling a paying customer will get you written up oh sorry yeah so I guess this show ain't half bad I might just be in a tad bit of a gripy mood because of this last trip you see when I went to get all this footage I paid for the VIP package so I could sit in the first row was hoping to get a flower or better yet that Nifty Banner again because it would have been great content but as you can see I wasn't in the first row my friend and I got to our assigned seats which were clearly in the second row and we were a bit confused we called our waiter over and said hey we paid for the VIP package we're supposed to be in the first row and this guy had the audacity to say oh this is the first row uh no good sir this is not the first row I know that because I can count can you apparently my dumb butt just didn't read the fine print on the VIP package turns out part of the second row is considered VIP as well not entirely sure where that particular waiter didn't just tell me that instead of trying to Gaslight me but you know Medieval Time I'm willing to let bygones be bygones here from what I can tell you could use some fresh blood in your royalty so Crown me queen of medieval times and I shall lead you to honor and Glory simple as that let me know what my coronation is make sure you have room for all my 4 million plus ones in the front row

Channel: Let Me Explain Studios

Views: 3,428,116

Keywords:

Id: y3TWVQJ9oes

Length: 9min 26sec (566 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 23 2022