You're just going to keep laughing I know, you're making me laugh It's hot in here.. (I know) Toasty Ok What do you remember about the first time we met? Man So you like got off the train, and I had pulled up and you like were like hey, and I was like wow and you did what you do every single time you get into uncomfortable situations and do a little dance moves or something weird and your body language was like really nervous -You were so nervous -it's awkward -And you were saying really weird stuff in the beginning Who has more power in this relationship? 90% of the time you do That's something I've always Admired you for and I tell you that a lot It's like you go into things knowing what you want, and how you want it done, but most of the time It's you - But do you like Want it that way? because I like feel like it's like I don't know Not in a controlling sense if that's how you think- I feel like it's like it gets pretty equal There are times where it gets absolutely equal (yeah) We're sharing this like sense of power I guess but um most of the time I would say you because I mean I would do anything for you. And you know that that's the thing you know it, okay? What are you hesitant to tell me? Oh my god I'm definitely nervous about like you eventually move into Los Angeles and being with me. The last few trips we've had have been like hard because we have to condense so much of what we want to do in like such a short amount of time and Umm I think I'm nervous to see like when we have like full time how we're gonna be getting along with each other and like how? it's gonna be obviously I want you to be there, But I am like nervous about it. What do you think's gonna happen like what is making you nervous about it besides the fact of us living together I just like don't want you to slowly coming to LA for me. Just you know in case Obviously I want this to work, but there's no guarantees anything And I just I would be I would feel really guilty of like it didn't work out and like you you know New York has been your dream for a while and you've been here for quite some time so I feel Pressure about it. You know cuz I I'm nervous that It's like you're not you act like you're like forcing me like you're and I've changed no. I want to yeah I want to and I know especially now like our communication has gotten better than it was like at the beginning because I Lo and behold. I'm really bad at I'm really good at holding things in But this is something that I want and like I'm very open and honest about that I think that We can do I'm very confident in us you know mm-hmm, okay? When was the last time you felt most alone in our relationship, and how do you feel about it now? There was that talk about like well, what if and like what if this happens or what if you do this or Whatever and it stemmed from the experience you had with it, but I felt alone because it was -what was it? Like experience with what -like with the people you've dated in the past that were also bisexual Oh, yeah, okay? although I was completely comfortable with who I was and Coming to terms with that and like my family knew and my friends knew and like I finally came out to it to like everybody What held me back for so long was the stigma like that exact stigma, and I was so afraid to share that with people because I was afraid that I was just gonna be involved with the stigma which was something that scared the hell out of me And how do you feel about it now? Now? I feel like it's almost like we joke around about it a lot like at the beginning I was like anytime we joke about it like even if it was a joke I would say that's not funny like let's not talk about it that makes me feel like crap because This is something I was hiding for so long But now it's like I could joke about it with you And I feel like you know me enough to like know that I would never do something like that. You know what I mean, yeah What is a sacrifice that you've made that I haven't acknowledged? I think that I have, you know my obvious fear, my reservation of that you've never really like been in a relationship with a woman before like serious like this and that scares the shit out of me. -Rightfully so yeah I feel like I brought that up once and I've never really Maybe I'm wrong have I brought that up a few times? yeah, but I feel like they're like it's like I don't know I feel like Maybe it's just something that I've let go because I know how much it bothers you when I bring it up I know it makes you feel insecure to you You have every reason and right to feel this way You are entitled to your own emotions and like I'm one for overthinking so like I can't even blame you for it But I'm not somebody from the past and I don't want to be somebody from the past I want to be here present with you. There's a reason I chose you and there's a reason you chose me and I love you, and I just don't think of Just because you're the first Serious woman I've dated like in an actual committed relationship. It doesn't change anything like yeah Not really in your head anymore Okay, so.. I can confidently say that I'm all yours And I've always been this entire time -okay Don't act like you don't have other questions to ask, you always have questions. (I am like really trying to think) You always have so much to ask, so much to say and I know that there's probably stuff that you've been too scared to ask me Because I know you have insecurities and stuff so like just ask it Let's let it all unfold! Yeah, just ask it! - No, humm I think the only thing what is I have always felt like when we were together like I was never your type And I felt that personally -My type? -Your "type" if that makes sense. - I always feel like.. -I am so confused to like what you think my type is.. -I'm like there's no way, you know it's probably just my insecurities. I'm like there's no way somebody this cool like is into somebody that like does this all the time you know what I mean Uh-huh, but what was so different between Like what made this happen, like what were you drawn to at the point like don't even like I'm not talking about like I mean like.. never mind I feel like I know what you're trying to say and I think like as you know like my history in relationships has been very painful and I've been cheated on a lot and hurt a lot. Ultimately I got into relationships with people that I knew probably weren't gonna work out in the first place because that's all I knew from my childhood and I got to a point with my last relationship after taking how long three years to like travel and work on myself and When I saw you you had everything that I wanted and I felt like I was always dating little girls, and you're like a woman It's the truth and you handle me like a woman and you don't interact with me like a little girl and That to me is why I find you my type Is that not what you wanted to hear? Yeah, yeah, I don't know I kind of because that sounds like I'm making different about it, but Well I know that you also feel like physically you feel like I've dated like a certain type, and I think that that is Maybe an insecurity, and I I don't - Absolutely -And it breaks my heart because I find you so beautiful I mean You're so beautiful and I That was like I mean how we met was like sheer like based on sheer photos like I was like damn You're hot so I stalked you for a while until you finally gave in right. I mean how many times did I have to be like? Hello, you're hot I want to hang out with you before you were like fine, and you finally gave me the time of day, but it took me time Why do you love me? I love you because you challenge me you helped me think outside of my little tiny box and I learn a lot from you. You know and it's not just about what you do for me I love you because of the way you are and it's always been that way Like ever since the moment I've talked to you I've just like I felt you like connection and that's so cliche to say but like I know you know what I'm talking about and just you're somebody that I just Even when you annoy me your presence is very much needed like when you're not around. Where'd she go, I need her so it's just your presence in your The way you carry yourself, and your aura and everything about you is just perfect in my eyes -You sure about that? - I'm very sure about that! We did it! Give me a high five. Yes. No. Cool. It's all me Cheers You could tell I'm nervous right now. -Yeah, I know I like watching this I don't know everybody is like It's coooool -I'm just like watching this unfold. -I'm just gonna not say anything That's when it gets worst. I know god. That's when it all goes down the rabbit hole -You do the weird stuff mm-hmm
