My 40 Days - facing the fear of failure | Caleb Meakins | TEDxAstonUniversity

thank you so when I came to finish school I really didn't know what I wanted to do like many people and my father was a civil engineer so it made sense to go study civil engineering so I decided that I would enroll in Loughborough University and do civil engineering at Loughborough but the thing that I worked out whilst I was at Loughborough was I had ideas upon ideas upon ideas and one of these ideas I submitted to the to the university's business school they had an annual competition so I submitted it and I won the social enterprise award which was some funding and support to bring an idea to life so I decided as University comes to an end this is what I'm going to go on to do I'm going to bring my idea to life so everybody at the end as they're reaching the end of uni says I'm going on to travel I'm going to grad scheme I'm gonna go on to do this I said I'm gonna go start a business and I was faced with what I can describe is just utter pessimism like the look on their faces was does he not know that four out of five companies fail does he not know the doom and gloom we're trying to start it on your own does he not know how hard it is and I was so frustrated by this this pessimism at the heart of it was fear of failure I came across this quote what would you do if you could not fail this question what would you do if you could not fail this question challenged me let it just sink him what would you do if you could not fail with regards to career with regards to your passions what you love hobbies sport music it was this question a challenge from this question and a frustration with society's outlook which led me to start my 40 days so I created this Facebook page and the idea behind my 40 days was I was going to go out and do challenges that people thought were impossible so I would do the challenges and then document it and put it on Shubin then write a blog and hopefully inspire people around the idea that actually failure isn't that difficult so I created this Facebook page and then the like start coming in and when the like stop coming in it means you can't back out you have to actually go and do it so as these challenges come flooding in as to what I should be doing I say okay I have to set some rules here because some of these things are questionable so I say okay just three rules one it has to be challenging - it has to be entertaining and three it has to be legal if it fits this cat categories I'll do it so as the challenges come in I create a website and I begin I begin and the challenges take different themes it's everything from tackling issues around our dreams and ambitions to our love's and then the things that we really want to do from from pursuing that person that we love so the career that we love and it's some humor some more serious things and let me tell you about one of the challenges so um it was going to a fast food chain and get them to cook your raw chicken now now picture this I choose McDonald's as the place that I'm going to do it at I turn up with this naked two kilogram chicken and I'm outside blocking up the courage to go in my wall my goodness what are they going to say so I go in and I've never walked into a place and caused such a reaction before this slimy naked chicken had everybody stopping eating and looking at this guy coming in with this animal and then behind the till the guy couldn't believe it he said what are you doing and I had to keep a straight face and just say I was just hoping you could cook my chicken he's a what I was like yeah chicken burger I don't know just cook it for me he's that Reggie where's he coming over come over look at this come over please within seconds the whole place was surrounding this chicken they said to me go to Nando's I went to KFC Kentucky Fried Chicken instead this may surprise you it may not surprise you but as I walked in It was as if they'd never seen a chicken before it was crazy but these challenges take different themes this one was around doing something that is impossible and thinking creatively about it another was about totally stepping outside of my comfort zone so I find it hard enough to get up and speak in front of people let alone sing so the challenge was go into a London underground tube and sing I think the fear is deeply rooted in the fact that I cannot sing so I was terrified so I turn up at this tube station and I'm like okay pluck up the courage get on the tube walk straight back off the tube I cannot do this I eventually pluck up enough courage to get onto this thing and I'm there I everyone I'm not asking for any money I'm just asking that you join in with me the song that I'm singing you probably all know is stand by me so let's go and I forget the words so I pull out my phone finally X I'm right let's go again when the night has come and the day is dawning and I hit the course darling darling stand by me oh and you know what not one person joined in not one person joined in I said you know what guys I just noticed no one joined in and the doors open I'm like oh my goodness okay come on in come on and sit down I'm like hey guys I'm not asking for any money I had zero percent confidence right now I'm just I'm just asking that you join in with me so I go again and this time when I hit the course I'm like darling darling Stan this builder joins in next to me fell out and then this lady joins in as well and we're singing like going for it I finally get to the end of the song think yes done it challenge over and this huge guy behind me is like come on sing us another one sing us and home I'm like I don't have another one he's okay sing that one again soon that one again I was that okay let's go again I tell you no lie by the end of that day I had the whole carriage singing with me there was a lady going I've been on tubes thirty years and not I've never seen anything like this when we got near the city one guy in a suit who just come front from a meeting or something was like 20 reason why not 20 remember them you couldn't make this stuff up but what I noticed was I went from 0% confidence to 100% confidence I don't think I could stand up here and try and sing that song to you as you can see I can't sing but by simply stepping outside of my comfort zone and really pushing myself I found that I was growing and learning and really really developing it was fascinating and I was finding that I was learning more and more lessons as I was doing this project so for instance my hypothesis was if I face my fear of failure enough times I will no longer fear failure it will no longer have a hold on me but I found opposite to be true I was getting more and more scared as the more I was getting rejected so I discovered actually fear is a sign that we are alive it's not a bad thing to fear failure in fact if you try and numb one emotion Brent brown talks about you you know all emotions so actually what's key is overcoming the fear of failure not the fear of failure itself this was an incredible discovery for me because I began to go okay how do I overcome this and that's a key thing for us how do we overcome the fear of failure because it is so crippling one of the most significant things I learned doing this project was around the challenge it was to lie down in a public place this wasn't that impressive it wasn't that impressive at all so I London Waterloo one of the busiest platforms in London leading up to rush hour lie down in a public place I get there I'm like who gave this challenge so they humoring me and I get in I'm like oh my goodness I don't think I can do this and fear just filled nose I cannot do this and I go up to the guy who's filming I'm like let me let's just let's just leave this one let's do another one or he's at me what's wrong with you this is all about facing your fears it's not okay he gets in position and I go back and forth in my mind I can't do this I cannot do this and I eventually pluck up the courage and just lie down on the floor it's not that entertaining it's not that impressive but something happened as I got up this sense of freedom this sense of liberation that filled me as I stood up was unexplainable I felt like I don't care what anybody thinks I don't care what anybody thinks and it was at that point I discovered that fear of failure so often at the core of it is caring about what other people think so deeply I thought these guys are going to think I'm crazy or they're going to think I've fallen over and cracked my head or something do you know what not one person came to check if I was all right not one person and you know what in life we don't chase our dreams we don't chase what we're passionate about so often because we care too much about what people who don't even care think about us so as I'm discovering these life-changing things I realize okay so if we are to really succeed if were to really go far in life we're going to actually have to break down these barriers step outside of our comfort zones in this book the 4-hour working week by Tim Ferriss it was it was actually in that book that this challenge was given to lie down in a public place he talks about you can measure the number of successes in life by the number of uncomfortable situations or conversations you put yourself in so you can imagine that the conversation and the girl you fancy telling her you have to face the fear of rejection or the promotion that you want stepping into the boss's office and say I actually deserve this or or finding funding for the business idea you have I can see it to really succeed you need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations but it's not easy it is really really hard and so often it's easy to come to something like this and say okay yeah I'll go home and and and and I'll try this I'll put myself in uncomfortable situations but actually it's so easy to talk about things but to actually do them is a whole nother matter so I'm going to throw the challenge back out at you today here now in a second I'm going to show you a video of a challenge that I did which was incredibly difficult and incredibly stepping outside of my comfort zone and then I'm going to challenge you yes you not the person next to you you to just stand up and sing any song you want but to just stand up and sing I sense fear filling the room right now to just go for it one of you may do it ten of you may do it but this is about you hear so let me show you this video now I was given the challenge to go into King's College London and take a lecture it was the most scariest thing I've ever done so I'm here at King's College London allowed to just walk on stage and take a lecture in in neuroscience students can you believe this Tech students thank you very much so my name is Caleb Wiccans I am taking the lecture today unfortunately our lecturer hasn't been able to come so we're going to be listening to me this is afternoon so I'll be speaking to you on nero science and the relationship it has been storytelling as i say my name is taylor yeah come in sit down sir I'm explaining to you the importance of storytelling when it comes to science and the intrinsic elements of this subject that we so so dearly love we're we're interested in it we are young we're clearly this we want to go more in life darling you look more honey yeah thank you the rest of you not want to it coming so 20 percent of universal antics teams will go far in life sorry this is not near silence what is it this is what coming year 1 that's what I meant storytelling is key storytelling is everything to get anything you like need to be able to take in the right pitch you need to be able to stand in front of a group of people and not know what you're going to say and stand up and just say it you need to deal with the face your fears in life because your visual hold you back the bits will stop you from persevere come on in wanted I'm mostly minkins Oh welcome up to my name is Cana meetings as I say I'm doing 40 days of rejection and this is me coming out of my comfort zone I'm taking on challenges that the Facebook page gives me and I'm overcoming things that I'm absolutely terrified of doing like taking a lecture to a bunch of king's college students I'm a lot quicker at graduate I don't know what I'm doing in doing this I just wanna encourage you to chase your dreams go hard philandering and come out your comfort zone because you will get far enough okay Mike I believe you so as you can see that was a sink or swim moment that was a sink or swim moment that was one of the most senior lecturers at King's College London who walked in the room I didn't know what I was gonna say and right now some of you are hoping that I've forgotten the challenge that I gave moments ago so right now it's over to you just stand up and sing very very good coming here that is good I believe that this is true life begins at the end of your comfort zone life begins at the end of your comfort zone these challenges have been so so difficult to go out there and do some of these things has been totally numbing and so I've had to come up with some tools to really help me and so five tools which really get me through some of these challenges are this one to really just go 20 seconds of insane courage is all I need 20 seconds of insane courage is running 20 seconds of insane courage is all I need to to speak to that person that I'm terrified of speaking to 20 seconds of insane courage is all I need to send their email to jump off that cliff in the context of bungee jumping it's just 20 seconds the second thing is to know what gets you going to what motivates you visualize your goal what do I want to achieve here the third thing is to ask yourself what is the worst that can happen I haven't find myself in situations where death or getting arrested is the worst that can happen in those scenarios this question falls short but in all other scenarios this is a good question to ask and then fourth I believe in God so I pray my socks off before each challenge I ask Jesus to help me get through this thing and then the fifth and and final one is to make a habit of this to really make a habit of of pushing yourself and pushing your boundaries and stepping outside of your comfort zone I honestly believe that that when you do that you grow and isn't it interesting that so many of those people we esteem as successes that they're that we look at now is as real leaders credit failure is the reason for why they got to where they are JK Rowling 12 publishers rejected her before she was accepted someone would have said after six just give up she's richer than the Queen we look at Walt Disney who was fired for for not being creative enough what did he go on to do and one of my heroes Michael Jordan says this I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career I've lost almost 300 games 26 times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed I failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed it's interesting because we learn so much more in failure than we do if we succeed first time and so there is every reason to value failure as a valuable experience and to embrace it and overcome the fear of it even in doing this project I found tremendous success initially when I went into it I thought okay maybe I'll get some job offers to come my way the job offers came flooding in and after day 16 an ad agency they wanted the leading ad agencies called Ogilvy and Mather said could you come and start with us on Monday I was like yeah sure and that's that that's toward the first phase of this project and it was an incredible experience and then further to that Nivea got in touch and they sent me a letter saying we're loving the project here's some deodorant to keep you fresh through your challenges and then gave me a challenge and then Saracens got me to come and do um three kicks that were halftime at one of their games I got one out of the three but we won't talk about that and then moreand run this annual competition for for graduate of the year and because of the social impact this project was having I was I was privileged enough to be giving there and then the opportunity to go and speak to places I find I'm going into companies and schools and universities and sharing the experience and there's no greater privilege in my mind and to inspire people to pursue what they're passionate about I went just last week into this company AKQA they do all the adverts for like unbelievable and got to really be inspired by what they're doing simply by by going in and talking to them and then finally today speaking of TEDx inspiring and the whole concept is it is unbelievable and it's an absolute honor to be here as I say I'm only halfway through this project so I'm kicking things off again in the next few weeks so taking challenges so I've just tweeted on my Twitter at my 40 days where you can sign up and get involved in these challenges so I welcome some suggestions but I kindly I want to end by giving you this challenge going forwards lie down in a public place and this is the quote I want to leave you with without failure there is no success thank you very much you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 127,235

Rating: 4.9281025 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United Kingdom, Life, Achievement, Behavior, Choice, Decision making, Failure, Future, Higher education, Initiative, Motivation, Personal growth, Self improvement, Students, Success, Work

Id: odcLP7gOGW8

Length: 20min 12sec (1212 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 06 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/kierang952]

A very inspirational and eye opening talk

[u/[deleted]]

Profound. Definitely makes you think.