MUST SEE: How you can communicate with someone AFTER they DIE

I have a joke about this woman who went to a Mystic to a fortune teller says I want to get in touch with my grandmother takes a couple of dollars from her and says we'll get in touch right away and all of a sudden there's this voice hello my grandchild and the woman says grandma that's you yes it's me and she says when did you learn to speak English this is not you a yard site is a very powerful experience not just in our imagination but in reality because there is so much more to reality than we are usually aware of so I want to tell you this story true story I was invited to speak for about a week worth of lectures in Argentina this must have been 17 18 years ago maybe more the trip from Minnesota where I lived to Argentina to Buenos Aires was a long miserable trip and this was a particularly bad flight I don't enjoy flying I don't know anybody who does it was miserable from Minnesota to New York New York Miami Miami to [Music] um Santiago Chile and from Chile to Buenos Aires it was a very long trip so when I get there I'm really looking forward to the hotel room to recover it was almost 19 hours the entire flight so I'm really looking forward to the hotel room what usually happens is the Chabad schlier picks me up takes me to a hotel I spend the night recovering and then the next day I can start the lectures so he picks me up and we're on our way to the hotel and he says you know there's a woman in the community suffered a terrible tragedy she is severely depressed she hasn't left her apartment in over six months she refuses to talk to anybody and we're very worried about her but she finally agreed to speak to you so we made an appointment and we'll stop at her apartment on the way to the hotel it was so outrageous it has to be on the way to the hotel he says yeah we'll stop there and you'll talk to her so I was really really upset I mean really upset first of all information I'll talk to her she's severely depressed you talk to her secondly she's been she's severely depressed six months it can't wait until tomorrow but mostly it bothered me no warning he didn't ask me if I want to you just went ahead and made an appointment but she's expecting us so there's no choice you have to go so we go there this woman was not among the living it's like she had died and nobody told her the room felt like death there was no life in her in the room in her in her color in her eyes and her tone nothing it was it was very scary and she tells me the story 19 year old son was on his way home from the country summer home arriving back in town in time for slihood it was in a car accident as he got close to the city his friends in the car survived and he did not then she tells me what an incredible boy he was incredible wise and mature and considerate and respectful and just wonderful all the virtues you would want so when she finishes what can you possibly say so I said you had such an incredible son [Music] you had him for 19 years that's amazing she was not impressed so I said the shock the sudden unexpected shock that's horrible but imagine if there was no shock if God had come to you and said there is this incredible nishama needs to be born for 19 years and I'm looking for someone to be his mother and if God would have said to you would you please be the mother of this boy for 19 years what would you have said thank you I was sure she would say yes she said absolutely not so without thinking I said well it's a good thing he didn't ask you the flood of tears that opened up that's been waiting for six months to come out finally poured out she cried her heart out and 20 minutes later she was back alive I saw a woman come back alive from the dead such an amazing experience probably the most dramatic moment in in 50 years of talking to people so now we're back in the car and we're going to the hotel room and I'm thinking I was so upset that they didn't ask me if I wanted to speak to this woman and then I realized if they had asked me what would I have said absolutely not and that would have been the wrong answer because it was such an incredible experience it was worth more than all the hotel rooms in the world so I made up my mind that from now on if something good can happen if I can be of any kind of service the answer is always absolutely yes that was my New Year's resolution two years ago I'm invited to speak in Mexico City it's not as far as Argentina but still it was an uncomfortable flight I finally land there the traffic from the airports to the city is impossible and halfway to the hotel the driver says to me you know this is not Argentina I said what you mean he says I'm taking you straight to the hotel no stops along the way I said that's very nice thank you very much he says at the hotel there's a couple waiting for you they suffered a terrible tragedy they don't want to talk to anybody anymore but they'll talk to you so when we get there you'll talk to them I forgot my resolution I was not at all happy I said can't it wait an hour no they're very upset they're planning on leaving town so you got to talk to them now anyway we walk into the hotel this beautiful young couple beautiful people he was the life of the party at the synagogue kept Shabbat he put on fill in he was a delightful human being the tragedy was a six-year-old daughter who died of an aneurysm which means she died very suddenly and they weren't home when it happened he is so angry at God he is not keeping Shabbat anymore he's not putting on fill in anymore it doesn't go to the synagogue anymore doesn't want to be part of the community anymore spoke to every Rabbi to every teacher to every thinker trying to explain make he doesn't want to hear any more it's done he's finished interesting how he said do you know why I'm so angry at God because I love him and he stabbed me in the back pretty difficult words to hear so I knew that I had to say something that most rabbis don't say so I asked him has your daughter visited you yet here's a little surprised by that he says twice I asked him what did she say he says she didn't say anything she just smiled kind of letting me know that she's okay I said why does she have to come twice it's because she's telling you two things she's okay and she could be happy but you're not letting her she is six years old see in heaven you don't get older if you die at six you remain six so she's still six years old she is still your daughter and it's very it's very heavy for her to know that you're not keeping Shabbos anymore you're not putting on fill in anymore you're angry at God because of her why would you do that to your daughter in fact when did you stop being her father you're so busy grieving and Mourning you forgot that you have a daughter you forgot that she's six years old and needs her father you don't realize how uncomfortable she is seeing you being so uncomfortable why don't you go back to being her father and do for her what a father does for a daughter he was a 10 minute conversation and he said should I put on the fill in now or should I wait till I get home and I realized the the lack of information that we have that cheats us of having the right experience when we say the shama doesn't die what do we mean by that what does it mean then the shama goes to heaven what does that mean so there's a non-jewish theory that the soul comes to heaven and becomes an angel becomes a malach and you know all the angels are the same that's not true when we save the nashama doesn't die it means the person doesn't die it's not just some living energy the same person that was here on Earth is now in heaven the same personality the same Memories the same character the same relationships so a six-year-old girl is still a six-year-old girl Somebody's Daughter she happened to have a good sense of humor not everybody does somebody actually asked me had lost his father and they were sitting around by the Shiva and they were making jokes say he turns to me and he says is that okay it's okay to make jokes I said I don't know your father if he had a good sense of humor I'm sure he's enjoying your jokes if he didn't have a good sense of humor cut it out because he hasn't changed so it's not that the nishama continues to live like like a nashama continues to live like the person he was when he was on Earth so when you speak to your grandparents you speak to your parent or God forbid to a child you're talking to the same person who has the same Memories the same connections if it was your favorite daughter she's still your favorite daughter if it was your favorite grandmother she's still your favorite grandmother nothing changes except the location and what happens unfortunately is that we forget we go into grieving we're told to sit Shiva so we get very serious and very religious about sitting shiva and we forget there is a person there's a relationship and that relationship needs attention just as it did on Earth so now I understood what happened with the woman in Argentina what did I say that made her cry I said it's a good thing God didn't ask you if you want your son because you would have said no why was that so dramatic when she realized she had said no if God asked her if she wants to be the mother of this boy she would have said no and when she realized what she had just said she was shocked I just said no to my son I don't want my son what kind of mother says that and she realized that she had stopped being a mother she was a full-time griever and that's where the tears opened up she went back to being a mother so on a yard site we're not talking about somebody who was gone we're not even talking about somebody who has changed the only thing that changes when you're in heaven rather than here is that you don't have a yet Sahara so all the negativity all the foolishness is gone but the character the person Remains the Same now the joke about this woman who went to a Mystic to a fortune teller she says I want to get in touch with my grandmother and the fortune teller tell you takes a couple of dollars from her and says we'll get in touch right away and all of a sudden there's this voice hello my grandchild and the woman says grandma that's you yes it's me and she says when did you learn to speak English this is not you the soul doesn't change if we didn't speak English here it doesn't speak English in heaven so a yard site is a very meaningful and personal and real experience the same of course is true with yisker so a few years ago in Minnesota it was an influx of Russian Jews and one elderly couple who had been Professionals in Russia when they came to America they had to uh they had to clean houses to support themselves so they were working in our house it was an older man he was in his 70s I said to him come let's put on to him he says no no the torte said my father did that that thought that's not for me the next day I asked him again he said no no anyway I kept asking him and eventually he figured okay I will anudnik fine I'll put on the throne we start putting on the tillen and he starts making the bracha and suddenly he starts to cry which is kind of common but listen to what he said he got so emotional he started to cry he says the daughter my father did this so yesterday that was a reason for not doing it no I don't now all of a sudden it's wow I'm putting on food just like my father so see what was waiting just under the surface so when he said no that was not him talking that was communism that was the effects of Communism that was not him when he put on the villain and all of a sudden was like oh my God my father did this if you enjoyed this conversation or this topic and you're looking for more information or you want to hear it again from another angle there's a way to do that and that is in this book it's all there order it from Amazon you can read it reread it and share it we have a Sunday night program for VIPs that you might be interested in it's informal it's questions and answers it's conversation it's really relaxed it's really Pleasant enjoyable informative and that kind of community-like it's a Sunday night program there's a Wednesday morning program for the VIPs and there's a Wednesday night program all of it just conversation casual laid back unscripted so join us take a look click the link below and see which of the three suits you best and join us for some enjoyable conversation one of the big mistakes that people make in their marriage is that they violate the Border it sounds a little paradoxical you're there to become one and yet you have to respect the Border that gives each of the spouses their own space their own personality Independence and so on so if you violate that border if you cross that border you're you're violating the marriage so one of the tip-offs you can tell whether a person is thinking right in their marriage by the very common expression a husband says to his wife you know you should be doing or you shouldn't be doing this as soon as you start doing the thinking for your spouse you are crossing a border you're there to do your own thinking to play your role to make your contribution to the marriage as soon as you cross over and start doing the thinking for the other what they should do how they should act what they should say what they shouldn't say you've crossed the border and of course that doesn't work you can't do someone else's thinking for them of course you can influence that thinking but without crossing the border by being who you are and by doing what you ought to do you do influence the relationship itself one of you can make it better for both of you but as soon as you start thinking how she should make it better or what he should do to make it better you're out of control you're focused on something that you cannot control of course you're gonna get frustrated and you're going to get angry at the other because it's so obvious what the other should do and they're not doing it so who's at fault here the other sometimes it even goes so far as like I am not going to be nice until you straighten out and behave the way you should behave and until then I am not going to do what I'm supposed to do so where is this where is this going to lead where does this go so we have to watch our language because it expresses our our truest attitude we should never you see we should uh it doesn't work to tell the other what they should do because now you're out of your element you have surrendered control you've lost control not only over the relationship but over yourself because you're so frustrated by what the others should be doing so let's go back to being who we need to be the husband has to focus on his responsibility and his commitment to making her life better so whatever is going on his only thought should be what can I do to make it better so a guy comes and asks me in marriage counseling he says what can I do to make my wife happy you know what the problem is I mean it's so obvious you're asking me how to make your wife happy you know where she lives ask her foreign take her answer seriously believe her that that's going to make her happier even though it doesn't seem like something that you would want it wouldn't make you happier and so you find it hard to believe that it'll make her happier believe her let her thinking be independent of yours her opinion is independent of yours you're there to fulfill it so surrender to the relationship that is going to remove things and allow the two of you to actually blend and become one [Music]

Channel: Rabbi Manis Friedman

Views: 167,043

Keywords: education, educational, training, torah, judaism, chabad, religion, judaism beliefs, judaism definition, manis friedman, rabbi manis friedman, life, inspiration, inspirational, rabbi, life advice, advice, life changing, spiritual, spirituality, motivation, motivational, relationships, wisdom, ancient wisdom, hassidic, chassidic, chassidic wisdom, hassidic wisdom, jewish wisdom, jewish learning, jewish life, bible, truth

Id: BNkYPZeTDh0

Length: 28min 48sec (1728 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 09 2023