Most of my favorite bill hader bits on snl (mostly featuring Vince Blake: agent of chaos)

i know i know what you need why i have adivan you want that oh yeah little valium oh yeah you like a clotted pin i want something to take me sky all right we're basically just asking you to confirm that this is your brother you got it okay okay so who is this is it two people oh my god back soon oh this pregnancy talk has been quite embarrassing your majesties shut up and i saw something floating on the surface ah was it wilson the volleyball no it was an arm ah other wives he's a goddamn partner at her firm buddy unreal unreal round two you like the sixth sense thing where it turns out he's alive and worlded no no i kind of wish we were all dead right now okay look i'm gonna i'm gonna level with you a hundred percent here is santa how was your summer did you all have a swell little grand old time that way we can acquit president trump and focus on the real criminals in this country teenagers who try marijuana did he slap your five no it was a dead arm from a dead body oh that's terrible why don't you name all your friends wives those guys they don't have wives i roll uh with a crew of problematic bachelors and we call ourselves the squad right it's his brother why would dennis why would you think that's your bra it's crunch time gang does anyone have anything illegal on them boom boom sniff snaff what would you say to the young girls watching i don't know uh you're as good as any man terrible [Music] schmorgy well what would you say i wouldn't say anything cameron three pushing on me i would listen then i would let him stick his dong right up in my dump hole i must paint you [Laughter] all right the rules are simple as we all know when two gay men have sex one person is the top and one is the bottom we'll show you two male celebrities who hypothetically could have sex and you decide who's on top yes i have no enemies within these walls chef get your fat ignorant arse in here who the hell are they eights of your summer interns they worked for you for free for four months if you can tell me any of their names i'll give you a million dollars the easy answer would be that bruce is on top because he's the boss but it can't be that simple physically speaking bruce is more muscular but joel's a bulldog ten more minutes don't rush me chef pretend you have a brain and bring me some beet soup because that's all you're good for you're inviting me for you tara mara zara audience i said mara yeah but you didn't know it um i'm going to say gerard depper dudes on top sorry madeline you forgot deadpool dude is french and therefore a bottom sure you may be my cousin who's next in line to be king meaning if i die you instantly become king but what's it all for what do you want [Applause] and a word chaos of course their motto was hakuna matata what a wonderful phrase hakuna matata ain't no passing craze it's a problem-free philosophy hakuna matata there is no top they trade off positions evenly it's a circle of life that is correct you're nothing but a cowardly sheriff see i humiliate you i mock you with the bread you baked herb no why don't you turn around and talk to that r.a i'm not gonna take reporter lessons from a can of hairspray herb okay paul in this round i'm gonna ask you to picture two men having sex done let me finish god no it still needs salt salted you morning come on herbert hold it together herb [Laughter] lay it on me man what went down that is that's very obviously poison dr oz dr phil who's on top oprah winfrey correct you know what that's actually very good no there's a subtle hint of maybe i ought to be the anchor again okay you can't herb you can't because you were fired for praying the rosary on the air father pat says god loves herb welch yeah well father pat doesn't run the networks don't talk about my parish okay all right okay teenagers are drinking expired soup to get high but that wouldn't get you high there's no way teenagers are doing that but they are they're getting whacked out on old soup and they're going to end up [Music] dead if shep kramer knew about the way you anchor he turned over in his grave god no he wouldn't hurt because chef kramer was cremated they burned my friend hey come on tanya your english teacher caught you cheating so he made you take naked pictures and now they're online and it's given you an eating disorder and also you can't read [Laughter] all right [Applause] herb come on pull it together okay just cut away

Channel: Allison Reed

Views: 618,411

Keywords:

Id: BQwW__yl1KI

Length: 6min 48sec (408 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 30 2021