Monkey's ROAST BATTLE With The Audience | Nina Conti DOLLY MIXTURES | Universal Comedy

I will defer to monkey who is my partner of 12 years and the co-writer of this show to introduce here we go here's monkey hello ladies [Applause] here we are in there now look at us looking at each other what's not in your face [ __ ] sorry emulation this my microphone where's mine we didn't bother with one for you or that screws up the illusion nice you can share mine if it bothers you that much ok testing testing 1 2 3 is that good testing testing 1 ok no glory just run it up I'm sorry what what nothing were you gonna say something how would you not know that confusing all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players they have their exits and their entrances a long line in his time plays many parts the acts being seven ages this monkey just a [ __ ] ID authorized locked in a room at the typewriter sounds like Shakespeare is Shakespeare dick speak up I'm sorry I didn't know you knew Shakespeare I know more than you think you can't know more than I think well that's what do you think yes so so I'm confused so looking tonight let's say hello to our handsome audience who we got here hello lady on the end of the scarf how are you you're very well what do you do with your life you teach oh that's very good who do you teach and why you teach for money it's good to know that you're not also in the right place that's a good good reason and so who'd children adults adults you teach a dog I'm interested and you teach monkeys you say oh you love monkey oh that's very nice oh well we'll talk about that later well we're alone but oh no no about your teaching now so you're teaching adults what exactly social policy law and Social Work I'm glad you said that Nina okay that's good Oh what the hell did they do with that horrible mixture [ __ ] don't last me no one you lost like I'll finish my sentences I just know I mean that's amazing that's quite a concoction that's a horrible cocktail I don't I don't want to drink that I'll have sex on the beach and hello are you friends are you together today yes you are or what are you doing issue a mental health nurse well I'm glad you're sitting in the front row cause Nina's never out of the woods right interesting that's very interesting a slightly edgy subject to take the fish out of it's Nina more mental than the people you work with all ish good answer so what would you diagnose this evident illness ash is it Tourette's or is it personality disorder what is this that leads to this what leads to this [ __ ] love leads a girl to kick off a glove to express herself what a childhood trauma listen I really need to know Bucky I'm completely fine no you're not listen I know and you don't I can look at you diagnose tonight what is this [Applause] oh my god naina can't do the chakra she has to go and cry I love your honesty you don't need a long can you just come straight out with a [ __ ] truth amazing well thank you guys so glad you're here hello lady you're next next to the other lady how are you you you're fine I'm very glad you got a little tissue there you're gonna use that soon or did you already use it this is slightly snotty you know no no still clean are really interested now when you Sully it you know that's where the drama starts what do you do you're retired and that's very nice to know and do you enjoying your retirement you do good excellent are you learning a language or painting climbing trees options no having a jolly good sit back a good sit with him is this your [ __ ] lovely oh that's lovely have you been together for a long time such a guttural smell in your throat yes how many years he looks to her you see 30 he says 40 I say to our toll you say potato that's good that's odd make 70 years why why the discrepancy because you feel you're tired you're tired she's long as a tissue um okay well listen that's that's lovely and I hope that you enjoy your retirement and many fine years to come hello how are you how are you what do you do an administrator fascinating moving on and you guys are together you married you are excellent excellent under what what in the future for you guys a baby fantastic don't pretend you didn't notice you didn't say it Nina just wanted to be sure you weren't just that that's not true clearly pregnant that's very exciting do you know sure it's a boy or a girl or a donkey or is it do you know for these guys [Music] and what do you do sir very good the future depends on it you run a group of companies good keep your options wide and open that's good okay agree well done congratulations good luck little one and hello how do you do you were an accountant externa she said that even though he said how do you do she just got straight in there talking around this one you're an accountant excellent what's my t2 minus sixty four times three you need a calculator okay who's one is in your hands so are you guys together you do you two together oh you're all fall together fantastic i watch the relationship here your friendly new mom listen you know that you have my ex I mean you know what I really do you can't talk excited it's my DVD there is I can't talk so wonder I can at all so well congratulations on your your pending grandmother good you're excited is it your first grandchild is it thrilled that's our stony silence I'm sure you're thrilled no I think it's just I don't articulate well enough to understand my question I I take the blame there I'm sure your oh thank you so much for coming and hello to you how are you what do you do sure in a community cafe - sounds exciting what do you shoulder cakes breakfast excellent pancakes why did you say pancakes I don't know psychologist mental health girl why why didn t know suddenly say pancakes Wow who knows what might come next and so how are you awful are you guys together you you are or what do you do I'm a police Community Support Officer what exactly is that you should call the Community College right you collision one for the police aren't really kaleesh but that's interesting what you you would what kind of support do you give them emotional no working for the police within the community and not parking tickets no do you carry your weapon no just a wall Gothel okay well that's wonderful isn't wearing interesting I'm so sorry it's horrible for the people at the end no it's horrible though you get just to get tensed for ages hello everybody hello ladies so close and so imperious how are you you guys do you work here I don't know why he asked you that well don't take no responsibility you're slightly involved what do you guys do your student or leach loves you and what are you studying dance or after you what kind of dancing contemporary even watch how wonderful I'd love it can you can you dance in there there enough room for you to do a little pirouette well that's too old fashioned for you you do squat a support worker for I don't know if anyone heard that but he said people with mental health issues who top themselves occasionally northing on but I'm sorry to hear that III think you could do with supporting them a little more [Applause] you

Channel: Universal Comedy

Views: 781,207

Keywords: best, stand, up, Comedy, stand up, live, lol, joke, laugher, comedy, standup, stand up comedy, kevin, bridges, michael, mcintyre, lee, evans, satire, ventriloquist, ventriloquist americas got talent, ventrilo harassment, nina conti human puppet, nina conti monkey, nina conti in therapy, ventriloquist darci lynne, ventriloquist jeff dunham, puppet steve, puppet song, puppet shark, nina conti ventriloquist, nina conti ventriloquist comedian, nina conti ventriloquist mask, americas got talent

Id: w7VX0CuBFic

Length: 10min 52sec (652 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 01 2020