Mom I'm 15, Stop Comparing Me to My 8-Year-Old Brother! | KARAMO

when did you start having issues with your daughter um I really started to notice a change in Nola about um two to three years ago since she was like 13 yep um we noticed that at first it was being withdrawn um wanting to spend time with her friends which is typical teenage behavior um but we are very adamant about checking and following up and seeing what she's doing we started noticing um at first texts that had you know curse words little things like that um but we have gradually seen that grow over time um we have seen that she um has been receiving pictures that are inappropriate so genitalia from um guys her dad has walked in the room before and she's changing her clothes on FaceTime and a boy's on FaceTime um New Year's Eve um my husband came in the room and a guy's standing there with no shirt on um and so we're just trying to figure out where all this is coming from okay then is there other behaviors that you're feeling like you're worried about yes um she has a she calls it a YOLO um attitude and so any y'all know what YOLO is right you only live once okay good just making sure um know any and everything that you say to her it's I don't care what lies have you caught her in um most recently she had been asking to get her hair done which we were Tak by her friend who's on the cheerleading team with her um she's a cheerleader she is a cheerleader she has been doing competitive cheer for a while so okay competitive chair that's that's skill okay yes um but she asked to go over to her friend's house and get her hair done and so we took her that evening when she got home she came in the kitchen and said something about wanting to watch a movie she had told me she had been to the movies um earlier that day and so I found that odd like why you said you went to the movie why are you now saying you want to see it um and so my husband went in her phone and found out that she had actually been going to her friend's house to see her boyfriend the biggest thing about it is that they were brother and sister and she never told us so we had literally been so you're thinking she's going to a friend's house when the friend's brother is actually who she's dating yes oh okay yeah I know that's thck Behavior uhhuh yeah okay so what did she say when you confronted her um she said at first that she thought that she should have said something to us and then it turned quickly into that I don't care like it's done so she did own up at least that she said she should have said something after after she you know denied it for a while course of course how often do you two fight every day every day and you talking about producer that you think she hates you yes I do um I feel like she said to me not too long ago like I don't trust anybody and that hurts me got it um well let's see what your daughter Nola had to say before the show my mom has a favorite child and it's not me it's my 8-year-old brother she says that I need to be more like my brother why am I compared to a 8-year-old I'm a Cheerleader I want to cheer in college I want to go to a good college and then I want to be a neurosurgeon when I get older she was like you're not going to make it like in life you're not going to get there and then when she gets mad it comes all out and she just says oh you're a you're a when she calls me that I just I don't really like say anything it makes me sad cuz like I don't want my mom to think of me like that if I can't trust my own mom like it's hard to trust other people in the world cuz like my mom's supposed to be my main my main girl I think that if like if we have a better relationship it'll definitely help in the future like when I go to college building the foundation now that would be good later in life how do you feel about what she just said it's hurtful because I don't want my child to feel like I am not someone that she can trust or that her brother is my favorite and they saying that she is a or a that's not how that went so you didn't call her those names no what I said to her is do you want to dress like a is that what you're going for and it was because because I let her get her belly button pierced she' been asking um and I told her not to wear it out at school she continued to do it and I said do you want to dress like a is that what you're trying to do mhm okay so I understand it's not directly calling her a su right but I think you're a very intelligent woman we can see how she could feel as if I'm being called a yes because if these are the clothes I'm choosing to wear and this is how I feel like I can express myself and you see that as a then you see me as a so yeah so she also made a claim that you favor your son over her that's not true um she also bullies them and so trying to get her to understand that's not okay has been very difficult for us got it got it got it I understand I get that well I want to meet your daughter Nola um so everyone help me welcome Nola to the show I know thank you for being here that's how you feel well anytime time you're harping on me showing emotion like I don't show emotion but anytime I try and say sorry to you I don't mean it any like if I do say sorry I don't mean it if I don't say sorry then I don't care so it's like what do you want me to do the movie thing that was you said it was the same day I came to you and I said that I wanted to watch the movie that I just got home from it wasn't the same day it was a after it was after the fact at least like a week a week and a half after but can I pause you there that's where our issue comes in she's trying to figure out it doesn't matter if it was that day the next day the next day the next day you shouldn't be doing it and you are always constantly trying to figure out how to explain why what you're doing is right and that's the problem and it's not right is this the way you two communicate at home yes Mom you raised a really good daughter I won't let you know that I just want let you know that and and this is not to take away from the things that could work out but I think there needs to be a little credit to both of you if you raised a great daughter and you are a great young woman do we not see how respectful she's talking to her mom and like and I'm not saying that there's not moments at home she's a teenager that she gets frustrated you get frustrated so we're not going to pretend and pay the picture of like things are always fine but I think it's also important to understand that I've seen a lot of foundations of motherdaughter relationships and I've also seen a foundation of young girls who are on a bad path and you ain't on that Foundation but that's what makes it so hard I get it it's a lot easier when your child is acting out sneaking out doing things like that you can lock the door you can do you can't fix I don't care mhm it's not that I don't care like I just feel like like I do certain things but like I really care about my future and I really want to like I'm really like success is like my only option like I must be successful so I feel like the things I do like I would never take it like so far that it's going to like knock me out my path you really feel like your little brother is her favorite yes because like obvious like he's eight years old like you can't compare an eight-year-old to a 15-year-old he's a boy I'm a girl like he like my mom buys some stuff all the time of course she's going to want want to come talk to you if she bought me a new clothes every day I'll be like oh yeah girl what's up like hey I want to talk to but I do stuff for you too it's not like I'm only doing stuff for him and not for you okay but that's not the case I also feel like because of the way that you talk to him and the relationship that you two have I feel like I have to step in to help men that that makes sense like I'm not going to let you continue what are those things is it that she just like talks to him like you're ugly okay he's we joke he is weird weird he's just like he's a weird kid like he's just like he's like the kid you would see in school and like think he's weird like he's just weird he's just like not one of the popular kids but like so I understand your frustration as a mother I really do but I also see a 15-year-old who's teasing her little brother which I'm not saying that it's correct I understand and one day you'll grow out of it like I have older sisters they tease you they you know one you know like one of my my other older sisters in the audience she used to tease me when I was younger and I turned out well um and and so and so I understand the frustration though I really do but also when I hear these things of her saying you're weird you're you know it's it's a big sister teasing little brother again not to excuse the behavior but I think we should really be looking at this from a context of those things because I think sometimes when you in it like how you in it it's hard to see some of these bigger pictures where I'm on the outside so I can see some of the bigger pictures I just wonder why you're so closed off like when I whenever I try to get us to a place that's good I feel like we always end up back here and I just I don't know why like and like I feel like I see like I see what you're saying like we do get to a good place and then it kind of falls off but like in the back of my mind like I know all the stuff You' said is going to stick with me like it doesn't matter if we get to a good place like I know in like my mind like oh well like she's called me a horse like all these words like I just feel like you've said it so it's there like but I'm not I I did not mean it that way like I want you to understand that's not how I meant it that's not what I'm saying to you I'm not saying that you're a horor what I'm I'm afraid like I don't know what to do I don't want to see you keep building towards things that are going to hurt you like I don't want to see you hurt and you don't want to see it hurt because you got hurt I mean I was a young mom and I didn't things I wasn't supposed to do so here goes this other piece of like what I mean is you see a part of yourself that was young and outgoing and that's where the fear is coming from I it really doesn't I get it but it doesn't have anything to do with her really it's more about your fear because what I'm hearing is her going through natural progression what it is to be a kid and you're fearful that she'll make a decision that's similar to yours right yeah but she's a different person and also she has a great mom but one of the things that is sticking with her is the words you said in those hard moments and that's what's breaking yall apart I I just heard your daughter say that she's a lot that success is the only option I remember what it felt like to be that kid who felt like you have to achieve because there's no other option and the pressure that puts on you and what that does when you turn to an adult what are you thinking about cuz you tear eyes are watering up what are you thinking about um just what you're saying like yeah it just feels like a lot of pressure like all the time yeah here you go love here you go I'm sorry [Applause] so yeah I love you I'm sorry I'm Sor I'm sorry you finally hearing her you didn't know that this was going on in there she's feeling a lot of pressure I mean on top of being a young woman I mean I know there's a lot of focusing on what Nola's done wrong but there has to be more focusing what she does right again like I said immediately you're an exceptional young woman what I will say to your mom is you praise you a good mom I'm you a good mom I'm going give you appla this if this is the product of what you raising mom you keep it up okay you keep it up and you also find the strength to continue to try to open up to your mom I know it's hard but she does love you and she does want to be there for you and you should not have this pressure alone okay yeah okay I wish y'all the best of luck seriously all right he [Music]

Channel: Karamo Show

Views: 146,806

Keywords: Karamo

Id: 6Mcb_gmXOm0

Length: 13min 42sec (822 seconds)

Published: Mon May 06 2024