Hi, everyone! Welcome back to Asperger's from the Inside, you're here with Paul. One of the most common questions that I get all the time is something along the lines of: "So, I think I'm Autistic What do I do now? What's the next step? Where do I start? How do I get a diagnosis? How do I find a meetup group? What do I do now that I've come to realize that I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum or at least I'm considering the fact that that I might be? So in this video today I wanted to give you a really important message about diagnosis that a lot of the things that you're trying to do by jumping straight to: "How do I get diagnosed?" you can actually start right now and you don't actually need to wait for a diagnosis to get a lot of those things. It's a journey of self-discovery. It's a journey of healing. It's an exciting and terrifying journey that I've been on myself so I know what it's like and I know what you're going through at the moment and you kind of just want to get on to the next thing and you want to get answers to these questions and things like that. There are three things essentially that we tend to want out of a diagnosis. You might want to know yourself better You might want to prove to other people that you're actually on the spectrum, right? You're not crazy. You're actually different. It's not all in your head, something like that. Or, thirdly, you might want to find help with a certain thing maybe that's with relationships, or a job, or mental health or something like that. The key message of this video and I'll go into some examples later is that getting an official diagnosis may not be the best way to achieve those three things even if diagnosis is going to be a good fit for you you don't need to wait for a diagnosis before working towards actually achieving those things. What we want to go through are some easier, quicker and more effective ways to find out more about yourself in the self-discovery aspect, to help others around you understand what autism is and accept your "diagnosis", even if it's only a self diagnosis at this stage, and thirdly actually get help with whatever you're struggling with at the moment. So with regard to the first one and finding out more about autism and learning about myself more the number one thing I recommend there is to get to know, read the stories, meet other people on the spectrum. So there are a lot of other bloggers out there who are sharing their story. Many have written books. If you google
"Actually Autistic Blogs", there'll be a whole lot there that you can try and find someone that you relate to and try and find stories that help you to understand what you're going through. I learned a lot about myself and a lot about autism in general from meeting other people on the spectrum and hearing something that they struggle with or something that they do all the time that they thought was a bit weird and they thought only they were the only one in the world that did it. Whereas actually, I do that too. Or they might do something I'm like: "I don't understand why you do that?" And then I'm reflecting on it. And I think: "Actually, that's a similar sensory thing that I have". Similarly with trying new things, I have tried special glasses and I've tried earphones and things. And other tips that other autistic people have said have helped them, and has been useful for them, I thought, well why don't I give that a go and see if it works for me? Because you never know. And a lot of strategies that I've used for myself and that I've developed since discovering I'm on the spectrum came from talking to other people, hearing about how they manage their own lives and and learning from them directly. You may also be tempted to read up on autism, essentially. And I would caution you there that we've come a long way in our understanding of autism in the last couple of years. So if you're going to read a medical textbook or anything that was published, you know 5, 10, more years ago, I'd be very, very careful as to what you take from that, because as I said, Autism research and understanding has come a very, very long way in the last couple of years. So some of the stuff written ten years ago sounds like it may as well have been written in the Middle Ages. So that's just a warning there. It does help to learn about autism in general, and I've actually created an Autism 101 course through "Autism Explained", so you might want to check that out as well, if you're looking to understand Autism in general. Okay, so number two is, how do I explain myself to other people. So actually did a video on this just recently which you may be interested in, but in terms of getting a diagnosis. Unfortunately having a piece of paper, an official piece of paper from an expert, proving that you meet their diagnosis criteria, unfortunately, that's not going to be enough for some people. So especially if it's your family or friends. It's unfortunately still quite common for people to be a bit skeptical and say: "You never used to do these things. Why are you suddenly acting more autistic? Are you just putting it on? Are you just telling the psychologist what they want to hear?" And they're just a little bit skeptical. And sometimes the reason for this is because when we go through this process of self-discovery, the mask that we've probably been wearing for a very long time tends to come down and the people around us see a completely different side of us that they haven't seen before. It helps to be patient with them and, you know, be kind and understanding in general, that it's actually difficult for them as well, to go through this adjustment My grandmother used to say: "You can't be autistic! There's nothing wrong with you!" And there was no point trying to tell her otherwise. Because she was right. There is nothing wrong with me. So in that particular case she just had a negative association with the word and and we couldn't use the word autism to explain things. So my tip here is that we can help build empathy and understanding for the new things that we're discovering about ourselves right away, even before a diagnosis. Again, I just did a video on this recently, and the essential thing that I'm advocating for there is to give people really specific examples and explain why they're so important to you. Why do I find bright lights difficult? Well, I might say something like, they're actually painful. They're not just annoying. They're actually painful, or maybe, it's tiring. Or using words that they can actually relate to because they know what it's like to feel pain. They know what it's like for something to be tiring or overwhelming. That helps them to bridge that empathy gap, rather than saying things like: "I've got this weird sensory thing where I can't handle eating bananas, right?" That's kind of a way that makes it sound like they're not going to understand. So instead we want to bridge that gap. Number three is actually getting help. If you need help, in any aspect of your life, do not wait for a diagnosis to start looking for and finding help if your mental health is of concern, if your relationships need help, you can speak to a counselor, you can speak to a psychologist. A lot of countries have free help lines where you can talk to people and get advice. You can ask friends about things as you're going through this process of self-discovery. And I've just realized this thing about myself. I'm wondering if maybe this had this impact on my relationship. Having an official diagnosis does not automatically solve all of these problems. So you're going to have to go through this work anyway, and so my recommendation here, where do I start is: Start looking for help. Immediately without necessarily linking the need for help to being on the spectrum. And the bonus of this is if you are talking to a counselor or psychologist, for example, and you think you're on the spectrum, you can chat about what that actually means to you with that person, and they can help you to develop your ideas, even before you're going to seek a diagnosis. For a lot of people, you will want to get an official diagnosis for a variety of reasons. I've done another video on the pros and cons of seeking an adult diagnosis. If that's you, what do you do? So my first tip there is ask for local advice from organizations, autistic groups, support groups What's the best way to seek a diagnosis in my local area? So in Australia, for example the first step is to see your local doctor, your GP, and get a referral to see a psychologist. And it helps to have a particular psychologist in mind. Find one by asking around who is actually going to understand autism in a good way. It can be really helpful. Now if you do see a professional and you don't feel like they gave you an adequate answer you are completely within your rights to see someone else. Talk to someone else, find someone who actually makes you feel like they understood you. If you're feeling like they dismissed you without really hearing what you have to say it's definitely worth asking again. Unfortunately, I can't be too specific on the step by step of how to get a diagnosis because it can vary so much from person to person, everyone has a different journey. If you've gone through the process and had an official diagnosis yourself please let us know in the comments. You know, what you had to do. And when, what was your first step? Alternatively if you'd like to submit your diagnosis story, I've published over 20 diagnosis stories on my blog which I would recommend you go and read if you're interested. It's really interesting to hear how different people have such completely different journeys, but there's some kind of common thread there that we can all understand. So I hope that's answered the most common question that I get in my inbox every week of: "What do I do next? I think I'm on the spectrum". If you know someone who might be looking for what is the next step, who thinks they're on the spectrum and doesn't really know what to do next, please share this video with them. Sometimes we just need to know what to do next. You don't need to know ten steps in advance. You just need to know the next step. So I'm excited that you're coming on this journey as well. It's been an amazing rollercoaster for me and I'm sure it will be life-changing for you as well as you come to discover what autism means to you and whatever that answer may be. So, thanks for watching. I hope you've enjoyed this video and I'll speak to you another time. Bye.
