Michael Lembeck Plays Hardball

good afternoon sure easy for you to say Oh what's the matter oh it's nothing I'd like to leave my problems on the field okay if you don't want to talk about it maybe it's not good to keep this stuff bottled up okay coach just got fired team five mr. Hollis know IBM fired mr. Hollis he's out no mahalo looking for a new job well we thought we might get Stevie Weinstein's dad the rabbi mm-hmm but he won't work Saturdays oh well Alex I wish I could suggest someone but if you tried them all well not exactly all I'm not too sure I like a look in your voice yes but you're asking mothers even more desperate than that we're asking you you know what I mean yeah I do Alan sweetie I'm strictly a one sport woman wrist wrestling is my life I'm just not qualified who is mr. Hollis thought that a Pitchess er a meant that girls could play really doesn't it mister models the guys are counting on you I'm sorry Alex I just can't I'm all involved in this ad convention downtown I understand oh honey don't worry it'll all work out now the team's last hope they're counting on me to come up with somebody anybody Barbara what has bats balls bases and yogi berra you got it coach darling you'd better snap her up quick before the Yankees get her close that all about Babur how'd you like to coach our baseball team you've got to be kidding I don't know the first thing about baseball coach it's your chance to meet a lot of cute guys Oh Alex I don't know what would I wear I'd look so scruffy we'll put a mirror in the dugout Alex I'd love to help really but I don't think I'm cut out for it I mean I'd split my nails hitting all those funguses fungos yeah well I'd split my nails hitting nose too I'm depressed I need junk food quick hey how's my favorite sister-in-law I'm your only sister-in-law oh yeah what are you while I'm up here to instruct the flight attendant course for a couple of weeks yeah gonna borrow a couch sure where's Julie oh she's in the middle of her exam so she thought it'd be a good idea to stay pretty close to home base home base well base max do you know anything about baseball hey Alex how you doing no baseball I speak it what does all that mean that means either hit and run or your jockey shorts are too tight max would be the perfect guy to coach Alex's team you Sam for dinner yeah I'd love to and no way I coached my kid brother's team for two years it's too rough a job yeah what's rough about it well first of all you got to set a good example Dan you got to run around tying shoelaces blowing noses springing for hot dogs fish market we get all the sardines we can eat 13 year olds that's the same age their parents are here she-dummy the game nothing's gone right this season anyway what do you mean well the last coach we had stuck me way out in right field he adds on keep playing or I wanted to play first base Hey first base yeah it's my position yeah I wish I could play it better well if I was coach I'd show you everything there is to know about first base holding a runner guarding the line charging bunts then you'll do it wait a minute wait a minute I said if I'm only gonna be here a couple of weeks that's more than any other coaches lasted please max Julie would do it when's the next game in 30 minutes great [Music] okay introducing the new coach of the Herbie's fish market sharks mr. max Horvath so you're the new skipper huh got some stuff here from our previous coach Thank You mr. Horvath I'm Frankie equipment manager and official spokesman of the Sharks I want to welcome you to the team thank you I know that a half-hour from now when the UMP collars play ball the old hickory meets the horsehide we're gonna play the car back search of the wall and there's no tomorrow because we're the kind of team that comes to play we give 110 percent every time because we know that playing a tie is like kissing your sister and the other one leg at a time our motto is the game is never over until the last man is out that's terrific kid you really got away with other people's words just telling it like it is did I say it's a game of inches yeah you're gonna have to excuse Frankie he wants to be a sportscaster he thinks Howard Cosell is the greatest person who ever lived that makes two of them just a second everybody before you go I'd like to say a few words look baseball is a game and games are made to have fun which is the reason we're going out there today now as your coach I'd like to stress fundamentals we're gonna practice hitting throwing and fielding all right now let's go out there and get those lemons Lions Lions Frankie yeah you got to work on your penmanship hi honey how'd you do great yeah you won we lost six to two that's great uh-huh I got to play first base and it was really fun something like caught the ball with my face instead of my glove yeah having funds what the games all about right skip Yeah right well did you get any hits not really I got ahold of one pretty good but I pulled it foul into the convalescent home floow2 later the team parents have a rule in Aikido plays over four innings has to take a shower let's say he seems pretty happy considering your laws Barbara we got a real problem here Alexandra should not be playing for a space well what should he be playing soccer it's not good huh not good he caught his spikes in his socks at least he had fun and that's part of the game you said so yourself Barbara there's an old expression in the airline's you can have all the fun in the world doesn't mean a thing unless you score and I was single I used to say that you're the coach teach him give him some advice like what to play first base wearing a catcher's mask one game the season is only eight and let me tell you something the rest of the kids on this team are pretty terrific I think we could win the pennant aren't you taking this a little too seriously - seriously hey winning the pennant is what this country is all about and after we win the pennant there's no telling how far we could go and that's why Alex Andres has to move to right field no you promised him he could play first base Barbara every player is suited to a particular position Aleksandra streaks of right field want to see me skip oh yeah have a seat Alex [Music] the game of baseball is like the game of life there's a right place for everybody all you got to do is find it I know that's what our last coach mr. Hollis said oh really yeah right now he's in Omaha Alex I want to put this as gently as I can max I know I booted a few today but I'm gonna improve the main thing is I had great fun playing first thank you don't mention it do you want a cup of coffee no thanks for trying to cut down let me get right to the point how tall are you yeah about four feet eleven whoa c4 let me tell you something take a look at all the great first basemen in the history of the major leagues you got Lou Gehrig moose scouring the big clue Ted Kluszewski stretch McCovey now one of them was four feet 11 you played first and I'm almost as tall as you now probably what kept me out of the big leagues anyway let me tell you something planes first base is not the real fun you know the real fun is real fun I mean you're gonna let me pitch the real fun is not what position you play it's winning oh yeah I hear winning is great win is great and the best chance the Sharks have of winnings with you playing right field my field Alex Alex right field is one of the most important positions in the game you've heard of Reggie Jackson right of course what do you think he hangs out the bank max it's okay next Saturday Aleksandra swill be in right field well maybe not next Saturday you see I think they're throwing a right-hander at us so so I think I want to platoon you I only want to play you against left-handed pitching maybe we shouldn't talk any longer it's getting worse now I'm on the bench wait a second wait a second no team everyone opinion without a strong bench pin it we aren't gonna win the pennant what are you talking about we're not gonna win the pennant hey I'll bet you every dime I own we do yeah gosh that'd be great and if I've got to ride the bench to do it then that's the way it is that's the spirit that's terrific Chum I'm sitting over here worried about how to tell you all this and you took like a big leaguer that's great thanks max I'll see you later I'm gonna go hang out my friends okay 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your turn one of them is 16 bucks a day it could save thousands 1400 of my prescriptions a month what I need but that's why I'm still working at 76 years old there's more than just free prescriptions there's free dental and dentures over 15,000 dentists have provided over 250 million dollars in free dental work free cell phones with minutes over 14 million people have free cell phones and introducing free electric received 250 to $600 for your electric bill free and don't forget to ask about your medical supplies as they may be covered to the free rx plus hotline has saved collars over ten million dollars in prescription costs start saving immediately on thousands of prescription medications these free programs have helped millions of people it's your turn call now oh hi you still here very funny Alex ready for the game oh yeah little trooper that is hey lighten up huh I know I did the right thing I hope so I'm all set for the game I've got my batting helmet my glove and my cushion a sense of humor I like that I always say the team that lasts together wins together max do you think there's a chance I'll get to play today well you never know when we're gonna need a good pinch-hitter and if we do you gotta remember everything I taught you right okay it shook up on the bat you stand deep in the batter's box right okay legs apart knees slightly bent elbows up all right then when the pitch comes in your stride forward keep your shoulders level eye on the ball head down and follow-through just like that real smooth just like that I'm fine come on we got a pennant to win about this yeah Oh too heavy wrong with you back you can't go that cane you should be lying down I'm at the door yeah no I'm not gonna no we gotta we gotta lie down here we go yes I realize it's hard to find a doctor on Saturday unfortunately my back thought it was Tuesday wait no pulling no punches helping easy now next easy easy okay here we go let me down one down oh thanks all right no man Toffler what you're worried about a thing out there today okay true I will not be out there in person but thanks to Schneider CB rig I will be following the play-by-play and coaching to my main man Frankie here spoken like a true champion when the going gets tough the tough get going get going we're not gonna have time to warm at all right just a second for y'all go let me just say a few things now let's go over the signs this means good and this means and this means oh my dad says I have to leave at 3:30 for my French horn lesson what Toffler you're the best long-ball hitter I got can't you put in a sub well that's a good idea Flemming you take top list French long lesson for all right let's go out there and murder those bracken funeral uncle hope you feel better max thanks Alex Frankie I'm a big guy listen you're my eyes and ears out there today I'm really counting on you okay and don't worry the team wants to win this one for you in case you die breaker breaker breaker breaker this is super coach calling Yankee Clipper Yankee Clipper do you read me this is not Smokey and the Bandit just give me the play-by-play now what's the score did we score will you please hold it down I'm trying to find another orthopedist forget the orthopedist they need a cardiologist yes yes this is an emergency okay I'll ask how do you intend to pay the doctor through the nose come on Frankie talk to me what's the score here 1716 we got a run okay hold on they're gonna try and reach dr. Warwick on his beeper fat chance come on just find out if alex is playing for me talk to you Alex playing this season would you forget about Alex and Kvapil this is a pull hitter to the left side alright I want the Ted Williams shift everybody the left side of the field oh no oh no so we want anything left Who am I gonna put in it first I have a suggestion I'm the coach ok come on max put Alex at first don't make him feel good hey look there are a lot more important things in the world than feeling good and let me tell you something else listen Barbara you know you can't play the first string on everything Alex it could have to learn that sooner or later Thank You mr. philosophy Frankie Frankie Mayday Mayday baseball is not to learn about life it's to have fun what you saying this isn't fun Frankie I'll kill you look max I know you think alex is taking this whole business about being benched like a man but after you told him he cried he did yes he just didn't want you to know he was afraid he'd be letting you down come on Frankie where you been there's two outs now here on the top of the six Mackey's super coach over Justice Sega Frankie come on all right Frankie when we take the field in the bottom of the last inning I want you to put Alex Andrus at first base I'm the coach you pluck 17 still 17 to 16 real pitcher's duel hello yes hi dr. Warwick I'm calling on behalf of coach or but I mean max Horvath yes he's got a bad back I'm not sure what's wrong oh you where he's at the baseball game his son's team is playing the sharks yeah that's right max for math is the coach of the Sharks what do you mean you won't treat him adapter is just a baseball game doctor hello hello he hung up Frankie Frankie big guy talk to me what's going on out there game will be history three more outs or on a way to the pennant come on sharks the pitch it's a bunt and the first base line the runner on third if flaking for home first baseman Alex Anders charges of no he kicks it he kicks it beautiful right over the catcher's head into a hole in the backstop and the shine lose I think I'll go to my room now hi max hey Alex some game huh yeah some game hey come on come on I know how you feel look let me tell you something it takes nine guys to win a game it also takes nine guys to lose a game no it doesn't it only takes one man to lose a game you were the one what are you talking about max you put me at first that was dumb I didn't belong there who said that you did oh it's really true winning is everything you were writing maybe the problem is that I didn't really care whether you won or lost I think all I really cared about is that I won or lost you're not gonna give me that bad news bear stuff about playing for fun are you yeah I am but still there's got to be a way to win and have fun too well with me kicking the ball around we're not gonna win I know I'm not gonna have any fun look Alex I'm gonna be here a few more days and when my back gets better you and I gonna work on fundamentals you'll make a lot of errors but you're gonna learn the position Yeah right field first base you mean you're gonna let me play first yeah why I get to play first base next week against the Panthers well maybe not the Panthers just kidding [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] my teeth just worn I'm healthy

Channel: Carrie Heffernan

Views: 32,158

Rating: 4.8000002 out of 5

Keywords: Damon Riskin Michael Lembeck Valerie Bertinelli Little League

Id: qgy_fT7aB2g

Length: 26min 33sec (1593 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 17 2017