Michael Jackson's Private Tape Recordings: 2000 - 2001 (with Shmuley Boteach) | (GMJHD)

[Applause] hey and i'm going to say something i've never said it before um and this is the truth smoothie i'm i have no reason to lie to you god knows i'm telling you the truth i think all my success is fame and i've wanted it i wanted it because i wanted to be loved that's all that's the real truth i wanted people to love truly love me because i never really felt loved i wanted to become such a wonderful performer that i would get loved back i was hoping i could get love from other people if i sharpen my crap maybe people will love me i needed someone that's probably why i had the mannequins because i felt i needed people someone and i didn't have i was too shy to be around real people i love them it's like real babies and kids and people it makes me feel like i'm in a room with people so you thought you became a great star very successful and loved by the world your father would love you too so you could change in that way i was hoping i could and i was hoping i could get love from other people because i needed it real bad you know if there was a children's day when i was little and i looked at my father saying okay daddy look joseph what are we gonna do today you know what that would have meant to me you go well you want to go to the movies that's great that would have mean so much to me even left the way he would beat you is you know it's hard you know sometimes you take them [Music] you can make you strip nude first you oil you down your whole ritual he will oil you down so when when the flip of the um of the ironing court hit you which is you know and it was just like me dying and your foots all over your face your back everywhere and i always hear my mother but no joe you're gonna kill him you're gonna kill him no you know like i was like obviously i would just give up like there's nothing i can do you know and i hated him for it hated him you look in the audience he make a face like this you go i can't mess up he's going to kill him it would just scare the bejesus out of you and he'd be like everybody's talking to you like like looking at your heart like don't you mess up you know i'm like oh god i'm in trouble after the show we hear his car coming down the drive we drove always throw this big mercedes and he drives real slow shut up home show the phone quick doorstep everybody runs to their room like there's some time i'd be in bed at night sleeping 12 at night the door is locked so i'm giving you five seconds you're gonna open i'm gonna kick it down and you start kicking it boom kick like breaking the door now why are you signing that contract today go i don't know he goes or sign it if you don't sign it you're in trouble so you were gone i had to he would he was very physical and throw you and hit you as hard as he can did you begin to feel that you were like a money-making machine for him yeah i'll never forget one day he said you guys ever stop thinking i'll drop you like a hot potato that's what he said it hurt me you don't say that to children and i never forgot it we we used to say to our mother we say to each other and i never forget this janet and myself we say i would say janet shut your eyes she go okay that's [ __ ] i said picture joseph in a cough and he's dead did you feel sorry she would go no that's what we would do each other's kids we'd like play games like that she goes nope just like that that's how hateful we were i go he's in the coffin he's dead do you are you could i would you feel sad because she goes nope just like that that's how angry we were with him and i love him today but he was hard i never felt love from him and he would never hold me or touch me you know how do you hear him today i'm scared of my father to this day my father walked in the room and saying god knows i'm telling you the truth i've fainted in his presence many times i'll say one to be honest i've seen his once has thrown up in his presence because just when he comes in the room oh you just aura comes and my stomach starts hurting i know like i'm in trouble and now he's so different now he wants to be a better father god bless my father because he did some wonderful things and he was brilliant he was a genius i just wish he had to learn that earlier why are you still scared of him because the scar is still there so i'm like an angel in front of him i'm scared one day he said why are you scared of me and i couldn't answer it i [ __ ] joke but you know what you've done do you know what you've done to me i suffered a lot in that way we could be in a movie or i could be in a department store i hear somebody arguing at their child i break down and cry because it reflects how i was treated when i was little i cried break down at that moment and i started shaking and i cry can't take it it's hard my greatest dream that i have left i've accomplished my dreams with music and all of that i love music and entertainment it's this children's initiative of the thing that we're doing because i don't care about it i really don't i don't care about you i understand what you mean what keeps me going is children or else i would i would seriously i told you this before and i swear to god i mean every word i would i would just i throw in the towel you're working for children and babies and that's that's my real honest and i said it before once for children i would choose death i mean with all my heart like i say the present parent you know why i bought you this i said because you love me i said yes they need to know that do you feel like god there's a certain healing power and i've seen children just shower all over me with love touch my baby touch my baby every time i talk something's in a better spirit said yes you said no problem whatever you want kids always do that and i always feel that i don't want the parents to get jealous because it happens sometimes and it rubs father in a strange way that kisses us just falling in love with my personality sometimes it gets me into trouble you know but i'm just there to help believing in children believing in in young people believing that god you love me just for a reason to help my babies they're all beautiful they're so beautiful and i love them all people i want to be buried right where there's children i would feel safer that way i want them next to me i need their spirit i would love to come back as a child that never grows old like peter the happiness and the joy that i see in the eyes of the children they give me they save my life so i want to kick it back they say me slowly my mother i don't know anybody like her she's like a mother teresa very few people like that she was pulling out of the market right with the block from my house and encino she was in her mercedes and this white guy in a car screamed after her go back to africa just like that it hurt me so much from the stories of my brothers and their rose voices you know they gotta get out of the car lock the door when they come back and they kind of find a key or some guy walked by and squeak off all the paint because we're walking around driving a black man driving um a rolls-royce you know i just hate anything to do with because of a cup the color of a person's skin has nothing to do with the content of their character going to my show is like a religious experience because you come out you go in one person you come out with different so you had a fun tea you had sammy you had max and cole people loved their music but they didn't get adulation they didn't get to cry i was the first one to break the ice and break the mold for fight girls scottish girls irish girls i'm in love with you i want to and that gave a lot of the fight says they didn't like that and that's why they started the story he's weird he's gay he sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber he wants to buy the elephant man bones anything to turn people against me they tried their heart i have been an ambassador of goodwill all over the world spreading this message do we do real the world children of all nations circling the huge globe but everything is a thing about sex and i want to get my hot tub with your baby and rub you all over and [ __ ] i get put i get battered in the press as that's the weirdo and the press they wait wait with knives absolutely they try to shrink me apart because when you're the top-selling artist of all time the record that's broken you're the target i mean get him down get get him you know what i mean do all kind of crazy things that i would do i think the nightmare of a human condition the human soul of what i would never even think a common man would be capable of behaving in such a way anybody else would probably be dead by now or a junkie or something with what i've been doing because i'll try to see the other stars and things like that they love chelsea they admire you and know you're wonderful and great but they're jealous they wish they were in your place which they were in your shoes and em is one of them madonna you know she's not a knife she hasn't been kind of absolutely she's a woman and i think that's what bothers her women don't scream for other women and men are too too cool to scream for women you know and i get that i get the the fainting and the adulation and the okay we're going to the restaurant afterwards we're going to a street fight i am not going to a street fighter where they cross guys or girls after what she wrote for me things about my friends and i said [Music] some little kids came up oh my god michael jackson and madonna can we have your arms up to continue get out of here leave us alone don't you ever talk to children like that you did shut up i did you shut up that's how we learned to finish it yeah that's what i said and then then we went out again and again with the academy awards and i walked around all the time holding a little babies uh dolls like crying that's how badly i wanted it you know women can do some things that make guys very unhappy i've seen it with my brothers i see my brothers crying in tears and pulling the grass out of the lawn out of frustration because of their wives i've never asked the girl out of my mind they have to ask me really yes i can't ask you when i held tatum's hands i was like intense it was a magical thing you better be particular better than anything i remember you went to this club i don't go to the club it was called the rock and you're watching the van i'm sitting there underneath the table she was holding my hand [Music] so beautiful [Music] guy in a rock and this girl walks up and he says i am for sure that was one of the love of my life i think she loved me because i loved her you know and she goes are you going to the actor party i go yeah you're good i'll see you at the pokemon oh my god and she knows she's all over my room so we get to the after party she comes up and she goes will you dance with me yes i would love for you man we've changed numbers and i was up all night singing and sitting around in my room so happy you know it was great and you dated a lot me and we went out a lot her pictures all over he had to have had a lot of yes people around him who were afraid of him i actually said if you don't even even if you have like an hour with hitler you could somehow touch something inside her absolutely i really believe that i know what you really think you could have gotten through yes okay apparently the good ones somehow yeah i think i could i really do i think nobody really talked to him it's a brown nose but that's what they were that's what he wanted that's what they did would you say the best thing that ever happened to the people they broke up and that's why they haven't been like kaboom yeah the man will die young you get to see her grow old and ugly i mean that's the mystery of would they be funky and old now and and not you know you wouldn't care is that an argument michael took you one day to say yeah i would like to some kind of way disappear when people don't see me anymore at some point and just do my things for children but not be visual to disappear is very important i think growing old is the ugliest most the ugly thing i want to always be beautiful and have the energy to run around and play hide and seek which is one of my favorite games i saw it on the computer it made me sick when i saw it what it's like a lizard it looked like it's horrible i i don't like i never like it that's why i wish i could never be photographed or soon and i i push myself to go to the things that we go to because i just don't want to look old [Music] uh [Music] um i wouldn't eat took the spoon or put it to my mouth really when i get really upset hurt i don't eat i go enough food i just i just eat some i'm uncomfortable then they started doing it intravenously you know because my i pray when i see something that's totally magnificent how could you not see that going wow like a god you

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Keywords: Michael Jackson's Private Tape Recordings: 2000 - 2001 (with Shmuley Boteach) - GMJHD, Michael Jackson Private Tapes, Michael Jackson private conversations, Michael Jackson private audio, Michael Jackson private conversations audio recordings tape, Michael Jackson 2020, Michael Jackson Madonna, Michael Jackson Rabbi Shmuley, Michael Jackson songs, Michael Jackson greatest hits, Michael Jackson rare recordings, GMJHD, GMJ2, Michael Jackson rare leaked tapes, Michael Jackson 2000

Id: sYC87HPNWA0

Length: 18min 41sec (1121 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 13 2020