memes i stole from the queen

no you're not you're dead right now are you so this is how you make it look like you have abs in every photo you put your foot like that you rotate it and you go to the gym you fetch [Applause] this is how you know it's cold dude pole shivering already know who it is it's your boy [Laughter] [Music] first is there anybody in here my name is kendall [Music] it takes about 1 100 nuts to make a single jar of peanut butter that's a it only takes two to fill up your mom's mouth about as many as someone like your mother has eaten in the last year stitch this and tell me who the most famous person you ever went to school with is this is a christian household bruh third time gotta make this quick okay guys so i'm waiting in the car for my mom and she went to she hasn't she went to cheat damn she had she's she damn she's fighting about who's gonna be there and who needs to be killed right right so that's actually um [Music] so [Music] really speed software though peanut well boys i [ __ ] center a little too [ __ ] hard but i really hope i oh damn i hope my radiator is good may the force be with you [Music] gotta unload the groceries chili pants chili pants calling people daddy is gross stop king shaming me king shaming is my kink excuse me ma'am i got these for you oh god i'm just kidding i'm playing it she was insistent she says no i hurt the window oh black cat bring good luck not bad luck i have black hat see him face and i'm not dead today good luck yeah oh excuse me lady you're not wearing a mask you gotta go what if you're not wearing this girl's getting kicked out because she's not wearing a mask what are you talking about you're not wearing a mask so you gotta go that's crazy put a mask on [Music] macaroni with the chicken strips [Music] for you yeah actually i got something for you yep watch i've been doing this tour for like 10 minutes [Music] [Music] how long do i have doctor a month at best but on the bright side you're lucky that you have these moments little jimmy here is going to die in three days you think you're [ __ ] better than me think you can beat me watch [ __ ] [ __ ] how is my big scary panther you recording yeah okay we're gonna try to light the frozen fire pit i told you like kiss kiss one more kiss all right snow that won't go in your cheek come here no no pass me the bag like when you go to the beach and someone yells shark shark and then they just realize that it's steve carrell doing the backstroke when you go to the beach and you swim out past the buoys do people think that there's an island there i'm not that fat man you are no i'm not that fat you're pretty fat if you were to do like my percentage of body fat versus your percentage of how much your nose weighs i guarantee that your nose per capita weighs more than what i was all right thank you fatso point is i'm not that bad okay okay i'm not that fat we have now [Music] [Applause] get out just come downstairs i'll get out no i just ate idiots excuse me ma'am i got these for you oh god i'm just kidding i was playing may the force be with you i want to buy this what's the point i just want to buy it actually i changed my mind do you guys know that your body will literally tell you what it needs all you have to do is listen to it big mommy milker [Music] [Music] hey baby hey okay so do you want to get i'm trying to hold hands with you i'm sorry do you want to get the slightly salted ones or do you want to unless you're wanting the rice cakes i don't think popcorn is down this way huh i don't think popcorn is down this way oh okay where do you where are you no here i'll which one here i'll put that yeah that'll be good [Music] what are you laughing at what am i what why are you laughing i just like holding hands with you [Laughter] in her apartment couldn't get in touch with any emergency services because there was just such an over abundance of people that were trying to make contact i just caught the baseball that's what you hear in the background nice grabs anyway but first i have a few words for donald trump who we all know is watching so president trump you spent the last two and a half years full time trying to sow hate and division among us hey nelson [Music] nelson [Music] okay okay for all you people wanting me to bring my dog inside malachi come inside come inside come on come inside i can get in trouble for animal cruelty if you do not come inside come on malachi hey this is very slippery now just uh heading out to check my cows you really gotta make sure that you know they're staying warm in these north winds my happy happy guy oh just a happy happy happy or just a look at that happy birthday dog or just a happy happy [Music] happy [Music] [Music] so [Music] hmm [Music] i got a beautiful car here for you all i want is seven thousand dollars look at this [ __ ] seven thousand dollars for this car but i got a slight dent in the back you give me seven thousand dollars all you gotta do is [Music] my life i have my time back and i can get what i need without going to the store.com today [Music] you

Channel: MemerMan

Views: 5,122,456

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Id: b0AcsbFVkMU

Length: 16min 55sec (1015 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 19 2021