MEMBERSHIP was a BAD IDEA | Starting a 2nd CHANNEL INSTEAD!

how did you know I needed you come on wait come here how did you know thank you you just know your mama huh oh you too gosh I got all three come on daa oh there you go come here Willow come here Willow come here Willow oh good girl I've got all three of them here all the Doodles hi sweet girl you're just a little bit aren't you Isa over here Winnie over here and Willow right smack in the middle just get comfy Visa don't let me get in the way I don't know that there's anything better right [Music] now I don't know that I have the right words for today's video but I had to come on and find the words because yesterday's video I was not very mindful of things that I should have been more mindful about things that I should have thought more about and what I mean by that is yesterday I came on and for those of you who saw the video or didn't see it um I had come up with the idea of separating my DIYs and my updates and that is something that I have been pondering for a while that's been weighing on me because the last two videos before yesterday's that I had posted there was quite a bit of uh backlash and lack of support and some unkind people and as I know that there are more kind and supportive people than there are uh the opposite the unkind people when there is an overabundance more than usual as a Creator it kind of or even as a person it hits you kind of hard because it wasn't something that you were expecting and so it had been weighing on me quite a bit trying to come up with a solution because I want to update and I I want to continue updating because I don't mind being transparent and I don't mind sharing my vulnerability with people because it helps me and and and I do these updates because I want it to help other people as well and there have been times in this journey where I have felt lonely and it's not just lonely in the physical presence of beings being around me it is lonely in the sense of being alone with my feelings and my thoughts and feeling like nobody understands what I'm going through or what I'm feeling when I say nobody I mean the people within my life and in my circle and there really is no way that they can because the people in my life didn't watch a son or a daughter battle cancer at a young age and then Decline and die from it and and they didn't have a child die so they can't understand and even fathom what I'm going through and what I'm feeling and that is why I post because there are times when I do feel alone and I post a video and and there is somebody in the comment section that that understands what I'm going through it's reality parents lose their kids for a number of reasons and it has done something to me inside that I am trying to bounce back from but when you are surrounded by people that don't understand and can't empathize or simp eyes or even know what you're going through it is a very lonely place to be sometimes you just need to be heard and and the person hearing you hears you because they know and um I by no means had any intention of using the members only feature on YouTube as a means to exploit race death that um that has never been my intention is to exploit my son and there are people that have voiced to me and asked me and disagreed with me about posting such personal content on the internet and have told me that I should not be doing it and it is wrong and my response to that is this as it may be wrong for you that doesn't mean that it's wrong for me because I feel like even though it is personal and it is hard that that is the very reason I should be posting it because there is somebody out there who feels alone and feels like me and maybe I help them just as much as they helped me and so as it may not be for you that that's okay you're allowed to be that way but I'm allowed to feel like it's okay for me to post something so personal on a channel that I created a platform that I created if it's helping me in multiple ways it's helping me cope it's helping me help people it's helping me talk about it and it's just helping me and I'm allowed to have that and I'm not wrong for having that and needing that and and and that is what's great about this world is it is diversity I don't want to be like everybody else and I don't want everybody to be like me then that is diversity and that's the beauty of it and that's what makes the world what the world is is full of beautiful complex people that are different it was never my intention to exploit raise death for money absolutely not and those words are even hard for me to spill out because that was never my intention what I should have been more mindful about and I wasn't and I apologize is not being mindful that there are people that don't have the budget to do the members only who have been following me loving me and supporting me and I should have been more mindful of that and I wasn't and I am honestly going to tell you I'm going to blame it on I haven't been my normal self and I feel like in the past I would have been more cognizant of that and mindful of that and I really was just trying to find a happy medium into separating the DIY and my updates that was the only intention behind that and I thought that that was a solution and it was not a good one and I will say that and own it right now that was a horrible solution and I am so sorry for it there will not be a Members Only video thing for my updates I was asked why I didn't just start another Channel and the only reason I never started another channel is is because starting another channel is a lot of work and to me the task just felt impossible to maintain two channels this channel here is my pride it is my it is my happy place it is my inspiration it is my baby it's what I love and I uh don't want to take away from that and it just felt impossible to do two channels at the same time but I am going to make every effort to do that this week I'm going to make a go of it because as much as I am in a really hard place in my life right now I need the outlet and when I feel like I can't speak about what's going on in my life I feel suppressed and then I feel claustrophobic or I feel like I'm suffocating and that is a horrible feeling because this is what has gotten me through my mom mom my sister and my divorce and right wrong or indifferent as it may not be for some people it is for me and I need it and so I hope that if you are here for my DIYs that you will stay because I am working really hard to get back to that and I hope that if you were here for my updates that you will stay and follow me to my other channel I am going to work this week really hard on getting that up there is no charge I I genuinely and sincerely apologize for that it was not a means of exploiting my son for money and charging for it that was not it at all it was just to separate the two I am by Nature somebody who feels like they need to justify and um explain myself and that's something I'm working on right now is is because I don't like being judged unfairly or incorrectly if I've done something wrong I will take accountability for it I have no problem for that I am I am the first one to say that I've done something wrong and take accountability but when I am misjudged or mischaracterized uh my character means everything to me and so I do justify and I need to probably stop doing that but you know for now it is what it is it's what makes me me and I've got uh bigger problems to sip through right now than that um that'll be for a later date I want you all to know that YouTube is a huge aspect of my life and I would imagine it be talked to any creator that on this platform they will say that any Creator who's been here for a while and work to establish a platform like I have and above me um will say that it is a huge part of their life and um I did it because I wanted to make my mark on the world and my mark means and is defined as impacting people's lives in a positive way inspiring people teaching people and connecting with people and I feel like I've made my mark on the world and I want to continue to do that and it is important to me to do that so for now I hope you all have a fantastic week enjoy your Sunday uh I'm sorry for posting this type of video I felt like it needed to be posted and um I'm going to get back to diying and stay tuned for my new channel come sit with me for now Prett [Music]

Channel: Kelly Barlow Creations

Views: 56,145

Keywords: Kelly Barlow Creations, Stinkin Cute Productions, Crafting on a Budget, KB Creations, The Crafted Life

Id: hbFblJczE6c

Length: 13min 11sec (791 seconds)

Published: Sun May 19 2024