NARRATOR: She was one of the
most gifted and most famous child actors of her generation. KAREN GRASSLE: The kid
was an absolute natural. She just came by it. It was in her. NARRATOR: She had a perfect
family life on TV's "Little House on the Prairie." MELISSA GILBERT:
Every episode there was something to cry about. There something to
be joyful about. There something
to be angry about. MARY MURPHY: She held the
country with this image. This is what we
wanted children to be. NARRATOR: Off
camera, she struggled with a different reality-- her parents' divorce,
her father's early death. I don't know how she did it. She-- she's very tough. A lot of people don't
realize how tough she is. NARRATOR: She came of age
in the glare of celebrity as she journeyed from child
star to grown up actress. Having people know who you are
and feeling like you're watched all the time, which you are. NARRATOR: Even as she
seeks out new roles, she has finally found
a stable family-- her own. Melissa Gilbert, star of the
'70s TV drama "Little House on the Prairie," survived
a family drama of her own in October of 1995. Only seven months pregnant
she suddenly went into labor. I'm downstairs making
coffee early in the morning, and I hear, honey,
something's wrong. I go, oh. And I was, you know,
caught totally unprepared. NARRATOR: Melissa was
rushed to the hospital and gave birth to a boy,
Michael Garrett Boxleitner. Gravely premature, Michael was
quickly taken from his mother and put on life support. I remember how painful it was
for her to see her little guy, you know, with tubes going every
which way and to see something so little and so precious and
not knowing if everything's going to be OK. MELISSA GILBERT: I stood
over that baby and I-- I willed him not to
have all of the things they said he could have. I willed him to not
have a perforated bowel. I willed him not to
have a heart attack. I willed him to stay alive. NARRATOR: Little Michael's
difficult birth was vastly different from his mother's. Melissa Ellen Gilbert
was born 31 years earlier at French Hospital in downtown
Los Angeles on May 8th, 1964. Unlike her son, Melissa did
not have her birth mother to guide her through those
first few days of her life. Melissa's biological parents
each had three children from previous marriages and felt
they could not afford to take care of their new daughter. They put her up for adoption
the day she was born. The next day, Paul and Barbara
Gilbert, a young couple living in Hollywood who were without
children, adopted her. As soon as she was
born I ran to see her, and I just always felt
like she was mine, that God meant her to be mine. NARRATOR: Paul and
Barbara eventually moved to suburban Studio
City, a middle class community in California's San
Fernando Valley. The Gilberts were a
show business family. Barbara was a former
actress and dancer. Barbara's father, Harry Crane,
was a comedy writer who helped create TV's "The Honeymooners." Paul Gilbert was a successful
entertainer and comedian. MELISSA GILBERT: The first
thing that comes into my mind is sitting in the back of a
nightclub on my mother's lap watching my father do his doctor
routine in his stand-up act. That-- that's the
first thing I remember. NARRATOR: As a toddler, Melissa
idolized child star Shirley Temple. She'd performed Temple's
song and dance routines in her living room for
family and friends. But Melissa's parents discovered
just how strong Melissa's urge to perform was during
a family vacation. We took her to that little
marketplace in Honolulu, and there was a stage and
she ran up on the stairs and she was dancing. So that was kind
of an indication. NARRATOR: Melissa's early years
were full of Christmas mornings and backyard birthday parties
shared with friends and brother Jonathan, who was
adopted in 1967. But despite the trappings
of a happy home, Melissa's family life
was falling apart. Her parents divorced
when she was six. Paul Gilbert moved
into a house nearby to minimize the impact
on the children, and he remained a strong
presence, spending holidays with the family. Melissa appeared to take
the divorce in stride. MELISSA GILBERT: There's a
lot of moments in my life that are or should be very
traumatic that are just sort of fine. They're just OK. It happened. It's bad and it's sad. OK, let's have our
feelings and let's go. And I operated that way
for a really long time. NARRATOR: Outwardly at least,
Melissa was a happy girl. In 1970, a family friend was
struck by her vivaciousness and suggested that she audition
for television commercials. So I took her, and when
they asked her to come in, the director was sitting on
the floor with a couple of kids and she ran through the
door and she gave him a big hug and a kiss. And I thought, oh
no, they're going to think I told her to do that. NARRATOR: Melissa's freckled
face and outgoing nature bowled over the directors. Before long, she was appearing
in dozens of commercials. Dad! Dad! Pam, what's up? My check-up. Only one cavity. That's great news, honey. She had a charisma
in those commercials. Even from an early
age you could tell. So many kids her age don't
have that kind of confidence. Want me to teach you
about the holidays? Yeah. Well, all these people come
over and you have to kiss them. Aunt Marsha brings this yucky
yellow salad with marshmallows all over it. And Aunt Lou always cries. MELISSA GILBERT: It was
a candy bar commercial, and in the audition
they asked us if we knew how to ride a
two-wheeler bike because it was about a father and daughter
riding bikes in the park. And I said, yeah, of course. I'd never been on a two-wheeler. And I got it. And I got there and I didn't
know how to ride the bike. And they rewrote
the commercial so it was about a father
teaching his daughter how to ride a two-wheeler bike. NARRATOR: Commercials led to
small roles on television, but Melissa met her first
major disappointment when she auditioned
for the lead in a TV remake of her favorite movie
"Miracle on 34th Street" and didn't get the part. And I was actually
fairly devastated about it. And I couldn't understand
why because, you know, what-- I was used to getting
pretty much everything I auditioned for. So I didn't-- it
was a big rejection. NARRATOR: Melissa looked
to her father for comfort at the loss of the part. MELISSA GILBERT: And I remember
my father saying to me, don't worry about it, Missy Do. That was his nickname for me. Don't worry about it, Missy Do. It just means that something
better is going to come along. NARRATOR: Melissa was careful
not to get her hopes up as her mother coached
her for another role-- an audition in which
she would compete against 500 other girls. NBC was preparing a new
family-oriented series called "Little House on the Prairie,"
based on the popular books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Melissa was up for the lead. She had no way of knowing that
the role she was auditioning for would change
her life forever. NARRATOR: In 1973,
nine-year-old Melissa Gilbert joined over 500 little
girls to audition for the lead in a
new NBC series called "Little House on the Prairie." Though Melissa's acting was
mostly limited to commercials, Melissa's mother Barbara
Gilbert had a gut feeling. When "Little House" came up,
because it was my favorite book as a child, I thought, well,
I can't sort of let this go. NARRATOR: Melissa auditioned
for Michael Landon, familiar to TV audiences
as Little Joe Cartwright on the long-running "Bonanza." Landon had already signed on
to write, direct, and co-star in the new show. I don't remember being all
that impressed or bowled over that I was going to do it. And I certainly didn't know
who Michael Landon was. NARRATOR: Melissa's audition
knocked Landon off his feet. He immediately
told NBC executives he'd found Half Pint-- Laura's nickname in the series. He also told his daughter
Leslie, who attended the same school as Melissa. LESLIE LANDON MATTHEWS:
So the next day I said, are you Melissa Gilbert? And she said, I am. And I said, my daddy
said that you're going to be Half Pint on
"Little House on the Prairie." and in a heartbeat she just
flew up out of the bench and ran away from me. And I found out later that
she ran, called her mother. Her mother, I guess,
called her agent. NARRATOR: "Little
House on the Prairie" portrayed the Ingalls family
struggle in 19th century Walnut Grove Minnesota and
their relationship with the eccentric townsfolk. Set against an idealized
vision of the American West, each episode functioned as
a morality play with pig tailed Laura the eye of the
show's melodramatic storm. I was introduced to her,
and it was the scene where we were leaving our former
home and heading off into the unknown. And she said, do you
have your tears ready? And I looked at this kid
and I said, yes, I have them in my pocket. NARRATOR: Laura's archenemy was
Nellie Olsen, played by Allison Arngrim. Nellie was the curly topped
manifestation of frontier evil, a sort of Shirley
Temple from hell. Despite their epic
rivalry on camera, they were fast friends by
the end of their first day. I remember just this
tiny little person coming into my dressing room saying,
well, here's what's going on. And she knew everything
about everyone on the set. She had the whole rundown. It was more like getting
your update or your report from the executive producer,
not from an eight-year-old girl. NARRATOR: Little Melissa was
fascinated by all the hustle and bustle on the set,
which distracted her from the pressures of a million
dollar a week prime time show. MELISSA GILBERT: There
were always animals around. There were always other
kids to play with. The hard part about being
there was that I wasn't home. I wasn't with my peers. And my time was not my own. NARRATOR: "Little
House on the Prairie" debuted on September 7th,
1974 to critical acclaim and high ratings. Amidst the cynicism of
the Watergate scandal and the Vietnam
War, "Little House" was a homespun elegy to honest
values and a simpler time, and little Melissa had a
lot to do with its success. She really did stand
out in that show. I mean, it was Michael, and
it was Melissa, and then everybody else. NARRATOR: Melissa became
a TV star overnight. At the age of seven, she had
one of the highest Q-ratings in the business. In other words, she was among
the most recognizable stars on television
Meanwhile, her family helped her cope with her
sudden and burgeoning stardom by ignoring it. That, to us, was not the most
important part of our life. It was our family
and her education. And we didn't even
get involved in Emmy Awards and all of that stuff. It sort of eluded us. NARRATOR: Melissa, appearing
in nearly every scene of "Little House," seemed
unfazed by the weight of her responsibility. ALISON ARNGRIM: When you're on
a television series as a kid there's a lot of pressure. I'm always amazed that-- that
she didn't just go absolutely bloody raving mad. She not only
wasn't overwhelmed by the-- by carrying the show. I think she was also
invigorated by it. NARRATOR: Despite the
demands of her work, Melissa was also expected
to keep up with her school assignments. HELEN MINNIEAR: She
did remarkably well, I think, with all
the distractions, the interruptions of the
time when she was in school. But she concentrated, and
she was determined to do it, and she kept up with her grade
all the way through, which makes me glad. NARRATOR: And Melissa found time
to learn more earthy lessons on the "Little House" set. MELISSA GILBERT: I spent
as much time as I could if not in the grip truck
next to the grip truck. I learned a lot of
very colorful phrases. Sometimes there's a stream
of expletives that come out of my mouth, and I know that
that is our key grip just channeling through me from that
time I spent outside his truck. NARRATOR: Landon
ran an efficient set but also managed to keep
younger cast members amused. MATTHEW LABYORTEAUX: During
very emotional scenes, Michael loved to-- and Melissa
actually picked up on this later. He would love to tell you a
joke right before he'd say-- right before he'd say action. LINWOOD BOOMER: Michael wanted
to put a frog in his mouth, and in the middle of a take-- middle of a very serious scene
talking about the fatal illness of a loved one, all
of a sudden a frog would pop out of his mouth. KAREN GRASSLE: But
for adult actors, those things are
not as heartwarming as they are for kids. The adult actors on
the show came to me one by one privately,
quietly, and said, I don't think Mike likes me. And I said, oh, no, no, no. That's just Mike. Everyone has asked me that. NARRATOR: Melissa loved
working with Landon. She began spending weekends
and vacations with his family and became friends
with daughter Leslie. We just had the best time. She came to our
house all the time. I would go to hers. And she was like a sister
when we were growing up. NARRATOR: The atmosphere
was different in Melissa's own home. Her mother Barbara
married Harold Abeles and soon gave birth to
Melissa's sister Sarah. Melissa kept her distance
from her new stepfather but continued to visit Paul
Gilbert when she wasn't with Michael Landon's family. But in 1976, 11-year-old
Melissa's world was torn apart when
after suffering a stroke her father died. ALISON ARNGRIM: It
hit her pretty hard, and here she was also
this little thing working and holding down this show. So yeah, the stress
did take its toll. It was pretty harsh. NARRATOR: Although Melissa
sought to keep busy with work, she struggled with
the loss and the pain. MELISSA GILBERT: It's hard to
even find the words to describe how painful and difficult a time
because I don't think anyone's really created a word that-- that describes the devastation
a child feels when, you know-- that I felt certainly
when I lost my dad. He was the center
of my universe. NARRATOR: Landon's
fatherly presence both on and off the screen
helped Melissa handle the grief of her father's death. I wanted him to be
my father substitute. I loved that man. And I loved the way I always
felt safe crying with him. Now, granted, it was on
film, but generally I was crying about what was going
on with me for real when I was with him. And he was always
there to hold me. That's the only time I let
that stuff out was on film, so he was there in most of those
scenes comforting me, you know? It was a twisted father
daughter relationship, but it was a father daughter
relationship in my eyes. You need a Half Pint. You see? Half Pint. That's a name you give
to someone who's little. I've been calling you that
ever since you were little. But I'm not little anymore. Michael Landon was the
most controlling person I'd ever met on a set. Writer, director, producer,
shots, this, that, everybody did what he said,
but in a loving way. And this show
reflected who he was and what he never had in life. LESLIE LANDON MATTHEWS: I don't
think I've ever actually told her this, but I remember there
was always this little bit of jealousy that I felt for
her because she got to spend so much time with my dad. NARRATOR: Those years on the
set were some of the happiest of Melissa's young life. But as Melissa grew to depend
more on her "Little House" family, Barbara Gilbert began
looking beyond the hit series for a better, different kind
of showcase for her daughter. It would be a highly
educational time for Melissa, fraught with trial and error. NARRATOR: In 1978,
14-year-old Melissa Gilbert reigned as America's
prime time sweetheart on TV's "Little House
on the Prairie." The real life drama of her
father's death two years earlier and the demanding
schedule she endured helped turn her into a deeply
emotive yet quietly controlled professional. A lot of kids watch a show
and they see something that would be identified
as cute or appealing, and then they would
just go for that. But she would get better in
her work as the years went by. It was really remarkable. NARRATOR: In time, however,
Barbara and Melissa began searching for
opportunities outside "Little House" that would make the
most of Melissa's talents, but the projects that
presented themselves didn't always show
Melissa in the best light. MELISSA GILBERT:
There are films that-- and things I've done that
I definitely never want to see again and
would hope no one else would ever see them again, like
"Dick Clark's Live Wednesday." [music playing] And I thought, well, I guess
I'm doing her a disservice because now it had become
not just something for fun. NARRATOR: Barbara formed
Half Pint Productions and immediately began developing
projects tailored for Melissa. The company's first was a TV
adaptation of "The Miracle Worker." MELISSA GILBERT: My mother said
she's got to play Helen Keller. It's the greatest role
written for a young actress, and she should do it. And she will-- you
know, she'll kick butt. And I thought, yeah. Yeah, OK. If Mom says I can, sure. NARRATOR: In a bold
casting choice, the show's producers approached
former child actress Patty Duke to play Annie Sullivan,
Keller's teacher. Duke had won both a Tony and
an Oscar portraying Keller. She now agreed to play
the role of Sullivan but was unsure of how
best to assist Melissa. I'm not sure I paid a
whole lot of attention to Melissa in the very early
days of the rehearsals. Also I had made a stupid
promise to the director that I would not discuss the
role of Helen with Melissa. [music playing] NARRATOR: As filming
began, it became clear that 13-year-old
Melissa was floundering, lost in the complex
challenge of playing Keller. In her first major role
outside her series, Melissa was headed for disaster. MELISSA GILBERT: I realized,
oh my god, I can't do this. I can't be blind and deaf. How am I going to do this? I've never been blind and deaf. NARRATOR: Duke knew she had
to intervene to help Melissa with the demanding role. PATTY DUKE: There were certain
areas where she could have used some guidance and she
wasn't getting any. Good. Girl. PATTY DUKE: And then finally I
thought, I don't care anymore. I'm going to talk to her. And I tapped on her
on the shoulder. Psst. And she came back over the seat
and I said, we have to talk. And this big grin
came across her face. NARRATOR: With Duke's help,
Melissa triumphed as Keller. Wa-- wa-- NARRATOR: The show garnered Emmy
nominations for both of them when it aired in 1979. MARY MURPHY: In that role you
could tell what a good actress she was becoming. And you know, at a young age. And much advanced
from "Little House." in "Little House"
she was contained. In this one she was
just bigger than life. She really was Helen Keller. [music playing] NARRATOR: Duke came away
with an Emmy for Best Actress and newfound
admiration for Melissa. PATTY DUKE: I think
that she instinctively knew that I respected her and
that I respected her position in life-- child actress-- having
walked those cobblestones. NARRATOR: Melissa built on the
success of "The Miracle Worker" with critically
acclaimed performances in "The Diary of Anne Frank"
and "Splendor in the Grass," all projects chosen
by her mother Barbara. But Melissa's acting
success came at a price. She was rarely in school
socializing with other children her age. She was intimidated by
classmates she hardly knew who were in turn
intimidated by her fame. Meeting boys was even worse. Things weren't
much better for her when she developed a crush on
childhood friend Michael Landon Jr. She attempted to
make her feelings known during a sleepover with
Michael's sister Leslie. LESLIE LANDON MATTHEWS: I wake
up in the middle of the night and Melissa's not in my room. And so I go creeping down
to my brother's room, and here was Melissa in
my brother's bed spread out kind of posed and her hair
is completely just fluffed out onto the pillow like it
was a cover magazine thing. So my brother comes
home from this party. He sees Melissa in his bed,
and he just wakes her up. He says, get out of my bed. What are you doing in my bed? We laugh about that. And I hope she doesn't
kill me for sharing that. NARRATOR: Although Michael Jr.
took Melissa to her senior prom when she graduated in 1981,
their high school romance was tinged with Melissa's
desire to be a part of Michael Landon's family. Her frustration
extended to the set as she began her eighth
season on "Little House on the Prairie." She felt trapped by a role
that no longer challenged her. To be seen as the perfect
America's sweetheart and have to carry that burden,
how do you have a normal life? Nobody's perfect. Everybody's a bitch sometimes. NARRATOR: Complicating
the atmosphere on the set for Melissa
was an affair Landon began with his makeup artist. Just as Landon had
idealized the Ingalls family for TV audiences, Melissa had
idealized Landon's family. Now she felt abandoned. MELISSA GILBERT: He more or
less drifted away from me, and all of this stuff that he
had to deal with in healing and-- and fixing these
relationships with his children, why would he even-- why would it enter his realm
that he might have something to say to me? I totally understand that now. I didn't understand
that at the time. I was very hurt at that
time, but I get it now. By 1982, "Little
House on the Prairie," once a ratings
blockbuster, was failing. Both the actors and
their faithful audience had grown bored. When NBC finally canceled
the show in 1983, the cast gathered for the
last time in Walnut Grove. MELISSA GILBERT: He and I
were the last ones there that day-- the last day. And it was-- we had
some quiet time alone. And-- and he basically turned
to me and he said, you know, for you this is
just the beginning. NARRATOR: The "Little House"
family on which Melissa had come to rely was gone. Now 19, she was free to reinvent
herself in any way she chose. Eager to shed her pristine past,
Melissa abandoned her Half Pint persona. She embarked on her
first serious romance-- a tumultuous relationship
with "Brat Pack" actor Rob Lowe that
became an engagement. But the glare of celebrity
helped thwart the affair from the start. MELISSA GILBERT:
Everybody wanted to know. That relationship-- her
relationship with Rob Lowe. Are they together, or
are they not together? Did they break up? Are they back together? Who cares! It's the same thing that
everybody goes through in high school and college. We just weren't in high
school and college. We happened to be in front
of the world at the time. Every time I've seen something
that is blown out of proportion or fabricated, I'll call her
and say, oh, what do you think? Did you read such and such? And she's-- she'll say, yeah,
I'm so annoying, but whatever. And she really kind of
brushes it off pretty quickly. NARRATOR: Hounded by the tabloid
press and the ghost of Laura Ingalls, Melissa wanted
nothing more than to escape from the public, her
image, her family, and her failed
relationship with Lowe. A hastily arranged
trip to New York City would provide the
escape she needed and introduce Melissa
to a whole new life. NARRATOR: In 1987, 23-year-old
Melissa Gilbert found herself on vacation in New York City,
far from the sheltered life she led back in Los Angeles. With her mother's help,
she remained a popular star of TV movies. But despite starring in the
feature film "Sylvester," she was unable to make the
leap from television to motion pictures. Very few people-- didn't
matter whether you were a kid or an adult-- could leap from television
and movies at that point. NARRATOR: But the
vacation to New York became a permanent move when
Melissa accepted the lead in "A Shayna Maidel,"
an off-Broadway play about a Holocaust
survivor in America. Melissa, used to $75,000 per
episode on "Little House," was now working for $500 a week
in front of a live audience. It was a very intense play. But we very-- you know, after
a couple of months of weeping our way through it, we-- it
became really a lot of fun to do. NARRATOR: Melissa also
established her independence from her mother, Barbara
Gilbert, who had always been in charge of her career. MELISSA GILBERT:
That was my thinking. OK, I'm going to get
away from everybody. I'm going to have my own life.
I'm going to do it my own way. I'm going to do my own
thing in my own apartment, have all my own stuff,
make all my own decisions. And I got to New York. I didn't know how to do dishes. It was pathetic. BARBARA GILBERT-COWAN: I
stayed as close as I could, and you know, I wanted to give
her-- her freedom and her right to now test the waters,
but it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy. NARRATOR: During the run of
"A Shayna Maidel," Melissa met actor and
playwright Bo Brinkman. For the somewhat
sheltered actress, Brinkman was a far cry from
the men she was used to dating. MELISSA GILBERT: This roguish,
long-haired Sam Sheppard-esque, you know, drinking, smoking,
tobacco-chewing Texan who wrote plays that were done
in theaters and basements. NARRATOR: The two fell
head over heels in love, and it wasn't long before
they were inseparable. CORDELIA RICHARDS: They had
in common this great energy and-- and fun-- love of fun and love of life. And they made each other
laugh all the time. NARRATOR: Eight weeks after
they first met, Melissa eloped with Brinkman. It was an uncharacteristic
move that shocked her mother. BARBARA GILBERT-COWAN:
I just got a phone call that she was married from her. I think she didn't want
to tell me about a plan because I would probably
have discouraged the haste in which it happened. NARRATOR: Two months after they
married, Melissa was pregnant. And within the year she gave
birth to their son Dakota Paul. BO BRINKMAN: Mama! MIDWIFE: He's gorgeous. NARRATOR: But the family
she was making with Brinkman was jeopardized by
his chronic drinking. Melissa begged him to find help. That was the beginning
of having a voice, of being able to say to someone, no,
this is not working for me the way it is, that we need
to reevaluate where we are. We need to get help, both of us. It was difficult to
see her unhappy, yes, and suffering somewhat. You know, that was
definitely hard. NARRATOR: After a
trial separation, Brinkman finally
sought treatment, but their young marriage
was quickly deteriorating. In 1989, the three moved
back to Los Angeles where Melissa continued her
TV movie career, occasionally reuniting with her
acting mentor Patty Duke. Melissa also had an
emotional reunion in Los Angeles with her
other mentor, Michael Landon, at his daughter Leslie's
wedding in 1990. The two had not
spoken in seven years. MELISSA GILBERT: We had
a big long hug and-- and you know, a lot
of holding my face and telling me
how beautiful I am and, you know, and
look at my husband, and oh my god do you have
pictures of the baby. And I was showing him pictures. He said, this is
like my grandchild. You have to come over. We have to get together. This is insane. NARRATOR: But before Melissa
could introduce her son to her TV father,
Landon was diagnosed with inoperable
pancreatic cancer. There was little time left
for the two of them to meet. Melissa realized just how
little time when she saw Landon on "The Tonight Show." MELISSA GILBERT: When I saw him
he was just so frail and so-- he never got up. He didn't get up the
whole time I was there. We ended up having a really
wonderful day together. We sort of acknowledged that
this was kind of the last time we were going to
see each other so-- then he actually
died a week later. And that was--
that was a bad day. That was a bad day for-- for everybody. It still is a bad day. NARRATOR: For Melissa,
Landon's death in 1991 was a blow that echoed the
greater loss of her father's death 15 years earlier. Now her "Little House"
family was irretrievably lost and her own family was
also falling apart. Melissa and Brinkman
finally agreed to divorce later that year. CORDELIA RICHARDS: I think Bo
had some things in himself he might have had to
deal with that were too much for a young marriage. It was just a lot too fast
and, you know, maybe not enough underpinning,
you know, to support it. I'll tell you,
the greatest thing I walked away with
from my first marriage was an even stronger
sense of myself. And I knew clearly what I
needed in my life, who I trusted in my life, what kind
of work I wanted to do, and how I wanted my
children to be raised. NARRATOR: Now 28 and
raising her young son, Melissa sought out the
discipline of a regular TV series and the surrogate
family that it could provide. In 1994, she found what she
was looking for in NBC'S "Sweet Justice." Melissa played a young lawyer
who faces down her lawyer father played by Ronny Cox. It was quite a departure for
a young woman who was still heavily identified as Half Pint. RONNY COX: There's a whole
segment of your fans that don't want you to grow
up, that don't want you to change, that-- that don't want you to
have adult problems, and we all have to
grow and change. NARRATOR: "Sweet Justice"
premiered to lukewarm ratings, but Melissa's professional
disappointment was tempered when she met
actor Bruce Boxleitner, star of "Babylon 5." BRUCE BOXLEITNER: She was very
kind of jeans and cowboy boots, the kind of girl I kind of like. And we lived a
similar lifestyle. And she-- she just had her--
her whole presence was just very strong, very confident,
and it was so refreshing to me at the time. NARRATOR: But Boxleitner,
14 years Melissa's senior, was reluctant to commit to
a more serious relationship after the failure of
his first marriage. BRUCE BOXLEITNER: I was
bound and determined. No, I'm not getting
married again. One time, that's it. We had other children,
and that's always a challenge for anybody. NARRATOR: Boxleitner finally
agreed to marry Melissa, but then he panicked
and called it off. They got back together. Then he called it off again. And that was hard. That was painful. I had to put my foot down and
say, OK, you know, big guy, this is it. It's time to move on. NARRATOR: With a fiancee
who was afraid to commit and a television show
that was floundering, Melissa's future was uncertain. The end of 1994 found her at
a personal and professional crossroads. NARRATOR: Melissa Gilbert
seemed to be on a roller coaster during the second half of 1994. Her new series "Sweet
Justice" was struggling, and Melissa had now been jilted
by her fiance Bruce Boxleitner not once but twice. Again, she buried
her pain in acting. RONNY COX: We really
did have a sort of father-daughter relationship,
and so she confided everything in me. And so I knew all the things
she was going through, and there were problems. And they would be
highs and lows. NARRATOR: Boxleitner was afraid
of failing at another marriage, and at age 44 he wanted
no more children. Melissa, now 30, was eager
to marry again and have another baby. It was me. I mean, I take a lot
of the blame for that. I take-- it was me still
fighting against it, you know? Fighting the bit as they say. NARRATOR: Despite
their differences, the two agreed to marry anyway. They married on
January 1st, 1995. They shared their home
with Melissa's son from her marriage
with Bo Brinkman and Boxleitner's two sons
from his previous marriage. Determined to make
their new family work, the two attended
marriage counseling right from the start. BRUCE BOXLEITNER: I think every
marriage in every walk of life has these pressures. And I think that it's necessary
to work day by day on it and never let it down,
never stop working on it. NARRATOR: Melissa finally
found what she was looking for in her personal life. Unfortunately, "Sweet Justice"
never caught on with viewers, and it was canceled
after one season. Melissa had no time to
mourn the loss of her show. She found out she was pregnant
in the spring of 1995, and her son's premature birth-- a full two months early-- was excruciating
for the newlyweds. BRUCE BOXLEITNER: I
remember going, getting in these hospital
greens in the hospital, and it seemed like-- you know
how many sets I've been on, how many hospitals
sets, and I'm feeling like I'm going to do a scene. NARRATOR: After a lifetime
of emotional self-discipline and control, Melissa suddenly
discovered she had neither. MELISSA GILBERT: And I
sit down with my therapist and I'm crying and going,
oh my god, what did I do? It's something I did. I caused this. But he's going to be OK.
I'm going to make sure he's OK. And she went, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. First of all, who gave
you the power to cause it? And who's handing you the
power now to make him live? It is what it is, and you
just have to be there. NARRATOR: Little Michael Garrett
Boxleitner survived the trauma of his early arrival. His relieved parents brought
home their healthy son on November 15th, 1995-- five weeks after he was
born but more than a month before he was due. MELISSA GILBERT: I feel that you
only learn from the stuff that causes pain. The good stuff just
sort of breezes by. And unfortunately, we don't
focus on it enough and kind of take it for granted. But it's when you
lose someone you love or when you go through something
painful or-- or something horrendous happens that you--
you take your greatest steps, you do your most growing, and
you learn exactly what you're made of and who you are. Sam? NARRATOR: Melissa continues to
be a highly sought after star of TV movies-- a career she began
with her mother's help more than two decades ago. To date, she's starred in
more than 30 productions. Who the hell are you and what
are you doing on my property? I'm waiting for an answer. Come on. My name is Zach. Zachariah. That doesn't tell me what
you're doing with my cattle. BRUCE GREENWOOD: She's really
in the moment as an actor. She just-- whatever you're
giving her she feeds off. She doesn't really come in
with a plan of exactly how to do something and ride that in
defiance of all the other stuff that's coming in. Whatever you feed her, she'll-- she's easy to play with. You just toss it and
she'll toss it back. NARRATOR: But as
Melissa has matured, she has looked for a place
behind the camera as well. MELISSA GILBERT: I
don't want to have to fight a natural
progression in my life. I found a life of my own. Now I have to find a career
behind the camera otherwise, I mean, you know,
one of those bad face lift people who
shall go nameless. OK, let's rehearse
it for camera please. NARRATOR: One of Melissa's
first jobs behind the camera was directing an
after school special. Action please. NARRATOR: But her next project
brought her career full circle when at 35 years old
she executive produced a documentary on child actors
with friend and fellow child actor Tony Dow. TONY DOW: My wife
Lauren and Melissa and I got talking about
all the pitfalls that had befallen child actors. And Melissa and my wife
were saying, jeez, there so many of us here that
are, you know-- they're OK and we're doing well and,
you know, why don't we do a show about that? NARRATOR: Melissa and
Dow ultimately assembled over 30 child actors. The show was therapeutic
in many ways, giving Gilbert a
chance to revisit some of the shadows that
accompanied her early career. TONY DOW: We all
have this-- grew up with this incredible need
to please people, you know? Please our parents, please a
producer, please the director, please the craft service person. MELISSA GILBERT:
These are the people that love you conditionally. They love you if you're cute. They love you if
you're professional. They love you if you're on time. They love you if
you know your lines. They love you if you're good. That's where the
conditions come from. And if that's the majority
of where your time is spent, that creates a
very insecure kid. NARRATOR: Emboldened
by the documentary, Melissa took up the
cause of child actors as co-chair of the
Young Performers at the Screen Actors Guild. She's discovered after more
than 30 years in the business that she belongs
to many families. BRUCE BOXLEITNER:
There is a pool of goodwill from the people. She is still continually
amazed at it. I keep saying, honey,
you're on television all over the world every day. NARRATOR: "Little"
House" survives endlessly and unchanging in reruns,
but Melissa Gilbert has moved beyond the prairie. Thank you. You're welcome. NARRATOR: Now acting is
both more and less for her-- more than her only
outlet for emotions she once stifled, and less
important than her family and her happiness. But it's still important. MELISSA GILBERT: I'll be out
there hopefully, god willing, if they want me, when
I'm in my 80s, you know? I want that Lifetime
Achievement Award. I'm going to earn that
Lifetime Achievement Award. And it's not just going
to be for one thing. It's going to be
for a lot of things. Watch. [theme music]
