MEGAN ASHLEY Almost Lost It All but Didn't Lose Her Love For God | Dear Future Wifey Ep813

I like to ask people what did you learn about yourself from your past marriage um I learned that um first of all it's it's impossible to have healthy love without the Lord like I feel like it is impossible to have a healthy love without it being rooted and grounded grounded in Christ um I learned that I am I can be manipulative I can be passive aggressive I can um I can be defensive all the things like you learn I want people to hear this cuz see a lot of men y'all don't think women can be accountable now look at this I know you heard that on social media like women can never be accountable oh mouthy disrespectful all of the things you said manipulative what does that look like in a relationship um I think I'm I'm really good with my words so like the thing that you're gifted in I feel like is the very thing the enemy tries to attack will attack you in and he'll so the very that God wants to use you for for his glory and for his kingdom is the very thing that the enemy wants to use you for for his his agenda and and plan and so um when my heart is far from the Lord I can be manipulative in my um in my in conflict and and and trying to be defensive and trying to get you to come to what I want you to come to every second that escapes without you here with me keeps my heart anticipate waiting till I finally see you when I made my BS I toldot that I was going to take care of this gift my life I've been waiting for you girl you know I've been praying for you been writing these Love Letter us so I fight for that future in the present you know what I'm saying that was to the Found Love for the and New Beginnings from heaven above I await my future wifey I pray that it won't be too long too long every second welcome to a dear future wifey podcast I'm your host l terce r WiFi listen are you still shacking up with us if you're still shacking up with us can we get a commitment hit that subscription button and subscribe make sure you turn on your notification Bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes and go and hit that like button so this video can be recommended to other people that may be perusing on YouTube and while you're at it go ahead and sign up for the melon list there's a link in the description you know Season 8 has been very intentional on the guests that I've chosen for the podcast as with every season but this season is about love it's about uh Sharing Hope uh a lot of people who have dm' me have said that they have been they felt hopeless on this journey of love and they feel like they don't have their purpose partner out there and they've their hearts have been mismanaged they've gone through divorces and they just kind of feel like you know God just may not have uh love intended for them and so I like speaking to people that can speak life into your situation and today I have a very very special guest I've been watching her on her journey she's been unapologetically transparent and vulnerable and that's what I love most y'all know the moniker of the podcast is we keep it lit we live intentionally and transparently and this guest is the epitome of that without further Ado welcome to the dear future wifey podcast my homie Megan Ashley Brooks I might as well say that how you doing Megan Ashley good how are you can I call you by your all your names yes you can come all the names all of them so Megan how how do you feel how you doing I'm doing good happy to be here I woke up pretty early so yeah how early did you have to get up to come on to Dallas so I didn't go to I went to bed at like 1:30 and then woke up at 4: 4: or like 3:30 and your flight was at what time we left we flew out at 6:45 oh yeah yeah but I live an hour away from the airport so I had to be up early oh wow okay all right but you in here we're here I'm happy to be here thanks for having me Megan Have you ever have you heard of the dear fut wifey podcast yes of course what have you known about it before we go deep dive into your story so I just have seen a few episodes with some guests that I love the Pitman and um Kevin on Sage and his wife and um the one EP my favorite episode obviously is the one where where Whitney wig fell off yes so if that was you would you allow me to post that absolutely you would have let me just post your hair your I mean the way that she handled it yes cuz it was too funny it was the niggga for me I was like yes that she was like I was like that was just the let me tell you something I slid all the way out this chair you understand me man cuz I didn't know whether to laugh or what I was like looking at her I was like I know she embarrassed watching it slide back it was the slide but see I didn't know that was a wig I thought that was a natural hair I didn't either and she she said that you know the crazy thing about it was that she had told people who had dm'd her well she didn't tell them that she just accepted them saying girl I love that you wear your natural hair she like thank you that's hilarious and then to watch it like that's crazy was gone that was that was one of my fa so yeah I know I know um a little bit about your journey and how you started started this podcast to kind of you know prepare your heart and prepare yourself for you know love again I think that that's dope man when I tell you that was the most uh vulnerable task that God beset before me he was like listen I want you to do this and I was like and you and I had this conversation when he told me to do the podcast I was like well God you know I think that every episode I'm supposed to be able to say and here's five five steps to getting closer to this here's three steps of getting healed and all that I said but God I don't know the answer to all that and God said I know just just just do what you do and take people on the journey I said people be interested in me trying to figure it out he said absolutely you and I had a conversation about how when the last podcast you were part of it ended uh you was like you was about to just slide off and fade off into Oblivion yeah and then God said what what what what did God say to you you know what he it's not what he said is what he didn't say so much you know what I mean my mom always T me she was like you know if you don't know what to do next do the last thing God told you to do and so if he hasn't given you anything new to do just obey the last thing he told you to do until he says something new and so wow um I I prayed and you know approached God often about what what what am I supposed to do what do you want me to do Lord am I supposed to continue am I not and he that was very clear like do what I told you to do the last thing I told you to do and it was to share my journey and be transparent so how' you feel going from having a uh a co-host and then doing a solo I hated it I hate it I hate it so I mean I need to St I need to watch my words and don't hate it but it's a CH it is it's very uncomfortable and it's a challenge for me um because I never you know imagined a life where I would be doing this on my own you know I just never imagined that and so um to be thrusted into something like that it was just something that I wasn't expecting how's your healing Journey been going since that I mean cuz you experienced a a loss of a best friend a loss of a podcast that you're working on a loss of a husband all around the same time you know within the a one year span to what what how how how did you reconcile that um I think that knowing that God is Sovereign and he's like not caught off guard by anything that he knows everything and and knows the days ahead of me and you know what I mean so I just I think I found comfort and safety knowing that God wasn't caught off guard by anything and yet he still loves me and yet he still has called me and yet he still has you know ordained me to do something specific in this time and so I think graveling with the fact that the Lord actually loves me has been the the biggest part of healing from all of those things you know is knowing that God loves me that was like my biggest thing was that something that you wrestled with growing up with God's love yeah I think I I don't think I really you know I don't think I ever really like came to terms with the fact that God loved me because the enemy was so after my thoughts in the opposite and making and causing me to feel unworthy because you know my dad wasn't in my life the way he should have been and so when your father you know that's your that's the foundation of how you kind of receive love whether he's present or not like the that role and that position in your life um it matters and I think um you know me and my dad have a great relationship now but um he's human and his Humanity affected my humanity and um and it was hard for me to know that was actually worthy of being loved um and I didn't come to that realization until last year were y'all able to have since then has you and your biological father reconciled it oh yeah we're we're really I mean me and my parents are so close like I'm really close to my parents and I'm so thankful for that but I mean it took hard conversations you know me and my dad are very similar we are hot-headed people you know Megan you hotheaded I I can't I can't see that in you you seem so meek and mou the Lord does a work okay that's how you know the Lord is real I'm just saying the Lord is really real he is real cuz I am m a heathen so you talking about when you was when you was growing up you was like that in high school how are you you w you was one fighting nobody was you no but I just had a mouth you know just you talk too much you just talk too much shut up you're mouthy were you like that in your past marriage yes and and so that's Megan without the Lord mouy I'm just mouthy you talk stand for mouy mouy just you talk too much and so even in your past marriage when that was an issue that your your ex-husband call you out on that say oh yeah I mean yeah he didn't shy away from calling me out on anything that's probably why we're in the situation we right now it's like he called me out all the time I like to ask people what did you learn about yourself from your past marriage um I learned that um first of all it's it's impossible to have healthy love without the Lord like I feel like it is impossible to have a healthy love without it being rooted and ground grounded in Christ um I learned that I am I can be manipulative I can be passive aggressive I can um I can be defensive all the things like you learn I want people to hear this cuz see a lot of men y'all don't think women can be accountable now look at this I know you heard that on social media like women can never be accountable oh mouthy disrespectful all of the things you said manipulative mhm what does that look like in a relationship um I think I'm I'm really good with my words so like the thing that you're gifted in I feel like it's the very thing the enemy tries to attack will attack you in and he'll so the very thing that God wants to use you for for his glory and for his kingdom is the very thing that the enemy wants to use you for for his his agenda and and plan and so um when my heart is far from the Lord I can be manipulative in my um in my in conflict and and in trying to be defensive and trying to get you to come to what I want you to come to you know what I mean so how how did you come to this well probably therapy huh therapy is helpful but I always I mean it's like you know yourself I mean you know what I'm saying like truthfully like you know you you can but sometimes you may not be aware you you you may be like you lie to yourself so much that you believe that but you know you also lying to yourself you know what I'm saying like we have to keep it a buck you lie you lying to yourself you know that you're you know that you're mouthy you know you're Moody you know that you're manipulative you know that now you can try to make excuses as to why yeah right but it's like you are you know you try to you try to blame and say well if you wasn't like this then I wouldn't have to do this yeah and I think at the end of the day you have to take accountability for your role you know what I'm saying like regardless of how what caused it or whatever like you have to take accountability for your role you know what I'm saying but when did it get how long did it take or what year did you come to this knowledge of yourself to be able to articulate so last year I told you that's when everything hit like everything I mean and like I said I've always known like okay man you're being you're being manipulative stop like I would be in the middle of an argument and be like all right now you're taking it too far it's like just give it up but but but H but here's the thing it's it's knowing it's it's God brought me to a place of humility do you know what I'm saying cuz I think that we are so prideful that we don't want to admit that this is an issue and I need to get it fixed or I need to you know be honest about why I'm doing these things or whatever um so it's just a pride thing it's just like you're prideful you're prideful is there a way of avoiding heartbreak you said stay single well is that statement true if you sincerely desire marriage that actually would mean you'll be breaking your own heart you can imagine how many DMS or emails or comments I receive with people asking me matters of the heart well I'm excited to announce that on Monday April the 15th we'll be going live for a free event in celebration of our 4-year anniversary of the Beloved dear future wifey podcast we're going to be hearing from past guest and I have a big announcement that's going to be truly lifechanging so I want you to register today at identif you.com that's i d n t i find f i n d the letter u.com identified you.com can't wait to see you [Music] there was it a a moment where you just sitting your your room or sitting at home where you were in worship or just crying before God because all this stuff started crashing down and you had that come to Jesus moment or did it come in stages you were in church and you heard a sermon I think I mean it did come in stages but I think like the moment that I I was in so much pain just like pain like sad right like my marriage is over you know my friendship situation was really really bad and Rocky and um and so I think that I came to a point like when I was in that much pain where my heart was aching so bad from that I came to a point where like I committed myself to him fully then that's why the podcast is called in totality because God was requiring my life in totality not just parts of my life and I realized through taking inventory um and being aware and and acknowledging what you know what my life had come to um I realized that I had given him so many parts of me but never had I given him All of Me In totality and so um that was a moment where I knew I have to commit my life to him fully without any not leaving any part out fully he can have my life fully um and then it and then it grows in stages right like the more I started reading my word the more I started praying the more I started dedicating significant time to him the more I started to include him in everything the more that that commitment stays you know stronger and it's a everyday thing like I have to do this every day every day you know like commit every day I would be remissed if I didn't ask you the elephant in the room uh the question of what happened in that relationship and your friendship to be honest um I just think that people you grow you know and and I I don't I don't know if it's one specific thing um I think that you just grow and you realize you know maybe this this doesn't serve me anymore on both sides and so um you know you just want the best for people and then you just kind of move on for whatever God has for your life and you bless you know whatever they got going on you just bless them and you move on how did that feel though from a cuz it's painful it sucks it felt like a death oh it is it absolutely does I mean it still feels like a death you know it sucks it's not easy is there times where something happened you want to pick up the phone and call your best friend you be like that don't you pass that stage yeah no there there's none of that but there is you know it's grief you know and there's stages that come in grief there probably was a time where I wanted to do that um I'm not at that place right now um but you know it's grief you go through it you go through the stages of it but I think more than I think I think more than my attention being on those things my attention is on the Lord my attention isn't on those things anymore of How I Feel Like Making It All about me how I feel what this felt like what they did to me what it's just like my focus is on the Lord let me ask you this cuz sometimes it sounds like we over spiritualize real emotions when you say my attention is on the Lord but this is a real loss you lost from a friendship there's a loss you lost from a husband now you're in a co-parenting situation holidays come up you got to negotiate where the kids go all that type of stuff um how do you process that real stuff cuz sometimes as Christians we can overp spiritualize and people are going through stuff right now and they like I'm trying to put my attention on the Lord but I'm physically hurting right now because I'm mourning the loss of this man or woman that used to lay beside me in the bed like like I'm mourning the loss of that my kids are saying is Daddy coming home my I'm feeling like am I going to ever get married again whatever these questions are and then people be like well Jesus is my husband well truth be told people don't really want Jesus to be their husband I mean okay that's what y'all want I mean I think I think I think that it's okay to acknowledge and be aware of what you feel facts right but I do believe that feelings are temporary I really do believe that and I do believe that when we stop and pause right CA pause and consider and Ponder on What God Says towards what we feel about what we feel I that's what I mean by that I'm not ignoring and nor nor do I you know I I I'm not recommending that anybody ignore what they feel but take what you feel take inventory and now compare that to what the word of God says about it and stop making it so much about me me me will I ever get married will I ever do this well what is the will of God for your life and that's what we need to be asking for God what is your will for my life because a lot of times we find ourselves in pain and in situations that if we would have considered God in the first place we probably wouldn't be in these situations so instead of focusing the attention back on you focus the attention on the Lord God I feel this pain now what do you want me to do with it because the Bible says cash your cares on him for he cares for us so here Lord here is my pain here is my anger here is my resentment here is my my uh venges that I want to that I want to give to someone here is my offense here is my unforgiveness help me like we need help from the Lord you know what I'm saying like we can't do it on our own and so I think that's what I mean by my attention is more on him than focusing on how I feel you know what I mean I asked you a question that and I love the response and I don't know if you're going to give the same response when I did the pre- interview but I said you're single now how many kids you have I have three you have three kids three boys yeah and having a single woman with three kids is and what are the ages my oldest is 13 my middle is 11 and my youngest will be 10 in May and I ask you do you feel like it's going to be difficult for you to be remarried being a single woman with three kids not I I don't because I believe that the person that I will have next will be from God and I I believe that if you know when God brings that person into my life he have already had his heart prepared for what for who I am and for what I am um I am interested in um and I desire to be with somebody who seeks the Lord for me like for my heart for um to know me and to know how the father sees me and and how he wants him to respond to me so I believe that um if it's meant to be these kids ain't about to be an issue and they're older it's like we a a changing no diapers they are fine they can make their own grilled cheese their own chicken nuggets they're fine the reason why and you didn't fail me in that response again because we a lot of times people have a scarcity mindset and forget that God is God God ain't Instagram God ain't Tik Tock God is God and what I mean by that is that you can listen to all these gurus try to tell you well you know uh you a leftover woman if you this age and all this crazy stuff that we digest and ingest instead of saying but what did God say yeah God's words are yay and amen yeah God says that he can grant you the desires of your heart and the reality is often times we'll look around at our situation and we see it through our own lenses instead of saying but how does God see it and you said something so profound where you said I want a man that literally goes to God on learning how to love me um and that's so important that's who wrote the manual I did not write this man I don't even know me like you know what I'm saying I don't even know I don't know you have to seek the Lord who created me who formed me before he placed me in the wound of my mother you need to ask him because I I don't even know me I don't all the time you know what I'm saying in every way not the way the Lord knows me you know he knows us intimately and loves us intensely so those that's who we need to go to when it comes to loving our significant other like we re I feel like we only include the Lord when things are hard and not just initially making that like a a commitment and a consistency of seeking the Lord on behalf of the person that I say I love let me ask you this you so Spirit you so word filled have you always been like that like growing up I've always I've always been I I'm I'm really literal with my words so I can't say I always love the Lord because I know that I didn't I did not I did not love him I did not I I did not love him but I I was raised in church so God has always been a focus in my life he's all I've always believed in the Lord to an extent you know what I'm saying but the Bible says if we love him then we obey him and I know I know I didn't obey him in so many seasons of my life so I can't say that I loved him all the time um but I've always just like been in church and had this fire for God like deep down inside me and it's always been a part of my conversations really yeah always so when you even when you were dating in high school or yeah even then sin even when I was a hot talking about the Lord yeah I mean if always if it came up or something was going on or if I had to if I wanted to encourage people like encourage a friend or whatever God was always included in that that's just how I've always and so you feel like you know we've saw the the growth throughout the the years or whatever but did it just really Elevate last year that's where you was just like I'm unashamed I'm unapology I'm going to just go all in yeah because what what do you mean cuz a I mean it's like isn't that what we supposed to do you see what I'm saying like we have we we've just live in a society where we have compromised so much with our walk that it's common now like living like this in for Christ in totality is radical you're too much it's too it's not that deep listen all right I I read I read the Bible and I know that there is going to come a day where we're going to stand before him and have to take account over the things we did do and the things that we didn't do every Idol every word is going to be taken into account right you know what I'm saying so yes yes it is that serious to me yes it is that deep to me yes I am committed fully and if if that's radical to you then that's radical to you I'm sorry but I'm not I don't want I want at least be a voice that is not going to compromise because there are so many that do and I get it you get caught up in the I get it but it's like I can't I can't I can't know something and do something opposite of what I know I can't I know what the Lord has done for me I know how he picked me up right like the old folks used to say how he picked me up turned me around and plac my feet on I get that now you know what I'm saying I know his word now so if I know it and I say I love him he said Christ said if you love me then you obey me you do what I say it's not an option he is Lord not just savior he is Lord and Lord means that he has to have full Authority and Domin dominion over your life in totality not partially he doesn't require partial Faith he requires you to believe fully in all like all of it consider the Lord in all your ways like it's it's either All or Nothing do you think it'd be challenging to date you probably this is why I'm single probably you're like let me ask you something do you think there is a man that wants to deal with you oh know I I know there are no there isn't I mean I'm saying I'm I'm talking about no that trust me you speaking that language I like uh and so the reality is that but have in the experience of it do you find that guys may be well let me just ask you do you even I haven't dated to know so I don't know larius I don't know how you don't know Ashley you no you you ain't talking on the phone nobody nobody going be sliding your DM nope liter I'm not and when I say I'm really not lying I will I give people my phone all the time like you can see it's nobody I'm not lying I'm not lying there is no one and then the people that do slide in DM you know it's like you know what what you know Megan Ashley it's like you need you need to maybe get some help and then see what the Lord does with your life I don't know but it's nothing like substant like there's no substantial like like solid people that are in my DMs that's okay so so you don't you don't so basically you just don't go on dates or anything I ain't been asked nobody a been trying to hook you up your friends and stuff be like I got the perfect guy do you feel like that's the best way is somebody to try to you know buy referral I don't you know to be honest with you I don't know because this is so new for me like dating is so new and then you got married young how old were you yeah I was 20 oh yeah so oh yeah you wa yeah you I was so young but then it's like now being an adult and not compromising in my faith like this is the like no no explain what that mean you say not compromising in my face for all the men that may not know what that mean I'm just not compromising like I'm like I talked about it on on Valentine's Day like I'm not having sex until I get married that is I'm just not and that just that just weeded out a whole lot of people no seriously he was like and click I don't want to I don't even look at her no more she just too much it's not that deep but it is though and I just can't cuz I know better and I believe I I agree with you right there um and and so when you said that on Valentine's Day did do you ever get women cuz I what people don't know is this a lot of women when I I took a valve absence in 2020 on my podcast um I've fallen off throughout the times throughout That season uh oh well throughout the years uh but my heart posture still I want to you know wait till marriage to have sex with my wife but I've had women surprisingly that I'll go on a date with that be like oh no we going to have to have sex I ain't no way I'm going to marry you unless we have sex first it's the crazy I mean it's not the craziest thing I get it but it's just like again if we love them it's just the bottom line but then they but then they try to get real so Megan say listen now okay I love Jesus we know all that but at the end of the day I can't be married to somebody that I'm not pleased sexually with you don't love the Lord stop lying you don't love him they say megn you can't tell me I don't love Jesus I love I love the Lord I love the Lord I can because the word says this is how I can the word says if you love me you'll keep my Commandments you keep my Commandments you'll obey me so if sex is supposed to be saved for marriage then that is a if that's a commandment and that's something that God has required and you're trying to compromise on that then there is some love that is not there for the Lord period all right so then they say this Megan they say listen well you know a lot of men they they struggle with erectile dysfunction at a certain age so I got to see if that thing work so I need to be able to test that thing out something to and and to see because at the end of the day I can't be marri to somebody and I'm end up cheating I'mma end up cheating if I marry somebody and it don't work he said Christians y'all just over y y'all not being real you're not being real this is a real thing that people are dealing with so why would I sit here and take take vows with somebody and I don't even know if they penis even work let me let me let me let me let me say this you know what was real what's real the cross oh Lord and so told you the same power that raised Christ from the dead and raised his penis that's what you about to say can do anything he rais penis from the dead there the the Lord is the the the Holy Spirit can help us with anything do you know what I'm saying whether that man has a dysfunction or not whether it can ever work out in that way or not if the if God called you to that person then his grace is sufficient and so if God has called you to that person then his grace is sufficient for you to wait let me tell you how powerful that is cuz it it brought back uh to my remembrance an interview I did in Free Port free Port Bahamas that's where it was and this couple talked about how for the first five years of marriage or something or seven years they only had sex like three times because she was dealing with a medical issue and you know and it was just so painful or whatnot and then and each time she got pregnant and then while she was pregnant you know her medical issues subsided or whatnot but they had to work through five years of that and now you know they're having you know an abundant sex life but and I asked him I said did you ever cheat during that moment he said no he said I thought about it she even encouraged me to she was like man I know you need to go get this she he was just like no he said I couldn't do it but God gave him the grace to cover his wife through that moment yeah another situation same thing where I had the Smiths on this older couple the girl the the the wife she goes by bad girl r504 and from New Orleans and she real funny but she talked about how uh during their first year of marriage you know she was dealing with you know um issues down there or whatnot and he was just like he was just pray you know she had a very strong bout of endometriosis and um and he would just pray and and and just suffer through it with her or whatnot and she's like she was like I just wish he could have just I wish I want to have sex so bad cuz she was very vibrant sexually and she just said that through that season and that's what we don't understand is when we take these vows we take these vows through sickness and in health and don't realize that a lot of us just really don't want to sign up for that yeah and too I think I think a lot of times we're just not aware how selfish we are you know what I mean like is this about you or is this marriage to glorify the Lord like who is it about you know what I'm saying and I get it like you want to like and I believe that God wants us to have fun in our marriage I believe he wants us to have you know abundance in all the ways you know but I think that marriage is a union that glorifies the Lord and what does that look like I was going to ask you that what does that look like for you I mean I think like let me ask you did your past marriage glorify God um I would say I I not not totally I think that yeah not in totality I think there might have been times that maybe in the beginning you I don't know it when life just gets so busy you know what I'm saying and when you have babies that are young just life happens and before you know it five years have gone by and you're like oh my gosh like how did we get here um but not especially not towards the end now and I just believe that that's important I believe that your marriage should glorify the Lord I feel like it's a it's a sacred Union that glorifies him so and when you when you and maybe you haven't even gotten the framework mentally from what that looks like for you in your next marriage do you have any type of reference in your mind where you say this is what I'm talking about that glorified God does that mean that we have to be preachers and we travel around the world and preach the good news or how does your marriage glorify God I think it's like you know how God I don't know who said it in the Bible but knowing god and the power of His his resurrection and his suffering I think it's that like it's the good and the bad and learning how to um navigate and endure all of the things in love all of the things that comes with a marriage it's just enduring it all and being committed an unwavering commit commitment even when things are hard because marriage is difficult you know it it looks easy nowadays on social media but like it's challenging like this is the person that's going to bring out the ugliest parts of you and it's going to show you the ugliest parts of them and so if you don't have Christ at the center of that I don't know how people make it and are healthy do you know what I mean like healthy not existing but healthy I don't know how people do it when you look back over your marriage do you think there were some things you could have done to save it oh I'm sure I mean like everybody has a part to play absolutely but sometimes just feel like they may have just married the wrong person all together and they just try to make it work and maybe sometimes that is the case um but I think that you know I think divorce Grieves the Lord I think he you know it hurts his heart and so I think that if we're you know not mindful of again keeping him at the center and including him in All Things yeah you know what I mean like just even in the practical ways of like Lord this man just really upset me me yep before I even respond to him help me help me so that I can be effective in my communication so that you're glorified even though we're in this disagreement Lord my my my prayer is that you be glorified in this I pray God that you give me eyes to see him the way that you see him so that I have Grace and empathy and compassion for whatever he might be dealing with like are we hold hold on hold on the Megan Ashley hold on you said hold on you said that's that's that's the mindset that you have now yes absolutely I just think that I think that I think that this life isn't about us I don't believe it's about us I I believe that it's about the Lord and so when things happen in in relationships especially marriage because marriage is supposed to be the example of Christ love like Christ and his bride right so it's supposed to show that Dynamic and so I just don't believe that I'm in a marriage to benefit me and I did not know that before I was in that marriage because I wanted a husband I wanted the family structure I wanted the you know what I mean like it was me me me me me but did I get into this to glorify the Lord to be an example of of the church and this relationship between Christ and the church like did did I have like an intentional mind frame in going into this marriage am I showing do I want to have like a kingdom mindset in my marriage like to to to advance the kingdom of God in my marriage so Megan let me ask you this so you feel that in a point of anger you could take on that heart posture that you just articulate now because I have the Lord in my life yes but before no before it would be bet bet bet at bet F You2 and bet I mean yes without the Lord that is my heart posture but with the Lord because because your because my when you when you do something to somebody else we think that that's separate than doing it to the Lord oh God that's good do you see what I'm saying like my my disrespect towards my towards my spouse is a dishonor towards the Lord like I'm not just offending my spouse I'm I'm I'm offending the Lord hold but where did this come from like the Bible are y'all reading no I'm talking how you just transition that quick in in less year because God can cuz God can do a work in your heart like when you surrender your life to him he can really do a work in your heart and change some things like you know what I'm saying like I think you hear how you sound you don't hear what you you like that it sound like you don't went through a master class a metamorphosis Awakening with God an encounter feel like I did I feel like I I mean but and it's it's a everyday ongoing process because I'm so it sounds so like cliche and corny but I really am in love with the Lord and I love reading his word and I love getting to know him and because his way is just better you know what I mean like his way is just better than my way I've tried all the other ways and I don't want to waste another year of my life not doing it his way cuz his way is always better it's always better he's never failed his track record is immaculate so I just rather do it his way so if that means I have to humble myself when I'm angry yes I'm making that about me Lord okay help me I'm angry I'm not going to deny that I'm angry I'm angry help me though help me I would love to know what that feels like to experience a woman like that like literally like a woman that can sit there ain't that right King like that's a not ain't that right King yeah I got to talk to my boy over there J he said I need a man forget you yeah cuz cuz you understand what I'm talking about like he know what I'm talking about that be sounding too good to be true don't J Man Ain Li to you let me tell you something that's that's a different level I mean but it takes it takes work you know what I'm saying and I'm not I'm not perfect at it that's where my heart and my int what I'm saying but I'm talking about to even be self-conscious and aware yeah to think of that ahead of time I've offended the Lord enough I've offended him enough and I've heard enough people by by my heart not being close to the Lord I don't want to live that way anymore you know what I mean and we we we feel like we have all the time we we we wake up with arrogance and pride and thinking that we have tomorrow guaranteed to us and we don't we don't so I'm going to spend every day of my life as best I can intentionally living for the Lord even in my thinking in my responses in my offense in my unforgiveness in my job in my kid as a mother as a friend as I'm going to consider the Lord period I don't have we don't have the time and everybody can play around and act like you have all the time in the world because you have preachers that are telling you you're going to be a millionaire this year and a billionaire this year and that's not the truth the Bible says we don't know the time nor the hour tomorrow is not promised period And so time is up on being soft in this approach to how we live for Christ it's time up and then we wonder why our relationships are so messed up and we wonder why our platonic relationships are so jacked up and we wonder why I I don't I have anxiety and I'm depressed and I'm this and I'm that are we really taking our relationship with the Lord serious do we love him or do we not bottom line and everybody has to get to that place on their own I'm not saying everybody has to you know this is my conviction this is based off of what I know about the Lord not saying that everybody has to you got to come to that on your own but as for me right in my house what I do where I'm at praise the Lord all the time you touched just quick quickly on like mental illness and you've been very open and honest and vulnerable about your journey of suicide ideation suicide attempts um how have you been well matter of fact just share that with the people that don't know what has been your journey with with illness um I I probably since I I think I told you since I was about 16 I struggle really bad with depression and suicide so at that time both sets of my parents so my mother and my step stepfather and my father and my stepmother were getting divorced at the same time the same exact time around the I think they were like a month or two apart from each other so life was just like and I'm 16 and so I don't know if anybody knows but like scientific facts show that uh girls at the age of 16 are like mentally uh what was it Jordan like they're mentally clinically insane they're clinically described as insane because their hormones are so our hormones are so crazy and we're growing so imagine that's what was wrong with my daughter around that AG imagine being 16 and going through both of your parents getting a divorce you know it was it was hard for me and feeling like you know both of I felt like at the time my parents were so focused on their divorces that I was just a casualty and they weren't really focused on the effect that it had on me which I totally have Grace and empathy for because they're human right so like I'm going through it right now so I get it you know what I mean so I have Grace and empathy for my parents and I know that they you know especially my mom like she did what she could she did her best um but I just felt like I kind of got caught in the crosshairs of all of those things and I just fell into um you know cutting and and depression and just wanting to die and even trying to I tried to one time I tried to take a bunch of pills and the Lord was like girl you know and I woke up and I was like so embarrassing like I can't kill myself right right like that's embarrassing to wake up after trying like I hated that you know it was it was like girl stop you have to live and do this work so I love you get over it you know yeah I love you get but I mean I struggled for a long time up until about 20 22 um is when well the end of 2021 was the last time that I was physically like harmful to myself and um and I believe that the Lord has delivered me from suicide and depression like I don't have those thoughts and feelings I don't even remember the last time I had like a thought like that so how'd you cast down that imagination the word of the Lord where they they and they had you on medication around that time so in 2019 I was diagnosed with bipolar depression that's when I started to get on um try different medications and so and that it's so hard because you have to try it for at least three months you don't and they don't know how you're going to respond to it and so I tried four different medications and had four different like reactions to all and they were horrible either one was like massive headaches or one was like I couldn't sleep or the other one was too much or the other one was like no physical um like body in certain places would just be numb like I couldn't feel anything so it was just weird like weird and I just it wasn't for me I was becoming like your body in certain places would feel numb yeah like certain places body that prob that's probably the problem huh you said that you would have problems with your body and certain parts would just I wouldn't feel I wouldn't have any sensation to it in certain places so yeah it's it's like you you really do your research and really like but they always testing it they like try this well try this dosage let's do 10 milligrams of this well let's do five let's do 20 the Holy Spirit you need to ask for wisdom and discernment when it comes to that like get a doctor I I advocate for mental health so like get a doctor get a therapist I I advocate for that but you need the Holy Spirit to help you to know like okay Lord help me in deciding what medications help lead me into the right research to look up like all of those things cuz the ho hly spirit will help you um and then make it a practice to know your word and to like the Bible tells us that we can cast down imaginations anything that tries to exalt itself above the Lord like we can cast those things down and so but you only can do that knowing his word yeah and so I encourage anybody who is struggling in their mental health like the Lord cares about your mental health don't let anybody tell you that the Lord doesn't care about your mental health that he doesn't like he's empathetic to us right we have a we serve a lord who empathizes with us that's what the Bible says he empathizes with us so ask him for help in stewarding how you navigate through your mental health whatever it is whether it's medication therapy whatever include the Lord into that don't don't don't disclude him from from that process you done been through some things mean you done been through some things it's crazy right and and every time it goes right back to the word of God fighting that stuff off yeah the word of God that's it you said the word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword yep that's what the word say and you said crystals can't do itst can't cut through that I'm sorry they can't Sage can't cut through it I know you want it to it ain't doing nothing but making your house smell that's it your house just smells like stuff I get it though I was listen y'all I was saging crystal I was charging crystals I was doing all tuning forks I was doing all that mess tuning Forks what's that yeah it's like I don't know vibrations I don't know I was doing all that all of it did you see it work a little bit no I did not I told you I didn't have I had hot rocks and a smoky room it's fine Mega I get it you smoke you a smoky room yeah and Hot Rocks from charging them in the Sun that was hot hot rocks and your house SP a ag oh yeah sage and rosemary sage and lavender just walking around talking about she it's like that it doesn't work that way it doesn't work that way talk about in the name of Jesus what what are you talking about put that put those herbs away please put in some food but yes if you don't go make a pot roast and sit down Lord have mercy Crush that lavender and get your some oil take and take right girl I know the Holy Spirit was like oh here she go with them rocks there you go with them rocks they ain't going to do nothing what you say charge them in the Sun hot rocks hot crystals that's it I'm telling you the word of God that's all you need I'm telling y'all just read the word and so you are rooted and grounded in the word of God I didn't take one Crystal one Sage one rock one nothing into my new home and I have had the peace the peace of God is in my home every person that comes in my house says it I can feel God's presence in this house that's the biggest compliment the biggest compliment you can ever get oh the so um when Amanda and um MJ came she was like when I got off the plane in Atlanta I could feel the darkness like the principality was when walked she was like when I walked in your in your house it was like breathing fresh air she was like I could sense that God has been here and that's the and I'm telling you and I did all without a rock without a sage without anything the presence of God is in my home because I make room for him teach do you see what I'm saying I'm not I'm not I let him have F like you can inhabit all of this space I'm not saying Lord you can have this space and Sage you can have this space and rocks you can have this space and uh sound bowls you can have this place no this place Belongs to the Lord he can inhabit all of it not some of it all of it so yeah that's it I don't have to have no Sage or none of that and I like that you know I really like my my bowls I thought they were so nice and lovely I did it I a throw I a throw I don't use them I haven't thrown them away cuz they're so pretty you know but I don't I don't use them anymore you use it to bake cakes in this is decorations decoration yeah let me let me that's it that's it y'all please stop saging in Crystal in your home sorry man people being in so many arguments about that I'm tell Sage we working you gotta you got to open the windows up you just get the sage and I be like listen all right I'll be like okay but we've adopted these principles in the body of Christ we literally and and you'll see it and you're and you find yourself trying to debate with fellow Christians about stuff that is Witchcraft and I think that's the thing that I um like if you ain't saved do your thing grab your sage and your Crystal like I don't I have no expectation or you have no like okay that's you don't but for those who say they believe in Christ it is I'm just saying the same power that resurrected him that resurrected Christ from the dead is the same power that lives in us so we have all we need 100% when we have the Holy Spirit we have all we need like he left us his Spirit to help us he didn't leave us rocks and Sage he didn't they was not in that upper room with rocks and Sage I can guarantee y he w i I can promise you they were not he said was in the upper room they said they devoted themselves to prayer and the teaching of the Apostles not anything else teach that's it teach teach this is going to be interesting this this this relationship Journey that that you know this love journey is going to be interesting because you have to have a rooted you have to have a man that's solely rooted in the Bible he can't be some typical churchgoer somebody just attend church because trying to appease you you know because you're going to be able to identify quickly real quickly quickly like oh counterfeit bye I mean get behind me say gone beat it I do not have time for that because truly I do believe that marriage is supposed to glorify the Lord so if it's not going to be that like if it's not that then no like it's no matter how f is n how much money you got no I a that's not appeasing to me at all which was surprising to me you were just like you just don't now now now I know you saved sanctify fill with the Holy Ghost evidence of speaking in tongues and all that good stuff but you tell me you don't care the financial status of a guy I'm saying it's not my focus but do you care if you met a guy that was tongue talking believer uh uh your kids have become his own he looks at it like this and all that and he's like I cover you he prays over you he washes you with the water of the word and all that and let's say he's making we say making $50,000 a year if if that's what the Lord has called him to do then that's totally fine because I don't I'm not in the marriage for that you know what I'm saying and I do also believe that any man that is rooted in the Lord is doing what God has called him to do and I believe that the Lord will provide all his needs I believe that so I so for me it's like it really don't matter if it like the man that I know that I will marry cuz it either be that or I won't marry which which I'm cool with too um but he will be a man that loves the Lord and allows the Lord to lead him in all that he does and so even in his in his job whatever that is I believe that he will be doing what God has called him to do and when you do what God calls you to do he supplies all of our needs I wish this this is the narrative that's spoken about on social media is being in purpose because we always we always make purpose finances and I keep saying the people get it wrong they get it so wrong because I remember in Seasons where I wasn't oh I'll tell you this I was talking to a couple in uh Jamaica beautiful couple uh that was on the podcast and they were talking about in the seasons when they made the least amount of money they were the happiest from a marital c as a couple they spent more time together their kids were th like they they were the happiest and then what happened was he went to go chase money got him a job uh and they were separated like he was working in Kingston and um making more money news broadcast doing all this type of stuff working for news station and wasn't spend time with his family family was falling apart kids didn't even know him when he came home but was making more money yeah and he felt the Holy Spirit tell him save your family lead his job Al he left the job people called him stupid you know they like what is wrong with you making all this money now you going to go and and and go try to figure it out like literally trying to figure how you going to pay your bills and you going to leave your job that that don't even make sense he said people called him stupid people called him crazy people laughed at him and he said and in that decision he was able to save his marriage he said money don't mean nothing to me yeah cuz the Bible says seek ye first the kingdom of the Lord and all his righteousness and everything else will be added unto you all these things shall be added like so I think that's what I'm saying and I I'm whoever I marry next he will be a man that seeks the kingdom of God first but you said something else that I don't think a lot of people and I don't know if you really believe what you said you said that you would be happy if you never got married again yeah I'll be content really really mhm why because don't you talking about the Lord and the Lord going to be my husband no I'm not the Lord going to be my H Lord cannot be your husband y'all please stop with that he is not your husband I mean I guess with the bride in the church whatever but you'll be consent you'll be content content never marrying and you're young because this life is a this life is so short it's a vapor you know what I'm saying like we're not I we're here not to we're like we're here for a reason and a purpose and and it's to prepare us for eternity right you know what I'm saying like in eternity our Focus isn't going to be our spouse isn't going to be our children isn't going to be our jobs isn't going to be be our influence isn't going to be like our focus is going to be on the Lord we're worshiping the Lord forever and ever and ever and ever so my life and my job now is to be in preparation of that I am going to sit in eternity and worship him forever forever and so I need to be preparing now to worship him forever like now I worship him all the time you really believe this yes my life ain't about to be the focus is on the Lord in in eternity not your marriage and so so I'm cool if I if it doesn't happen because I want what God wants for me if that's his will then cool like his way is just better than my way I I don't know but even on this Earth companionship having somebody hold hands with go to the movies with sit around and share and talk about your podcast in totality with and and talk about hey I just got this brand deal with you just you just saying that you so rooted and grounded in Jesus that you'll just be intent never having that and watching that be displayed through your friends lives going to weddings watching everybody else take NS and vows uh watching everybody else build Legacy together and your legacy is I experienced a broken home I watch my parents go through broken marriages I watch myself go through a broken marriage and I never had what I just articulated so beautifully this Kingdom marriage and a marriage that glorifies God that they will throw dust on and dirt on My Grave and never experience that you content with that mm that's amazing I mean that is freaking amazing that is that is my that is my that is my intent and my heart posture do you know what I'm saying like am I going to feel things I'm human so am I going to be at a wedding and that feeling might come where it's like d man I wish I but when I when I make it a a an intentional effort every day to posture my heart in the direction of the Lord then he becomes more and more of my go-to and more and more of my focus so that when I see people get married I'm genuinely happy for them because that's what the Lord has for them and I want whatever the Lord has for me you know what I mean let me tell you something and that's why you're going to have the marit that you desire I pray see I tell no no it's the truth because I understand I understand heart posture you said I I challenge you in this for a reason because what they've always found you you you'll see it it's the one that knows how to abase and how to abound the one that knows how to say God if this is for me thank you but if not thank you then God says you're worthy I'm going to give you the desires of your heart I'm going to blow your mind yeah I like that that that heart posture because I hear people say it sometimes and they and I'll be like you know you don't really believe that but you really believe that like you really I can hear the I I heard it you really believe that and I'm telling you as sure as I'm sitting on this podcast you going to have exactly that I pray because you're submitted and you're surrendered what God when God what God performs his best is with a surrendered heart because he says oh yeah so I can do whatever I want to with you good yeah and then the words of Megan Ashley bet bet but he's he's going to take what you do he's going to take the desires of your heart he says now I have fertile ground to do what I want to do and and I have submitted hearts that says not my will but let thy will be done and that's when God makes a miracle happen yeah I think that's important to have that hard posture do now I'm human so I'm going to have needs you going to feel whatever you going feel I'm not going to have a perfect response all the time but that is where I'm posturing my heart every single day that's where like when I go to the Lord I'm constantly asking him father examine my heart try my ways test me I want to be like you and so in any way Poss if I'm doing anything father that is is not pleasing to you if my heart is being selfish in any way help me because I want to be like him I really do and I don't want to compromise in that not relationally I don't want to compromise professionally I don't want to compromise I don't want to compromise in that his way is just better you a wife I thank you you know what it's like I talk about that on my podcast I say there's a sound of a wife and I and it hit me one day I was doing an interview with this couple Siobhan and Cheyenne and she was saying she was speaking and I just heard the essence of wife just as she was talking and they were just sitting there talking about their Journey uh and how his he lost his wife or whatever the wife passed away and then I was hearing how she was covering him in the process and and I and and tears just literally start streaming down my face she said what's what's wrong what's what's wrong and I said I will not compromise having a woman to I just started crying she was like she said well baby you don't have to you don't have to it's okay you don't have to baby I I would not compromise having to woman to God and the reason why that was so poignant for me in that moment is because I was listening to you know different people saying maybe your expectation too high like you want a woman that's going to be laying hands and praying and this type of stuff you want a woman that live and I'll be like hey am tripping you know all these standards and preferences I have is that too much because it's literally rooted in biblical truths and I'm like well maybe so then this is one girl that I was dating at the time was a friend that I had and uh wasn't no alignment whatsoever but I was just like well we cool so let me justs yeah let me just see if you know if this could possibly be anything and we think we can change like influence people to oh like we we're we're we're we have chemistry in need these areas and then so maybe I can influence him to be and it's like look y'all I'm telling you and that's exactly what I did I said well I mean I can influence her and I can tell this and she don't really read the Bible she don't really go to church like that she don't really she don't really talk about God like that she don't really have any but she's a good person a good person and she's an honest person she going to always be real with you and we got a solid friendship so let me try try try I did that for about two months I said what am I doing I said this it's just not I said I'm trying too hard it ain't supposed to be difficult and then one day she said she said that's not who I am she said I don't I'm not into all that God stuff like that and I was just [Music] like so you do I said I said boy I'm trying harder more you was disappointed disappointed I just like I said she's so fine I said if you could just be saved You' be a fine Christian do you love him at all do you love a little bit just a little bit he said a mustard seed do you have that do you have that do you have a little bit of that she said I don't listen ain't for me I would talk to about the podcast they be like Z did you watch the last episode she said I don't like hearing all they just be talking about stuff that I don't really care about you like but it's my pocket it's my pocket but it's my pocket it's my pocket yeah she didn't like you she said she said she just didn't like nothing that I like like that she didn't like you and that's what we be we be thinking that oh we just don't like the no y'all don't like each other you don't really like each other and then a crazy thing about it we be having a solid friendship and so it's like it's like we cool and this and we exactly be friends and and and she was like well I just and then she'll say stuff like I wish I could have a guy like you but it's just that you just too deep oh Lord I get that all the time or it's too deep or you're too deep it's like well I said well and that's why I said I'm content yes like if it don't like then cool cuz I know that who God is continuing to shape me to be I'm I'm submitted to that yeah and I'm not about to change who I am just to have companionship when I have the ultimate companion all the time you know what I mean like I I have the Holy Spirit that lives within me like I'm I'm good I am content with that you know what I that is enough he is Lord about say have you ever tried to Fashion a guy into the the the person you wanted them to be but you got married so young that yeah I mean me and with me and my ex-husband and we were so young that by the time halfway through our marriage we're look we're I'm sure there were many times where he looked at me and was like I don't even like you I don't even like you like you're repulsive to me I'm sure he did and I'm sure and I know I had moments where I'm like I don't like you do you feel like is it what people say people grew apart yeah or is just a lot of resentment sets in that no one for all that I think resentment comes in but I think you you know women we grow often like we change often and for men y'all really don't change like that you know y'all kind of do the same thing y'all been doing since yall was nine it's just bigger you're just a bigger person but you you know but women is like we we're so you know we we're so emotional and we think differently and we change and one day we like red and then the next day we hate red and then you know so we change and I think that a man this is why a man has to know the Lord and he has to seek the Lord on behalf of his wife or behalf of the woman that he's pursuing because you need a manual when that thing starts changing and shifting and she start you know what I'm saying you need a manual you need a guide because on the one that created her and I think if we're not Mindful and intentional at keeping God as a focus and saying okay Lord like I am forever like I think we need to be forever curious about the person that we're with forever curious like we just need to forever be curious like familiarity breeds contempt don't be too familiar don't don't feel that you got this person figured out and you just it's you no this is a treasure that you have and you should be excited about it every single day you should be trying to learn more about this person every single day it should be like an effort to learn this person every day you know what I mean and then when you make that effort then you're not growing apart you're growing together you know what I mean so yeah well dog going ass be talking that good talk boy I'm telling you boy good Lord see my boy over there he he agree he agree well we're around each other all the time but he he he still ain't got it still ain't normalized because he be out here in these dating streets so he hear a different type of language out here am I right or am I right I know I'm right am I right am I right you ain't got to answer that I'm right you ain't got to answer that I'm right because it's a different language out there that you don't know that men get a chance to experience out there and it's like it's you're you're speaking a different language it's a different thought process it's it's a different language because we're not focused on teaching the word of God like it's really not a different language it's it's biblical it's the same Bible so we so far away from the word of God so far away from the word we're so far away and and too cuz I'm I'm I'm always coming from a Christian perspective right from a Christ perspective because that's who I believe in and that's who I live my life for so when we have a bunch of teaching and preaching that is about self then we have a bunch of relationships that are about self Megan Ashley did you just say what you said when you said what you said and how you said it do you know what I'm saying yes because that just illuminated in my mind about the we are being taught that our most valuable relationship is about you your most important relationship is about you then how else are we going to approach other relationships when your relationship with the Lord is about you when you're taught that the that your relationship with the Lord is about you and what you can get from him and not for who he is and and what he's done and you know what I'm saying like it's about you so of course we're getting into relationships for us selfishly motivated we don't even approach our relationship with the Lord selflessly we're selfish and prideful and that's why we see the relationship statuses that we see now so there's that this girl ens slav me in the spirit it's just that right there just hit that hit the the Bible gives you so much context on how to deal with every relationship so this ain't new language the Bible has context for everything you just choose to read it and Obey it or you don't and I rather I wish people would just be more honest and saying I actually don't love the Lord and I don't believe his word so just say that well Megan ain't going to say that they they just not going to be heathens out here and agnostic and they are though but they are they are they are they absolutely are so just cuz you're not saying that's that's not what you identify with but your actions identify with that you ain't no no no repentance no holiness it's yourself your next million Megan actually you starting something you stepping on some toes right now not you are you stepping on toes you're offending people well my I'm sorry my my my intention is not to offend it really isn't I really just to believe that that's the truth though I believe not in every church and it's not every Pastor so let me be very clear it is not cuz I go to a wonderful Church what church you go to um 2819 in Atlanta um Pastor Phil Mitchell um but it's you know I'm so it's not every church and there are amazing churches in Atlanta too different churches that are great um but I think that we're seeing that like that is just the truth of the matter you tell tell a bunch of people that are in pull pits that are leaders that are Shepherds who are saying things that are contrary to God's word period And if we are not take doing our own due diligence and knowing and seeking the Lord for ourselves then we are going to be ignorant of it when it's preached on a platform we're just going to be saying Amen to stuff that don't even be in you what you don't I even know what you aen did you check or you just believe oh CU cuz he's up there so you just believ that what he said was right we have people who get in pull pits and don't even open up the word of God it's just motivational speakers you know what I'm saying so it's like we have to see that that plays effect in our relationships your relationship with God is your most important relationship yep that vertical cor relation it's so important and so if we're approaching that selfishly then we're going to approach other relationships selfishly period it we're always looking for what we can get out of it well if it ain't serving me that's the you're right if it ain't serving me that's the language I you know I'm done with things that don't serve me what that is so imagine if Christ said that could you imagine I ain't doing uhuh not if it ain't serving me I Ain get on that cross could you imagine and that's how we that's how we talk now if it ain't serving me if it ain't serving the Bible says that he didn't come he didn't come to to he came to serve like he Christ came to serve yeah he didn't come to be sered but he came to serve and so when we say that we are Christ followers and we say that when when we're taking on the identity of Christ then we have to be servants even in relationships that don't serve us sometimes like you like sometimes that's the reality in marriage sometimes it ain't always 50/50 there might be a season where your your spouse can only provide 20% yep so what you going to say all right I'm done it's no longer serving me this ain't serving me what what do your children serve you I wish we don't give up our relationship with our children our relation we don't stop we don't stop loving them and providing for them exactly and being there for them when they're hurt and when they're sick you know what I'm saying so I think that I think that if we are not you know we got to be mindful to the stuff that we're digesting every day and if you just digesting all this all this talking that is about what you can get out of your relationship with the Lord what you can get from him what he will do for you and not just for who he is not just for how you can serve him then I don't know how we expect our relationships to be in any other status than what they are now wow absolutely amazing Megan sorry I know I'm probably exhaust no you a exhaust me you got me you got me full this this what happen when you get full get sleepy listen so you had so listen so what projects you have coming up I'm I'm telling everybody make sure you go subscribe to her uh her podcast in totality uh what else you got going on I don't have any projects outside of patreon like doing the docu series my Vlog tell people to uh people need to go ahead and join her patreon patreon we have a club have a book club we have a book club that we go through a book every quarter and we do live zooms every Thursday where we talk about the book um I am going to start a kind of second tier to my patreon where it's going to be more about Bible studies and disciple ships and um some you know doing some stuff like that I don't know when but yeah that's it just the podcast subscribe so what link uh what link should I put in the description that has all things Megan Ashley so oh so my website is www.the Megan ashley.com and all and everything is on there YouTube all things I'm going put a link there go ahead go follow her go subscribe to the podcast go join her community um great content uh I've checked it out I love the visuals that you display I love as you taking people intimately into your space or whatnot and just showing them the world of Megan Ashley when I told people that I was going to have you on the podcast a lot of people like I just love her a they just love her and um and um and but one thing you didn't do that disappointed that they'll be disappointed is that you didn't start crying cuz they said you cry you start cry you cry a lot so I feel like you feel like you robbed me uh because you should start crying so cry right now cry start crying and tears but so when you say you cry a lot so you believe you cry a lot too mhm I I used to like I used to be like a closet crier and I would cry mainly because I was like in pain and I was sad but now I cry all the time like cry more happy tears than anything like I really be like the drawer the Lord really be overtaking me I really I really just be like wow Lord like you are really good and it brings me to tears sometimes when you think about it like how good he's been so yeah I cry a lot I'm always crying well that's good that you're emotional that you're and a lot of people don't know is that there'll be Seasons where like even with me when on my podcast I'll be like I'll have these moments where I'll get tear eyed or whatnot they be like you you you're an emotional man or whatever and I said it was you you better now the other side I was running around shooting that people when I was growing up you better be happy I'm sharing some Tears like like I've opened my heart and when you the more you become a worshipper the more that you become very vulnerable and present and intimate and be able to share intimate conversations with somebody and be and hear the heart of people and so the reason why I'm able to flow the way I flow well I'm talking to a homeless person and my my son and I we we out doing something with the homeless or whatnot is because I have a deep compassion for Humanity and so I can't sit back and just not feel what they're going through you know that I just get emotional um and I don't apologize for that that's good we need more we that's that's you leading by example cuz we need more men that are afraid of being vulnerable in that way so I think that's beautiful 100% And I teach my sons the same way as like my sons go through something and they be trying to be tough or whatever I say man cry like let that out don't hold it yeah cuz you see too many men dying from heart attack or whatnot uh because they they've been holding in years and years of trauma and they just too tough to just shed a tear you know and then they self-medicate in all the improper ways instead of saying get your good old cry yeah get a nice little cleansing get up dust your your knees off and say hey I'm going to grind and I'm going to go back at it again but it's so many men that have turned their hearts off to love because a lot of them haven't been honest that they gave their love to the wrong person who mismanaged it and now they like these hes ain't loyal you know what I'm saying uh like the Usher song or whatever and it's like you start ideating with that mentality and now you're not trusting nobody you're not trust anybody with your heart or the video that went viral where they ask Shaq you know can you that really broke my heart man I didn't even watch the whole thing but I saw a little bit of it and I was just like man he said you can never trust a woman with your secrets wow and it's a it's so many men and if you read those comments majority of men said you can't they'll use it against you and so and so and what I would say for that is for women cuz I know a lot of times women will be like defensive and be like they just hurt or D I think that that's an opportunity to pray and say Lord prepare me and help me Steward a man's heart when when I if I am able to have a man's heart and you bring that person into my life help me be able to Steward his heart well help me help me in my responses so that I'm not hurting his heart and causing him to have to turn cold or you know what I'm saying like I just think that it's an area to be aware and pray not to criticize and condemn I think that we just need to be aware and pray see you see y'all hear this wife talking that's that's wife talk right there that's wife talk right there I think it's just no I a being a believer of no cuz there a whole lot of believers they girl don't don't get me started there's a whole lot of believing women that don't know how to be wives yeah I think I think it's just an arog like when we see a common theme in that like if you see a bunch of men in comments they're not lying yep yeah like they're not lying cuz I know I have a mouth I have a mouth and so I know I could say something that will cut you know what I'm saying and so that's why you have to really ask God for the right heart because you cuz out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speak so sometimes we be saying stuff like I was just mad no that's what you believed that that came out of your mouth that means you believe that somewhere that's evidence of something in your heart so you just have to pray so Bas you saying your your husband could have been one the men in the comments that said I agree on this I'm I'mma Be honest with you I'm very intentional about my words so I don't I know that I know I have hurt him but I don't think I've hurt him with my words like I don't think I have said something like I think the only the only bad thing the name calling that I've said to him I called him a coward and that was like at towards the end of our marriage and that was like really heated but like I don't think I've ever called him the worst thing you said was C you call Ba no or like using like something so vulnerable against them I just think that that I don't like when nobody does that and I've had that happen to me and I hate when people do that like you share something vulnerable with somebody was talking about yeah and then they use it I mean but but it's not just with men and women it's with women and women of course it's with friendships like girls you friends with somebody and then the second y'all fall out then you going and telling all of her business to somebody else that ain't right and women men do it with like men do it too I think it's a Humanity thing yeah you know what I'm saying I just think that we got to be mindful oh boy listen I can talk to Megan Ashley all day cuz she's just a wealth of knowledge uh and I love the growth that you have displayed um because like I said don't know what you used to be amen but but but what presents itself in front of me right now is the woman that walks in countability vulnerability healing and intentionality on knowing how to use your words to edify and not destroy so make sure that y'all go to the link in the description and um follow her on all social media sites and join her patreon as well as subscribe subscribe to her YouTube channel uh listen get this I'm I'm almost cuz you're almost there what you at right now like almost close to 80 yeah yeah so we going to go and help her get to that 100K 100K by this episode going to drop into March so yeah we going we going to get up to 100K so listen make sure y'all go ahead and support make it do what it do that'll be an amazing testimony in just less than a year for her to be able to hit 100K subscribers so let's make it happen lit fam hey y'all give it up for my homie Megan Ashley y'all than you thanks for having me man you been Jim dropper thank you thank you stay tuned to the end for a letter to my future wifey writing these love letters to you larian thrust it suddenly into Child Protective Services in 2015 my nephew black a boy the likelihood of been adopted outside of kinship slim to none armanii 16 years old black a boy with 5 years in the fucer care system before I even knew his name the likelihood of ever been adopted yep you guessed it slim to none while laran and Armani were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded foster care system I was living my own life doing well professionally having been a single father with a daughter who at that point was doing well in college it was my time to live my life right wrong I felt unsettled tireless agitated there are just too many of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo of the foster care system in 2017 I legally adopted my nephew laran fast forward to 2019 I had no tie to this other young king but I felt God instructed me to adopt him also and I obeyed starting over with parenting should have been enough right working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless Young black kings in the foster care system should have decreased my agitation right joining the board of directors of Advantage adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in foster care should have led to some type of resolve right no not at all none of it felt like I had done enough I now realize that every one of those experiences was Ling the fundamental foundation for my life's Mission Kingdom Royale Kingdom Royale will be a luxury state-of-the-art home for foster boys our first location will be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex we will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity empowers them to advocate for themselves and enlightens them regarding New Perspectives and Limitless options that they thought were impossible though the young kings will attend the local public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom Royale our atome curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the Arts attending various cultural events learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and even relevant historical context introducing them to gardening and Landscaping and even caring for our animals on our farm and on-site Stables we just launched our startup Capital campaign with the goal of raising $2.8 million now why $2.8 million well in 2017 I created a web series in which I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless Community one of the most notable successes was that one of the videos went viral garnering 28 million views however one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community so throughout the years with much remorse I reflected on not maximizing that moment I knew if at that time just 10% of the viewers donated $1 we would have raised at least two $2.8 million that could have really established long-term support for the homeless Community or at least started a long-term initiative to do so this is my doover this is our new beginning together we can attack this at the root by specifically helping our homeless black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American F care system I'm lat teras R withfield I've been nominated for three regional emies documenting my work with the homeless as well as my personal adoption Journey despite those accolades the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life visit Kingdom royale.com for more details Crown a king and make a donation today man that episode was amazing I absolutely loved it well here's my favorite part of the podcast where I speak to my future wifey dear future wifey as I sit down to pin this letter to you my heart brims with anticipation and gratitude for the woman you are and the journey we will embark on together in the depths of my soul I know that our Union will be anchored in a shared commitment to living for Christ first and foremost I want you to know that my love for you will be an extension of my love for our savior just as Christ loves the church I promise to cherish honor and respect you in all circumstances together we will strive to emulate the love of Christ in our marriage putting each other's needs above our own and selflessly serving one another in moments of joy and in times of trial we will turn to God for guidance and strength knowing that his grace is more than sufficient to carry us through any storm our home will be a sanctuary of love and grace where for forgiveness flows freely and where the Light of Christ shines brightly in every corner we will prioritize prayer scripture and fellowship nurturing our spiritual growth individually and as a couple your future hubby I hope you enjoyed this episode of the dear future wifey podcast remember be lit live intentionally and transparently and don't stop loving make sure to subscribe to our dear future wifey YouTube channel we're available on Apple podcast Google podcast Spotify and Stitcher we welcome your support simply share our podcast with your friends and family

Channel: Dear Future Wifey

Views: 247,997

Keywords: Dear Future Wifey Podcast E813, Love For God, MEGAN ASHLEY Podcast, MEGAN ASHLEY, Overcoming Challenges, Personal Growth, Resilience, Dear Future Wifey, Motivational Video, Inner Peace, Life Lessons, Positive Mindset, Perseverance, Hope, Success Story, Finding Strength, Megan Ashley, Faith journey, Resilience after divorce, Podcasting, Personal growth, Inspirational stories, Empowerment, MEGAN ASHLEY Almost Lost It All but Didn't Lose Her Love For God | Dear Future Wifey Ep813, pod

Id: 0-tuHc2koe8

Length: 90min 2sec (5402 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 27 2024