Maturity in INFJs - Growth and Development

i watched a video the other day where the person making the video was taking umbrage to the fact that certain people were calling out other individuals as immature unhealthy and underdeveloped and his problem with this was that he perceived by extension the people who were saying these things were arrogant that they were saying they had arrived that they were enlightened to believe they were more mature than the people they were speaking to and he made the point that anyone has the capability to backslide or be childish and it doesn't matter how mature you are it doesn't matter at all and he found these statements very insulting now the reason i even listened to this video was because it was directed at the infj type and the whole reason i'm even here on this platform is to speak to my type the infj and to share my experiences with the hope that i can help others my goal here is for our type to become more self-aware basically my goal here is to help others achieve maturity in life so when i see videos like this i do stop and listen i have a few things to say about what i heard not because i wish to attack someone but because i desire truth so first of all i think we need to speak about maturity in my experience maturity is all about self-awareness so you could say there is a divide between what could be called immature and mature infjs and that divide has to do with self-awareness now this can be said for any type and for any person i believe self-awareness is what helps you become more mature so to be more mature in life is to learn from your experiences it's to understand that not everyone is like you it's to respect the viewpoints of others it's to be able to listen to someone else's viewpoint and to be able to adapt or change yourself if need be based upon what you're hearing it's developing discernment so you can filter through what you take in and see what fits and what doesn't fit maturity is learned you have to discipline yourself in order to become a mature person maturity does not happen overnight true maturity is achieved through balance and maturity has nothing to do with age i have seen many people as i'm sure you have who are much older whom i would not consider mature at all they have never learned these things about maturity they have never been able to take an honest look at themselves in the mirror and change themselves in ways that they need to and i've seen younger people who are very mature who are actually very self-aware for their age so age has nothing to do with maturity maturity has everything to do with self-awareness i believe there are definite marks of a mature person versus an immature person yes a mature person can backslide or act childish but immature behavior on a mature person is the exception and not the rule just as mature behavior on an immature person is the exception and not the rule all you have to do is spend the day with a bunch of 15 year olds and you will see exactly what i'm talking about they can act so mature at times but mostly they are not and i would expect that just as i would expect a mature person to act immature at times but mostly they are not so i have a question why is claiming oneself as mature automatically a claim that you are better than someone else i don't see it that way at all there is no competition here someone who says they are mature is just saying they are further down the road than the person they are comparing themselves to you could be taking a walk in the woods two people and the person who is further ahead can say i'm further ahead and that's not an egotistical claim that's just a statement of fact i think these kind of statements rub people the wrong way because they automatically assume one is saying they are better or arrogant and yes that could be the case that they are coming from a place of arrogance but we always have to be careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water so when you have experienced certain things in life and you've put in the work to see yourself honestly and then you move forward in that direction i believe you have earned the right to call yourself mature not perfect but mature and this is where i think sometimes we get the two words mixed up someone who is mature or who is calling themselves mature is not saying they're perfect and they shouldn't be saying that because we know no one is perfect so not perfect but mature means recognizing there is always someone more mature than i am in other words someone further ahead down the road so no i haven't arrived yet but there are most definitely levels in our arrival so we're all on this path but we're all at different places along the path and i think it's perfectly logical to say that because it's true so how does one become mature since i speak to infjs in this place i believe one of the best ways to develop self-awareness is to start recognizing hypocrisies and others now hear me out when i say this i think naturally we spot hypocrisy and inconsistencies in other people our biggest problem is that we do not spot it in ourselves and this is why i believe it's extremely important to spot hypocrisy in others because that's how we are able to see it in ourselves this is something i wholeheartedly agree with that this video creator has said that we are supposed to be calling out hypocrisies and others from a place of integrity but how can you call out someone from a place of integrity if you have to first call out someone to become self-aware so it's a contradiction when you tell infjs that in order to become who they are meant to be they're supposed to call others out so they can spot their own hypocrisies and then turn around and berate the infjs for when they call others out as being immature unhealthy and underdeveloped in order to gain confidence in order to become more self-aware we have to start making judgments about what we are seeing now i'm not saying you should go around and start calling people out publicly you do it in your head anyway let's be honest we do this anyway we are very critical even though only those closest to us actually see that part of us it's something we try to hide from people but we can't hide it in our close relationships can we we are extremely critical of other people and what we see out there but i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing because it shows us who we are calling out other people's hypocrisy shows us who we are honestly some of the very best lessons i ever learned in life was when i criticized people for what they were doing now i didn't do it publicly i didn't go after them and call them out but i was observing them and in my head i was saying oh they're such a hypocrite look at what they're doing and i was listing all their sins so to speak all the things they were doing wrong and i did that only to stare at myself in the mirror and realize that i was the one who was doing those things that it was me who was actually the hypocrite and it hit hard let me tell you but i never forgot it it taught me a lesson it helped me become more self-aware so yes you need to start calling people out or you need to start being more critical of others so you can help yourself and see your own hypocrisy now there are two ways to look at this maybe you actually have to say it out loud maybe the person you're speaking to actually needs to hear it maybe they need to be guided in that way maybe you are further along the path it's exactly what i do here i call out things all the time here because i do perceive i am further along the path so i think it's okay to do that and even here when i do it i'm still discovering not so very nice things about myself as i call things out but then there's another reason for calling people out for analyzing the behavior of others and that is to see your own hypocrisy by calling it out in someone else just as i referenced here a few minutes ago but this is the beauty of it because when we see our own hypocrisy it teaches us humility which then gives us the desire to extend grace to others in their moments of shortcomings which then adds to our maturity even more because then we aren't prideful in our condemnations because that's how we start out in our immaturity we are prideful in our condemnations of others but when we start to see our own hypocrisies we become more humble and then we can understand we can develop the empathy we need to understand why people have their shortcomings because we can certainly see our own and that causes us to be even more mature because we can understand then we can truly help from a place of understanding this leads me to another thought this is what happens when peers teach peers all the disclaimers that people who make these typology videos always say i'm not perfect i don't have it all together i don't want anyone to think that even the person who made this video i watched actually said he was as broken and immature and unhealthy as anyone else there that he had his problems and hang ups like everyone else why does he have to say this does he have more knowledge about typology than those he speaks to in his videos if so he should have more confidence in that knowledge and stop making such disclaimers in some cases i think certain people make these disclaimers because they're hesitant to call themselves mature when for the most part they are the same age as their viewers and it's why i have said countless times here that it's a shame there aren't more mature voices in this place it's like the blind leading the blind in some ways it's like children trying to parent other children or children trying to teach other children or people trying to teach other people when they're on the exact same level and that's not how it's supposed to work think about the teaching field you wouldn't have someone from the class step up and become the teacher there has to be a sharp distinction between the teacher and the student technically the person standing in front of the room should have a lot more experience and knowledge than the people they're standing in front of and it becomes a problem when the teacher and student are on the same level or on the same playing field so i'm here in this place clearly seeing the existing problems through my mature eyes and i have no problem saying that or calling it out because i am confident in my maturity i am very confident in this place to say that i am a mature self-aware developed infj i have no problem saying that here i am confident in it and that's exactly what i'm trying to teach here to you i want all of you to reach this stage where you can get further down the path and that's all i'm trying to do i'm trying to guide you to take more steps down the path to take more steps towards your maturity i'm not saying i have arrived what is true arrival anyway i find it so interesting when we are constantly being compared to jesus i keep hearing that jesus was the ultimate infj and that's some kind of pressure right there because if you see jesus as the son of god and i think people who make these statements do see him as the son of god so by extension he was perfect and then people say well infjs need to have integrity and then they compare us to jesus well no wonder that can be very discouraging right because if that's the case if true arrival is perfection well then good luck getting there do we have to wait to be perfect have perfect integrity before we start calling people out no because we're never going to get there i am never going to get there in this lifetime i will never be able to say i'm perfect but i don't wait until that time before i start addressing things i see its problems that's silly if you're further down the path of course you can look down the path and you can speak to things you see down there because you've already been through that you've already walked that path you've already had those experiences does a parent wait to become a perfect parent before they begin parenting does a teacher wait until they become a perfect teacher before they begin teaching or do you learn as you go that's what wisdom is recognizing you are further ahead not waiting until you have it all together and being able to guide those who are coming behind you because you love them and want them to get to the same place you are you want them to mature and develop as a person maturity is a wonderful thing to aim for in life we should all be developing and striving to become mature individuals so infj if i could say anything to you today don't be afraid to spot hypocrisies and inconsistencies don't be afraid to be judgmental in a sense i'm not saying to start going out there and start slicing and dicing people that's not what i'm saying but in your mind when you call someone out it will help you to see your own hypocrisy and that's the way you grow that's the way you grow and i've said it before here so many times but you have to look at others to see who you are you have to see the hypocrisy the inconsistency in others to see it in yourself to know who you are that is your process and i'm here to tell you that i understand because it was my process and it continues to be my process trust your process i speak to you here in this place as someone who has been there and i understand i want you to become mature i want you to grow up into these beautiful beings of integrity who can spot problems in the world and who cares enough to want to do something about it i want that for you so i will keep speaking to you here as a mature infj in the hopes that i can guide you so that you will be able to say that you are a confident and mature and developed human being

Channel: Your Never Sleeping Beauty

Views: 2,753

Rating: 4.90099 out of 5

Keywords: maturity in infjs, immature infj, mature infj, infj growth, infj development, infj mbti, infj, healthy infj, unhealthy infj, developed infj, confident infj, self aware infj, infj maturity, infj self awareness, infj confidence, infj and Jesus, infj hypocrisy, infj purpose, infj direction, infj critical thinking, infj logic, your never sleeping beauty

Id: gH73JN6pPhM

Length: 15min 26sec (926 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2020