Matthew McConaughey & Emmanuel Acho Trade Wisdom & Talk Infinite Possibilities | ILLOGICAL

please join me in welcoming emmanuel to the stage man what's up y'all um first and foremost thank you for taking time out on this sunday a nearly packed house i know you all could be doing so much um before i get to my co-host for this afternoon i just wanted to share it with y'all the story of how i met my co-host mr matthew mcconaughey any mcconaughey fans in here it's what i thought that's what i thought so um many of y'all may know me either from texas but from uncomfortable conversations with a black man after my um [Applause] so after the first episode of uncomfortable conversations with the black man i shot it in austin texas it was an all-white studio space i um had my wedding videographer there and my best friend she stood in as my producer it was not a high quality production but somehow we made it look like a high quality production so within five days it had received 25 million views on social media mind blowing i never thought that it would happen so then five days later my phone's vibrating i'm sitting in my apartment eating a bowl of cheerios healthy eating of all the cheerios and my phone vibrates i look at it it's a no caller id number i pick it up hello ocho mcconaughey speaking i want to have a conversation i was like wait a second mcconaughey like matthew mcconaughey he's like yeah man i want to have a conversation i was like okay um let's do it in let's do it in four days now for the record i did not want to do a second episode after 25 million views you can't follow that up so i was going to be one and done mcconaughey calls he says i want to have a conversation i say cool let's do it in four days it was going to buy me some time mcconaughey says this let's do it tomorrow excuse me you you want to do it tomorrow i was like okay i can make that work bigger problem i shoot uncomfortable conversations in an all-white studio space the room was painted blue it takes 24 hours to paint and 24 hours to dry but what am i gonna tell matthew mcconaughey i'm not telling him nothing so mcconaughey shows up the room sky blue we have a white sheet of paper we cheat the camera so it appears that we are in an all-white room lo and behold i produce 10 episodes of uncomfortable conversations by the grace of god partner with oprah end up winning an emmy end up having a number one new york times bestselling book and the rest is history i say all of that to say pick up no caller id calls now matthew mcconaughey many of you all know him is an academy award-winning actor and that is true you may also know him as a number one new york times best-selling author that is also true you might know him as a minister of culture that is also true but tonight he's just a friend of emanuela cho and a friend of yours ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage the one and only matthew mcconaughey [Applause] let's travel huh i like that how we doing everybody so let's travel i like that introduction wherever i go man that would be great that'd be great thank you it's good to see you good to see you yeah brother here we are again you know i was sitting when you're talking about that uh when i called you and and and then let's do it tomorrow none of that from my end or your end seemed logical yeah at the time it was not but it was it was a hunch and it was it was a trust that we both had what you had already done what i felt and that picking up the picking up that uh that phone might not have been the logical thing to do you saying yes let's go might not have been logical but here we are um a couple things i want to just unpack before we get into talking about his new book uh illogical so last night at the commencement speech yes sir to the university of texas at austin it's 60 000. young men and women out there what sort of message were you hoping to instill in these people as they head out to go greet the consequences freedoms responsibilities of adulthood and make their mark in this world what was your so true story um whenever i have big communication decisions i do call one of two people either call my friend oprah i call my dear friend matthew mcconaughey well look they called me from no caller id numbers so now they got to pick up my phone that's right so i called mcconaughey two months ago when i find out i'm gonna be this commencement speecher and i say hey bro uh give me advice what you got he said speak in the week speaking the week he said that you know when you speak it you know you tell it and then i'll piggyback speak in the wii three tenses we have right i which is personal to each one of us a great verse we gotta use because you can tell your eye story and no one can condemn you for it because hey it's how you felt it's your experience then you have you now what you ought to do what you ought to do we all know the youth speakers we can learn some things from you but it really starts to feel like advice that we're being told what to do and sometimes i know when i get spoken to in the u i'm like quit telling me what to do it's one thing i know i don't want to like is being told what to do but when you can find uh some truths in life that are in the royal we yeah when we speak for humanity i'm speaking for myself i'm speaking view hey the the the human process we're all in it just seems to be digestible to the listener and the giver and it lets people know that if they're going through a tough time or they need a tip moving on that it's us saying hey it's part of the human experience me too i meant it with you so the royal we when we can do it seems to be a great way to communicate so he says speak in the we so in texas we say what starts here changes the world but the problem they never told us how to change the world and so i gave the three tips that you should follow if you want to change the world tip number one delight in the detour in life you're gonna go through several different detours you're gonna have a dream ambition a vision for what you think your life will look like however you're gonna have to detour at some point in time i was drafted in the six rounds of the cleveland browns before ever playing the snap for the cleveland browns i blew out my knee i get traded to the philadelphia eagles i get released oh one eagle's face shut out shout out to the one there's always one i get it did you come all the way from philadelphia you did straight all the way from philadelphia here we go so i get relief by the eagles and i realize i'm gonna have to detour but the beauty of a detour is a detour prepares you for your destiny while your destiny is being prepared for you so my first point was the light and the detour my second point was be illogical if you want to change the world you're going to have to be illogical being illogical is really just veering away from conventional wisdom so many times in life we are afraid of other people's fears and so if you want to change the world you're going to have to be illogical you're going to have to go places that have never been traveled to you're going to have to do things that have never been done you're going to have to think of things that have rarely ever been thought of if you want to change the world you have to be illogical and my final point if you want to change the world you have to use your thing oprah called me july 9th 2020 and she simply said this you have the thing my friend you have the thing and coming from someone who had the thing and has the thing you my friend you have the thing she was essentially telling me that i have a particular gift to communicate to people but having the thing is irrelevant unless you use your thing and so my encouragement to everyone here now and everyone last night was delight in the detour be illogical and use your thing use your thing yes sir deep you know i just want to piggyback on that last thing you're saying what is our thing what is everyone's it is it always and only the thing we love not necessarily sometimes it is is it what we have a talent for what's that innate ability you know what i mean because when we match when we're talking to young people it's like can you match what you have an innate ability for that also in the world might be something you can supply that the world demands so you can make a living right and may it match those things but uh it's a mix if it can be what we love we can do what we love and still make a living at it awesome but sometimes we have to say wait i mean i love doing it but i have a talent for it and being good at something we do learn to love it you know what i had to learn brother i had to learn this um that your career is what you're paid for and your calling is what you're made for sometimes in life they intertwine they do not always right to your beautiful point of you might get paid doing it you might not my career was in the national football league my calling was being a man for this moment they happened to contradict each other until they could eventually run parallel so i had to learn that point that you just made on the fly heard yeah it's nice when they come together in it but they don't guarantee it ain't logical when they do hey speaking of of your man for the moment um again before we get more into the book uh you also wrote best sellers uncomfortable conversations with the black man and and uncomfortable conversations with the black boy uncomfortable conversations was youtube series that wanted emmy before it was a book how'd you come to that topic in the series and how has if it has has the conversation changed now two and a half years later man so uncomfortable conversations with a black man i'm gonna tell on myself that was not the original title original title was terrible i'm glad you didn't hear the original title you wouldn't have sat down with me come on what was it the original title ladies and gentlemen it was questions white people have [Laughter] this is a true story it was questions white people have why matthew mcconaughey because white people have questions yes they do um so the original title bro it was questions white people have and um because they're finally here the the impetus for uncomfortable conversation started at my dear friend's house i was with four people i was with brogan russell they are married brandon and ashley they are married i believe brogan and russell are here if you are here stand somewhere um beautiful so oh and there's ashley lovely so these are like my best friends in college and i was at their house after the murder of george floyd and i was makani i was just in turmoil i was in turmoil bro because i was like something has to be done so i go to dinner um at my lovely friend's house and we're sitting there just having conversations been friends with them for a decade and change now and we were sitting there trying to figure out how can we reconcile the racial divide in our country but before you can reconcile the racial divide in the country you have to reconcile the racial divide in your neighborhood in your household in your community so i'm breaking bread with my dear white brothers and sisters and i realized you know what as near and dear as they are to my heart and i am to their heart there are questions that white people have and so that was going to be the title my friend called me my friend called me and said hey acho it's more than just white people that have questions you should consider changing the title she says you should change it to uncomfortable conversations i was like it doesn't stick did nothing for me nothing i get back from a bike ride in austin texas mcconaughey i go into my house i walk by my bathroom mirror and i stop i look right i'm a black man i'm a black man uncomfortable conversations with a black man um that's how it goes the royal we yes um great title change yeah um hey piggyback now here we are that's how many years ago three yeah two years june 1st 2020 was episode okay how or has the conversation evolved since you know what if we can be honest and this is what i love about this intimate setting um the conversation has evolved and then it has devolved like we've made progress but it's as if we take two steps forward one step back brother remember it was just last week if i'm not mistaken the shooting in the buffalo supermarket buffalo new york or racially tar shooting um 10 people lost their lives uh a white 18 year old goes into uh predominantly black areas predominantly black supermarket and and just kind of knocked the place the conversation has evolved it truly has but we see small bits and pieces of the conversation devolving and so i think we have to all be conscious of continuing to make progress because the second that we collectively take our foots off of the gas as a society as a people as a nation then we will start to revert back to the negative places in which we came heard yep two for one sometimes at least moves us one yeah you know two such four one two one step back which we do seem to do quite often it's half the incrementation that we hope for but we keep taking one out of those two let's keep let's keep the ascension going all right illogical all right you say here um and i believe it's chapter one before the cards are flipped don't let logic limit your life all right what do you mean by illogical and and and and yeah let me leave it at that give me define what you mean what it means to be illogical to be illogical to be a logical matthew mcconaughey is to believe it is so even when it isn't so so that it can be so that's what it means to be a lobster [Applause] actually i'm gonna get to that i actually i actually think that's coming on a yellow light instead of slowing down stepping on the gas and getting it and turning the yellow light in the green light go ahead that's what it means to be illogical i think the greatest accomplishments in our life y'all they come on the other side of our logic i'll share this story quickly i shared it last night one of my favorite stories in all of history may 5th 1952 no one had ever ran a mile in under four minutes mcconaughey scientists thought it was physically impossible ladies and gentlemen they said that your heart would literally explode explode many suggested if you tried to run that fast it was illogical but on may 6 1952 1952 one man roger bannister he believed that it was so even though it wasn't so so that it could become so and on may 6 1952 for the first time in our history someone ran the mile in under four minutes that's not the most beautiful part of the story the most beautiful part of the story is that within the next two years ten people ran a mile in under four minutes so when you are illogical you end up going places that have never been gone when you are illogical you end up doing things that have never been done and when you are illogical you end up breaking barriers that have never been broken so that's the beauty of being alive so are you saying that logic is oftentimes a limitation that logic equals doubt that doubt is a logical summation that to say oh that's the status quo that's how it is no one will ever run for four minute mile that's how it is to believe in the status quo to to to say that's what it is that that sort of logic is a limitation yes because it's easy my coach um back at texas my defensive coordinator you'll remember him will must change yep fiery dude will chant and i'll remove the explicitives because this is sunday in a family audience but will mustamp you said acho don't be like water water takes the easiest route hey what he meant is if you were to pour water on the ground it will just take the path of least resistance and what we do so often in life is take the path of least resistance see we we live in the small town that our parents lived in and our grandparents lived in and we never leave because that's what's logical though we have a passion to start our new job or to become that entrepreneur we just stay at our nine to five even though we don't love it because that's logical we're in the relationship for six years and though we know we probably shouldn't get married we end up marrying the person because that is logical so i believe that we should try to veer away from logic because logic limits heard you know my uh uh a word that i use um is my and i've actually been reading about it lately someone else is repeating that i like to talk about this word but my least favorite word unbelievable this is in part and parcel in the same song that you're singing here um unbelievable is a limitation of a belief whether it's something awesome in our life or something tragic i believe that we all need to have the courage to admit these things and believe in them whether it's the greatest beauty or the greatest tragic it happened and then it is it's part and parcel in what you're talking about there's something um there's a logic to the illogic yeah is what i'm saying um so speaking of logic and logic you've gone from the nfl well first off university of texas thank you to the nfl to be an emmy-winning host to web series to best-selling published author to a bachelor host to a sports analyst what's the logic in your illogical career path that's a good question did you come up with these yourself these questions sounds good i called oprah on my caller no colorado everybody's a comedian today i see oh man the logic to my illogical path yeah i think the only logic there is that i am going to continue to lean into the uncomfortable okay in my nfl career i had a decision to make after my fourth year in the national football league i had been hurt three times i had torn my groin i had broke my thumb and i had torn my quad now i was 25 years old so why not keep playing i hadn't even hit my physical prime but what i said was there has to be more to my life than this so i leaned into the illogical path and i said i'm going to move on the oldest text message in my phone is from august of 2016. mcconaughey i got a text it was like 10 o'clock at night it was from the buffalo bills hey acho please send us your date of birth and your social security we want to book you a flight to buffalo had a decision to make i was out of the national football league but do i want to go back in i didn't respond i got a text 30 minutes later acho so and so from the buffalo bills i need your name your date of birth you're social i want to book you a flight to buffalo for a tryout i made the illogical decision that day to just say no to be done leaning continually into the uncomfortable is the only consistency that's the logical thing right heard heard um i want to talk about something that i've written about that's also um leans into what you're talking about here i talked about the yellow light someone brought up green light a minute ago so green lights go yes keep going no resistance they're like water right green lights they do not impede our way red lights on the opposite end we don't like those it's full stop crisis death whatever the yellow light though is where really seems to be the art of living is that's where the choice lies the place where we have to pause think for a second where the illogical choice offers itself and you can either what it a yellow you can either slow down to go to a red light and stop or you can put that pedal to the metal and blow through it now both of these can be just as illogical at times there's times where i've slowed down to the red light where that was the illogical choice the logical choice was to blow through it and there's times where i've blown through the yellow light where that was the illogical choice but both of these can be illogical you and i both deliberately created pathways to the future that we're living now to where we're heading what are some more of these illogical choices you made to get to where you want to go like that one there buffalo bill's call no thank you not going illogical what are some other choices you've made i think the most illogical yet career defining decision i made was um starting uncomfortable conversations and how i did it true story i was um i was thinking about doing uncomfortable conversations but everybody knew me at the time as a sports analyst they want to hear my takes about sports they don't want to hear my takes about life right but every now and then you have a conviction so heavy on your heart that you can't shake it yep so i said i'm going to do uncomfortable conversations but here's what it's going to look like i don't know what it's going to look like right so i um i rent a studio space in austin uh my dear friend carrie i believe i'm looking at her stan carey shout out to carrie um she um she owned the studio space now i'm gonna take a quick aside and brag on her then get back to the back to it after i rent the studio space it's an all-white place in austin i just called my my my uh i called my friend moe and said yo find me a studio she said okay it's done i called my friend brit i said brit you got a videographer she said yeah he shoots weddings i said a wedding videographer will work um so i use a wedding videographer the beautiful part of why i asked carrie to stand when she overheard me rehearsing uncomfortable conversations she said hey you can use my studio for free whenever you need to for this like i stand behind this message so quick aside for those that want to know what allyship looks like that's what allyship looks like um because truth be told i just took my money out of my pocket to start uncomfortable conversations it cost me time it cost me energy it cost me effort and more than anything it cost me vulnerability yep and so it was illogical to think that a wedding videographer an olympic medalist and myself could sit in a room and have a conversation that would garner the attention of matthew mcconaughey that was illogical yeah thank you for taking that one um you know i want to i want to go back and i thought this hit me last night um i i consider myself a very deliberate person like i like to write the headline you know set the goal then write my story to the headline and when i went to go write my book i thought that 95 of my successes things that i got achieved and got access to in my life that made me happy and gave me satisfaction i thought that 95 were gonna be they were goal sets and then i go back through my writings of 45 years and i looked at a little over 50 percent i was jumping off and figuring out how to fly on the way down the way down they were not the headline they were not engineered they were not clear and it's it's it's you know yeah i chased some wet dreams to africa and peru no logic and that that's literally what i did you know and i did not know where i was going i just set a compass down but i was it reminds me of your book because i was reminded last night that that as much as i've know i've thought through my life that i've chased absolute logic set a goal that no actually a lot of more i figured it out and took the hunch ran that red ran that yellow light or slowed down when it was easy to go through it um you also say in your book don't fail you fall talk about the difference of falling and failing to you i had failed so many times in my life um i was in eighth grade at a private school in dallas texas and i had to get a 72 on the final exam to not flunk out of that school somehow i got a 73 and i'm still here i was in the nfl i comparatively failed in the nfl uh my older brother played nine years in the national football league beast i mean just killed it killed it killed it i'm just sitting there trying to stay afloat just like trying to stay in the national football league as long as possible i failed so to speak in the nfl as it pertains to having a hall of fame caliber career but then i finally realized i didn't fail i fell and as long as i get up i win so this is something that i mean everybody can use because so much of it is that was your choice to perceive that way logic says oh didn't make the hall of fame didn't do as well as your brother you failed world says but you chose to go no i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna look at this a different way so it was just a mental yes change and that's one of the things that i think we all can get from this is so much of you know so much of failing or falling is that we give we give when we do fall too much credit we we give it it's like those dramas in our life that don't need to be dramas but they're become dramas because we give them so much credit it's i know when i when they talk about my book there's certain we get a red light some of us like to stay there yeah oh man it turned green i don't want to go yet let's pile it on uh-uh you know what i mean so it's a perception choice you know what it is and this is what i've realized and many of you may have heard it before the problem with so many of us collectively what we continually do is make this pivotal mistake we put periods where commas that's our problem like we put a period somewhere but that's not the end of the sentence nor is that the end of our story so we put a period somewhere thinking this is where it stops when a comma belongs there like if i would have put a period at the end of my nfl career then nothing greater happened right but the nfl career was simply a comma and i got a run-on sentence coming amen yeah i've i'm with you we do it you know that's why i put no g on the on on the end of jk living because life's a verb it's a process here's my thing though matthew i think you you do a lot of things uh colloquially i mean you say heard hurt hurt hurts um that you say all right three times if one isn't enough so it fits the meter it fits the musical mater my man i want to get into this unpack this because you talk about it illogic chooses resistance he said uh um you know the difference in falling and failing is that you chose to get up and say no it's life goes on it's that's a comma the story goes on whether it's the end of the sentence or the end of the chapter or the end of not the end of the book i guess that we have multiple chapters and paragraphs but not the end of the book is this book an argument for faith that's good it is um truth be told when you talk about being illogical i always i say it's believing it is so even when it isn't so so that it can be so but truth be told in my heart of hearts i believe it's believing it is so even when it isn't so so that it can be so because god said so okay right um truth be told i think that we all have a divine supernatural calling on our life a divine supernatural conviction in our heart a divine supernatural ability that we all have and that we've all been blessed with so when you want to talk about being illogical there are so many modern day stories but there are also so many whether it's biblical stories or historical stories um colloquially we always in sports use the story david and goliath we always use that story but you want to talk about a logical that's a logical yeah that this this boy this hebrew boy as the text has it could slay a giant that is illogical um but the beauty of of being illogical and as i talk about that story in my book is it's when you have your thing mcconaughey it's what you develop in private leads to your praise in public and i so desperately hope everybody hears that because in this day and age everybody wants to get famous quick get rich quick become a star quickly but it's your development in private that leads to your praise in public both in the story of david verse goliath and my story and your story i started here in austin fox 7 austin was where i started after i left the national football league local news just mastering trying to master my craft on local news and in what you could consider private as it pertains to the national world but it was my development in private that led to uncomfortable conversations that would ultimately be seen very publicly so there's a huge faith component and the logical has faith littered all throughout because my life has faith scattered all three trust is hard yeah trust is hard you know we talked about and it starts from the uncomfortable conversation to the choosing illogically it starts with uh when you walk past that mirror and looked over and said oh i'm black man you know that was the first that that trust how do we how do we let's talk about how do you trust in the illogical choice because we don't want to be foolish right we're not saying i don't think you're not saying hey go be foolish you're not saying be anti either correct you're not saying go against the grain because it's against the grain i mean we've got that everyone's got that in them but we're saying don't go with the the the status quo how do you trust that when it is the path when it is the robert frost path it is the is the path least known it is not the autobond it is not the masses and only you know only you know 2 a.m when you're by yourself what's in there tickling inside this hole how do you wake up in the masses and go oh i'm back the lights are on again i'm a sheep i gotta go with the flow how do you know go into that and trust no i'm gonna walk my own path among the masses i'm gonna i'm gonna choose door number two yeah and everyone else is going door number one trust there's a nuance there um that i describe and i believe it's chapter 14 of the book when i say after talking about all the great accomplishments of heroes and all your future great accomplishments i i kind of couched the book by saying if all you've heard is that you can do anything you've heard too much being illogical does not mean you can do anything i could not run a mile in under four minutes regardless of how hard i trained because i am not predispositioned to do so um but being illogical is what do you have that innate ability to do and trusting in your own innate ability you have an incredible innate ability on stage as an actor you have an innate incredible innate ability um i have ability to use my words on the fly i do not prepare for any conversation at all i just go up there and freestyle and i trust it i don't encourage other people to do that but um but in the same manner i don't have the ability to go do so many things so what you do is you trust your god-given gifts and you trust that you have a god-given gift because everyone does so all the trusting illogical is is you have a choice to make makane every day when we wake up we have a choice to make are we going to choose faith or are we going to choose fear but regardless we have to make a choice you might as well choose faith i'm with you on that might as well even if it doesn't work out this time still let's juice again and again again it doesn't work out you can work it out right that i think is the beauty of everything yep you know we think about you were talking to young men and women last night that innate ability there's a lot of people out there that are going wow what's my innate ability what are you what do you what are you what are you talking about if i only knew my innate ability it's a good question it's something to that's tough to find sometimes something that's tough to trust in um oh boy yeah if we can find it and then bet on it educate ourselves on it understand how to use it wisely maybe even scale it that does seem to be the honey hole about how to go forward if we can um all right i want to talk to you about something i think it was chapter three don't forget your earmuffs don't forget your earmuffs kick out your own internal negative thoughts when they arise these ones of doubt we were talking about kick out your own internal negative thoughts you know it did he's talking about i was talking with the big tech council the other day and the metaphor which which i thought was nice on this is that we have to before tech we have to have a firewall for these viruses because these internal thoughts are viruses how do we keep those out because we know it i had a guy i was going through it yesterday and it's a st it's a steam train one leads to another leads to another leads to another and all of a sudden i'm like immobilized going what the hell did i do i just did that to myself in five minutes i mean you got to talk about that talk and talk about i got a feeling you got to get into some football here about how you have to say when you start kicking it out as they start man i think the hardest thing one of the hardest things we have to battle in life is our self one of my prayers every day is uh god keep me from me because sometimes i'm my own biggest enemy uh the the self-doubt it is our biggest opponent yeah because while we all have this belief that we can do something there's a small voice in your head that says but what if you fail but what if you fail but what if you embarrass yourself that small whisper that becomes a roar uh and i think what we have to do is feed the the belief feed uh the the the the conviction feed what we know to be true and oftentimes so many people even those you love the most are going to doubt you um i'll tell this story when i wanted to do uncomfortable conversations with a black man a dear colleague of mine said hey acho i don't like this idea i was a dear black friend of mine she said this she said white people did not educate us on how to assimilate into their culture why should we educate white people on how to assimilate into ours and i sat with that message for a second but i said i just have to go the way god leads because i had a conviction in my heart so why do i say that i say that because that was my calling but the beauty of your calling because it's not a conference call no it's not no it's not nobody see seed on the message at all no and so sometimes if you know it to be true you just got to block out your noise and don't forget your earmuffs heard and oh don't feel good when you pull it off on the other side you know um i want to say that on the on on the failure and the embarrassment you know so many times it's those that fear of those people that are they're gonna go you know thumbs down then and a booboo you felt those people were up in the stands for a reason everybody on the field i know when i fall the great players on the field are right there going whoo happened to me too here get up let's stay in the game you know um i like this one the first drop of rain it's a chapter in your book don't let everyone on your boat how you choose and who you choose to let on your boat in success only 24 hours in a day [Music] but it's only so big i like this dude y'all i like this my it's my brother from another my brother from another um you can't let everybody on your boat man um when when you finally do succeed and you overcome the doubt all of a sudden you're gonna get a lot more popular yep people gonna find your phone number i don't know if it's the yellow pages the white pages the black pages the blue pages somebody's page is gonna have your phone now yes and um you're going to get a lot more popular but the the thing you have to remember is you can't let everybody on your boat because if you do it might sink yeah so after the success when it comes because it will come now keep in mind i like to believe in significance over success significance to me is making an impact on other people's lives when we talk about success so many people hear about it monetarily that's cool but significance to me means more when it does in fact come you can't let everybody on your boat the quickest side of the first drop of rain what's interesting about the first drop of rain is that means the flood is coming let me praise my brother real quick because i don't have often have time to do so um there's a story hollywood movie biblical story about the about noah and noah was building an ark though the earth had never seen rain and scientists and theologians submit the earth had never seen rain so how in the world are you going to build an art but after building the ark i can only imagine mcconaughey when noah looks up into the sky and he gets hit in the middle of his brow it's the first drop of rain what's that tell him that the flood is coming the flood for me was that call from matthew mcconaughey because when i started uncomfortable conversations i had no idea what was going to happen but when mcconaughey called that's when i was like uh oh the flood is coming because what happened next that's when oprah calls and then chip and joanna gaines calls and then the commissioner of the nfl calls and little wayne calls the flood was coming it started though with the first drop of rain all right on thank you for sharing that um one of the most provocative chapters in your book is called the goals are dumb let's let's deconstruct this a minute um again i i think it's fair i know i'm a deliberate person i know you you have deliberation and intention with your choices even with the logic to the illogic uh we hustle we're ambitious we strive what do you mean you say goals are dumb let's go here shall we yeah um i believe that the easiest way to fail in life is to set a goal it was 2011 i was here on this campus my brother had just went to the national football league he was one year older than me i too wanted to go to the national football league i wanted to leave after my junior year we were on the heels of a national championship in 2009 i came i saw i accomplished it was all good i wanted to go the nfl told me hey emmanuel you won't be drafted in the first three rounds but you mean i'm not gonna be drafted in the first three round you know who i am anyway i i took that sheet of paper that said you won't be drafted in the first three rounds and true story i hung it above my bed because what do they say about goals commit them to memory so i looked at it every morning i woke up and every night before i went to sleep i'm gonna be drafted in the first three rounds well at the nfl combine after my senior year and i tried to do everything right i'm running the 40 yard dash mcconaughey i'm running i'm running i'm running and i hear boom boom boom i thought my heels were clicking my quad was being torn off the bone i'm running through it i'm running through it i grasp it my quad and i fall to the ground i don't get drafted in the first three rounds even though i set a goal i was devastated i realized at that point in time within my life a goal at best it puts a ceiling on your life sure you achieve something but what if you could have achieved more a goal at worst it ruins your self-esteem and it ruined your self-efficacy a goal by definition is the end towards which energy is aimed why would i start something with the end in mind so instead of setting goals i believe in having an objective with no limitations an objective is energy aimed at a direction so now i just live life moving in a direction see a goal is finite but i want to live a life of infinite possibilities so now i commit to believing goals are doubt yep [Applause] but quickly um and i know we are going to open it up for for audience questions that have been pre-pulled quickly i remember um i think the best look you've ever had you're an all-white tux my friend it's your best you have good looks not gonna lie you do i like the hat i like the glasses but you're in an all-white tux truly truly i try to study those that come before me study those that i think are brilliant and when you won your academy award you said something that ran parallel to my belief that goals are done you said something that runs parallel to my desire to have an objective with no limitations to essentially have no end point matthew mcconaughey said one of the most brilliant things i'd ever heard in regards to his hero if you do recall can you please share what you said said uh need something to chase in life and what i'm chasing is my hero and that's me in 10 years i'm never going to catch him yesterday he was 10 years ahead of me today he's still 10 years he's he's not nine years 363 days ahead of me now he's still 10 years ahead of me so it's it's uh it's it's an objective to chase it's a potential it's a belief a faith a uh in an ability and an and a in a man i want to be a person i want to be um that i know i will never catch it's sort of my pastor talks about difference with joy and happiness a lot of times happiness is a finite thing as a period at the end of it if i can achieve this then i will be happy and you achieve that and you get there and you think you're at the top and you look around and then oh my gosh i just uncovered a whole thousand more mountains that were taller than this one joy is the process of the doing what we're innately have the ability to do um it's it's something that keeps life being a verb for me um it's it's it's and it also look we got one one one-way ticket and a lot now we can argue too faith in religion that that's that this is not even a one-way ticket but the only finite one-way ticket we have here is death everything else is at least round-trip you take detours you circle back you pull your quad don't go in the first three and make up your mind to do something else even though that was devastating at the time um your book isn't finished you didn't shut it started a new chapter uh chasing yet i think we're all chasing yet and that's what i mean by me being my hero in 10 years and i'll never i'll never catch him and oh i'm so happy i'll never catch him my yeah um well we got some questions that we've pre-pulled from the audience um kathleen will ask them and we will answer question number one what's the biggest mistake you you've made that you'd never undo what's the biggest mistake you've made that you would never undo you want it do you want me to take you go ahead let me think about this y'all see how he does me well it's a it's a tricky question it is because when you don't want to undo it you start to go was it really a mistake ah that's where i go with it the biggest mistake i've made that i would never undo i feel like i made a lot of mistakes um the biggest mistake i've made that i would never undo interestingly enough i'll go back to uncomfortable conversations truth be told if someone were to tell me how big a deal it would have become i would not have hired a wedding videographer right right it makes no sense like hire a high quality video team but about five episodes into uncomfortable conversations with a black man i started to ask myself how is this product so digestible like how is my videographer telling the story so eloquently and one of my friends said well they're wedding videographers so they're used to telling long stories very succinctly i said i didn't even mean to do that right so truth be told that would probably be the biggest mistake okay that i would by no means undo i heard my mind i'm gonna give you a hardship that i that was a living hell that i would not give back for nothing it was a year in all year in australia after i graduated from high school and i went over there um stories in the book i don't know if you've read it but it was a pretty insane year for me uh where i really really split my differential and lost my grease but made it out but i had given a handshake deal was saying i would stay the whole year and the details of the story by all logic would mean pull the parachute with khan and come on back home you got every reason no one's blaming you for none of this but i stuck with it and um i lost myself and i was forced to find myself because i lost myself and that was the hardest year of my life but the one i would not undo because i would not be sitting here right now with the life that that i'm living if i didn't have that year no way i love it i love it [Applause] this next question is for emmanuel do more white folks or people of color stop you to ask about these books do more white folks look at all of that white folks wait wait [Laughter] [Applause] conversation um do more white people or black people stop me to ask about uncomfortable conversations it's twofold um i will say that it's both a stoppage of gratitude gratitude for two very different reasons uh my white brothers and sisters that stopped me for uncomfortable conversations it's a gratitude of illumination hey thank you for opening my eyes to something that i hadn't previously seen or previously understood my black brothers and sisters that stopped me for uncomfortable conversation that's thank you for saying what i didn't know how to say so it's a gratitude but for two polar opposite reasons my favorite text from a black friend of mine after i i started uncomfortable he just simply said bro this is what i've been feeling but i had no idea how to say it my favorite text from a dear white woman who i still have not had the privilege of meeting after i started uncomfortable conversations a sweet white woman named lynn she emailed me and uh she said uh uh dear son um thank you for uncomfortable conversations with the black man my name is lynn and i live in alabama i didn't grow up er she said i grew up in the 1940s and 50s and i didn't go to school with any negroes however i still understand i have room to improve please don't give up on me i love you my son and my brother and um i i close my eyes when i tell that story because i have to re-read the email yeah yeah as i'm telling it and that was probably the most heartfelt message i'd ever received so it's it's being stopped but it's gratitude but for two very different reasons yeah man next question if we could copy your homework and apply one tactic or tip to our life what would it be my brother copy your heart y'all see you're not gonna get me twice wait what's one tip you can copy my homework well if it's multiple choice i was the guy i always put e all of the above [Applause] i always put i would put e i circled e on on every all 100 questions on quite a few tests i thought they were all possible so so i i didn't do good in those classes i did better in the essay classes where i could write it out um i'm going to go there's a cur there's a theme here and and and and i'm going to go back to the now it's think of these things are like victories and successes satisfactions and failures embarrassments and and and losses again think of them as commas come on keep rolling keep go get up another day and know that that person next to you that person you're running into as much as we like to say ah you fail you lost again people that are doing that we're in there they're in the stands for a reason everybody you need to play with is over there going like oh yeah i'm not undefeated either yeah because i chose resistance the right kind of resistance and it's not really a risk you're taking unless you can lose the fight so choose the risk that you can lose the lose lose the fight and um yeah and and and and the failing is falling it's not really failing yeah it's good man um if you could copy my homework i would suggest you don't um i was not the smartest acho in the family um but if you could copy one tip of life advice that's a good one i think it would truly be follow your heart until it leads you to that destiny i think that's what it would be and i think it would be lean into the chaos lean into the chaos life is chaotic the life that we live in chaotic our society is chaotic at times we go through death we go through hardship but sometimes you just have to stand in it and you just have to stand in it and lean into that chaos because in that chaos is when the beauty within you is unearthed within that chaos is when the resilience within you is unearthed within that chaos is when the strength and fortitude within you is unearthed so you don't truly know who you are at your core until you face chaos and once you endure the chaos of life that is when you will continue to refine yourself until you are that most beautiful version of yourself and so if you would copy something from me i would simply say lean into the chaos because that chaos will turn into a beautiful picture of yourself okay last question and i think we all look forward to this answer what do you have in mind for the next ocho mcconaughey collaboration hey hey hey hey man what do we have in mind we're you on the road for a while i'm in l.a bro when you're going to visit i know i'm not in la anymore i'm out here [Applause] [Laughter] oh i don't you know i personally i don't i don't know but um we've got a kindred spirit and we we both have a have a similar aperture for our approach and how we look at the present the future um so i'm quite confident our paths are gonna cross with a mutual uh um endeavor somewhere again whether it be like this or next project i have or i call invite you in or you call me from a call no caller id you know or uh the next thing you do but um we'll continue and we have there's a parallel path so that i believe we're running and where those intersect are sure enjoyable for me yeah yeah i would say um you know there is no clear answer but i know this much to be true you do life with people you love you do life with people you respect you do life with people you believe in um i've never called this man and he not picked up and to my knowledge he's never called me and i not picked up and the beauty of to my knowledge the beauty of our friendship the beauty of our relationship is that we so so genuinely believe in one another that mcconaughey would call me um back in 2020 just to talk and i'd be like bro aren't you like on set shooting like a movie or something but he would call me just just to rap and just be like hey i want to pick your brain on some things i called him out the blue and i was like hey i want to host an event i want to talk about your book i want to talk about my book want to talk about life he said when and where i said let's do it may 22nd and he was like count me in like that was it there wasn't any big illustrious process hey can i pay you to be no it was just like i called my man he's he's chosen to believe in me believe in us and um when the moment's right you make it happen and good people collectively can do great things i'll say it like this and then mcconaughey where you want to take this conversation next if you want to go fast you go alone but if you want to go far you go together and my brother and i we choose to go far over going fast heard so that's a great outro right there but let's let's let's riff back and forth and summon some things here uh that about illogical about your book about your approach that we've spoken about but if we're going to get bullet points here we're talking about um logic as a limitation uh we're talking about uh uh uh don't let logic limit your life doubt is logical uh status quos are are logical uh um talk about courage we're talking about uh what else are you talking about faith having faith in it trust belief um illogic chooses resistance life is a verb significance over success objective aims instead of goals um uncertainty falls instead of fails all uncomfortable conversations even and especially with who's in the mirror detour commas next what i learned where am i going is it clear no it's not but i know the direction ladies and gentlemen thank you all so much [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Emmanuel Acho

Views: 93,607

Keywords: matthew mcconaughey, emmanuel acho, ut austin, uncomfortable conversations, racism, blm, black lives matter, illogical, oprah, alright alright alright, manifesting, Uncomfortable conversations with a black man, UT commencement, University of Texas, mcconaughey

Id: 6RKWOgFS8Jc

Length: 59min 28sec (3568 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 03 2022