Mastering the art of everyday diplomacy | Alisher Faizullaev | TEDxMustaqillikSquare

[Music] can I please ask you a question would you please raise your hand if you feel yourself or consider yourself as a diplomat in your ordinary in your everyday life would you please raise your hand oh great so many diplomats wonderful one more question would you please raise your hand if you know someone some individuals who could be recognized as diplomat in daily life anybody wonderful even more that's great so let's discuss everyday diplomacy I spent myself part of my life in international diplomacy some years ago I served as ambassador of my country to several other countries and a number of international organizations so I have a first-hand experience in international diplomacy but today I would like to discuss not international diplomacy but everyday diplomacy diplomacy which takes place in our everyday ordinary life of course when we say diplomacy we mean first of all international diplomacy state can establish diplomatic relations and use diplomacy for preventing or resolving conflicts for defending and promoting the interest but we could also apply the concept of diplomacy to our everyday life and of course there are many differences between international diplomacy and everyday diplomacy international diplomacy is about diplomacy between nations and everyday diplomacy is about diplomacy among individuals and small groups such as families and peer groups but at the same time there are a lot of commonalities between international diplomacy and everyday diplomacy I knew many very outstanding diplomats dignitaries politicians who were not just very good in international diplomacy but very effective in everyday diplomacy in everyday communication they were very polite very nice and that quality very much helped in performing international diplomacy let me tell you a little story how I met President Clinton in fact I met him twice first time I was introduced to him during a big diplomatic reception when I was introduced you see this picture to him he offered me a very warm greeting he said well how are you mr. Faisal life ambassador Faiza life how's things in Uzbekistan to be honest I was a little surprised I didn't expect such a great warm greeting and we spent a few seconds greeting each other talking to each other and after some time a friend of mine said well do you know him did you know him I said no I didn't know and in few years I met him once again it was another big diplomatic gathering I was standing in a corridor and suddenly President Clinton appeared somewhere next to me and he made a couple of steps and greeted me with handshake I was very much surprised and of course very much pleased and I also made a few steps and we greeted each other with handshake and I thought well that's a kind of I don't believe that he and he remembers me there were so many diplomas so many ambassador's head of states and many other very very prominent people it's just impossible to remember someone after few years and some time ago I told this story to a person who worked for President Clinton several years and he said to me well you know he has a incredible memory he remembers everybody who meet even few years ago I don't know to be honest is that true or not but such a quality it's a great quality to be both diplomat at everyday level and at international level to be a good everyday diplomat and good international diplomat so we live in a social world and social world is a world of difference where so many differences around different people different groups and we may have many many differences in our interests our positions our attitudes our beliefs our behavior and many many differences and it is very important to cope with these differences to live with peace peacefully with these differences and we may have a lot of discussions debates disagreements confrontation and conflict that's a part of our life of social life but it is again so important to with all the differences different opinions different colors different religions different people and to cope with this differences we need to have three very important things number one a mindset it's a spirit of everyday diplomacy number two it's a strategy a way of interacting with others and certain skills which help us to be a diplomat to implement the strategy in our everyday life let's start from mindset this mind that is peace of mind our inner peace it's a spirit of peace peacefulness that's very important that our inner foundation of every day diplomacy that gives us some stability it's very important and our peace of mind is based on our ability to be tolerant to have patience and to recognize differences there are many differences that's alright to have so many differences not just to recognize but appreciate these differences when we have these tolerance patience and recognition of differences that provides us some basis to be to have peace of mind every day strategy this strategy is a strategy of balance we may have a lot of our own interests of course and values and rights that's great to have all this and defend them but it's also important to recognize and to see that others also have interests values and rights it's very important to have some balance between these worries act of extreme and balance but diplomacy is constructing a balance a balanced relation our inner balance which provides us some integrity and balance with others and there is a very nice symbol of balance which is symbol of Taiji which is ancient Chinese Tao is symbol of inian yang in comprises some young and young comprises I mean these are opposites but they also complement each other they need each other they balance each other that's very important for them to exist and to fulfill and the strategy of balance the balance strategy has three pillars one is rooting which is rooting in some values in some principles in peacefulness of our mind in love we need to have some rooting to be stable to have balanced relationship with others resilience which is so important in our turbulent world when we have so many challenges so many changes and moderate Ness which is very very important to have balanced relationship with others and with ourselves we need some skills to implement this strategy in our life there are two very important set of skills number one is social interaction skills interaction with others number two self-regulation skills this is interaction skills let's start from social interaction skills there are few very important things which helps us to have these social interaction skills first understanding it's just impossible to deal to cope with others diplomatically to be a diplomat and and stand and cook with others without understanding tactfulness which is very important characteristic of diplomacy is very important and negotiation is very important all these things are very important and the standing is based in on our mindfulness our ability to see to feel to be hearing now to pay attention to details we need to be receptive to differences not to reject but the rotary sector to be receptive and listening listening is active both emotional and cognitive process tactfulness is one of very key characteristics of being diplomat diplomacy it's based on our sensitivity to sense even some Tiny's things body language meaning some details civility which shows us as a part of civil civilization we need to be part of civilization and respect which preserve which preserves the dignity of others when we respect others we may expect some respect from others this is also very important and negotiation of course negotiation is very very crucial it's a central for any diplomacy both international diplomacy and everyday diplomacy everyday diplomat is a man of negotiation he or she negotiates with neighbors with relatives with bosses with subordinates with everyone negotiation is not just a skill it's a value it's a social good because it provides us opportunity to agree to get some agreement to have some balanced relationship it's alright to have discussions I may have some my own opinion you may have your own opinion let's discuss that's a way of negotiation it's important to find something common common ground that's a way of negotiation and coming to an agreement which is a way of negotiation and a way of diplomacy as far as our self-regulation skill the central here is our ability to be calm that's very important even in discussion in these disagreements in tough situation with difficult people but it's not just our idea we need to have some skills to regulate ourselves for example to relax our muscles to breathe naturally to be non-resistance when we resist to some differences we increase our tension we become more unbalanced and culture is very important because in every culture has its own codes cultural codes some traditions some norms for example in our culture in Uzbekistan we have so-called or dope more Mala Mala cut here we expect it's expected that we shall respect the elderly people if you are in public transit transportation it's expected that you offer your seat to the elderly people and something which is very diplomatic in one culture could be not so diplomatic in other culture so it's important to feel to use it to understand cultural codes and inner strength is very important because diplomacy practicing diplomacy is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength you need to in the strength which provides you honesty which ability to be honest when you lie you lose your your credibility so you need to practice truthfulness with in the strength and we stacked there are so many opportunities to practice every day diplomacy in restaurant in social gathering in nature in class among friends these are wonderful opportunities to develop ourselves to develop our peace of mind we have a very special gift which is smile that's a very important that brings us a lot of good feeling peace and everyday diplomat practice smile allow me to offer you a small exercise or practice of everyday diplomacy please turn to your neighbor from left side or from left right side can you find a partner from left side or right side please look at your partner carefully attentively with mine mindfulness and see some difference since the beauty of his or her differences and say something nice to this person and appreciates this difference this person is different difference from everything the rest of the world and say thank you that's a way of practicing of every day diplomacy and finally please raise their hand who feel yourself as an everyday diplomat many more thank you very much [Applause] you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 166,346

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Uzbekistan, Social Science, Creativity, Psychology, Public Policy, Science

Id: 8eI6qa-DyT0

Length: 16min 55sec (1015 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 11 2017