Masquerade (1999) | Simbi Khali Kellita Smith

[Music] everyone wants to make life complicated but the truth is there are very few surprises you live learn you love if you're lucky and then your seemingly perfect train crashes usually it's a slow collide but sometimes everything in your life hits the fan at once making you wonder if your measly five dollar offering on sunday didn't go unnoticed schwa i i know it's not right they gave the job to an intern someone you trained but please don't quit why not exactly so here i was out of a job hoping to come home and find solace with my man the prince charming your mom promised would sweep you off your feet and make everything all right mothers should be required to give daughters the real 4-1-1 and how the fairy tale can end jeremy jeremy joy i i can explain now look at my face i'm shocked i'm thinking how the hell did i get here truth is i dated a model a man who if left in the incubator one more minute was gonna be a woman baby i didn't mean to hurt you you know all this time i was waiting for you to get on one knee for me and here you are playing jailhouse buddy with him schwa wait my keys damn so there was my life in one fatal swoop my huxtable dreams came crashing down look you've been in l.a for three weeks you've got to snap out of it and do something with your hair girl please you're a way to lena who want to be sitting up all prozac out in a fabulous town like this it's over gone he ain't checking you gusson martini vodka twist lemon otis i'm just putting the facts in her face it's over o-v-a-h what if i never meet someone oh please men are like the mercedes e-class they're all over the place it's the millennium you have to have as few pieces of baggage as possible unless it's louis vuitton crying over some dude it's so tired it is so 1988 when jeff jones dissed you on the bus stop and you missed the prince concert because you're at home crying your eyes out thanks he did not diss me i dumped him okay okay miss repressed memory whatever what you need to do is stop playing joi blues and turn on some donna summer and just say enough is enough now let's talk about something more fabulous like how i may be taking a sabbatical from teaching to tour europe this summer you think your james bond oh girl please i write so much better than him okay i've left you the la times you've got to get a job oh and before i forget a lot of my friends have been getting jobs off of this black professional website you might want to try and get on you might get some leads okay how am i girls look are they straight if i didn't think it would take you an hour to get dressed i'd bring you sweet pea you need a drink you're gonna be okay okay bye [Music] no mail [Music] jobs black collectibles black art black chat room don't be stupid oh why not be stupid [Music] romance sick of that women on women not yet white guys who like black women guess who's not coming to dinner housewives who cheat my sister's probably on there chat with black professionals this one ought to be interesting oh that's stupid you sound desperate send it who cares you don't know these people why the hell am i in the chat room it's because you're lonely and you're bored and like half the women in america alone on a friday night [Music] so you're a virgin oh my god it's talking [Music] yes i mean no i mean this is my first time doing something like this what are you doing [Music] well i should be out but i'm sick of the social scene going to clubs house parties sifting through the mess trying to find the diamond i'd rather sit home and watch a movie listen to some jazz me too i love movies classics are my [Music] favorite what do you like to do tell me about yourself i'm a big brother i've been mentoring this kid for about four years now wow community service the last guy i met that did community service had a bracelet on his ankle what should i call you you don't have to give me your first name if you don't feel comfortable how about skye that's my middle name skye i like that what do you look like you give me something miles i look like crap miles tell me are you tall short neat dang outta jenny craig what's up i um well why not i'm five seven almond shaped eyes [Music] i like tall women cool he likes tall women let's go with that you'll never meet him i've got long brown hair gorgeous legs i mean they're nice come on jackie joyner what's up girl she went out we're ready for the world i think that brother wore me out yesterday you like him he's my meantime guy you know he's the guy i'm going to be kicking it with until i meet the guy i'm really going to be kicking it with her brother is busted why does it always have to be about the money with you because i did not go to warden business school to end up with some unemployed community college graduate you are crazy the brother only has a secured visa with a 200 limit and he's 34. girl i was afraid to order appetizers well what about the internet you ever met anybody there no well once but i prefer the real deal over cyber sex any day why no reason why okay what pedophile did you mean okay maybe he's not a pedophile okay give me details come back tell me i want details i'm your girl he is the bomb you've been talking for a while how long is a while a few days all this time i've been comforting you you've got another on the side oh sister girl wants some red money this guy is amazing he likes jazz charlie parker billy art blakey he goes to museums and guess what girl he reads no okay so when you go meet up no i'm not i'm in no mood to mess with some guy i mean look at me oh please that's nothing a little relaxer couldn't work out no i'm not feeling men right now oh why not come on this is a great excuse for you to get your hair done your nails put some clothes on i mean damn come on oh he'll love you well if it wasn't for the fact that my mother was queen of boogie black america it probably would have been easier begging her for a job [Music] oh my gosh you're here hi mom how are you great i'm great too oh i have to make you a hair appointment mother i want a nail appointment too oh god so how is the wonderful world of fashion not so good the city was getting on my nurse i told you new york is a vacuum speaking of vacuum i finally decided to do my thighs mother they're fine look i think i'm gonna stay in la for a while oh god what happened to um what was his name jeremy uh that's history good i never liked him i always thought he was gay i need a job no you need a husband like your sister claudine did she tell you she and gerald bought a beach house in the hamptons right near um puffy and lil kim who is lil kim i just need something to tide me over for a bit please well i thought you didn't want anything to do with my magazine it was fashion fashion mother i wouldn't be here unless i was desperate we need deep coverage on this lewis and split okay all right good what about the microsoft monopoly hearings good good call my boy down silicon valley he'll talk you must be join yeah you have my research and we need deep coverage on this every angle hit usa today has already put out a good story again we're arriving on cp time get on it you know i don't know if my mother told you i'm a writer i don't do research it's like asking me to get your coffee really well um i don't know if your mother told you but don yeah yeah hang on i'm your boss and you do do research oh banana by the way coffee [ __ ] is around the corner latte easy on vanilla what do you got for me dog mm-hmm oh nice nice can we follow up that so this was our introduction he's fine he's running the company and i hated him okay i'm like that's tomorrow thank you i hate him that's something temporary what about computer life guys he's the only thing that keeps me going oh come on come on remember your motto cut it's jesus not you i have gone from assistant fashion editor to researcher in one freaking month oh girlfriend stop complaining well i think i have a right to complain monica oh sorry girl gotta go okay bye [Music] sorry i haven't written lately this has been a rough time for me my dad died last year this time so did mine well actually a few years back cancer i know what you're going through you know my dad used to do that not can come in at the same time thing but then he could it was his house my bad we won come in was that better yeah hi claire said you did a good job with the research i tried yeah well we want you to do something on the economics of the black arts field you know how much things are selling for what artists are making etc etc you might think you'd be perfect for that assignment aye aye i need it by friday [Applause] yes when i got your note i was listening to miles davis come to blue that's i saw him what are you doing nothing i love miles davis i know this is crazy but i want to meet you [Music] are you okay he wants to meet me [Music] do it now when you meet him just be cool take him to the new restaurant i took you to harlem cafe it's chill good idea monica's gonna come with me just to make sure he's not psycho then she's gonna jet well see that she does cause you don't need to peanut gallery all up in the mix oh girl have you read the new ellison book juneteenth if i was a slave and didn't know we had been emancipated i would have been acting a fool you feel me yes yes i do who told me nobody ain't nobody tell me ain't nobody told you nothing you wish free all right now hey what's up how'd i do the article's good but i need you to make some changes oh i'll do it in the morning oh no no that's not gonna work see we go to press tomorrow i need you to fax them to my house tonight tonight yeah well you need help i mean uh i'll cancel my plans if you really need me to stay with you no it's okay i can do it you sure i got it okay um i'll be up until politically incorrect ebony hoax carry amber sense memories of you a soul that shadows my own in my ear i hear my life calling i hear my life calling with slow yearnings and hopeful joy through cool evening shades i follow you i follow you [Applause] what's up i had a problem i'm not going to be able to make it on time look my boss needs me to make some changes by what time does politically incorrect come on you know what relax your boy miles isn't even here maybe he checking out too yeah you're right i'm sorry i wasted your time it's okay don't work too hard and i'll see you back at the house all right bye-bye bye [Music] hi is this heat taken not anymore i sure hope this isn't jewish cyberman this brother's fine okay he's my favorite what do you know about barry sanders what he was and still is the baddest running back in the league uh-huh what team oh you insult me sorry detroit lions and he played for oklahoma state broke every ncaa rushing record and in 97 he ran for 2053 yards damn i was hoping he was gonna set the record but it was the last game of the season you know you're like bob costas with a nice set of uh teeth nice white teeth but you know with all this free agent stuff going on what i dig about the brother is he was loyal he played for the same team for 10 years that's a lot to say about anyone in this age of me me me me where do i sign up you know you're taller than five seven i have heels on right but i do like tall women oh you did hmm so do i fit that uh yes you do yeah i'm happy we mess me too oh um i brought you something now it's nothing big what you just travel around with gifts in your pocket oh billy holiday uh that's the one you wanted right actually i wanted the new jay-z cd but this is cool jc come on scott it's miles i know you don't like rap skye oh my god what am i doing this is jawaz man and he thinks i'm her damn it's i better go look miles i uh oh boy relax it's cool i know you don't kiss on the first date so what do you say unite and we exchange numbers uh yeah you're right email me all right have a good evening you too oh damn damn it damn it damn it hey hey look i met your man you what yep miles oh my god i smell a god is he a guy girl he's cool he's fine beautiful complexion nice build well you told him i was working late right he understood right not actually um what i know this is gonna sound crazy but for some weird reason he thought i was you and he was way too fine for me to tell him i wasn't i'm sorry oh no i don't know how you gonna handle this but this is on you i mean you have to write them tell them do something no it's okay i'll figure it out this is for you you got this for me yeah i'm gonna turn in good night good night [Music] i had a great time i can picture you a laptop iced tea in your hand and a bag of chips [Music] what are you wearing a t-shirt all right yeah [Music] excuse me sorry my bad look at you you're glowing did uh someone fall in love this weekend i don't know i think i fell in love with the possibility hmm [Music] so we're the ssa i don't get your acronym single straight and available where are they well um let's see oh there's one nine o'clock okay ben pratt doctor single lives in ladera went to harvard med i think i'm not sure oh what kind of doctor is he a cardiologist really god bless a gold digging soul hey sweetie hey nice to meet you too so what's up with computer love nothing we're still typing away i haven't told them i'm not monica yet but i will you better come clean before that blows up in your face oh here's one for you jeff braxton artsy musician went to berkeley very cool and quite the intellectual you know they're hard to come by these days oh god did you know him no no no the guy next to him marcus he's the editor of my mother's magazines oh the boss you love to hate [Music] the shoes are banging and you know what they say about a brother with nice shoes what they have neat bathrooms oh god he's coming over here how do i look oh this please hey join how you doing great this is otis it's his place oh uh hope you don't uh mind me crashing no anytime i know you look very familiar where'd you go to school more house than harvard b school i went to university of chicago but i did a year with gates at harvard getting my phd in comparative lit maybe we ran in the same crowd uh maybe okay ben's a cutie oh really scott a miles no no no this is my boss marcus marcus oh god what will someone fill me in since this is my party and since when are you scott that's a computer name why haven't you called me i uh oh my god y'all marcus that's my real name marcus okay hey hey man this is the woman i was telling you about you look great get out of here oh man i i hate to blow you a couple did you tell them how you guys hooked up do you mind uh well i uh i think that bomb just blew up in your face girl these two met in the chat room you know one of those uh chat rooms for lonely people huh so i guess in the new millennium you better get online and be in uh cyberspace huh if you want the hookup they say it happens when you're not looking right yeah that's what they say i think i see my cousin spooky host you look great cannot believe this is happening to me relax it's not kosovo out of all the guys that log onto the net every day how is it him life is a bunch of coincidences [Music] are they having fun [Music] i can't believe that marcus is the one that you were talking to online you like hate him right yeah well i guess he's better with the written unspoken word hey if you don't want me to go out with him i won't it's no big deal really [Music] hello oh hey um i know it's late but i just had to call you i'm sorry hang on it's your man is this cool yeah [Music] just don't tell them about these emails okay okay well this is like my history i have to study this all of a sudden i'm a pseudo-intellectual art loving billie holiday playing girl good night hello sorry to keep you waiting have you ever watched two people get together who you really didn't want to like it obsessed you corroding your brain daily hoping that either a natural disaster would break them apart or on the day of the wedding when the priest asked if anyone objects laugh hysterically the problem is whenever you wish for something bad to happen to someone it just gets better for them and for whatever comma induced reason worse for you this is what people don't understand all these internet companies have no true revenue yeah but we're making them worth a lot i mean time warner the biggest communication conglomerate in the world is worth 70 billion yahoo and aol new jacks are worth like 300 billion it's crazy i wouldn't sleep i've got clients making a killing off of internet stocks had you put two thousand dollars down on america online in 94 it would be worth two hundred thousand dollars today get out you better sell before it crashes well it's not crashing anytime soon perpetual growth is a myth um excuse me we should start an investment club oh no that's a good idea keep it small meet once a month everybody throwing 100 bucks i ain't trusting no negroes to handle my money because use a tied negro how are we ever gonna recycle the black dollar with that mess your people can't recycle beer cans not to mention dollars your people is it now oh watch out for my hair just get it done tony be quiet why because i don't think black should be raised to think they can achieve a lower standard and still get ahead that's not what affirmative action is brother do you have any mirrors in your house okay tony forgot how his butt got into princeton i did more than sign my name on my sats i'm about to whip somebody behind you want some champagne yes please join what do you know about slavery anyway your bourgeois behind grew up in pasadena with a pool of bands and consuelo the maid and you didn't see anything oh we must be out oh can't be i brought you two bottles anybody want some tony eat your ravioli while it's still warm [Music] hey hey hey a great dinner party i just came in to get the champagne this is the moment where i understood the title of the play for color girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enough dang it come on oh hey easy okay it's all in my hands thanks sure tell how's it going it's good oh oh by the way i thought your article on the black artist was great i should be honored seeing that i'm a fashion writer oh uh yeah i okay i owe you apology i've been on edge lately it's hard losing a parent monica told you no i mean yeah i mean i overheard it's a small apartment i got you i mean you guys are roommates so um if i buy you lunch you give me the 4-1-1 on your friend you know kind of an expose someone who's close to the story from what i saw the other night i'd say you're already in really um i don't know you know most women are a little bit more emotional than monica monica's not like most women so why'd you leave the edge i was there for five years and some rich kid from harvard who only had a summer internship got promoted over me ouch was that your dream it wasn't really my dream it was just a stepping stone to my dream which is i don't know i know it sounds crazy but i want to start a black health magazine you know like an equivalent of shape or self yeah no that sounds cool i think there's a market of course there's a market black people are fitness buffs high consumers of athletic apparel magazine buyers they do everything and every now and then people think that they don't okay you sold me you thought about approaching some black investors get some venture capital no i hadn't gotten that far you should do it get yourself a business plan i'll help you no that's okay come on come on it's the least i could do i mean your best friend might become my wife if she lives that long why don't we get out of here yeah [Music] i don't understand what he sees in her okay so she's a stock broker but she's only doing it to find a man with money men find her delightful do you really think i should have invited 50 people to the opening 50's cool okay but she's not very cultured monica's idea of literature is jet magazine right and she can bat an eye and show some titty like the beauty of the wig you really like him huh it's weird today i felt that energy you get when you connect with someone up there up where up there you know what i'm talking about otis you know what i'm talking about it's not fair i'm tired of having to hit her to stuff just to help her get with him come on eventually he's gonna find out that monica doesn't know the difference between richard wright and richard roundtree oh sure she does girl she got the cliff notes she called me because she didn't finish the ending she what joi what you don't get is this even if marcus finds out that monica's in some big harlem renaissance check it does not matter at the end of the day most brothers just want to get some so working hard to become a good person means nothing basically if you hadn't been on cp time you could have bought something sorry we were late you got to help me out with this i know nothing about this art style thanks monica hates white wine thanks you know joel i'm surprised you two haven't met uh michael was in new york for five years what'd you do i was at img sports management why'd you leave promotion in la three times to pay who does this run you up um it's a little jason lawrence jacob i mean jacob really i was thinking more john biggers hmm really biggers uses a little more color yeah and this has much more of a renaissance feel well i guess you're right i mean you're the art lover i'm just the wannabe collector hey what do you say we get some drinks at cafe harley yeah okay now the trick is don't inhale uh no thanks i'll try it yeah thanks summertime lilies oh right oh i love this song good memory you're artsy too oh no what's artsy you know artsy into jazz and fine literature drinking lattes and cappuccinos that's culture don't even entertain him as well no no see see real brothers we don't drink cappuccino in the lattes we drink yoohoos and alize you're a buggin you don't like jazz no i like jazzy jeff now that brother was cool back in the day i forgot to tell you all he wears a tracking device his fool is crazy and kenny g kenny g and a bottle of ostis pumante uh you lose me on the ice tea but i could get bits from kenny g oh no no no no kennedy is tired very i'm surprised you like him this all i listen to is called train [Music] see monica knows what's up coltrane is jazz thank you dizzy is jazz miles as jazz yes on what you are on this one yo this little fight is getting me kind of hot what do you say we get a room oh god where's the restroom hey the restroom is cool too you know hey uh wait up juarez back up office that you cut down what you doing negro w w dot backs www.back it off damn so michael oh please he's toxic but girl he can get you quartzite laker tickets i don't care the guy's ignorant you know what my mom says when you get married romance goes out to ben's door all you can do is hope that the brother has a little cash so you can go on shopping sprees you know i'd rather have a meaningful relationship than a platinum card you don't get it okay let's take marcus he's cute smart but if he didn't have a shot at maximizing his short and long range earning potential i'd kick him to the curb so here is where my life gets a little complicated my best friend is with the guy i want and now she tells me that money is the adhesive keeping her with him oh my god chris i haven't seen you since wharton oh chris jewelry this is chris hi i remember i met you at how was homecoming yeah so what are you doing in town a management consulting for about a week you look great so do you i'll meet you back at the day one bye chris okay so i don't see a ring well you didn't say yes well i couldn't say yes you were kicking it with some girl while i was studying for finals like i said about five years ago i'm sorry oh relax guy it's all about you tonight oh damn oh thank god i shaved look at you [Music] oh marcus this article reminded me of you real go-getter she used to be the editor of vanity fair and just started her own magazine i figured this might be an inspiration marcus okay now make sure you put your weight in your left foot how's it dua well she's a real talented writer she's fine oh nice to hear yeah she was always the lisa bernay of the family yeah and everybody else was roller skating she was when we would spend the summers at the vineyard and zach harbor she'd be tracking the himalayas the himalayas yeah okay wait loosen oh ooh yeah he grips a little tight i'm loosening see oh but hey [Laughter] you two would make a nice couple oh i'm seeing a friend really too bad make a good sound wall hey you got a pretty good idea here take about 300 000 to get this started thanks for helping me out all right i don't mind besides monica's working i had nothing else to do you know you remind me a lot of my father with this whole entrepreneurial thing what was he like he was passionate you know dedicated to his dream great father you know why don't you get your mother to invest she do it no i want her out of it it's bad enough she tries to run every other part of my life marry him wear your hair like this don't do that she's a crazy woman it's so controlling you know she wants us to hook up what i was playing golf with her today and all she talked about was how i'd make the perfect son-in-law i kept telling her i was falling for your friend she wouldn't hit it mother why did you do that huh mother huh why i'll get back to you i was just trying to help you i don't need your help yes you do you used to be confident energetic you took care of yourself mother i'm fine you're almost 30. if you don't get married soon you're going to end up just like jean's daughter making all that money alone god mother stop do you know that she is contemplating a sperm bank now you know you don't know what kind of stock you're going to end up with at a sperm bank she'll probably have a crack baby with no sense this is exactly why i moved to new york i am looking out for the best interest of you now you might not understand that now but you will my daughter is not gonna have a sperm bank crack baby hey hey i thought you were working late uh hey monica i gotta go i've got a meeting first thing in the morning okay okay call me we could do brand sending hmm oh i like that okay good seeing you joe joy [Music] damn is he fine or is he fine what was that oh that's my girl was a 10 why ever blew him off i don't know he has a high net worth an annual six figure income no kids was that smoking crack in grad school or what what about marcus and marcus please oh chris has a time share in jamaica which he says we can go to whenever we want girl we're gonna get our groove back you have a boyfriend monica so what what you gonna do tell him no you should i'm not gonna tell him jack and if you were my girl you would not be in my business like this your business if it weren't for me you wouldn't have marcus ah valessa well if you thought your eccentric artsy self was that jiggy you'd be laying up with computer love instead of me well it's easy to get a man when you wear a sign that says we'll lay down for gucci that's good at least i don't have to pretend to be another woman to get a man [Music] five seven long brown hair that's not what you think okay that's not what i think well let me tell you what i think i think ever since high school you've been second string to my game and you mad because you are still on the bench i'm out of here good it's about time get all your baggage and go yeah yeah then you know what another thing about marcus when i'm done with him you can have him [Applause] i will only be here until i can find a place no problem me casa asukasa you know if her mother and my mother weren't best friends we never would have hung out you'll make up you will not believe what she said to me she said when she's done with marcus i can have him i know she didn't girl what you need to do is change your train of thought pretend you're at the pentagon and tomorrow you are going to war i'm not telling him that i'm the one that sent the emails right you want to get laid not played i don't understand it's like she doesn't even like him she's just toying with him when will you see him again on tuesday oh well actually i have to go buy his place to get some purchasing information he told me to stop by his place no otis monica and i may be on the outs but technically that's still her man technically he was yours first no otis winston code blue please do something this is tired so tired just a girl needs a lift like naomi campbell at a chanel show in paris [Music] girl winston's going to take you to a whole nother level heads will be tardy otis i despair still had a boutique on melrose yes i'll call him so look you got going girl has played [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] chocolate [Music] okay you gotta hit him slow and sexy look fierce stand up straight if you sit cross your legs and you cannot stay for more than a half hour or you're going to look pressed when you leave the only thing he should be left with is the sin of your chanel number five you do have chanel yes this is crazy no baby this is life you want to be subtle but obvious let the brother know what you have to offer i know this is a little anti-feminist going to some man's house dressed to the nines hoping to get him but sometimes you want to make a man grovel for you wow hey hey um i feel underdressed no you look fine uh i have a date later so i thought i'd come here before i met him that's all god i said too much i sound obvious uh i got you come on in [Music] great place oh thanks it's uh bachelorhood is that your dad yeah it's him he wasn't a professional musician or anything he just liked to play for fun look at you nikki giovanni baldwin wright and playboy yeah uh yeah well i'm into the harlem renaissance and uh sexual revolution [Music] oh monica told me what happened she what yeah she said that you're going to be subletting onto this place while he goes to europe so you decide to move out early oh yeah yeah i figured move now why wait hey i don't blame you he's got a cool place oh i'm a bad host can i get you anything um beer iced tea coke mochaccino mochaccino nice to her hot hot thanks appreciate it okay god this man should be cloned for every woman in america not just me uh thanks for getting me the statistics no problem oh i got a friend who wants to meet with you next week i told him a little bit about your project and he's feeling he's got backing yeah his family owns a bank he's vp you know obm obn old black money oh yeah be a diva go in there and come at him slow and sexy cross your legs you want some whipped cream whipped cream strawberries moonlit beaches give it to me marcus whipped cream sure just a tad a little more [Music] okay that's that's really good thanks okay now you have to make sure you have statistics in all the other health magazines self shape heart and soil do we have to say what they did in each market yes yes say everything it's gonna be a way to find out what their black subscription list looks like especially heart and soul that's the only african-american health magazine right right sort of black girls buying these magazines how many stuff like that okay i'll check the net and i'm taking you straight on an 80s flashback snap you remember the song remember that oh no no no no no no it was the whop back then no that's some west coast mess what one you dance like a white girl i do not oh yeah what the hell is this you know i'm getting down get on up check this out remember this song b boys and b girls oh do not tell me you used to break dance oh yeah i was shopping dude get out oh please don't tell me you had a tail oh no no much worse [Music] all right well the bandanna come on come on let me show you something oh you can't touch me i can dance oh no you can't touch this what come on show me something ready [Laughter] we so stupid um when what time's your day um 8 30. it's 9 20. i'm late he's gonna be mad you want to call no well maybe i should age age-appropriate we love her i know hold on this is otis speaking be heard hey how's it going look sorry i'm late i got caught up at work see you in 15. if this is you you are tired lame and so playing yourself no see you in a sec [Laughter] yes i'm dressed you better get out of there before you trip over your stupidity yeah okay bye-bye winston was that joy mm-hmm crashed and burned child is everything cool yeah everything's fine so uh what have you got planned for this long weekend oh uh actually i was thinking about taking monica camping really yeah i mean she's been kind of stressed out at work lately so i wanted to do something to you know help her relax chill for a second you think she'd dig it monica couldn't camp at the hilton yeah i'm sure she'd love it good kid i thought so see i'm gonna surprise in the morning blindfolded and then take an appointment gu that sounds cool you guys are gonna have fun all right uh so have a good weekend yeah good night all right have a great date okay all right bye okay so i stay for a little too long i told you to go in there slow and sexy not pitch no damn tint i messed up didn't i what is wrong with you sisters today it's like your mother's just dropped you on your heads when you were babies and your common sense just i mean just tell me you at least stood up straight and crossed your legs yes i did oh there is some comedy out of this it better be funnier than chris rock i told him that he should take monica camping no i don't think you should have stayed at his apartment but i understand where are we where are we oh wherever we are there are a lot of mosquitoes all right surprise oh my god yeah i figured after our hike we'll go grill some fish you know how to clean fish right hike clean fish you are tripping baby monica you said you love camping what's up i did i did well now i don't what ma wait monica where are you going come on man you can't make me sad so how was your trip she hated it see i look concerned but i'm smiling inside really yeah i don't know i don't know what's up but the moment we got there she was huffing i mean it was like she forgot she told me she liked camping in the outdoors maybe she was in a bad mood whatever what about you you nervous no i'm okay ben's gonna be in a second um look i don't think i'm gonna be able to sit in you okay yeah i just got to get out of here my dad died a year ago today i need a break go okay look you will be fine ben is cool i pitched him the idea he dug it you sure you're gonna be okay yeah yeah worry about the meeting call me after all right good luck hi this is monica you know what to do oh hey monica it's it's marcus look i'm sorry about this weekend i've i guess we just weren't gelling i really need to see you tonight [Applause] [Music] [Music] oh god hey hey uh what are you doing here i just had to see you look i'm sorry about what happened this weekend look whatever i was a little stressed i know i know so was i so what do you say we just forget it ever happen okay okay besides i didn't come here to fight everything okay baby [Music] yeah i'll be there in a second [Music] damn it's like that huh don't trip no no hey i'm not tripping because nobody trip over [Music] this is my favorite part just say it don't turn this around i've had your back since the beginning oh damn guess who's coming down hey what's up um hey hey marcus did i catch you a bad time no i was just sitting here bored otis and i were watching a movie how you doing can i get someone uh soda orange juice cranberry it's the weekend shouldn't you be with your girl it's over [Music] we're over champagne [Laughter] yeah yeah see women always talk about man of the dogs just got some in them too when she straight diss me maybe it's not that bad you should call her for what yeah see he that's where the yang and yang are different i mean a woman walks in on a man cheating on she wants to talk about it to her friends to her family therapist it's not like that all the time mm-hmm soul food vanessa williams catches michael beach getting down what does she do walk away yup thank you and then at dinner pulled a butcher knife on him okay okay but a real brother on the flip side would have kicked his behind right there in the spot can i get some thank you is that what you did no but you know it was crazy i uh but uh but what but uh he got the hell out of dodge monica's a tween and he got sense what's a tweener someone who has one foot in the projects and one foot in the suburbs if the brotherhood walking they're acting the food lord knows what would have happened to poor mark it's a cool market now who wants tequila right here uh-uh-uh i mean come on come on you are supposed to help me drown my pain well hey that's right girl get out of my video if you can't do the choreography oh drink it just set me up okay okay glasses up let's go come on good night you'll be fine [Music] coltrane charlie parker miles dave is kind of blue i didn't know this was a jazz fan he's not those are mine really yeah [Music] maybe i got the wrong girl [Applause] the deca collection i gave this to monica her first date [Music] right [Music] you were dead like oh my god my jack in jail debutant my mother made me uh your mother made you okay so monica yep we went freak nick yeah that's a good place oh i'm just getting kind of late and i better be going you know if you want to call me later you can no i think i'm gonna be okay yeah i'm gonna email my boy tomorrow and see what he thought about your magazine idea i'll keep my fingers crossed you don't like your hair natural why'd you straighten it i don't know needed a change still looks good bye bye [Music] uh have a good night good night you are so scandalous [Applause] what's going on the computer crashed he's repairing the hard drive how long is that gonna take it better not take more than two hours i gotta send a note i'll use your's computer good hey just wanted to see how the meeting went with joy call me with an update marcus miles what the hell why would monica's in my email be on zhua's computer [Music] i know you want me to go on this date for you but i don't see why you won't do it yourself monica [Music] face it my man you got played why the hell would you all send letters pretending she was monica i mean you said it yourself man she hated your behind maybe she was just trying to get back at you maybe this whole thing was a scam i can't believe this mess but i can't believe it you better believe it women are coming with it in the y2k hell no no i ain't going out like that they want to play i can play [Music] hello oh hey monica it's marcus marcus yeah look i just wanted to talk to you for a sec um you know what really wasn't cool on me to drop by your place unannounced you know sorry i went down like that um i've been thinking look i really dig you and i'd hate to lose you just because you need some space i was thinking maybe we could uh come to some middle ground like what have an open relationship for a bit well look i'll wait i mean you don't have to decide now but uh it is your birthday this week and i've been planning something kind of special oh okay i'd like to give it to you dinner at marino's merino's tonight sounds great good [Music] [Music] hey juwad marcus i've been thinking a lot about you and i think there's a lot we can do together so i've decided uh we shouldn't [Music] hey marcus i've been thinking a lot about you when uh [Music] hey you look great so do you happy birthday it's your day girl hi hi hi yeah i figured we should all hang out together seeing it your girl's birthday happy birthday yes and a happy birthday it is please wait we're getting another ball of dom perignon keep flowing so or whatever you want thank you something wrong no i'm happy she's here you look great i guess you finally made it to the mall huh so how's the magazine idea coming yeah things are great we're working on it yes yes we are you know juan and i become really good friends to this whole proposal thing she's like a sister a what well you know what i mean we bonded oh me back i'm going to the restroom marcus why would you invite her what it's not like i'm trying to hook up a threesome or anything i just figured you know we're all really good friends we don't hang out enough i thought this was supposed to be romantic it is oh you know before i forget um schwa told me something now she asked me not to tell you but i just gotta know what well she said she's the one who wrote the emails for you know when you originally sent me she told you that yeah it's okay relax she said she had to like help you learn how to be her that [ __ ] i'll be back what's wrong you know marcus i wasn't expecting her here yeah i should have told you right my bad i just figured since you guys like to do everything together you wouldn't mind oh um before i forget monica told me something that's been bugging me what well she said that oh how do i say this just say it right okay um she said actually you were the one who initially wrote the emails she would yeah it's okay okay relax oh my god well you know i gotta go to the bathroom now i guess i can't hold it in like i used to huh why did you tell him you promised i promised you told i didn't say jack then how the hell did he find out hi so you want to know how i found out i pulled it off your emails what you did what yeah i had to use your computer since mine was being fixed you know i was shocked i was like why the hell with these two girls notice how i say girls decide to play some little fifth grade game on me it's not what you think marcus it's forget what i think monika i understand a gold digging trick like yourself doing this play a hater my fighting on you and monica were cut from the same cloth i sure would have hit it last night so i guess a joke's on me right well the bell's on youtube don't fight over girls oh damn this is not funny oh yes it is girl because all of my credit cards are matched [Laughter] and i don't do dishes oh bon appetit hey this is marcus and i'm busy right now so after the beep leave a message hi it's me again joy are you there no call me hey this is marcus and i'm busy right now so after the beep leave a message marcus pick up i know you're there okay so from a guy's point of view is it over how long has it been two weeks oh girl it's over he has moved on signed a new lease on life hey where you going i'm taking two weeks off look i called i know 28 times got your messages [Applause] marcus i'm sorry i made a childish mistake i should have come clean with you from the beginning you know i don't want to hear it i was going to meet you that night at cafe harlem but i had to work monica was there and you confused her from me wait a minute don't don't put this back on me it was you two who lied no i didn't have enough confidence in myself to tell you the truth you were so taken with monica and she with you save it okay i didn't know how to tell you that i was the one that wrote the emails that i was the one falling in love with you until now well it's too late i am done dating girls i'm looking for a woman what are you so excited about why i want you to run the magazine i've made my money and i think it is time for me to travel and have some fun you're retiring just for the magazine i figured you and marcus are finally getting along you two can handle it and it would be a great step for you yeah well i've been thinking about taking some steps in my home come again i decided to go back to new york and start my magazine everyone wants to make life complicated i mean the truth is there are very few surprises you live you learn fall in love if you're lucky and die but for whatever reason when it hits the fan we react like we never saw it coming once you find your place i'll send you the rest of those things and you must move to the east side it's got brooklyn faded okay i'll remember that hi hi so you're out of here yep um you know we've been friends too long to let some brother come between okay i'm sorry for acting like a jerk yeah come here i'm sorry sweet pea fabulous you know have you all ever thought about otis yes i'm just saying women have thought about it done it wanted i'm just saying hi this is juan i sent you an email please check it so i know i've rambled on i guess this is goodbye if you're ever in new york and want a place to crash look me up p.s otis said that there are a million marcuses in new york but for some reason i think he's wrong love joy so you got everything yeah got everything it's a little something from me just to help you stay on your feet now please get the hair quaffed and the nails done you just keep going and going oh i forgot my computer is that marcus hey you almost missed her i've been trying to talk to her so she could stay here and run the magazine and she refuses hey hey and i thought this was going to end like casablanca when humphrey bogart watched angry birdman get on the plane well i just hope she comes to her senses oh please please don't go i have to no look i got your email and you know my plane leaves in an hour the real reason i don't want you to go is [Music] because i love you too you don't have to go to new york mother i'll decide what i have to do i have a plane to catch in an hour no you don't marcus you know how i feel about you for some reason i have to go because i have something to prove to myself prove it to yourself right here i have to go to new york and start my magazine bye i miss you i'm not letting you go i can't [Music] need someone to write your business plans raise venture capital someone listen to jazz with bring your lattes easy on vanilla [Music] yeah i like that what i learned is this all of life is beautiful yes the scars are cool too even if they keloid they push us to become the wonderful humans we are and never sell yourself short trying to be something or somebody you're not you could miss out on a blessing because you never know when love will call sometimes you're staring it right in the face and hopefully it's staring right back at [Music] you [Music] so [Music] you

Channel: reelblack

Views: 24,726

Rating: 4.818182 out of 5

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Id: wAefEgtTATc

Length: 93min 26sec (5606 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 04 2021