Mary Bauer Testimony

my middle name is Jacques which is in Hungarian actually it would be Isaac but it's bad I see as a K which is my maiden name I was born with and I always have been married with two dots under a for some reason which basically it's I think Miriam or Maria but I always have been married except in America they took away the two dots from the top so I had back when I was young a very unusual name at the time I think my mother must have not read a book about some English heroine by the name of Mary or something and she liked the name I don't know or maybe which I never asked and I never found out maybe because being Jewish that was a very Gentile name and maybe she felt it is more passable but more comfortable I really don't know but it's interesting because my Hebrew name is Miriam I was never called as such and really my name was always Mary and I didn't have to change it when I came to America either I was born in Budapest Hungary in 1927 May 29 km away life before the war yes I had a very lovely large family my father had seven brothers so you can imagine their heads seven wives couple children so it was really basically a nice large family the truth is I was the only child of my parents but I didn't feel as an only child because I got a large family and we used to interact with each other a lot to visit each other a lot so from my mother's side I also had to end and one uncle and we were all Hungarians but for my mother's side one sister moved in the twenties to Brazil I was close to one of them in a bay because maybe because I was the only child they're all embraced me they're all like me they all invited me so I get a very nice childhood and we lived in a nice house I had a dog I went to school Hungary and budapest particularly is a four-season country so in the winter time I used to go ice-skating with some of my family some of your cousin so that kids from school which was part of you know young kids routine well sweetheart I didn't have the use to learn it Peck's believe it or not because the truth is that at your ages my age at my time and again remember I was born in 1927 to the met go back in years when I was as old as you guys are so at that time they were not as sophisticated yet we were still more young children than young women and as I said we got friends and as I said before yes we used to run in packs you know but we had of course our own cliques naturally but we didn't had boyfriends not yet my parents who we're sending me to as you heard now I do have many uncles many aunts and many cousins some of them very Orthodox we have been reformed in Budapest consequently I also went to a public school and my parents made sure that I usually spend holidays big holidays all the family came up to Budapest and we were like in a restaurant because we were so many and those are beautiful memories because it was all family all loving all together and it was holidays but during the year particularly during school vacations all also Jewish holidays which we kept definitely like you guys in America our day shock was eight days straight true same during Rosh Hashanah eight days which meant which was fun good my body school the Jewish girls didn't go to school during that time and they also observed the guys share holidays because that was part of the school because I went to a public school so I didn't know much to school note I am joking of course I did but during vacations my parents sent me to my very reasons to learn from them how to be kosher how to set us say that table and I have a very cute story maybe I could share it with you one day I am at one of my favorite ends house who was so Orthodox that she were actually a shaker which is a week you know that especially shall have a girls you should know that so what happened was she was out and I was hungry so I go to the kitchen take a knife and cut a piece of salami and my aunt comes home looks at me grabbed the knife runs to the backyard start sticking the knife in the backyard and I thought oh my god what happened to my auntie I run to the telephone and I call the doctor and I says dr. Furman please come over my auntie's Michigan I don't know what happened I'm afraid and he comes over you sees my aunt starts laughing this is what's so funny he said she's just covering the knife I use the milk knife got the salami with it that's how one learned how to separate milk from me and I thought this story was very funny I don't know if you like that funny but I really got scared because I didn't know that custom how in those days you have to cleanse a knife going to public school and as being Hungarians me particularly followed naturally the curriculum of a Hungarian public school but at the same time in a classroom that I went we had approximately let me put it this way the country was a Roman Catholic country predominantly they had some Protestants and Jews who were in a classroom where I went definitely a minority maybe we had four or five Jewish girls in a class of twenty twenty-five kids if that makes sense to you so we all had one Sunday Hebrew school where a teacher came in and that's when they went in and we were learning our own religion Hebrew and holidays and whatever because this was not taught in the classroom for us we the best comparison i can say like really fit in America we were incorporated in the mainstream of the Hungarians due to the fact that we were not Orthodox we did not kept going to an Orthodox Jew or to an Orthodox synagogue or temple consequently we were more out in the mainstream with mingling with Gentile Hungarians but at the same time they were Jews there was a certain separation but not big difference like we are here in America obviously today I am much more Jewish than Hungarian would even been an American I am how do they say that I am an American hungarian-american Hungarian or whatever in Hungary that actually wasn't a question at that time which is important the whole country spoke Hungarian the whole country was white so there were actually no others accepted difference in religion but the deviation was not as visible or the contrast was not as big except yes during Christmas just like here we had and there the only bad part was that during Easter in school since we were Jewish minority kids and the rest of the class were Catholics in those days the Catholic Church was not reformed as much as today a little bit better but in those days during day Eastern we were pushed around sometimes sometimes here that you killed Jesus and I used to go home to my mother crying I said I didn't kill Jesus why do they say that so this worked times if I answered your question right that absolutely I fed you wish but I didn't resented that I resented them for accusing me of something of which I was innocent obviously but this was just too into eastern time and then during Christmas just like here they had all the Christmas decorations so the Christmas thing going and we be Jewish obviously didn't have anything like that but I didn't really didn't miss it I didn't because at home we were Jews with a Jewish we had Chanukah and again regardless that we were not Orthodox but we were more Jewish it's hard to explain because it was different than comparing to Pierre we were not as secular as some of the Jews here who are not war to those who could even call light river like conservative Jews because we dipped upon a religion the only thing is that as I said we were not observing the Shabbat with the strict rules of not driving not playing not turning on the light so this we did like here some who are not order those hit she was to come over to our house they were Gentiles they were Jewish yes and you know my mother made cookies and we were playing dancing listening to music going out to ice skating not to the movies at my time without accompanying by an adult you could not go unless you were 18 I went with my grandmother to see an American film at that time which was in color which was nothing gasps except the Wizard of Oz and in those days again no television no commercial in a movie first they had a cartoon then they had news which you have no interior and then the film and I never forget sitting with my grandmother watching the screen seeing Hitler and it was a strange feeling because prior there were rumors my parents were in the newspapers we were not as incorporated in adult conversation as you guys today or at the Shabbat table but they were there hearing the adults talking my family talking and vu that this is something a very uncomfortable feeling to see Hitler on TV and I never forget that particular time but I have seen which is so embedded in my memory was evidently he going to Italy because that picture was when he was shaking hands with Mussolini which evidently gave the green light especially in Italy for the Catholics seeing Mussolini shakes hands with Hitler that was a very scary feeling and I remember my grandmother telling me that this is not good we didn't elaborate on it but it was a very eerie feeling going home because I remember her telling this to my parents and that vision stayed with me after today because I feel that if maybe the public wouldn't have seen maybe some I had an uncle living in Italy as well he would have been not deported either historically you know that the Hungarians were the last of all the deportations we were going to school as I described before but much 19th 1944 the Germans merged into one getting in school in a public school the whole class by the principal's advice which was the whole country the school spread lined up believe it or not watching the Germans marching to the Hungarian streets in Budapest which is the capital city I remember seeing people doing flowers and smiling and welcoming them and they in my group in my class the five Jewish girls we just looked at each other and it was a very eerie feeling again where we went home and it happened very quickly because at this point the Hungarians were destined unfortunately to be taken so they were so gung ho to take us that they did not have need at the time or the kindness of doing gradually so both quickly news came out what read the news again only newspaper and radio which at this point ports were controlled by the government consequently all the news we heard which was all the Jews have to put on the yellow star then they started to sew yellow stars on our garments and I went to school with it which is again a horrible strange experience as I told you before the same girls with whom we were friends who came to our house who ate my mother's cookies with whom we danced and listened to music and the I skated together this sat next to each other and all of a sudden I am sitting with a yellow star and she pushes me and says I don't like to sit next to a dirty Jew can you imagine all of a sudden I'm a dirty Jew - the very same girl with whom I am friending for years just because of the yellow star so this were the beginning times but it happened quite fast the next thing was we were supposed to leave their house priority we're supposed to hand them valuables which they collected all the candelabras - silver whatever they considered valuable from homes and then the law came that we have to live our home at this time I was fifteen and a half about maybe six seven months prior they had also a law to the radio and to the newspaper that they collected all the men so suppose that lead I took them for slave labor and as I told you before I was the only child and I was daddy's girl I adored my father and he was taken and I never saw him again so they really don't have news of him he did not go to a camp he did not go like we did to Auschwitz or any of these camps for the Jewish men at that time who was prominent or had businesses or were professional they were all taken to so-called forced labor and the last ayah of that maybe they took him to Romania or to the Russian front we have no idea I never got any news not even after the war but the fact is that the last time I saw my father I was less than 16 at this point we were still in our home still in our house and again my family my grandparents my grandfather was all born in Hungary so there is like a three generation which I can lead back where for my family Hungarian born as matter of fact I had a grandfather who fought in the First World War in Hungarian uniform as a Hungarian soldier during the First World War at this point it was not a safe feeling for sure it wasn't a safe feeling from the moment on when they took my father or when they put on the yellow star and I went to school and I was resented already so it was absolutely not a feeling of safety by all men secondarily it was a very eerie feeling of what comes next what's happening there was again very fast and rapidly the laws they have to leave our home we have to pack a suitcase I don't know if you would like to hear this what transpires for us at that time but when this new scale you are bewildered because you don't get information why you have to pack a suitcase where are you going to go with that suitcase how long are you going to go and why so at this point my grandparents didn't live too far and my mother wanted our grandparents with us yes it was absolutely a law that we have to live our homes so we had to leave the house with that suitcase what are you packing a suitcase when you don't know where you are going so the parents evidently smartly back to Ches chocolate food now I go back to my time to that era of my age so what could I take as a teenager can I take my record player with the records no way Liam had iPads like you guys where you have everything in one little unit you have your music you have your news you have your information no could I take my books they are heavy so what can you take in one suitcase I took underwear I took a change of clothes and we had a law also to write the country the city and the date and our name on the top of the suitcase which at that time we didn't realize why which later on the new today we know that this was all for no reason except to dull our minds not to know what is in store for us because the whole thing as you know has been so cleverly designed I don't know if I should tell you how they did all this in 1942 with the once a conference which I think it's a very important date next to the important date of the Hungarian deportation can you imagine that they were so gone home to take still the remaining Jews of Europe which were the Hungarians when the Americans landed in Normandy and sadly enough yes they took us well at this point their family as you know was my mother and I my father was taken prior and my grandparents joining us but they did not live in our house but at this point we were together with this family the rest of the family let me backtrack because maybe I did not cover it as well remember at the beginning I told you that I had eight uncles and cousins they were also scattered in various Hungarian cities just like here in America Chicago San Diego San Francisco but on High Holidays they also complicate that and we used to be together now at this point in bay cities they were also taking the Jews they may have been taking sooner I was in Budapest two of my uncles and my father and us lived in Budapest they didn't live in the same street but we did live in the same city but at this point they were not connected and remember again communication is not internet communication is not as quickly easily so we could not call each other also they were afraid because we didn't want that to disclose anything some people may have at that time went into hiding some people may be worth trying you know even to go and leave to Palestine I don't know later on they are a lot of stories what happened and how people moved around but here also it's very important like Hannes Enosh who came to wonder Ontarians and we know from history what happened so I don't want to go into this but all of you who here my story you could look at this and look up and connect all this because this is all a lot to do actually with the Hungarian deportation at this point there was no way going to hiding when you were wearing the yellow star and you had neighbors who were not kind or friendly and in a city where we lived it was not like in other countries or in a country where he went living in a small village but maybe you know the neighbors they knew who was the neighbor but detonators were really working that friendly they knew each other but to my memory to answer your question they should have gone into hiding maybe six months prior prior to the yellow star we had some guests coming and again I told you that the adults at that time with the teenagers did not discuss politics or did not actually talked about danger they were trying to save our emotions and our feelings and they really didn't know what's going to be so therefore via guests who were the cast from Vienna but they evidently escaped and they came to Hungary like many from Poland and Czechoslovakia went into hiding and they came to Hungary which was also maybe a way to go down at that time to Palestine but at this point all I can tell you because I tell you my personal story I know that these people came as guests and these people has guests we're sleeping death eating for two three days in our house they had a little boy I never forget his name was Gideon and they used to play we used to share something I even played my records for him and the adults were kind of tense talking but really not with us like we do it here when we talk politics what we talk about the presidential election it was not so at the time so yes these people escaped from Vienna and they were in route somewhere and never seen them again never heard from them again but I do know that they were visitors and later my mother told me that they were running away from Austria and they were trying to go to Palestine that's all I know but they were caught in Hungary I have no idea this point was very difficult to go into hiding or to escape or to go away this is part of the Hungarian tragedy really unless you had previous contact with very friendly Gentiles would you live maybe not in the area where we did because I am sure that historically there are some who did but to my knowledge be at that point we could not what happened where we were no longer in control at all we literally had to live our home with the suitcase and as we came out from the whole neighborhood the Jews who lived around we're also coming out from their homes with their suitcases and they lined up and we started by some Hungarian soldiers at that point a towards the railroad station and this where those infamous boxcars I regret more that the Hungarians where as anti-semitic and didn't want us where we were three generations part of them with a different religion but women citizens that's a bigger regret that they did not want us then we have contributed so much like everywhere where we go we do contribute so much and again Google up some of the Hungarian musicians scientists my goodness the vitamin C was discovered just to give you an example by a Hungarian doctor and it goes on and on and on this is very regretful as far I feel regret that it had to come to the fact that we were unwanted and deported and killed and abused I met after the war or here in America many who have left way way before like a year before and they retained a family they had the whole family intact because they did escape and that's a regret and I am sorry but again we were so rooted that there was no reason prior to live because we were not abused and again I had Orthodox family they were not abused they lived in the city they ran the businesses they had their lives and all of a sudden you know you were already caught in this horrible situation where you could not help but later on I have beautiful stories of one of my uncle who did escape well at this point it was together with my grandmother and my grandfather and my mother and I but my girlfriend her mother and some people from the neighborhood told in Europe they were Jews like us and we were again going to the train station at the train station it was horrible because before we were even put into this boxcars they have asked us to put in a box and there was a Hungarian soldier standing with a box asking us to throw into the box any jewelry we may have on ourselves so in front of was for instance my girlfriend her mom her sister and she couldn't take out her earrings and this Hungarian soldiers reached over and yanked out her earrings from her you know which started to drip blood and I stood behind her and that was the first brutality and the first blood I witnessed and seen of course very quickly I tried to take out my earrings and when they came in line we took out our necklaces and our rings and just dropped it in that box which I believe it was not even a legal law because they could do anything against Jews there was no law to protect us or to punish them for abusing deserve so I am sure that this Hungarian soldier may have been charged just to put us into this train but he figured let's take from the Jews what we still can and that was the jewelry on us so my grandmother for instance was trying to take off her wedding ring and at that point she may have been married to my grandfather who knows maybe 40 50 years and of course she never took off her wedding ring and she couldn't and that very same soldier who yank the earring got of my girlfriend's here broke my grandmother finger in order to take off her ring so these were the beginning of entering the boxcars which actually took us to Auschwitz this boxcar is you know from history we're destined for transporting Freight or horses like six horses they shall been like 7075 people and we were like sardines by then then they said there is a corner with a bucket and once you need to relieve yourself use it as your bedroom and we were in this boxcar now try to imagine that this were people from all walks of life from an area from a neighborhood there were young people old people children pregnant women babies in mother's arms and they all had our little suitcases and we are all shoved in when they close the door all the children their little faces well in the crutch of of the people so naturally some of the parents try to lift them up hold them or put them under suitcases which obviously crushed if these to donate a day later nobody obviously intended to go to that bucket and relieve themselves let alone that there was no way that from that corner they could walk to all these people to that corner but I would like to use your imagination which I left two of the stench of the horrible feeling at this point people crying children crying and early morning the stench where people defecated themselves peed in their pants next day my girlfriend and remember when I told you they were not as sophisticated at that time at your ages at our age she cut her period and she didn't know what it was and the blood is going down her leg and she screams and her mother tells her at that point in that boxcar what that is an old person gets a heart attack a pregnant woman may get in labor a person dies by the time they arrived and we did not know where we are arriving they had no clue of our itinerary where are we going at this point two train stops I really don't know exactly how long it took but I think it took two two and a half day from Budapest to get to Poland where Elvis was and at this point the train stops the doors open up and we look out and I'm clutching to my grandfather and do you remember when I said that my grandfather was in the first word board a Hungarian soldier and he kept medals and he says with her don't worry don't cry look what I brought along and he opens up his phone and his Mario's are in his hand he says you know what then we go out of here I show it to them and so proudly he says I tell them I was a Hungarian soldier they are going to send us home and at this point the doors are open they saw all those people running around with the strap uniforms they had no clue who they are no idea where we are we saw some Germans holding on the leash Shepherd dogs no screaming and raus raus which means in German out out and anybody who was capable we had to get out of this boxcar and it's so quickly it was organized meant to the left they went to the right and they also formed right away a column five five move forwards I could not even kiss her say goodbye to my grandfather he got just involved with all the mayors and other men's going they were all the women looked back and I saw some of these tribes uniformed people at this point we don't know who they were to go into the train to take the people who could not come out or who died or who was sick picking them up by the hand and by the leg and flung them out of this boxcar all I can ask you visualize this visualize this scene and they flunk out these people and in the meantime while this happens move move move and all of a sudden I find myself in front of professor Mengele whom you surely knows who he was he was called the angel of death he was the doctor in Auschwitz he was that weird crazy doctor who used us as guinea pigs instead of animals for which we here in America stand up don't do experiments on monkeys or on dogs but it was okay in those days to the one people on us his craziness was twins so he saved the twins he used the twins one for experiment the other one for the control but I felt because we kept constantly in motion and I am in front of him he is a very he was a very handsome in German uniform the shiny boots a German soldier who whistled the Blue Danube which happened to be a song on which I used to ice-skate at the time then I told you that I used to ice-skate as a happy little girl how weird that he wishes this very song and makes like this and like this and like this and like this and that meant life worth death he pulled out my mom me and my girlfriend this side and he pulled out my grandmother and her curve and my girlfriend's mom who had premature gray hair to that side we still didn't know what that means but as we move to this side like everybody we look at that side and on that side where the children the babies the pregnant women the elderly and big Jews are at that point still so kind not to imagine that something can happen to them guess what we thought they are separated for no other reason because they can't work they may have better recommendations and better food and they will get and we better group of capable and able to work so at that point we realized because they could communicate with these people in the strap uniform who said that the doctor the angel of death professor Mengele and then we were so-called processed they meant into a huge room we had shower heads and it's time German women were surrounding the wall they all had a whip or a baton in their hands screaming Catherine dress take off your clothes drop everything on the floor of course everybody was very reluctant and very careful I mean wants to take off our clothes in front of each other one of this German God a woman takes her whip and dips into the masses of us but the edge of her lip hit somebody's eye and that eye starting to bleed and that moment everybody got scared quickly we take our clothes off the drop/add screaming yelling keep your shoes on keep moving and we move on there is again evidently a previous inmate just like us but we didn't realize that and she shaved all our hair hair underarms and pubic hair they moved to the next one the next one tattooed us this was the last moment of our dignity of our name of our identity they became a member my mother stood a step in front of me but I couldn't find her because there was a sea of both health at naked women and it was so scary at that moment and then they called each other and then they clung to each other again at this point they no longer gave us trapped uniform they didn't care they didn't spend any more uniforms on us but what they give us a pile of clothes but they could pick which we didn't realize that this were the close of the previous transport or death and then they put on a garment which was one item which was nightgown clothes underwear and everything and they were shivering rivercourt we were bald and we were moved out and then they were frightened about where are our relatives when after you know the people so we asked at this point all the people in this tribe uniform realizing they are inmates just like us they were the Polish transport they were once long long before us and sadly enough tell you what's happening we asked them where are our sisters where are our brothers where is our Father where is our model everybody was anxious what happened that whom became did and they said you see that smoke up there that's where they are that's how we found out what happened to the people who were on that site where we thought that they will get a better treatment I wasn't fortunate like some of my peers or some of the other survivors who came with her sister or with a cousin and we were together because as I told you they were picked up from various cities and taken maybe at different dates I personally and all what I am Telling You at this point all my personal story because everything else which relate to this you all can look up and Google and because there is historically all this done but I usually fear we all have a collective story but we each have an individual story and this is what I am Telling You so I at that point unfortunately personally didn't have anybody except my mom I did not meet or see any aunt I did not meet or see any cousins which of course we tried and they asked but again a camp routine was such that you could really not communicate unless you knew somebody who was in another block or knew somebody who was looking for you maybe you met in the camp somebody but I personally have not the only person who was not relative but it's again a very interesting story in they had a thick block called the Revere man if somebody was sick they put them in there that didn't mean you are going to be cured and help then you go out most of them they're put in there because they couldn't work and out of death they were taken to be killed so at one point I was I think I had typhus or something which later I found out but I was taken into the sick house and my mother chancing that she be either shot or beaten or something she came and tried to communicate with the woman doctor who was an inmate just like us but in the camp they had taken some doctors who were helping this horrible miserable doctor Mengele as well so this was a Hungarian doctor who was a friend of my mum from Budapest who was also I think our doctor my mum's here to the window and she said Mary's in there Please Please safer and thanks to this woman that I am Alive because she actually send me out at the time when everybody else was taken to the gas so you know later in the day I don't know how to put this I did not survive not by my smarts not by my bits none of us did it was just chance timing lock and in my case the world was over it was a constant search and I would like you to bear in mind at the beginning but I said how many how large family I had nobody at this point I searched I looked again remember that there is no way like today to internet to search or to find so all that we can do wrote little pieces of papers and they used to hang get in public toilets in markets in movie theaters in railroad stations you know it was always did you know this person did you know this person and they couldn't find anybody I had no relatives at all when I was at this reunion in Philadelphia once I have lived in America more than 20 years or more than 30 at that point everybody had literally made decks written who they are where they come from and I was alone I went with local friends from Los Angeles survivors whom you know and everybody knows here we are friends for the last 60 years we have even forming this very museum 60 years ago so we were over there and I was looking for relatives one old man comes to me and he says and I put my maiden name and my married name and he says was your father having and he describes the business but my parents said and but my uncle's because it was a family business I says yes he says oh you know I play cards every week and this was an old man he says here is his phone and that maybe he is a relative and I called and I have been so naive at that time being the first time back east that I did not realize that I could have from Philadelphia taking a train and go to New York I thought who knows yes I pick up the phone and he says who is it and I was so anxious so what he so nervous I says an America that's in Hungarian Mary I says somebody said that that you are and I mentioned his name Eugene is shocked he says who are you I said Mary he says marry my little brownies I said yes who are you hello and be heard it's my uncle one of the seven brothers of my father I said oh my goodness I want to see you he says come and see me I am in Queens I had no clue but exclaims ready screens I says well I can't do that I am in Philadelphia I have to go home and then I see you so it's a long story I went home like an idiot instead of going over to New York and the following day sir I went and that's when I United myself in this uncle with his wife who was not my end it was a remarriage and my cousin who survived with my uncle they were both deported and at this point we had you know enjoy the family my cousin had two children at this point I'd had so we United but this was a way after my story which we stopped there were constant ongoing selections what men's selection during roll call they used to pull out people who were weak who couldn't stand straight they disappeared we never saw them again so it was a constant fear not only about being killed but being beaten they were constantly abusing beating pushing screaming kicking if they didn't do what we were supposed to do according their rules so it was a constant it's even more than just anxiety it was beyond anxiety but it was on a level where we were basically really numb mentally what was going around but we were aware of it they could not stick together long enough without being separated or without being pulled out or next day they give you an example in the night we had those tired beds where we were like six to eight on one level and we were close to the people we were sleeping with because the same people were roll-call standing together many morning I woke up to a dead person next to me so that person was gone so it was very difficult I was watching some who were relatives together because some family said large family sort came together several sisters or cousins from the same transport and they might be together so I have seen them but some of them again were separated feelings were predominantly in Auschwitz hunger we had one feeling emotionally they were practically no we knew what's happening around us and we were so helpless it was a perpetual fear but not of the tomorrow's but of the immediate what happened in the next minute are they taking me out of the group and killing me or are they beating me up so it was a constant fear of not knowing but the next moment brings but the feeling was consuming us which was funny because as you know the object was to starve us to death so only motivation mostly which I recall was food normal feelings of loneliness or or this type of feelings at that moment is missing because again we were so totally consumed with immediate happenings to our life if you can call it the life but I was with my mom lowliness you don't feel when you are message together you are huddled together you standing in line together you go to the latrine together so the loneliness what you refer to in a normal life called loneliness yes of course it was where is my family Barry where is everybody else why am I here a birthday that was a perpetual thought but as I said before we're thinking was taken over for the surrounding of the camp life not resist there is no way that anybody did but we heard of a major resistance which went down in history big and I was dead during that time that was when three girls helped smuggling from de Voort area comfort there into the crematorium where the men the first time in history which was October in Auschwitz were trying to blow up the crematorium which they did and they felt who worked that they were every six months killed themselves or they couldn't make it till six months so they knew if they have to go and this was the first time in history there that they made a rebellious blowing up the EM I'm in the crematorium they took along the bunch of Germans with them including some of them died to related they caught the girls so in a roundabout way to answer your question that was the only time I experienced and can't recall they punished the girls by hanging them and we had to come out the whole camp and they had to stay there for the day and night watching them being hung and afterwards hanging on the ropes and if we didn't look behind us and around us we're gods predominantly German women who used to beat us push us and make us watch I believe that hope is the bomb what kept me going and kept me alive the always hoped at times when we had a chance to talk to each other like my mom used to tell me you know we get out of here you will get married you will have a beautiful white dress and this we're stories which were wonderful to listen to I even remember if I bring it back now that when we got the tattoo they used to pen down and take up some dirt from the floor and Robert so that maybe this will come out so that it doesn't show later when we get out of here so also some of the older women because of this perpetual hunger they were always talking about food and basically I learned to cook from recipes which indicate the women were exchanging to dream about what we didn't have in our stomachs and these were kind of hoping that maybe when we get out of it we will make we get married so there was hope constantly and the one who didn't or gave up they didn't even have a chance to get suicidal because the barbell wires were high voltage and some of us who were giving a talk they were trying to run and hang on or hold the high voltage and kill themselves they never got that far because the guards were shooting them the moment they got out of line so these were scenes which were almost a daily occurrence dreaming was the word which to me we didn't dream honey we were so starved and so exhausted that we were just jumped out probably trying to sleep again as I said before hope as always but it was a hopeless situation we were surrounded with death and killing and beatings and hopelessness but again the Hope which is not a dream what it may be like because I repeat again the only dream that I had I give you an example mash potatoes to fill my belly pit so we were so consumed with again did the camp life of the daily survivor that we did not drill further out of the camp because we were so busy trying to dream and and and wish what we didn't have like more food and up till today I love mashed potatoes because that was my dream at that time to answer you to fill my belly with mashed potatoes I don't know if this is known or not but we did not have our period that women didn't have it so I don't know if they put some medication in the food or I think logically an anorexic doesn't have it either and we met all like anorexic people so we Constituent we didn't have it but if we would have they still couldn't have the hygienic because the only high journey but we had there when we were again a mess going to a big barrack where they had faucets and we could wash our hands or face maybe but there were no doors no soap they basically was not normal high general like you imagine it wasn't but again we were not clean and we didn't have facilities at that I will when we got that shower because became fatty not clean because you remember my story in the boxcar so in the back car we were already put is sweaty and put it dirty and put his smelly but when we got the original processing of getting the shower that was cleansing us and we went into the showers during my cam time in Auschwitz maybe two or three times which was always full of fear because the showers we were not sure is it going to be water or gas at this point we knew that there is another shower which is fooling the people who walk in there thinking they are going to get a shower and they all died as we know today and we knew what in the camp too but this was always probably for cleansing us so that we are not spreading disease or lives which later in another camp I heard prevent humans live and numbers with enough people they were cattle animals used us as working people we were not people feminine no way no they were some who were in different position who were working in the kitchen so they had a different situation there were some who were they called them bloggers - there these were of one of the barracks like a forum lady for Foreman in a in a in a group so they had better because they were the ones who distributed the food so they took a little bit more for themselves yes so we went envying them but again that was the scape structure where we and I myself and I again only can tell you my story I was the sheep among the rest but it was very rarely today in past history we do know that some had maybe through certain work interaction maybe from the main camp or some could press onwards to look for relatives in another camp so these things were there but that was not the daily routine I mean River there from various countries which meant we had various languages but the connected language basically among us Jews where Yiddish which I didn't speak at the time and I remember this thing that the Polish transport who unfortunately have been not living as freely as some of the Western countries like France or Holland or Germany or Hungary they were more suppressed they were more living in villages on inch setters so to them was Yiddish a normal first language or the second was maybe the country's language I was speaking Hungarian and German fluently but not heeded so I remember that some of the Polish girls said what can you are you when you can't even speak Yiddish and I said I am here just like you and we are suffering together I better learn my language and yes I did learning came from the Polish girl Yiddish I love the language I speak a mini dish with a strong Hungarian accent but I do so differences I only had later in another camp in Auschwitz per se I only had Jews but I have seen gypsies who didn't live long enough I seen them coming and disappearing later in another camp and I was taking out of Auschwitz in Robyn's blood I have seen Jehovah's Witnesses I have seen German women who were most likely there for political reasons or I don't know why but that was the only time than I have seen other cultures or other religions in Auschwitz no you know in a situation like Auschwitz was the only good recharge the one Savior which was God so we all tried to pray to hope to ask but it's very difficult because in that situation you didn't feel that you received help you have seen as I told you wake up in the morning next to a dead person seeing somebody with whom you were working a whole day and next day that person is being beaten to death I only said once to an RC soldier which saved my mother life at that time but that came much much later I can insert that now but that was when we left Auschwitz and the path took in that infamous death march when Ash which was by force anybody who could walk sent on this that much which they called the death match which was January 12th when the Russians were pushing the Germans and evidently the Germans didn't wanted the Russians to liberate us Whitsun us so they forced us even to go out of Auschwitz further to other camps during this Death March German guards were on the site while we were marching who couldn't walk they shot them right then and there it was no winter we didn't have coats or anything or boots some of us just sat down and probably was left there freezing to death or the Germans shot them so you can imagine how it looked the red blood in the white snow and they were not strong we were very depleted of course we were starved my mother couldn't walk anymore and German comes and holds to come over her I don't know what possessed me but as I told you I spoke the language and I don't know why but I looked at him and I said save your bullets she will die anyhow and he looked at me and walked away and if I wouldn't have said that maybe he would have shot my mother this way maybe he was a good German saving his bullet I don't know but this was the only encounter but I had during this environment and time with the German after this match we were put into again trains boxcars and through that transported to Robbins Brook which was already in German ground which was a famous women camp from before and that's when I encountered again other inmates who were not necessarily like us that was also the time where they were so dirty so even the little hygienic but we may have had before no longer we had lice they had sickness my mother caught TB she kept spitting blood coughing and this point a lot of people died next to us more frequently for no reason to seem like in Auschwitz just by being too weak and from here we were again transported to another camp where I was taken to Marshall which was another camp Michael was the last camp that I was at this camp I was with my mother I was with a bunch of Dutch girls and as I told you before there is always noise screaming yelling or data one morning silence dead silence one of the doctors opens the door of the barrack where we've been inside and she says I see no Germans no guards so the other one says let's go out so with all that saying are you crazy who are going to be shot well they were very courageous they worked out very carefully nobody shot them so the other one goes where I told you it was a bad bad wire with high voltage goes to the big gate picks up some wood and he said to check and there is no high voltage nothing she opens the door and walks out and they follow and they walk out of the camp nobody shoots us big silence and we are going out of the camp literally this is in late April and this spring and the birds are singing and the trees are green and the see in the bushes little white berries and we have some rumbles like drugs or something so we are hiding behind the bushes and didn't know what this is and [Music] among us was also some Ukrainian girls who were also captured from the Germans and put into camp because as I told you at this very last camp it were already Gentiles and different cultures and different nations and we see this convoy soldiers but very strange-looking they were Russian soldiers and we never saw them before the Ukrainian girl recognizes them starts running talking to them and they stop so she talks to them and we are looking and they are looking at us we can't communicate with them and she is hugging one guy and talks to him back and forth in their language and they because to us from the moment we got this it's very strange because as you know the Jews don't have a tattoo culture we are not that doing ourselves so to us this tattoo was like something tremendous we thought oh my goodness everybody should know what this means when we show it so we show this to that Russian soldiers so that they understand without language who we got and while Russian soldiers look looks at us opens up his shirt and there is a ship that dude and he starts laughing they exchanged tattoos he was so primitive not to realize what that meant and they didn't understand why is he showing us his ship that took down his chest so this was the first moment of feeling free and liberated which was a very strange feeling because we were not only were not with our own people didn't speak our own language but this was inserting you the first moment first you know hours of my liberation at this point Who am I what am I at this point I don't feel I am am Garion all what I feel is I am a Jew who suffered for being Jewish I am free I am moving on and at that time they kept moving moving moving it's a long story the details are at this point not too important but they landed eventually in Berlin which at this point Berlin was already the capital where all the four powers were already occupying the city the American Jews already sent care packages and clothes and help they had already the Red Cross so we got help at this point but all who we were and they were polish and German F they were survivors mingling out of wherever we came from whichever came from because we all gravitated somewhere and the basic intention was naturally to return home but culturally I don't think anything changed more that I was very strongly aware of the fact I am Jewish and whatever culture I belong to it's no more at this point it was not a cognizant rights it was a kind of bad real demand I wasn't home I didn't have the surroundings which I lost I clung to my mom who was to arrive with me they were other survivors milling around us we were in Germany the German citizenship that done very low-key very much not within our daily routine it was a transitional mind of not really feel or really to thought what's happening where are we going what will be with us we knew one thing we no longer there didn't we no longer fear being killed and be cat food and we had to the whole striving of us was to find people whom be lost or find people who we think survive just like we did and this was basically at that time more our thoughts everybody wanted to go home and go back assuming thinking taking it for granted everything will be like we left it behind right being and battling for the one especially because mom was sick and she needed still doctors care so we couldn't travel or go that fast at some of the others some of the Polish people went back because it was also closer where we were from battling to go back to Poland and behold we got news some came back with the most horrible stories don't go back home they kill you darling I need to tell you this which is horrible now you know history the owner history the Germans invaded in 1939 Poland the rest we know historically ghetto of shits Birkenau the Polish where God for almost six years and good neighbors the ones who did not help Jews and Poland does have a history churches Gentiles were saving a lot of Jewish children and whatnot but I speak of the whole what we heard and what we know they went home to look for take home their business and guess what because those people who for six years took over take possessions their homes they businesses they're not about to give back so a lot of Polish Jews to my knowledge at that time decided uh uh we are not going home and many remained in Germany and started to look for family and this is how we started to emigrate all over the world everywhere and very few and we know today historically they are not many Jews who are back in Poland some yes maybe to big cities but as I said this was a frightening news for us at that time but yes we still went back to Hungary my mom and I because we wanted to pick up the pieces I needed to graduate high school so I went back to my school I can tell you a little story what happened needless to say when we all left the good neighbors they all went into the Jewish homes looting it it was free for all taken it belongs to the Jews who are going to be dead they never come back well some of us did we didn't go back to her home because at that time the whole country was Russian occupied which as you know from history after the war the west and the East was divided and Hungary belonged to the east so the Russians at that time occupied Hungary and all the neighborhood and the homes were relieved before it was a sign probably for the military so that they live there so my mom and I we went somewhere else we lived in another apartment and I went back to school and my mother was very sick at that time yes they collapsed her lung she was in doctors care she seriously got in remains broken TB which accelerated until we head back home so I am back in my high school in the recess I am walking out and one of the girls from my previous class but at this point she's in another class because I started later so I was at this point at the lower class not ready but I was claiming that I can actually graduate you know and she comes opposite me and you remember for my stories before I told you we used to I stayed and my grandmother in those days before the world was meeting for me a beautiful blue on giris scarf and I had to be the purple where I used to ice skate with and in the recess I am walking and this girl comes opposite me wearing my shoes my coat my sky when my head and she knew she recognized me she knew I recognized her and I see my possessions on her she looks at me she says you came back so this should give you an indication how they felled of us being a life and coming back she didn't say oh I am so glad you were there life I'm so glad to see you know you came back so actually I looked at her and I said yes obviously I didn't die and I walked away when I candy story to a class of kids some of the guys are saying why didn't you take yours did at the word Isis because we don't take revenge and their mm I must say that to all of us historically I don't think we find any of us who was in Germany they can get gun or a knife and just went killing the Germans the only thing what we did to my knowledge we captured iseman took him to Israel and legally we were changing a law which at that time Israel didn't have a law of capital punishment and we changed the law in order to be able to punish - but I don't think we have been revengeful that we should have been and nobody should have blamed us but the truth is that I just walked away and probably most the people took our possession because there is nothing left but I have for my previous life there was nothing paintings pictures clothes also I finished school my mother was very anxious to get out of the whole country period she couldn't travel she asked me to go ahead and I actually go out of the country go back to Berlin which was kind of a center of everybody to find a new life at that time as I said before we had a lot of support from America we had a lot of support from the Jewish organizations there was what are the schools opening up for three teaching us a trade for being able to emigrate and work or whatever so I was supposed to go ahead to Berlin and wait for my mom and try to organize for my mom some place to come to of the beach we were planning maybe a new life everybody all of us there was nothing else but constantly did you know this person did you know this person have you heard of this washing that camp it was a constant constant searching for relatives who survived who was dead do you know somebody it was constant looking looking looking when I went back the first thing was did my father come back did anybody knew what happened anybody was in that labor force where they took them personally we didn't find anybody later some other Hungarians who were not Jews but they were guards for the Jews in that labor camps we're saying that they took all these Jews to the Russian front at the time before the Russians push the Germans back and this read the Jews who were there the last story which they told us I don't know whether it is true or not but this Hungarian God who actually knew my family told my mum that they took some of the Jews from this labor force and lock them into a shake and they ignited the shake and they stood around with guns and if anybody from this burning Shack tried to escape they just shot them so supposedly this was where my father perished but that's the last story I knew and that is absolutely no record to my knowledge of this I did live in Germany five years because sadly enough the plan which originally I had that my mother will follow the unite and we will build a new life somewhere we may go somewhere remember the original beginning when you asked me questions I was telling you that I had an uncle of my mother's side living in Brazil but you know somehow we felt that maybe if you go to Brazil there are some relatives or something and my mother was caught behind the Iron Curtain which they called in those days that was the Russian occupied Hungary like Poland and or this country there was no travel anymore I couldn't get him they couldn't come on so I got stuck in battling invaded of course for my mom hopefully to come during this time I needed housing and doing something with myself which was I wanted to become a nurse I went into the hospital was at that time the system is different like in America it's like in a college the nursing student lived in a dorm and half a day they were doing regular college courses and the other half are they were doing physical hospital nursing studies I was hoping that my mother welcome so as time passed by I had German interaction due to the fact that I spoke the language believe it or not I spoke to German doctors in the hospital to other German nurses it was a strange feeling I did not made friendship I didn't become close to them I didn't had a feeling of one thing to kill them or do to them what they did to me but the two T's yes it was ambience resentful because as the five years I spent in Germany I watched them getting normalized their life became more normalized Berlin when I arrived was what you can see in old movies bombed houses roubles and interestingly after a year or two and they were starving - they had nothing it was most interesting life in Berlin in those days another stuff was going on like they could barter for food which they didn't have now we had food because we got from America they got from the Red Cross they did so what is fascinating in during this time they were trying to buy food it was like a black market stuff and for diamonds but for a bunch but for some stuff like that believe it or not which most likely must have been all the Jewish dye mentioned and then gold when they were taking from us and now they were trying to sell back for a piece of bread or for a pound of coffee or for the piece of model this one the time what I lived in Berlin after the war which was a very strange crazy situation they used to call them foreign and Jeep which literally and it's interesting if you think of politics today or go back at that time or you see the Cold War Russia right now or something like that because at that time the foreigner jeep was a Russian and American a French and a British sitting game one chip and they used to zoom around in Berlin and they were very sweet and very helpful they were handing out from the PX what the Americans always said stuff the Russians didn't and they handed out Hershey bars and chewing gum and all kind of stuff as matter of fact I was envious that why wasn't I liberated by Americans I would have gotten all these good stuff which we didn't from the Russians they gave us freedom but the Russians give up black bread and salami and stuff like that but as I said this word little interesting stories after survival in Berlin at that dog I also met the first time a different culture a different race I have seen a black American in an you know in American uniform which was the first black person i stow in my life in Berlin I didn't know more of the American generally except what I knew in school because again education I had I was well educated well-read all along sure what did I know about America what I learned is the country of equality liberty and freedom it's a melting pot everybody loves their each other it's a great country of opportunities for everybody without any discrimination oh my god it's like paradise like you know so America was at that time and still is everybody's dream to go to I am sitting in bedlam at that point I am not sure if I want to go to America or what I want is my mother but at that time years passed by after about three years my mother lights me a letter and she says I met somebody I'm very lonely here do you mind if I would get married well I was like what 19 20 years old my mother was 43 my feeling was oh my god this old woman how dare she getting married when I want her so I write to her since I can't help you and we are not together sure get married now here is a story which and usually don't tell anybody but I am going to say because its effect and again proves how sad it is that after the war you still have to be afraid being a Jew in hunger my mother married this man who loved her was good to her who was Catholic and my mother and I moved to a number which was one member less than mine in house which she stood one step in front of me when big aptitude I remember that she bit her lips not to show fear because she knew I am watching her and what I do know they lived very happily 25 years together she died before him I understand this too correspondence and to people that she is laying in a Catholic cemetery and for 10 years ahead he made arrangement that every week she gets flowers on her grave I personally here in America never witnessed anybody who is loved one to me or family getting gold or dying normally including my mother I never been to a funeral because I am refusing to go to one because to me or my family had known they were somebody in the smoker as I was told when they asked where they are during my time in Valley as you know I lived there five years so I went to school I followed my education I had looked forward to come to America because at this point my mom got married without corresponding and she was writing to me honey why don't you go to America we might be able to see each other much faster than if you sit in Berlin and I am in Hungary maybe from America you will see me much faster okay at this point everybody is in the meantime among here I had already friendships and people because we all were refugees survived living in Berlin some went to Australia of some fond relatives some had relatives in America who sent them Fe David's and stuff like that so it was a beautiful time of happiness moving building a new life so I was ready to come to America the council asked me where do I want to go unfortunately since I didn't have anybody in America to my knowledge at that time where am I going again I repeat luckily I knew enough about America at that time but it was like I saw enough American movies do enough history I thought I don't want to go to New York Newark is for season I am very poor I won't have any money for heating certainly not to buy a coat but a fur coat in those days it was a big deal maybe I won't have housing and who knows maybe I will live in a tenement house and I never come out of there I am NOT going to go to New York but I would like to go to California I knew the weather is wonderful everlasting sunshine that is the beach I can go to the movies for 50 Cent's oh my goodness yeah I said to the counselor I want to go to California that's it so I was actually sponsored by the highest which was at that time a Jewish organization who sponsored people who had no relatives and ever happened so at that time the destination of the refugees who were not having relatives or affidavits they were an East Coast group going to the East Coast and West Coast group and I came not by aeroplane but by ship these were the troop ships which originally during the world the Americans were shipped to England to fight the war some of them went to England and they were part of the you know the today guys and everything so this when the two shapes which weren't bringing the refuge's I am among them so on the ship we had the choice where we want to work our way to again I didn't feel like working in the kitchen because I thought if I get seasick I am done there is no good I want to work on the deck so I was sweeping the deck and they took like two weeks from Bremen Germany to come here to America when did we arrive to New Orleans New Orleans was the Mississippi hardboard where actually the West Coast ships arrived so we got one day freedom to look around in the city and I knew enough because if you remember we used to listen to American music to New Orleans jazz before the war or my record player and stuff like that so I figured over well therefore we are going to come to this city and it was a big shock to me to see New Orleans at that time segregated I arrived in 1951 this and of course America and I have seen an American soldier in uniform in Berlin and the New Orleans the very same soldier can talk to me can sit with me can't be in the hotel where I am so this was to me at that time and tremendous yes now I can answer your previous question a huge culture shock not only a culture shock shock about the country I choose to come to enter lemon which was at that time really off I went back to the hotel and I start expressing my feelings I start screaming saying this is America that's impossible this is like I just left behind I mean I have been with a yellow star and I feel that these people are like that except I don't need a yellow star because they are easy to identify the difference this is horrible the leader of the group says to me lady if you don't shut your mouth they deport you as a communist I came during the McCarthy era and at that time everybody who had a social concert as a companies which we know from history you know what happened in this country at that time to all the writers and the movie makers and all that stuff this is the time when I arrived to America my first experience sadly on American soil was this scene in New Orleans but I have seen people sitting in a bus had black half light in a restaurant half here half here so this was my beginning hunger dive into this country but then I came to Los Angeles and yes it's true sunshine all of us were anxious to rebuild families and this friend of mine they happened to be Hungarians by the way they had a baby about a year old year and a half and I used to play during the transit on the ship with this baby yes they also came to Los Angeles there was another couple of police survivors who also came to Los Angeles as matter of fact tomorrow I have an eye appointment with one of the children of this couple who works at Kaiser as an optometrist so this is interesting because yes we were all coming to LA and they lived in Boyle Heights which is today the barrio at that time it was a big refugee neighborhood they also had a beautiful wonderful shul a temple a Jewish temple which is still a landmark in Los Angeles and we were all refugees living together some of us knew each other from Berlin travel together and we knew each other here and later here in LA when they had children so birthdays les we used to connect and we celebrated and then we dispersed and some of us are still friends today when I came here my English was by far not fluent or well spoken at that time also in Europe few London British English so actually coming to America hearing and trying to talk English in America was not similar to what I thought I speak English so it was difficult that I didn't speak the language fluently I had difficulties at that time yes with my social worker who was part of Jewish Family Service they were at that time my support group my family my leaders my helpers I used to ask very much I want to continue school I want to go to nursing school I want to learn English and they said opening be glad you are free you are alive you are in America learn English first we give you a job and yes they supplied the job I had several jobs at the very beginning here in Los Angeles one was in a factory I used to make lining them to handbags and actually sitting furniture like this with a table but I used to have a boss who used to come on and used to play with my knee and with my leg I didn't like it so I quit the job in those days they had no such a thing then had sexual harassment so I couldn't do that I just pulled back I was kind of very uncomfortable I went to my Social Work and again who said well you shouldn't have to fit a good job so this was another disappointment at my arrival really truly one of my refugee friends had relatives here in LA who was established I came here before the war and they had in Dunton several toy stores and that was so interesting because if I had refugee girls knowing we are honest we won't take money out of the kiddie and it was a small toy store so nothing else but men's ties and different one girls in each of these tie stores that she had about 16 Dunton scattered or on I was working in one he was telling me if the customer comes in say hello if he asked about how much is this ty every1 is $1 and if he gives you the dollar say thank you so all day long guy said hello $1 thank you that was my job then I really was anxious to learn English so I started to go to evening adult English classes at Fairfax high school and I started to learn English we learnt rice to listen rose rice risen Rose I figured oh my god for one word I had to sit here and spend time no way I had a neighbor who had been very sweet and was very supportive to refugee people they spoke Yiddish huh I could speak he - at this point so we spoke Yiddish they weren't Russian immigrants but not like now they came on the turn of the century lived in New York and retired in California so she was very supportive and very nice and she says who you are such a nice young woman and we always sleep here why don't you come over and watch television Oh what is television so on the little 12 inch television once a pink I used to come and watch television buy them actually I learned English from desi and Lucy believe it or not the chat me because they were very animated and it was fun the next thing is I figured I reciprocate with these nice people and invite them for tea so I went to the market obviously in my time or in Berlin after the war there were no canned foods like an American supermarket which was do me wonderful so what did I do I bought some cans I didn't know what inside and I opened up one can it looked like some meaty looking something but I put it in a bowl and I put some parsley and hard-boiled eggs to decorate it and then I made tea and cold cuts and invited these people and they eat everything they don't touch this I figured why don't you mean this then look at me what is it I said don't ask me it's your American food what is it I said I got that for my can what time can so I go to the garbage and I show them there can they start laughing oh my god you stirred those dog food well that's how I learned English I better learn English to know what is on those cans because I only could buy when I saw a picture of a pinch of a pea but this had no picture on in those days so this meant many stories which I had you know in the early years of my American arrival Americans at the early years not really I was certain that with refuges but of all different countries this very neighbors at that time we're telling me you can see the always home alone why don't you come with us to a party and they took me to Sunset Boulevard I heard that from stories never been there there was also a refugee who was an ex a better singer who had once a month an open house for refugees to come and there were some talented people some play the violin the piano somewhere singing so it was kind of a social evening but it was for Refugees I came up there I met this guy there who became later my husband and thanks to him that I speak English as I do every birthday thing and I am a talkative person and I was frustrated because how can I get this guy and I can't speak to him like I want to my English is very limited and as I talk to him I keep telling him listen I wish you would speak German I know you are not speaking Hungarian who does but German if you could it would be so easy to plug in a german-born next date he brings me a dictionary and English German German English dictionary I am dating this guy for eight years big date and we go and I want to talk just a minute oh I plug in the word I'm looking for and my dating I hear this guy goes stop in my conversation just a minute Oh so I spell very well because I saw how this word is spelled I learned words I learned English eventually I spoke English when he asked I could say yes now we are at the City Hall in Santa Monica filling got the marriage license and I look over yesterday you were born in Vienna he says yeah I says how old were you when you left this is 16 it's just you went to high school in Vienna listen yes I says you must speak German too which he answers in German Metallica mr. dragon of course I can speak German I could have strangled him I hated him I called him a liar you made me suffer he says honey he would never learn English if I spoke to her memory you the truth is thanks to him that I speak English as well as I do because that's it later when our children that born I wanted to speak German at the house because I felt automatically they will learn another language but sadly enough he said in our house we are not going to speak German his background is which is also very colorful in another form at 16 he left Vienna right after the crystal nur and he went to Palestine with the last children transport he grew up in Turkey for seven years older than I was he was in Palestine in 1942 the war breaks out all those Jews who were in Palestine at that time they were dressed in an British uniform for them to the British Army and they were that famous Jewish Brigade who after the war or rather in 1948 during which time I was still in bed lean sitting by the radio all of us listening to the United States United Nations voting for Israel and we are excited at this point I never realized I will marry a guy from there and it was amazing to hear that Israel got established they will have a country so fast forwards my husband and all this group of guys at that time we're in the Hagana which is the beginning of the Israeli army they were helping all the refugees who have been coming there in 1948 so the reason why I didn't go with an earlier at that time which I wanted because I was waiting for my mom in Berlin at that time so I have been in Israel as matter of fact I have an extremely interesting again story about Israel just recently we celebrated 50 years of Jerusalem I spent a six-day war in Israel as an American visitor stuck in the six-day war because my flight was under 7 and the war broke out on the 6th and the 3rd day into the Six Day War I was in Jerusalem with some friends who at that time because of my husband connections was remaining in Israel and was in the Israeli army and we sent a car his wife and I and he said Jerusalem is ours do you want to come of course and I did and this is a beautiful story darling really a very unusual one when nobody has been at that time in Jerusalem the third day when it became ours again and I have been there touching the Wailing Wall when nobody was there yet and I ha get and kissed her and her death and nobody send me away and said I can because I'm a woman huh so I recalled yeah this at my grandfather every Passover at the end next year in Jerusalem and I am right here with my house which memories at this waning walls where my grandfather could never live that I can retain two stories so this was part of but us considered living there I had already a very established life here in America and I traveled back and forth I have been a lot there I would like to live there but again that's too complicated for me uprooting and go there some do but the answer is no not at this point I love to go and visit but at times yes I am Jewish I suffered for being one I am aware of it which is sad and horrible that after all these years you know as a fact the whole world anti-semitism Hungary has a miserable regime right now they hate the Jews and frankly everywhere else there is a rising anti-semitism which of course is so and of course it hurts me and of course Israel is the only place in my life when I don't have to worry walking around because I have this number you know miracle many times I do wear long sleeves not because I hide it but because I don't want people to crush them like you do now but this is for another reason but I don't want in a market or in a movie to start going back and tell the stories which I'm telling but it's not easy it's not so this is the reason why I wear long sleeves but I would never remove it like my mother did but I suppose - exactly because for her living in Hungary was not easy being Jewish as I told you the story I was cut away from my mother due to politics then as we know east and west políticas changed some Hungary for a short one became democratic the Berlin Wall came down and they could travel I was very very happy one thing my mother remembered which is said I lived in America I was married in America I had two children in America who didn't know their grandparents who didn't have uncles and aunts who didn't have grandparents and I had a mother in Hungary I wanted to be with me and come at this point she is married no problem my husband said we take them both over here in those days they didn't allow to travel together so we are at the airport my two children waiting for my mom well it was very exciting I haven't seen my mother almost 17 years the last time I have seen my mom and who comes out from the flame so my mother arrived we are all excited sadly enough the kissters become dari and my mother doesn't speak English but who cares she's hugging German we are happy so I preferred around sugar supermarkets laundromats all that stuff now remember this is in success early success and hungary has been behind the Russian I don't curtain so it's a big cultural difference no way also coincidental in that year at the Shrine Auditorium here we had a long hot small celebration of the 13th year of Israel so naturally all my friends and I wanted my mom to experience freedom in America with a leaders freedom celebrating and Israeli of hearts mall in Los Angeles Wow so and the Shrine Auditorium is at that here a beautiful celebratory occasion on the stage an Israeli flag an American flag on the stage dancing and music and and it's wonderful all of a sudden the doors open up and a bunch of bloodshirt Nazis with a swastika and been raiding to this audience jumpin off and there is a riot they are starting to push and beat each other and it was a huge occasion we come back my mother looks at me and says pack up the children let's go home that's what do you mean well she says you know I must tell you something I live in a communist country when that is sure no religion but no swastikas either I have not seen a swastika and I come to your free America and I see a swastika and people are beating up Jews this was effectuated history at that time guys in America in 1964 here in LA um my husband is upset in those days you could pick up the telephone and call a television studio which he did and he called and literally spoke personally to our um Edward Murrow who is famous journalist of that time and he complained that what's going on in this country he says my wife is a survivor of Auschwitz and her mother is arriving from a behind Iron Curtain communist country and she experienced this and he said well it's a very sad situation but this is part of the freedom of America well I could not explain this to my mum she didn't wait that the six weeks until her Lisa was our plan what each in every relieve was to try to keep her here get her husband out and keep her here I even very smartly said to her mom this is America this is not my daddy in America you have divorces and remarriages I find you a husband don't go back of course at this point she is living with the garlic 20 years or whatever she's happy and frightened of but she has experience there and sadly enough she did go back and that's that's the story so we could never really connect all four of us because life was going on here they are two kids they are in school my husband and I and remember and she is dead and unfortunately and we never went back during her lifetime anymore and that was the story which is very sad because basically as you know my whole story most of us teenage girls like me day last day parents and a mother in Auschwitz I didn't Mengele did not separate that us we survived together we were together and we were separated in freedom after surviving for no other reason but politics which is so sad and so horrible because my children lost out and I lost out of a mother who was a life and I consider that you know buried their life because it was unfortunately not free to travel as they should have my search my desire my dream to find relatives family relatives you remember the beginning of my story I grew up in a big loving family and in all my adult life in free America I don't have a big extended family I never give up searching searching searching then I get an email just five years ago then I read that and somebody says to me I think I am your relative right back um I don't think because I don't have relatives in this country I searched for over 60 years for they love them I think you are wrong email back yes you are Hungarian my background is Hungarian I think we are related I figured what a dope just because she has Hungarian background this should be related she writes back again my father died not long ago I found this album up in the attic there are a bunch of pictures I don't know anybody except recognize my father as a teenager and I'm really would like you to identify who these people are here I go again because she finds some pictures I should know them give me a break Budapest is a big city whoever she may be or she has family there why would I know these people she doesn't give up insisting send me all ready to stand pictures now guys I want you to feel all my adult life all during my children who are EDF and I have grandchildren at this point and I look at these pictures and they are pictures of my family of me as a child of my mother of my dog of our house of my father of me as a teenager oh my goodness whew writing back to cut the story short females go back and forth I'm naturally I hop on a plane and go and meet them I mean who are they let's meet them where they live in Belgium Nola's what was the story which I couldn't tell you during because again if you recall I said they could not telephone during Hitler invaded Hungary there was no community other relatives everybody was either trying to fend for themselves or unfortunately were all deported naturally um we took it for granted I took it for granted after the war that nobody came back because I couldn't find anybody well the story went that one of my uncle whose son is my first cousin was dating in Budapest of Belgian consuls daughter to cut the story short she pleaded with her father and these are of course Bergen Gentiles to save her boyfriend and the parents her boyfriends is my cousin and the parents is my uncle and my aunt as it so happened the oldest brother of my father who had seven brothers so what happened they meant about you with phony papers in bed you later of course the Germans were there too so they were never ever disclosing the fact that they were Jews so my aunt and my uncle was quiet about that Jewish background my cousin was quiet and eventually married the Belgian concerns though there who was Catholic they added though that this is the person who was emailing to me her name is Dominik a good Jewish name right so I am now in Belgium meeting Dominik meeting her husband and we go home to her house and in the for ia I see the first thing a beautiful chest and I start crying she says why are you crying I said oh my god I remember this I have seen this in my uncles and aunts home in Budapest she says oh yeah I know my grandparents brought this along sure because the Belgium console could probably had them and help them with lock stock and barrel to leave Budapest with everything else so they were very comfortable very well-to-do and I was very excited with them they were excited with me many are you tired yes would you like to take a bed yes so I am soaking in the bathtub and I yell out Dominic come on we are women I don't want to waste a minute from you I come sit at the edge of the bathtub and let's talk and she sits at the bedrock we talk and she looks at my number she says what is that this is Dominic don't you know she says yeah the Jews used to get this during the world system any client Jewish you are whoa what's going on she says well we are Catholics Isis dominate I have been at your father's Bar Mitzvah she says once they they were so afraid to be found out because of all the anti-semitism modern Hitler times and whatever that they never even had Jewish friends or here in America where do you find that Gentile who doesn't know what is a Bar Mitzvah well she didn't so at this point I start telling her about family history and she starts opening up this book where I have seen the whole story I showed her the connection and yes we did spend all the time to do a family tree well I am the only one who can connect for her where she comes from and who is everybody and at this point that's the story so I did want relatives only five years ago but my uncle and aunt at this point were dead including my first cousin who is her father who unfortunately died three years prior they connected so with all my a sweet story what can I tell you I got a bunch of Catholic family this is one of my grandfather's

Channel: Holocaust Museum LA

Views: 6,595

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Id: mJpgGFby_g8

Length: 149min 30sec (8970 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 13 2019