Marriage Made EZ w/Mike & DeeDee Freeman [060421]

oh you are amazing [Music] and you're good to us that's the testimony you're good to us you are good your mercy endures forever you're so good that's the testimony make that declaration he's good he's good he's good yes yes yes [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey [Music] hallelujah [Music] [Music] declaration declare truth in your heart testify you are good hallelujah [Music] [Music] everybody that your goodness and your mercy continues to follow us we're grateful today we're grateful today where you are [Applause] god we bless you for being committed to us [Applause] [Music] [Applause] everything i see everything i love [Music] everything i want you [Music] you are [Music] [Applause] [Music] say you are good [Music] hey everything i need [Music] the lord bless you and keep you make his face shine upon be gracious to the lord turn his face towards you and give you please [Music] lord bless you and keep you make us [Music] lord turn his face so we lift our hands and say [Music] [Applause] [Music] me [Music] make his face shine apart be gracious [Music] come on everybody sing it out together say [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] all over the world [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] uh generations [Music] generations [Music] generations [Music] generations and keep and your children [Music] how about this this is awesome this is a beach park it's a beach party you see i'm a little beach shirt but is this too dark can they see can they see we are a little dark it looks dark it looks dark oh that looks light right there that shot i'm like this is this is how you get to the bahamas [Laughter] greetings and salutations in the name of our lord and savior jesus christ amen we are so elated i mean with great anticipation about what's going to transpire here tonight marriage made it easy with the e and the z and the z look look look on the screen that really that looks pretty good man big shout out to now you just ruined it you just had you just had us at the beach and now we ought to stay okay i like the beach and uh big shout out wow big shout out to the media department and all the creative people let me tell you all the creatives all of you who are doing what you do and how you're doing it you have made uh the pressures and the problems of the pandemic uh you just turned them into the promises of god big shout out to the band all the guys aaron gabe pj in the house p.j who is that hey tyree yeah tyree's been joining us tyra tom ray what you got by way of uh uh the lutherans yeah how'd you know luther vandross i'd say lutheran that's that's who he talking about though tyra [Music] what's that let me listen to who [Music] oh you've been so good to me ah some people shouldn't sing some people just get the message okay the words to the melody get yourself gathered get yourselves set up for a night of enjoyment now for all of you who are stupid dishes i mean superstitious superstitious you don't have any problem with this dude you know you inside i know under an hombre my mama wish you could sing i wish i could sing too no but you can just a little bit though no no no no um i sing but i'm not a singer that's me i sing but i'm not a singer well you're a little worse than that you do what you got to do okay this marriage made easy this is marriage made easy right um and so we have an awesome night prepared and planned for you we got couples in the kitchen we have friends friends do you realize that she is my friend yeah you keep saying that i'm gonna have him to prove it to you tonight okay you're gonna hear from the proverbial can i call him and tell on you absolutely okay he's your friend yeah that's an individual okay you can call and snitch okay on me all [Music] shot my note that that's a good looking shot though there babe i like that it really looked like we on on the beach actually this is how i got into the bahamas i know i use visual aids just like this verbalizing visualizing internalizing until it materialized verbalize visualize internalize until it materializes what did you do i sat out in our backyard around the pool and i used that as a visual aid to create a meditation place meditation is so good for marriage as well i agree you have to see another day on the canvas of your imagination i did that in order to escape the present problems or to endure or to endure because you're looking off to another day right i love you today i love you today what do we do from here announcements you got some announcements says we have some announcements what are they ah i sure didn't look all these say the same thing yeah no announcement none at all well this is the month of what fitness fitness and we're getting our beach bodies ready oh really well we can't be event driven we have to do this as a lifestyle right and i it's more to it than just getting our beach bodies ready i really want them to know that because there are some who consider themselves as already having a beach body we're interested in health absolutely you know we want you to live long and strong because your anointing is no good without your body and so we want you to be in shape like that not just looking a certain way that's just a benefit from you know that actually it's more about loving you loving yourself yep when you love yourself you will protect yourself and you would do whatever you need to do to make sure yourself i think it has a lot to do with as well honoring what god has given us absolutely the bible says oh you know the bible the bible says know ye not that your body is the temple of holy spirit absolutely got it so that alone that knowledge that information should inspire us to keep god's dwelling place right in the great condition as much as life within us right you got it and go ahead something i was um i said even on wednesday how if we can just commit to one day at a time and that's all i ask people to do we're committing to two pounds a week you need this one pound the first one two pounds that was two oh my word two pounds a week you need the scale and the measuring tape okay because sometimes the increase germain to you're reducing is not only in lbs's it's in inches right got it so sometimes the scale won't tell the accuracy of your progress because guess what muscle weighs more than fat did you know i'm trying to tell you something here but listen to me i'm listening muscle weighs more than fat but at the same time i'm trying to you know kind of make sure you stay on track too oh yeah okay okay so go ahead no you need to take no go is that right jamar jabari jamari what did i say jabbar muscle weighs more than fat and that accurate that's why i'm so heavy okay i'm moving right now you know i was thinking intellectually at first you know i was thinking deep okay so tell me god is all right so now okay let me ask you one question okay what would be your objective for tonight's time what what would you endeavor to see accomplished here tonight answers restoration always i mean that's my objective every marriage made easy um that answers will be no i know you have a general goal and vision for this ministry but specifically tonight knowing that knowing the magnitude of guests that we have oh what what would you probably more of what kind if they could share like things like due to this pandemic like the pressures of the pandemic that was good right answers for the pressures of the pain yes in relationships like how to overcome them how have they overcome you know have they been challenged sometimes if people just hear your authentic truth and your story it really can bring a level of deliverance to them because they feel like they aren't a freak of nature like they um you know haven't been singled out by the enemy it's astonishing to me to know and to think that there are a lot of people who believe that you and i don't go through what we go through what cheese as much as we tell well yeah but somehow it's trumped up but when we tell it because it can't be it can't be like you are saying it because look how well you do yeah but if they would have saw us what 25 years ago 30 years ago you're not even talking about 25 30 years ago i'm talking about and how it appears because something pastor wayne you know said even in bible study on wednesday how the difference about our relationship now and say 37 years ago is our choices that we make you know in order to overcome you know what it is that we go through because we aren't exempt we still have some of the same challenges because i'm still married to the same man praise the lord i was like shade right there for real i mean it's not i'm just saying so over the 13 575 days that we have been married you're saying the only thing that has truly changed are the choices that we've made absolutely i mean we probably don't have i'm sure we don't have the same challenges but we do have challenges but now we know how to handle those challenges which provides the changes in our outcome absolutely because to keep doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes that's not going to happen it's the epitome of stupidity let's bring our guests out maybe they have something to say yes because you need some help to fix some help tonight i'm so oh god overwhelmed this man and this woman to me are the most influential people in prince george's county absolutely no they are amazing leading the way definitely in ministry say amen to that amen and and to be connected to them in the magnitude of all of their success and watch this you'll never get him or her to talk about themselves like i'm speaking about them matter of fact you wouldn't even know you wouldn't even know they are as successful as they are as bad as they are they they're just they're just dope the young folks say just and there are some things that i'm believing god for that the four of us will be able to embrace and present to this county to this state to this region to create a unification of the body of christ like we have never seen before because they have been examples in their own right within their marriage their ministry their personal life now god has expanded their influence and really i would like to see him embrace it a lot more than he has is he around right now yeah can he hear what i'm saying he can hear what i'm saying okay he can really hear what i'm saying okay he said i can hear you he said i can hear you okay okay like you can talk about that i'm right here you know my sister-in-law we were we're doing some things together today and she said i can't wait to see my real pastor tonight and i said huh she said yeah you are the place where i go but he is my real pastor this is my sister-in-law pastor my sister-in-law is saying no he is my pastor and i was like what well you know what i'm saying he's a pastor's pastor i just like him he is just everything you want in the past and i'm like i'm right here without further ado man yes some of the greatest people d and i know absolutely john and trina jenkins [Music] [Music] can we take that music down okay okay bring the music down because just just bring it down but man you can't know how excited you know when i did it are we going to okay okay cause you're going okay you're running no i'm excited so y'all heard what we've been talking about so far and that's really it's just going to be an organic conversation you guys have been at it for a long time and we're going to give you an opportunity to tell how long you've been married but we're excited really we are excited thank you all for having us we're thrilled and honored to be here looking been looking forward to it ever since you've invited us when dede was with you trina i said please ask her if they would join us and when you consented to be here see i'm i'm envisioning far more than just this that that involves the both of you all that is going to impact so many lives i see more than just um a connection with you for our sake because we can get with you all and become far more than we are you know with or without the mass is looking in on it it's it's obvious here's my motto you hang with people who have your answer you get away from people who got your problems i mean that's that's very simple so just by virtue of your company i advance absolutely i don't think however it is about just that because why would god create community and allow it to be just for the people involved i believe he has many looking in on relationships as such to demonstrate something that he intended from the very beginning amen so so when you said okay i looked at that as the beginning of many okays to come i'm a faith man because i you and i've been talking a bit about it absolutely kind of messing around with it but it's time that someone is identified pointed to and here's what i'm saying and i'm saying it publicly before thousands i just want to carry the bags i want to be your assistant you carry such great influence in this county a pastor would have to be a hater to not acknowledge the fruit of your ministry and to submit themselves to it to a degree where we can get greater works than these because as influential as you both are you're not going to take this county this state this region by yourselves absolutely is that is that clear together and and let me just say this last thing and now i'll pitch it to you okay prince george what's the population population prince george is maybe a million it's about a million people it's about a million people yeah so you have nine hundred thousand as first of all so we have about 50 000 over here you know and i'm saying even with your nine and our 50 if you will it's still adding to the sum total of the impact yeah yeah you know uh pastor first of all again thank you all for having us it's a joy to be here and i love your vision your passion uh what i have learned because i love this community i there's no other place i'd rather live than where i'm living in this community in this county i love living here don't want to go to l.a don't want to go to atlanta absolutely i don't know any other place maybe the bahamas yeah but i love living here but i i do recognize and and you're gonna have to here's why i need you that's why we need each other because i recognize that uh everybody doesn't celebrate the success of others everybody doesn't that's that's done applause and join and help so um it seems like uh regardless of all because i've tried various and a sundry um collaborative i know over the i've been in first baptist for 30 what is this my 32nd year i've tried a whole bunch of different collaboratives to pull people together tent crusades schools i've tried so many things and it's very difficult to get people yes sir yes sir but i appreciate your faith and your passion to say that maybe we can we we should do something so i'm i'm hopeful and i'm willing and so uh we'll see what god has in store but thank you for the encouragement the challenge and the support the love yeah thank you so much you're encouraging me talk about for a moment the element of honor that has to be installed established inside of that community one for another i've been very big on establishing this culture of honor and agape i think those are two linking missing ingredients in relationships okay so you can go from the micro to the macro we we can just start it right here i don't think that husband arnold's wife as much as he should in many cases the wife not the husband and the agape piece is missing so let's expand that to even you all being a part of that i'm believing that as i exhibit honor and agape towards you there's uh there's a a knitting the collaboration you just mentioned that will cause you to be secure in a connected way absolutely trust building trust okay right honor and agape help to build trust now you know god taught me um here's what i believe i believe a part of why god has blessed us so is because god whipped me one time and i learned from him that if i wanted my prayers answered first peter 3 7. come on that i had to honor this this one right here right right here right right here right here i mean the bible is a great book but then god had to go and throw that verse in there the bible is a great book yeah uh you know if i wanted him to answer my prayers i had to honor her i had to learn to honor her because i had not honored her there's so many things over the course of our marriage i've made oodles of mistakes and errors like not honoring her so my wife would come and tell me stuff that was bothering her i would attribute it to the devil pastor i would say that's the devil rebuke that don't listen where's your faith yeah but then one day god took three and i took the first peter 3 7 and said if i wanted him to answer my prayers if i didn't want my prayers to be hindered i need to give her honor i need to dwell with her live with her according to understanding absolutely and i had not done that and so when i when i learned to do that uh i tell my church the big bird word for me was sensitivity big bird work no question i had to learn to be sensitive so you know i tell these stories like i i bought her some curtains uh for the the dining room and she was sitting in the dining room looking at the curtains and she asked me to come in and look at the curtains with her d that's right yeah she wanted me to come sit down and look at the curtains with her i said do you know i'm a busy person i got phone calls to make sermons to write meetings to have letters to conduct and business meetings to have i ain't got time to look at no curtains and god rebuked me took me to first peter 3 7. why did he have to put that picture in the bible it was already be over on the side somewhere yes sir convicted me that i needed to dwell listen to her hear her heart and hear her pains and listen even though i don't a lot of the stuff my wife tells me pastor i don't know what she's talking about i don't understand it but i had to listen and and and he and and give it weight and validate that that's how she's feeling so uh once i started doing that increasing god blessed me he sure did so so deep when i bought her some curtains for the living room so now you know we went she had the curtains in the dining room might have had time for that when she had the curtains in the living room she didn't had a guts to ask me to come in and sit down so she didn't ask me but look what i did [Music] [Music] i broke the silence you got to watch me you i see it done the prettiest curtains i've ever seen come on come on pastor then i said this and the way they hanging come on come on i was feeling good about myself that i was in the in the room enjoying the curtains yeah she and she broke me down said they ain't curtains they drapes [Laughter] i didn't know there was a difference between well you were feeling yourself right now just need a little humbling just to love it so that worked so i'm honoring her now yeah that's yeah i'm going back to your honor saying that we gotta learn to honor each other that's that's what the kingdom is about yeah you know honoring and so i learned to honor her and when i learned how to honor it it's easy for me to honor other people come on pam it's all about honor absolutely honorary love you hit the two key words honor and love no that's that's real good because when you said when you honored her you learned how to honor other people and i believe a lot of marriage just have it wrong you know we honor everybody else outside not i think that is an awesome point i think what and this is at home it was a little thing that he just mentioned little things and people thinking hey look before we get deeper we have i'm talking about with respect to the honor piece okay you hold your point okay so i don't want to before we get deeper we need to bring in couples in the kitchen okay all right then we'll be right back couples in the kitchen yes yeah because you think everything you say is powerful absolutely that's nice all right come on roll us in the kitchen where's that jingle mary just made a little easier with couples in the kitchen love is what we could give us [Music] and is the couple that's in the kitchen oh okay okay okay hey hey man listen to me how this happened this is a first but who is the cook in the kitchen we can't we don't have your sound guys for whatever reason test it are they in our kitchen baby that's a nice kitchen it is a nice kitchen i was just thinking that yes now okay yo that's my kitchen okay but who cooks in there in that kitchen okay wait a minute you did absolutely zero cooking when you were home right no she cooked a little bit i know you did you cooked a little she could cook tim can cook as well my sweetheart is amazing oh damn come on that's how he got it baby i know running right into the wall you look exceptionally beautiful breeland you you ought to thank god every single day for your daddy every single day i don't know how you confused yourself and got entangled with that guy you know come on baby let's see the food no tim is an amazing man so talk to us about what's in the kitchen today and tim is a real connoisseur of you know the kitchen and uh cuisine who who is this oh it's a shoe set what is it sous chef we decided that because we love traveling and we love dining very well my husband likes to eat very well so we decided that we were going to put a spin on the barbecue um feel and make a barbecue charcuterie board a barbecue chiconery board i like that um it's a french um dish basically so you have normally like meats and cheeses but jams and oils and just a bunch of different things sweetie i think most of the people have seen them and never knew what they were called so if you've seen or i couldn't pronounce it no that that would be me i mean look i was sure cooler cooleration could reach here all over the place with that you remember when i was i was going through that tim yes yes sir give me the correct pronunciation charcuterie yes like shark yes coolery yes sir okay that's the best way i'm gonna get away with it okay so now what do you have on it and what did you have to go through so we have a few things on it i have angel eggs here and then i have uh corn on the cob they're [Music] you have what egg beans baked beans hot dogs hamburgers and then like a watermelon situation but we're going to show you how to mix your hamburgers and then how to make a watermelon drink breeze makes the best seasoned hamburger i've ever had yeah i tried to tell my mom that earlier she said ooh baby that's not true i hate her that's not true no she does make a great hamburger i'm not a hater here you gotta shake it and make it pretty i have an onion powder you make a cookie about popcorn that's how he got it right yes the brown sauce that's worcestershire sauce yeah [Music] [Applause] and easier and then you want to make them kind of not flat or mush but a perfect shape so when you put them on the grill they're going to already kind of shrink right i want to give you a tip if you don't mind i would love that because i am the sous chef today but i'd like to do a tip have you ever had burgers and they they they lumber in the middle a tip is to take your patty put an ice cube in the middle when you put it on the grill and you get perfectly flat burgers every time wow when you put it on the grill when you put it on the grill put an ice cube right in the middle and just allow it to melt don't move it just and as it's cooking it'll keep it in that flat position because what's happening is the middle is cooking for some reason faster than the outside which is causing it to go off like fences oh i never knew that i could tell by the burgers you made i'm a warrior see that's how they turn on you real fast see you turn on me real fast that's why i i put all the compliments in it great you know the compliments and the complaints and the same things i know that burger was fantastic you know it was good absolutely but it was it was a little popular yeah you all spend a lot of time really together in the kitchen how is that enhancing being advantageous for your relationship has cooking really assisted your marriage at all and have you ever been a little heated with one another and had to cook something together you know what it has helped my patients because although i like to cook it'll go off you know although i like to cook uh my patience level for um for a process that i know the steps to and someone is maybe pushing me in another way i've got i'm trying to be diplomatic about it um i'm trying to be a good man but so it has caused me to learn how to um you know work well with other people because they're apostles there's one thing that you taught me we could know where we're going but there's multiple ways to get there so what i know is not all there is to know so it's caused us to bond because it has taught me too um to work together with um the most important person on this planet which is my breathing okay so in recognizing that does that spill over into other areas of your relationship obviously you've had a financial trajectory of how you have done things over the years uh making decisions coming to a conclusion now you have to add her individualism into your process has been in the kitchen cooking together spilled over into that area and assisting you do you understand does that make sense yeah i would say so because we have to communicate so um our styles of cooking are completely different like tim doesn't want anybody's kitchen he just i want everything chopped up perfectly it has to be fine chop you know and i i may be a little um jb wooten and we just throw it in there we'll figure it out at the end you make you may be eating the onion ring and get some skin i mean no biggie okay a crab cake and get in the shell he wasn't standing that way no but we really have to communicate and talk through different ways because i can say it may not take all that well he could say actually it does in this area you know apply discipline and excellence in this area and it'll it'll follow so i would say it definitely helped our communication styles words better wow you got any questions you guys have any questions for them concerning this because i do i do okay think about one because i do see and because you've recognized those things your styles for years we had so much against us because she thought like east i thought like we do we still do that but yeah we still do but we figured it out after about seven or eight years yeah it was a mess we just accept it now it's like i think you begin to embrace the differences opposed to trying to make somebody be you i deliberately one time fast y'all keep cooking yeah we could come back to them because they had some stuff we're gonna taste what they y'all we'll come back to y'all i deliberately want to have them over there let's see what that is what is that right there well we can ask him when we come back now now pastor this is my other son yeah this is britney's husband yeah he's my favorite i mean i mean i mean okay crazy i love you boy that's that's beautiful guys i'm i'm not eating this right now right you want everything buy your stuff we want to see how it tastes do you want something i don't know i'm just playing okay but i deliberately we pulled up out front here and so i'm thinking she came to a portion of the side of the front door now i already mapped out how you should go into the door and she's on a certain side and i'm saying she's going to use her left hand and open the left side of the door right and i'm prepared for this so because i'm coming from the other side she crosses over to the right hand of the door grab it with her right hand and then she walks in i said why'd you do that she said what do you mean i said you were already on this i'm so much that my newton of a detail that i was looking at to determine how broad and how wide what's the word in my i don't know we were so far from thinking the same [Music] have you ever had like trina you think one way about something you have an impasse and with us it would turn into some intense fellowship absolutely why though why would it because it's like again going back the beauty in marriage should be the differences that marriage brings to me it's like for me to embrace you you know for me to embrace the way you do things and you to embrace the way that i do things it's like come on we all like diversity look at all of the different things that are here on this charcuterie okay whatever it is would you like an angel no you help yourself but i mean i think when couples really you talking about agape and honor to me when people really honor you know the relationship then you accept you know the difference is it's like don't try to make me be young that's right father we bless the food sanctified by the word and prayer in jesus name amen amen because opposites you know attract yes and we weren't attracted to each other because you were just like me or i was just like you there are things about you that really talking in my church i know you know what it is but no it's okay no we should have gave you and i talk loud you know so usually i talk so loud it'll still pick up but i'm gonna remember okay okay i love you so what wait she was oh go ahead go ahead no i was just saying we're attracted to each other because of differences you know because opposites do attract and so we are attracted to those things before we come together in marriage i wonder why we're not still attracted to those things after we get married and the the key is accepting your spouse the way god wired them because you're not going to change okay i've learned that the hard work i learned to appreciate the way they are i learned that exactly yeah and you know say appreciate appreciate so in value and just don't try to change them right that's what creates a lot of drama in marriages when one spouse tries to change the other spouse so we have to learn to embrace their differences and just acknowledge it that's how they're wired and only god can change them right and then when you when you when you talk about love you talk about um loving unconditionally when you're talking about agape so if i have to be like you for you to honor and respect me come on come on come on okay okay okay don't make sense that's not love okay first lady yes no that's that's real good and i'm praying that our audience really are grabbing and picking up these gems and nuggets tonight because a lot of times we may not say something that you may be directly going through but it is something that is said that you can apply it to whatever it is that you're going through in your relationship i have a question though yeah okay isn't there a better way to do things yeah my way so if that's the better way i submit to it no you don't go you know you don't but this is this is the challenge wait stop slow down no pump the brakes this mutual submission is what i taught no i understand that but i'm talking about in the beginning no i'm talking about even now like if i think if i want to go to the left and you want to go to the right you cannot understand why i want to go to the left it's not like still today i just accept that yeah that's what i'm saying but isn't there a right way to it whose way is right it's the right way yeah whose way is the right way he likes that for me coming in that building the objective was accomplished now i got it right in the building i know that right but if i can get in the building a better way what's up with that makeup the dichotomy of our thinking in the psychology you know what i'm saying because even in finances right isn't that isn't there a better way i need it how did he determine whose way it's better for us to pick up the bird i want a burger a approach you say an egg or a burger what do you want you you know i'm just i hear you inquiring minds want to know because it's not your thought process better than trinas [Laughter] watch it you about to get me in trouble basically basically no but in the household aren't there strengths and weaknesses absolutely and shouldn't we learn to identify the strength of one versus the other and then submit to it right like when it comes to health and healing dede is the strongest so when she starts talking about the word of god the spirit of god concerning health and healing i set my lower mouth because when it comes to believing god she did it she she did it she did it proved it emphatically yeah you you're following what i'm saying so i submit i yield and i say sweetie i honor the fact that you're bigger and better than me in that area is that a problem to identify who's stronger without intimidating the one who is not as secure or feeling inferior yeah i mean inquiring minds i dig around some stuff that some people choose not to dig around i think okay and i am persuaded come on that the best way is a blend of both because marriage is about compromise okay marriage is about compromise let me say that again it's about compromise okay is there any rum in this guy i don't know if i'm liking it's about communicating and talking about you know because because each of us has something to contribute to the issue and absolutely and it may be after we've talked about it we may determine that dd is the one that's the health person okay right or it may be that on other issues entering into the building okay bishop [Laughter] no no truly if there's one man that's in this world that i'm going to listen to it would be you no really i mean i mean that oh he means that no i mean every bit of that i appreciate that and that's a part of the honor and and i yield myself that and and the minute men and women begin to understand the success in that that's the minute that they're going to be catapulted into an entirely different dimension you got it that's the order of god that a man submitted himself to another man and let that man lead them to the next place in life period you don't get that you don't get the formula of the kingdom of heaven that's right okay now that's right but because she's better than me where is the compromise to be added in that situation on the health issues on the health situation that's established yeah that then that's that's done but now as it relates to other things you know finance is in the home it needs to be who is the strongest well it depends on in what it's we stress in two different things like you're a better for all baby just saying that it's because it's a divide to me she's the man again i know but you're a better saver see i was gonna give you compliments on that you're he's a better strategist when it comes to the finances me i'm going to make sure everything is taken care of right absolutely right so then who should she listen to well in that so then who should she listen to in that situation right in that situation well this is our rule i love y'all i love it i love it we want to hear your rules because you talk about how many years here of marriage what is it this august would be 41 years 41 years who would not listen to 41 years of how we've done it yeah so so here's our way because we are really totally different we look at ministry different we we just like totally totally totally different you would never know that well i think because we have rules we have boundaries we have um when we communicate and we come to to these kinds of situations and these kinds of situations and the jenkins come to an impact yes we come to your house we do we do [Laughter] yeah absolutely we do but so here's the here's here's a rule that that we use if we come to an impasse when we can't agree on whose way is right i will humbly submit to his leadership as the priest in our home wow i will humbly submit to that now wait just pause because dede is receiving no receiving you've been saying you know that's the truth that is right and i'm not going to put my mouth on it negatively either right that's going to be right and if it doesn't work she ain't going to come back i told you absolutely okay now my husband as as i humbly submit my husband honors me because he gives me what he calls veto power veto power i like that now i have only how many years have we been married so we've been married 41 years how many times let's talk about the veto power first this is so good wait a second veto and she said i've only used it that's like the golden button yeah that's right okay okay talk about so so she'll yield if we if we can't come to an agreement see if got to preface this by saying that we try to come and meet a mutual agreement right so give take and see if we can come to a place where we're both comfortable if we can't she yields to my leadership but how how did you train her to do that how did you get to that part no because i no how did she just get to the place no i mean take a step where she wasn't over a years of just frustration like and you said okay john okay i i submit to you it's gonna be how do you get to that part first well by learning and walking with god through faith come on first trust in him you know and for her to be exposed to other seasoned godly women wives who have lived the life walk the christian faith and taught her right you know i if i have to demand submission from her it's not submission come on pastor if i have to require it it's not submission so i can't teach her how to do that she we we she got exposed to godly women like a bunny wilson do y'all know who bunny wilson is i think oh my god oh my goodness anyway i'm shocked i don't know that okay remind me to tell you okay okay she's a woman of god that had great impact on our marriage yeah and one of the areas she taught us in is submission she wrote a book called liberated through submission you should try to get that book liberated through submissions by bunny wilson so should he have this book every every wife should have that every one every wife should have a person every person should have it because the bible includes yep um yeah but you know and i praise god for bunny but people can teach you stuff but until you walk it out come on god will put you in situations he'll put you in circumstances where you have to just go by the word of god and you have to trust god that his word is true and every time god proves himself in every situation he proves himself you trust him then the next situation you're prepared for you trust him more so i had good mentors like miss bunny i call her bunny bunny but i learned to walk that faith walk out by myself by going through trials going through situations and god brought me through so it's my ability to trust god that i can humbly submit because i know god got it all in control i know that everything is working together for my good for his good for the kids good all for me trusting god so i can easily step back and submit does that make sense it makes a lot of sense so if in the process of whatever decision it is that we needed to make if after we have come to that point where she's she's yielded that's what submission is yielding and she has yielded if she still feels a caution in her spirit oh that's when the veto powers that's when the veto part kicks in but now in the 41 years we've been married and she could call she could say veto power we won't move forward wait one second good god oh my god i'm taking that okay we're gonna take that i don't want to say cheers to that no that is so powerful cheers [Music] yeah i mean in 41 years this is not something you use every day right right right he would be veto you know you know my fingers the number of times she's had to do that not very often it's a rare thing and wait a minute you don't have any rebuttal when she says veto power you're not questioning like come on trina no you you just it's shut down we stop and you go to where we're going we wait until we wait until we can both get to a place of agreement we just wait okay okay okay okay okay okay so this goes back to so what if a decision has to be made you don't have very luxury very few decisions pastors so you just messed up the whole arena right there because very few decisions have to be made you know matter of fact my rule is if you have to make the decision by a certain time god's not governed by time so i'm not going to rush into any decision i won't do it so if we can't come to an agreement we just won't do it yeah so if we get to that point it's a no we just won't do it yeah you operate church like that decisions that's how we function too okay so nothing becomes so time sensitive that you're going to rush without having total peace and in agreement and agreement and agreement that agreement is so powerful oh yeah absolutely we we we've lived well we lived our lives without it i mean seven eight nine years of purity hell right you know we've been married for 37 years but we've been happily married and here's what it is i'm just i'm just that's just me i mean we put it out but when we learned the power of agreement it really changed the trajectory of our lives and our relationship because we realized that we were working against each other you know we were busy trying to fight and defend our way opposed to saying hey look let's come to some kind of agreement and make this thing work and so i do i the submission part and all of that it was a challenge in the very beginning because i had no understanding of it i always thought submission as something weak weak controlling you know this domineering kind of and what's your definition now of that just to come in agreement to yield just like uh bishop just said just to yield so under come under yeah whatever that get in position and we that's so powerful even right there because we all have a position absolutely and my position isn't you know less than what his is it's just his position right you know we have to have some kind of order can you imagine if there was no order and no submission here's what bunny wilson said she uses illustration in her book liberating through submission you got to vote we got to get that you got a volkswagen and a tractor trailer driving down the highway the tractor trailer is in the left lane the volkswagen is in the right lane the left lane is coming to a close it's closing merging the volkswagen has the right of way yeah come on come on it's clear volkswagen's hole is right away has the tr tractor trailers coming over in this lane he can hold his right away and be stubborn he'll be he'll be right right but he'll be dead and you know some people are dying yeah and being right absolutely i'm right [Music] one other thing though sweet thing one other no because that's a part of the constitution that we have established in our house your house should have a constitution like everybody knows where everybody goes right we had guidelines and rules that veto power i like that constitution i gotta ask this question because you are in a place in life that many are very very uh attracted to there's a level of admiration i know even with respect to my life looking at youtube you know how much i admire your success your relationship your family you can refuse oh lord say it but tell me were there ever a time that you felt that you were not going to be together oh my god oh my god no i mean i mean like we're we're done here yeah yeah tell them that remember okay let me say a couple stories just i can tell you about the time she got so angry with me that she threw the i had bought her a jewelry box a nice wooden jewelry box and she kept all the jewelry in and she got so angry with me she grabbed the jewelry box and threw it out the window from we were living in a townhouse she took the jury out of it oh no no the jury was in it with the jewelry in it and by the way the window was closed i'm accused i'm gonna kill you trina she threw it out the window and uh it was not a good day i mean yeah we've had our days uh one day she got so mad with me she's crying and she she said i'm out of here i'm gone i'm sick and tired of this so she went into the bedroom start packing she says i'm leaving and and i didn't know what to do i prayed and god told me what to do i went in the closet behind her broke out my suitcase started packing i said i'm going with you come on no no no i'm going with you i'm going with you i'm mad too i'm going with you i'm sick and tired of this i'm going with you if you're leaving you're getting out of it and it broke yeah and i think all couples need something that breaks the tension when you find yourself need something that breaks that breaks the tension and i think that is one of the crucial things that couples need to have for us it's laughter when we get to the place that it's just right somebody will crack a joke and we will just start and and when it hurts so bad though your guard down but everybody has to figure out what that thing is for us it's laughter for someone else it might be okay that's enough but you have to have a cue that the other person knows okay it's time to disarm just like in stitches almost i was so angry with her and i said you know what i sleeping with her was not even an option you know i'm going in here to this other room and i'm going to get on this over i got my pillow forget you you understand and about 15 minutes later there's this nudge in my back it's dede with her pillow and her blanket said so we're sleeping right here it's it's those things see we resolved our relationship that divorce was never enough same with us we did the same okay so that would be significant for every couple to get to that separation is not even not an option [Music] i was like how can i take him out i tell everybody he should be glad he didn't get sick 30 years ago because you have another question today i look at that though guys really ruminate or reminisce about the fact that all those years or those episodes that the life that you have today is what the devil was trying to keep absolutely ooh that's good that's exactly it absolutely and could you say something that would inspire people like it's tough right now right but the devil is trying to keep you from another day that's right can can you in that camera can you expound oh this one right here whatever camera i don't know what you want to do oh crosstalk yeah yeah yeah it's just don't give up that's good hang in there i think zephaniah chapter 3 17 for all of you couples that are struggling because all of us have gotten to that point but even in your struggle god is in the midst go read that read just read that one little verse just zephaniah 3 17 says that god is there amongst you in the midst of you and even though it's difficult god is there in the midst but the devil would have you think that he's nowhere to be he will have you want to give up he will have you not to want to trust not to want to try to throw in your hands but your commitment is to god not by how you feel no that's powerful your commitments to god hang in there we all are here because we hung in there and bishop said something so powerful the devil tried to kill the vision the purpose the destiny that god has for your marriage he put all this he has you in this situation now so that you will never reach his potential come on come on so let's listen to the bishop come on hang in there right absolutely just hang in there absolutely and i i would just ditto that when i look back over these 41 years that we've been married we've had tough ways tough roads but we would not be the people we are today without those experiences all of those experiences are developing you training you helping you become the person god wants you to be and it's so easy to walk away but that's not what god's calling for you to do easy easy to walk away and then you got to go through whatever it is god's trying to teach you the next person how many how many husbands you're gonna wear out how many wives you're gonna kill keep going over and over again until you learn what it is the lord wants you to learn it is in the words of the great prophet johnny taylor is cheaper to keep [Laughter] chime in guys what do you what are your thoughts about what was just shared yeah i i agree with um lady training just not giving up you know sometimes it's easy to just call things quits but when you know that you're going to stick in it you know it's like we know that we're not going anywhere although i wanted to leave him several times um now why would you have to be several times um but listen i do want to talk to i was talking to my i think it was you the other day um where we were talking about how the enemy will try to make you believe that you're the only person going through something right so i i was sitting here listening to um two couples who are the model not just for this region not just for this country but for the world and to hear that you guys are facing some of the things that couples around the world are facing because undoubtedly there are people viewing from all over the world to hear that it's helping so many couples and so many marriages um because you are not the only person going through what you're going through you're not the only person going through financial hardship um communication problems problems with children and blended families i need you to hear me you are not the only person going through it so just to hear um couples who you know we as young couples looking at and people who've been in this for years we look at you guys to glean from your relationships to hear that you guys have gone through and not have gone just going through but have come out successful um with some of these trials is very encouraging so i want to thank you guys for being transparent and and sharing some of your mountains that you um spoke to and told it to be that removed i love it put put them in b flat what you got what you what you have for us and closing the that what's why why is the the melon in the blender okay so we have uh after we've traveled to like rome and paris and all those different places they would have this drink called a limoncello which has alcohol in it so they will also give you something else like of course if you don't drink alcohol but i decided to make my own since then what do they call it palette cleanser it's a palette cleanser so i have ginger here but can you reach that yes and then uh the mint here you can put that in there as well and then you can blend it up so mine's just a it set a little bit crescent screaming i don't know if they can hear my child screaming but praise god oh we could just you can you just blend it for maybe uh a minute or so depending on your blender and then you want to drain it to make sure it's all out there okay oh that's what this thing is in here i want to taste that which one has the alcohol we don't drink here so you can have the um the watermelon without it i was wondering what that was we lost the feed i think you may have to shake it a shake it out i'm not sure i would say i would just say why do i want to taste that and i didn't know it was here well here's the health and wealth and increase in life and abundance and everything we do in jesus name all right oh that's good that's refreshing it is light and it's refreshing the ginger and the mint yeah i should kids yeah yeah definitely okay so this is something after the meal yes after the meal to cleanse your pilot oh wow but since i'm not a drinker i understand and i appreciate that that's good you got it your hamburger was good i'm the only one who tasted your your burger it's a little cold right but i want to taste it i'll be honest or you can use your leftover hamburger meat in your beans as well oh i have to try your beans i'll let you know how i went i love y'all thank you thank you so much we love you now 41 years married 29 children how many years ago generations of them you do have a house i mean six you do have six [Music] i remember when josh was talking about an episode in your house where your baby girl had an asthma attack yeah and mama just went to war how about that tell us how do you how do you protect your home listen to me personally you you are like the sweetest if there's one thing you can help me with try to help dede with with just some sweetener is it is it is it sweet and low is it equal is it stevia what is it you you have been subtly trying to just want you to know you see how sweet her toenails always because dee dee has this whole tea thing she got a teeth thing she's big on touch tone talk and time that's what she wants from me touch tone talking time yeah tone tone is like what you have the bible says the soft answer turns away she's talking right now just because you know she's sweet you don't know she isn't oh god it's so good but you know what that's what i say but then you i'd say i look at at my husband i say john there ain't no need in the devil using both of us i'm not as diplomatic i say the same thing it takes two fools to fight you know the way you position that right right you know which one of us are we going to allow the devil to like that exactly i like that see it's those little gems or nuggets yeah that means so much so over the years you in your own right are being established as a fortress where the devil attacks your house your baby can't breathe yeah jeez give us a little bit of that that yeah i just remember and that was probably around nine or ten and sometimes you know when your mama the lord will wake you up in the middle of the night tell you just go to your children's room and um and that that night i was asleep and and i just heard natalie's voice on the intercom we had intercom in her house and her little voice just so little mommy breathe and it's it nobody but jesus had me to hear that light that light and i went in there and she was she was blue and i just remember calling john get in here and okay wait a minute he is sleep right next to you sleep you here and he sleep okay okay no no this is that shuna mike you remember that shoulder took that baby and that husband said take that baby in the house to his mama yeah cause the mama knew what to do mama come on and jesus woke me up that night because he knew i'd know what to do and and uh anyway john john comes in the room and i just say natalie you will breathe you have to breathe and she looked at me with her little eyes and she took a breath and she passed out and turned blue and at that time john came in the room and grabbed her and started giving her mouth-to-mouth oh jesus recitation i'm not saying the word right yeah yeah and i actually thought she had died yeah she see so she called she's calling 9-1-1 yeah and uh i'm trying to get her to breathe and she's not breathing she's not breathing i actually at one point stop saying honey she's gone you did but this one here thank you very much come on she's gone 9-1-1 get somebody over here now get someone over here and he just came to lose it when he had time i didn't have time to think of that and then my husband at that point when i said he just kept breathing into her so it's just a reminder how his breath put breath back into her and she's breathing ever so slightly and then the paramedics get there and her little chest was so tight and they were just apologizing they come in they say we are so sorry we are so sorry because her little chest she was blue she wasn't getting enough oxygen and she was they were sorry for the loss or the chest compression they were sorry for the loss oh because her chest was so tight so they really thought she was gone she was gone and when they said that i looked up and i saw the closet that natalie would play in in her room and i went into that closet and i cried out to god i said god what will we do without natalie what will we do when i was screaming screaming what will we do and he whispered now do you remember the shunammite that you have preached about do you remember the shunamite that you preached about that you told people that i brought her son back to life see now i was just bringing that up i didn't know that was a part of the testimony i said yes i said yes god yes he said well if i did it for her come on why wouldn't i do it for you come on and when i went out i came out of that closet and the situation hadn't changed she was still blue they were just putting her on that gurney pumping as they're putting her on that gurney the situation hadn't changed come on just preaching right but this time when i looked out i saw fire i saw the chariots of fire all in that room all of heaven was backing me up come on come on and i knew my daughter was gonna make it come on trina and natalie's here today right it was so funny a few weeks after she came home from the hospital she was playing around and she came and she said mommy was i resurrected like jesus and i said yes nat just like jesus just like jesus and she went along her merry way but i'm telling you couples there you go there you go there you go there you go even if you feel like your marriage is dead that your marriage is gone that there's no hope for your man if god could raise natalie out god if god can raise the shoelaces come on he can raise your marriage and raise it back to life come on he can do that well let the whole church say amen can you do that i believe it i believe that i believe listen man close us out here help me with this thought of the pandemic after the pandemic there are so many couples that have had so much pressure on them right and we have discovered that there are a lot of divorce filings going on in some municipalities they have lines waiting to get their papers for divorce you just spoke to them about of course if it's dead it can be resurrected and then i would like to know your position pastor on have you concluded or resolved when you will return have you discussed that can you give us some wisdom can you can you help us we we know that some partners even in our ministry have been suffering due to the lack of fellowship that level of accountability and they want back in but some have been thrilling the majority but but jesus left the 99 went after the one so i got it's it's a two pluralistic approach to you know this inquiry how are you instructing couples or are they income and we've had some not a lot that have gone to be with the lord as a result of covet and and all the stresses concerning that peace after the pandemic what how should we posture or position ourselves for like the aftermath does that make sense or post pandemic what what people have encountered i don't know if does that make any sense it sounds so broad to me but maybe he could um narrow just narrow and down then cause like what are you relating that to marriage ministry life just the aftermath of the pandemic marriage what we're going to do what what what we're going to encounter how should we position ourselves i mean there are some children that have suffered emotionally because they've been out of school so long and the way from there i i don't know just yeah as the lord speaks i am persuaded i love it that we have been in a troubling season okay in a troubling time yes sir but this is not the first time we have encountered troubling times yes sir and god has not stopped being god come on come on he's still the same god yesterday today and forever and you know i mean it's something about you when you get that when that arm come around and you and you positioning yourself you know that that motion right there i mean you no you give attention to detail yeah i i don't know i'm doing it but i know i know i've been told but god is still god he's still in control he still cares about us he still loves you and he still will bring deliverance he will give answers and solutions i'm telling pastors uh apostle i'm telling them uh several things i'm saying to them we have to figure out how to do ministry outside of the walls of a church if you can only have a church inside the walls you're you're not a church and so i'm telling i'm telling and we have a conference coming up uh here on the 19th and 20th of june where we're training pastors and church leaders about doing ministry in a new way and not just thinking that church requires being in a building that's virtual it is virtual okay our website first baptist church or not fbc glennardon.org or they can go to the conference website it's called the beyondconference.com okay the beyond conference every pastor should be a part of that oh yeah and the bottom line is we're training churches how to engage and keep the church alive whether you have a building or not come on you know we've got some of the pastors that i'm covering that they're not even they they can't get a building they don't have a building they were in a school and they couldn't they can't go back to the school they're going to still have church some of them say we don't want to go back to the building so so uh yes the physical thing is important but until god opens up those opportunities for you your church can still be vibrant and alive and meaningful and engaging and connecting it can still do those things if you use technology in the right way and that's what we're trying to teach people to do how our church has it mr b we haven't had church a church service in a building since march 20 20 likewise yeah yeah but we but our church hasn't skipped a beat our income is up our ministry is growing people are still getting saved joining our church we're still doing the work of ministry even though we have not walked into a building and i'm trying to tell pastors and ministers and churches and people you can still do ministry you just got to do it in a new way that's my encouragement so pronounce for me give me the pronunciation of this are we forever changed and i know this is a different meeting but when i have this embarrassment i know together they got it up on the screen right yep the conference so i'm just gonna wait and tune in to hear everything i need to know because i have answers but you know you get around brilliance you want to get as much out of that moment because i approach every moment like it owes me something absolutely that's good and it's deliberate it's deliberate i approach every moment like it owes me something and it's deliberate observation that's it's called paying attention and being intentional in paying attention after you get the instructions that's good you you two have advised us counseled us got you straight god got me straight away you have a better man yes thank you that's important and you have a better wife than you had before they came in here i think that's the beauty of relationship we should be able to bring increase that's why it's so important for you guys to make sure you're getting around couples that can minister to you aren't you i can offer you something that can bring value to your life not just a bunch of laughing and fun and whatever but good bible fellowship increase who you are so make sure you get good people around you and listen to them yes and listen to them so thank you and we can't thank you guys thank you veto beauty i'll see t-shirts tomorrow signs and banners veto power you know that was so amazing what did we do from here sweetie if you want to give give if you don't want to give don't give no really this is good ground and we've learned how to trust god i am a giving expert i live to give and i give to live and god has proven himself over and over again as it relates to the law of sowing and reaping it would be advantageous and it would behoove you to sow into good ground however bobby brown said it's your prerogative no it really is but there are men and women who have been commissioned and even charged to challenge you with respect to your giving we have spent a little over an hour with some marriage experts no no how i mean what 41 what would you have to pay for this kind of encounter and people are paying thousands of dollars to sit down with this success not to mention that dede and i got something working too here now so all of this combined this is 13 575 days 37 years for us 41 do the math 78 years of marital experience that you would be sowing into thank god we both want for nothing we it's not and the apostle paul said it it's not that i desire a gift but i desire that fruit may abound to your account i'm not trying to get anything from you i'm trying to get everything to you and this has worked well for us over the scan span of our lives anything you want to add to that nope i think that's awesome so the giving information is on the screen uh text whatever they tell you they're texted to you how about that yeah that's a good giving appeal okay okay shameful plug shameful plug the lord just dropped a car dealership in our lab congratulations i'm happy for you all i'm not even into that kind of thing but we are with respect to our dominion expanding the kingdom in the marketplace amen god's going to use you to in the same capacity there are things that god is just going to give you because he knows the distribution of goods will get to the hands of his people that's what it's all about we are wealth distribution centers and plumbers use pipes electricians use wires god uses man so but when water goes through a pipe it's impossible without getting wet that pipe got to get wet when electricity goes through a wire it must feel the impact of the electricity that wealth has to get on the man that is available for the distribution of wealth in the earth when that took place because i didn't want to be looked at and i'm glad to have this opportunity we have a just a few minutes i didn't want to be looked at as one of these cats that's just so engaged in all of these different things and you know the success looks like it has come from like a like a hustle or hustlers mentality you know i'm glad god didn't bring us happy harry's motoring used cars you know one of the longest standing institutions of the car industry she he ford surrendered that entire car dealership to my partner and i wow and we were just positioned through this law of sowing and reaping to pull the trigger and acquired the whole thing what so impressed me was it was a crap shoot pastor i decided oh i'm going to post this and let me check the pause of the body of christ give us some idea of where we are with receiving this kind of expansion i i've gotten the most comment ever on any post i mean forget about the supernatural as it relates to opening blind eyes and raising the dead the miracle of it all there was over 1 000 comments and there was not one hater one negative comment everybody this is what i'm talking about expand in the kingdom that's a miracle by itself that's a miracle by itself and so my position has been whatever christians are buying christians should be supplying and we could control commerce as it relates to our authority in this you you're not saying what i'm saying in this region so my passion and appeal to you is that man you got 900 000 members if you would just say when we buy cars let's go buy from a believer i'ma stop with that was shameful enough wasn't it that's good that's what you got you found because i've been doing that for years absolutely listen another guy he goes to from the heart he's responsible for all the signage throughout this whole building and the other locations he comes to me and said the lord told me to give you my entire business this was two weeks ago i'm like lord what are you doing and so as it relates to even marriage i think one of the deficits that we encounter in marriage is the lack of resources cherry senior told me this years ago we don't lack resources we lack togetherness so our relationship that the lord is expanding and growing to me is far more than just us again amen it's about expanding god's people praise god absolutely thank you for allowing me to share that that's good pastor thank you for being here with us and thank you for celebrating the success that we are having at this little missionary baptist church because for you and your father is the same way in ministry i've watched him and i'm saying as brilliant and as big as he is bishop jakes is one of the most humble men he's one of the most humblest men that i know and you pick up that same kind of anointing i mean you walk in such humility and i believe that's a portion of the key of your success as it relates to what you're doing amen did he close this out anything well let me give you closing comments and then uh we'll we'll dismiss how about that we love y'all both dearly with all of our hearts i'm so glad you are alive and here to be able to continue ministry wow so every time i look at you i see a miracle and you're continuing to do miracles god is moving you through moving through you both and we love y'all both very much and you have our support and you have our encouragement and anything we can do to support you guys we're right there we are right one last thing can you tell dede i'm your friend for real can you tell [Laughter] i needed to hear you say that because he always talking about who his friends i said none of them ever say you're their friend he's my friend okay okay do i sound thirsty yes you do yes you do hey we have had an amazing night here tonight i pray that something was said that has changed your relationship for those of you that are planning to be married you're not married yet please sit down and go over this information that you heard tonight because we don't want you to wait till you get into the relationship to begin to prepare we want you to be prepared when you go in the best way the best as possible as you can be absolutely so look if you have not received jesus christ as lord and savior of your life please email that information that's on the screen because we want to make sure that your life is in the right place so you will spend eternity with the father if you want to become a partner here with us with mike and dede freeman ministries you can email us or be like my sister-in-law and make y'all go to john jackson look i told trina just the what was with you a couple of weeks ago i said if my husband was in the past i'll probably be right here i said i'll see you over there please [Laughter] look i love these people so much absolutely but hey we've had an awesome time here tonight please make sure you join us again on next month because we'll be right back here at the same place at the same time bringing you marriage made easy tips i love you and we will see you sunday sunday i love you all right evidence oh he got no evidence doesn't it everything this ain't evidence i know we don't want him to hit luther remember these words we can't be ruling out boobs for we walk by faith not by sight no doubt about it we'll see [Music] so you

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Published: Fri Jun 04 2021