Marriage In Light of Eternity (Part 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

[Applause] oh that was that was really good um very good just so you know like some of you guys are out there going wow that was uncomfortable that was different um you know I wish it was easy like for Francis and Lisa and and that it's we've all got baggage you know like I shared last night like I got issues that I how do you miss the throne of grace as a preacher for 40 years you know like how do you never picture his throne that way um and so even in relationship conversation I uh as I'm listening to making and what's your face Stephanie okay sorry um that's part of my issues I don't remember uh names but uh Mick and Stephanie I I just thought wow what a gift um that's not normal for us you know we don't wake up and go oh let's do that meditation thing um in fact like that's just like one of my one of my uh weaknesses is you know because I just grew up in a family that didn't talk um we didn't ever have a serious conversation and I grew up with parents I never had a single conversation with my parents I never watched my parents talk it was just very transactional very business and so there's like a a weirdness sometimes even with the family and it takes some effort to start conversation you know I was talking to my son last night in Africa and and just I mean it was great but it's it's not the most natural thing it's it's work for some of us and so and just understand that uh like I think our marriage has been amazing uh I I don't know of a happier family but that doesn't mean like oh it's just very natural for I remember one time like I was speaking in a pastor's conference and um they had like a panel of all these pastors it was I think it was for John Piper and then one of the Bethlehem things and and so there were like five pastors up there and they just said hey what's tell me about your family's devotional life together and each guy was like talking about these awesome times well here's what we do every Thursday night you know we did it the next guy's like well I actually have a Pulpit in my upstairs I'm like no seriously and I am sweating because it's like four guys and me and then you know John Piper who I respect so much and each one is just talking about their regular devotional life with their family and and everything in me is like just make some up just just exaggerate that one time and make it sound like it's every week um and that's where like I feel like Jimmy and I are such Polar Opposites in some of this like he's the structure think ahead everything else and I'm like just whatever fly by you know they'll get it and and that's why we laugh about we go we look at our kids and in some ways we raise them exactly the same and in some ways it's Polar Opposites and yet here we have these kids that are just in love with Jesus and are going after it can't be more excited about their walk with the Lord and so just understand I I throw that out I mean when it did come to my turn at that pastor's conference I'm like oh okay you guys I don't do any of that you know and I go it's weird and I Piper next to me goes oh I'm so glad you said that you know and uh and and it was I'm like are you serious he goes yes and and we just talked about the awkwardness and and and I was just it was the coolest thing but um just to throw it out there that it's going to be different for each of us and uh and we all have different baggage and and stuff like that and um yeah anyways yeah everything always comes down to like is your is your heart to love the Lord your God with all your heart soul mind and strength um because maybe we should have more structure that's very possible but we can say we can look at each other and say like our home is for Christ like we we are on a mission you know we are here for the kingdom of God and it's actually I just told Francis again during the encouragement I'm like you I always say the same thing but it's true it's the thing I'm most thankful for is that he leads our family with an eternal mindset he always brings us back to why we're here we're here for Christ we're here for the gospel we're here to make the kingdom advance and we're here to enjoy God and love him and know that we're going to be with him I actually remember reading John Piper's book seeing and savoring Jesus Christ this was 20 years ago and when he was saying like I think he said you know if you could if you knew heaven was going to have all your favorite things food activities people you were surrounded by all of it but Jesus wasn't there would you be okay with that and it struck me to the core because I was I was it shocked me because I thought oh my gosh I don't think that I'm like crazy for heaven because Christ is going to be there I'm going to be with Christ so what is that that's revealing in my heart like wow thank you Lord that started changing my prayers and I hope you catch something from I hear it in the heartbeat of this church I know it's Jimmy and Laura's heart it's our heart we never want to set ourselves up here and say like hey we've got it figured out and we've never made any mistakes and it's like no but Christ is so full of grace and at any moment he can reveal your heart to you and say look how off you are and in a second he can give you the grace to say you can overcome it you are an overcomer there is no temptation that has overtaken you not one not one Temptation has overtaken you that you have no way of Escape God is faithful he is faithful and he will show you a way out so don't ever believe that lie from the enemy that nope you are too far gone you've made too many mistakes you've messed this up I mean there's so many times I I remember the first time I had to say to one of my daughters like oh my gosh I am sorry Rachel I have I literally have tried to take the place of the holy spirit in your life and she kind of looked at me like Mom what are you saying and I was like I am so over doing it with like I want to be the Holy Spirit and I'm not leaving room I was like trying to figure it out she was our firstborn you know bless the firstborns [Music] sorry I I literally even we we now laugh about it I hug her she's 27 years old married with two children and I say I'm sorry honey you know we did our best but it's like you were the guinea pig I'm sorry and it's not like now we're perfect and we have it figured out but we we have learned the Rhythm we have stepped back a little bit like hey God's sovereignty covers way more than we recognize and and he has an interest in gathering our children's Hearts to him way more than than I do and so just confession is so wonderful we can repent at any moment and we can ask God for the things that we don't have if you don't have it if you don't feel it ask the lord it's the ones who who ask that shall receive and if you don't ask that's what the enemy wants to he it's like he just wants to silence you and make you think no God doesn't want to give that to you but it's not true God's heart is for you and his grace is sufficient for you and he will give you the power to overcome all things so be quick to repent one of our it was Vince that was telling us there was a group of Believers that were known as the repenters that's what the people called that group of Believers the repenters why are those people always repenting it's like wow how beautiful is that because what is that show humility right and humility is your best friend if you can be quick to repent um even like now I'm gonna forget his name Nick and Stephanie no no Mick Mick sorry sorry I know sometimes I try to like put myself up and tell Francis like oh I don't even remember that you did that wrong and he's like honey this isn't about you being holy you just you know you keep no record like you know it says love keeps no record of wrong he's like you just keep no record so it's not like us it's not like a blessing for you you you just are a little bit crazy no and it is true uh but I try to remember the most important things like our children's names and birthdays which he can never remember so our second daughter I forgot her name but she uh what are their names I always say the wrong one though at the time but do you remember their birthdays no ours roughly no I I think I'd know all of ours I always forget Claire though it's either May 29th or 30th so I just know it's in that General it's good it's the 30th 30th yeah okay um were you gonna say something about mcnik you said Nick and Stephanie oh did I get sidetracked and you started talking about oh I forget names and uh oh he gives no record it's not important I forgot yep it's all right sorry there it goes I wanted to give proof to everyone that I really can't keep a record oh okay good um where do we go from here you know here's here's what one of the things I really want to do this morning um I want to pray for humility it's a it's a gift it's a miracle like I want to believe in a miracle um and you know usually we think healing of some physical sort and and that's great amazing but like some of you here some of you guys watching some of you who will watch this there's a level of huge of pride in your life that is just it's beyond what you think it is you're deceived you know like we talked about deception um and I've been confronted on Pride I remember I remember in it's either college or seminary that a couple times where I I picture one time specifically this pastor just confronting me on my pride and I was just like explaining myself I go well you saw that as Pride but really um it's a higher level of humility that you don't understand you know it was just like I was just and I I still remember as I'm EX he's like are you listening to yourself he goes you're defending your humility right now think about that for a while and and I I literally walked out of his office going you don't know me and there was just no way of him getting through to me we've all had those conversations where you're going wow this is one of the most arrogant people I've ever met and you try to explain that to them like I would just state things like okay I've met a lot of people in my life and you're in the top two most arrogant I don't know if that says anything to you now I don't resonate you know it's just like there's there's no getting through any little bit because when you're proud you can't you won't admit that you're proud that's the whole definition and that's why I'm like God I I can't just tell people they're proud no one was able to tell me I was proud you somehow did it you somehow through your grace through humiliation through my own sin finding me out through whatever it took my God yours you're the only one that can expose this and I know there's a way I mean the Bible says humble yourselves and so there is something we do and so the start maybe is just this prayer for you to agree with me and say God I need your humility but but I want to humble myself because I've tasted of the times when you humble me and honestly I don't like it you know at the time at least you know now I look back or I'm so glad you humbled me back then in that way as embarrassing horrifying as it was but I really I would really from here on out um like to humble myself um you know and I am commanded to do that and so I'm just going to pray for a spirit of humility father none of us see how proud We Are God is just so helpful last night to stare at Who You Are someone who can't be touched a blazing fire Darkness Gloom a tempest surrounded by innumerable angels the only truly Immortal one who's always been every demon is only in existence because you permit that demon to have life every breath in this room that is taken because we dwell on who you are who dwells in unapproachable light and imagine your throne of grace or coming before your throne of grace and just say open our eyes to our own Pride that's destroying us destroying our families destroying our witness on this Earth please Lord make us like Jesus miraculously make us like Jesus this morning through your spirit through your word by your grace humble us Lord in Jesus name amen amen and we were doing uh a marriage conference in Hawaii once I tend to say yes to those more than Waco um but uh one of the things we did just kind of spur the moment our kids were there and and it was really fun actually we formed like a family band you know and because all my kids are a musical and I I learned electric guitar real quick tried to learn that uh solo uh it was it was horrible it was not that great it wasn't that great because of me all my kids are musicians but I wanted to be a part of the band and uh and I had it down when there's no crowd and then we got there and you had these ear monitors and I couldn't hear the drums and I'm like I started that one over and we did like three times I'm like forget it um but during the conference I was like hey uh kids why don't you come up here I want you to huddle up and I want you to share the best thing we did as parents the worst thing we've done is parents and the funniest thing we've done as parents and and I meant like one thing I didn't mean like each of you share one thing and uh but they we didn't plan this you didn't even know I was going to do that and uh I didn't know I was going to do it um but it was very interesting to hear the kids share like um where we failed in their perspective and uh yeah it was just uh but I I wanted to just let everyone know look here's what we've done and I mean I fell out of my chair at one point the laughing hysterically because I forget some of the stupid things I've done um none of the funny stories were about me yeah FYI yeah they were all gentle with you there's always me um they find that two percent [Laughter] oh that's what I was gonna bring out [Laughter] um anyways back to humility ah oh yeah oh yeah yeah why why why why yeah I mean it was funny one of the one of the ones I forgot you know funniest moments I guess Ellie shared about how one time they wanted her and Zeke they're like a year apart they asked uh you know can we stay up late and I said okay if you put peanut butter on Ellie's armpit and then lick it out you guys can stay up another hour good parenting you know but they're just bringing up different illustrations like that that I would just totally forget about there was one though I don't even think I should share here but I just like fell over I mean it was right on the edge okay um okay so it was uh Rachel was sharing a one-time dad me and mercy wanted to go to 7-Eleven we're little kids and and uh and I didn't want to walk them to 7-Eleven you know and uh I'm like okay here's what you have to do I go either one of you needs to poop on the sidewalk like who says something like that it's just so dumb or you eat one of those Roses right there and so Rachel made her little dark sister eat one of the Roses I was like I was kidding you guys like and I you know then I got mad at Rachel she was talking about that then you got mad at me for making her eat the rose and then you took her to 7-Eleven but not me and I'm like well it just there's no point in any of this okay anyways let's get into the scriptures let's talk about humility um I want to share a passage with you I alluded to it last night a little bit but I want us to stare at it because it's so good and and uh it's it's um Matthew 11 verse 28. so um come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls for my yoke is easy and my burden is light okay this is another phrase that there's red there's this book out called gentle and lowly by Dane or I don't know who he is I'm not say you know I'm just saying it's a great book don't cancel me if he's like a banana or something weirdo anyways the book itself is good you know I just always get canceled for whoever I'm friends with um I'm not even a friend of him okay Dean if you're there we're not friends I don't know who he is I feel like we gotta do this every every time we say anything good about anyone but uh um it's a good book um at least the first half I only read the first half so far so the second half has all his heresy I'm halfway through it um first half is good but it's called gentle and lowly um okay so don't cancel me again uh gentle and lowly in heart up but his point was he says you know this is the only time in Scripture where Jesus describes his own heart so we need to pay attention to that this is the heart of God and and don't go oh that and don't do what I've done for many years where I I kind of look at Jesus on the earth as so different from God Almighty in heaven or well that was like a kind of a respite that was just like a a little parentheses in who he was when he was on there I mean there's some truth to that that he emptied himself of his glory but but when he was on the earth it was every bit what God was he was the image of the invisible God he wanted us to know what he is like in all of his glory and and so the only time he describes his heart and and the hard in the Hebrew mindset it's it's like the core of your being it's the mission control center it's not one little part of you like a finger or an eye no your heart is is who you are this is your name and he's saying learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart like God almighty is saying would you learn from me as powerful as I am I'm gentle and lowly at the core of my being I'm humble and you certainly see that in the life of Jesus right it's like wow this is who he is that's probably one of the first words you think of when you think of Christ on the earth what was he like it's like you're telling me he was on his throne the lightning the Thunder the fire the Angels the you know the darkness the Gloom The Tempest and he's washing feet and he's letting people spit on him and beat him and now he's saying learn from me this is who I am I'm the most approachable being on the planet and those two things don't go together in our minds but that's why God he goes I'm so far beyond you in your world those who are most famous are most unapproachable in your world those who are most powerful are the ones you can't get to and he says I'm gentle and lowly and I'm telling you to draw near to my throne of grace and I'm telling you you can be one with me and and so this is our role model in life that's why the pride that that that creeps up that's in all of us that we don't see it's it's so ugly because this is my role model I want to be gentle I want to be lowly in spirit this is big in the sight of God and it's very hard to fight with a humble person when's the last time you got in a fight you know and it just escalated with a humble person it's it's the pride it's you know we write in our book about how no Spirit-filled couple has ever divorced in the history of mankind it's one or the other has to lose that Spirit-filled or both you're not walking in the spirit this gentle and lowly God in his Spirit you're not and then add each other to where you go we're done we're done it's never happened you got to walk away from him and and that's the other thing you know um why we talked about last night you know what I talked about last night um is the the feelings and everything else um you know as good as our relationship is like I look at my my wife and as great as she is there's just times when you're not feeling it um and and so it's not always like oh because she's so great I'm gonna love her and return everything else at the end of the day um let me back this up okay like I pray I go God selfishly could you keep Lisa alive as long as I'm on the Earth like I just don't want to go through life without her um yeah I I'd rather just die first you know if I can you know or together we'll crash somewhere um to go through that because this is my partner and I want this for life um but there's days you know um and uh and but at those times like I can I I say that but I also know I can live without her I could but I can't live without peace with God and and the Bible says that he tells the husbands um you know to live with your wives in uh in this respectful way and to see her as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered so some way where if I don't treat her the right way [Music] God's not listening to my prayers that I can't handle I really can't live without I can't move on that's why that that at the core of who I am it's like gosh I understand this who this God is and I'm going to stand before him but everything's in his control and and so what do I I spent a day separated from him and and so because I can't live that way I'm just not happy I can't preach I can't I don't do anything right when this isn't right with him and and so because this is part of this equation so even if I don't feel like she deserves it or whatever else or I feel like it's her fault or you know it's that woman you gave me the whole thing you know I can't I can't even go there because I have this fear of God and I have this need of God where I go I can't go a day without you and so all right I gotta go fix this and because and the feeling's not there it's like oh I want to be a good husband and fix it it's like at the end of the day I can't live without a close relationship with God I can't live just the brevity of life I'm just like God I just always want to be right with you um and that's at the core of all of this and so I think someone said it earlier um Stephanie and uh about you know at the end of the day I and I don't remember what I was gonna say she said something good and uh but it was something about God [Laughter] I forgot that I totally understand you yes well I was just like when I think about our almost 30 years of marriage like the the biggest switch for me if I think about where where did the the sanctification come like um it was when I stopped trying to find my or get my motivation from him or being so overly frustrated to like you know if it's any encouragement to you guys I I just needed to make a loud noise when I was so mad at him so I threw my shoe at the closet once just left this big old black scuff mark just to remind me of my my anger and immaturity um but like that's how I just would feel I would get so angry or I'd slam a covered door you know it's like there there was just such like whenever I write a marriage card I'm like welcome to one of the most humbling sanctifying amazing journeys of your life because it you know like now 30 years later I can laugh about that but it's like it was real then where I'm just so mad and so angry and so filled with my own like look what look how he's treating me and I don't deserve this and I'm so frustrated with him and it wasn't until it was like it's funny because one of my friends moms handed me a book and it was called the excellent wife and it is not even in print anymore I'm sorry so you can't cancel me because you can't even get it in order and read it so um but it like slowly the Lord happened to use that little book to just like transform my heart and it was filled with scripture so it wasn't even necessarily about the lady it was just all these passages about like how God wants us to live like this heart of humility this like oh I more than anything I have to be right with God like Francis is saying like if that motivation if that can switch in you to the point where I it was like a few years ago maybe like five but were having one of those fights that you like take to bed which you're not supposed to do because the Bible says do not let the sun go down on your anger but we were the sun was down and and the anger was really high and uh he's it I was so frustrated so now here's 20 years in but with a lot of time with the Lord and scripture and meditation and some sanctification praise God but still like he said something that was like so hurtful that I I've never thought about like bolting and running out the door but I literally felt that angry I wanted to run out the door I pictured myself running down the street and it's like in my mind I'm playing this out like what what am I gonna do I'm just gonna go run down the street and what like scream or I don't know I was just so so hurt and so very excited as the one time I heard you swear oh no I did not hear me I didn't want to say oh I did wow I don't even remember that I gave no record okay I do not remember that I cussed I mean yeah wow and then you threw your Tiara oh my gosh her Miss team she still wears it with her sash but no that part's an exaggeration but the swearing is true oh my gosh I do not remember that wow okay but anyways now you know how sinful I am but um but by God's grace this is how I know that there's there's like God's grace is sufficient because everything in me is picturing running out the door and running down the street but what I do is start to pray out loud and not once have I ever like don't think like oh well Lisa Chan just prays every time they get in an argument how holy like it was just a one-time thing but I cried out to the Lord and we're like laying there in bed I mean do you remember this and I I just start praying like God you have to help us right now we need your grace like I don't know what to do and and so I just start praying and I can't even tell you I can't even tell you how it all ended and whatever but in that moment well we're here so I can tell you how it ended but um but like praise God for the grace to just cry out to him in that moment like I I knew enough like yes it's true that's why we want you here sitting and learning from all these amazing people and like what they did taking you through those scriptures and I was like wow if if marriage conferences would actually just do a lot of that we'd be in a much better place if we get people meditating and praying through the word of God like that is life-changing you know reading the books is fine but the word of God and like just having that wash over you to where yeah I would I would be able to cry out to the Lord in the middle of such an intense argument that's only the grace of God yeah and I don't wanna you know it's it's one of those things where we want to tell you like here's some of the mess in our lives um at this you know but I just want to be completely truthful and really we rarely fight yes that's true I mean this is like a once in 20 year blow up um and it's short-lived because I can't I can't live I just can't live with a lack of peace here and I do remember one time just you know that passage I think it's first Peter you know it's talking about the husbands like just you don't want your prayers hindered so that your prayers and I remember one time she took the humble route and you know because I my way of getting under her skin is I don't I don't yell I just say sarcastic things um I'm just great at sarcasm and just like little things and I know just exactly I mean I'm a t I'm a preacher you know we know how to communicate and so I knew how to get her angry but make it look like I'm not trying to you know it's it's a real skill and uh but I remember one time I knew she wanted to say something back and she didn't and she just humbled herself and oh that made me so mad because I remember laying in bed and again I'm trying to pray but I'm thinking about God's perspective of he's just looking at me like why are you talking you know bro listen to that little angel next to you you know like it just was like wow she's she's okay with the Lord right now and I'm not and I'm I'm not this gentle and lowly I'm nothing like Jesus right now that's not okay to me um and that's that's at the root of so much of this but there's actually a lot of I mean you guys have probably heard them pictures coming in my mind right now like better to be in the corner of a of a house or a roof other than within a quarrelsome wife like or that constant dripping is like a quarrelsome wife um and then I'm thinking about first Peter 3 like when you say gentle I can't help it um but first Peter 3 because it's it is so interesting to me I went to kind of proof text I wanted to look up the word gentle this was like months ago and I actually wanted to kind of communicate to a very specific woman like your need to be gentle but then I went what what popped up was was Matthew also and I it's almost like Francis with the throne of grace like all of a sudden in my mind I've I know first Peter three I've quoted that a hundred times like I've taught that over and over again which is I'll read it so you guys actually know what it is um oh yes wow it's really blurry likewise in chapter three wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives how awesome is that that your husband could be one over just by the way you act when they see your respectful and pure conduct do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God's sight is very precious and now I'm thinking well of course it's very precious it's because he's gentle and lowly in heart and and as I was going to like speak to this woman with this passage and then all of a sudden God is like ushering in these thoughts of like I am gentle it's not just for women like like I am gentle I am God of heaven and I am I am gentle and I I do feel like there is a strength and I have no problem feeling like this is a specific call for women like there is something very beautiful and precious about women who will conduct themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit and I don't pretend to know how that works out that men you are also supposed to be like Christ and be gentle but there is a strength in your gentleness that we're not supposed to have you guys do carry a position of authority and leadership in a way that we don't that's why the Lord says you know treat your wives in an understanding way they're a weaker vessel some people are so offended by that but I'm like yes the Lord gets us we are we are not the ones who usually go to war like they men need a little more fight a little bit more oomph and they do need to be gentle in their in their interactions with people like Christ but there's something very different and separate about how God created men and how God created women and we need to celebrate that and embrace it and be like wow God teach me show me how do I press into this side of who God is like he's specifically saying this for women because our adorning one of my daughters was just showing me this is why I don't have social media or anything but she's just like oh Mom everybody in my department is getting lips done eyes done and these are young girls I mean she's 24 years old my daughter and she's telling me how all these girls are having their implants and also their buttocks implants I'm like seriously um so you know the fake eyelashes that used to be such a like rare thing right and Lord bless you if you're wearing them today I can't figure out how to glue those things on they never stay but we just don't it's like we're so about external adornment and just trying to make this thing that's not going to last looks so good and God is like when's the last time you adorned the inside like Adorn the hidden person of the heart it's hidden you guys nobody sees that but it comes out of you and it's a beauty that is imperishable it will never fade and it's precious to the Lord It's precious to him so spend more time thinking about the hidden person of the heart than standing in front of that mirror and thinking how can I just look as hot as I possibly can and stay as young looking as I possibly can no oh I just I want to I want God to find me precious and I want to believe what is precious is what he says not what the world says yeah I mean when's the last time that thought even entered your mind of I want God to look at me and see me as beautiful I mean that's powerful in God's sight is very precious the gentle and quiet Spirit look we live in a world where this is not lifted up just reading this verse is very offensive maybe to some of you that are watching right now and but that's um that's a lot of God's word it's just it goes so contrary to the world and that's the whole idea the whole world is going a certain direction Ephesians 2 says that you're just following the course of this world you know but then God makes us alive and shows us the truth and at some point we can change and go gosh I've never even thought about how I look in the sight of God do I have this quiet and Gentle Spirit um and that's where in verse 7 it says likewise husbands live with your wives in an understanding way showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since there are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered so there's a way of showing honor I mean again just reading this verse will make people so angry of how dare you call me the weaker vessel um but the idea is one of those perfect um the idea is if I drop these two things which one do you worry about you know this one this is this is a perfect picture this is us guys it's like you know and so we think man how come I can't do that with you why don't you just bounce back and it's like well you're different you know that's not a bad thing like what would you rather be you know it's it's like what is of more value it's it's not and so the idea is not why can't you be like me but it's like no you're different and you deserve a special honor and I'm actually here to protect you in some ways and and it's this is so different you gotta understand like and we're living in a different culture this is so unique um where suddenly I mean in my lifetime I've seen the switch like wait a second it's been one way for six thousand years and then our generation is going to change it and and we just believe we we're the ones that evolved to this point and and we can look at these passages that have stood for six thousand years and be embarrassed of them now and I praise God for this church because you stand on the word of God without apology and that's huge because the Bible says that the church is supposed to be the pillar that holds up that that the truth and um and that's why I love being here uh is just going you know what oh it's nice to be in agreement that this is where the word of God is um and it's the same he's the same yesterday today and forever now some of these verses been abused and taken absolutely we're not denying that but to just throw some of these things away because people have abused them it's just wrong because when Christ returns and it sure feels like it's coming soon he's coming soon um he says if you're ashamed of me and my words I will be ashamed of you on that day and so it's not even enough to just kind of vaguely go yeah I I I I I believe in the word but just to read it out loud and go I'm not going to apologize for this it says what it says and so I'm going to pursue that and like I said last night man that's why we have the word of God because I naturally wouldn't have thought of God that way I naturally wouldn't have thought of myself as a man this way I would naturally think of Lisa you know my natural thinking would be why can't you do this I can do this why don't you toughen up why did that hurt you wouldn't have hurt me that's my natural thinking and a lot of that is the world telling me to think that way when scripture says no honor honor be like Jesus and Jesus was gentle and lowly and this has to be the goal of Our Lives where you go Jesus okay maybe my goals have been off and I've been thinking about this perfect family I'm thinking about you know security I'm thinking about you know a nice home the kids playing in the yard I'm not thinking my goal in life is to look like Jesus to become like God who shows Grace and who is gentle and lowly and and there needs to be a switching a humbling ain't going wow I had the wrong goal I wasn't thinking about becoming like Christ so I just want to read um passage where I'll admit I've been embarrassed of it in the past um try it's not like I try to I just I I feel it I feel the tension when I read it and and I want to quickly apologize for it right after you know but Ephesians 5 starting in verse 22 and I usually don't even a lot of times don't start in 22 I'll go to 25 because it's more acceptable um just read it in the order that it's in God's word remember the God we talked about last night Tempest Gloom throne he says Ephesians 5 22 wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church his body and is himself its savior now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself and Splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I am saying that refers to Christ in the church however Let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband this is the word of God and I'm not embarrassed of it and this is what he says this is how our marriages should look this is how he designed us he is the creator and we're going to hear the exact opposite as we always do from the world and there was a lot of deception in this room and it's not just wives that uh hate the s word here submit not the s word you used um wives the uh it's uh um I just got so excited about that joke suddenly um it's it's yeah it's the word of God wife submit to your husbands as to the Lord man I just want to love my wife as Christ loved the church um it's just this is just the way God created us and others was going to say um husbands some of us don't feel like leading it's not it's not fun um a lot of times and a lot of times I don't I don't want to break the heart of my family and go oh I believe God's calling us to do this and you know they said they're not there yet and many times I just want to back off like God I just I just want to let it flow and but sometimes I'm called a lead and go hey guys I I know this isn't easy I really think God wants us to go in this direction as a family or he wants us to move here he wants us to do this and just sit on it for a bit um I'm sorry you know because uh you know sometimes we hear these things from God it's so much easier just to ignore it and um but we're called to lead and sometimes confront some things that are wrong um and and it's much easier just to go with what the world's thinking is as well it's just a complete partnership and you know unless you're both a 100 percent agreement and like now there's times when I'm I've got a lead and I don't want to but I'm commanded to and I am to be the head of the home and God created me to do this and I will be this and I will do this um but I don't feel like it a lot of times I'm tired and we talk about that now we're tired we've been raising kids for 27 years and we still have an eight-year-old at home and so does it seemed fun you know it was super fun to play baseball when I was 40. you know and uh but I was like no I'm leading this thing I'm you know I'm gonna get out and be active and be friends with them I'm gonna you know and if God calls us to something then once again we're gonna do it again because I don't want to be one of those old guys that did all these radical things when I was 18 for the Lord and each year I played it safer and safer and uh because I'm just tired I mean the young people are dying for older couples who are still living by faith and I get it it's harder and it's easier you know we're praying about it today we don't want to be people that's like well we did our thing it's like gosh we're getting closer and closer to seeing the very throne and I want to end strong and I want to I want to be more intimate with you Lord than ever I want us to be closer and and see you more closely as a family I don't want to I don't want to sit back on Wow we've had some great times haven't we and okay now it's my the time for our kids to raise our kids for us you know because sometimes I honestly feel that I'm like oh let the older guys teach my eight-year-old you take them out you you you know I've done this for long enough and it's like no no I'm going after it he's going to be our godliest you know I'm gonna just you know it's it's just it's just you know let's let's go with this thing I'm just saying and God's word I'm not going to back off on it because the world is more against it now no that's why I just recently started preaching again um just because I'm just like you know what this is the time when people need preachers is when you will get canceled and you will be hated I think that was kind of weird to me when it was almost like a popularity thing but now there's no chance of that you preach the word of God you will be canceled and so everyone's a little timid you know to and and says like well then I'm gonna I'm just gonna say it and it's okay I just don't want to be ashamed at the end I don't want Jesus to return and go I'm ashamed of you because you were ashamed of my words he's taught one thing about marriage and morality from the time of Adam and Eve and that's why he's he quotes you know he's genus is here it's like it hasn't changed you know 4 000 years later it hasn't changed now two thousand years later it's not like something weird happened once we hit the year 2000 and and we could change all of this and we have the right and we figured it out that the most depressed suicidal generation in all of history figured it out um it's no it's the word of God and and so man we want to Humble ourselves before the word of God and say Lord I I know I've been influenced by the world and I know I've fought and believed in some of these lies and I've been embarrassed of your word and just admit it before the Lord I mean I met before God I didn't I I didn't like reading Ephesians 5 22 to 24. um because I just thought that's embarrassing people are going to think I'm one of those guys you know and even at weddings when you know they'd ask for this passage I there was just a kind of skim I really would read 22-24 as fast as I could and then go husbands love your wives you know when I would challenge the guy you know because I would just feel the tension in the crowd and now I'm just saying you know what you know what's precious and that sight of that holy God a gentle and quiet spirit in a woman if it matters to you that that's beautiful in his sight go after that and I will tell husbands like you are called to lead your families period and it's it's our responsibility you know and Adam was wrong when he says oh is that woman you gave me and she deceived me it's her fault no I I just kind of I just understood from day one God by his grace that it's always my fault you know I don't I don't mean that in a joking way or whatever but I really look at it that way well it was your lack of leadership that caused this as your lack of humility your lack of prayer I just kind of look at it that way it's like well if I'm bothered by something I didn't lead well you're not bothering something in my kids I didn't lead well I was an exemplary I didn't get Armenians you know there's certain things for sure that uh are not my response I can't make my kids love Jesus okay that is that is up to you Lord but there's there are things that I need to do and real quickly I I saw this illustration years ago in this book called uh instruments and a redeemer's Hands by Paul Tripp and he talks about um these Circles of responsibility and he says there's a circle for you there's a circle for God and sometimes people make their circles so big like I'm responsible for all of this stuff and and that you know certain things belong in God's circle like that's his you can't make them love God and so you got this big old thing here and God's got this little circle but he goes a lot of other people do the opposite and they're like well everything's in God's hands I can't really control that you know the Bible tells us there's a there's responsibility on your part and I always try to keep that in mind because there was a time where when our one daughter was just in a whole nother world than us and just everything out of her mouth was a lie and Lisa was like do you think we failed and at that time I'm like no I'm not going to take that of course there's fabricating in there but that's in God's Circle can't make her love everything I read in this book it's about the holy spirit of God entering into her and that changes everything and we've been the real thing and she's seen that but I can't make the Holy Spirit enter into her but once he does Everything Will Change that's his responsibility and I remember when the spirit did enter into her and it was like oh see this is exactly what I thought would happen and now there's almost a sense of letting go because that's what the Bible teaches I can't make that happen but I get on my knees and say God please you're using me to lead these other people Lord and I can't even make my own daughter fall in love with you there's nothing I can do but just beg for your mercy and your grace but our job is just you know let's hold fast to this word and let's let's become like Christ and he that may not be attractive to the world um to be a servant it's not a lot of movies about servanthood um and humility it's just not where the world's going but followers of Christ and he's beautiful to us and we have a beautiful gentle and lowly God of power and so I'm honored to go okay make me like that Lord and pray that over them God thank you for your word thank you that you are so pure and beautiful thank you that you are the Ancient of Days we want to hold unswervingly to the faith that we profess you say that you are the god of endurance and the god of encouragement and I pray for a spirit of endurance and encouragement over us Lord we would endure to the end we would hold fast to the word cling to you with everything that we have Lord we would believe in the power of of your example you literally set us in examples for us to imitate and follow Jesus we are in awe of your humility and we pray for the grace to be more like you Lord teach us to cry out in the midst of our wrestling anger pain bitterness whatever it is help us Lord to open our mouth and cry out to you and believe that you hear from heaven that you will pour out your grace on us because you desire for us to look like you and to honor you so bless each one here Lord thank you for their stories their backgrounds every part of their life that you know and understand and thank you that you call us to something so high and you can you you literally tell us we can rise above anything and I just thank you for that Lord we believe it and in every any way that we don't help us to confess it and just trust that you will give us more faith to believe and to know what you can do we love you Lord be with us this day let us carry these truths in our heart and meditate on them we pray in Jesus name amen you know one last thing before I sit down um yes come on out it's just uh as Lisa was praying verse came to me um [Music] it's from a sermon not a sermon a wedding I did and as First Corinthians 6 or yeah six or seven um I don't know what version of the Bible I had at that time but basically the question I said you know I just want you to remember these five words from scripture and it's from First Corinthians 6 when they're suing each other and everything else Paul asked the question why not rather be wronged so that's the only phrase I just wanna share at this wedding just believe that word was for them why not rather be wronged the thing as Believers why would you Sue and try to win these arguments that's a great question why not rather be wronged very revealing question why do I have to be right why do I have to win why do I have to prove that I'm right you're wrong if I believe in eternity and I believe that Jesus example is one who took punishment he didn't deserve and be mistreated and spit upon emptied himself made himself nothing and the goal of my life is to become like him why would I rather be wronged why would I rather be the one it's a great question such a heart revealing question and I just want to leave you with that question from scripture what is wrong with me that I always want to prove that I'm right and as Believers Jesus is our example and so he says well why wouldn't you want to lose on this one if you believe in eternity if you believe in Eternal reward if you believe God's watching and you want to be beautiful in his eyes why not rather suffer wrong

Channel: Crazy Love

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Id: 7anCvIvfrgY

Length: 73min 8sec (4388 seconds)

Published: Thu May 18 2023