Maintaining a healthy relationship - do's & don'ts with Benjamin Zulu

[Music] alright guys welcome back to full circle with Joyce we're just getting down to the wire here getting ready for our last discussion for the day this relationship Tuesday and we want to talk about maintaining a healthy relationship the do's and the don'ts this of course is a conversation we're continuing from last week where I'm Curtis one of the guests in the previous segment was one of our panelists then our guests then but now we have Benjamin Zulu to tackle this with us and you know he doesn't hold back so I'm pretty excited for this conversation and just to hear what we talked about today now one of the things we're just gonna jump straight into it Benjamin's you have a lot of questions and little time right is it okay to keep male friends like your male friends if your lady and female friends around you if you're a man when you're in a relationship what are the do's and don'ts around that if you ask me I'll say as long as you're respecting the boundaries you have in a relationship when I started dating my gal I told her not to discard a friend so she a to a male because part of your life involves them now she the motor 109 she let anyone be a you a woman a part ways with all the other men then you are left to be the only ones you tell everything talk to every time and all of that then you start saying she's nagging and yet you turned out not to talk to anybody else you talk to you alone she has a lot of energy so it's okay to maintain friends as long as boundaries are respected but if the friend is interfering with your relationship or the the partner is uncomfortable there's some things they can see maybe that's I'm not okay I think that's a different thing yeah what about when it comes to things like paying the bill okay who now occupy yakitori NJ even them they won't reach and get the bill but see chica well now we're on our own at CEO what are you trying to do you think I can't pay the bill and I so much you know you shouldn't quit it to the bill how do you sort of handle that in a way that doesn't bruise a guy's ego jab imagine what our colony we need to have one big do in a relationship so don't one big do is not I mean one don't is don't take yourself too seriously la was his own saliva a man 11 it's not any time have enough money to pay all they need you have yeah come on even has some money I'm happy that you lifted some weight the other day I was trying to pay fees for my wife and her father paid some money I was so happy I told him you have lifted the weight for me you paid something so when I mean don't take yourself too seriously yeah seasons and lives that sometimes you need to be helped and there does not mean you have been diminished in any way yeah don't take yourself too seriously okay okay Sam could not jump a link in a hamper yes why no miss an asana to cure Lisa you know I okay anything wrong I'm fine call me up oh yeah I'm fine truly I'm do I did you see you Kannamma nothing books I love you lay your phrase I'm fine which is so annoying to a lot of women what is that about that question are you okay is very wide okay they're great then Okinawa Cassidy can ask that way you don't look happy okay frame it in a way that is more specific what cuts value Co general the answer will also be general somebody's ate before you ask me how I am be be ready to take off that is a barbarian is the how yes I'm worried about this I do have this amount of money and all that so I'm saying it's not good for men to block women away by not telling the molecule in one's room I'm not justifying her I'm saying Lana's so when he's ready to talk land mood how about you ask me general siku you know you are talking about something yesterday did you look okay what was going on I'll be more ready maybe to talk okay quick when I'm stressed that's time okay soap yeah it's it's we should also time time and another thing you should also sound like it's not an attack the Indian Nima's wali attack you know so like I do it's not that I'm a combative okay you know I even feel bit little you know Ganesha Dagon unlikely to needles you know Marco Marra Fiesta come here is a camera Viki sure now somebody's aid those who get too married their loved ones are unlocking the world some people did marry on friendship or love Nakajima love relationships don't die for lack of love they die for lack of friendship Weibo let's go trade friendship I know you have a few questions but one thing I wanted to emphasize after I studied at the do's and don'ts and what goes on after I studied man relationship Yakutia Korea lies fun is very important in relationship mm-hmm Lamy to just make fun I enjoy I wake up in the morning and I am joking with my gal I'd tell ah I'm missing you the way I need you to miss is the point Kimiko the other day she saw a face a Facebook page that was asking if your relationship was a movie what I told it would you give it right there two idiots Wow I think a while a buck saying that you planned to get married later in life yeah but some way I got to change it and you did a sunnah asking was it so i sometimes you see that yes Ettie another thing is Noxzema what I realized with myself because naturally like fun and relaxing mrs. Poletti or energy Akua Akua returns of korea marriage and winnable nana village circulating energy is an energy brain deliberately we have to do it we have to do it yeah so make yourself able to be doctor with okay you know what somebody say I was sending his husband I wanted to send you something nice but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox ways to just have that conversation light hearted changes yeah and why are people so sensitive when you joke with him the get offended because they have not resolved issues within them okay okay joke niya no patty Amica silicon because I work on are too many sensitivities yeah some jokes surely may not come out good they may go haywire sure but understand it was meant on a light note and you don't need an apology and that's what you're saying if you know your person if you know your your spouse and your friends you will also know which jokes to make and which ones not easy quick Imola the same okay or will you go Gary nominee amazi ana weon BB Nibbana it should not be like fat yeah it's not very excitedly they are not married okay then you date and remembered I told you even if you are very pretty as an angel Beauty diminishes with exposure tobacco nuclear with zhu-li o catacomb Valley Oak India kitchen near roof over there matamata 10th annual means where so my another way is to cultivate the relationship he can continuous laying him for life he was telling him a few days and he stopped getting sleep but good morning Joyce this is actually on a very serious notes now someone says good morning Joyce as for me I'm pregnant by this man and I'm only 22 years old the guy is 24 and I came to know he's dating high school girls not one but seven how are we leaning on Toto then an ambien need to a member I am at a point of committing suicide because I really love him what should I do that girl so many do's and don'ts right go she's that page I called the age of mistakes 22 is the most frequent age of mistakes in my experience in my clinic on him whenever I talk to girls and they messed up maintains is 21 to 23 and the prime age is 22 because she looks grown body wise but inwardly she still a child your brain finishes maturing at 25 that gosh wooden box me and I will give a session for free instead of thinking about suicide don't kill yourself on that baby you have a life and now surprise attack at 32 should be wondering what did I won't kill myself about again let me tell girls a 24 year old boy is not a man he's still a boy noona is dating many girls he has not known way what he wants who he hears and he's dating high schoolers not just one but seven this kpop of making you pregnant and all those girls because this is a boy grown tall with something far tile that can fertilize you be very careful he's not a money yet he doesn't know where he's great in any case these are this trying can be acted on a comma who you are truly in a queen away back echo nakama cambium to a class 3a what get the hold a message is it child play I taught this kid when I go to compass date is one but ticket is an experiment not seriousness a seriousness okay that gal Zulu Benz I mean after gmail.com don't get lost luck yeah and actually very seriously please do not commit suicide over this not even worth it okay he's not worth it that child God has still given it to you okay so as Benjamin has said please reach out to him your number starts with zero seven zero one ends at 7:01 please do reach out for him he's offered you a free counseling session Facebook Zulu Benjamin yeah so kindly do reach out to him will will see how to connect at the end of the show but of course you can keep your other questions coming in to double to triple nine and you know speaking of that you know this thing of dating multiple partners as we're seeing yeah you caused so much damage and if you're truly mature in your relationship commit to one person yep akuto kappa 'cool a you know jumping all over the place because you have not known yourself and you take a dating more like a it's a game or tourism or some sort of some sort but also jess is a matter of age gonna add genifique an amish about auto which is very knights accommodated you know late sages organza could eat or no matter no tato happy time you're so busy with uh seeing the show can't manage married some people do want to do it but you were too busy choice i have already cut earning acquainted autoplay no you're not a candidate for me you're too busy you can see on TV of the t0 so these kids they play so much weary of time jays are too busy for that game so as you mature your time can't accommodate to that so this kid is dating severe eyes kids when you call this one when you visit everyone here so does it [Laughter] [Laughter] that's it yeah it's more demand on your time nothing no boy is waiting for that Yakko but a boy is a shaven if you're watching music wanna you got Japanese you're good way anyway let's get to some more questions mercy oh girl are you saying you need to talk to the psychologist at a personal level how can you get to him well I just give us your feedback I mean how people can contact you here Zulu because a Zulu Upendra you need to be in that seat every Tuesday as under sauna but hey now Shakuni where a has come back with another question and this time you're asking what is a healthy relationship to begin with alright so here I guess he's saying we're saying do's and don'ts but he's like what actually then makes a healthy let me breathe this joke - first of all bring it somebody say the Facebook should have a limit so many times you change your relationship status when you change more than three times they change by default too unstable to begin with is you are not looking for happiness in our relationship you first of all looked for completeness and happiness in yourself is not given its shared we see a laugh and they told people don't call people my laughs my laugh until you transfer your rate of happiness to them thinking of my lavender when I go up gonna need your love no you need a truck so first of all relationship begins a person who knows who they are where they are going and they know their life goes this a gallows debt in Aleppo semiotic awareness and a green card and America mini gotcha again American the back in a nanny nice yummy Kenya I knew what I wanted I said I'm not American Amanda this is left so I knew myself and we I'm going your life therefore I could find an episode of whom we could be compatible so be give me the know yourself first alright alright well let's talk about another do or don't hear yes which is about airing dirty laundry in public and there's ways some people they've become in your corner they are very suave with how they do it but when you're talking about your issues as a couple or raising something publicly maybe cannot keep you in your household is not going very well right is there any point at which you can actually raise that issue in public or absolutely not Sam Babinec any ends you justify the means yeah good night Agnes I say my mom Bianca privately to my wife if I'm trying to teach a group and that is a very instructive example like can you come and I say many more visit to criticize huh that's very harmful yeah relevant yeah you know they're trying to vent against their partner publicly that's very wrong we have three federal signs of a dying in relationship and one of them is public criticism we have others like oh it's a sign of a dying relationship yes we call them faked or saying you can't these things show that the relationship is dying okay they're gonna call you and stonewalling and all that anymore you only talk your private things if they are useful for teaching but you know the other person is will not be hot that way but if it's for personal solving of conflicts you need to solve them on a private level no Kiran Proximus MIB like ooh kombucha they talk fast and they drink later that's an immature person okay well there's a question here from Carol Alma on Facebook saying hey Joyce so I'm 25 and I can't seem to stay in a relationship for even a month so every time I get into a relationship and the man says we should make love I just lose interest by if a guy wants to have sex with me with no strings attached I feel ok with it Wow what could be wrong with me she asks ok that is a loaded question a quote I saw somewhere and as Emma some people find their soul mate on their first date the past pass on the date as a madenda is you're doing auditions every month oh you knew mom whenever a tienes Emma Akio elationship if she's tries to date and the person say they have sex she's put off no she if they say make love and again this is not something we would even encourage here on the show because of course this is a faith-based show so first of all I need to say we would encourage you to be abstaining until marriage okay this is that was a gift that God gave to married couples so that to me is the first problem there but that aside she's saying that when they say to make love which sounds more I guess like they're more into the feelings of it maybe they actually care about this person there's a bit more of the romance and maybe even love attached to it she doesn't like it but when they say let's just have sex with no strings attached like very casual yeah then she's fine with it yeah I need to introduce this this is a person who's afraid of can you see her review so to have sex in a person she's trying to date is a healthy thing if they are trying to date and the man wants trick sex ahead of the dating that's a hell 15 because she wants to know first of all are you into it or you just want sex can you see that okay she has she has two problems she has a problem that is very distinct is not related to the fact that she wants to have sex men with no strings attached is what we need to talk about and I suppose that she should see especially Simeon see what I see near you a professional to talk about it because I feel a what sick whether sex has anything long-term there are people who think it's as simple as taking a cup of coffee when you dust you when you need glucose you know I think how she has not understood what sex is what I tell women that it's the sacred garden of a woman who is them is the Holy of Holies to your femininity some women don't tell me that if this a lady was saying that if I knew a man would repair tell you better kill me instead of raping me and I was asking that sounds extreme but I could understand it it's to save this woman a jailer from bisexuality is precious to her and when a man when they have sex they just lost more right in sex the money what normally is on a projected Luc a projector is projecting to the wall and the woman is the weight about the recipient of the race so the problem having sex with many men is even when you finally have one trivially you'll have too many to compare him with well the Bible says the bed should be pure it's because when there are too many ghosts men inside of you you never be contented today like Okayama bamas como de luca vagina to catch a sarcasm cobbler to Naruto and John's around when you finally settle treat we do not enjoy it we're comparing without you coming it is the same way this lady needs to process shares a lot of unfinished business she can be afraid of commitment can be afraid of yeah young it's settling ok ok ok hey this is a good talk someone says here on SMS and what Zulu has said is Wow as no and he says here the disc the discussion eco-park ever from machakos you say i guess you were you know just commenting as well tuning in and appreciating the show as well we do appreciate you benjamin very quickly as we wrap up what would be one big do and one big don't as your closing comments one one big do is a-- relationships are like your phone you can only the only function wednesday is connection when they c'not work if there's no connection all you can do is play games you know games don't need internet so people play games when there's no serious connection and they tell i say that maintain connection maintain connection get to know how the Wi-Fi really the password to your partner and when lives when seasons are changing get to know how to maintain that connection with them then they don't is do not take for granted come on ma nomizu KO cafeteria can Apple enjoyed upon a better one even if you transfer to another woman the same restlessness all go with you absolutely Benjamin thank you so much again for being here on this show you may check up ok I feel like my race is betrayed what's that guy's that you appreciate all of your feedback and your comments here on the show our time is up until tomorrow we'll be back here for more full circle with dress from 8:00 to 10:00 a.m. have yourselves a wonderful day we'll see you soon god bless [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Switch TV

Views: 128,613

Rating: 4.9137034 out of 5

Keywords: Switch TV, Switch TV Kenya, Joyce Omondi, Full Circle, Relationships

Id: Q9SFiPr2gyE

Length: 20min 59sec (1259 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 05 2019