Lulu by Metallica and Lou Reed - Worst Album Ever Made?

I am the table I am the table I am the table I am the table hello everyone welcome back to another episode of Worst Album ever made a show where I'm on a quest to find out what is the worst album ever made I hope you have your tables ready because we have finally got to this request that I've been getting since the very Inception of this show the wheel of way has decided it is now time to talk about Lou Reed and Metallica's Lulu Jack Supreme violation Jack Jack Jack I've been now when I freaking say I've been getting these requests I have these right here are all of the requests I've gotten over Lulu over the years I I inbox has been filled with Lulu recommendations ever since back back when when I did the William Hung episode it's been a long time coming to finally get to this point and I'm very glad to say I've listened to it and I cannot wait to share it with you fine beautiful people now usually during this time of the video I would give you all the backstory about who the different artists are but I I I don't think I really have to do that I mean they're so well-known uh artists but if in case you don't know who led is I already did a video uh you can watch over here um about Metal Machine music and Metallica is Metallica uh so go go play the guitar hero game and then come back and and I I'll be here now what a strange combination this is uh like Metallica and L Reed are completely opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to rock music you got Lou Reed who's all folky and art housee and then you have Metallica which is Metallica and then them coming together it it just doesn't sound like it's going to work on paper I mean it's like trying to make a good sandwich out of just ketchup and peanut butter it just doesn't sound like it's going to be good now what led to this very very unlikely combination is Lou Reed and Metallica both were doing a concert together uh at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and one thing led to another they started talking and they were like sure I'll spend the next couple months of my life with ULU Reed let's do it let's collaborate and all of them came together and released this in 2011 to Absolute hatred for example Chuck claer man for Grantland wrote in his review if the redh Hot Chili Peppers acoustically covered the 12 worst Prima songs for Starbucks it would be slightly better than this album here and I think the most crazy one is Julian marzal uh did a review and he said that your time listening to Lulu is better spent watching grass grow it it is terrible reviews and I think the one that is the most poignant and the one that adds a lot more fuel to this fire on whether or not Lulu is bad or not is Pitchfork now Pitchfork is a review site like every other review site just because somebody has a review does not mean that it's automatically bad or automatically good it's subjective um but Pitchfork is one that's very interesting to me and one that I was not expecting from them where they gave Lulu a one out of 10 here are some of the things I reviewed for this show they are currently on screen and these are the current Pitchfork ratings for these albums and you can see that they are rather High they're they're pretty positive like Captain beart in his magic band got a 10 out of 10 now Lulu is a very very interesting name when I first heard about this album I had no idea why they chose a a mannequin with no arms and no legs and I thought it was very very weird looking but also it says Lulu on it I just assume that was like a nickname for Lou Reed but that's not the case at all this is not just any other album This is a concept album when I did some research about the play a whole bunch of this stuff started making sense so actually before we get into the album we now have to ask the question who is Lulu this is this is Lulu right here no arms and all Lulu is a five act play written by Fred wed kind in 1895 now to all my theater nerds in the audience Frank also went on to write Spring Awakening which led to the Broadway musical adaptation of the same name now Lulu is all about the character Lulu a character who uses her beauty to manipulate others into getting her way without any care about those people around them and how that could hurt them here are just some of the characters that you're going to see in this five Act play first you have Dr Gul Lulu's former husband who dies of a heart attack after seeing Lulu with another man then you have the painter Schwarz who becomes so enamored with Lulu's Beauty he decides to marry her uh during this marriage Lulu cheats on him with his close friend Dr Shon now when Schwarz finds out this he's filled with so much dread he decides to take his own life and Lulu is completely uncaring about it next up would be Dr shun uh Lulu and Dr Shon had an affair together Lulu with her husband Schwarz at the time and Shon with his fiance he wanted to call the whole thing off but after shon's death he decides to marry Lulu I would say I wouldn't have made the same Choice during this marriage Lulu meets uh several new people in her life and begins having an affair with aun's son alwa during this time Lulu and her friends humiliate and be little shun to the point he goes crazy and gives Lulu a gun and he begs her to kill herself and in response she shoots Shon dead and kills him in his own house finally alwa alwa and Lulu get married but because of shun's death uh they became blackmailed uh leading to uh Lulu's untimely end to the knife of Jack the Ripper just killed this one dead yes he did so yes that was the story of Lulu and every single bit of it is important in understanding the album because if you do not have this kind of context it is really confusing I have no idea what this freaker was talking about so now that we understand this we can now thoroughly go through the album and really decide if it's worth that one star review from Pitchfork so if you would like Lulu come over here to the desk and we'll start talking about your album first song is called Brandon gate [Music] stay okay I'm back in the chair we're now going to talk about the music of Lulu here it is everybody and once again on this show I am given something that people think is bad and I have to come over here and tell you it's not that bad shocker what is this the the the eighth time this has [Music] [Applause] happened I have been waiting for this freaking album for three years people think oh you listen to metal Machine music oh Lulu is going to be so much worse you're going to hate it oh oh oh listen if you want a real bad album listen to Lulu and this whole time I've been excited I'd place it on the board of Shame if I could but I am here to tell you I do not know why people hate this album but I kind of get it and it's because of this one thing midnight Lou Reed singing voice has not aged particularly well and when you isolate just a small little portion of this album it can sound really bad that's true and I'm I'm willing to say that but you can't just judge an album by one little chunk of music you need to really take in that whole song the intro to this song I love it starts off with the folk guitar that's all 100% Lou Reed then it kicks in where Metallica all comes in at once and basically introduces that theme that this is the collaboration starting the show has started the curtain is rising it's time to watch the Lulu play Brandon Berg gate is is essentially like the opening credits of a movie trying to set you in to the location and the themes and a little bit of our TI character Lulu small town girl but I understand some complaints I think when they repeat smalltown girl over and over again uh it gets to a point where it gets a little bit monotonous but when it comes to one out of 10 and that is what we're going to be really talking about that one out of 10 from pitch for I'm expecting the worst possible sound ever and I'm just not getting it here the next song is called the view now there were a lot of mistakes when it came to Lulu if you wanted Lulu to be a success there are certain things that they probably should have avoided along the way the view is one of those things I Am A Chorus of the voices that gather up the magnets this is a very pivotal song towards the story of the album and in the context text of the album it's fine but for some reason Lulu and Metallica decided to make this song the single and that was not the smart thing to do at all cuz the view is confusing as hell it's not the best sounding song off the Record and the music video which could have set up a lot of the concepts they don't do that at all they are just playing their in instruments in black and white and as a fan I'd be like what the hell is this and I think just because that was the single this thing was going to be dead on a Ral I am the truth the beauty that causes you to cross your sacred boundaries so what is the view about well the view is about this bevent God who uh hates all of humanity this God is just so confused why all of humanity is worshiping this God and praising this God and he's like why are you doing that I hate you and this God's like basically I hate all of humanity except for people who are just like me who actively despise people that worship them now that that's the plot of the song um but that's not what the song is known for not by a long shot Lou Reed's not the only who's singing James Hetfield is also singing back up throughout the song a lot of the lyrics towards the end of the song start going a little crazy and more off the whals but there's some things that James hfield says that make sense when it comes to the plot of the song I am the root I am the view I am the progress like all of these things kind of make sense when you're talking about a hateful God but the one thing that people really latched on I have no idea idea why it would be anyway related to the topic at hand and that's when James Hetfield stands above God and America and he says I am the table I am the table I am the 10 stories I am the table I mean I don't know if if this was my album I think I would have scrapped the I am the table part personally there there's really no reason for it and because they did that this whole album was memd to death uh so many people uh went on and made memes where they would show off I am the table over and over and over again and it's kind of been like a synopsis of the entire album is bad because it's the album where James Hetfield keeps saying I am the table again this was the wrong choice for a single this next track is called pumping blood pumping blood blood blood blood okay this song is going to feature some more sensitive information so I'm going to plug Lulu's ears here so she doesn't have to hear pumping blood is all about the death of Lulu by Jack the Ripper the whole song is a lot more heavy and I think it sounds super sick with Lulu's death by Jack the Ripper uh one of the more interesting lyrics of the song is it's repeated a lot but in the end it was an in ordinary heart meaning that even though that L even though Lulu was so evil and such a bad person in the end she was human just like all of us more blood and it seeps through my skin will you adore the river the stream the TR trickle the tributary of my heart it's trying in a way to humanize a monster very interesting that they went with that for the third song I think this could be something we could have led up to uh towards Lulu's demise at the end it's almost like this whole album is now taking place in a flashback on what led to that moment now even if I think the sound and even the setup in the story is really good for a pump and blood there are some some some interesting choices with the lyrics L read did they use a lot of words like colored and uh wiggle my ass like a dark prostitute and even if this was set in that time frame there's no real reason in 2011 that we needed to do that if I waggle my ass like a do prostitute you think less of me anyway that's pumping blood next song is called mistress dread [Music] mistress dread is another very high paced high octane song all about Lulu and one of her victims and this victim I think is uh Mr Schwarz this song really goes into the psychology of Lulu and how she plays on men like Poison Ivy from Batman her beauty her aore it hypnotizes them into doing things they normally wouldn't do you are my goon and I am you switch perspectives from Lulu's perspective uh to the victim's perspective now this is the fourth song off the album and it is something that I'm just like okay I get it I mean Lou Reed's singing voice is not the best but he still giving a a a wonderful delivery It's haunting his his speech is scary and because he's an older gentleman it's almost like he's retelling the tale of Lulu and I think it really works for something like mistress dread and it's not typical it's not normal but but it's interesting his the way he's doing this whole thing and as far as it being more productive to watch as grow I highly disagree next song is called iced honey this is what I think should have been the only single from the album it's a lot more [Music] digestible no matter who you are eyes tuny is another song that's kind of talking about the psyche of Lulu um and with it it is it's sounds like an uplifting song but it's a it's a song that's kind of about the struggle of being Lulu in a way she can't really understand human emotions and she's almost like a contradiction first you have the the sweet side which is her allore her beauty her grace and everything about her draws people in with Lulu her her soul is so uncaring she doesn't care about anyone else and and that's where the ice part comes in it's a sweet treat you can't enjoy because it is covered by a layer of ice ice will [Music] you next song is called cheat on me I'm not trying to make an argument that Lulu is one of the greatest albums ever it should be put on the highest imp pedestals everyone's wrong for thinking that it's bad I'm not really saying that here in this video I'm not trying to put that into this to the conversation but what I am trying to say is how in the world is this only a one star pitchfork [Music] I don't know I don't know the the strings and the the sense at the beginning of this song is enough enough for me to give it at least two stars this song does wonders for the Lulu character because it's all about Lulu doing some self-reflecting um she's not talking about like a lover go off off and cheat on me or one of her lovers uh begging Lulu to cheat on me that's not it it's about she why does she self sabotage herself every step of the way why can't she just be happy with the men she's with she doesn't know um and she she knows she can't help but cheat on these people cuz she's never satisfied why do I cheat on me why come on why do cheat on me I think she's hurt by this I think she feels bad but she will just keep doing it and keep doing it until she's in the ground I I think it's a highlight the song's 11 minutes and it doesn't feel like it which for me is always a good sign of quality that I can just sit back and and just enjoy what's going on the next song is all all about telling one of the tales of Lulu itself and that song is called [Applause] [Music] frustration now the song frustration could be heavily inspired by act one of Lulu where Lulu's husband dies of a heart attack after seeing Lulu have an affair with him with the painter Schwarz it talks about how his blood rushes up his legs blood goes up to his nose and and that could be the moment where he's having the heart attack and the whole thing's just going off in his mind in a moment and there's references to painting in there so it makes sense it would be Schwarz but it could be about a random person inspired by the Lulu play I feel a pain creep up my leg blood runs from my nose I PE my guts out at your feet you're more man than I the main victim in this song is witnessing Lulu cheat on him and he is extremely frustrated with his emotions here because he's betrayed he's humiliated he is so angry at her but he loves her so much that he gets down on his knees and begs and pleads for Lulu to marry him this man feels so emasculated that he calls himself spermless like a girl and he thinks that the man uh that Lulu cheated on him with is more man than him and Lulu is more man than him and it is a it is a weird thing going on there Me Marry Me Marry Me I want you as a wife SP was like a girl he says I want to hurt you I want to hurt you I want to hurt you I need you as my wife and it's scary it it is scary levels of manipulation and gaslighting like the brain like shutting down almost just completely breaking down at what Lulu has done to him it it it's very uncomfortable next up is the most haunting song of Lulu for sure This song is called little dog woof [Music] woof a little man follows his nose Okay so with the precursor song being frustration you can think of the song as the aftermath of what happens after that or you can think about how I do and this is the part of the play where Lulu is married to Dr Shon and Lulu is having an fair with his own son alwa and Shon starts going mad and the little dog is him and the big dog that is constantly talked about is alwa Shon being left outside while they are actively like having sex in his own house and he's just he doesn't want to say anything he doesn't want to be rude and he doesn't want to disrespect Lulu even though she's actively disres respecting him I I'll wait it's okay it it'll be fine I'm I'm sure I'm sure I'll get my way eventually oh money can do anything tell me what it is you want just tell me what it is you want coming up while you're down it's disturbing it makes me want to take a bath afterwards it it it is such a terrible situation uh about just like losing your own sanity and your own Humanity just because a person is just treating you like dirt and becoming that dirt that's true horror to me now this is not the last song uh coming up but it is the finale to the Lulu story it seems and that song is called dragon poor beautiful [Music] creature dragon is the companion piece to the view from what I can tell what it seems like from what I can hear Lulu becomes one with this uncaring creature or this this uncaring creature the whole time has been Lulu and Lulu is this benevolent God who comes down to earth just to torment people for its own Amusement I'm doomed I'm swearing waiting for you your high heel and night your dressing but the thing that really ties into Lulu getting this Godlike status is in the view this bevent God was so interested in why PE Humanity would looked up to them and worshiped them even though they didn't really care about the people and on earth that is now correlated with people loving Lulu and doing everything for Lulu and she herself does not care about them because of everyone's Fascination and and affection towards her she is now on the same status of a Godly symbol and so yeah that's the end of the Lulu story there's one song after this but I I think it was a really good concept for this album and I and I think it it was very interesting it a very interesting way of going about doing these songs all about One Central character but I think it would have been more effective if you had pump and blood like right before dra uh dragon really show Lulu's progression to getting to this point I think uh would have been a little more successful but I think the placement of the view in Dragon is perfect I think dragon is a good way to end the whole story all right we have finally made it to the final song of Lulu everybody and that song is called Junior dad Junior dad is by far the longest song off this whole album clocking in at 19 minutes and 28 seconds and the song seems to be entirely about Lou Reed's [Music] father the name Junior dad it comes from a lyric where this man on his death breed is calling himself Junior dad I have two theories in what that means to be a junior dad first one I have is when his father died he had to grow up age withered him and changed him until he had to become a father but he's still that same kid inside and that kid never really left and that's how he's Junior dad but what I think it actually is and it's a little more sad he was a regular functioning man but age withered him and changed him to the point where he is useless again he he's on that deathbed and he can't do anything some someone else has to clean him someone else to change him uh cuz he's in that in that hospital bed and he can't really move because he's so old to the point where he's reverting back to when he had to have that same thing done to him as a child as a baby baby and that's how he became the greatest disappointment by digressing the way he had to in order to die that's what I think it is I hope it's not uh CU that would be very sad I will teach you meanness fear and blindness no social redeeming kindness or oh state of grace while recording this song um uh James Hetfield actually had to leave the studio for a bit because while they were playing um he started crying because he was thinking about his own father and how his father recently died and they all had to stop playing because they got too emotional during the song now while I think the song is very sweet I do think it's way too long um it the this song didn't be 19 minutes because it just kind of repeats repeats it sounds fine it sounds sweet it's it's something nice you can have on in the background but it's way too long for the song uh and I don't think it's nearly as effective because it just kind of keeps going on and on and on when you've expected it to already be over um but that's more of a nitpick than anything it doesn't make the song worse it's just I'm probably going to stop the song before over because I've already listened to the main stuff before it just starts repeating back on itself and so yeah that ow ow ow she stepped on my freaking foot all right now it's time to ask the question honey lump does your album belong on the board of Shame here no it doesn't I know I've said this I've ran this point to the freaking ground today but this album does not deserve a one out of 10 and I think it's time we give Lulu her flowers it's a very very interesting concept for an album and I think they really come together and make something really interesting and I like how Lou Reed and Metallica really feed off each other's creativity and I think it was just something that Metallica fans were just not really into but the Lou Lou Reed fans I'm sure loved this thing anyway Lulu you have some questionable morals about you but I can't say that your album was bad thank you so much for uh watching Everybody the another episode of Worst Album ever made thank you so much I'm sorry uh it took a little while but here it is and I hope you enjoyed it if you didn't enjoy it you can tell me in the comments do do what you want it's a free country if anyone would like to support me I do have a patreon you can see that link below as well as a link to my podcast with my buddy Trenton where we have a podcast called I'll give you an hour and yeah I'm going to go run in some [Music] traffic I love the I love the I [Music] love I [Music] love I love the I love the hello everyone my son is insane all right it's now time for me to really let the cat out of the bag and just let you know something this is a mannequin

Channel: Cactus Malpractice

Views: 24,529

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Id: 0WmINzWSyj8

Length: 33min 41sec (2021 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 18 2023