Long Lost Family (UK) S09E06

[Music] can you find my son it made the world it's been like an obsession for twenty years it's been an obsession in the last year over 4,000 people from across the UK have contacted the long-lost family team do you know what her full name would be asking us to find their missing family what's right so many times to my brother there's this one this one this one they took my sisters I just want to know what happened to them I need to meet my birth father he is part of who I am using trained intermediaries DNA experts and investigators all over the world we find people that nobody else could trace we uncover incredible family secrets thanks only she was there to us meeting the famous person who happens to be her sister I can't even begin to describe what that actually feels like and answer questions that have haunted entire lives I knew that was gonna be twists and turns Act I said it this week to people searching for their birth mothers a man who struggled ever since he found out he was adopted I always questioned what was wrong with me why did it happen and a woman whose whole world is on hold I want to get married to this most amazing man and I can't until I find her [Music] while some people have been adopted come to terms with it many like our first searcher have been living under the shadow of their adoption their entire lives I don't think unless you've been adopted unless you've been through the years and years and everyday of questioning who you are where you've come from feelings of regret you never you would never ever understand that you'd never understand what that feels like [Music] thirty-four-year-old recruitment consultant Martin Smith lives in Rochdale close to where he grew up with his adoptive mum Margaret and dad David I was adopted of young gage the way my mum always put it was that you were chosen and we really wanted you and they did do I never went without you know the even paid for me to go to private school in Manchester because they thought that it wanted to give me the best possible chance in life Martin started at this school at the age of 11 it's not changed actually it's not changed one bit it was here that the fact that he was adopted first hit home one day the class was looking at baby photos of each other and there wasn't any of me like the first photo I have really is that kind of almost three years old and it's the other kids going well where's your baby photo and that's the strongest memory that I have of the realization that adoption is different to other people unless I to really struggle with that then I was a lost child really at this point in my life lost kid for a number of years I'd struggled with the fact that I was adopted you know what was wrong with me why did it happen and I just pushed everything away every everything there was there was no whole bar at the age of 17 without any explanation to his parents Martin packed his bags and left home I didn't speak to my parents for nearly two years as opposed to a certain extent I was taking control of something I couldn't control although I went at by completely the wrong way it broke my heart I will drink you and you were divided McColl's and I would leave your messages all the time saying just let me know your RI this is the first time that Martin has spoken to his parents about his struggle I regret everything that I did it's just what I felt when you left I I did think it was smelted you were we overprotective in my head it was that I was rejected as a child I couldn't get past that I'd always told you I'd support you and I told you I had got all the information about who your best mother was but you never came and you never asked a chicken and egg thing though wasn't it you don't know what you're gonna find I did to a certain extent I didn't want to know you you push it away you push away the premise of finding out because you don't want you don't want your heart broken we heard think well in my own head yeah it was but if you just told me I forgot to probably have help in what way you can't shake you can't change the fact of adoption you can't change that and I would never have changed the family that adopted me in any way shape or form I wouldn't have changed you guys at all as adopted you feel rejected yeah okay you know what was wrong with me I'm glad you doing what you're doing now I'm glad you doing it it's only now with the encouragement of his parents and his wife Laura that Martin has dared to try and find out any more about his birth mother he's so lovely but at the same time there's always the underlying issue that he sought rejected for 34 years he just wants to know where he comes from why did she give him up by doing this because that seems to be the common thing is that people just bury their feelings so it's nicer you talk about that's what you do though isn't it you do bury your feelings you do always question Who am I and the only way you're gonna answer those questions is by meeting mum [Music] to have any hope of finding someone what was your mom's maiden name our team needs a certain amount of information to get started and to have any dates of birth when we took on Martin's search for his mother we thought it would be reasonably simple as we had both a name and date of birth from his adoption paperwork yet despite an intensive search we couldn't find any record of her after his adoption so what had happened to her having exhausted all avenues we decided to go back a generation and search for Martin's grandmother we find a record for her at an address in the southwest of England but she was no longer there however someone there did tell us that Martin's grandmother had moved to a city on the south coast to be closer to her daughter we decided to search the city for anyone with the same date of birth as Martin's mom and by cross-checking electoral rolls we discovered someone who despite having a different name at the correct date of birth [Music] we got in touch and she confirmed she was Martin's birth mom Martin spent the years refusing to ask questions about his adoption because he was scared of what he might discover but now he's faced his fears and dared to look for his birth mother will she be able to give him the answers that he needs I've arranged to meet Martin's birth mum at a cafe close to where she lives she's happy to talk to me but wants to remain anonymous it was difficult to find you different region different name yep why is it a different name because when I gave up Martin I shut myself off from everybody moved away how old were you 15 going on 16 I hid the pregnancy for a little while I knew I was pregnant I was frightened to tell anybody because I thought the first thing they're going to do is take the baby away from me I couldn't let that happen so I walked out the door and left with Martin I was living on the streets begging people to let me stay and all this time trying to make sure that Martin was safe warm fed how long were you with Martin how long was he with you six months seven months I had him before before it to give him up for adoption it was going into the winter getting colder it was literally begging people for money I'd know where to sterilize bottles so I had nothing you know I could get better get nappy some days it was terrifying and that's awful to do that your child to feel that inadequate it was about surviving every day and that just got tougher and tougher until I made the call and that was all I could do if I could have done anything else to keep him I would have done but there wasn't an option I met with the social worker and she said look we've got foster carers that could take part in my sister that I went to see who they were I think that make you feel better yeah because I knew he was safe and he was looked after and he was fed and he was warm but I can't tell you what it's like her to walk away watching your child go into a different direction it literally rips your heart out how has it been over the years I've had to try and deal with guilt blame that wasn't good enough and I couldn't look after him it has a massive effect on your life he's my son and I think about it all the time and now this day's come yeah I've got a photograph Oh he's so beautiful Oh to hug him because the last time I hugged him he was so tiny before we tell Martin we found his birth mother we take on another search it's on behalf of a woman desperate to find her birth mother says she can begin the rest of her life 53 year old and Jordan is shopping for an engagement ring with her fiance Chris he's a really special man and I've waited a long time to meet somebody like that he has changed my life and made me a better person best thing to do is to get them on your finger and actually see what they look like you engaged two years now but I just feel I can't get married yet everyone has their moms that they were doing don't they and I wouldn't I want to get married to this most amazing man and I can't until I find her so oh sorry and grew up in Surrey the adopted daughter of Barbara and Ronald Jordan my adoptive parents were just really special they told me I was adopted when I was about seven or eight doesn't really give it a second thought to be honest with you I'd always felt laughed and wanted and I just feel a little bit cheated that they went so so early when Ann was 22 both her adoptive parents died lost my mum first she basically had a heart attack and just dropped down dead so I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye and then sadly six months later I found my dog dead in bed they say you died of a broken heart and I believe that it was a really difficult time I dig off the rails because they were my rock my stability really as I felt really angry for how dare they leave me and I've never felt so allowed even now as an adult I never give anybody a hundred percent because it feels like people either pass away or they go but that made me want my birth month I've never needed somebody so much and searched for her mother started by looking at her own birth certificate was born 19th of June 1965 instant Stephen's Hospital in Chelsea but the one amazing thing on here is that she called me her name so my original name was Jean Worley and I think that's quite special really she's now spent over half her life trying to trace her mum Jean Galli but without success tried to find a birth certificate for her and there was nothing in this country I did Salvation Army Private Investigators no one could find anything at one point when I got so desperate trying to find her that I found most of the Gauri's in the phonebook but no one could help but with her recent engagement and need to find her birth mum is more urgent than ever you imagined my wedding here but I want to look behind me and see my mum sitting in the front of the church there looking proud until she finds her mum and has put her wedding plans on hold I just feel I can't get married until I've tried everything in my power to try and find her [Music] least to go rounded more two years ago and Jordan proposed to her partner Chris I need a step stool that's going about six inches but the couple have held off setting a date for their big day as Anne wants her birth mother to be with her it smells really nice in his car I want to get married and I can't until I find her [Music] from her research and was able to give us two vital pieces of information her mother jeans name and date of birth so why hadn't and been able to find any trace of them like and we couldn't locate a birth record for Jean Gourley but we did find one for Jean gates who had the same date of birth as Anne's birth mother this woman had been born illegitimately to a father called Gourley for over 30 years and have been using the wrong surname in her search now at last we had a record for hands birth with genes correct name we were able to troll records to trace her but then we discovered that tragically gene had died in 1975 aged just 31 it's going to be such a shock for Ann to find out that the mother she's been looking for all these years died when I was still a child however we also discovered that just a year after giving a not for adoption gene had married and then had another daughter called Florence so Ann has a younger sister we tracked Florence down to Northern Ireland where she moved with a father following the death of her MA she agreed to meet me at her home just outside Belfast Jean passed away more than 40 years ago so did Florence know that her mother had a daughter before her and will she embrace becoming part of her sister's life [Music] Florence has been with her husband for 35 years and has a grown-up daughter [Music] thanks very much for having me lovely thank you for the team you're at Florence off low just below place right Flo so how do you feel about that I'm actually quite nervous did you have any idea at all that she was out there no totally totally no idea because my mum died when I was a child so I presumed there was just me so I was just shocked Ann's been searching for her birth mother for over 30 years is a long long time it is considering that she's been dead all this time mm-hmm she died a cancer when I was seven and a half was very very quick I remember going to visit her in all spell and then she was gone that was it that was very very quick 15 just you when you don't have a mum it's not the same it makes you grow up instantly and you have to look after yourself to me it was like she left me and I was angry yeah sorry you felt abandoned I did yeah very lonely when she left I I can't forge relationships get close to people I didn't run anyone coming up near me or anything the world stopped there's something of a parallel I think possibly with an in that she had a really happy adoption the wonderful parents but they both died when she was 22 so she too felt abandoned yeah and that's very sad for us because she's lost her mom or dad in her birth mom do you think your father knew about he would never I think you would have said something you're gonna cap that to himself cuz if I ever made I would have wanted to find her you know you wouldn't just laughter right there Oh a lot of time you did find her brought her back to the family do you have a picture you know yesterday she looks like a very kind woman I actually like this one that's my favorite one she actually wrote on the back of that one - my darling John your wife baby daughter it's actually very sad she never got to meet her and I think it would have been good if my mom was here but she would have got to meet her here's the thing Ann's been in a relationship with the love of her life planning on getting married she has been holding off the date of the wedding because she wants to find her birth mom because she wants somebody to be on her side of the church should have us hmm what mine seen a picture offer if you had one do you have one yeah damn of course I did I'd like to see that oh my goodness she reminds me of me I just wished what a memory years ago they looked right for each other why she wouldn't known you know I really wanted to meet her I want to get to know her [Music] you Martin Smith has always wanted to know why he was given up for adoption Martin hi it's Davina how you doing I'm on my way to meet Martin because now at last we have news for him million one things are going through my mind now no idea what she's gonna tell me when you've spent your life assuming that you were rejected as martin has it must be very hard to change those perceptions of yourself but now that Martin's mom has been found I can tell him just how hard she fought to keep him so will he be able to let go of those feelings of rejection at last well you said you wanted to find out right there do you want so far not [Music] hey Angie come in and thank you thanks very much thanks so much for seeing me I'd like to talk to you a little bit about when you found out that you were adopted can you talk me through what happened I'd been told previously about it adoption but you don't kind of understand what that actually means you just assumed that you same as everybody else but the youngest prototype of me least like kind of two years old so it was obvious that something else had gone on so you've never seen one of you as a baby no would you like to yeah Martin this is you a little baby oh wow how old am i that I don't know but I mean you look weeks to me wow that's amazing where'd you think we got natural for my mom does that mean a lot yeah he does cuz I mean she doesn't stop thinking about me oh she never stop thank you you've been doing it up at 16 she left home and she'd had you she did look after you for six or seven months but she ended up on the streets basically she was sleeping in a park she said very hard she was begging for money she was struggling to feed you and she just woke up one morning and just thought I can't keep doing this that's horrible that she should ever be put in that situation my beautiful son Martin I want you to know how much you are loved by me I never wanted to let you go it was a hard decision I've ever had to make I've lived with regret ever since it broke my heart the only thing that got me through was that you were safe warm and loved I failed you as a mother I hope we can meet I need to tell you that I am so very grateful you came looking that's really good to read sat at the same time although she didn't do bad by me at all you know I'll never regret my childhood Emma growing up for my family it's all on and I know love them to bits what it's just sad that somebody has to hurt from it I guess this is where the healing begins for everyone what this is your mom ah I see smoothly you know I've spent most of my life wondering what she looks like I start that is amazing to see thank you so much [Music] [Music] they found her oh please well that's the best outcome happy really happy really really really happened [Music] [Music] today's the first day I mean I lay awake last night you know is this actually happening is this even real yeah it's just a feeling like it's so close but I still feel so far away he's excited but I think he's nervous cuz he doesn't know how she's gonna feel or where the relationship is gonna go it has affected him a lot you know he does struggle with family things cuz he doesn't know where he comes from and the history behind his family I can't wait to meet her in my own head I've always had feelings of rejection and I just feel like that can change now everything that she did as hard as it was Paige did it for the right reasons and I want to tell her that Martin is going to meet his mother at a hotel close to where he lives what you even say now I get to meet her what else matters his mother wants to remain anonymous but is happy for us to follow Martin's journey [Music] okay oh my God look at you even better the picture he's so good told you it's like going home to the home that you didn't know you had I just want you to know that you were never not wanted there just wasn't anything if I had have been I would have took it if those away to have kept you or would have done it just peel like hadn't never not known that this was your hat when you first came out of hospital I've never had anything from you know they wouldn't let me give you anything when he walked around the corner that's my son and my heart just felt like it was gonna burst did want to let him go meeting her answered Who I am I'll never ever own those feelings of rejection again and now I just feel åkesson you began for everyone [Music] I'm on my way to see Anne Jordan who's been looking for her birth mom Jean for over three decades it's so sad to think that all those years and was searching for her mother Jean had already died but now that we've found Anne sister Flo who also missed out on having her mother in her life I wonder if that shared loss will bring them together [Music] we've already told on the news about her mum but I'm still to tell her that she has a sister Flo thank you so much for seeing me because I know that he had a lot to deal with to be honest I feel even more lost because I sort of hopes that it would be good news it's just so tragic that she's not around that she dies so young that's I feel it's really strange I need to grieve over that a bit yeah yeah we have found somebody who your mum the little girl two years after you called Flo did you know about did she know about me the problem was that your mum died when she was seven so she didn't know about you there's no no one really knows about me that's quite odd I think the really hard thing is that you'll never know what your mum was thinking no and you'll have to piece it together I guess from what your sister can tell you about the kind of woman that she was do picture of my mum so happy toughness it does feel comfort because that's the thing I keep saying over again I need a picture here I've got another one nose and hair inflate God so I would like to give you lots more just she won't see me yes really must have been hell for her because she's grown up without a mom too so she can understand what it feels like there are a lot of similarities between the two he really yeah I want to show you a picture of life because I think it will all make sense when you see her oh my gosh she's stunning she's fabulous oh wow but I can absolutely see a resemblance between the two of you oh my god that's my sister I'm so grateful for this because I thought her I was never gonna get over this I was just felt devastated but having a sister is amazing I we can be a good comfort for each other they can walk down the aisle that would be so nice for than it [Music] a few days after discovering she has a sister and traveled to London to meet Flo thinking about my mom today and I almost feel guilty for feeling happy about meeting my sister but I'd like to think that actually she's smiling and it's okay I just hope it's everything I'm hoping it's going to be [Music] this is the first time Flo has been back to London since she lived here as a young child with their mother I'm feeling very cheerful of demenna my mommy has been at the front of my head from I woke up this morning things I haven't thought about since I was tiny like I remember being she took me 8 with my dad to buy me a coat and I remember it was a little red coat I think that's possibly the last thing she bought me I wish she was here the sisters are meeting at a pub in Chelsea close to where Anne was born know that honest here I think it will be easier for me because it actually makes me feel that there's a part of my mum there which to me is it's a shock but it's also a good thing [Music] so we're getting pretty close now are you feeling nervous and excited all at the same time what's your gonna say what's what like what do you want to talk about everything I must think I get so excited I want to say 300 things all at once I just want to feel connected but also I need to take it slow I'm getting a bit of ahead of myself yeah planning the future and that's what is that what you want a future yeah so this is where I'm gonna say goodbye thank you your sisters in there [Music] [Music] thank you sister got the same eyes it's just what it was for you cuz you never knew about me to change every and never knew so glad you found me I really am you've no idea they're feeling yeah yeah I'm I just when I got the news I was really devastated yeah but then to be told I had a sister I could not believe it could not believe it so wish I'd known you years ago did you know that might have been amazing it would have been cuz it sounds like you've had things quite tough yeah I have that was very lonely growing up very lonely you were so young when she died I just find that really sad do you remember mom at all um I remember some things yes but I haven't got lots and lots of memories I'm honest no I remember being told when she passed you remember that clear I ran up the stairs and hid in the bathroom forgot that and everything changed it makes me really sad because she only had mum for seven years and I know I was given up at birth but I've had a really stable childhoods and it sounds like she hasn't but I think together we can give each other comfort and support is there anybody on one side that you still say nobody listen nobody is there anybody alive I don't know you don't know I lost contact with everybody I'd love to be able to say answers for you I don't northern you've got me now yeah same here meet nan has definitely made me feel closer to my mum I've got some photographs to show you I'd love to see them [Music] after all these years seeing someone that has the same features as you and your mom was very comforting for me because I know my mom's in there yeah we're a world part of the same person I have not shaved up today's four years dream in years no you have her cheekbones I can't get over it so I yeah we've got the same eyes same dim pause I look like her and that's amazing to actually look like someone I'm actually thrilled to have a sister my knee really thrilled we're hoping to get married soon yes and now that I found the a I really would like if he want me down the aisle really horse don't want to be around to be lonely anymore I want us to have someone to talk to and rely on she's amazing she's so amazing I just adore her [Music] next time in a brand-new series of long-lost family what's happened next we catch up with a woman whose lifelong search for her birth mother leads to an incredible revelation finding mom has been amazing but for her it's being the start of a new search and a daughter returns with her birth mother to the orphanage where they parted nearly 30 years ago I am sure she never imagined that she would step foot in that place again let alone with her daughter that she said goodbye to you there [Music] you

Channel: Cinelic

Views: 707,193

Keywords: 23andme, abandoned, adopt, ancestry, birth parents, children given up, davina mccall, documentary, family reunion, family search, full documentaries, full documentary, full episode, heritage, genetic, long lost family, long lost family uk, 2019, long lsot family, lost family, mini documentaries, mini documentary, dna, reality show, reunion, separated at birth, short documentaries, biological, show, watch online, documentary 2019, documentaries, long lost family s09e06, finding family

Id: 2qpDns4q3pU

Length: 42min 34sec (2554 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 14 2019