Livesplaining 039: Near-Death Experiences + Q&A

all right this is Father Gregory Pine that's Father Joseph Anthony and welcome to God's planning brought to you by Simon Garfunkel and Jesus Christ so thanks to all those who support us if you enjoy the show please consider making a monthly donation on patreon be sure to like And subscribe to God's plan wherever you listen to your podcasts um Joe's Father Joseph Anthony uh you are in the midst of finals week at the University of Virginia University how would you say your students are doing how would you say you are doing how would you say anyone else whom you would like to update me on is uh yeah I think we're doing all right uh we're surviving we're getting through it there's uh the beauty of finals week which is uh you know it's the end of the year end of the semester so there's a lot of um feels happening lots of feels happening right now okay so you got you got the stress anxiety of finals which a lot of lessons are freaking out about and you know probably right at least so and then you have the stress anxiety of moving on and starting a whole new life for our graduating students and so they see the terror of oh wait I gotta go into a whole new other phase of my life and I don't know how to shut this down maybe I don't want to shut it down but it's still happening so then how do I transition and move into New Life um so that's that's fun how do I say goodbye um you know that's that's the whole thing um and then some people are just super excited for the summer one of the things that's super interesting that I found here at the University of Virginia there's a huge emphasis on internships so here at the University of Virginia there's not a lot of students that hang around Charlottesville for the summer because they go off and get internships and even in the liberal arts and things like that like there's a big push to get internships so there's a lot of students are getting ready for internships I'm getting ready to breathe a little bit and get through get through the semester and be able to take a breath uh which will be nice um and it's summer and it's beautiful in Charlottesville so I'm excited for all of that and get some golfing in that I have not yet been able to do all semester I think I've been out golfing like twice a semester which hurts my soul to say so hopefully you can pick that up over the summer um yeah I think yeah and we're starting a capital campaign right now so there's a lot of uh you know a lot of activity in that which is super exciting because been talking about it for years now that's actually happening I'm pumped to be able to move into that phase of things so uh yeah there's a lot going on um which is good which is real good that's awesome that like pleases me to no end so I get pumped hearing you being pumped um okay on my side of the pond the proverbial Atlantic Ocean Pond um I received my assignment so I'll be teaching at the Dominican House Of Studies known to those intimate with the scene as the Dominican House of buddies and by that I mean I'm the only one who calls it that um and then I'll be working at go ahead I call I call it that but I always footnote you on it because I got that phrase from you the house of buddies is a real thing everybody spread it yeah spread it I believe it was never mind here we go so and then I'll be working for the domestic Institute as an assistant director which would be great so latherines repeat the old ministerial latherines repeat um this past week I had the Dominican sisters uh of Saint Cecilia congregation the Nashville Dominican sisters who were assigned in the Netherlands down for a visit in Switzerland and it was awesome we lined up some some talks with some young people and the sisters crushed it and they were just such a joy so I was very renewed and refreshed by that encounter and then devastated when they left um but then two of their students actually came down students that they serve at the University of Maastricht and so I got to kick it with them this weekend and I got to the top of a mountain for the first time in a long time because when the snow starts accumulating it gets super difficult to get to the top of anything because the risk of death is Keen acute significant I'll get to my word eventually all right so speaking of death which is the um which is the kind of light-hearted theme of the opening Gambit of this live explaining uh have you had any near-death experiences or things which might uh humorously be called near-death experiences with respect to those or with due respect to esteem for those who have suffered the real deal um I think the closest thing that I've been I've been lucky in my life to to not have any extremely close calls but the the closest I come from to one of those near-death experiences one was when I was a child so when we were growing up we were lucky enough we had a backyard pool which was exciting and great and everybody every kid wants to have a pool like in their backyard and we're lucky enough to have one and I remember I'm I'm the youngest at three I have two older sisters and one of my sisters was having a bunch of her friends over because it was a pool party whatever at this point I was probably you know seven six seven years old and I thought you know Now's the Time to uh show off my my Cannonball skills that's the time to do it right like you got a big audience uh everybody's excited having fun and I have a skill set that other people need to know about so I said Now's the Time to to put this on full display so I run over to the side and I jump into the uh to the deep end which I didn't realize in our pool is not actually that deep it was like five foot deep at the bottom end of it so cannonballed my little seven-year-old body into the pool and then I popped up and as I was coming up out of the water I came up underneath of a raft and as I came up under the raft um one of my friends or one of my sister's friends was actually on the raft so there was you know a teenager on the raft and I come up and like popped it and then it was like oh wait I actually can't like just push this out of the way and then I had that like Terror moment it's like oh I don't actually know how to get out of this like eyes open lungs full of water like this is how this goes right like I'm punching the bottom of it like somebody is finally after what seemed to be you know eternity because you start going through things in slow motion whoever was on the raft felt my little seven-year-old fist punching from up underneath I'm not sure if they thought it was a Loch Ness monster or what but it was me and they finally rolled off the raft and moved out of the way and I came up gasping for air and I was like I was so close to that that being the way I go like that would be a horrible way to go uh but figured it out that was the closest I've been and then you heard a voice that said Ryan I want you to become a priest in the province of Saint Joseph and then you offered your vocation on the altar of that pool yes exactly in on the waters I started walking on the waters I said forget this five foot deep end I'm just gonna walk on the waves I started singing uh hillsong's oceans before like you know a decade and a half before that was a song you heard it here first folks you heard it here first um yeah so in my own life I have I so I would say that my Prudence is questionable and I would like to say that that's something that applies to earlier years that I have since distanced myself but in fact it's a permanent feature um so I would say like one out of every three times that I go hiking I find myself in a difficult situation uh I will not describe all of them lest any of our superiors be listening to this or my father who would justly be terrified at the Revelation um so one time when I was 19 I went hiking with a friend of ours named Bobby Hogan we did like a four day or five day circuit in the presidential range in New Hampshire first day was fine we just like whatever dropped our car off and then hitchhiked to the trailhead the guy who actually gave us a ride recounted to us that there is a reckless hiker law in the state of New Hampshire and like pity the fools who would cost the like fish and game service any unnecessary expenses for like a search and rescue effort because those suckers would be made to pay so we laughed we scoffed at the fools who could do such foolish things and then we proceeded on our way first they went fine second they went fine third day was okay but then we were trying to find our little Appalachian Trail Hut at the end of the third day and we picked a way by which to descend which was kind of treacherous because it was May there were still a ton of snow we didn't have snowshoes so we were post holeing which is like when your feet punched through and after one of these aforementioned postals actually right before we we come to the crucial moment I want to say that my more prudent friend Bobby turned to me and said I think we should turn around and I said quote in these words I would say they would haunt me till my dying day except they don't haunt me so much as humor me I said quote nah dude I'm feeling good about it so [Laughter] um I've never admitted to an emotional experience since then um yeah but shortly thereafter I looked down and one of my shoes was gone so the the trauma of post hauling had been so upsetting from my one shoe that it just gave up on the effort and it just remained deep buried deep beneath the surface and um so we rooted around for a while tried to look for it couldn't come up with it and uh my friend very justly upset with me said that it'll be best if we just camp that night and then make a decision the next morning we did and we did and we decided to try to hike out for another two hours and if we would come up empty we would call search and rescue which we did and the search and rescue told us that they would not come for us which was scary so then we continued to hike for the remainder of that day so from like 10 a.m at that point until like a billion 30. and we said that we were going to stop and camp at 6 PM problem is like the best way by which to hike at that stage was in a river which was freezing as snow-fed Rivers tend to be and so my foot had just started coming to pieces I will not describe it at length because this is a G-rated live stream um but like we said that we were going to stop at 6 p.m but my foot is just it's not it's not in good shape and so like 6 p.m rolls around we're still walking 605 610 615 finally at 6 15 I say I think I see Footprints and I did see Footprints and and long story short I followed those Footprints with Bobby for like the next three and a half hours eventually out to the road hitchhike back to our car got in the car and started driving around about midnight got to North Jersey by like six a.m upon which my the pain in my foot was so cute that I just checked myself into a hospital cried like a small child called my mother on the phone who quickly came bedside with old pops and uh I retained all my digits though it was touch and go there for a second so not a near-death experience but a near a bad thing yeah kind of near deathy that's that's very much near death with the park services said uh good luck guys you're on your own out there that yeah that's yeah and you're walking through a frozen River it wasn't good it was good yeah and I continue to do this to myself other one less terrible forms so I have not had frostbite since at least to my knowledge I was actually in a bad hiking situation this was probably about a year and a half ago now and um I it was like X Y and Z factors that need not be recounted but basically I wasn't I was in a tough situation I was doing the right things but I still couldn't sort myself and so I recalled actually that moment but way back when when I was 19 and I'd had the opportunity when we called search and rescue to call my family and I didn't because one they couldn't do anything in two they would just worry but since then my mother had passed away so I was like I kind of like came to my senses in the moment of my distress and I was like I can call on my mom because she can do something and she will not worry so I I'd been like walking back and forth on this Trail for a while and not seeing any Trail markers because they're all covered in snow and it was like yeah it was just a bad sitch um and so I prayed to my mom to help me and like within seconds I saw a trail marker that I hadn't seen you know for like the past hour and 45 minutes when I walked to that trail marker I saw Footprints which had ascended the mountain and which terminated right at that point as if Footprints had walked up to that trail marker so as to meet me and I followed those Footprints off the mountain and I hit the valley floor right as the lights were coming down in whatever Village it was fionae I think so it's a cool little inclusio but wow yeah yeah that's awesome it was so my mom loves me which is which is awesome yeah big fans of Mama love exactly yeah it would be sad um okay so there we go near death experiences uh we've got all our toes folks that's the good news um some questions from some patreon patrons who would have submitted these questions previously if you are joining the chat at presence and you would like to ask a question I hardly encourage you to do so now and we will do our best to answer it within the time allotted which is generous I mean not that we're being generous we're not generous we're just normal but the time allotted is generous here we go well that's right liturgical question when is it appropriate to not use the psalm indicated in the lectionary at Sunday mass at my Parish we alternate between the same two or three Psalms every week and I find it strange that we rarely ever use the proper psalm Norm you have thoughts on that yeah there's typically um there there are caveats in in the lectionary that said like these are another appropriate Psalm may be used um you find that more often in ordinary time where that happens um during the Preparatory seasons of Lent and Advent and the celebratory seasons of Christmas and Easter uh they they really should be the proper Psalms at that I mean generally you they should be the proper Psalms all the time um but there there are certain caveats uh that says like these are similar Psalms could be used but um that's typically only taken during uh ordinary time that you find um I think that the the Liturgy itself is an integral liturgy so all of the readings are chosen intentionally um by holy mother church for these reasons so we need we need to be attentive to that uh the you know in ordinary time specifically the Old Testament reading the gospel are built upon each other in the the psalm is integrated to that so you see a certain uh in Integrity within the scripture scriptural selections for that [Music] um but just to know that there there is a caveat that it can be rotated if there's a specific reason for it I don't think the reason of let's just keep one or two in rotation because that's easier on our choir I don't think that suffices for a legitimate reason but to know that there is kind of some latitude in there while still being uh you should give the priority to the proper Psalms selected for that liturgical feast boom all right next question uh hi dear fathers can you help me deal with a less than reverent priest I can't say he does anything outright scandalous but I am struggling because he was casual with the Liturgy and his tone he sometimes reminds me of a frat boy during his rambling homilies and walks around how do I keep my mind from criticizing him and focus on the Liturgy I heard it often said it's not about the homily I've tried to do meditative prayer instead of focusing on his homily is that okay thanks for your help and prayers so I have a couple of thoughts and I'll send it over to Father Joseph Anthony what I would say is praying fast um for him and you might just ask him if you can pray with him so I was recently talking to a Dominican sister who grew up with her family in a charismatic community and they were assigned a priest who was not too terribly happy with life with his vocation and so the community offered to pray for him and the man was renewed he was renewed in his life he was renewed in his vocation and he was just set on fire with love of the Lord so so people can change by the grace of God and I would say that that'd be the first step um the second step is a kind of quiet obedience so concrete example from my life I will not say where I will not say when but I was once in an assignment where there were a couple of celebrants one particular celebrant who preached long and vacuous homilies and it was a Temptation for me to celebrate a private mass and just not deal with it but you know in our legislation it says you should attend the conventional liturgy you should attend the conventional mass and I didn't really have a compelling reason to do otherwise so I just asked for the grace of obedience I sometimes struggled with it I sometimes failed but that obedience kind of bore a certain simple fruit in my life um so I would say this is a way you can think of it as a way of investing in your Parish Community and helping to renew your Parish Community and then yes I don't think you have to like do mental gymnastics and convince yourself there's some Hidden Gem in his homilies that you need to discover as if it were a scavenger hunt you know it could just be a time where you think about Jesus um and that's okay so Father Joseph Anthony your thoughts um yeah I think what you your first suggestion to pray and fast for them is the best the best advice you know we we need to be doing this um kind of cultivating uh an aspect of sacrifice and Penance for each other I know that's something that I've you know become more and more convicted of uh within the past few years is the need to pray and fast for each other it's our Lord encourages to this and I'm like whoa why did I miss that why did I miss that because I hate fasting and I hate giving things up I'm very happy with my life and I wanted to stay the way it is so I like the Comforts and I like the things that I have so I don't like the the fasting and the Penance that is required to you know to Aid and assist other people in my life so that's why I don't do it um but that's not a good reason um but yeah the ability to pray and fast uh for for the Holiness and the sanctity of others in our lives including the priests that are in Our Lives is the number one thing we should be doing now what do you do in those moments when you're not seeing this turnaround I think you know that that element is yes it's not about the homily but the homily is an important part of the Liturgy it's it's about the Eucharist or in mind in ourselves that this is about Jesus um but the there's a certain tragedy when the homily isn't consistent with the sacrifice that is taking place in front of us so I think it's it's okay to be able to articulate and recognize the sadness that's there and that you uh kind of embrace and just be able to admit like yeah this is actually going to be you know five minutes that I'm not gonna really enjoy and I'm gonna have to maybe carry this and and uh receive this uh burden if it is now if it's longer than five minutes maybe it's 12 maybe it's a 15 minute homily that just Rambles and you're like I don't know what to do that is the beauty of a rosary right uh you know the old school way of just like well I'm just going to start Trucking through some decades in these moments um I I think that's that's also an opportunity to meditate on the Lord's life and not necessarily distract yourself from it but if there's something where there is an opportunity that's what's happening in front of us is actually taking us into moments of uncharity or moments of judgment or moments of criticism or these things that it's a it's an appropriate practice to turn our minds to meditating on the Life of Christ in the rosary and offering those prayers you know for the sanctification of the priest but as well as those those others in the pews next to you in that church so that would be my advice boom all right here we go our next question comes from Mitch could you explain the virtue of Charity and the relationship between Justice forgiveness and charity maybe I just give a little light touch on Justice and charity you could talk about forgiveness and charity um so charity Saint Thomas is is friendship so which is mutual benevolence with a kind of communion or common life so I will to go to the Beloved the Beloved will is my good and we share a kind of communion um so this is a communion begotten of Grace and it's a communion with God whereby we love God with his own love of himself and our neighbor with the same so charity is a virtue which means a habit a stable or permanent disposition which makes it possible for us to act out of the very love of God connaturally as it were by a second nature and so yeah when we act charitably we're affirming the love of God and including the other within that same uh not because we're patronizing them we're condescending to them but because we find in them the love of God which motivates us to respond and turn and then when it comes to Justice we're talking about giving to another what is his do uh or what is his right so there's this sense that we're kind of brought into this world in the midst of certain relationships so you are born to two parents in a particular country you know as in baptized perhaps into the Catholic church and so there are relationships which arise in light of the time and place the circumstances and that those people have a kind of claim on you I've virtue of the fact that they have given you certain things or that they uh yeah like refer certain things to you that's the kind of basic sense of it but justice has a variety of features but we can just kind of leave it at those initial ones um yeah I think when it comes to forgiveness you know the mark of Charity is its unifying feature that it draws us into the depths of Union with God and so when we move to forgiveness in our own Human Relationships that is about the restoration of a a break in that relationship a restoration of a betrayal of some sort and to forgive something so it is built upon Justice right and it's about about upon the other person you know seeking that forgiveness and and offering or expressing their Contrition their sorrow for the actions words that they've done that has uh rendered uh that Division and so charity is that which kind of bridges those divisions and it doesn't necessarily act as if they're never there but it creates A New Path of a restored and renewed relationship of which charity is that unifying force and so I think when we talk about forgiveness and and talk about the fact that the Lord encourages us to forgive each other and because we are imitating him as he forgives us our ability to forgive each other is rooted in our ability to receive forgiveness from the Lord that he readily offers to us but we have to pursue that we have to seek that by offering our contrite Hearts to him so I think the ability to forgive each other is rooted in our ability to grow in charity to recognize that yeah maybe an injustice was done maybe there was a break in a relationship but we can offer that forgiveness as an opportunity to restore and renew a relationship in that way boom all right uh hi fathers thanks so much for this topic I've recently dealt with a near-death experience and while at first I was so grateful and close to the Lord in the aftermath I now find myself very angry that it ever happened at all I don't want this cross the Lord has allowed I used to love reading about how suffering was something the Lord Drew you closer but now I feel like it was rude and unnecessary this isn't the type of mortification and Penance I was imagining in every romantic thought I felt about poverty and Detachment were garbage and I think of job and I don't feel like I can wholeheartedly and honestly say blessed be the name of the Lord which makes me feel worse because then it makes me think I'm failing some sort of cosmic test on top of all I know he is goodness itself but I can't see it and I certainly don't feel it right now any guidance would be much appreciated Dan so yeah my first thought is um Kudos you know for honesty that's great I think that that's the first step in prayer is being honest sometimes when we pray it's like we're preparing a dossier for our canonization process and uh it's not especially helpful because I'm not sure that you meet the Lord there I mean the Lord can break through the midst of whatever nonsense we put in his path but it helps when yeah we just kind of dispossess ourselves of false attachments and unburden ourselves of false pretension so that way we can just be be present to him and I think that when you're honest like that as you just described that that's a good way of being present to him so I'm going to give a just like a small little image from Saint Therese and I'll send it over to Father Joseph Anthony um Saint Therese says picture a father who is also a physician okay so you've got a dad he's also a doctor his little child is kind of trundling down a path and he sees that there is an obstacle in the child's way he has a choice he can remove the obstacle the child will just kind of trundle on having no knowledge that there had been an obstacle there previously or you can choose to leave the obstacle in place permit the child to stumble and then help the child by his Medical Art um in the in the aftermath so like kind of patch the child up and help the child heal now in the latter case if the child stumbles the child will come to recognition at a certain point that that the father could have prevented the trauma could have prevented the difficulty from arising um and so kind of whatever he does he risks a certain whatever you would say Miss prison or misunderstanding on the part of the child but you can see from Therese's example that she's trying to communicate like how deep is the love of God and how motivated God is to to manifest that love to communicate that love and to do so by the means which are best suited to our recognition and reception of that love and so you think obviously at the cross that our Lord chooses those means which are most visible which are most extensive which are most terrible so that he can communicate manifest and communicate in in a way best suited you know to our our perception of Salvation that that he loves us right um so I think that what we're trying to do in the midst of suffering is is seek to cultivate that sensibility right or at least remain open to that sensibility not that it's going to happen overnight but just to come to prayer and say Lord I know you have a plan I don't know what it is I'm not feeling especially sympathetic towards it at this stage of the game but I know that you have a plan I I I I can see at some level how it might be true and good so help me to see it better just like simple things like that I don't know what do you think Father Joseph Anthony um yeah I think there are some aspects of this that you know um our friend Dan like you were mentioning his his openness to like you know really wrestle with it is is part of the authenticity there is to be able to say like Lord I'm I'm really struggling with this uh one of my favorite prayers is like Lord I believe but help my unbelief and I think that's a very beautiful prayer and appropriate in these types of moments of saying like hey I'm actually looking back on this I'm very upset I'm very angry don't understand like I I believe in you I love you but like I'm I'm really struggling there so you got to help this kind of unbelief that I have right now that is kind of swirling Within Me So to not be afraid to actually utter that very prayer in the midst of this is like I I know you're there but I don't see you right now so you gotta help me see you I I know this is permitted by your will but help me to trust you here so I think those types of prayers where you're able to articulate where you struggle where you're hurting where you're wrestling with the Lord but then also following up with that help me to help me believe I'm help my unbelief help my untrust uh help my uh all those different aspects can be you know helpful to that and then the other aspect is just to always be cognizant that the Lord in in his great love and mercy um enters into our suffering and he's not afraid of that he's not uh put off by it our suffering we don't have to perfect ourselves to such a point that he would we're able and ready to receive him but he actually enters into that so as you go through this process of not just the immediate uh aftermath of the trauma but the immediate kind of processing of it continue to invite the Lord to be present to you there uh you know when we're in our darkest places the the thing that gives us the most Courage the most strength the thing that gives us the ability to know that there's a possible way out of this uh dark place that we're in is the voice of a friend and um to know that the Lord enters into our life as a friend but to continually invite him into those moments as well boom all right we have a few more patreon Patron questions we're going to bop down though to those who have joined since the live stream went live and just checking to see what people are saying so Ryan Markey a regular says crushing it Father's cheers to you Ryan Marky Ronnie Suarez says what is something that has brought you both Joy recently you want to take that first I would love to take that because there's something really awesome um this past weekend I was actually on the Jersey Shore first time in my life ever been at the Jersey Shore um and I was going to a conference up there called Catholics on the shore uh to help out be some Sacramento support it was a great conference really enjoyed it but I was able to get up every morning and watch the sunrise so first light was around 6 20 and the full Sunrise was around 6 54 6 55 every morning and I kid you not it was like the coolest thing the second day I was there um you got to see the sky change into its you know purple blues orange Reds and all of that you know the gradient colors all the way but as soon as the sun like crested The Horizon you got to see a little bright orange ball of the sun I actually started like cheering I was like yeah yeah it just like filled me with someone like it was just this like immediate response and I I didn't even expect I wasn't planning on it but just like the the raw emotion to see in the sunrise just it it's carried me ever since those days so yeah thanks for asking that question because man I'm a sucker for a sunrise boom sucker for cornrows and manicured toes um so apropos nothing um right so uh something that brought me joy in in the last week was like I said these Dominican sisters from the congregation of Saint Cecilia so the Nashville Dominican sisters who are assigned in the Netherlands um they're a sign in sitard and they do ministry and Maastricht uh they came for four days and it was awesome it was it was super sweet there are many parts about the trip which were highlights for me um but the first talk that one of the sisters gave so the superior of the congregation is sister maryamada and she spoke on the first night that she was here to a group of young people who met at our Convent about evangelization in a secularized culture and it was beautiful it was super beautiful I just found a very simple very moving um and just very yeah and I mean like the young people who were there just like each of them remarked me afterwards like dude awesome totally sweet thank you so much and I was like let's go baby I was like for sure so that was great but just to have the time with them was was really wonderful so I was super appreciative of that and then I got to the top of go ahead was sister Teresa and with with y'all she was yeah yeah shout out sister Teresa and love shout out to me yeah who's crushing it um who teaches catechesis is the Good Shepherd the world over so from from Scotland's to Slovakia to everywhere in between she's crushing it then sister Agnes and then Sister Mary Lucy is the the four who are assigned there so a really really great Squad oh awesome so thank you Ronnie for that question all right here we go Lenore says hi fathers and she continues hi fathers thank you for all you do question how does God and the church see let's see uh how would God in the church see it if you weren't to speak with one of your parents I'm not currently speaking with my father and I am distant with him um yeah maybe I'll I'll give it a quick go and send it over to you yeah um I would say that you know so you're born into a family and in the order of Justice you're responsible so you owe something to your parents on account of the fact that they've given you a life so you owe them a kind of reverence a kind of respect a kind of love in fact and that we should be motivated to build up that relationship if it requires it you know we should be motivated to heal and grow that relationship now they're going to be instances when there's a kind of trauma or where there's a kind of abuse which makes it really impossible to reconcile that is to say like really impossible to kind of go back to how it was previously if there is such a time where we might need to for our own physical or emotional or psychological or spiritual good distance ourselves from a member of our family but that still doesn't make them not family um so I would say that insofar as it's possible and insofar as it's consonant with you know the glory of God and the salvation of souls to seek to work on that relationship forgiveness is a tall it's a tall order it's a tough task but it's it's like one of the things in the gospel that's that's most clear it's like forgive and love the poor it's like gosh man there's like two things that I stink at um so yeah those are initial thoughts your thoughts Father Joseph Anthony no I share I share the same type of thing there's sometimes unfortunately certain events in our lives that preclude us from you know loving family members or from loving friends or things like that and it's most kind of obvious with parental relationships that there can be um you know events in somebody's life where the parent in in a certain sense because of the trauma or the violence that has taken place in that in the child's life the parent has kind of forfeited their right uh in a certain sense of that some somewhat direct relationship so I think there are times where a direct relationship may not be the the right move or the the healthiest thing um that being said there's never a moment where we cannot trust these relationships these individuals to the love and mercy of God and I think whatever kind of forgiveness whatever kind of mending um of past hurts of past relationships there are it has to start first by uh surrendering that person that relationship into the merciful hands of our Lord and so a question is is proposed to me often when I'm working um with students or a parishioners it's like okay well how can I fulfill the Commandment to love my my father and mother if I if I can't have a direct relationship with them for a variety of reasons and sometimes the only thing that we can do is making that prayer of entrusting them to the Lord you know Lord I know you love them I entrust them to your mercy and care and that's all I can do and that's still you know be able being able to fulfill that commandment but sometimes that's all we can offer and that's that's that's enough and if we're in a place where we can have a direct relationship with them to make a Act of surrender or entrustment of that person to God and then that's that blamer all right let's do one more from dude I love this um Emma W who was a regular keep crushing it what is the best way to maintain close-knit faith-filled friendships with friends you currently see every day but will become long distance friendships I have three thoughts I really only have one but I'm hoping that I come up with two more while I describe the first one uh so book club um so father Bonaventure and I read books together although we haven't read one in the last two months because of dissertations um but we we read a book probably every two months and then we talk about it like our talking about it might last 40 minutes but while we are reading it over the course of those two months we kind of check in in the midst of our regular calls so as to uh you know make sure that we're on the same page or close to the same page uh he thinks that I'm a fast reader I'm not I'm just a I'm a spotty reader so it's like a kind of low-key competition uh but it's a nice it's like nice to have something that you introduce or Infuse into your friendship which just provides you with occasion to think deeply about about human life and about whatever um so that's one the second thing is uh yeah like be deliberate um I think that uh if you wait for inspiration to invest in your friendship then your friendship is going to fizzle and die so you need to prioritize it without doing so in a way that wholly extinguishes spontaneity and the joy that you have come to cultivate in the midst of each other's presence so I would say like you know some people it's going to mean scheduling calls sometimes sometimes it's going to mean scheduling vacations and stuff like that but it's but it's always going to mean being present in some way shape or form whilst trying to maintain an organic um kind of well authentic connection and then the last thing I would say is yep bring that person to the Lord in prayer so we talked about prayer and sacrifice or prayer and fasting I think that's at work here too uh because I think that um we're entrusted with our friends for their salvation uh not so that we can condescend to them or patronize them but so that we can ultimately be of service and I think prayer and fasting is huge for that Father Joseph Anthony I have I have like 72 thoughts to add here yeah let's go no this is something that is a very common question uh in campus ministry it's it's very common to speak with our students here at UVA about right around this time of year because they're getting ready to graduate and go on they're like oh my gosh what am I gonna do with all my friends um and I think the reality is the fact that especially for college students um this is the last time that they're ever going to experience a a society that they're surrounded by proximate peers um for the rest everything up into their life from you know preschool all the way up to college graduation their Social Circles have been proximate peers and from this point on that's not going to happen and so what you kind of have to do is be intentional I mean the the the this kind of Social Circle or environment atmosphere where it's filled with proximate peers means that you can be accidental with your friendships it can just you Strike Up friendships with those in your dorm or those that you have classes with it's kind of naturally self-selecting because it's accidental as you're surrounded by them but I think moving on you kind of mentioned this father Gregory is being intentional and that might mean like as you're moving into a new phase of life to pick three friends and say hey you're going to be my three you know I'm going to invest in you and I want to lean on you and don't be afraid to let them know that like hey as we move on like I want to I want to continue this friendship I want to invest in this friendship but you're one of my three that I'm gonna like really uh prioritize and then do what it takes to prioritize that so you kind of mentioned like scheduling things so like yeah schedule you know say like hey let's talk once a week but don't just say that just say let's talk every Friday you know Friday afternoon expect a phone call from me like let's catch up like let's keep that regular um being intentional about that I know friends that they graduate and they schedule uh a trip once a year every summer the first uh weekend of June they take a trip together as a way to like Hey we're going to keep in touch but we need to be in each other's presence especially when long distance happens and you can stay in contact with each other but that Constant Contact needs to be kind of like buoyed by time spent in each other's presence and that might mean scheduling vacations annually but as you grow and as you continue your lives it's you know everybody knows first first weekend of June is our you know get the band back together weekend type of a thing and then you kind of mentioned the last thing but also you know praying for each other uh one of the things I I really love to do but it's it's been important for my life is not just bringing that person into prayer but asking how you can pray for them you know constantly saying like hey how can I pray for you like what are your prayer intentions that I can carry because that also opens up a lot of doors for uh intimacy and friendships and and prayer requests that you can then like you said Aid and assist the salvation of your friend so those would be my three top picks be intentional with it pick your friends be intentional with your communication during distance time but also scheduling time in each other's presence and then offering prayers glamor all right here we go we're gonna Bop back up to the top we got three more patreon patreon questions so Domenico asks hello fathers do you have any tips on how to thank God even when things don't go according to our plans um yeah so this just brief thought prayer says Saint Thomas Aquinas is interpretative of Desire so I think that prayer is kind of where we find out what it is that we want in life so I would say that God's plans are good that doesn't mean we have to like recognize that at the outset but it does mean that we have to have a baseline openness and even sympathy to his plans and I think that when we continue to present ourselves in prayer you can say all right Lord you know I just received this news or I just received this letdown or I just received this assignment and I hate it or I find it utterly repulsive or it's causing me great sadness and anxiety um I want you to heal this I want you to grow me Beyond this I want X Y and Z things but I just don't know how to make sense of it apart from that um and I think that that's that's the soul of prayer I think that that Honesty which we talked about at the outset with Dan's question is super important for growth because if you just jump right to the conclusion like Lord you are worthy and this is great and I can totally sympathize with this when we're in fact not really there yet I think that that can do damage because then we associate like trauma and disingenuousness just ingenuous whatever that word is um you know like with the life of prayer which we don't want we don't want to introduce that so it doesn't mean that you're railing against God or that you're kind of like letting it all hang out in a so much crass in a responsible way you know you still go to the Lord you know done up as it were after you've taken your shower and brush your teeth but um yeah you go to him honestly your thoughts um I think cultivating a a life of gratitude outside of these big moments can be very helpful um I really encourage people that part of a daily examination that they make is also a daily gratitude examination so that you can get into the habit of looking throughout your day of saying okay Lord what have you supplied for me what have you given to me how Have you communicated with me today that I'm grateful for you know and then also thinking about you know others in your life and how they've been um you know generous to you and helped you so kind of creating a spirit of gratitude on a daily basis in the mundane in the ordinary helps that when there's things that maybe are not mundane or ordinary maybe they're extraordinary and they're very difficult they already have kind of a disposition to see and to kind of filter through that and and be able to trust in what's happening as being for the glory of the Lord and our Union with him so that there there isn't just this you know kind of catastrophic events like I need to force some kind of good here and and Trust in the good so try to force that but if you have more of a daily habit of looking throughout your day and saying there's good somewhere where can I find it and then recognizing that that can help you when really difficult things or like I said extraordinary things whether good or bad happen that we have a disposition of gratitude already in place for that yeah and I read something about that apropos what you just described in Christopher Kaiser's book The Gospel of Happiness we had Christopher kazaron previously as a guest on guest planning but in the gospel of Happiness he talks about like things in the spiritual life and then in the findings of positive psychology which line up nicely and help us to gain a new Vantage on the faith in one of those things that he described was gratitude and how positive psychologists he points especially to Martin Seligman recommends um yeah just having having a daily habit of recalling or calling to mind what it is that you're grateful for because that creates a new greater capacity to to recognize it and to receive it all right hi fathers good to see you good to see you too Allison um yes so God's planning retreatant and Wonder Woman um do you consider your favorite Saints to be your friends I'm thinking of one in particular who often comes to mind in prayer and I like to think we are friends similarly what do you think about a deceased person consistently coming to mind during prayer when it's someone you wouldn't intention they think of but they keep popping up thanks Allison you you want to take that first you have any thoughts yeah absolutely they're friends I I I I count all my saint Squad you know we rolled deep out here um but yeah no I mean this is the body of Christ and this is the beauty of us that uh we are called to friendship with Christ which is the unique Christian um you know offering and message is that we are friends with God but in in so being friends with God so we are friends with each other and so whether that is the you know the body of Christ here still suffering or in glory that we too can share a deep friendship in that because we share friendship with Christ so I am not afraid in the least to be calling some of my favorite Saints my my dearest and closest friends because I I do rely on them in friendship and the reality too and I don't know if I've spoken about this in the past but um I'm extremely casual in my prayer I mean I I should probably deal with a healthy dose of piety uh in my life but I'm not I mean I'm just super casual in my conversations both with the Lord and the Saints um so I speak to them as I would a friend and that's that's that is the core of my my own prayer life especially with the Saints so for me it's it's not difficult at all to call him a friend because I talk to them like I would any one of my friends um which is for me the the root of it all boom all right last question from a patreon patient I'll learn how to speak at some point but all right here we go hey fathers keep being awesome thank you for that encouragement I don't know that we ever began to be awesome so thank you for your trust and our having begun to be awesome and our continuity therein um I have a Catholic friend who was retired and widowed seeking to figure out the purpose of life now any book recommendations for such a person I would say that person definitely has a you know I mean has a contemplative vocation not to say that that person is going to remain shut up um in his or her house uh retired and widowed yeah a man or woman um that but but that is to say that this is an opportunity to grow in the life of prayer and I would recommend time for God by Jacques Philippe because I think it when you have a a rich um interpersonal uh affectionate life of prayer that that is a source of dynamism in a variety of different directions not necessarily of activism like you're running around from this to that and your retirement becomes busier than your employment but in the sense that you you have a more concrete sense of who you are and what you're for which I think is what we all want your thoughts um along those same lines I mean we're big fans of Father Jacques Philippe out here um but I think another one that is along that very same line is a father Donald Haggerty uh his book I think it's called like the contemplative something or contemplations something contemplative something something I should remember that title at some point I'm looking it up now yeah thank you um but he does a really good job of talking about how the call of each baptized Christian is to contemplate the face of God in it that's crazy his his push is a little more towards uh you know those who are working in the hustle bustle of a city or a professional life but at the end of the day it really is built upon this idea that our baptismal vocation at some point is going to be just solely contemplating the face of God and how to begin that now so somebody who's retired and widowed I know you know my own kind of I don't know hesitation or my own kind of fear of you know that phase and stage of my own life because I just have to be busy and I have to be doing things and when you're retired and you don't really have much else to do is like what's going to happen so to kind of start to inculcate and habituate the the contemplative life at that stage can be super important and I think father Hagerty does a good job of speaking about that as a universal vocation for each one of us this man has a variety of books with the word contemplative in it the contemplative hunger contemplative provocations and contemplative enigmas oh he's got enigmas out there oh yeah mysterious I think it was a hunger contemplative hunger was the first one I read provocations is pretty good too um but yeah all right sign me up eventually okay here we go we're gonna Bop down to the bottom of this chat and cruise through what remains in the last 10 minutes Mom Pond sounds awesome she is indeed thousand percent you could learn any new skill in the next six months what would you choose I would learn to play the piano Father Joseph Anthony yeah I was initially thinking something musical because I love music but I have nothing uh to show for that but um I think photography if I could actually take the time and actually hone a skill of like photography I would really love that that's awesome Hallelujah says father sharing all these near-death experiences to Dominican hyping hiking hopefully does not convince the superiors that he should not go hiking again maybe just that he needs an adult to hike with excellent point Hallelujah as usual Sage counsel uh let's put some money together and get him a security detail hilarious I've got this like it's actually not expensive in Switzerland you can get this insurance plan such that if you get yourself in a bad situation in the mountains they send a helicopter for you it only costs like forty dollars a year best forty dollars I ever spent yo let's make it even more Reckless that's what I was gonna say does that encourage you to be like kind of crazier and Reckless I can get a helicopter conference exactly I'm looking forward to the helicopter ride to be honest um Ryan or maybe he has to go with Franciscan since they're Closer To Nature you guys are Savage pray for our newly ordained priest father Carlos with pleasure um people are praying people are saying names people are bopping in all right people are saying hello to each other Lenore says thank you God bless you both cheers any trip to DFW area not at Presence although all connections to the West Coast go through DFW or Sky Harbor um we love you fathers God bless you both and all that you do blessings for Mark and Lisa from Canada awesome I'm winning I hope that's a reference to Charlie Sheen um definitely needed this one today thanks father hey cheers to you Marcella Marcella um the last nine months have been beyond our understanding a lot of suffering but we witnessed so many miracles Mark's dad had a heart attack we came from Mass started CPR by God's grace is alive holy smokes then his dad had a quadruple bypass and we found out they had no cancer again he suffered another code blue in the hospital Miracle after Miracle he is now in a sixth round of chemo praise God wow it can be so difficult at the time but looking back to be witness to these Miracles is overwhelming and amazing at the same time beautiful testimony um any thoughts on the recent coronation of King Charles III I do not I know nothing about it I I think I saw a picture I didn't yeah I was I was on the Jersey Shore when that was going on so um no I I think the what is it the the British Monarchy is the last one to actually like retain a coronation right in some capacity I thought it was um you know some of the Friars here in Charlottesville are very uh in tune with these things uh feather Walter Wagner a pastor is a huge anglophile so this was a big moment for him um but yeah I thought it was very interesting that there were um it was a clearly a religious moment there was a presentation of a Bible that it was like um father Walter was missing or reminiscing like when they presented the Bible to him they said this is like the most precious thing this world has to offer is the word of God and like that itself is very very beautiful um so I I can't speak firsthand I can only say like you know the the hot takes and the the things that father Walter was reminiscing on but yeah I think it was a fascinating experience um especially because we haven't seen a coronation and oh my gosh what however many decades really yeah I have no idea but it's been a minute um all right we're at our last question so Jacob Jones says I'm interested in saying Apple the great but I'm having trouble finding anything to read that is an introduction can you recommend anything not offhand except paulist press has uh this kind of series of great spiritual Classics and there's one called Albert and Thomas it's going to be philosophical and Theological but it's going to have a decent introduction and that might be of service to you but if you're looking for something you might send an email to father Bernhard blankenhorn who teaches at the University of Freeburg and who is a scholar of Saint Albert the Great he recently hosted a conference here in Freeburg on the theme and brought together all the leading Albert Scholars um yeah basically in the world so he'll he'll know if anyone does Father Bernhard blankenhorn at the University of Freeburg boom all right that's it hello Mother Joseph Anthony any final thoughts nah Jesus is Lord and I'm a big fan yes amen for my final thought Reagan quickly says at father Gregor let's go Sixers at Reagan Quigley oh yeah as the Kool-Aid man once said oh yeah so please pray for us and pray for the 76ers who have a big game tonight game five of the Eastern Conference semifinals Beyond which they have not Advanced since 2001 in the great Allen Iverson step over Toronto man that was a great series AI one of the best one of the best as as kygo once saying gone are the days actually he doesn't sing anything but regardless okay so thanks as always for listening to God's planning please follow us on Facebook Twitter and Instagram if you would like this video subscribe on YouTube if you haven't yet and leave the five star review I don't know if they're five star reviews on YouTube there aren't so never mind if you would like to donate to the podcast through patreon you can follow the link in the description of this video if it is there at present if not it will be at some point uh you'll also find links to shop merchandise oh my gosh Gregory learn to speak to shop merchandise and to sign up for God spending Retreats so there is I think there are a couple places left so we have like 116 spots for the all-commer's retreat in the middle of June I think we have like 110 applications at this point which is awesome so it's going to be a big party and we're looking forward to meeting you there praying with you and uh just just kicking it and then the men's Retreat is now open for applications which takes place in the middle of August in Brevard North Carolina so sign up for that as well and that's all we got all right so no of our prayers for you please pray for us and we'll look forward to chatting with you next time on God's plan

Channel: Godsplaining | Catholic Podcast

Views: 4,291

Keywords:

Id: C5UDGrpRaAE

Length: 56min 17sec (3377 seconds)

Published: Wed May 10 2023