Live Free: Exceeding Your Highest Expectations with DeVon Franklin | PR Yourself Podcast

[Music] all right guys welcome back to another episode of pr yourself with leah frazier i'm back with a very very special guest i have not told him but i am a fan girl i have read the weight backwards and forwards then backwards and forwards again and i was on his team your book launch team for the success commandments and so this very special author producer yes i i wasn't going to tell you until now so i'm very happy to welcome devon franklin to the show i mean he's all things inspiration um has written so many new york times best-selling books he's back today with a brand new book on sale may the fourth call live free we all need this right now all right i mean let me just tell you so just welcome so much to my podcast and thank you so much for spending some time with us today oh thank you for having me i really appreciate it and i had no idea you all remember the launch team so thank you for your support you're very welcome and i will say you know sometimes it's a little bit unnerving but you're very active on social you know sometimes you get a part of these launch teams and you don't know and you were just retweeting everything and it was making me jack to tell people about your book so oh i love it i'm listening i'm excited about everything i do so just you know hey if someone else is excited too i'm like oh yo we can do it let's go so what's what's been going on um during the pandemic like what what have you been working on what's what's life like right now for you um you know listen i mean i think like everyone else you know um the pandemic brought with it uh you know challenges and opportunities um you know the challenge of not being able to move in the way that you know we all were accustomed to and then the opportunity to you know really rediscover uh who we are and and what life's about what direction we want to go in and so for me you know obviously my heart goes out to everyone that lost someone you know during the pandemic um you know and with that being said you know for me it's been a great time of reflection and a great time of just reorienting like who i am and what i want to do and am i going in the right direction and so being able to kind of recalibrate i guess is a better way to put it and that recalibration has been great and um you know really really eye-opening and it's just giving me a lot of clarity uh on which direction i want to you know go in and uh and really giving me the confidence to you know pull away from certain things and lean into other things so devon then when all this started now totally different person or just like devon 2.0 would say more of a 2.0 i wouldn't say completely different you know i'm still who i am uh but you know hopefully becoming a more realized fuller version of who i am i love what you were saying about um just like the personal professional growth because there was this meme that was going around when the pandemic first started and it was like if you're if you're not writing a book or you're not starting your business and you're not doing this while you're in quarantine or in isolation then then what are you doing it's kind of like yeah but we don't know what people are struggling with that's right we stopped them from producing but i think one of the cool things about you i was just kind of cracking up when i linked up with your team where i was like well not only did he write a full book but the book in and of itself is like literally like 200 200 well over 250 pages and i'm like if i went to work and not just for you for all of us and so what what did you have to muster up to produce during a time where so many people they just couldn't bring themselves to do it yeah you know it was really about um you know mustering up the the courage first and foremost um and then also you know it's hitting what you said on the meme and then i'll come back to the book for a minute you know it's it's you know on social media it's such a um a medium that can do a lot of positivity but can also do a lot of damage and so means like that to me are damaging if they produce this this negative feeling of oh i'm not doing enough or i'm not enough for if it feels if it produces shame you know to me that's that's not no it's like no everyone has their own journey and for some the pandemic was it was designed to just get you to pause and stop and not do anything maybe you were doing too much um and everyone has the journey of what that meant to them and so seeing memes like that and then you know someone being tempted to judge themselves uh to me makes me sad because we all are on a journey and figuring this thing out and so for me you know i had already set up this book before the pandemic it just so happened that when the pandemic hit it gave me the time to to to write it and um what i wanted to talk about was the same you know i was always going to talk about expectations and it just so happened we were experiencing a time when all of our expectations were being upended and um and so it took the courage it took candor you know and transparency you know i did not write this book from a standpoint of oh i figured it all out you know i wrote the book from a standpoint of like we all have this feeling of who we want to be and where we want to go and a lot of us feel a little held back we feel restricted uh we don't feel as successful as we like to feel uh we're not going everywhere we would like to go uh and a lot of that has to do with expectations and we don't even a lot of times we don't even realize it so i wanted to write the book for it to be a you know an aha moment to say oh wow so oh it's my expectations that are running my life oh my goodness okay how do i get control of that so it really required the the confidence to candor um and then really wanting to just connect with the reader in in a very dynamic way and that process was difficult i mean writing is hard um you know i had a co-author who helped me and even with the help it's hard it's really really hard because i'm one of those writers i'm in it i'm in every word every sentence all of it you know i just don't hire somebody and tell them to go write a book and i put my name on i don't i don't know how to do that um so it was a difficult process but i'm i'm proud of it and hopefully it'll it'll touch people who read it so it's called live free subtitles exceed your highest expectations we'll get into a little bit of the four different realms that you touch upon and then we'll even get down to this word expectation but for you because i i guess i thought it was kobe that kind of sparked this but you're saying there was you know this was before before so what what incident or was it a set of incidences or what sparked within you where or or was it a circumstance where you said i have to get this out um when did you realize that you had those expectations that maybe were prohibiting you to live free yeah you know because i was just looking at how i was feeling you know a lot of times i was just feeling um frustrated and disappointed and you know feeling less than and all of it so i'm like man where are all these people coming from because like outside everybody's like devon is like and you even talk about in the book where maybe people put you on this pedestal like and you have those expectations for yourself being perfect but you are the person that people look to for hope and inspiration when we have those individuals we don't associate them with oh they're human beings too and maybe they have the right things that they struggle with so i was very shocked like wait a minute the transparency he's a perfectionist he's down himself i never yeah these things yeah and that's why i wanted to be honest and transparent you know it's like yo here's the stuff i'm dealing with here's what i'm going through you know here's what i'm navigating and um you know and and again like something i try to articulate in the book is that you know i have a a very big vision for my life and who i am and and the service that i i offer and a greater service i believe i can offer so while all those things are great they can also become tortuous if they if if they're allowed to be so for me you know the wanting to be and the wanting to grow like at times which is so like oh you know so even with all the success it's never enough it's never enough so as i perpetually got to the place where i was just experiencing a lot of disappointment i said well what's happening right because you know i'm doing well i am successful you know like you know i know that you know what i mean so what's the problem and then what i realized is that oh the problem is my expectations i have these expectations that if i don't meet them i'm devastated and not only if i don't meet them if if i don't meet them then i judge myself then i say oh you know you're not good enough and you're not who you think you are in all of these negative things yes and so as i started to have the revelation about myself a lot of people who were coming to me for help were expressing similar um symptoms and then i was like oh we all have the same problem it's expectations and then that's when i realized oh expectations are the secret software running all of our lives so we're not reacting to the events of reality we're reacting to what we expected of reality so if something goes above our expectations we're happy if something doesn't hit our expectations we're devastated if someone does meet our expectations we love them if someone doesn't meet our expectations we're tired of them and so as a result it was like wait if we can set our expectations and get control of expectations that then might become a better lens to which we imbue our entire life so maybe if our life stayed the same but our expectations were set we would see things completely different that was why i wrote this book and this is why i'm so passionate about it and i love that you did it i think the drop is timely so god does everything yeah at the right time because when everybody had to go through this isolation period or quarantine what's the one thing we're doing we're connecting digitally and so if you have that expectation and this is just my opinion and you're on your devices all day long because that's the only thing that you can connect with then maybe all of these these feelings of you know maybe i'm not worthy enough or my value is enhanced because what are you doing all day is looking at other people's stuff or it's magnifying all those symptoms that you said you need to work on totally totally totally 1 000 and so now you guys can work on yourselves at home because you've got a book to be able to do it that's it i love because you have reflection pieces after every single chapter so it's definitely not anything that i would rush through you would definitely want to unpack but moving right along we've seen a lot of things kind of come up during the pandemic mental health issues people struggling with anxiety um like you've coined like unnecessary stress so before they even approach your book in trying to live free according to what you've mapped out it was their what should their mindset be like and i don't want to say what should their expectation be before getting into the book but hey i mean like it is what it is like how can they prep because this is work i'm not even kidding you it is like you need to go buy a journal yes do do a chapter that's true fill it out let it breathe like don't read the book so you can meet your book list for 2021 no like do a chapter let it breathe and it's work and some things you discover is devastating because you're unpacking it's like going to therapy but in this right no i mean it is it's so interesting that you say that because yeah as i was writing it you know it was like going to therapy because you know even in the introduction you know it's like the questions of like you know are whose life are you living you know are you really living the life that you're destined to live are you living the life that's expected of you and so you know before a reader lives reads live free you know i think that they got to get to the place where they're they're sick and tired they're sick and tired of living by what everybody else wants and expects of them but not really living the life they know is deep down in their heart they gotta get sick and tired of feeling like they're putting out so much energy and effort and getting very little in return they ought to get sick and tired of feeling like they keep getting the short end of the stick in life you know that's what you got that's where i i have found those who read the book and they're in that position it has a just an exponential um impact on their life because you know to your point if you're just trying to read this book and check it off your your monthly book list you're going to miss it you know but if you're really looking for change in your life the change that you and i want in our lives starts with change within and so this is why i wanted to write this book because the idea the concept living free when i say live free it means that you are not under the mental uh physical or emotional control of anyone or anything that you live by the expectations that you set not by those imposed on you by others so in order for someone to receive this book they've got to get to the place where they're like i need change i need it now and i am i am i no longer can continue the way that i am i love that and in the book you dive into several sets of expectations which again i just i thought was pretty dynamic so that it's not all lumped together and then you get overwhelmed but you first start off talking about personal expectations and so i applaud you for starting with that one because i think we're hardest on ourselves regardless of everything else like that you know you're like i'm a perfectionist and i was evaluating myself and you're hitting all these milestones you don't even know me and i'm coming to the phone like look the weight is back there on that bookshelf part of your you know you've had impact on people from all over the world yeah even you struggle with this so talk to me a little bit about um personal expectations and and just we're not going to give too much away but how how do you see this holding people back because some of this stems from childhood let's be real oh most of it's from childhood so here's the thing the personal expectations is really about saying okay who am i where do i want to go and how do i begin to put myself on that path so a lot of times it comes from you know our issues most of all of our issues are coming from childhood right whatever trauma tragedy triumphs whatever we experience good and bad uh we are all indelibly marked and shaped by our childhood now when it comes to personal expectations a lot of times in my experience we end up you know not really setting expectations for ourself meaning it doesn't mean we don't have expectations that's not what i'm saying what i'm saying is a lot of our expectations have been influenced by everybody else and we want to please our mother we want to please our father we want to please our friends we want to please our cousin and please our auntie we want to please the church we want whatever you know so we're trying to please we want to please everybody at the expense of sometimes pleasing ourselves so these personal expectations in the personal section is first and foremost for me to have just time with you as a person and ask some questions you know whose life are you living right now whose life are you living are you really living your life or are you living the life that everybody else is expecting of you and those two things can be completely different and that's why i wanted to write this this section because before we can get into the cultural and uh you know the relational and the professional we have to have a level set of what the foundation means to personally set expectations i also in this section um i i basically define what it means to set expectations when an expectation is set it means we ask two questions one is the expectation realistic or unrealistic how do we know is it within our control if something is within our control i argue it's realistic to expect now this is when it gets very interesting because when you think about expectations first and foremost through that through the lens of the one question now we can start to look at our life and say oh got it now i understand why i'm so frustrated because i'm trying to control stuff that's out of my control right and i'm treating without here's a crazy thing we treat what's out of our control as an expectation that if we don't hit it or we don't control it then something's wrong with us right so you've got this great podcast all right wonderful no matter how hard you try you can't get people to listen to it so if you put an expectation that i've got to have you know ten thousand downloads or a hundred thousand downloads by next month and then you make an assessment as to what that will mean if you don't you are put you you are skating on thin ice and the sun is coming out why because no matter how hard you try you don't control who turns who tunes in to listen to this you don't what you control is the quality of your preparation the quality of the program the quality of your guests the quality of your marketing and publicity that's within your control so you can have an expectation that i want to produce and create and host and market and publicize the type of show that can one day get these benchmarks it all starts though with what's in your control right in understanding what it is and what isn't so you can you can set an expectation about your show it just needs to be based on your control so that's the first thing the second thing you got to ask is it spoken or unspoken meaning is the expectation uh communicated or uncommunicated this is also an area where we're getting a lot of trouble because we're expecting things of everybody else we never asked them yep there you go you ever said hey you know if i do this for you can i expect that you're going to do this for me you know or hey listen uh you know it's so interesting it's like i i'm everything we talk about i'm telling you i'm living it and i go through it so um i just just moved we just moved out of our place because i'm here in new mexico producing a movie and megan is in atlanta so we moved out of our place in l.a because we just didn't need to have it um and so we'll figure out what we're going to live when we get back so um you know my mother and my aunt came down to help my brother my older brother lives in l.a and so he had asked me a couple times hey you need help you need to help me out and the old me was thinking like if you know i'm moving go maybe you're just asking do i need help because you want to let yourself off the hook with me saying oh no whatever right because like you know we need help so just show up right the old me would have made a judgment and gotten upset but the the me that lives free said if i really need him i have to tell him i cannot have an unspoken expectation that he's supposed to know that i need him i haven't actually told him i need him and then i treat him as if i told him and get mad at him i'm triggered right now come on come on right to my dog right you you you want to say it expectation that you won't bark during this interview yes that was so good i mean that is spot on right do you think overall society has a problem communicating do you think that technology and all these things have come into play where like the art of just communication is lost like what what no no no no i don't think we the art is lost if anything we're communicating more than ever before i mean through through text messages through emails through dms uh through posts through phone calls you know i mean i think we're probably communicating more than than we probably ever have in history i think the thing is learning what real communication is right you know so for me when we're talking about these expectations it's it's literally saying well wait a minute what i'm i'm expecting this from this person but have i actually asked them and then have i given them a chance to say yes you can expect that of me no you can't simple but it's like oh right right okay so so yes we're communicating more than ever before but we aren't always applying that communication in in the direction we want to go right so so if you want to go in the direction of more joy in your life more peace in your life more clarity in your life then you've got to direct your communication in that way and that's why you got to set your expectations by asking these two questions are they realistic or unrealistic are they communicated or uncommunicated and once you and if something is within your control and if it needs to be communicated you've communicated now your expectation is set and now that set expectation can be a foundation for your happiness and your freedom because you've done the work to say but if your expectation is on set you will continuously find yourself unhappy wow so let me let me let me ask you this because i wasn't expecting all that so my mind is just like okay you're speaking to me i got to go back it's all right that's all right that's why we're here more work to do um as i was reading this and i was thinking about i'm in book clubs and then there's a lot of business coaches and a lot of people went heavy into like personal and professional development especially during covet and they go into it with so let's just say top of 2021 you go into your goal setting right and or a lot of people do visualization exercises and they tell you to visualize beyond unrealistic things right um in order to manifest these things in your life where does expectation come into play with that like just because i feel like it's almost like the opposite of what we're being taught um we're being taught to go and visualize like even if it's not realistic that you're gonna be a multi-millionaire and that you're gonna have all these homes and that you're gonna be this big wig at how do you balance the two yeah yeah i mean so i don't want to get you know so super deep or metaphysical or whatever but okay like how does that work like brainstorming right right i was trying that's what i struggled with sure first bit of the book okay great great great great question great inquiry i love it so when we talk about you know when you're talking about manifestation you know or or visualization right uh connected to that is a vibration right so you know there's a lot of theories and thoughts that you know even in the bible according to your faith being unto you so at what level you vibrate you are able to then receive on that level so your vibration there's a connection between your vibration and your manifestation so a lot of times what happens though is that when you talk about oh you know visualizing being a millionaire and visualizing all these houses and but those things never never happen why why because we actually don't have an expectation to support the vibration and as a result there's no manifestation oh say that one more time we don't have an expectation to support the vibration and as a result there's no manifestation oh that's amazing so let me unpack that so the expectation is a strong belief that something will happen in the future yes right that's what it means so how do i get to a place where i actually have a strong belief about something i have to build confidence in my life that gives me more support for that belief right so so so for example you know since you talked about you know money and whatnot so you know um uh you know i came you know when i was a child we were on welfare right uh my father died when i was nine years old uh he died of a heart attack at 36. my mother didn't have enough money for my brothers and my older brother my younger brother i'm a middle child of three boys we were on welfare we wore hand-me-downs you know to school i mean i remember uh you know uh you know powdered milk all right and uh you know generic cereal with no you know no labels just straight from the government i remember you know uh the everything that with the beans and the cheese and all of it right so as i grew in to you know the entertainment business and started you know my path in hollywood um while i had a belief while i had a desire right i wanted to manifest more money i had a belief system that worked against that yes oh yes so so so here's the truth here's the truth if you if you can work on these manifestations all day if it's not supported by a belief it will never happen so so the way that i built a stronger belief about manifesting more money was to get into a stronger confidence about who i was and my offering to the world and so what i mean by that is that the more that i progressed in my career the more that i got more confidence in myself and the more i became in got into an awareness of my value i said oh okay oh got it so i do have what it takes to make it you know i i am successful i can get movies made oh okay so the more that i built that confidence the strength of my belief increased so then my expectation right of like okay what's in my control what's in my control is my attitude what's in my control is my disposition what's in my control is how i negotiate what's in my control is not settling for less so the more that i set my expectation then i was able to have a vibration that then led to the manifestation so now you know what i receive is much greater than what i was receiving at the beginning of my career not just because i've progressed but because i've gotten i've been able to live in a higher manifestation you say according to your faith according to your faith right be it unto you that's real it's it's really the code to what we're talking about right but a lot of times we're having faith in something we don't actually believe [Laughter] you know it's it's almost like rubbing the genie i just wanna just wanna have all these visualizations and hopefully one of them will come true no sorry if you want to rub a genie you got to go to atlanta and be in the movies but that that ain't that is not real right that is not real and i think that's when people you know again i know years ago people were into the secret and all that kind of stuff um and and i think there are elements of that that you know are based in some reality but i think where people went wrong with it was thinking that oh i can just think about anything and you know that's gonna happen and then it didn't happen people got upset right with my expectation oh i expected oh i could just do the secret i could just sit here all day and think think think thing and stuff's gonna happen and nothing happened bills piled up you know i didn't get the house it didn't get no car didn't even get a job i lost my job the secret doesn't work right because the expectation that it was going to be the fit the end all be all no no no anything external is never going to be the answer to what's internal in order for us to get to a level of manifestation where those things can happen they have to be supported by that expectation which is a strong belief and how do we build our belief system by building more confidence you know you look at someone you know like an oprah or tyler perry the the rules are no different for them than they are for anybody else how are they able to manifest on that level because they believe on that level they have confidence on that level so you know it's like so it's like oh yeah this is just how i live no problem it's like no big deal okay great yeah this is how i live i live this way i'm a billionaire this is what i got what it's just life hey yeah right okay cool now i can offer more service it is what it is right you know but some of us like oh man am i worthy of a billion dollars you know and then and then we aren't actually living in a way right so so what i mean by that again long answer to your question i did not mean to go down the is great because i'm telling you i was reading it like i'm having an internal conflict yes okay good good good good good so so with the book and the reason why i wrote the book is that you know i really want to give people more confidence to be able to operate more in their gifting right so that that there's a it's it's like i don't want you to wish oh i wish no i want you to know it's told there's a difference between knowing who we are and what's going to happen and then allowing the time it's required for that to happen there's a total difference in how i live my life when i know versus when i wish when we wish we don't actually believe we're playing this we're playing spiritual lotto oh i wish oh i wish one day versus i know and and because i know it it impacts how i live so i'm not living based on a wish which means you know some days i mean you may if you if you're living on a wish some days you may be disciplined some days you maybe not some days you get up and you're happy some days you're not but when you know right you get up with intent that's right you live with purpose you know again we're talking about you just let's use your podcast as an example again i don't know how big it is or isn't i have no idea i don't even know what your aspirations are for i'm assuming you have some but if you know that you've got a dope podcast and you are a dope host that's very different than saying oh i started this podcast and i wish it'll work and you know i wish people would see me as a host like those are two different energies and one energy is not going to get you what you want and the other will get you closer to it now what it's gonna look like that's the part we gotta surrender right right you can know you have the dopest podcast on the planet and you're the dopest podcast host and you want the podcast to grow great i know these things will happen how it will look i've gotta i've gotta relax because that's out of my control right that in order to have the manifestation it's gotta be supported by the vibration which has to be supported by the expectation if i'm trying to do things out of my control my expectation is off so there's a vibration so it's manifestation right so what's in my control is the knowing what's in my control is the discipline what's in my control is my attitude right because that attitude is connected to the vibration right right if my attitude because here's why why is our vibration go up and down because it sometimes we tether it to uh uh well it hasn't happened yet on the uncertainty of what we we want to know but it hasn't happened yet so i'm feeling down today no i don't know this is false hope what am i doing ain't never gonna work right so then our vibration just goes straight into the toilet you know versus saying you know what i know it and guess what in a moment when i'm starting to you know get a little uncertain i'm just going to step back from everything i'm going to take a run i'm going to take a walk i'm just going to you know do some push-ups i got to get my mind off i'm thinking too much i'm thinking too much i just got to get into knowing because when i'm in the knowing i know what that feels like and when i feel right and then my expectation is set then my vibration is right and i can guarantee whatever supposed to manifest will so long answer to your question oh perfect just i'm telling you i was like why am i struggling with this one thing like maybe it's because i just did goals right and then you set all these goals and then i'm going through meditation training right now for my certification so we deal with vibrations and energy and relax and release and all these things and visualization and so i'm reading your book and i'm like how how can we marry all of these together so that they're not in conflict with that they make sense that makes sense nice that makes sense i'm very happy with that answer what i do want to talk about i know we're limited on time but you you do talk about cultural expectations and we were talking about faith i want to dive a little bit into um maybe the cultural the expectations of the church um i feel like a lot of people right now are struggling faith-wise just given everything that's going on um in the world they don't know how to feel you've got some people that are avoiding therapy because maybe jesus and god they're gonna save everything right um and then you have others that are like for myself i was going through meditation and i had people culturally telling me like that that was linked to like demonic energy and i'm like really because i want to live to my highest being so what how are these cultural expectations not allowing us to live free as well and what do we need to evaluate so so here's what we have to evaluate especially when you talk about culture specifically when you talk about coming from communities of faith i was raised i've been raised in the community of faith you know i've been a christian all my life been in the church all my life um what i know is that if someone doesn't feel free they can't support you in you becoming free if someone feels judged they are more than likely going to judge you if someone feels held back inadvertently they may try to hold you back so when you think about that in the context of you know communities of faith in my experience what should be a community that is the most loving and the most liberated end up becoming the most judgmental and uh the most um uh critical why because we a lot of times um we you know especially talking about being christian we talk about the love of jesus right and the love of god as the way to get people to convert to give their life to jesus right so i'm going to give my life to jesus he is my savior i'll be washed up my sins and i will walk with him uh eternally great that we get them into the the body of christ so to speak through the power of love but then we socialize them out of love and into religion you can't say this you can't say that you can't wear this you can't wear that you can't go here you can't do that right so what gets them in the door is love but then we socialize them through judgment through uh ridicule through at times hate uh and so in my experience one of the reasons why i wrote this book is because you know again i was raised in the in the church and i wanted to go to hollywood you know i wanted to make movies and a lot of people in my church community were like no don't do that it's sodom and gomorrah it's the devil's playground you're going to lose your faith you know you're going to compromise your faith and so i was like oh god so you're telling me from the choices you've had to make and because you had dreams that you did not um can you hear me yeah wait oh hold on hold on one second sorry something happened my er okay okay i'm sorry i'm just i have technical glitch here can you hear me now yes i can hear you okay now i can hear you for some reason it was trying to switch over to my air pods which are not open so so here's the thing in the church it's like okay if if i feel right if i feel like oh you know what as devon i'm gonna allow my life to be completely dictated by your experience then i'm gonna become a version of what's comfortable for you not the version of who i am and there's a scripture that says jesus says you know who the sun sets free is free indeed that scripture is talking about from the power of sin but the idea that the ultimate penalty is death the wages of sin is death so jesus has freed us from sin why then would i allow myself to be in a prison of your thoughts and your opinions that's all right what's up little man um why would i allow myself to be in a prison of your thoughts and your opinions you know i i wouldn't i wouldn't do it why would i not do it because i i have to go experience for myself and so in my experience leah this is when you know i wrote this book for everybody but i really pray those in the church catch it because we are called to love and we are called to live and you have got to experience okay what is meditation i don't know let me go figure it out let me decide for me if it is demonic if it is of god where does it fit i will never know unless i go do some investigation for myself and guess what god is god he can handle my investigation he can handle my journey the the people in the church may not be able to but guess what they don't have a cross to put me on they don't have a grave to put me in period don't have a heaven to take me to so we got to get to the place where we are living so free that we offer love to those who aren't for yet so when people i mean i got i got i have there are people right now who have never met who have done youtube videos against me and all these people i was like how just like just even just hearing you speak about it i'm like for someone that gives so much to the world i i wonder how you kind of relax and release all of this because it's like you and megan could be doing something at the church for the church right and then i'm like do you avoid the comments and then you go in the comments and it's like y'all are missing the message yeah you know listen to the hero's coming out of his mouth and it's just like yeah but it's okay though it's all right because again like like if if i'm free and you're free that freedom energetically causes disruption for those who are not that's true so it's distortion so so if someone's not free and they're like like no it's gotta be this way and they hear what i'm saying which is on a different vibration it's on a different level it's gonna the sound's gonna get distorted it's like being on a radio station and you can't quite hear not because the broadcast isn't clear it's that the reception that that you aren't on you aren't quite tuned in so the broadcaster sounds clear but the way you may hear it sounds distorted so as a result you comment based on the distortion but if you were in the booth with the broadcaster or you tuned in to that right station you'd be able to hear it clearly so i look at it and i offer love you know for those that that you know have the comments or whatever it's okay like hey guess what if anything it's con it's confirmation that you know we're doing the right thing because you know you i've never experienced someone make an impact in the world without you know the criticism that goes along with it so you know it's expected and because it's expected it allows me to deal with it that's awesome that's such a good outlook and i just think it's just a resonating theme of just release release release yeah you gotta do it we gotta do it so like moving along we you talked about cultural uh i really wanted to talk about that aspect of the church you also in the book talk about cancer culture which is like so relevant right now but y'all just don't have to go get the book because i want to get to these relational expectations um so you move from that section into relational expectations with one another um and then you hit on expectationship which i thought like that was a very interesting word about our expectations that we kind of placed within our relationships that could be causing us some grief and yes so yeah yeah i put this in the book and this is why i'm so excited about you know this book and and believing that it's going to change people's lives because it can kind of like to say oh wait a minute i'm not in a friendship right or i'm not even in a relationship i'm in an expectation what that means is as long as i do what's expected the benefits of the friendship or relationship are available to me as long as i do what they expect me to do when they expect me to do it we're good but heaven forbid i step out of their expectation oh wait a minute the phone calls don't get returned the text messages you know uh go unread you know there's there's friction but then all sudden i get back to doing what they want me to do oh hey hey right and then also sometimes we can be the ones that have these expectations of everybody else and then they don't meet our expectation and we write them off oh i'm never calling that person again i'm not texting that person right because i did this for them and then they didn't do this for me right no no no if you love someone you set them free i don't want you to do anything for me out of duress i want you to do it because it was in your heart so as a from a friendship or a relationship if we can do that because we're both free and we make the choice to contribute to each other in a positive way great or we use our communication hey can i expect this from you can i expect that from you and you give the other person the okay to say it or to do it but i wrote that in the book because that expectationship sometimes you know we can find ourselves in having so many of them not realizing that we don't actually have real friendships yeah that's tough yeah that is that's tough and i i will be honest with you i have let quite a low vibrating people go quite a few go during this time just because i'm like you know i don't have to have the capacity to deal with this you know like i'm gonna release any of the negativity and like you said maybe i had an expectation for that person to change or because you've been my friend for however many years i'm expecting you know we have these expectations for each other without realizing like man this pandemic has pushed me on a growth path to something higher and you just can't go there with me and it's okay and the moment i started releasing all these people it was almost like you know just releasing like removing anchors i was able to just kind of sail away and move and it was so i just think that all of these pieces together are so important like i mean i just imagine because i mean it's your book you just must feel like you're just like floating you're just like oxygen like in the air you know hey i just i wrote it and you know just i mean the hardest part about a book honestly is not even the writing it's just the getting it to the world you know letting people know that it's here and what it is and because i believe anyone who reads it their life will change in a positive way i believe that so you know uh my greatest uh you know hope is that uh you know it'll get to as many people as it possibly can and it will it'll be a new york times bestseller and then we'll just have to update the captioning all right let's go i love it i love it i'm with you with me and then the last section is professional so i i kind of like in that section with the same mindset of our personal expectations but professional can be a little bit different you talk again about being realistic so is there anything within our professional expectations especially for this uh body of listeners that you wanna you feel led to speak about that you talk about in the book that you're seeing as like a maybe a theme within the pandemic yeah i mean you know uh definitely i have a whole section i have chapters worth of information for anyone looking to know and learn how to set your professional expectations which i believe will get you more success in your career and in your job one of the things that i talk about you know in the professional expectations section of this book is about the process is the result so often we think the result is the result but it's really about the process why is that important because so you talk about people been navigating you know the job market in the pandemic so a lot of times you know the result is i want a job i need a job or i want a better job that's the result i'm looking for no problem at all nothing wrong wrong with wanting that result however if someone obsesses over the result which they don't control at the expense of not focusing on the process which they do control they may never actually get the result they seek so in the case of wanting the job or a better job what is the process in terms of let's say you're unemployed and you want a job which what's the process you can control how you how you navigate linkedin how many resumes you're submitting on a daily basis how many leads you're following up on who you're asking for you know help and recommendations and referrals you know what sort of job development can you do independently you know whether it's hey if you don't have the money for you know online classes you know doing youtube there's so much youtube classes that you can take for free what are you doing on a day-to-day basis to better yourself professionally and to invest in your job search the more you put into your process you ultimately are going to get the result now let's say you're in a job and you're looking to get promoted now this is something that's very important the promotion is out of your control how because you unless you're the ceo you don't actually have the ability to give yourself the promotion so if you're seeking a promotion or an advancement in your job what do you control you control your attitude you can control your productivity you can control what type of a colleague you are you can control how you make your boss's life easier you can control how well you do your job you can control your excellence there's so much in your control and in my experience when you focus on those things whether you get promoted at the current job or another job you know come seeking you out you're going to get where you want to be because you put so much time in the process let's say you're looking to change a job okay nothing wrong with that but do me a favor if you are currently taking a check remember every time that check is direct deposited it comes with an expectation and if you are not meeting the expectations of the check you are getting it is it is crazy for you to expect that a better job or a better situation is coming treat the current job like it's the job you want and the job you want will be yours soon enough it doesn't matter what it is it could be a dead-end job you could hate it if you hate it so much quit but do not do a disservice to yourself by rendering service less than you are capable of with the excuse i'm over this job if you're over it leave but as long as you get that check don't just meet the expectation work on exceeding it last thing i'll say about professional you do not get promoted by meeting expectations that's the job you're being paid to meet an expectation you position yourself from for promotion and advancement in your career because you exceed expectations you learn what is expected me of me in this position what does my boss expect of me and let me not only work to meet it but let me do everything i can to exceed it every professional advancement that i've had in the entertainment business going from unpaid intern to paid intern to uh assistant to junior executive to more senior executive at columbia pictures to now running my own production company and having deals with major studios all across the business that progression has come because at every step i'm trying to exceed expectations at every step how can i offer more service how can i be more committed how can i go the extra mile not because i need to prove myself to myself i know who i am i'm offering this service because i recognize that the exceeding the expectation is what's going to give me what i want which is the advancement so anyone listening or watching you gotta make yourself a committee of one i am going to make a commitment to exceed expectations wherever i am professionally it's different when we're talking about personal culture and relational expectations but professionally because they're an exchange of money that exchange of money means now you're accountable when you check when you go ahead and spend that direct deposit it means you said yes to the expectation if you don't want the expectation give the money back period but as long as you take that check you got to say all right i don't want to just meet expectations i want to exceed him and i guarantee if you if you make yourself a committee of one to exceed professional expectations you're good you're good you're going you're gonna be i promise you you'll be just fine i love that that was amazing i'm like okay i'm gonna just rewatch some of this for myself hopefully i'm fired like i gotta get back to work um but no this was this was amazing i feel like this your book live free is just a total mindset shift and like i was saying you're just going to be unpacking instead of onion you're going to be pulling back layers and layers and layers things that you didn't even know about yourself uh rediscovering things about yourself rediscovering what you like what you love who you want to be around you don't want to be around and to your point then reaching a point to where you feel free you reach a point of liberation and now you can move towards purpose which i think at the end of the day is what all of us desire as human beings or hopefully we do and that's god's intention for each and every one of us so i'm so excited i'm i mean just hearing you speak i'm like i gotta do a book club with this now i love it so i'm like go figure out i'm gonna start a book club so everybody can so we can all live free i love it give you an update let's do it keep me posted what what's next what's new anything else you want to let the audience know before we before you um yeah no i mean you know this is it you know it's really about the book i mean i'm getting ready to start production on my next movie uh so you know i'm here in new mexico working on that and um you know but very passionate about this message and just want everybody to hopefully um you know be blessed by well thank you so much you guys on sale may the fourth go and buy it go to his website go to amazon you guys know what to do it'll be in the caption if you like this episode subscribe rate and review reach out to devon he's very active on social media so please take snippets tag him into yourself podcast on instagram thank you devon for being such an amazing guest and we're with you nothing but the best god bless you god bless you too thank you leah until next time thank you for sure [Music]

Channel: Leah Frazier

Views: 1,431

Keywords: DeVon Franklin, Live Free, Personal Growth, Leah Frazier, PR Yourself, PR Yourself Podcast, PR Yourself with Leah Frazier

Id: 7dM4VaooaqY

Length: 55min 17sec (3317 seconds)

Published: Tue May 04 2021