Listen To Chris Watts Finally Reveal How It All Happened, With Visuals - Chris Watts Tapes Part 1

every time I pull admire that's I just hear her say daddy no no is it bellows everyday buzz pretty much everything often I think you do that yes feel like go facets top waters student best you can there's good yeah how are you doing is good I didn't I didn't not expect it see this that's what a surprise well let me put some fears aside we're not here for what you might think we might be here for they didn't know what this is a computer I didn't know that without computers exactly so you remember I talked to you Tammy talk to you Dave talk to you we're all Colorado and so the last time we talked to you is a different situation right our investigation is open in your case is over that's completely different now so your paces nothing about what we're going to talk about today it has anything to do and open investigation so we're not here to get more charges on you or get any statements from you that are gonna jam you up anymore right if that's all done so all of our cases are closed and the court case is closed so there's nothing that we're gonna talk about today this can't get you anything pedal and so that's I wanted to make sure you knew that's not why we're here but why we aren't here so so the three of us work from three different agencies right quite a bit different CBI FBI and present different goals and the things that happened with you kind of all brought us together and as the months have passed on since everything happened we just keep in touch with each other we keep talking to each other and we've all separately kind of said it Chris seemed unique to you and the attendant talked about this Dave and I have talked about this in Chris's situation seem different to you and we keep having that conversation we can't quite put our finger on it right we think that your life leading up to all the things that happen we're very interesting to us and for me personally I don't know if you remember but one of the last things you told me was hey Graham I'm sorry that I started lying and that's stuck with me for the last couple months it's a great in my head right I've never ever worked a case like this where someone filming that never you know and so as I walked away I thought Chris is different this is will unique in that regard so I'm talking with Tammy and talking with Dave I said you know what did you feel like when it all went down when we were there we were talking to you guys and we all kind of in our own different way in turnaround and the wording said it all happened a bit too quick for us right so when we saw you last you were talking and talking and talking about your family about your parents about everyone and then the next thing you know for being Tammy and for Dave all of a sudden patrol officers came in at arrest and that was far quicker than we had hoped it to happen and you understand why that happened and we understand why that happened but it left us with a thousand questions that we didn't get to ask and then even more importantly I think it probably left you with a thousand things that you didn't get to talk about this I don't have you feel that way or not but and so that's why we're here today we wanted to kind of talk to you a little bit more about everything you know I think there's a lot of things that you need to talk about and so you know that's why we're here and it sticks with me but to this day there's not one person that's told me I saw it coming I mean Chris is like that I knew it not one person so it's just it's it's interesting not one so we want to talk a little bit about that some of the people that we work with your family Japan's family have said you know if you get to talk to Chris if you tell him something for me so we have to talk about to the end it's good I think you'll like it I think it will give you some closure and so really that's why we're here are you available to talk to us okay so off the bat if you have any questions just tell us if there's something that you don't want to talk about that's okay we might press you a little bit okay you might say well help you mind if we just maybe then ask one question something mention uncomfortable this tell us we need to take a bathroom break if you take bathroom breaks you know anything like that and we'll take bathroom breaks and water breaks ourselves too so then is there anything about your schedule today that makes it you can't talk to us know that this there's like a pass for this and a.m. and the p.m. it's yeah they reserved the room the whole day oh okay I think you have to go back for lunch to get it counted for or something both the counterparty I think but you know that was it here it's a lot was it later bad it's here I'm actually around other people just like I was segregated and it was probably gonna walls on the ice cream and some other people oh really I just telling me about how I should kill myself like what they're gonna do to me today this this is a lot of different 15 people here to know the same took this line they don't care but it's just kind of like they they don't take me like judge you as soon as you walked in Colorado it was like they knew why was there in Vegas how was it there just like they just dad one who second home with me it would have been good they're never nice to be out there I don't come out of jail I don't know what I would like and you know do see there but you know I they had to lock down the jail for me to walk down the hallway Wow okay well so then to make sure you were completely separated from anyone else like I couldn't I didn't see anybody else there like I was I wasn't so next to somebody but like I never saw them I just hear him just so they make phone calls in there too okay and they got the newspaper in there before I got him yeah how was uh have you been able to talk with family Oh like how we get a from 6:00 p.m. to 7:30 at certain times are I might it's not out so we're get to use the phone that Billy and to the charge for their oh it's just like that's like six years okay and how do you make money to pay for that um they put me on the phone oh so if I call like if I was like the DAO of somebody's number they'd have to have like a fun episode of all right I'm just Oprah stricted and then so the who you call pays for it yes oh okay you enable talk like family members parents know that my mom and dad my sister okay good that's good yeah they didn't feel here familiar like it was wrong oh good how is it with them so far so good yeah yeah it was it's hard to hear your parents at sentencing I didn't know if they were going to what they're gonna say and so yeah I really appreciate what they said I don't about you I definitely was I didn't expect him to be there that I know they were there on the sixth yeah and then while we lost it but well so we have 2000 questions I'm sure you do too do you hear if we started to notice do you have any questions for us all right so one of the things that were bad luck with is and I should I won't make any assumptions today so are you aware that this was a national story after after a little I didn't talk to my parents I was in Colorado okay his I mean my 13 told me already no phone calls no luck here so so like I made I made one phone call when I was in the segregation area there but my dad didn't thought it was like someone I can use am I trying to call he didn't answer yes I didn't answer but other than that okay I'm didn't talk to anybody but from what the some of the deputies are saying that my attorney keep coming in and say done this they've got people from Australia time to to this end you need any the letters like fan mail or anything well um I got letters but couldn't keep them like it with me so like I could read them like on my power out but it's like I got a bunch of letters that had no return address stuff that would just no that's not very good mothers yeah they came from a weird perspective good night from what we have heard definitely there is there was one person I guess from Broomfield that was like writing like four times a week trying to come visit me and then there was a lot of people like frightened I was like week two markers saying well I don't we're gonna talk about some hard issues today but I don't intend to take you to a dark place today um I hope that when we're done you'll feel better I hope it'll be therapeutic we're gonna talk about obviously what happens your family and so that's gonna be hard to talk about I appreciate anything you can tell me about it take time out if you need it get a tissue that's fine right I think will be very good for you it'll be good for us and so one of the reasons that's about that national attention is we were aware that you were getting a lot of letters a lot of interests and then us person as law enforcement we got so many people who claim to have no claims who have been with you dated you slept with you and 99 times out of a hundred they were just crazy people and so maybe that's a good place to start had you heard about any of that John while she told me about one talked about Graham and I interviewed him we our lives yes so Trent in summary Trent came in and said met you online on a dating app had a few you know casual but quick sexual encounters with you and let me be very clear not only are we not here at the end you up today we're also not here to judge you and if there is anything like that you can imagine we've heard way worse way different weight you know so if it's true I hope that you just casually said yeah I mean this happened it wasn't as bad as he said but maybe this happened so his story was met online met you and it was a time when you were experiment maybe met and so he said a couple times met his friends went to an apartment had a couple of meetings in a parking lot and that was basically it any that's something like okay alright yeah he talked about being in a your truck with your girls like the whole nine yards so I know you've been a while being driven up there disease yeah and so this is maybe a weird question for you and do you have any gay experience and the interest never at a time experiment didn't wonder okay is it possible that he found you instead of you finding him so much John told me to put me on like that whatsapp yeah because I saw that I had but I've never even heard of the output okay apparently like he told me like I don't do like a rehab center or something no that was another guy it was totally so did you see a picture of him on the news or anything um John so I'm getting pictures okay look well this guy but you just know what's kind of so you saw it and you're like knowing big lips you see the giant lips and he's someone memorable yeah if you met him or talk to him or got to know him you might remember he's he's he was kind of neat yeah but also a little bit flamboyant yeah did they clip or not big lips but injection was very just skincare and makeup and he mentioned that one of the time just as a gift you got on some skincare products mmm-hmm that's up okay you can imagine all the stuff we're dealing with okay so that's one mm-hmm hi Trent bullets there was another gal that you were dealing with Amanda McMahon no don't show me a picture of her oh you did see a picture of her - yeah yeah yeah I like mine that's the same picture you showed me that he's like her either yeah no yeah it's a like a chick-fil-a parking lot rendezvous or something right that's just not tested she's not one don't want you to bully those woman Broomfield not my son okay okay do you feel comfortable enough today to tell us you there were other people as these people have come out for the most part we've not given their stories much credit and so but when that does happen it does make us think you know they're made than others so Nicole was the only one was there ever like a one-night stand with someone else just out of the blue and one and done okay all right it's going to talk a little bit more about the hole so walk me through it because that was one of the things we never ever got to ask you though right we didn't talk kind of skipped on and you know talked about where the girls were fed so what happened there so it was probably around by June first or something that's when I first met her and it was just like a word conversation actually messed with the gas meters that nowhere field and a mouse messed up and I took a door like it's going all of this I fix it you know after that you know we just ran into each other a few times in the office and I think it was probably the fourth time meeting she had asked me it's like when I we were talking back and forth I would say you know we moved here in Colorado or from North Carolina stuff like that and then she's like what's all this week so I can come to cut dig up my phone photo depicts you're like my girls on the phone like oh okay I don't worry I didn't want to ring work like something also get refitted well girl off on that late so but you learn so much way that your fingers cosplay it was literally like I was out the snow one time I went like that ring went off on the rocks there's like a panic he's trying to find out like for a second but oh so after that she left me alone for a couple days and she texts me outside the field and then after that we just kept texting back and forth and there was just you know just like now like she used to working a little rig out dakota thing and we just kind of strengthened stories back and forth but we did and everything and then one day it just kind of went to a different different level and then I never thought I would ever go to that level but she was talking about reading up after we got back from San Diego captain mountain option yeah we were saying ayoh from the 22nd to the 26th and we met up after that's we got we got back and tennis meet up at a park in Thornton yeah towards somewhere oh and after that we just kept seeing each other nice little month of July so let me see this you tell me if I'm wrong you strike me as somewhat of a shy person so when you guys were meeting you look at this kind of very English Ettore like flirting at first okay from both sides yep no just kind of like feeling each other out and so texts and calls more near the integer okay and what makes you remember that it's gonna happen cuz we call each other before I left to go to San Diego oh okay all right at first did you think something might happen I just thought it was just flirting I didn't think of that you see like actually yeah well that's only natural right I mean everyone kind of flirts at work right because relationship between men and when that's different so if you're working with the girl work it's just kind of natural flirt I know I wish I was kind of see it in your eyes that's kind of where the past started isn't it okay I mean if that was like because when I was a few when I went from like a rover to a field coordinator like I would spend more time in the morning town the office trying to everything like situated where we're gonna go everything like that that was a rover anymore out the field and instead of like come to the office like for more than an hour right getting more time to run into her yeah what did she know about you did she know your very first she did once I showed up the pictures yeah I'm at home yeah I'm like you know the home screen so is your wife in that picture or was it just your girls it was just my girls right there but my wife was the like the lock screen oh okay are you aware that she said she didn't know you were married would you think about that it was like just trying to same things trying to know I just tried to and some of my sister said it was like just trying to keep things together this time she's she's she prays in a different way it was just kinda like just like ground control was trying to control everything that's going on their owners I'm sure she got bombarded by all the different sides never talked to her at all no I'm hoping she doesn't like you know ridden me in a different alias or something I thought you did that way oh I know you're not allowed to Tucker no one told you that thing no I mean I would I would expect like I thought like Colorado it said I gonna do see list of like your honor like a victim was can't call me but all but here I'm not sure that's but I just talked to my sister parents some friends of my parents do you wish you could talk to her maybe once just to get some closure just to say okay you know just once yeah like I'm sorry this all happened I'm sorry I'm not sure like what happened like afterwards like what you went through like get like counseling if you're like you know different state if you don't leave everything may be alright if we told her that that's fine do you want a suit unless not to and if she would want to I'm sure she'd answer your phone call more than attorney phone call that she doesn't want to go answer oh so your attorney tried to call her into an answer excite remember I remember whole numbers but after that they figure out guess where she lived they've left a call but this is hard there that she just pretty much I feel like the fit the temp they said she says stuff yeah yeah I'm sure she's getting bombarded and like everyone else so hopefully it's calmed down since but but I'm sure like I just hope she didn't like me like I'm like there's like more mostly for her since she's on the outside hoping it can get that way at some point I'm not sure if she had to leave cotton or not but surely that had been hard she did tonight at darker wizardry cups that's one thing I always like asked my attorneys is like did she have to leave like it you have to do anything work that was one things to Joe so what I was your job oh really where's she Oh like give up like the whole company in the dark I was like yeah I mean Lester working like BB here like oh oh I see you're saying Anadarko thinking looks like big leagues yeah that's kind of that question did you love her I felt like it was true I think it was the same from hurt tell us about the time staff well I mean it felt like it was snow I think like when you say like more up a guy is kinda like I've never like been by anybody before is calc I was the one you know trying to prove could like when I mention and met it was like you know she was always like pushing me away kind of like you know to say for a while right I should yes she was she just got diagnosed with lupus and she was on like a bunch of different medications and stuff oh it was like I guess I was wonderin tight and we're heard I wasn't her type Kressley she she she told me like when she first met she told you that I remember you telling me that it was like when we first met like my cousin's ex-wife set us up you were dressed like [ __ ] weren't you I think that's like you told me yeah I didn't know like that many games so she was family in like shorts and old tennis shoes or something right I shoulda known the doorman you know was it a suit like there's a fancy theater right Charlotte just called the epicenter yeah I think he came like he was going to a like a cinematix know it was like you might watch their normal movie but you can like drink champagne and I have like you know whatever but like yes when she first Amish dude like I supplied his turn and the bartender a little more we had like it was I was persistent trying to you're serious I'm an actor like on the first day like I couldn't eat anything really I was just like nervous oh yeah really yeah she was just like you know chow down she's like like a bird she taught my parents like you know one Slater's dude like this god she's never ate like this how it's like a trash to focus school oh not real names I know it's just like I've always like shaken but um yeah I was always pursuing her and then just saying go finally I just I gone to her like you know I'm always like like with her medications and stuff I would always like she'll like eight miles of medication so I was get like your day hikes and kind of like put them all on that little you know flip open the toolbox you know all that kind of stuff and I would always you know be around her I went to her colonoscopy she'd said after that she knew that was kind of a keeper it's like who goes to office with somebody that's a little soon she asked you needed a ride I'm like sure come on like even that weather watch you drink that nasty stuff all day she's in the clear stuff that's not really taste clear yeah I mean like a great was a great relationship everything's great now you're talking about with Kissinger no with emotion and no like the first the first year you know like a my parents never oh no my mom was always kind of hesitant why baby I guess I've never put this uh never had a girlfriend in high school so it's not like she never like really saw me like Oh interesting so she's kind of watching her baby walk out a little bit because I've not turned 18 I graduated I've never done that at home move back and forth so how old are you when you mention it I was 2010 okay so no serious girlfriends before that not nothing more than six months or so together as if there's some girls here and there but there's nothing worth like the last girlfriend I had enforced and she was just actually got divorced I just never did that it was more of like I was kinda like helping her get through her before us it seemed like no you're the rebound back the rebound guy pretty much but would you say that in your relationships with women it seems to me and you tell me if I'm wrong it seems to me like you're attractive medium or dominant personality the same but it could have been more of the just reserved I mean I'm just kind of go with the flow type yeah that it's like gender usually made all the decisions seem like so I get that on the same yeah I don't know what it is I don't think that's right with you but then I know it's hard to keep bouncing back and forth but and one of the reasons we're here is we just keep telling ourselves just does not fit the mold no no this just it just blow this away what happened right and so we will do a little bit of Bounce about important that's really just get to know you a little better very much boys yah-tchi once yeah all right well remember three or four times probably so then with do you color Nick here Nicole I like all the Dickie there's somebody think you using the coals and that's right I got confused so we're calling Nicky so know what Nicky was it different it just seemed like I was more in control like that never happened she'd actually like asked me like like my friend you know a lot of things and just like what I wanted to do just as new wasn't it very new it's fascinating to me and so did it feel more like an equal partnership or seemed like it yeah okay so then when it was it's date night would you guys talk about it which you asked to go somewhere or would she say I want to go somewhere was it I you know the first time they went out it's a movie over at the orchard over there and I started like hey you wanna go see this movie like yeah and he's got there it was sold out you know probably just a few numbers make two hours so you know just go home but not she just want to walk around in this talk okay oh so that was that was different and you know I think she wanted to go to the car museum Shelby Museum Boulder I've never been there no that's right up your alley oh yeah yeah I was just like those awesome just walk around cars really [ __ ] or so and then you know drag race in and Amir okay I haven't been to a drag race since now Charlotte this like the HR area the top cool car stuff like me and my dad used to grow up yeah go there like all the time and then like explint camping in Sand Dunes National Park and I never I never been camping I always wanted to do it oh really okay she's outdoorsy yes okay yeah actually she I guess every time like she didn't need to clear her head she just go by herself wrong but she's a completely new type of person and relationship yeah okay all right what were you thinking this whole time like in the back of my head I was just telling myself what are you doing like you know every time you know I open up my phone I could see pictures like my wife and my kids what am i doing and then like every time I was with terror it seemed like I didn't think it seemed like it was like like a blinder dozin my face oh and like every time I look back on it like he'll I got pictures of my wife and kids myself and like every night you know or every morning your good night you know like like I have like this book are you stirring for CeCe and I remember that book so I read that to them like every night and like there's some Scripture and stuff hurry to just drive it you know just try to think back but I wish this just like a wish that blind I went on my head my fourth device that would have seen what was going on like you know how was having every I said though you're just out there having fun while you're kids you know where it's like you're on vacation on the site no it wasn't like that but it seemed like that's what it looks like when you're going you know you're going to a camping go on the drag race go on all the other stuff that you have fun - it was somebody else it's not your family just didn't seem right you know with her just didn't seem like I've even seen that anyone over there at her house pretty much every night it was like I didn't have that time at all just really think about literally I didn't like I was only a home from like when I got off work I worked out at dinner and then I don't know where else like I was never I never slept in my house like the whole month of July now talk me through that though when you say if you went home and then you were at her house was that while she now was gone oh okay so you weren't even at your house no this happened so quickly did that was insane I got it like she even told me like she was never like a normal relationship she would never have somebody over at her house like more than like once or twice a week wish you don't like she wanted me over there yeah so this is like that's what it was different like she wanted all that go away I said almost like a I know it's hard I know it's wrong it's Adams I've never met somebody but I was you know maybe met her at work and then it's kept it that way I think we had a time machine hmm I don't think this would happen again Kirkus some people when this happens you like well it wasn't this time a little bit next time or it wouldn't in the next time it's just would that happen with you whatever it happened so quickly if you tell me if I'm wrong you're not the kind of type of guy to take control sometimes when you need to yeah it seems like this is what happened I didn't I think they control this situation it's like the situation controls me right it just happened now I get that venom and somewhat pass it myself and it's like you know their situation I'm at home why did I let that go oh but why I was like like your roller coaster ride that I just kept punching to take it off [Music] can we talk about the hardest subject it's when we were talking the last time they talked the last thing we talked about was where the girls were but we never really got to talk about that night so nothing really happened that night that he's in mourning you know me and Ed she got home like at 2:00 o'clock and so I felt her here in the peasant and I just sound like I definitely didn't make sure I'm a homo to [ __ ] make sure she look like she's in there and I could kind of feel her cops turn around a little bit oh she i I just had a feeling that she knew like what was doing I mean obviously I didn't just like like I never get card you know that guy do not use my actual credit card she uh she started rubbing her hand on me and we ended up having sex but though I guess that was more like a test oh I would have bought interesting okay yeah I guess when we talked when I woke up later on the morning like you know I I pretty much told her like you know I didn't think it's gonna work anymore and she was like what happened what was last night you know gone through everything in my head and make sense and she just told me you know like get off of her and she's like I knew some new there was somebody else in News or somebody else somebody else I couldn't bring it I could just say yes there is somebody else but this second everyone seated kid again never gonna see them again get off me dump her and what was she saying so good like when I climbed in bed that was pretty much like on top pretty much trial in here she thought I was gonna like hurt her or maybe errs because she knew that I'd like to know something that happened I was just trying to you know just to check out [Music] I know it's hard but do you mind if we nothing so she comes home you know she touch it to me you guys had sex it seems like she's doing her test what I understand it's not like you did too I'm sure like you know the gear something cool a Kansan or casi probably told her no that's what I was thinking right they talked about it during the whole weekend more than life but that's my parents told me there was like going through like text messages it's like all like pretty much they all kind of told her yeah she spent a lot of time with the gals that's what they did probably all weekend is talk about it give her advice if events will be found right yeah okay so she comes home you guys have sex and then did you fall asleep between Ben and going to work yes okay so then at some point does she wake you up or did maybe wait nut but we're talking a lot of important oh okay and you're gonna work out but that's when she started talking wanted to talk more she was pretty mad [Music] I mean it was I already kind of knew that using that credit card it's gonna do was that intentional yeah I had no other way to do it Oh like you know I I usually cuz I got these a darkroom gift cards from like no you know doing good something work like that I've used long Oh what was part of me was like I screw it whatever I don't care I'm using this card part of me just one second for this even I think my attorney said she even though I use the different card like a told they're also under Afghan told you told he goes yeah it felt like you know like looking back at everything like just like reading the scripture and one more now I can see like you know God told like gave me opportunities to get out like even my friend Jeremy he even invited me good like it was his daughter that can't watch the kids on Saturday that's Saturday night and she was like hey you just said everyone's going to Rocky game you want to go to a Bronco game watch the hair was on Carly in my mind I was like you know just yet just say hey I can't get find a babysitter you know and maybe that would have been like you know you know life switched up my head goes off by such her head goal of maybe just like goes different directions that was kind of like my last opportunity I wish I would have said yay let's go yeah I think that would have just put me out of different trajectory so then she man did she actually say you're never gonna see the kids man she said to me before yeah that that hard to hear yeah because she'd said to him to first went to Arizona to like I was loosing them bedroom house they bumped out her in the basement she did fire me like only once in our entire relationship I was there like that way yeah and that was the time before or was that on the night that happened no I'm not gonna care line up oh it was one those it was just a fiery courtship at that I never like I never even the police do it or anything like I like I just got mad and I slam the door and she's like is that when you were in North Carolina that last week no it was like maybe it's the best like 2010 oh it was like early early early and it old house before kids yes we're using remarried that one dating oh it was just like I don't remember what it was about I think some I think some people maybe text me like from my past or something and like and don't have that happen again I'm just a prince they're females like I'll even talk to us tonight right that was just like you know what she fired she had that Italian whether her mom has Lord yes it was she always like that or was she did she snap at things yes she would snap at me but you could tell like you know if something something really irked her a little bit then it would come out zero to a hundred type finger way oh yeah you're a lick get two hundred oh she's she gets activate about something just like all right it's gonna have to well that's why she's probably so successful at fried right okay like she done a comfortable there like direct sales business for this one was just like it was different what this one's like I think she done like origami at all and like something called like it works some eggs and stuff like so that is something of stuff it is because it worked her work me she's like okay I can kind of like use this I was like all right this is what's doing for us yeah and then like after a little while like she could see how like people are above her how it was helping them and then it was just like trickle down quick it was like a good system about like no Commission wide and everything and everything was just she could use all the business IQ she has from running those cell phone shops and from very soft custom shops all that she visits minded she knows how to do a county look like yeah back of her hand that all just like fell into place we'll follow up so then on that night with gist a new type of fight they would've never had or why laughs it was totally different I just felt like all those more anger than anything else like there was a motion to it at first and I just felt like you were just anchors of cycling like there was no love there this is kinda like we were saying what she was saying I was just like it's almost like new like something was commending atatatatat each other it wasn't ourselves really anger from your anger for her I think it was more anger for me and more like desperation from her she wanted them something wasn't right like you know like putting the whole thing with my parents happen with her family yeah she Oh ice cream yeah that was like another out like you know maybe I could've just like stopped everything just concentrated on helping like whatever happened there there Shannon had stored them up at Laurie whatever happened up probably asked my 10 year old nephew probably tell me what yeah well they both have their feelings for good reasons and they both didn't see it the other person's away and yeah and like maybe I liked it I didn't talk to my parents from then on until like August 6 and like you know my dad took the whole week off well I love your pants banana yeah oh okay that Goods like Jenny I was like do not talk to them do not call them you not doing anything is that what she said yeah and the CC's birthday 17 but I think the actual birthday party was like a couple days after in August a lot yeah and like my mom my dad was gonna go but then there was like a post on Facebook about you know allergies and stuff like that Nana made went out like now I just can't I can't do it anymore just like this pretty perceived that it's her taking her shopping yeah okay she always said she'd never you know put those posts directed at anybody or I'd she yeah theory to me never did that but yes I wish I could have just took more time just to fix that like I was like I wanted my parents to be involved like since you know what the whole wedding thing and then after that is like my mom my sister always like combative exchanged and combative with them my dad was always cool he's just like me just like you know go with the flow like I just want everybody to a long time deal Shakespeare and lock your dad oh he's the best you say he sold your then I'm sorry keep going oh I just wish I could have like just when we were in who are at the beach in August like my dad was most let's take to the whole big off just so we could see the kids like see me I grabbed a cookout at my sister's house or something and then but we just pretty much spent five days in the beach and shenana my book is select you I mean edits I won't say like a punishment for them not to see the kids like I wanted them to see it I wish I could fixed it all fixed all that I even liked when I was at the beach coast and that it was more like well what's going on was more like I feel like you know my dad's here I feel like I've lost like something in my life I have been talking on 3ds and but it gets me to Pertino FaceTime right and one of them to be able to have that relationship she was pretty much gone like she tried to my daughter I don't think she gave to it but I that was that miss dances that your mom put that put something in front of CC like to kill her or no this is a dislike I didn't care like like didn't pick it it's just who she thinks that allergies and like this state of the page is like people think oh I get to made up okay okay fine he'll just have a rash he'll be fine I seem to see see you know late the first time I seen a picture was ahead of cast you the first time it was Kiwi the second time in it same thing happened and I know it's real do you know it's serious yeah yeah it's not like it wasn't like her throat like closed up but she broke out in this full body rash you look really crazy looking and luckily like you know nothing what a throat like happened but um so did that make you angry to you at your mom for doing that yeah I mean I'm just like my just gotta totally if you need to think you need to like you know pay attention just because another kid could have some time another kid can have something because like we were at that birthday party at Jeremy's that's Sunday know they had this cake there like Bello Ella wanted it so bad I'm like shoot because Cece can have it she's like you know okay and all the other kids like shitty they can't have the cake you know the thing I just got took along the games like I go when the strokes and pops or something you know it's just like she had to learn that just because one cake had something and there's not a kid that can't have it for legitimate reason she couldn't have done it but that's the kind of talk I had with her understand and call me I think it was I'd be like middle of July or something but she told me all does it happen that's when I called my mom and talked to them for a while and then they're just like you just couldn't deal with her anymore and I'm just kind of like you know they like flipped out my nephew told Bella to go hide behind the curtain because I think I'm always gonna let you come over here gay nerds have something like that so they got eat it while they were it was really it was like a last straw in the same room or over the phone no there they were and so they are my pillow moans oh yeah Cece and Bella and Mondays and a few were there okay how did Julian find out about that ice cream thing because a snail was there and I guess they're all sitting on the couch oh it's kinda like at you and my niece winks into the kitchen and she knew with ice cream in there so it's not your mom gave it to her like she's guess you wanted the freezer got it went out from the sub-sites ECU sorry but like it's just a matter of like cz could go like hey right like that now no I'll know what what happened if she just got on her hand right well I got no one like the prick test on him on the back so they stay in there at your parents house during that time yeah it was um so they would go from my sanding Frank's house for like a few days or five days and go to my mom and dad's house a couple days back and forth so happened during that time so there are so many things that haven't worked there they just were little tiny ingredients to this recipe nothing like that's grace I mean it's just so many things just didn't go your way everything looks like somebody was stirring a pot and we're just exactly where it was like so then I know I keep bringing it up can you walk me through that's just the last few minutes before shamanda it was pretty much just I had gotten dressed for work and then like we started talking did she come to you now I was just right there at that table stuff yeah so I was like I got my blue shirt on was she asleep or did you have to wake her up to finish your conversation wake her up his like she she she on like two o'clock so she was well I never knew like it's like if her plane got delayed he's not always told me like she just like sat around with Nicole I'm just like talk for a while but uh yeah when she came home and everything but yeah like I will talk to it oh yeah and is that because I was just eating it here right like I knew like you know something like no like I just felt like maybe like maybe the kids weren't gonna be there when I got home that day Oh interesting now I don't mean to offend but I have to ask is that really the truth I really felt like there was oh she would take them somewhere no I just felt like either maybe I wouldn't go home maybe they were going to be there or I wouldn't be allowed in everything I think I saw some text messages where she nyan talked about that she would take the kids to another state or something because she couldn't wouldn't be able to afford to live in Colorado or something did you say that kind of stuff do you word what did she say about that she said she couldn't afford to live in Colorado on her own and driving was pretty much makes a man I do yeah she wouldn't want to try price alone there was a lot higher than North Carolina and just those are just so I'm clear you thought maybe she was too in your mind he thought maybe she would take the kids somewhere else or like lock you out of the house sir or just like you know I wouldn't want to make a scene like you know trying like I just felt like you know that was what I did on Sunday got like Saturday night last drop I like going out with somebody hard it was like not trying so walk me through it though because she comes home she doesn't say you guys have sex you fall asleep then you wake up for work all natural you know a normal day's work type man what was it that made you think I just can't do this anymore I have to talk to her eating away at me like I do like something I did everything that I did like I know like when I was with Nikki it was different like I wasn't even like in the realm of I'm a dad I'm a tightly oh and then like like I'd like I was saying I'm never at home like sleeping in my own bed like I have no like concept of that anymore interesting it wasn't mine at heart you can live lived on like it was it just it kind of felt like if I wasn't at home like I didn't think about it almost of like but that wasn't sleeping I'm home like I think there was one at one point like Nikki had gone to mouth with her friends for like a few days like into June first hard to lie and then like to know that party no obviously obviously at home but like from that whole month of July on it was like I was never like I've never had all those who my girl I never had you know like every time my wife called me I would be in while she was in North Carolina yeah okay and I would like to know walk outside like next to the car or something like that I would never be a home looking like this have all these pictures around me just being in the same bed you know seeing my kid seeing everything that that we go for less excuse and so if you just want her once and for all get it out in the open I just wanted to just tell her how I was feeling at that point I'm like I didn't feel like me and her were compatible anymore yeah say didn't feel like that because what was going on with Nikki oh just it wasn't new it was new right that's a little bit anything that's new always feels there's a meal yes usually right bitten by the Love Bug it's out there for talked about it yeah there's a site I never felt that I mean even like with me relationships in the past like it always felt different like now the first couple weeks and he'll put it I just was someone icky felt different I don't know what it was maybe it was just like I said like you know I was more in control and like it was more like maybe more meat coming out Krishnan always said like it always seemed I was more myself around other people like you know her cousin Cody like she Cody lived came up visited us for a little bit while we were in Colorado for a little while and Cody always talked about you like home Chris is so funny Chris is like Shannon always it's like me I'm sleep maybe I always smell nervous I'm super there's only so much oxygen in the room right I say this is some people with dominant personalities mm-hmm you know I just always thought Pervis I always felt like I was you know and there it could actually just be nice oh but Nikki it was myself like all the time well and it seems as though and again it hard to talk about it you tell me if I'm wrong but it also seems is it accurate to say that sexually you were able to say Nikki this is what I would like this is what I'm into it with a blonde maybe not a sham now Nikki just wanted all the time I was a little bit of freedom can I ask you something about that morning that you had sex with she means did you feel at all like maybe you were kind of cheating on Nikki by doing that I felt strange I felt like you know the first time I wasn't Nikki I felt weird for something and then the last time I felt totally strange I'm just like I didn't know who I was I know I felt like I become a blessing on TV and that did not feel right with me I didn't know what had happened to me and it's not Nikki even asked me like are you you have to be done this before I've you know straight away I'm like not having thought about it it's like what's the most difference like guess it's just you that's different because I just never actually I've seen girls smile at me before never done anything not it with her it was just like it's like shed the leash not me she took me away as soon as she walked on my well Tammy brings up a very good point I wonder if that last time was an having sex I had a somewhat of a roll and you think I could trigger I gotta do something got to say something we gotta have to talk something's got to change yeah I felt like it would like maybe like a trigger point or something like like say something okay so then exactly what did you say what happened so then I woke her up and it's okay we just got to talk just like I told her I don't feel I can we cancel the trip to Aspen and she booked a trip that week I'll go to some like miss three or a star luxury hotel or something with the two of your whole family doesn't mean hurt okay she had a man to fair couldn't watch the kids that we that we okay and uh I was like can't cancel that can we like do something like what I remember I even said coming moving right just to get away from like this house oh but like I'm not sure if that was like like in the beginning on the end the part of the conversation I would not I conversation with so many different ways like they've gone from like standing together and I'm standing together and so just like all of you look okay so this is half an hour an hour what deafening not more than that okay Oh thing are you crying and she crying she's got a skater's she didn't wash it various but you got home Jeb nincombots dose and mascaras running all over and stuff like that it was nothing nothing about that cops I just wish I could take all of that everything so that when did it turn I started the conversation just at the end when I was telling her like I told her I didn't love her anymore what happened somebody got hurt okay did you say she said something like that you're hurting the baby or something else before that like when I was straddling here it was kind of like around ablaze that I do why did you get on her like that I just got off from down the bed that's just what icon is that so she would listen to you no and you should probably listen to me just laying beside her but I got on top of her and every time I think about it I'm just like did I know I was gonna do that porygon opera really that's an interesting thought Chris you don't know what you just like to know everything that happened that morning I just know I don't know like I got to try to go back in my head and was like I didn't want to do this but I did it everything just kind of like felt like you had to it just felt like it was I don't even want to say it but like I had to it just felt like there is already something in my mind that was implanted I was gonna do it and I woke up that morning it was gonna happen and I had no control of it you never thought about it before it was just like I don't want like one like like just like in the sentencing hearing that prosecutor said it takes two to four minutes something like that to happen like why can I just let go okay feeling like it's in motion and you just couldn't stop it it's like I don't even want to know what she saw was a Becket did you look at her how's she doing why do you think she wasn't fighting I'm memory she was praying maybe shoes I really read the Bible said you know likes you know her description says don't uh forgive these people fully they will not know what they do maybe she was saying that I don't know it was just saying in their head but she know like like we do you guys still can I take off your shirt and step tech for defensive woman like it wasn't gonna be any why she ain't crap could she grab your arms or what we're arms pinned down there now I don't think like I moved toward my knees or Haram her arms or anything they're just kind of like when I got on top of her we we started talking it was it how was it it's kind of like in my head we're like him to back of my head that what's gonna happen and just like at the end of conversation it's just this was I could have what go did it seem like it was that long two to four minutes how long did it seem for you almost gone I felt like it was felt like it was longer almost who felt like time was standing still it's kinda like at the Sun my life she's disappeared before my eyes but just like I couldn't let go it was like somewhere else like I give you pictures somebody else around you holding your hands holding you keep you know how at some point there was a statement of outrage people if you're in a rage at that point the only way I can describe it honestly if it's nap time now I know this might turn it and said like some you know you know strangulation it's more of like a I don't know a passionate type thing it's just intimate cuz you're right and you're using your own hands it's a lot different than someone's standing across the room when you're shooting them or something like that so it's not like somebody like behind me is like it's interesting to me because there is a lot of things in your life that were like that right where you're just like you need to felt out of control or maybe felt like I don't know why I couldn't stick take a step back you know like even when you said when your buddy was like a slow football game wanted to say yes he I want it to be like that I've never been to a football game since Carolina so I wanted to say that yeah I was texting yeah no it was all true can go so than what laughs afternoon namely certificate - itself she's gone and it's just like I didn't know what what was going on say it was like a traumatic I don't know we call it traumatic event typed and everything and like I was shaking I didn't know what happened and know what to do and what I've done and still wasn't in that right state of mind I don't think like like I was them to tow it what I could think of what I could do at that point time and most people say like why I just called 9-1-1 life's like unless you're in that situation you know you don't know you'll know what you would have done it's easy to think Monday Morning Quarterback mm-hmm I agree with that like you said if somebody shoot somebody L know what if wander in mind that point I'm gonna get it done so what happened next so what happened building him in but she said did she hear something is that what you obviously okay what you tell me did that happen with Bella right in that room not what happened she walked in did you take her back to her room put Shannon that shoot on sight okay tear your downstairs back up at that point where the girls still there then she danced in the truck then it's back to the house everybody I can truck but it's Bella first to Assisi boots and the trunk yeah I'm sorry so she Nana's first and then Bella what is next Lissa Bella alive what do you put it when you guys got in the truck oh okay what happened oh [ __ ] okay I promise parks my chests but then at night he'll see us [Music] every time I see [ __ ] no how I'm gonna dad was the best part of my life I took it always I think that it's the hardest part for us Chris's we see those videos we see that wealth that you had for your girls like it's obvious to us and even to us we it's hard for us to understand how a dad who's given piggyback rides and you know making snacks and watching princess movies and those kinds of things how you get to that point you know like the fight back yeah like when that cross to yourself elevator Tom like repeatedly us there's one of this bang my head against the wall so you put shinny on in the truck and then you put the two girls in the truck were they just sitting in their car seats or or I guess they didn't probably have car seats in your truck doing sitting in the back with the like in that [ __ ] so she nan was back there to set on the board what did they say about something being on the floor mommy okay what you tell me did you have your there stuff with them with their toys in there like it's it's time they had that's something that's something with them that they carry when I'm not thinking and cesium go ahead like a blanket or some I get her what about the dog anyone I'm gonna dog right the doctor Jesse yeah when I'm at like a little part in dog what's that with you to you know have like the big blanket small blanket so I think I saw on the video that you put a gas can or something in the back of your truck is that right did you have different plans when you put that in there I don't know I feel like I've made better just get rid of myself at the same time I was doing all this honestly yeah you just think about that what do you think about that was there any thought to the whole family going away that there include you after everything you're not not the devil thought yeah see it's interesting to me we had all kind of wondered if there was a point when you were all together and if you were all going to pass together that to me makes sense just that's even though it sounds crazy that's what the family man does right filament doesn't do what he did no I know I guess what I mean is it seems like you guys were going to be together forever in that way except maybe worth going through your head honestly I just felt like I did whatever judgment I was gonna come upon myself I just didn't deserve to be on this earth anymore - what did you not do that I don't know if it was just more like it because with the with the site maybe it was just more like I would have heard more people than just me and everybody else I know there are other people out there now I got the site but other people like maybe out in the area like I didn't want something like on the site to catch fire and blow up and then other people around would get hurt the same so you were thinking initially about starting a fire out there or an explosion or something or no not not for not for that just like they did take care of myself [Music] yes we must only be I don't like that it was just I wasn't thinking yeah I mean I don't have I don't have weapons I don't I've never hunted before in my life I don't know what I mean nothing will write down one yeah I remember you kept telling me that you kept saying I didn't know what I was doing Tammy I didn't know I never knew nothing about a sheet like what were you doing I don't know yeah I think you're just like an automatic motor seem like to the juice to drive straight out there so what were you thinking on the way out there it's kind of like what I'm doing right now I'm just like no nervous shaking not knowing like you know what's gonna matter yeah they kind of like my life is completely changed I don't know like what's happening like honestly like I try to picture that the whole ride like it's like 45 minutes to an hour ride out there and it's just like couldn't I have like saved my girl's life couldn't I have done something why did I do I don't know right like this is my flesh and blood this is like what I wanted all my life with dad just you know kids and love me they know all that and they're just nothing nothing made sense like the whole tank not to make sense I'm just like do it so what happened when you got out there in fiction and out to place off to the site the what were the girls doing when we are doing that [Music] you know what happened after that [Music] see you first you didn't have a blanket you had a blue blanket ing blanket [Music] so was she alive when she went into the oil thing put the blanket over it [Music] and that's how she passed Fikret I put the blanket over her don't wanna know strength alert right there in the back seat okay don't misspell urdu and she understand that you know as well insane and then same for though without a pocket which blanket okay I didn't look every time I pull it Meyer that's I just hear her saying daddy no no that that's a bellows I hear that every day you go [Music] sorry I'm sorry doesn't ticket back is it possible that in your mind you didn't want that to suffer throughout their life was this like a mercy thing I mean you can say that like after the fact but it was just like I don't he didn't feel like that during that just didn't felt like it was just like an anger with Sheen and everything that I was just taking it out on everybody that was in front of me that morning yeah you kids going out with growing up without their parents statement mean depending on what grandparents or whatever they whoever they grew up with seemed to be fine they it was just sleep it was an anchor thank you to the safe probably you so angry at Union about I could be good pinpoint it nothing nothing that makes anybody to want to do this you could be angry at your spouse like your whole life but you should have never done anything like this you should never let it get to that point don't let it get to a point where I never I mean I've never been angry before like this is like the epitome of being angry yeah the epitome of like showing the rage that pitted me of like losing losing your mind I mean even like some people in here said do like the heck happened that's a pretty snap like just like you know it's I don't see it my mind how it could like I look outside every day I'm like what could we be doing right now right now I have a five year old a three year old and well it might be a one month old son bit of wood it was like right now it's just me I watched that video of you finding out that Shan was pregnant don't seem excited you seem like kind of in charge and yeah like oh it was already complicated and now this was like when we had talked about like a couple weeks but I haven't fat like Bella it was like we almost gave up trying this about me like a secret Artur than my car and then with Cece feels like we have to try I try and then finally but with eco it was you know once or twice and my two layers pregnant does that what happen yes and just like it was more like surprise scared like wait what we just thought we just have we just talked about this like you know you know people have brought up the fact like oh she she was quite pregnant before or like you got to talk about obviously like it was insanely fast I give it that like that's the only reason I ever gave that notion like even the moment thought that was like bastard any other time issues you've got you just didn't seem happy like you know what I mean like I mean like I remember the baby of months I know she's wearing like a hoops we did it again shirt I think and I was walking on my cooler or something I don't remember like I'm actually like actually watching the video of the light I could see I guess your eyes see you like didn't seem like she was jumping for joy type yeah it didn't seem like that did you watch the one of when I found out about CC it's a totally different yes yeah it was the bellows in the crib and had that addiction that was oh yeah I think he told me about it yeah I never saw him though yeah I picked up Bella and spun around and this time it was just me and she had and she was in the kitchen oh no like I don't free what data was maybe like June 3rd or 5th or I'm not sure like what native look at the video but maybe I already felt guilty about talking to meet you at work yeah is that the potential timing does that make sense okay I don't remember the video updated video was but a new link I kind of met Nick you're on thank you first I do like the words only saying that are you mean like went on a date with her no no I didn't oh oh your sleep flirting stuff I mean it was natural working back backwards and that was just like I just I knew that like with that video time if I just looked like I was like don't guilty for even talking like over you probably did yeah did you guys fight before you and Jillian I know you talked about like I'm not really raising your voice and stuff was there cuz I want to see it didn't a neighbor talk about them fighting him yeah but that was that was embellished and exaggerated attractive okay I ended up doing did you guys ever fight did you ever was there any domestic violence in your house like this is strange to us you hadn't heard of you I mean yeah she isn't bad when she's pregnant and grabs a knife or and no like scratches here smacks you around or nothing she's never like literally at all was that did she ever make you feel like she belittled you or he felt me little I heard I mean there's always points like in her head of marriage we're like to know that dominant person like no takes the polar Trevor thing but like now just my whole life I just kind of wanted to flow like yeah I never I never like put myself in the center of the pinch and I didn't want to be yeah I just kind of I just wanted to be in the back row [Music] if she did the little me I couldn't make a point I think that one time she never know I mean I mean I always knew I was like you know the introvert and she was the took control most situations like people came over like you know I knew what I was yeah like I watched videos it's like like cleaning or she'd make like tower falls or you know or like protein ball yeah you just don't seem like you want to be in those videos so like you feel like I feel like you were reinforced to me in those videos and correct me if I'm wrong but I mean I did it because for her good nice for the purpose and this is shown like it was [Music] see that's why I like the whole like the gender of real thing I was just like I didn't want it to be like some oh but like I just I never wanted to be help there I know I'm like well you know what she was we talked about this a lot Tammy and I today even when it was you know I think was Florida on some level or thrive thing and she's like here we are and it's all expenses paid and I was like I'm really gonna be thinking like he is not into this video right now no you know to look into any other videos I'll be honest I wouldn't be there yeah yeah I mean I remember you talking about like she would even post up for you like oh your tightness to Hillsman to Lavelle upside it's like she put me underneath her and that like anything like any of my friends or stuff like anything I do what L heard right so it was just outside their pictures like take a picture with your patch okay send it to her and then she she wouldn't see it eventually she was like I need to take more control over like their business and stuff obviously oh right like if I want em to talk about talk to somebody at the mall or at the pool or somebody about this I just stumble over my words and just like they'd be like okay bye yeah I'm not Jesus juice and she could sell everything you're wearing back to you right and you know it's like yes those videos were not me you know like she won't say Oh could you tell her no could you say I don't want to be in that video or is that an option I mean it's like you know should have been like oh this is still you know help our family this is for you know to help this it would just it would make her bad I wouldn't start that it's cuz it's for the business it's for the family I was just gonna try to help out over again did that actually make money mmm so not only just more sales but it actually put money in your guy's pocket mate probably I mean that last year as much as I did on commissions basically okay I know that's the simplified version that was better yeah I mean it's a they don't think right stop that was like the good thing and they pay for your car mm-hmm good to give you and they're lettin her an allowance or something to buy yep let you mean you're a certain level like a twelve care above they give you car allowance once a month not sure how they do how they made money owners doing that unless they're just like a same markup on the product which I probably that's it that's right they're much much it cost them fake it yeah did you feel like a different person wearing those patches especially like the duo the burn I mean a fellow I mean like the Apple watches like if you look on it like gonna tell you to exercise those exercising like all day it's my heart rate look like oh oh just from those badges there's both caffeine anyway they just have something if they had something I mean that have the black label ones the longer black ones they snow cedcap again but never have that effect I'm going to do Auvergne ones the ones that are more like the fat loss type it was I could it felt like I was working on all day even though what about retired I mean I know that someone's out I mean even Nicki said that like you know I fall asleep on the couch on her couch while I was talking to her and then like pick back up like I was like I never knew I felt sleep but I'm not look like Simon saamiya thing or what I wasn't see we had a lot going on then those are the only patches I really felt like a little bit different song just because it felt like a little work on all day you don't feel like they changed her personality or anything like that though I do you know I know that I just felt different on those and the other patch it was but like I just go longer and longer each day and I'm not sure like if that was a pop that was flying a bad thing I don't think I was by statement work three hours a night so would you stay in it when Shannon was gone would you stay with Nicki and then go home for like to get ready dad just wake up at like 4:00 4:30 go home get ready for work just worked out when I got back home what were the conversations with Nikki as far as at some point you guys were talking about her helping you find an apartment so what did you guys talk about as far as your future together that didn't really happen so like I got back from back from the beach sided told her like I know I lied to her like hey you know like I don't I gotta talk to Stan about getting a separation and that talk hadn't happened yet I mean it would kind of like not when she knew something's going on they knew we were seated in the same room with it she's you know she even mentioned the fact like hey you know Colorado's big Vinny state or something like that but you know actually I was late yeah and so conversations to do Nicki I get it I mean you're telling her like the progress for the divorce is a little bit more than it was and then still what were you guys planning so it was more like she's gonna have to find a apartment that was affordable that's kind of just around like brightener maybe she's supposed to work like dinner or something around there doesn't kind of like where my area was did you talk about Reuben with her she did she didn't want that she didn't want that would you have done that if she would have been cool with that they only been really seen each other like almost like a month later they just talking about two months out it really does she she called her house like her apartment like her I don't know like her kind of a shield or kind of like her she had another word for it but her safe place yeah I guess they lives or something like that and like you know people like to invade it but that's why she always let me come over because she said she felt like it was oh it was fine like their knob like me everything she was that you know I'm here type thing okay so you and Shannon did you did you and talk about selling the house and what what point did you yes it's an email about then about like how we would go about like mouse yeah I think and told her about you know get like Amy was always about getting pre-approved just like you know like if you're gonna sell your house get pre-approved for like another house so it's like to know much faster guessing quickly transition when did that happen remember thinking it was either right before we left no that happened been like first we go I guess somewhere around there I think she may have contacted her so plan was maybe to buy a house I think he told me in Brighton think about buy a house okay this like how will she like that uh that Adams 12 I think I think it's a brightness what were you thinking about when you called us to school that day Monday I was freaking out I didn't know like I was thinking in my head like what I just did what I've just done and I didn't know like it looks even feel stupid to do anything it's called school to call and they call anybody I mean they were right to be you know suspicious about anything looks I knew I probably sounded eccentric on the phone and out of out of sorts yeah I don't even know what they're thinking they hurt me I think they thought I was weird but I don't know how you would not sound weird you know like you said so so I knew one of the sent sure the girls were still around and alive when you drove out so that's completely accurate did nothing nothing else about that they they got in the truck okay [Music] we're get the blanket go either problem the trash it wasn't like do a steal my truck okay we thought we saw some GPS where you would stop buying their construction have roll off dumpster is that true or I think I think that's like I dumped my clothes in there so does that one down on the way back to the house my neighborhood yeah when officer kunafa there's a lot of those red construction dumpster more than likely did you pack new clothes how did that work I already have something there it's like okay see I like a spill or something Oh giving a crude oil on your you know yeah I'd like to have like you've had like two pairs of boobs in there and just because like I just one time I had a spill and that defrost on and I had like a headache like two weeks cause it's like the crude oil that come so where did you keep them after you took them off like do you just change out there into your new other but it wasn't that on the way back when you were coming like you had already worked the whole day yeah well I worked like 11:00 or so yeah it was bad well when it go a consume no one Jew or Bella's gone do mouth at the house right did you think right then like well [ __ ] like here we go or what was that I didn't know why she was there I was like I didn't know like maybe maybe she had an appointment or something oh [ __ ] what did you think like that day like what you were gonna say like what was your plan were you just gonna go home and be like report to the police that your family's got her eye like once I had no idea what was gonna happen after everything I mean I don't even know how I was even acting even though all the people that holes around that's when like Troy and Cody and Chad and Melissa and all they're like when they showed up on the side we didn't somebody to go hearing what I was saying but apparently I shouldn't I didn't know what was going to happen like I said this wasn't like something like some criminal minds I think well I thought out yeah at that point so once the girls were gone was it also just a minute-by-minute thing as far as the oil pens yeah I didn't know what what to do I mean I'm just thinking about an oil tank this makes me much fun so uh and what's that just because it was in front of you and there it was and just presented itself it wasn't a plan for him okay was there any reason why the separate ones not just like it was like go on the stairs didn't like what Frank said it's like I was trying to separate everybody s now no oh yeah I didn't want to separate anybody but was the reason I can't even tell you it's like I can say like something else was a control of what I was doing in news like I was doing something in my life did you think there would be less chance of someone finding them if they were in separate tanks or whatever whatever my reason he was in my head that day with what sounds and nothing's right and you don't even remember thinking about it it was just like it was like every action something that I wasn't even thinking yeah you talk about the trash bags remember that oh no - oh okay yes trying to cut like this cheap cuts I didn't want it when I was putting one cool here I guess some thing I had like I didn't want the girls looking at you man while they're in the backseat so what'd you do trash bag ahead so they didn't have to see and they were just too little to kind of figure out right I there's no like when I was driving up there and you know they were just you know sitting there just you know kind of asleep or kind of just like you know holding on to each other laying in each other's laps you remember have any thoughts or thinking about why not just putting them all together pushing in a lose happening sometimes I had no I really thought that was my own that wasn't like dutifully trying to separate anybody passing away trying to keep anybody separate I know everything everything you know Frank sandy Frankie said you know like I don't hold it against them and they can take me for they have a right to hate me for the rest of their lives see them yeah yeah facts while we're on the subject I I speak with them weekly and I told him that we were gonna come here and then hopefully would speak with us and they told me to tell you understandably they're you know they're devastated but they actually said that they they love you they still love you and and sandy explained it you know he's he's a son son in law for 80 years I can't just turn that off so they don't hate you South American here's a yeah well and I can tell you sandy was was was the one that was most resistant to penalties in this case she said that she told me that at the very beginning she didn't want that Scott decision it's not her decision and then she told me that even then so it's not just a one-time thing that she has said it to me it's been over the whole courses event so that's probably one of the most honest thing someone's ever told me so it's it's pretty amazing faces she's gotta be sitting or so mine I get it so I understand it that's amazing here's that yes good people I would have figured they would hated me for they don't I mean yeah anybody would think that I certainly would but I have to admit I was surprised they take them back by that [Music] well this there wasn't any of your coven hugger they just they said they want to know you know details is any closure and that's really all they want I want to keep it private I said absolutely yes I'll talk to him about what you told us just so they could put it past them because they have a hard time trying to get past it all and I think that may help just no closers my parents still think you know I told him I was like guilty for a reason great and like I told it to them when they have that video video phone thing Colorado the day before like they're guilty but guilty clearly I got it and just you know I knew other people were watching I didn't just go and just say like they seem to take it okay what made you do that curse what make you plead guilty I didn't want anybody else to you I didn't want them to go through this for two or four years I don't want my attorneys the live form Union for forty four to four years like I mean they would have done anything I told them it's true that's what their I'll see how they can do that like you know that's what attorneys do like they take their defendant and they say like what happened okay we'll go with that story like I told him everything I just told you guys and it's just like they just and they got together really like all of you know if they ever wanted never offered a plea deal what you ever wanted I just think it's dumb like yeah yeah but if we can end this end it like I was like in September I told him that really yeah they like but you know it was way too early and prosecution was still did when their best guy used to grab an edge riddance and all kind of stuff but that wasn't even on the table so I think it wasn't I could not Halloween dig that's one of the prostitution went to the frank insane bring themselves it's talking like if we can end this and yes they were surprised that it would just be over we were all in shock and I know like yeah I was like it's like weird 100 miles network and then we just hit a brick wall like that's what it felt like to all of us so I think obviously you had more time - yeah yes I told I told John Payton Sofia and everybody Amy okay if we can just stop this like I know it's you know everybody's telling me to fight like this you know there's no light there's about saying there's like it not enough evidence to this I don't want people to after it's for Frank and everybody I'd have to fly back to Colorado every single time and get reminded of this like I'm sure it's never gonna go away but I actually have to come and talk about how other people talk about it have you know panel three of you get on the witness on the witness stand say it's you know what they saw what they've seen you know with what they heard on tapes and everything like that it's just like I don't people who live that over and over over again for four years if I could just in this for everybody and then like there's any closure at all taken you know it could start then instead of like 20 22 I know he'd only get worse for everybody so did it have anything to do with you not having the death penalty no I mean honestly like when I was sitting in that cell I felt like I should I I mean I was listening everybody telling me like hey if you do this mist you can hang yourself in that cell you couldn't do this you were like telling you stuff yourself in the toilet if you wanted to hold it hold up or something like that it was something they've been there bunch of times and like I was at one point I was listening to yeah I was like you know you know I just felt like maybe I get maybe there's a different purpose from here somewhere maybe it's here I got afraid to God every day that he would move me away from Colorado like it moved me away from the U of C near because I just knew like they were saying there was a hit on me and said if I was going to a do see in Colorado like I'd last the weekend have you dead because like the games and all that kind of stuff so like I just felt like God moved me here for a reason now hopefully I can help people that way look like I didn't want my family I don't want you to answer me all our friends like you know having to go through that it's after a while I knew it was like this stuff was everywhere and I knew like all her Drive friends everybody that was just like it was just they were just broke did that halt hold in the harvest a little bit bigger at the time I didn't want that I knew would have gotten worse I didn't want I didn't wanted to get anywhere sonority was here we think about well you know it could be very believable what I told them it could be very believable fetch and ended you know and the girls so maybe if I tried to convince people that maybe if I fought with my attorneys on that maybe I could lessen it somehow did you ever think about that I've never thought about the story until you got interested yeah I wondered I never even known about the other things you did so what did you think about it once it got mentioned just like I just went with it like you know I knew my dad was out there I knew it was like you know I knew they would probably believe it because you know my mom and my sister just never really like [ __ ] and I knew her like you know do all this like I got letters from some of my friends you decide you know you know when we have one with your house we can see you know dominant personality didn't work like no you know you're always open with the kids and everything just you know you're a great dad and everything we can see you know a couple things that I never saw her you know what not even my best friend marketing said you know there's always know something know I didn't really get wishin and I was safe nobody ever told me any other stuff little papers but yeah it was I never thought about that story and you know that's my attorney for going with and then like I think it was probably the second week I told him like what it really happened what they say after that they're quiet they're writing it down they were they did something wouldn't judge me so I told I told him everything that happened and they you know appreciated like I guess you know most of times dependent or they're like tell them actually what happened now they just you know all right get me off get me out of here this is what happened I told him what happened I didn't want them going if this was going to go like anywhere in course I didn't want them to be under a false pretense and like get surprised Thunder like there is probably things that you guys probably knew that I mean if I if I just kept live I lied to them and to some time instead what happened that it was like made them look you know foolish and stupid and just like now I'm prepared and I'm just like this is what happened and they they appreciated me telling me tell them that so now they they would be prepared and that's when they were saying like you know that if it was ever you know if we ever went to them the prosecution say we could end this and you know there was like wasn't her phone found on the couch or between the couch cushions like did you play all that stuff he just threw it over why did you do that I don't know what was called that morning like even like you know who watch your phone like I don't know that was actually like I planned this I would probably take it out to the field you know learn about her ring and stuff what were you thinking about that it's like no she wanted maybe she actually really wanted to divorce no she didn't want to fix it she took it off or did you take it off okay oh so that would look like she was saying I want a divorce I'm leaving it here when I'm taking off I see so the phone and her watch and the couch was that deep that morning before you left to go to surgery that's I think of the coldest Sun yeah what other things did you do that maybe we even missed I got through the therapy book she wanted me to read that was that morning probably were you trying to make it look like she threw it in the trash did you go down to the basement I thought the basement door open yeah the doors open yeah so there's a lot of movement the garage door open you know what I'll just say that okay so like the base man I'm not sure I mean handle you have down there's my workout remember going down there for anything or opening that door for anything did you think about well maybe I'll take her out that way or is it a walkout basement wasn't your house I don't think it worked out that morning like where you packing your lunch in the kitchen like you do all that normal stuff okay [Music] I remember birthdays unless I just worked out that morning had a tournament I don't think it did so one of the more listen for the trash bag down there that you got trash bags in there maybe maybe maybe it wasn't even garage do you normally carry a roll with trash bags in your truck so there was a hole yeah I might maybe I just grabbed it and brought it with him you know no would have been kept in the basement maybe oh I'm sorry what were you saying grab one of the more kind of poignant or tender moments and all of this was seen with your dad what was it like when you picked him up at the airport [Music] there was it was very strange oh please it was kind of like I almost knew this by the last time I'll ever see them on the outside I might add I knew that yeah [Music] would you guys talk about honestly like you just wanted to talk about sports he just wanted just like you know heating he's always kind of like you know distance himself from like like a problem time thing like you know when like if it was ever an issue or anything like that he always went so well like just bring up like what I would try to get him to quit smoking like all the time like this after like I graduated high school would not do it hey you talking about cigarettes yeah and he would always like just change so Holly whatever happened to grace just something I mean he just never wanted like you know he said okay you know I'll get to it in this boom something else and you know I just kind of felt like it was kind of like that you know like he may be asked like a few questions like you know you know where they're at and you think you know think you know where they're at everything like that and then like start talking about this one song about sports and just like normal normal things you just kind of I'm not sure if he maybe knew anything it you know maybe he kind of figured out something maybe haven't just wanted to talk to me the Sun is it possible if he saw that you were in a stressful situation and wanted to do what he always did things comfortable he knows good way to put it I'll bet you picked up a lot of that [Music] yeah stressful situations like that I mean the great hair them so it felt like God time to be in stress but you know it's like no I worked on cars there's a lot of stress it's always you know it's on commission you know you get pay we can do not by showing up you know that doctor was a little less stressful you know I got paid just to be there what's your dad's marriage like yours and Shannon's marriage is furnace-like your dad was tomorrow passive lon your mama mamas always the wardress was she like Shannon in a way I mean were you attracted tition in because she was kind of like hey my mom and dad's relationship was sorry it was like it almost mirrored like her mom and dad's relationship honestly because their dads like my dad they're both like kind of calm cool remember I could see that her mom it's very sandy rules that roost oh yeah yeah Barry and it's just like I kind of related it to that her mom always said like she she always told man that she wouldn't marry somebody else kind of like her dad I felt like I was kind of like at that I wasn't loving like you know I couldn't build a lot of things he could but our personalities were kind of like you know I was always though I think he really liked me the first time he met me because it's like I was helping helping Shan with this uh she had got this car from the dealership this year that she worked at and she was out around I felt like you know the wheels went to fall off and I pulled over where her dad was and I was like I got him he did jacked it up and I was like no time to fix everything he's sitting like any other guy she ever dated would have just like stood by and watched me do it and so I think that's what he really liked kind of kind of like me 15 it's just like I was I was always wanting to help people not hurt anybody well then you help they're all through lupus and you're at the going on there being your death and up the card yeah I mean every time I share that issue with like Harvard at the dirtiest augusten like not just out to work see what had to do with it you know do whatever I could to help yeah well I think one of the reasons Frank and Cindy work so well is because Frank let's stand in Sandy yeah and they probably won't start on you that you legend Abington in yeah I just think you know I didn't I didn't try to change her right I got just let her be you know who should come home she knows what she wants she didn't go get it yeah I didn't say hey you know you can't do that and that's what at first husband told her he tried to be Santa and she she turned into almost like me she was like she just kind of like I can play it back to this colleague let him do what he did she learned after that but she just be yourself then with me she definitely herself yeah so that's how it worked so you think your dad at any inkling because I'm trying to remember the timing he showed up and you were still walking around you weren't in any trouble yet when Ronnie came in yeah I was I had met with due to that for like three or four hours and then I was at Nick and Amanda's house and that's when I went to go pick him up okay and you picked him up it was really that morning right he was like 10:30 everyone's flight came in okay and it's so from there you guys probably drove home and into the police station yeah and the talks there were no type of confession from you okay no it was like just wait that's all I'm like you know like that barbecue joint chemistry no it's good you told me you never looked he didn't I wasn't lying he's faithful he was oh how he lasted that long without food we ended up giving them soon yeah okay yeah he was great and the reason I ask is because when I look back and watch the video now knowing what I know after talking you today I can see how genuine he was but I just didn't know if you guys had come up with some sort of plan if I had told him anything you had hired somebody to tell them that way I think you're right he would have still love me in a way but he would have told me we need to tell you like right now yeah you know I mean I didn't think I was gonna be there for 14 or hour-long it was like 10 hours here in there a long time yeah but it was he would have told me this the same did you know walking in there that you were gonna tell us or did you think I didn't I mean I knew there was a reason you brought me back and I know it well for the we're just think about the polygraph what do you say that I don't know how you do that why you said that because 10 is a torture I'm not I like honey good answer oh you asking me questions for like well like three or four hours beforehand and then you do the polygraph and it's like you just break down some my brain to where you're like tonight sure what hello and it's just like I know it's it's you guys have a job you have a plan and that's executed she's there alright there's no there's no way to get out of there without the crew no yeah I kind of knew like we're just right when I be asking about like Saturday night there I told you brother walking out she was like well we did so we found out about Nikki right before the polygraph I figured that out after after with meeting with John and everybody that yeah she had met with somebody from the CBI like to like on the 14th or 15th I was just like okay so York knew we didn't know how extensive it was but yes we yeah I mean I walking in there that day just walk into that room I knew I wasn't walking at all yeah just a just the feeling I had walking this thing I mean I don't remember if the polygraph stuff was already in there I think it was it was yeah I knew it I just felt I just feel like sometimes when people you know do do the bad thing and they stay like some part of me thinks well I think they're here because they really want to tell us what happened because it's not normal that you want to keep all that in like that just kills people on the inside and I could tell it was killing you that day yeah I mean it was like that 13th when I slept in the house it didn't know I didn't know anything yet slept maybe like two hours but it's finally just got some tears fell asleep laughter now at every light on I didn't nothing felt right what were you thinking about during your media interviews I didn't want to do it why did you do it did you feel like you had to do it I felt like you know they would have just kept knocking on my door if until I answered it and like I didn't even set it up but you know hacking something set it up she told me she doing it said that she said boxing over your house it's 10:30 like what okay and you know I think I even call even called you about it like what do you recommend that I do and you like okay and I called one of her friends you know what should I do she said probably wouldn't do it but I just felt like I don't even want to know what I said what I looked like on there because under some people said I just I just made a look at the worse after the fact but it didn't look good I I mean obviously we can't say oh we knew right then he was lying but I think we all watched it together and what this might be bad I had that feeling after I watched it I could kind of see it in her face it's like I was just flying to more and more people and there's a sight I just do you have internet access here now say still get into that traffic 40 minutes what trap out social media to trap them all now they don't I think some of the GP guys are getting like these little like tablets or something that are like oh thanks I don't know we're getting service which is weird yeah I didn't think we would yeah yeah right maybe this is kind of like a hub spine computer room you know did you talk to Nicky afterwards after all this happened oh yeah big unfortunate what was that conversation with it was the 13th it's kind of like you know it was more text and then maybe a phone call and then she thought maybe she'd like took off with the kids like just you know because I thought I was talking I didn't know where they were all that in the 14th is she kind of like I think she kind of thought something may have happened because they had to come back why do you say that he might have thought that heard you know she kept asking me like some weird question it's like she kept asking my questions that only I would know but she was testing see it like it was actually me on the phone like look at me likes your ass like you know like what's my dog's name or like what do I like what you owe this to here do I go to or something like that just like like I just answer ladies and then like another think about I'm sure I'm not sure it was this you just like okay is if so textures are super close okay so she wasn't hearing your voice with me yeah is it possible she thought you'd been arrested and we were on the phone either she had my phone or somebody else have her along like maybe no maybe she thought it was hopefully Shannon would know all the answers to those questions right no no this is that Nicki asked me yeah but if she's asking you naming your dog and what yoga studio and yeah it wouldn't so she said maybe she thought you know I'm a health witch and she was it's time to find out who she was really something some of the some of the conversations like on the 14th got a little weird I think that's when she met was see the others they're at the I'm not sure if I'm the first so she talked to you after she met with no ohsho it's like she told me like this is the last time they're probably here for me I'm going to stay at my friend Jim's place going on she said not to contact her until this is done still made you believe everything I didn't delete everything okay I'm not sure why didn't delete anything but probably helped you guys out but she told you to delete everything delete all conversations did she let you I said to leave it I don't think you can ever defeat a text message we're pretty good against excuse did when your dad came in one of the person you guys talked about he said you know kind of finally that cheated on our cheating on Janice on your dad didn't know until that time no they when I was in North Carolina on August 6 when I've spent most today with my parents and the sister like you know they uh I told him like something like this thing just work like for it with what happened with the nuts and everything and they're not be able to see the kids you're like you know this is the first time they had talked to me and pretty much okay she went three weeks except right yeah cuz she Anna told me to call him while I was in at the beach just blew everything out because she was like all right whatever's going on your head need to fix this but she didn't want me that she didn't want the kids to see him she didn't want to see him and then like when I did see him longest sick laughter I went and saw my grandmother she's in a nursing home and she still wouldn't let me go see my parents or anybody with the kids so I just sort of leave me there and my dad I can pick me up and you know spend the whole day there I just they did they were I said they want to see the kid they just don't know if they could ever like know is forgiven and for everything that happened that day I guess I mean I'm not sure like everything that was said that day when they had that argument but apparently it was like a knock-down drag-out like pretty hurtful things yeah I guess so and they just don't know like if they could ever forgive her or not I just like God I never told him about like cheating on her like they did they have masked man's or somebody else oh did they really yeah I think it kind of sets maybe stuff was going on Thank You second time over there hello they can kind of see like I was texting somebody but it was like the cat maybe they maybe they kind of knew even like when I was in San Diego talk my friend Marc I told my mom Nikki if I didn't tell him like I was okay I thought you know I was trying to like I should have just told my then maybe that would I know maybe he had he had an instance where there was a girl coming after him then she even she was engaged and heating it up getting with her and then they you had were together and then she cheated on him is this before it was married or during like Dede Kika you know helped me I just [Music] a lot further along than I wanted to that's it you say I think about right it's exactly give me some good advice hey everybody now this is my friend Mark oh well in San Diego oh I got to do you think he told mark about them hoping he'd he made me question about it well I was no Martin up that's the best friend enough grew up with him since I was like eight nine years old so like I he had been married before and it didn't work out yes they were stationed together or something like over in Korea and I was after that this kind of just came out with like the whole story like you know like I just told my daughter this girl at work yeah you know I've been talking to I just this distancing myself from her but that wasn't the case I was just letting it you know exponentially get worse my kids in like a little mad look right it's the back of look and like don't like fall in that trap being you're gonna be alone for five weeks and there's other times I wish you know like maybe she didn't have to go away by weeks maybe we all just went for one week only I mean five weeks alone that's only reason really that wouldn't even allow that there are quite a few people who would tell us and who do tell us we need to look into nickiemoore making us injure all the way from the extreme end of things being Nikki's work ordered the hit she was there I'm in the basement there you know so the extreme is she's the one who told Kristen do it she's the real problem all the way that's the extreme side and then all the way to well there were in these texts where she was infatuated she was in love she was saying how good Chris was in the sack and maybe we should look at her more you know what would you say to those people and she she had her moments where I had to talk her like off the ledge kind of deal what's that mean like I guess after the fact there was like videos of her that she was like recording herself because she's like my father or something I know that but there it's like and she would get worked up about nothing she would just like she came to my house once because I think it was like July July 4th I I don't have to work that day so I didn't like get up at like you know 4 o'clock and go home and she called me like 10 times out of here because I sleep and she was pissed she was an analyst and like I called her dollhouse I like what are you mad like what that's like I don't have to work today is like called me it like you know by 30 years like the kids gonna talk to you at 7:30 I'm like like I was sick which is like she just like like you know but don't know where you're at now and that insightful me when I got go and she was like okay then you come back god it's a wait a minute you kinda lost me there for you at Nicki's place again should aunt called you yeah okay and so you were sleeping in her bed yeah cuz I wasn't going worked out there cuz I got I did after that day okay first holiday right off and she was pissed you know kefka's Nicki after that I just got left but I think that's when she uh I'd called Nicki later and she was like you know she kind of realized that you know she'd always be like you know ii ii ii Phil okay and I would come back that this man calls she was already pissed so it was stuff like that where she would really like she would go she she said she would go on like websites and look at like role or relationship work with somebody like well a mistress work well a mistress turned through a relationship that's what Nicki was looking at dinner she would tell you that are you okay yeah she said that she would go on websites and look at some just the like why just wants to other people with experience but like so that confuses me though because I thought earlier you were saying she thought you were heading toward a divorce so why was she looking at itself but this was this was later on oh like no in August like that first week on August when I told her like no I've had that talk with her about separation uh-huh that's when like Julia start looking at like apartment and stuff but like during our July relationship type thing that oh I see that's what she was looking up like you know actually for work I sure hope I should hold her friend Brittany about it I guess Brittany told her not to do it but she said she already knows and so are those people absolutely wrong about anything she was asking you to get rid of your family very sure and no part of any of this was because she put it in your head or asked you to or never I mean this whole this whole relationship contributed to it sure but she never never it wasn't ever like I wish she didn't have kids I want to have you know kids of my own with you like she wants to me she never knew if she wanted to have kids but she said that no at one point she said I could give you a son what did she know that she nan was pregnant with a boy no did she know she was pregnant and why is that he just didn't tell her I didn't know like because we hadn't met but she didn't put that on Facebook that's like how did she not see the animal maybe she didn't she just wait for me to tell her or she put another can I ask you a lot of people what was that Nico was actually named - damn I should have thought of that yeah I actually I wanted to start like any ko I thought it was like go that way but she said nico nico nico is it's more of like an italian time again so and I just didn't leave her did she name all the kids she need Belen so let's yeah Bella because of Italian me beautiful Murray domain Celeste is her grandmother's name Catherines did you have any input in their names like that was like I was like if we have like if we had at their child you know I was gonna maybe we could have like Glee and the middleman but you know like you know and they're like the girls names a lot I love those names but she like what they know yeah old nickname swarm like Val bellevigne and CC obviously goes can we go back to the house on the 13th so one point right when you got back there and Carabas there officer can rod and Nicole's there and then you went in the house and you're about a minute or so before you let her buddy in remember what you were doing in there at that time that was so I went into the garage right and then I ran around and that opened the front door yeah open the front door for us did everybody come into the garage in the front door everybody can see the front door yeah so I came in I went in through there I came in to open the front door ran upstairs I just like okay was that that's after everybody did you go around the house at all before you open the front door bottom board then I ran upstairs and everybody else janitor braun was that normal that she was sleeping her bra hmm everyone so I mean she just got home complaints she didn't even take off her eye makeup or anything there she was that tired but normally did not come off when you guys had sex you know sometimes she just you know keeps her shirt on and she doesn't want me to she wants what she wants was haunted was it just a missionary sex yep and when she would see her final resting place was that just naturally what she was wearing you didn't change her at that did you have to say any of that stuff pictures or anything that's not true they said I could they know I don't not afraid for those hazmat workers that I'm sure what's happening that right I have the part of the yeah right there on there I never wanted to see I would rather have to be there what the aftermath was they what they said like you know it did ever got ever got like a pronoun that preliminary hearing that I would have to see them just to be prepared and not have a reaction an initial or an initial reaction that was like do you feel like your lawyers were 13 yeah I mean they're my older mean she would contact really yeah they're kind of like almost like a guidance counselor almost yeah did you feel like you were driving the bus though with your decision - yeah I was like I know there's a lot thing I definitely know what's going on behind it seems like there may be there's a lot of things they never told me like you know like stuff that came out like afterwards like that whole like okay make your casselberry article and then the post and all that kind of stuff they told me I got the words and everything but it was I always felt like anything I was telling them they were there they were gonna do like the whole taking the plea deal and everything I told them that's what I wanted to do and they you know they asked me like seems like a hundred times are you sure you want to do this are you sure like once you sign this thing I guess like up until sentencing I had the time to like you know back out but like they always even before we walked up the court like are you sure so yeah this is okay they never never told me this is what you have to do they always just said this is your decision you know like if you want to take this farther where you know in John Satya was ready with how all kinds of motions written and all kinds of stuff that were like really creative and because he'd never been and something like this before and he was ready to fight it's like I didn't want you to have to do that not for me not for not for something that the story because there's only word 'aslim he got horse and try everybody for all three of you for everybody that was involved in it are you still glad you did dad I mean I never I never thought I'd be in prison the rest of my life like I I don't want people to have to do this in their lives knowing that you know there's a trial Lang over their head or whatever got that far out but I didn't want people to have to relive it every day that they have to have ever seen the pictures they say that even day after they see the pictures frankly Cindy no it's not some things they didn't they'd see anything that okay yeah she'll be back that's one thing I doesn't want to have to see anything or hear anybody talk about what or like you know any anybody bastard daughter you know like anybody to ruin like you know they hear what you know some of my friends had a negative impact on her from her or like had a description of her they didn't that they didn't match you know something like that I don't want him to hear that anybody had to trash her memory like I wanted like dead knowing she was a loving wife she's beautiful she always helped everybody else all her friends her look just really good we tried to get you to say that that now you want to know why but do you remember that remember obviously and then you ought to see weren't ready to say that I know it's like you know look after my dad left both came and like all right we got most the store this gift to the true story I'm just like I just wanted to bang my head against the table but in the end I think you did the right thing even though it's hard to hear there's a lot of people who think before you did I think your whole life has been thinking of others except for one brief moment you know I think you really did think of others when you made that choice so I personally make you right it would have been hard for the three of us to go through about this heart of everyone else about that heart right is and you buy those family your friend threatened just ordered for everybody see you haven't told your parents what happened you just told them I'm cleaning guilty for a reason I've told them like on the phone even because they they're still you should fight it you should get on they've they've got letters from like Australia from England I mean of like the 35c in Colorado and stuff like no proper counsellors I mean some of the stuff they you know they're saying about me on the dry patch so it's not like fda-approved how it can alter somebody who's modern like like there was some kind of condition but there's something else they call like see PSD complex post-traumatic stress disorder so my dad have been like some people from England have had it it's like they've been an emotionally abusive relationship so I'm just like you know some of the some of the most subjects they put in there like yeah I can relate to it but like it doesn't happen like they they think I lost support from they've got hate mail a phone calls a lot of like you know stuff like that I wish they never happened but they think they get some support which is good on the phone they still think you know there's a chance I could get out yeah I mean you don't want to ever think your kids going away forever like they don't I'm gonna they tell me to find it like you know oh they'll die every day but on their bad days they'll get a bad message you're about letter and I'll just kind of her back so more your mom or your dad my mom she was a lot follow my dad is usually China you know I'm like hey don't talk about this stuff if I'm just gonna roll it's gonna rot you up and it's gonna make him go back to so he's gonna I'm just kind of think about that all night right yeah would you ever want to know what you're telling us today I'd rather just tell them myself yeah so they're coming I think I got trying to make a visit like me or so so they don't know did they still think that should have killed the girl they still believe that even though I told them I play guilty for reason but they think that I was there words like railroaded by yeah because they you know they felt like I made a big impression do you feel like that no they they asked the claim time this is like you know they won they wanted to fight like they were Fassett fight they would have just you know found their gloves did it yeah I can't how to do that so Chris you care about others deeply I can tell you worry about others I've asked you you know a bunch of times today but you're not just telling us and you did it because you feel bad there's your hands never you did it I have to say like you know after this was all over you know people would bring up like oh my gosh I bet you're gonna find out that Chris you know used to torture animals and you know all this stuff you can imagine like you know hearing that someone's capable of that wouldn't they've done in their past those kinds of things can you think back to your past at all like your childhood and think about any other moments that maybe you felt this same rage I mean obviously didn't do anything like that but maybe felt that rage and like what would have triggered that or anything like that I mean I was always like somebody that trying to coax people down not to somebody want to fight somebody else thank you gotta fight like when I was in third grade but it was like you know we rip each other's shirt when I cry you know it looks like stupid I'm just like why didn't I why didn't I do that like maybe okay did you feel it and the insight whether you didn't act it out like did you feel like like if someone bully do you at school or someone whatever like would it still be inside me like did you feel like that even though he didn't actually act on it I was always you know I never really talked to many people so I never knew people knew I was but they didn't really that's why I never let a girlfriend in high school I was always kind like found the radar do you feel like you had low self-esteem mostly low self-esteem I didn't want to be I don't want to be part of like a group it's like you know I had a couple friends side with lunch table with them first that out they called like a fish pond area sold out there now I didn't really even want a whole lot of friends it's kinda like just closing it and just living out there except you I was but wasn't like it was popular mm-hmm can you attribute that to anything in your childhood why are you my sister was always in the popular one she was more like my mom like more like going it's like for a while I know you talked about your dad having an addiction when I was talking to me I was after I loved is that was it cocaine how do you think that affected you I'll think it affected me at home it did affect me but it didn't like take deep down bit like will you're hurting as much as I thought it would it's kind of weird because of my thing with my mom and my sister told me like when they I talked to him about it did sing register like I said I like to you that you change subject and like when I talked about he benched immediately change of subject I like because I found like you know cuts on it's like CDs and stuff before you would like you know separated and stuff like that a car dealership fight guys I do that kinda stuff all the time I guess but he was just coping with like I'd never came back home and that's before I met you man did you feel guilty that he's not using drugs because he never came back home like he lost his kid cuz I never really knew why he was doing it after his back and it was because it was coping with that but I never knew why you really actually turned the drugs but my fight with that was unfair because all this money was going somewhere else I can let myself I've never used drugs so I always try to tell them like hey like what's going on like why did why you need to use this and just like you could using this for a whole lot better better things you know just don't throw your life away I mean like this you could see in his face like you know it's like I feel like everything's getting like no I threw your face first and was getting all loose and I could lose a lot of weight nosebleed all the time you know you smoke like every day your life since you're like 15 or 16 I can't get you to stop that but I get you stop this he put it away I'm just pretty quick after I talk about it you think you're closer to your dad than your mom yeah yeah we always went to races together there in this you know he always my source there's a couple school sports right well all that kind of stuff you know mom will come through sometimes my dad was always there yeah even if I wasn't playing you just come there just this in case I can't wait in there that's cool yeah well I wondered if they hadn't visited because they didn't weren't ready to visit or if it was a money thing or you know like my mom yeah you later yeah visit here well I just told him like well we came down these roads are pets it's um tinkling an hour be the master for whatever way it is I told my grateful springtime yeah it wasn't gonna stir hey buddy get here they still come out here like it said April does like you know maybe push it told you and they say they can somehow Blizzard out here the late spring weather do wake affects us crazy you know how're you doing mentally I mean first time oh when I first time I didn't know I was coming here this house that BRDC place opinions I was there a week like first day I got there they put me through the wringer like I had like 11 tests to do like mental tests like reading math on stuff that serum IQ was and then I just sat there the rest of the week and then Sunday came along and after dinner they said I stripped down and put this on okay walked outside put me to bed I'm sleep okay I know I know uh-huh never stopped in Sterling what's really freaking out I was just like I don't want to do this better so many horror stories about that place and they just stopped the reason got to and then we kept going in the prison do they use the bathroom at the prison yeah I was like at the watchtower outside and we went into the Brassica sheriff's office there then another Sheriff's Office Iowa he stopped him he breakfast I asked him what I talked him once I'm like like I just a destination state he's like I don't know that there was like a it was like one of those like transport vans like rooms like at this the middle where I was sitting there and I could see out the window and I could see like they would put an address each time like they have like four sets of addresses staged one they had to go to they just wouldn't never tell me what we were gonna end up what was what did they say your IQ was 40 35 is that high I don't even know what it is about yeah it was just tipping back to high school for real like the city on all that stuff he has a lot of a lot of word problems a lot of like geometry by you know patterns like this was this way and then it was like I got a series of them like right what's this remember just a lot of stuff like that but like the further further you got long part god I'm just like second great it was like they give you this little take take that pin and take the little to about the middle and that's where you're using the filling a little no scantron sheets do you know how long you're gonna be here neither do i by the way and you know are you going to get a job Oh since I'm staying people since I've gotten stabbed here hey you have to work oh so what's your job down I don't know they haven't accepted value acceptance evaluation assessment valuation I'm still in that phase okay and how long will that take oh right now like stuff it's after I'm just going from moving over to a different unit and are you in Gen pop right now no I'm in a unit it's like 11 or 12 of us on there there was like 22 when I first got there but they've been transferred to the other prisons you know somewhere the other guys like they're like they're fine like the first time like I sat out and ate like a breakfast at lunch alone I was I was there it was just like nothing happened like nonsense I just never happened yeah like they like except they walk they walk the hallways out so it's like you know being next like right like this eating next to somebody I was just like they're gonna like take a sport and kind of stabbed me or something it was but it's totally different here I mean people know who I am but like they don't like you know run at me or jump at me early apparently they guys that work here they they know that I guess other Max's are like you could lock down like 23 22 hours today oh so then this is an auto place to be for like other x-max guys it's the best max for the worst opinion because if you're max you're working so you're you know out of there so working you know if you're a clerk for here in the kitchen or here on the rec area doing something okay but uh yeah they said like if you get stabbed here it's it'll be best for you plus they said it's not it's like rowdiest some new voices that's pretty intense yeah so like I mean I'm going to the GP area des don't move man and you think it'll be while you're here okay well they they said like I guess it could take you know it takes a lot to get through from axe the median to Colorado I was classified as men and restrictive but with the charges that have been medium but here is on magnet knives and what are the other guys import you know they said most guys in here for like gang judges and sex offenders and mainly people that have 20 years so people who were in for a long time and who would otherwise have a pretty hard time at a jail yeah for whatever they did yeah they're he's cinching here you know children yeah there's some people from other states here as well and guess it a couple cops here too okay it's this things happened and they just don't think it'd be better it'd be a lot better if they're here yeah so what kind of jobs are available well it's like they'll they'll probably have me at the kitchen or like that's where everybody starts out like either washing dishes or like you know putting foods on the trays or helping pots of paint something like that but they have like libraries add like you know thicknesses the PS new area of site area so they'll have like different guys doing clerk stuff around here I mean they I have over like 300 GP guys here that are like live here so they have a job for every one of them huh there's even got a shovel sidewalks yeah yeah I don't know if I'm gonna be that guy not here do you do you go to therapy do you have see a psychologist he's actually the one ice creams like a copy air something like that she's a she seemed like one small she's actually really yeah that's weird i walked in i saw a Bronco like I'm like who are you but um yes does she give you therapy here or she just like talks to me this is you I need anything earth like like if I need psych meds everybody anything like that which I find all that stuff but most people in my unit I've met just to have a more decent they need them well it's like a special management unit like they just put me on there to keep me away from GP and like most people are either like this have like some medication they're on you don't think anything no they just keep me in there until security adviser says you know he can get she'd be down the hall what kind of stuff like food and stuff do you miss the most from the outside yeah monofin you know my last time North Carolina Bojangles that was really good yeah is that barbecue it's like it's chicken and biscuits and that barbecue place down the street from the PD mm-hmm smokehouse George boys yeah get her hands I miss that just you know you know I miss you dance cooking that's for sure like her spaghetti sauce and fried pizza right heard of that what is that never heard her mom has for a Anglosphere her grandmother my mom's side had this like this dope and homemade dope you can make and just make up the dough and she would make it up with Bella sometimes like a little smaller one but she'd make a really big one and then she would put it in the oven the bottom oven let it sit there for a couple hours not the dawn or anything just let it rise and then once it's done take it out perform it throw with a peep the guy saw she has spread it around and though the mozzarella and pepperoni and put on the oven 350 and but well part of it is pride though well they have some parts decomp grill okay put on the stove - it's pretty is really good I'm absolutely thick yeah so you don't really need this yeah yes are you able to stay out of trouble here yeah nobody's get any fights nobody's you're not getting rid of everything you're not getting I don't want to because I said if you'd like to contact reports those should be out if you work here I don't know me to another location yeah so then does that incentivize people there no it's down yeah okay yeah I guess a couple guys got busted for Helena no kidding like that still just baffles my mind how that stuff gets to they won't even look like if somebody sends me a letter and it has like even someone sent me a Christmas card with glitter on let me have it's like it's contraband so like yeah I'll help you look it so what do you do with all these letters that are coming in to you most of them like I just had like this if somebody writes me once I'll never write them just because I don't know like who they are like where they're from I'll keep it at fit so if it's like a weird letter I'll straighten up the overlay if it's like a sport of letter I'll keep it around just like supported letter and then like like I've had some people like write me like a second third time but they've changed the way they talk or like they said there were things like there's like this this dude in like California that wrote me he's like he's a senior in high school and was like look at the name like turn it up dude away he wrote me again like like two weeks ago totally different I never mentioned like eh never missed his studying okay like I supports you I'm like all this like that like if I didn't recognize his name I wouldn't know I'm like he was just an 18 year old kid senior trying to trying to just like probably get information you know there's been like journalists and like other people like I can kind of tell like they ask a lot of questions that's right it's like take into effect who's writing me like just not to respond like I responded to a few people just the guns like either my parents have talked to them on the outside and I kind of know okay it's a little person yeah but like there are some people that liked it seems like they're just trying like to get help from themselves through like some people ask like you know like like just for spiritual advice they're asking for your advice from me okay yeah like you know if they're not asking about the case all right okay yeah you think you'll be in love again there's a lot of women out there that are in love with you I'm not the guy that's down the street or whatever it is I've heard enough about that guy what do you what have you heard about him yeah I engaged over a letter he did yeah that's pretty insane yeah [Music] do you have some ladies that are giving you a lot of like to tell them that telling you they're in love with you and that kind of stuff well I've had a couple letters that have been like - no I hear you get a lot of letters from like some lady friends that tell you all you need to know I'm like there is I guess there was one letter in Colorado something sitting a picture than the key and insight went off in there that's like the only one I ever got no like that but the press still get this hey did you ever get requests from the best mm-hmm and how does that work tear it up so are you person here declining well I don't like you know come back would they allow you to talk with them do they allow them in here top of you I guess foundations of apps they come in here and talk to me but vehicle no but there I've gotten letters from like you know Denver Denver stations and then quotation ones off the record and like it write anything I write yeah you're right yeah just tear it up throw it away have you thought about like writing a book or anything like that come on come on with that nobody mom dad said maybe you should like write down like how you feel or like you know how you've been dealing with this type thing just write it down and that would be my story but I'm just like right That's not me I've always been had a really crazy imagination so I like my helmet Jade like I even convinced my teacher I was the one to I went to Japan this under her to China or something but she said you know like today just write down like you know your story like I did cope with this why did you convince your teacher you have gone to another country it was just like what you did over the summer and I got China started right and she actually believed it that was really convincing yeah so you're smart dude yeah it was it was amazing parent-teacher conference that so it helps China know it's early you're talking about how this experience you're gonna want to help people what do you mean by that so like like this is couple letters that I've gotten like this one this one girl she doesn't like an abusive relationship and she just can't find the relationship like God and like I've been I've read I never read the Bible before before all this like in well counting I read it in the segregation cold air it would say that was on the book I got okay I got a CO recovered I never thought I could become how many pages within the Bible that I it stuck with me and I've been reading it more and more here like I got a different version here I just ingredient and this writing down like a couple script of the day like to get my mom and dad they've been like making them a little journal and stuff like that my uncle Johnny and his wife Martha they're actually uh missionaries and and one of my cousins actually as well and they've been helping my mom and dad they've been it was to come a couple of my letters and they're there they were amazed at how like how mature I've gotten with like the Bible and everything description it just like one thing one gift that did get was a good memory as far as like being a memorized okay and I guess I have my cars in the oil but I can't remember I've acronyms like that and I've been memorizing a lot of different scripts and it's kind of like help people that way like there's men inmates that have left my unit and went to a different place and they've written me just ask like can you give me a couple scriptures to help me through this like you know any I was help somebody that way yeah if you gotta go to school or anything we don't have any else programs here let me know that's accepted her evaluation prison so they don't this is I think this is when they have a second class okay that's the only thing they have here but they have mother like that's like the map with the prisons after yes have a lot here like three right in this area I was just amazed that when I won't be I did see out the window when I first there was like a neighborhood it's right next to the prison yeah so just like that the same thing yeah feels like in Colorado so Mike they're all like hey easy well we might take a little break right now I think it's almost time for you at lunch yeah yeah but like the polygraph everything just like holy go this I am I'm like oh wow it's but four hours really go they might let us come better help you there might be a cup or thing you want to go over no but I sent you're up for something okay and then the other thing is we might be back in a month in a year in two years if you report now that's way down the road but I guess maybe in the back of your mind just think about that I hope so far today so all right yes Ben I don't see when I walked in and I was like I know these guys look at you I'm like like counselor that's okay yeah the Colorado people to the let's pass a any sergeant I was like I'm eating so there's a possibility we might not make it back today I just want to let you know but you might so we really appreciate you talking to us thank ya total took me off-guard I didn't know it is yeah again this isn't it the case is over it's closed so that's not that's not what today's about we really appreciated you've done a lot of things really really well really good made a lot of good decisions obviously we're here because it just like one bad decision but I think that you've taken steps past that so yeah if we might come back after one I feel unsure that's all right okay let's see if I can grass today what are you guys fighting - I think I had the better Drive - like 50 minutes those was like two hours snow it's pretty nice winds lon not like wind like Colorado then there's a hell a lot colder yeah one yeah the roads aren't getting cleared like they would get cleared in Colorado I think they just have so much yeah Colorado it just melts within a couple hours honestly I haven't seen it melt what's the thing everyone's housing like this child you know like oh it's the next snow and they just pass it like a bra so it doesn't look like anything melts you guys go outside for a car anything no no when it's has to be old 50 degrees okay so you don't think out for a while they have like a wreck like a little basketball court down the hall from where my unit is so we get there about five days a week for like 40 minutes nice good chances around yeah and there's like like the other day yeah [Music] okay thank you yeah I know you wanted my phone pictures that's me sir I think I had that much like 2016 sir it's a good amount on there yeah if we don't make it back today it's gonna be because of some of their scheduling it's not that we don't want to talk to you some more this month is it what things we can't talk about okay if we don't make it back that's why okay it's holidays up here that'd be pretty much open yeah said I'd see many people walking to it always came down through there's a con no visitors or what no I just people just like workers walking up and down oh yeah does one thing I was talked about when I walked around here I was always used to seeing everybody handcuffs walk around hallways and here it is interesting man I thought the same thing I couldn't tell who was who it's like you can't necessarily yep you see the red tag it's like an inmate but somebody else very like something that's like actual civilian floors so then you're nothing to the shackles and handcuffs that often I haven't been you're kidding elves that smile to me I was like when the guy took me in the hallway I was like anything no keep walking yeah that's that's that's my psych conscious and this is max when she first got here but now it's like Maddox or something it's like you know if you if you want to act up they'll come use it you'll learn the shackle back oh yeah they don't put your handcuffs take you to the hole yeah yeah and then those should be out of here they have a solitary here oh yeah they'll strap you out look good oh yeah yeah reminder yeah hey right yes I don't not they don't need it don't pass food don't pass any I saw yours do you get a violent commissary and stuff that's different here it's a like a bubble sheet inside of like Colorado was like a little little touch screen he didn't come here it's like a little scantron you send it off to like Missouri and it's the same company but it's the it just takes a lot more Gator yeah like what kind of stuff can you buy like ramen soup and peanut butter and oatmeal stuff like that I usually skip that oatmeal do your parents put money on your moccasin yeah not sure how like that restitution so that's going to work I'm sure like that old like what ever ever sent me money on the canteen Oh probably ideal takes a little bit of it too Yeah right all right yeah thank you come on thank you thank you you

Channel: More Derek Van Schaik

Views: 1,792,352

Rating: 4.563241 out of 5

Keywords: derek van schaik, chris watts, chris watts tapes, shanann watts, bella watts, cece watts, celeste watts, watch how police caught chris watts, watch these fbi interrogation tactices crack chris watts, body language proof chris watts, does body language prove chris watts, chris watts interrogation, chris watts update, chris watts updates, denver7, 9news, fbi, grahm coder, tammy lee, raw footage, polygraph, chris watts colorado, cbi, dave baumhover, body language of a liar

Id: P6wRs7UTcCs

Length: 178min 28sec (10708 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 08 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/gatofleisch]

Not from Jim Can't Swim, but if you watched all his videos on Chris Watts this is basically the sequel.

The integrator, lie detector administrator and I think one other person visit Chris Watts after his sentencing to find out a how and why he did what he did.

Personally I got like an 40 min in and I think I heard enough. But yeah, interesting follow up to the story.