Lily's Adoption Story

foreign started one night when we received a text message from friends of ours our friends worked closely with HIV and AIDS and they themselves were fostering a girl and in this text it said that there was a girl who was in an isolation area of a hospital and she need a family and she'd been there for 40 days the reason she was in a hospital and not an orphanage was because the orphanage refused her and that was actually the second time she'd been abandoned she was first abandoned at a train station when she was a year and a half years old and she was found by a family another family that knew that first family actually began fostering her they had her for a year and a half authorities came to their house and discovered that this family had been fostering this girl and they said it's fine it's fine for you to have her but you need to do a health check with her at that point this family took Lily to get a health check and they discovered that she was HIV positive at that point she was three years old in the family was no longer willing to care for Lily they brought her the orphanage to the orphanage said no and so they had to take her to the hospital where she spent the next 40 days of her life and isolation room my wife and I got this message and within two to three hours we knew we wanted to take care of this girl we didn't know what the journey was going to look like we didn't know where it would end we just knew that this child needed a home she needed a forever family she needed a mom and a dad brothers and sisters and she didn't need a cold silent empty room yeah so we said yes and that was the beginning of our story with Lily so the whole thing with Lily happened really fast and you know we weren't anticipating you know one day we get a text and three days later we have a child you know but just with how it all worked out you know they the hospital wasn't prepared to handle a kid with HIV they didn't really know what to do they didn't really and and really it's just fear they were just afraid they were really afraid and honestly when I first when we first met our friends and they had their foster daughter and I found out our thought her foster daughter was going to school with my kids I was scared and I I felt kind of like oh my gosh I don't know if this is a good idea that you're putting your HIV positive child in school with my kids and so I had my own fears so her coming into our family you know I didn't I wasn't prepared I didn't know anything about HIV all I knew was some of these kind of things that our friends had told us and I knew I had seen our friends do it and so I knew that they were okay you know and so and they had other kids so you know if they could do it you know it must be okay for us so having Lily come into our family was it was interesting it was a huge change for us it was a huge change for our kids but I think the thing that I saw so quickly was just how she was like a bridge for our two daughters because Lily Falls right in between our oldest daughter and our our second oldest biological daughter so Lily kind of became our second oldest child and she just like the way she she interacted with our kids and it just she so quickly just became a part of our family and it was just really special you know and I think that having all those things happen it made those fears and those you know hesitations go away really quickly you know obviously I educated we educated ourselves and obviously we learned all the things we needed to learn and and then those things helped a lot you know but I think you know it just was it was just special when she came and it was um it was really meant to be just her being a part of our family I actually never wanted to adopt that was never on my heart that was never something I saw myself doing or wanted to do um Matt always had a heart for that and always saw himself doing like adopting or doing foster care and I just really was like afraid of it I guess and I think the the biggest thing for me is I felt like I could never love a child that wasn't my own and I never thought it was possible for this like child that wasn't mine biologically to come into my life that that I could treat them the same as my own biological children and so I'm so thankful that the way our process is gone has just been very like step by step it was never like boom we're adopting her it's happening tomorrow it's been such a process for us and I think a process of learning and a process of I think the way it happened made me realize I can love a child that's not my own and I can I can make her you know part of my family and it's it's it's more than possible and I can treat her the same way as I treat my biological children and my heart can grow and so I think that was just really huge for me and I'm so thankful for how the process happened with us and that it wasn't just a you know it wasn't it was yeah I think the thing that surprises me most is how normal our lives are with Lily even though she's HIV positive that doesn't influence or impact Our Lives to some huge degree really the only thing we do is we give her medicine in the morning and at night every day and we take her regularly to have her blood checked to make sure that her body's responding well to the medicine outside of that our lives are completely normal and Lily is just this normal kid who's smart and funny and beautiful and loves to dance and draw and she's so creative and her life on the outside you'd have no idea you'd have no idea that this girl is HIV positive and for me part of the journey has just been seen these kids can live a normal life they can live a healthy life and our children in our house have responded so well to her they see her as a sister she's not this orphan whose HIV positive or this orphan she's naturally just part of our house and part of our family and the normal just just how normal it is is probably the thing that strikes me the most so I think when Lily first came into our lives it was difficult I mean it was a massive thing for her this little girl has been through traumatic event after traumatic event and so and I mean it was a huge adjustment for us and for our kids and it was it was a really big deal and it was very sudden for her it was very sudden for us and so you know it was a little scary I remember like Matt and I just having moments where we sat on the couch and cried and we were terrified and we didn't know what we were doing and it was scary but in you know those first six months were hard I mean they were hard you know she had terrible night terrors and there was things that were just you know she didn't understand our lifestyle our culture we didn't understand her and her habits and so it was a big adjustment but it was just I feel like it was so special to see the little the little moments of growth you know seeing her grow and seeing her learn to speak English and seeing her becoming part of our family and and even for us growing like even us learning to understand her and US learning who she was and us falling in love with her I feel like it was I feel like it was like a love story between us and Lily and I I don't think it like was this immediate thing where I saw her and I just loved her I think it was more like I fell in love with her and the more I got to know her and every month her personality came out more I just like fell in love with her and she just was such an incredible girl and so it was just you know everyone has a different story when it comes to adoption you know but that was just kind of how it was for us and I'm so grateful I'm so grateful that we that we said yes and I'm so grateful that we did it and I'm so grateful that we didn't allow the fear to keep us from her foreign honestly my wife and I knew nothing about HIV and AIDS and most of us the last time we ever talked about it or learned about it was in high school which was so long ago and so many things have changed and I I knew nothing and since getting Lily I've learned so much that through medicine you can control HIV you can you can suppress it and truly Lily is our healthiest daughter in our house our other kids will get sick because she won't and a lot of people would think it should be reversed but it's not with medicine Lily and other children who are HIV positive can live long and fulfilling lives I think the thing that I've learned from this situation is that these kids are vulnerable they're vulnerable to the LIE they're vulnerable to people's fears and they're treated honestly like lepers people are not willing to bring them into their house people are not willing to bring them close and that's something that I would hope our story with Lily can change and if we just touch one person and and teach them that this these children they're just like any other child they just take medicine um I think we could do some good if we can do that if we can educate some people and if we can start people getting people interested in adopting and caring for these children that's my hope that's what I hope we can do my heart is just to say that all Lily needed was a chance she just needed a family who would say yes who would say I'm not gonna let lies and fear direct my life I'm going to love this girl who needs a family and my encouragement is don't let the HIV aids thing scare you or don't let the LIE direct your life because these kids can live normal healthy productive lives they just need a chance they just need a family who will say I'm willing I will do it I will bring you in I will love you every day for the rest of your life foreign

Channel: Sharing Dots

Views: 486,762

Keywords: Adoption, Forever family, Love Story, HIV, Orphan, AIDS, Humanitarianism (Quotation Subject), Charitable Organization (Industry), Non-governmental Organization (Non-profit Designation), orphan care, international adoption, special needs adoption, older child adoption, hiv adoption, HIV/AIDS, documentary, short film, filmmaking, true story, positive story, adoption story

Id: I0pOUS4h1bo

Length: 12min 59sec (779 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 22 2015