Life after Divorce update (as a millionaire)

all right welcome back to another episode of tech lead here today we're going to talk about my life after divorce and you know what something like this may happen to you if not already it may happen to you at some point in the future we know that about 50 of marriages do end up in divorce and keep in mind that no relationship starts out badly so if you think that well this is never going to happen to you you may want to think again so hopefully anyways this video will provide you some useful advice at some point now or in the future let's get into it hey quick pause if you haven't already remember to check out the weeble stock trading app where they are giving you four free stocks when you sign up you get two free stocks when you open an account and another two free stocks when you deposit 100 bucks still your money but you are getting four free stocks they're random stocks and can be worth up to sixteen hundred dollars so check them out weeble there'll be a link in the description below so first of all my life and emotional state have mostly recovered if they've even recovered at all because generally i don't tend to feel many emotions in the first place as a robot but i have to say the first three to six months was probably one of the darkest periods of my life very negative although in retrospect maybe it was a time i should have been rejoicing because that was when i really regained my freedom you have to remember that there are a lot of pros and cons to relationships and marriage right the pro is of course you get a partner somebody to back you up but of course when that time ends when your partner is no longer supporting you your lifestyle your career or respecting you then separating may actually be very beneficial and you also regain the freedom and control over your own life to live it however you see fit which is a very important thing when you consider that there's only one life to live and you don't want to just throw that away and really there's a whole world out there you don't necessarily need to live your life like a storybook fairy tale if that's going to completely sabotage your path so the first thing is after any breakup i would recommend taking three to six months just to not get into any serious relationships and to take it slow and give yourself some time to recover and think about what you really want and what's going to fit in your life and it's going to probably take some time for you to vet any other potential partners to potentially bring into your life now the other thing i would recommend is to understand if you didn't have children in this relationship if it was just boyfriend or girlfriend or maybe just got married and didn't have kids then no big deal right it's such an easy thing just separate and go off on your own ways and you know it was a good time had by all and then people can just go live out their own individual lives you should be thankful you don't have children to complicate things further when i think about high school sweethearts or college sweethearts who are breaking up and they're crying and emotional i just think that's really just child's play they haven't even actually begun like it's so simple at that point now on the other hand if you did happen to have children with somebody like i did and this person is going to be stuck in your life or maybe you were just in a really long-term marijuana relationship and you have a lot of emotional trauma or impact from this then my recommendation is to understand that yes maybe you're going to get divorced fleece maybe you're going to have to pay this person out some money some alimony some community property assets maybe some child support and you know there's going to be a lot of negative emotions involved it may be easy to give into anger and hatred as well as there may be some positive good times you've had that you look back fondly upon and i have a few recommendations one is to keep in mind that the best revenge is success so yes for example maybe you have to split with somebody you may have to give them half of your assets here and there but if you're to go on to far greater success after that then first of all you'll find that whatever amount you have to give to this other person you just don't even care about it just doesn't even matter to you anymore you'll find you can take it or leave it and you just don't care it's not going to make a single difference in your life one way or another the other thing of course is that this other person is going to take a look at you and think wow they really missed out on the bulk of what you had to offer they only got a crumb of what was actually in store and in fact that's one thing i noticed about successful people is that they seem to achieve their success after they finished a relationship right like by that point they have a lot of time to focus on themselves they don't necessarily want to spend their time getting into another relationship and so then they focus on whatever their purpose was you take a look at people like steve jobs or jeff bezos they didn't have great personal lives either but i believe they probably followed their additional time and energy after relationship into their businesses now in my scenario in particular it's still all a pending matter actually nothing's quite settled but whereas i used to care a lot about this there was this initial shock factor i was taken aback but when i took a step back i realized that no matter what the outcome it's actually not going to affect my life one bit i don't even care i'm actually on much higher ground and i just earned more money and i consider myself to be fortunate and lucky to have gotten out earlier rather than later the other thing to keep in mind is that i've mentioned this before on my main channel but there's this quote by boo that i enjoyed which is that hatred is like holding a hot coal trying to throw it to somebody but then you burn yourself in the process and so actually this idea that the best revenge is success in my opinion it's a little bit flawed because in actuality you don't even want revenge right if you're seeking revenge if you're seeking to hate on somebody else to be negative then you've actually let this experience in your life taint you and your future and it's just caused you to have this negative outlook on life and you end up just hating things and being negative around people and you don't want to do that to yourself if anything you are taking revenge only upon the weaker version of yourself in order to be greater you know when i look at my relationship with my ex i used to be very negative about her but these days i don't even care right like i just wish the best for her i hope she can have a good time have a good life i'm not here to try to make her life any more difficult than it needs to be i don't derive joy from seeing her or anybody suffer and i'm not seeking revenge either right i'm just out here living my life trying to make it as great as possible without trying to cast blame or negativity on anybody else because it's really when you think about it life is unfair one way or another life is unfair so it doesn't make sense to complain or moan about or to try to get back at life and when you take a look at the way dogs live you know they say that dogs forgive but they never forget so for example if you step on the dog's paw it's going to forgive you right away but it won't forget that and it will stay clear if you remember those lessons while not harboring any negativity or hate and i have found that the old saying in every problem there's an opportunity continues to be true because quite frankly the divorced life the single life is nowhere near as bad as i thought it would be because i've gone on to join some of the greats like steve jobs jeff bezos or elon musk all of who have been divorced and when you take a look at some other people like mark zuckerberg who has not been divorced before you know i'm glad that i'm separate from him in a different category and so overall every relationship ends at one point or another it's going to be a sad thing when it does but it doesn't mean that you have to dwell on that last part you know you can think about the good times remember those and focus on the positive points about it you know there's always going to be pros and cons and when it comes time to separate then just wish the other person well don't let the experience taint you negatively in any way and continue to have a positive perspective upon the world that positiveness is going to just make your life fuller and richer and happier overall you don't want to be comparing your life with this other person to see who got the better life in the end and who's doing better or not your only competition is your future self and you just want to focus on that that's your own path to go after now one more bit of advice i've learned from my relationship is that you need a two factors for a successful relationship number one you need to actually like the person and number two you need to like the life that you have with this person so number one you need to be compatible with somebody you two need to be able to get along and communicate and compromise but then the other thing is that they share the life that you may build together with somebody also needs to be something that you enjoy so it's two components liking the person and then also being on the same path as this other person and if you too no matter how much you may be compatible if you're on different paths in life if you're going in different directions due to different values beliefs or simply different geographies or places you want to be in your life different work ethics different views on finances or money then you may be on a different path and it's important in my opinion to stay true to your path and ultimately it's important to remember that marriage is just a piece of paper you don't need this piece of paper in your life necessarily rather you can navigate the relationships in your life based on present day actions that people show for one another are they loving each other are they respecting each other and at the end of the day life is unfair humans are flawed imperfect creatures i've yet to meet another perfect human being such as myself and so there's really no use whining or complaining you just have to play the hand you're dealt and if you want to play that hand with a smile on your face other more power to you so that'll do for me hope you enjoyed the episode but let me know your thoughts on how to get over a breakup or divorce i'd love to see that in the comments below i'll see you there if you like the video please give it a like and subscribe appreciate that and i'll see you in the next one thanks bye

Channel: TechLead Show

Views: 104,815

Keywords: techlead, tech lead, investing, investing for beginners, investing in your 20s, how to invest, how to invest in stocks, stock market investing, stock market investing for beginners, stock options, robinhood, best stock trading app, how to be a millionaire, credit score, credit card, credit cards for beginners, passive income, how to build wealth, divorce, relationships, marriage, wedding, prenup, postnup

Id: RmN7ZYO9PRk

Length: 8min 49sec (529 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 12 2020