[Let's Talk About] Aging Gracefully

good evening all first i just want to apologize for the delay and i just want to say a big thank you to the technical crew who has been working so hard to make sure that we can continue with this webinar and but welcome to the last installment of the let's talk about relationships series this webinar is brought to you by faith community church and arrows ministry and if you have been blessed by both of these ministries and you want to give financially you can do so with the information provided on the screen right now thank you so much for your support and prayerful consideration the next topic is about aging gracefully aging gracefully is not about retreating or fading into obscurity it is about faithfully fulfilling god's call for the season and the role that he has given to you and continue to serve and reach the world with his love we're going to start the next session with pastor benny teaching and sharing his heart on the topic and then we're going to land with a q a session so pastor benny i'm going to hand this time over to you to teach thanks well welcome everybody and again we apologize for the slight technical delay now we i'm actually really looking forward to the panel uh because we're gonna be hearing from some of the wisest people that i know of and they'll be sharing with us their experience and their journey but you know one of the best description of growing all i think is recorded for us in the book that right now our church is actually preaching through and that's the book of ecclesiastes and i want to read for you uh the wise man's recording of what it what it looks like to to age um over time and i'm gonna read for you now ecclesiastes chapter chapter 12 i'll read for you the first eight verses and that gives you a really good um a picture okay here it goes ecclesiastes chapter 12 verse one remember your creator in the days of your youth before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say i find no pleasure in them before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark and the clouds return after the rain when the keepers of the house tremble and the strong men stood when the grinder sees because they are few and those looking to the windows grow deem and when the doors the streets are closed and the sound of grinding fades when people rise up at the sound of birds but all their songs grow faint and when people are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets and when the element trees blossom and the grasshopper drags itself along and desire no longer is stirred then people go to their eternal home and moana's go about the street remember him remember god before the silver cord is severed and the golden crown a bow is broken therefore the picture is shattered at the spring and the wheel broken at the well and thus returns to the ground it came from and the spirit returns to god who gave it meaningless meaningless says the teacher everything is meaningless you know when we are young we never dreamed that we will actually become old uh younger people tend to think that we older folks uh uh from another planet you know it's just like this little boy who actually asked his grandfather were you in the ark with noah and also that's how old they think we are and maybe it is good that as we seek to grow old grace gracefully graciously we look to the scriptures for some guidance ecclesiastes actually says remember your creator in the days of your youth before you no longer find pleasure in life which means to say that before cynicism actually kicks in before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark this is talking about us losing our memory when things begin to grow dark keepers of the house trembles what is that it's when your your arms and your legs actually grow weak and the keepers of the house is now trembling strong men stoop standing straight now becomes a problem grinders sees because they are few and that's talking about our thief actually starts falling out and windows grow deemed in other words our eyes can no longer see clearly the doors to the streets are shut going out becomes difficult the sound of grinding fades in other words there's no more pleasure in eating you know eating slows down and their songs grow faint the hearing is is also gone afraid of heights and of danger when courage and bravado is gone desire is no longer stirred you know when sex and and natural appetite becomes less desires are no longer stirred when watching pornography is no longer a temptation it's a non-issue and man goes to his eternal home that's when death comes what a vivid description of growing old isn't it but remember this remember him before the silver cord is severed and golden crown is the golden bow is broken the picture is shattered and the wheel is broken what's all that i think within this context is really talking about death you see because during ancient times the rich people would actually use a golden bowl to hold oil and then and then that acts as a lamb and this bowl is then suspended with a silver cord so it's a gold uh bowl silver cord which actually only the welty people could afford but when the silver cord is broken the lamb will fall and it will break and the oil will be spilled and the light will be extinguished that's really a picture of life coming to an end and that's going to be true whether you are rich or you are poor even rich people will ultimately die death will arrive you know and the picture and the wheel also gives us a picture of of a well that used to draw water but now it is dry see when the wheel is broken the pitcher will then smash against the wall the well and it shatters and the well then becomes useless so in summary the wise man says remember god before the dust returns to the ground the spirit returns to god and death catches up with us what is a what a picture of old age leading to death which is the ultimate destiny for men under the sun and as long as we live but brothers and sisters i want you to remember god now and we all we will have to conclude with king solomon that you know life is meaningless everything is meaningless because without god we grow all with nothing to look forward to with anticipation and nothing to look backwards with satisfaction see without christ gk chesterton says man starts from no beginning and it goes towards no end and we will all end up like this old man i read about who wrote this note i get up each morning dust up my wits pick up the papers and read the orbeez if my name is missing i know i'm not dead so i eat a good breakfast and i go back to bait and also life just become eat breakfast and waiting for death to come but god constantly calls out to us in the words of robert browning grow all together with me because the best is yet to be with god growing old is not something to be afraid of but it's something that we can enter into gracefully and graciously so the wise man then ends with this exaltation in verse 13. now all has been said and here is the conclusion of the matter fear god keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man for god will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing whether it is good or evil and interestingly this word duty here it's not just talking about something we have to perform or something we have to do but it's really referring to wholeness so what solomon is concluding is that to fear god and to keep his commandment is what life is really all about so whether you're young or you're old there's no better time to begin to live for god than today and then we can all look forward with an anticipation and then we look backwards in the end with satisfaction uh one hymnist wrote this if life be long i will be glad for i have long to obey if short why should i be sad to saul to endless days like paul would say for me to live is christ but to die is even better it's gain now with that it's a backdrop i want to now just uh share with you what practically here are 10 practical ideas for aging gracefully now with god as our backdrop and with the idea that no all of life we should be fearing god and getting to know him but as we age and and i'm also beginning to age and i'm realizing it here are pretend practical ideas for aging gracefully number one is this pay attention to your body pay attention to your body not those of you who have been in fcc uh with me for a while you will know that when i took over from pastor ching lai about 13 years ago i was about 47 years old and still fairly fit you know and remember when back in the days when we were still worshiping in wind chop baptist college now i could literally lip from the ground up the stage right i used to live up the stage instead of going by the side and go up the stairs i used to just lip up you know and when i finished i could just jump down and those were the days when i could do all that but when i reached the age of 55 which is about seven years later i begin to realize you know that when i try to lift up now and then i have near misses and the congregation sometimes will go ah you know as i jumped up and i almost lose my footing and all that and you know what i think my body was signaling to me that i think you better use the stairs now instead of jumping up and down and i begin to pay attention to my body you know don't ignore the sickness that our body is actually sending to us because they are there to inform us of the need to pay attention to certain ailments you know or to that certain maintenance that is needed physically and but don't let the fear of finding out stop us from dealing with those sickness because the fact is the earlier we find out the easier it is to actually deal with them and we do need to hold that tension between being caring towards our body and at the same time not being overly fearful of every disease because then it becomes a phobia and that's not healthy second corinthians 4 verse 16 the apostle paul actually informs us therefore we do not lose heart you know we don't become frightened we don't become cowardly but though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day because the truth is this that our outward body it's not getting better it's actually the law of entrophy is still working so pay attention to your body and don't be afraid to find out what's going on so that the earlier you find out the easier it is to deal with it that's number one number two and i'm gonna start with all the practical ones and then i'll get to the things that we need to do with our life okay but number two is this accept the inevitable aging look well we had to be accepting towards ourselves as we age and do not become critical of our own deteriorating looks because the truth is this my lines are increasing every year it increases i used to have no lines you know you can just look at my face you can land an aeroplane there because it's so smooth but now there's lines all over the and when our chest begins to drop into our stomach you know when our six-pack that is here now become one big lamb it remember it's not the end of the world it's just the end of our youth that's all okay so i think we accept our inevitable aging look we never let feelings of insecurity inadequacy or dissatisfaction attack us you know i realize that we can be old and happy because every line tells a story every wrinkle you know speaks of another year of experience i look older on the outside but i can still be fresh and green on the inside because that's the climate i want to nurture within myself psalms 92 i love this psalm 92 verse 12 to 15 the samist wrote this the righteous will flourish like a palm tree they will grow like the cedars of lebanon planted in the house of the lord and they will flourish in the course of our god they will still bear fruit in old age and they will stay fresh and green proclaiming the lord is upright he is my rock and there is no wickedness in him so i accept that outwardly i'm growing older but inwardly i still stay fresh and green here's number three and can i encourage everyone who is aging please still enjoy your food and drink you know people often tell us to watch our diet as we grow older and that is wise but at the same time don't forget to enjoy your food and drink eat well eat slowly and enjoy the occasional glass of wine and i think it's totally all right try new cuisines and treat yourself to some fine dining every now and then you know my good friend is going to come on the panel in a while pasta coming you know i eat with him a lot and i can tell you this guy takes time to savor his food he is the slowest eater you can come across and he would take his time he will chew and chill and she'll taste every muscle of food and enjoy everything and i think i need to learn from him i eat too fast eat well eat slowly and enjoy your occasional glass of wine you work hard and it is time that you treat yourself every now and then so enjoy your food and drink here's number four rest well and rest sufficiently oh please make sure that you get the well-deserved rest that you you can have now as you age gracefully you work so hard for so long so this is the time for you to rest well sleep sufficiently after all you got plenty of time and the lord will give his beloved restful sleep lay claim to that you know and psalms 127 verse 1 and 2 the summit said unless the lord builds the house the builders labor in vain unless the lord watches over the city the gods will stand watch in vain in vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat but the truth is this that god grants sleep to those that he loves god will give his beloved sleep and you are beloved of the lord you are someone that the lord loves and he will give you rest and rest well rest sufficiently here's number five can i encourage you as we age graciously have fun try new things you know develop new tanning and even though you are older you can still maintain a bit of a child inside this whole body be willing to try new things and still have plenty of fun you know take up new hobbies take off the bucket list of stuff that you always wanted to do but never had the time now go do it and if as long as your body allows you to go for it stay enthusiastic learn new things there's a danish proverb that goes like this age may wrinkle the face but a lack of enthusiasm will wrinkle the soul so stay enthusiastic about life and develop new tennie and that's a term we use right older body but still having young enthusiasm number six can i encourage you also visit some new places if you are still mobile able to travel please go visit the places you always wanted to go go see the places you always wanted to see now bear in mind it need not be expensive in exotic places far from home but for all you know especially today with all the pandemic going on you should be exploring places and sites that are right here in our own backyard you know there are many things we haven't even seen some of you here i know you haven't been to pinnacles right so take a drive and go see it just visit new places number seven why don't you connect often with friends and family connect often with people this is the best time to connect with your family your friends your church members you know call up your old friends and then together you can recall your youth and you know you you you earn it so go enjoy it and can i can i say take initiative and call your friends up and go out have meals have a couple and connect relationally with others don't isolate this is not the time to isolate this the time to connect and don't forget give some time to impart to the younger ones i love psalm 78 when the summit said in verse 1 to 3 my people hear my teaching listen to the words of my mouth i will open my mouth with a parable i will utter hidden things things from of all things that we have heard and known things that our ancestors have told us what's all that about that's all about imparting to the next generation it's all about talking uh to the people that comes after us passing on stories passing on experiences and narratives of what god has done in our life and this is probably the best time to do it now here comes a few more more serious things that we can do number eight draw near to god i think that this is probably the best time for us to build a relationship deeper than ever before without god now we had the time now we have the space to actually do it psalm 71 the summit said in verse 5 to verse 8 and then verse 17 and 18 for you have been my hope listen how the psalmist in his old age says these things for you have been my hope sovereign lord my confidence since my youth from birth i have relied on you you brought me forth from my mother's womb and i will ever praise you i have become a sign to many you are my strong refuge even at all age the psalmist is still declaring who god is to him and she said from yang you have been like that my mouth is filled with your praise declaring your splendor all day long since my youth god you have taught me and to this day i declare your marvelous deeds even when i'm old and grey do not forsake me my god till i declare your power to the next generation your mighty ex to all who are to come we draw near to god and out of the abundance of our heart out of all the depths of experience we have with the lord from our youth we trusted him and then we imparted to the next generation here's number nine and can i challenge you with this one you know served a lot served a lot now some of you may say oh i've been there done that it's time for the younger generation to do it i don't think so actually this is the best time for us to serve the lord and i'll tell you why ravi zechariah prior to his passing actually talk about a survey that was done in the united states of america where they wanted to find out what is the most productive age range in human life and this is what he found out they discovered surprisingly that the most productive ages are actually not in the younger but in the older ages i was a bit surprised because in my understanding in my own uh perception i would think that if you are in your 30s to 40s or your 40s to 50s those would be your best years those will be your your years when you are most productive but surprisingly what they discovered was this the best or most effective age range number one is the 60s to 70s interesting 60s to 70s and then the second most productive age range depending on your health is 70 to 80 and then the third is 50 to 60. and i was amazed with that result you know the most productive age is 60 to 70 and then depending on health 70 to 80 and then 50 to 60 and it struck me at that point when i was when when i heard ravi talk about that it struck me that one of the most underutilized age group in the church the most underutilized but but yet the most resource are the people between the ages of 50 to 80 50 to 80 i think are the most underutilized age group because this age range as i thought about it i discovered it's true why are they the most productive i think it's because these are the age range between 50 to 80 they have the most experience right having lived through a lot of life they have the most resources because most of them would have made their careers they made their money they paid up all their debt and all that and these are also the people with the most time they have the most time and i think this is the time where they can do a lot more for the kingdom of god and if i may add they can do it for free because they really have made the money and they really don't need as much uh to make as much money as before and i that's why in our church my dream has always been to be able to and to bring in our younger people into the full-time ministry and we recruit younger pastors who are in their 20s their 30s so that we can give them time to actually grow and develop and by the time they reach the age of 40 they already are pretty experienced in the ministry and then these young people is going to have up to 20 to 30 good years to give back to the body of christ and i think that would be amazing and that has always been our hope but the only way that you could get younger people into the ministry is we got to pay them properly because they haven't got their home they haven't got their cars but we got to pay them properly and where can the church get so much resources if everybody needs to be paid so imagine if some of these roles can be taken by people in their 50s their 80s who know who had made their money and don't need the money as much anymore then that money which i would have spent uh paying them i could pay the young people a bit more and guess what that will help both the young and the old to serve together and as a result build a strong church you know i'm excited because i'm actually just coming into the most effective age range next year i'll be 60 so i'm just about entering the most effective age range and think i thought about it i got 20 more good years to go 20 more good years to grow closer to god 20 more good years to advance the kingdom 20 more good years to empower the next generation and i'm excited about that and that brings me to my last point i want to make sure that i'm investing in the next generation i like psalm 71 verse 18 when the psalmist wrote even when i'm old and gray do not forsake me my god till i declare your power to the next generation your mighty acts to all who are to come you see in the midst of growing old the summits articulated a profound and worthy concern which is what the next generation as i grow older i hope that i will anchor myself deeper in god and i will commit myself to continue to serve the lord and i want to pass on a legacy to the next generation so how do we actually empower the next generation the best thing we can do mentor them point them to jesus and this is going to be my compass as i seek to live the rest of my life proverbs 20 verse 29 has this beautiful verse that goes like this the glory of a young man is in their strength and the gray hair is a splendor of the all the glory of young men is their strength but gray hair is a splendor of the all you know the wise man points out here that the excellence that is in both generation young and old see the young have strength and creativity and energy but the o has wisdom and experience but both are needed to advance the purposes of the kingdom so instead of emphasizing the differences i think it's better to embrace the strengths of both generation and then use it for god's glory my late mentor dr john garlock used to say if only the old can and the young know i like that if only the old can and the young know if only the old people can still do what they do and if only the young people know better because they have plenty of energy but sometimes not much wisdom so put the two together and this what we get the young needs the o to remind them of the past but the o needs the young to envision them about the future the young needs the encouragement of the old but the o needs the enthusiasm of the young the young needs the wisdom of the oak but the old needs the creativity the strength the energy of the young and when both generations come together each with their contribution i think something powerful happens so much of what we think the church can be and should be has often been primarily processed by leaders of the older generation and then we try and cascade it down to the youth and the young adults and all they can do is either accept it reject it or simply ignore it but i do believe that deep within the hearts of the next generation there are dreams and vision passions and desires callings and destinies that they are seeking to express but perhaps not in the way that uh we the older generation are familiar with so i think this is a good time for us to actually be their cheerleader to actually mentor them and point them and let our wisdom and experience become a resource to them and during this process i think we will be able to see both generations coming together tapping into the the energy of the young tapping into the experience of the o uh tapping into the creativity of the young and then tapping into the the wisdom of the all and together we will advance god's kingdom and and i think that's what we need to do as we enter into our golden years and i quickly just recap these 10 things that i i hope we can talk with the panel over but here are 10 things that i just quickly remind all of us number one pay attention to your body because our body sends us sickness of things that we need to deal with and don't be afraid to find out what we need to deal with because the earlier you find out the easier it is to manage it number two accept the inevitable aged look it's okay i look older but i still remain fresh and green inside enjoy good food and and drinks rest well insufficiently have fun try new things okay develop new tenni visit new places connect often with your friends and family draw near to god serve the lord this is the best time to do it between 50 to 80 90 this is the best time to serve the lot and don't forget invest in the next generation you know i i before we go into a time where we can explore some some of your questions i just want to say that we i'm so grateful that all of you have taken time to actually join join join me on in this webinars week to week and we just introduced a new cell material that i just want you to know it's called nurturing the disciples in the life if you are interested in this material we actually have eight sessions each with about 10 minutes of video and then a workbook that comes along with it if you're interested in that just contact arrows resources and they'll be happy to send those things to you okay i'm going to hand this time now back to processing yep and it's going to take us to the panel thank you pastor benny you're welcome yeah that was really an encouraging teaching i think a lot of people when they hear that you're not retiring they're so excited that that that really fires some people up you know we're going to get into our q and a session now so just a prompt that you can type in your questions in the q a section of the stream and i'd like to take this opportunity to introduce our guest panelists first to my left is pastor chiang lai pastor chiang lai is the founder of faith community church and he has been the senior pastor for 10 years before handing over to pastor benny in one season he continued to serve as the executive pastor to pastor benny and he is still currently actively serving as an elder to provide guidance leadership and pastoral care to the leaders and the church and next to him is pastor bob for many of us we affectionately call pastor bob our walking bible commentary he is still serving in various outreach ministries traveling to other countries to preach the gospel and i think once the borders open he's going to travel again and he just celebrated his 90th birthday this year and pastor was an accountant in england before coming into the pastoral ministry with full gospel assembly in perth he then went on to plant joy city church that he passed us today and he still enjoys good food good luck and a robust game of soccer every sunday afternoon wow the lord has grown uh the church faith community church through pastor chiang lai and now pastor beni a church that is multi-generational tapping on the strength of both the young and the old to intentionally build a disciple-making church that is missional to reach our world with the gospel they bring together a tremendous wealth of experience i think that will bless and reach and encourage all of us so maybe i'll just start with a question uh for pastor bob you know one of the things that pastor benny talked about was paying attention to your body pastor bob you're 90 years old and you're still traveling so extensively what advice can you give to those who want to do the same like you to prepare themselves physically what other precautions you take well let me share just um what i see what i was able to do have been able to do over the years i guess some up to 20 years ago late wife and i we used to ride bikes quite extensively and it kept fairly fairly uh well in that way um and then as i grew a bit older i went to the seniors program living longer living stronger down at the local leisureplex and uh and that was good a way of keeping healthy um after a new reconstruction um i continued my physio exercises and and i've been doing them now for quite some time um i make a a real point of having a daily walk at least 25 to 30 minutes um and in the light of what we've heard earlier on i also um try not to eat too much um i try to keep keep my weight down and i don't follow a strict diet but but still today i keep up the physio and the walking and in that way by the grace of god i have been able to to keep well and can do continue to do the things that i'm doing um there is a spiritual factor of course and i like like enoch and noah um who the word of god says walked faithfully with god my walking is also a spiritual walk walking faithfully with god that's great awesome okay i'm just going to ask one question here i lost it uh is that on the screen okay i think uh okay okay what are some of the practical tips and points that younger generation can take note to age graciously that means you have forsake you want to know when you are at the season of your life how can you age graciously maybe i let uh pastor coming you want to address and take that question how can a younger generation a young person age graciously wow this is big time well thank you thank you for allowing me to share my life story really i'm not here saying as an expert i want to share what i what i do i think for me the main difference is knowing the lord jesus christ himself because for those who know me especially my wife you could tell what i was like uh long before i i knew the lord uh before 1988 you know i was i was miserable disorganized i was just like everybody else uh chasing off the uh choice and life and and dream life my own way and it's only uh soon after i got to know jesus got to know the lord and i begin to i begin to uh um i begin to understand the wisdom of god as opposed to all this the wisdom of the word i spent my life gathering and and and and i'll share with you the details later on but uh the long and short of it is that as i begin to as i begin to take the step of obedience to do what is um what is in scripture and to try my best to live that kind of life um i find a blessing so it wasn't like i was smart and i was just i think the one thing that i do i suppose one thing i do well is i uh listen um yeah yeah i think continuing to learn and listen to the lord is a way that you can just you know uh have god direct you not just when you're aging but in every season and stage of life i'm going to ask the ask pastor chiang lai to answer the next question how can the younger generation help their parents aging parents and grandparents to age gracefully what can the younger people do to help those who are aging thank you that's a very important question because the bible reminds us and there is a promise that if we honor our parents all will go well with our life so we need to play our part the younger ones while we are healthy we need to love them honor them respect them and help in whatever practical way and if they can just give them a little pocket money as a way of ordering them i think that these are practical things that every young people can do i remember when i was in my teens early 20s i always would help my dad with gardening and i learned many things about god learning from him so through the years even now whenever i plan anything transplant anything actually practically everyone will strive and grow because of what i've learned from my father in my early days so for young people i would encourage you remember the scripture honor your father and your mother and it's a promise that god has given to us that we will all go well with our own lives so in the areas that we honor our parents in turn we will be blessed so do what you can thank you pastor ching like i think that is just so encouraging and powerful as younger people when we honor our parents you know they feel the love they feel their honor and it really gives them the strength it really gives them what it takes you know to walk that season of their lives thank you pastor ching life that's such actually you know when it comes to now that i've got grown children what brings me a lot of joys when they they actually come by and visit you know that's really something that helps me a lot in terms of staying connected with them and when they bring their kids over it's a real delight so actually spending time is just one very practical way in which you can help your your older parents to grow old gracefully just giving them time i think it's great yeah giving time giving money uh just you know giving that honor will really really help so panelists just feel free to also uh chip in you know as you have things on your mind to share i go to the next question i think it is a really good question that many of us will probably ask how important is money to aging graciously so maybe i asked past the ball my goodness [Laughter] i don't think a lot about money is it because you have a lot uh you know god god has graciously provided sufficient and uh so um yeah god has been very good in providing um but um i don't spend a lot of time thinking about it be quite honest am i i i trust god in the situation uh having been a missionary uh overseas um for some 17 years and trusting god in that situation for him to provide um graciously he provided when i came back and um and yes so um i have not to be honest with you i have not given my uh a lot of time and thought to it i think that's a really good point uh for this season of life because the less you worry the younger you feel i think yeah you know pastor chiang lai worked as a banker best person and before he talks i think we just need to recognize that uh pastor chiang lai has been the most generous spiritual leader he has really given a lot not just of his energy by his finances for the work of the kingdom passage what what do you think about this you know money when it comes to aging i guess i've been a banker all my life money is important but i don't think it should overwhelm us i think we need to whether we have a lot or we have little i think we need to be content one of the verses that my wife gave to me when i became a believer was set your affection on things above amen not on things of these colossians and also she gave me godliness with contentment is great so i try i try with god's help to be content and to be grateful one thing i can say is that god has given me this gift of being grateful i i say it's a gift i think it's important in life that we need to be grateful because all that we are all that we have our skills our abilities whether it's to make money or even to work hard it's all the gift from god and so we need to give uh to be grateful to god when we are grateful to god we are content there is a underlying contentment within our spirit and that's important i think in this world we need to be careful not to like easily just say strife and then everything becomes just a red race [Music] yeah that's so true you know i think uh gratefulness inspires generosity this question i think is pretty important because it really got a lot of votes so i'm going to ask the ex-accountant what are some of the practical tips you can give to someone who is younger to prepare themselves for this season of life when they uh at the points where they have retired you know how do they build up their financial resources what are some of the key essential principles you think you'll be good for them to learn and to practice um i don't have much to give you other than going back to my earlier point that that since i since i came to know the lot since i know god my mind began to renew i was an accountant so i was trained about money finance and the importance of it offshore sure i know i know how to budget and how to prepare in advance and investment we we know all that i think you're also encountering right yeah so um yeah so um but as for as for aging as for as well when we get into the retirement age i think what uh pastor bob also shared the fact that we uh trust god and it's it's a simpler it's as simple as that um my testimony was that uh i've been i've been serving god uh 33 years now 33 years since a big aggression in 1988 totally non-christian and now serving god 33 years and and i haven't been to any other job except this job the formal job at fga and now running a small church and uh and i mean i i'm not here to brag uh by myself but rather to brag about the faithfulness of god uh in providing the truth to it all it is true that uh jesus he was made he was made poor so that i can become rich and i can i can trust him with my with my life um and of course the proof of the pudding is for the people who know me uh then they will see more of hopefully the testimony is there you can see the you can see the testament that's the best that's the best evidence of my story otherwise it's just a lot of hot air yeah yeah so i think different people um god bless them in different ways so some has more some have less but i guess the most important thing is that if you have more you you spend more but if you have less you you spend less but we all remain happy in the law right whether we have a lot or we have letter we remain content a lot and i'm sure in your younger days the for a lot of our people nowadays are quite they're fairly conversant with things like um having to to say buy an insurance policy that will help you build up over time and just money that is gathered little by little will grow you know but anyone who wants to get rich quick you may end up with nothing so it'd be wise to uh it'd be wise to just start with small things and just allow um allow things to build over time and you have something when when you retire and i think all this is already taught to us in the world does teach all these things to us but what the bible teaches that the world cannot teach it's that spirit of contentment that you can never learn except by the grace of god but i'll let you answer this next question it appears that it is easier for whether you agree or not that's the question for the older generation to engage and reach out to the younger ones but why the reverse seem difficult um are you is he actually saying then that the younger find it hard to reach out to the older yes so in your pastoral ministry as you have spent so much time to build a intergenerational church you know you see how the young and old can interact this questioner is asking i guess what he observes is that it seems that the the younger one finds it tough to reach out to the older ones true or not but maybe you share your you know insights i don't know but but from when i was a younger person i actually find that if i were to take the step to actually ask the older person for help ask the older person for their wisdom very seldom do i actually get rejection because i think sometimes the that that barrier may be more perceived than real and one advice i would give to any younger person who is trying to get a wisdom from an older person would be never say no on the other party's behalf because sometimes we tend to do that i look at pastor bob and he's so busy i don't think he'll have time for me i think he's so senior i don't think he'll be want to be bothered with this young punk like me but then what i've done is i basically say no on his behalf but why don't i just ask faster china we would you'll be happy to spend an hour with me uh you'll be surprised how how how glad they were they will want to give you that time so don't say no on anybody's behalf why don't you just make the approach and actually ask can i have a cup of coffee with you and ask you some questions you will set it up i don't know what do the rest of you i agree with you because i remember when i was young i always found it so much easier to relate to other people i remember i used to ask my uncle my father's elder brother who was a lawyer and i got wrong well with him i got along well with a lot of older people in church as well as my superiors in the bank i don't know maybe that's the wiring that god has made me i found it much easier to relate to older people and because i could relate to them i i learned many of life's lessons would you would you guys be happy to spend time with a younger man comes to you absolutely yeah i suspect yeah so the key is ask keep on asking next question is actually also in a way related to the question we have just answered it says that the younger generation have a tendency to shy from speaking to the older generation and learn from them what can we do to remedy this yeah so maybe let pastor bob you want to share your thoughts on this yes well i think on from my perspective as a as an older person i want to show that i am prepared to to give my time yeah to give my time to people and and um and personally i was given a prophetic word when i was 65 that i would be a caleb and um that that became something very real to me when i reached 85 because that was uh the year that uh when i when canada was 85 years of age he came into his inheritance and and god said to me my inheritance are my spiritual children and um and so um i have sought maybe not not not always been true to it but i have sought to give my time to those who seek to seek advice and seek the whole matter of mentoring as we've been looking at it and that is something that's uh that's very deep in my own heart so one way is for the older generation to show that they are available that's right that's right maybe take the initiative to strike a conversation and just be there to just mingle you know have a chat you know with the younger ones let people see that you know there is that interaction between the younger and the older so from your perspective we have just said what can an older person do but what should a younger person do so maybe ask pastor coming what can a young person do to remove that inhibition from himself or herself yeah i think relationship is not easy right i think especially when you don't know one another you want to just start out um but i think maybe this is where we bring in the love language or something especially if a younger person and if you if you if if the older person that you are going to be meeting is is uh meaningful you you might want to find out what is the love language or or something towards that whether whether that person drink coffee or not or just walking along the shopping center whatever it is uh is to is to find what that person find find find how that would make that person welcoming uh feel welcome brother uh i think i think that's a that's a good start that is already an established that's already bridging the gaps that's already bridging the gap and the rest which is i think uh that's that's how i would be do it i i i would do it you know i think you're encouraging the younger ones also to invest the time to discover and you know to build a relationship and relationship is built over time yeah you know okay uh the next question maybe i asked pastor chiang lai to answer this uh the question asked is loneliness during oh can cause psychological depression how do i help a widowed parent to overcome loneliness it's a very important question because as we get older we tend to be to spend time with ourselves i for one actually enjoy uh being myself i i am by nature a shy person so uh but to answer the question for with the law of visual i think firstly we treat them naturally [Music] i think sometimes in times like this it's okay just to sit with them have a cup of coffee and wait for them to talk and depending on what they want to say then we answer them we begin the conversation sometimes we make the mistake of rushing in to strike up a conversation but in times like this but especially they are just you know just lost some someone built them don't have to rush in i think silence is okay let them let them give them space allow them time before they open up and if they do we ask god for wisdom how to be relate to them and begin that journey i think we all know from the word of god that god really has a heart for the widows and for the orphans you know for those people who are experiencing loneliness and what pastor chingla has just said is that we be sensitive we take time to be with them i think that's so important next question is in relation to empty nest um yes uh i'll maybe get both pasta chiang lai and plaster benny to also attempt that although not quite there yet but yeah you know so uh yeah so the question is in relation to emptiness what is the secret on a long lasting relationship for an old couple i love your children it's natural but i think we need to love them and don't run their lives for them give them space to be who they are but be supportive we dare to encourage them and you see they will come like our daughter it took me a long while before i could release really released her physically to have her own home but we continued that relationship ellen always cooks for her and she knows that we love her and now we love her husband and uh she automatically responds so she will always come by and when she comes by she she knows i love bananas she always buys bananas and things so what is the secret uh for you and auntie allen to have such a strong relationship i love them i think they love them it's not just in words but i think in deeds and of course in prayer we have always been praying for lou ever since she was young and even when in her teenage years if she when she goes out i will never go to bed until i know she's back home okay yeah buster benny what about you i think for me one of the one of the most common mistakes that i think couples make is when their kids started coming they start to focus their entire life around their children and they no longer really have personal time between the couple because too much of the life revolves around their kids so when the kids started flying the nest and they start leaving the nest all of a sudden the old couple realized that they have not been with one another for a long time and i've actually noticed that for some older couples they actually don't go out as a couple they always find another couple to go out with i think it's because they are no longer comfortable to be with each other because they always have their kids around them their whole life revolves around the kids so i think one of the important things to do to to actually be ready for the emptiness is that we actually have been dating our wives all through life including the child raising years so that by the time the kids leave nothing really have changed that much you know i'm still i'm still you know comfortable to be with my wife and we we go out every every off day we still go on dates every of day even though the kids are no longer with us that much that's because i've intentionally tried to make sure that i've dedicated time for her once a week all through our all through the years so i think that's one way we can handle the empty nesting so uh what pastor benny is saying is the key is start now yeah don't wait okay uh the next question is with regards to mentoring and maybe i asked pastor and it is somewhat similar to what pastor bob has actually talked about just now but uh this question is what is one thing the older christian must do to engage the younger christian in the area of mentoring is the error mentoring someone yes so yep uh it's of course understanding the mission and commissioner and the and the reason of our existence is important that that it is a calling for us to do that and and to be engaged with people who are seeking and god willing and the mentorship will go from there of course we cannot do anything that god has not given us favor for um the first peter tell us to give uh give a reason give give give a reason for your hope so when someone asks for hope that we gave we gave a reason and that that's always a good beginning if um so to to help to help the younger people to go on and pursuing a life of pursuing god i think the first thing i have to do is to do it myself i i think that that is the greatest example i i your pastor preached so well and i've got scriptures here i want to share but really people that knows you and i and and that is the greatest testimony how how what i do in my day-to-day thing what i what i share like for instance um uh every just now early on you share about um my spots on on sunday every sunday i i wouldn't play with a few guys some of them from your from the church and and i got to know them uh very well but not i i don't share deep spiritual things with all of them but given the opportunity i would get into that i don't have a sort of uh uh a class to to mentor to mentor each one and follow up which one but you know uh on the field um you can see some of the characters you can see whether the whether the whether the whether the fruit is coming out or not you know or something else that's coming up from the mouth um so i think uh does that answer your question yeah yes thank you so much uh can i say something yes please i still remember something happened back in with fcc uh when um fcc was at murdoch university um this this man rushed up to me and he said um god told me to come and see you and and i was sort of shocked at first but then i and talking with him i realized um and he realized that he was actually asking to be mentored yeah i continue with that relationship until now wow and so if you want to be mentored ask yeah that's right ask just ask yeah i think what pasta coming is saying that the way to engage is be a model you know be an example and people will be drawn to you the next question is an interesting one something that we sometimes uh say like uh in the kingdom of god there's uh you don't retire there's no retirement uh you only get refired so this question is maybe i ask faster ching like has been just serving first faithfully for such a long time as the word retirement is not mentioned in the bible what is your biblical view with regards to retirement and obviously however your answer will apply to yourself well i always some 90s one of my favorite songs moses says lord teach us to number our days that we may have a heart of wisdom and so i seek ask god what is that wisdom i think that wisdom is he gives to us time and opportunities to serve him and when he comes i think we just need to take it right now as as a retired person i i like to stay connected to fcc fcc has been my home i love this church i love the lord love the church i stay connected but i don't want to get too involved in the sense that i give room to my successes i remember when i handed the church over to pastor benny i deliberately took six months to be awake to give him time to settle so that the congregation when they have just changed the senior pastor that they don't look at the old man to see whether the woman is happy and i stepped away and you know allow the congregation to grow with us too many and thank god that has been the experience and now as as i'm retired from active ministry in that sense i am available but i don't want to interfere so i try my best not not to go and look over the shoulders of my colleagues but i'm there if they need to ask me something i'm i'm there so fast you are retired in the sense in the official sense of you know the word uh but you're still active you're still providing guidance uh leadership uh council and pastoral care pastoral support whenever uh it is being asked of you so i think what pastor changla is saying that regardless of how you think about the word retirement is really about fulfilling the call of god for you in that season of your life in the role that he has given to you and as you do that uh faithfully you are going to be a really great blessing and daniel thank you so much for being such a good model such a good encouragement and example for everyone including those who are younger and this next question has also a high number of votes and on the flip side you know because you have just been such a wonderful example but i guess on you know the other side there are people who may not have experienced the same kind of uh person uh older mentor like you and so this person asked in relation to ephesians 6 4 fathers do not exasperate your children his question is in what ways do the old exasperate the young and i guess a follow-up question to the question is then how do we not do it so maybe faster chiang lai you know i think parents should not impose their desires their expectations from their children i think god has a plan for each and every one of them he's so clear in the scriptures jeremiah 29 11. i know the plans that i i have for you please will prosper you not to harm you so i think we need to rest parents rest in the lord and allow the children space to grow even if they make mistakes god will take them back our job is to pray for them but not to try to steal them in such a way that they must feed your more and think this is the mistake that sometimes we make our good intention but it this army it results in more harmful so i think we need to determine space that's how i feel let's just give them space for them to make the mistakes when they make the mistakes you be there to support them encourage them pray for them help them not not criticize a condemned but at those times when they fail or fall be there to encourage them i think that those are moments your children will value most in the times of discouragement pain be there to help them don't go and ask questions just be there to love them support them and don't say i told you so right [Laughter] faster yeah yes i think a word that's used in this situation is the word relinquish i think so often uh parents find it difficult to relinquish their children in such a way that they stopped controlling stop uh planning their lives and and uh um yeah so that i mean i think probably many of us have seen uh examples of um parents who who need to let go they need to relinquish the the the children as they reach the right age to be free to make their own decisions amen and so yeah a problem i see from time to time is the fact that a lack of parents willing to relinquish the children yeah uh let go and like god but like the other day god is their heavenly father that's right you know they are chief shepherd we are just under shepherds pastor benny uh just now you in you know the segments when you talk about the practical ideas uh you know you say something about accepting the inevitable aging look a really practical one uh i just like to ask you you know some people say the longer you serve the older you get but the better you look you talk about nurturing the inner climate within so that you can remain fresh and green on the inside but how does one do that what are some of the things you can do actually one one one would be don't spend time with all the old people all the time i think we actually engage with the younger people they actually keep us you know happy and excited and i i love drawing from the enthusiasm of the young and the idealism that they have and they believe they can they can take the world and part of it is of course it may not be very realistic but still um i think that keeps us young as well so i actually enjoy spending time with young people and learning about what's actually happening in their world so that's one and of course apart from that i believe the if we stay connected with the holy spirit he actually keep us fresh and green amen psalms 92 which i quoted from actually starts off with this he says um is um my horns are lifted up like that of a wild ox because i've been anointed with fresh oil so it's about staying connected with the holy spirit and allowing him to refresh us every day keep us fresh and green on the inside look at look at all my brothers here look at them tonight yes what i have found and i i sort of shocked a couple of pastors with this i said uh not so long ago i said the older i get the better it gets and and one of the pastors oh i've never heard that said before but by the grace of god as i have gone on in my christian life and and and ministry um god has has just taken me on into an ever deeper relationship with with the lord jesus and and it just has meant so much more to me and um yeah so absolutely the older i get the better it gets amen amen uh we're coming to uh the end of tonight's uh webinar i just want to take this opportunity to thank our guest panelists pastor ching lai pastor bob and pastor cummings where you are give them a big hand thank you thank you for mr manny really thank you for you know creating this let's talk about series to talk about theological important theological truths in such a empowering and encouraging way giving us practical tools and tips that you know we can put into practice what uh we read in the word of god uh can you just spend some time maybe to tell us what's next what's going on well first of all we'll be taking a month's break uh from this as i prepare for the next series and our next series will actually start only a month from now but that's the 4th of november and we are talking for four weeks after that we'll talk about the very important subject we're going to talk about the holy spirit actually i really want to reintroduce the person and the power of the holy spirit uh to to us and i i really think that um i sense in my heart you know that god is wanting to revitalize this area uh after a whole series of what's uh going online because the pandemic and all that i i almost sense that there is a certain passivity that comes over the church because part of watching live stream and all that i think has made christianity into a spectator sports you know you're almost there just to watch things happen uh on the screen but i believe that the holy god wants to engage us spiritually in every sense of the word and the key person of the trinity that does that is the holy spirit and i really want to be able to talk to you about the holy spirit and to reintroduce the person and the power of the spirit to us so i look forward to and we really wish that you will come and join us starting from the 4th of november let's talk about the holy spirit so that's what we'll be looking to thank you pastor benny once again uh if you like to give to the ministries that have brought to you this let's talk about webinar series you can do so with the information provided on your screen to either faith community church or ariel's ministry thank you so much for your support and your prayerful consideration to uh just bless the work of the ministry uh as we close i just sensed in my heart that there are two groups of people that we should pray for uh first there may be some of you who are caring uh in maybe this season of life a burden a heavy burden of regret feeling that you have missed the opportunity to do or to achieve what is precious to you we all know that god is a god of redemption and restoration and i'm just going to ask later on pastor chiang lai to pray for those of you who are feeling this burden of regret for this burden to be removed from you and for you to know how to redeem the time and then experience the joy of restoration and then to close this session i'm going to ask pastor benny to pray for those of us who feel that we want to do something for god but are inhibited by how old we feel we are can you pray that god will give courage and wisdom to get us to keep running the race you know someone said uh it is not about passing the baton is about running the race keep running so that we can be a model for the next generation on what following jesus christ look like so uh pray for us that we will keep running and keep investing into the next generation so pastor jingle god our heavenly father we thank you for the promise that you have given to us from your word that you will restore the years the locals have eaten locusts in our lives because perhaps our missed opportunities not listening to you but we thank you lord that there is no condemnation to those who are christ amen and so we ask by your grace that holy spirit you come and release the burden release the burden that are in the hearts of your children those who have felt that they have missed opportunities but we thank you with you there is always hope because you are the god of hope you are the god of grace and you give us opportunities after opportunities yes lord but help us holy spirit to listen to your still small voice saying to each one of us this is the way my son my daughter walked in and gave us the strength and the grace holy spirit to listen and to obey and to follow in the footsteps that you have planned for each one of us yes amen lord i pray that our brothers our sisters everyone listening to you they will take courage from this promise of your scripture that you have a wonderful plan a wonderful purpose for each and every one of us plans to give us hope and a future so that we might come back to you have a wonderful relationship with you amen so i pray lord let you just quieten and strengthen the hearts of your people this night that they will look to you the god of all hope so that they can have joy in their hearts now you're the giver of joy and so we ask that your joy will fill their hearts and their spirits amen especially tonight in jesus name amen amen lord we live up to you or the elderlies in our midst lord we pray psalms 92 over them may their strength be lifted up like that of a wild ox because you have anointed them with fresh oil lord we pray that you anoint every of my elderly brothers and sisters that lord in these golden years of their life you anoint them afresh with your holy spirit so lord their strengths will be lifted up that they can serve you and draw near to you like never before lord thank you that even the the glory of the lat of their latter days will be greater than the former yeah but we pray that the days ahead as they step up and begin to give of themselves to you and to advance your purposes to invest in the next generation god you use them mightily now you give them that spirit of grace to be able to relate to the next generation to speak into their life and to paul the years of experience the years of understanding you have given to them they'll be able to impact the next generation lord i ask now in the name of jesus that all those who are older more advanced in years they will be strengthened by you no they will not and they will as pastor bob have said the older they get the better they become because god they are depending on you so we speak that over every older person in our congregation over the livestream people that are watching may you be encouraged by the spirit a lot this evening as you listen to the the words of all our penalties as they encourage you in their golden years may you also be inspired to live even more for the lord in the days ahead in jesus name amen amen amen once again thank you so much for joining us this evening and a big big hand to the technical crew who has guided us through this thank you uh webinar series so see you again on the 4th of november when we talk about the holy spirit god bless and have a good night god bless

Channel: Faith Community Church Perth

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Length: 84min 6sec (5046 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 02 2020