Learn How To Grow a Love that Lasts with Rick Warren

hello everybody wow it's good to see you and it's good to have all of our 16 campuses joining us online happy Valentine's Day this weekend and if you take out your message notes I want us to look at growing a love that lasts growing a love that lasts a lifetime now in your life there will be many things that change over your lifetime particularly the way you look have you looked in the mirror lately you're not no spring chicken anymore baby uh that's a positive way to start off isn't it thank you God bless you go home that's all you need to hear this week thank you very much over your lifetime there's a lot of things are gonna change in your life some for good some for bad but there's one thing that's never never never never never gonna change in your life and it is God's unconditional unrelenting undiminished ever lasting love for you that is what you can build your life on that's a foundation for a stable life God's love is reliable it is unchangeable it is consistent it is dependable its steadfast its unwavering its enduring the fact that God will never never never love me any more than he does in this moment and he will never never ever love me any less than he does in this moment moment means that God's love for you and for me is ever lasting that's the way God loves you but he doesn't stop there he then says this and here's the hard part I want you to love everybody else the exact same way hello what no no I want the conditional love for me to give out you got to earn my love no God says I want you to love with a love that lasts on and on and on John chapter 15 if you pull out your message notes the very first verse Jeremiah 30 1 verse 3 God says I've loved you with an everlasting love I loved it in message paraphrase I've never quit loving you and I never will you can build your life on that verse right there but then here's the hard part John 15 I command you to love each other by the way in the same way that I love you hmm how in the world you do that how do you practice ever lasting love I mean is it even possible to have everlasting love today in America the divorce rate is 41 percent for first-time marriages it's 60 percent for second time marriages in divorce rate for third time marriages is 73 percent the track record gets worse it gets worse now the truth is anybody can fall in love it you know it's like falling in a ditch you mean I fell in love okay anybody can fall in love but it takes a whole lot more to stay in love everybody would agree with that one okay it's a whole lot harder to stay in love than to fall in love and the reason is because it includes choices you have to make some tough choices in order to stay in love and you have to make those choices over and over and over and over and over and this Valentine's weekend I want us to look at that from God's Word I mean is it even possible to have a love that lasts an entire lifetime let me just take a little survey here if you have been married 25 years or longer would you stand up right now okay look at this 25 years along look at this okay congratulations I honor you now if you have been married over 40 years stay standing look at this 40 years all right thank you now if I were to ask each of you you may be seated if I were to ask each of these people who've been married 40 years or longer was it easy what do you think they'd say of course not kay and I last year had our 40th anniversary I rolled over in bed the morning I said I'm proud of you honey she said I'm tired of you too hearing is the first thing to go you know but Mark Twain said you don't really know the depth of real love till you've been married 25 years you can get along on good looks for five or six I'm no prophet but I can tell you two things about the people who just stood number one was their love they've been married 25 years longer their love has been tested by doubt and depression and despair and differences and disagreements and disappointments and defeats and their love has been tested by distance and it's been tested by delays and dead ends and by debt and by disease and by demands on their life because you don't it's not easy to stay together these are what I call the Big D's doubt despair death you know disease all these things but they avoided the big D divorce admit they made it over that one and the reason they made it over that one is because they made some tough choices these choices are not always popular they're not always easy they're certainly not convenient but the fact is and I've told you this many times love is a choice love is not a feeling love produces feelings whoo-hoo yeah it produces some great feelings but love is not a feeling if love were feeling God could not command it cuz you can't command a feeling it's like telling a little kid is crying I come hand you to be happy I'm trying daddy you can't force the feelings feelings are just there okay you can't command a feeling love is not a feeling you produces feelings love is a choice you choose to love and if you stop loving that's your choice don't blame anybody else you chose to stop loving love is a choice and you choose to love you choose to not love how do you grow a love that lasts a lifetime first Corinthians chapter 13 verse 7 says this four things about love four choices we need to make love never stops being patient never stops believing never stops hoping and never gives up that's everlasting love that's the kind of love God has for you it's the kind of love God wants you to have for other people and so this week in town and I want to share with you these four choices let's get right into it number one the first choice for a lasting love is that lasting love extends grace lasting love extends grace I want to spend the most time on this point because the longer you are married the easier it is to become ungracious you just start getting a little bit more critical as time goes on taking each other for granted every day if you're going to have a love that lasts you've got to choose to be merciful choose to be loving choose to be gracious choose to forgive choose to be patient choose to cut people slack no relationship whether it's marriage or any other at no relationship is gonna last without grace without a little bit of forgiveness a lot of acceptance and a lot of patience in any long-term relationship you have to put up with a lot right it's awesome elbows jab just in um now let's just admit it it's easy to show grace one time you're every one time that's no big deal I can forgive you for that I'm big enough guy and I you know it's no big deal to forgive a person to show grace to show patience one time it's that thing that goes on and on and on and on and on and just irritate you know in but the Bible says this love never stops being patient message has love puts up with anything the Bible says love patiently accepts all things the Bible says love is always ready to make allowances now when do I need to extend grace to the people in my life three important times you need to write these down three important times you need to work on this is a choice you're going to have to make every day of your life you're going to have your relationships last showing grace the first is I'm going to have to show or extend grace when their flaws and their faults irritate me I heard a murmur in the land just now when their flaws and their faults irritate me now the longer you love somebody the more you know their flaws and you can either be critical or you can be gracious you can be picky or you can be kind you can be a perfectionist or you can show mercy the reason why grace is essential in any relationship is because we're both in that relationship imperfect you're a sinner they are a sinner we're together two sinners can't create a perfect relationship it is impossible and foolish to think that two imperfect people could create a perfect relationship it isn't going to happen so grace has to be at the foundation of every single human relationship between parents and children brothers and sisters moms and dads husbands and wives boyfriends and girlfriends employees and employers co-workers and on and on and on we need grace proverbs 17 verse 9 disregarding another person's faults preserves love I love that I remember hearing one time a lady talking to another lady in church and she said um do you remember when your husband did that and she was talking about a bad thing that happened and I loved what this woman said she said I distinctly remember forgetting that event that's a choice I distinctly remember forgetting that event why because love disregards love disregards another person's fault that preserves love seasons two four or four to be humble and gentle by being patient with each other making allowances for each other's faults because of your love circle the phrase making allowances now notice it says be humble be gentle and and it says be loving because of your love do you consider yourself to be a loving person you'd say probably yeah I do do you consider yourself to be a humble person yeah I just wrote a book on it's a best-seller how to be humble like me do you consider yourself to be a gentle person well the truth is you're none of those if you're critical of other people's fall faults and flaws you are not humble if you're critical of other people's faults applause you were prideful every time you criticize somebody's fault somebody's flaws you are being prideful you are not being gentle and you certainly are not being loving because love is patient love puts up with anything love patiently accepts all things love is always ready to make allowances everybody needs an allowance the rest of your life you're gonna need a grace allowance in all of your relationships kay knows that there are two times of a week when she needs to make special allowance for me the first is Saturday afternoon when I get PMS pre message syndrome and it's gone oh god this is not good enough these people need something better than this surely somebody could teach this better than me why don't you get somebody who really knows how to do this and I'm always going through this every week on you know pre message syndrome and then the other time she shows grace is on Monday when I'm recovering after all of the multiple services of the weekend but she makes allowance when other flaws and faults irritate me then I need to extend grace and other times when their words or actions hurt me the truth is because we're human beings we hurt each other sometimes intentionally but the truth is a lot of times we hurt each other unintentionally we say things we don't mean we say things off-the-cuff we do things we were not thoughtful we're thinking about ourselves we're not intentionally trying to be hurtful but often we're careless with our words and other actions and the reason why we're careless is because we're not paying attention we're not paying attention to other people's lives you might write this on your outline grace listens grace listens the reason why we hurt each other is because we're not really listening to each other God gave you two ears and one mouth you know that means you listen twice as much as you talk the first duty of love is to listen I'll say it again the first duty of love is always to listen the number one organ for showing love is your ear it's listen when you look at people in the eye and you listen to them with your ear you're saying I value you and that says I love you it makes you gracious the problem we have in all our relationships is we talk too much and we listen too little you know I grew up in the country and we actually had a lake behind our house and it was filled with French frogs who would croak every night did you know that bullfrogs when they croak they have a muscle-up in their throat that when they croak that muscle cancels that frequency to their brain they can't hear how obnoxious they are we're a lot like bullfrogs we don't realize how obnoxious we are when we're talking talking talking talking and we're not listening and we can't even hear it now I used to do marriage counseling I can't do it anymore because the church is just so big but when I did the the single most important marriage advice I could give you for the rest of your life is the next verse James chapter 1 verse 19 it's up here on the screen everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry if every married couple followed that verse 95% of all the arguments wouldn't happen usually we're quick to speak and we're slow to listen and then we're fast to anger now if you do the first to the third is automatic if you are quick to listen and if you are slow to speak you will be slow to get angry that's a choice it's not an easy choice it's not a convenient choice but that's a loving choice it's an unselfish choice and if you want to have a love that lasts forever you got to learn how to be quick to listen and slow to speak so slow to anger now if you want a love that lasts you can't get hold on to those those anchors you can't hold on to your hurts a lot of people when they get hurt in relationship they stockpile them for ammunition they not only stockpile they not only remember every hurt they've done they categorize them they inventory them they get them all ready so then later when they do a mistake they go well you did this but you did this but you did this but you did this but you did this but you did this it's talking to a lady other day and she said man you know I did something wrong and my husband got historical I said you mean hysterical and I said no no historical he told me everything I've ever done wrong the Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs you got to let it go proverbs 9 17 verse 9 love forgets mistakes nagging about them parts the best of friends if you want it you want your marriage to last you gotta eliminate nagging it doesn't work it's never changed into anybody which is by the way why I don't nag you nagging doesn't work in the home it doesn't work from the pulpit every week I could get up here and tell you everything you're doing wrong cuz I know it I see you I read your mail and and I could get up here and I could just nag you every week has nagging ever changed anybody no it doesn't it's worthless it doesn't work in church it doesn't work at home and doesn't work at school it doesn't work at work it doesn't work anywhere nagging parts the best friends the Bible says love forgives all offenses and they're on your outline proverbs 19:11 when someone wrongs you it is a great virtue to what circle that ignore it just ignore that's extending grace you extend grace when the their flaws and their faults irritate you and you stand grace when their words or actions hurt you and then the third time you show grace is when they sin and your marriage partner is going to sin sometimes against you sometimes just against God sometimes against others 1st Peter 4 verse 8 says this let your love for one another be intense let your love for one another be intense because love covers over a multitude a sense it doesn't make a big deal about it it forgives Colossians look at the next verse 313 put up with each other and forgive each other as quickly and as completely as the Lord forgave you a great marriage is simply the union of two great forgivers okay and I have a great marriage what she's a great forgiving I've learned to be a great forgiver and a great marriage is not a perfect marriage it's a marriage of two great forgivers I want you to write this down there on your outline I must choose to extend grace over and over I must choose to extend grace over and over and over and over it's a daily thing it's not like once in a lifetime it's over and over and over and once you write that down I must choose to extend grace over and over I want you to think of maybe a name you might show that to this week who could you show grace to whose falls and fall faults irritates you and whose words or actions have hurt you or they've send and you just need to let it go lasting love extends grace now turn your outline over and on the back of the outline the second part is that lasting love not only expresses or extends grace it expresses faith that's the second thing God teaches us from first Corinthians 13 lasting love expresses faith now what at one of my timeline here I'm talking about that when you really love somebody you believe in them you have faith in them you trust them you build their confidence you relieve their fears you your trust causes them to blossom faith causes people to blossom again this is a try this is a choice you have to choose to trust people love never stops believing the Bible says love always trust the Bible says love never loses faith the Bible says see faith and love are intertwining in fact love is built on trust now I want you to listen real carefully if you can't learn to trust people you will never learn to love and you will never learn to be loved because love and trust go together a lot of people think they got a love problem what you really have is a trust problem love and trust go together and love is trust and when you trust people you are loving them and the Bible says love always trust love always believes love expresses faith you know Delilah got a lot of things wrong that was the girlfriend of Samson but she did get this one right and in the next verse Judges chapter 16 she says to Samson how can you say I love you when you don't trust me well she got it love and trust are two sides of the same coin now if you're going to build a love that lasts forever you got to learn to trust people you got to learn to be more trusting now there are three kinds of people in the world there are gullible people who trust everything they believe everything everything that's told them they believe it everything gullible people there are cynical people who believe nothing they don't trust anybody they're cynical and then there are loving people who give you the benefit of the doubt that's love now question do you think it's wise or do you think it's foolish to trust people that's gonna say an awful lot about your future happiness how you answer that question it's question that was asked many years ago in the magazine Psychology Today and they did an article called trust and its consequences and there's this guy dr. Julian Rotter of the University of Connecticut and this guy spent years studying the impact of trust on your behavior on your personality and on your relationships and he studied it for like 35 years the impact of trust on your behavior your relationships and your personality and he developed a very famous scale it's quite well known now to determine a person's level of trust and then he cross-referenced it to ten different kinds of patterns in life and here's what he discovered the genuinely trusting people not skeptical people not gullible people not cynical people but genuinely trusting people are number one consistently less gullible than distrusting people to have a higher IQ than distrustful people three are far better adjusted psychologically than distrustful people and four live much happier lives studies have shown over and over and over again that it's actually better to be too trusting than it is to be too distrustful you'll actually harm yourself less by being too trusting than by being too distrustful why the Bible says love always trust it expresses faith you know to me one of the most interesting verses in the Bible is this next verse on your outline mark chapter 6 verse 5 and 6 and it says this Jesus has gone to this town it said Jesus could not do many mighty works there in this town I'm talking about miracles healings things like that Jesus could not do many mighty works there because of their lack of faith now notice this is no interesting it's not Jesus lack of faith that prevented the miracles it's not Jesus lack of faith that prevented the healings it's not Jesus lack of faith from preventing all these good blessings from happening it was the lack of faith of the people who were there it was their unbelief it was their lack of trust you see if that's true of Jesus it's really true of you when people don't trust you you can do as much you don't feel the trust of other people you're not as empowered you're not as liberated you're not as blossoming and when you don't trust other people you limit them you hold them back if this is true of Jesus the Son of God it's certainly true of you and certainly true of be that we are held back by the distrust of other people when people don't believe in us when people don't trust us when people don't you know show confidence in us and yet the Bible says love trusts you want to love that lasts forever you need to trust your mate you need to build their confidence you need to build their faith you need to show faith in them but somebody believes in you it is amazing what you can do kay and I have been a pretty effective team in our lives and one of the big reasons not that we're talented that we really believe in each other I believe in her and she believes in me and I remember when Kay and I first got married she was so shy that she would not do a Bible study in a small group now she speaks before thousands and millions of people she spoken before you know Congress and the United Nations and things like that and she goes all over the world speaking but when I first met her she was shy retiring and the first little Bible study she did in this church she said her knees knocked the whole time for 45 minutes as she was teaching five or seven women in our little apartment but I believe in my wife and all of my life I have decided that love believes love encourages loves as you can do this and I've watched her do what she thought she could not do and I've watched her become a world class leader and speaker and it's her love and trust in me you know that famous story from Fort Worth 35 36 years ago when I walked into the bedroom of the little house we were renting in Fort Worth said hey honey I think God's calling us go to Saddleback I built a Saddleback Valley you've never heard of it but we're gonna I think we should move to Southern California and start a church with no money no members no friends no building and I don't know anybody and I've never been a pastor what do you think and the famous line of my wife was well I believe in God and I believe in you so let's go for it yeah she actually actually said at this it scares me to death but I believe in God and I believe in you so let's go for it and how would history be different if my wife hadn't said let's go for it just causes me to wonder what your loved one might have accomplished in life if you had believed in them more what your wife could have accomplished if you had trusted her more what your husband could have done in life if you had said I'm behind you 100% on this scares me to death but I believe in God I believe in you let's go we limit people by our unbelief that is unloving if you want to love the last forever you want to love that lasts forever you gotta extend grace because we all need it but you've also got express faith Express faith to be trusted is the greatest gift of love you want to show love this week trust people Romans 14:19 let us always be seeking the ways that lead to peace let us always be seeking the ways in which we can support each other I know what so many thing Rick they've let me down so many times the Bible says love never loses its faith okay they've let you down love never loses its faith coaches any coach will tell you the best way to restore confidence after a guy has dropped the ball or fumbled the ball is given the ball on the next play get right back out there show you trust the guy he just made a major fumble hand him the ball on the next play and let him show that it was just a fluke everybody stumbles everybody screws up everybody messes up hand ball again say I believe in you let's go for it how do you make somebody trust race if my husband's not trustworthy my wife's Tantra how do you make somebody trustworthy you trust them how do you let somebody how do you make something a leader you let them lead people blossom when you trust me so I believe you could do this I believe you could do this no I know what some of you think a trick you don't know my situation my spouse has violated every rule of trust in the book what do you do when you cannot trust your spouse here's what you do you trust God you trust God when you can't trust your spouse because they have violated every rule known to mankind you trust God and say god you're greater than my spouse then I'm going to trust you to work in her or his life and before you give up on the relationship give God a chance you've got a chance to change you and give God a chance to change your spouse Psalm 62 verse 8 trust God all the time tell him all your problems because God is your protection your spouse is not your protection God is your protection trust God all the time tell him your bra don't tell them to your boyfriend your girlfriend or whoever that is guy at work tell them to God because God is your protection and God specializes in miracles and God can transform anything and I've seen it thousands of times in this church in Elizabeth Barrett Browning the the famous poet said whoever loves believes the impossible why because love not only extends grace love expresses faith it never stops believing it always trusts it never loses faith I want you to write down I must choose to express faith in people every day you want to be a great lover I must choose to express faith in people every day every time you express faith in people somebody around you you are showing love to that child to that co-worker to that spouse to that friend I must choose to express faith in people every day and then you might want to write down a name that you can practice that with this week love real love lasting love everlasting love extends grace and expresses faith the third thing this verse says first Corinthians 13 7 it's all in one verse is that lasting love expects the best lasting love everlasting love expects of it it's hopeful its forward-looking its optimistic its it's not stuck in the past the Bible says love never stops hoping the Bible says love always expects the best the Bible says love always looks for the best here's the problem the longer you're in a relationship with imperfect people person you tend to expect the worst not the best because you know their downside better than anybody else and when you start expecting the worse of your husband you start expecting the worst of your wife you are setting yourself up for self-fulfilling prophecy you're setting them up Scottie after study after study after study has shown that we tend to act in ways that the people we most value think we're going to act in other words people tend to fulfill what we think they expect us to think of them and they fulfill that expectation it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy that's been told that a thousand stories my fair lady Pygmalion and every other one I've got a friend Bruce Wilkinson who you know wrote the book the prayer of Jabez and many years ago Bruce was hired as a first-year professor at Multnomah University up in in the Northwest and when he got there they said we're giving you two English classes and they're advanced their advanced placement classes all this is great I get the brightest kids I get the sharpest kids and he said you know what it was true these kids were sharp as a tack he said they asked great questions they had great answers they were they were smart they thought things through at the end of the semester everybody in both of those classes got A's or B's he said it was amazing how great these kids were he said on the last day of school I went in sat on the faculty lounge it goes well I sure I hope I get those classes again next year and one of the other professors said what classes though the two advanced placement classes he said Bruce there are no advanced place with classes in this school it had all been a setup because he thought they were Advanced Placement he treated them that way and when he treated him that way guess what they rose to the occasion people tend to rise to the level of expectation what do you expect them from your husband what are you expecting from your wife what are you expecting from your kids what are you expecting from yourself we tend to fulfill the expectations random you don't change bad behavior into good behavior by telling somebody they're bad you change bad behavior by helping them see a picture of what they could become somebody could say to me Rick you you're not good at this you're not good at this I go yeah you're right let me show you how bad I am at it but if the game to me say you know Rick I think you could really be good at this if you just do this you could be this you could be a man that your wife honors and loves that the community respects that your friends and and/or and relatives want to be around this is the kind of man you could be if you would really give your heart fully 100% to Jesus Christ that gets me excited not telling me you know people say I've heard preachers say well I just tell it like it is that's a lousy way to preach because telling it like it is only reinforces the negative you hear that on TV every day I don't tell it like it is folks I tell it like it could be that's preaching for faith that's preaching for expectation that's preaching for what God wants to do in your life so here's the key you want to be a great lover treat people the way you want them to become you want your wife to treat you like a king treat her like a queen the Bible says in first Corinthians thirteen seven if you love somebody I love this in the living if you love somebody you'll always be loyal to him no matter what the cost you'll always believe in him always expect the best of him and always stand your ground in defending him 1st Thessalonians 5:11 encourage each other and build each other up you know what Satan's favorite four words are you can't do it Satan loves to say that to people he whispers it in your ear thousands of times in your lifetime you can't do it so every time you encourage somebody you were defeating Satan in their life every time you just encourage them you can do it you can do it do you know what is the number one killer of love in marriage it's not financial debt it's not adultery it's not anger it's not hatred the number one thing that kills marriages is neglect it's neglect if I knew this was the last time I'd see you fall asleep I'd tuck you in more tightly and pray your soul to keep if I knew this was the last time I'd see you out the door I'd hug and I'd kiss you one more time and call you back for more if I knew this was the last time I'd get to share your day I know that I'd make certain it didn't slip away we assumed will always have tomorrow to correct an oversight that will always have another chance to make everything all right there will always be another day to say that I love you there will always be another chance to ask what can I do but just in case that I might be wrong today is all I get I want to say that I love you so that you will not forget tomorrow is not promised that will see another night today could be my last chance to love and hold you tight instead of waiting for tomorrow show your love somehow for if tomorrow never comes you'll wish you'd done it now that you didn't take the extra time for a smile a hug or a kiss instead you were too busy for that one that you now miss hold your loved ones close today whisper in their ear tell them that you love them and why you hold them dear and say I'm sorry please forgive me you're the best and it's okay so if tomorrow never comes you will not regret today as a pastor who's done thousands of funerals I've just seen that one in spades too little too late if you're going to give flowers give them while they're alive don't wait for the funeral I want you to write this down I must choose to expect the best from them every day I must choose to expect the best from them every day and then I want you to write down the name of somebody that you could choose to expect the best from this week because lasting love extends grace and lasting love expresses faith and lasting love expects the best and finally the fourth thing this verse tells us in God's Word is and this is not see this is not self-help advice I'm giving you this is from the Bible this is what God says makes love lasting love it doesn't just expect it doesn't just extend it doesn't just express it endures lasting love endures the worst and as where a lot of people fall out it is persistent it is determined it is diligent it is resolute it refuses to quit it is stubborn the Bible says it like this in verse 7 love never gives up the Bible says love endures through every circumstance the Bible says love always persevere --zz the Bible says love never looks back but keeps going to the end when Kay and I got married at 21 years of age we closed the scape hatch on our marriage and we threw away the key and we said we are in this for life we're going to make this work if it kills us it nearly did okay and I've been married 40 years 38 wonderful years the first two years were hell on earth and many you know this story that I was I was making what was it $400 no no I think I was making $800 a month uh teaching out of college and we were so miserable in our marriage we said we're gonna go get counseling I never understood people say I can't afford counseling how much is your happiness worth so we went out and we spent for 15 weeks a hundred dollars a week for counseling that's what it cost and I was making you know what $200 a week so half my income was going to counseling I've often thought I should do we put it on a MasterCard $1,500 I've thought I should do a MasterCard commercial I saved marriage priceless I'd pay a million bucks for what I got today my wife's my best friend my lover my partner my companion my ministry associate I can't imagine that would be you wouldn't even be here there would be no Saddleback Church if our marriage had fallen apart that's the best 1,500 bucks I ever spent you can't afford not to get counseling if you're going through a tough time I would encourage you love the Bible says never gives up it always endures through every circumstance that always for fear persevere it never looks back some of you are in a marriage right now that's not very happy and you are ready to give up and I came here as a man of God to tell you this don't don't you do it you have no idea what you'll miss it is always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it it is always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from I know people gotten divorced and got remarried in this church I give you a dozen examples of that one I know it's um anything Rick you just don't know I have endured so much pain well don't waste it those are well I put up all his paints I just then ran away from it at least get something from it I was in a roust grocery store this week and a woman came up to me and say no Pastor Rick ten years ago my marriage was on the rocks and we were headed for disaster and destiny was divorce court and I started coming to Saddleback Church and I would come to the Sunday night service at Lake Forest where on Sunday night she would have pastors of the church line up at the front and after the service was over anybody who wanted prayer could come down and receive prayer from one of the pastors the church she said I was there every week month after month after month those prayers saved my marriage it says ten years later we're happily in love things are going great I'm so glad we didn't quit it's always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it now I don't know why but I want to just close with two verses and I don't know who these verses are for but these are the last two verses I want to share with you Hosea 3:1 then the Lord said to Hosea go and get your wife again bring her back to you and love her even though she loved adultery I don't know who that's for but that's for somebody then now there's a view some of you have a spouse or you've got a friend or you've got a loved one or a partner or somebody who's walked away from God and they have walked away from God so I don't even believe in God anymore and God says I do not want you walking away from them they need you now more than ever let me show you a couple verses will blow your mind look at this verse on the screen job 6 verse 14 this is the Bible a despairing man should have the devotion of his friends even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty leave that verse on the screen for just a minute you know what this verse says when you are in such a place you go I don't even know if I believe in God right now I am in so much pain I don't even know if I believe in God you need a small group that's okay will believe God for you we'll just hang on to you lay down on the stretcher we'll carry on the stretcher a despairing man should have the devotion of his friends even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty when a friend a husband a wife or somebody walks out on God you do not walk out on them they deserve the devotion of the friends even though we forsake them let me let me long can last verse on your outline the same verse in another translation when desperate people give up on God Almighty their friends at least should stick with them that's a verse for somebody here today too and I want you to notice that these four things these loving choices extending grace expressing faith expecting the best in during the worst you know what these are this is how Jesus loves you this is how Jesus loves you Jesus extends grace to you he died for you Jesus expresses faith in you he said how's that well in the first place he gives you the freedom to make choices and that's risky because you could reject him he doesn't force you to love him he gives you the freedom enjoy he expressed expresses faith in you he expressed expects the best from you he knows your potential nobody knows that when God does and he never gives up for you never gives up on you and he's waiting for you to come home some of you been away from God for a long time you're coming home to this weekend today right now time to come back to God now let me give you a little secret if this is the way God loves you this is the way Jesus loves you if you want to learn to love people the way Jesus loves here's the secret get Jesus in you ask God to put the Spirit of Jesus Christ in you nobody can be Jesus like Jesus so you don't need to imitate him you just need to inhabit him and let him inhabit you and only with him in your life will you ever be able to treat people the way that God says everlasting loved us let's bow our heads father I know that there are many people hurting here today there are people who are lonely and they want desperately somebody to love them they want to love and be loved and we honor that and I ask you to bring somebody in their life that would cherish them and give them that love they they deserve and they need I know that you love them I know that this church loves them you know this is the family that loves but we ask you to bring people into the lives of those who want to love and be loved and Lord whether we ever marry or not we need to learn this lesson of love because you called us to love everybody even our enemies even the foreigner the immigrant the the people who are different from us in religion lifestyle Lord we are not allowed to not love anybody if we claim your name I pray that we would feel your grace so we can extend it to others I prayed that we would understand the freedom that you've given to us so that we may express that faith and freedom to others thank you Lord that you don't drag us down and nag us down but you build us up help us to do that with others thank you that you've never given up on us god I thank you the can I never gave up on our marriage but I'm more thankful that you never gave up on our marriage and for those who are just teetering and wavering right now some who are on the verge of an affair some of them are out in a full-blown one right now bring them back to you lovingly in a new sense make Saddleback Church be known as that's the place where they build marriages where they build relationships where they build families where they build friendships where they build small groups where people learn the relational skills they didn't learn in school or at home or anywhere else if you've never opened your life to Jesus Christ you can't do this so you need to say this Jesus Christ as much as I know how I asked you to put your love in my life to say that Jesus Christ as much as I know how I asked you to put your love in my life take away the distrust and fill me with trust take away the shame and guilt and fill me with grace take away the cynicism and the hurt and fill me with faith take away the despair and fill me with hope and even when I have to endure the worst Lord would you give me the strength to go through the valley of the shadow of death and to fear no evil their heads bowed if you prayed that prayer God heard you and I'm gonna ask you to let me know about your decision if you really meant it in just a minute take the bulletin and on the flap you can check the Vox I committed my life to Christ and check that and drop it in the basket and I'll send you some information father thank you for those who are making decisions for you today we commit them to you in your name amen hi I'm Jake Randa the online pastor here at Saddleback Church we're so glad you joined us to watch this message today at Saddleback we believe that life is better together that's why we want you to get connected to our church family whether in person or online we have campuses all over Southern California and on four continents all around the world that would love to welcome you to their weekend services you can find a campus near you at Saddleback comm clash locations and if you're not able to attend a campus in person don't worry we have an online community designed just for you you'll have an opportunity to connect with the messages each week and find resources to help you grow your faith thanks again for watching and we look forward to welcoming you into our church family

Channel: Saddleback Church

Views: 157,187

Rating: 4.8265681 out of 5

Keywords: Love, Marriage, Relationships, Love that lasts, Rick Warren, Saddleback Church, God, Faith, Grace, Trust

Id: bcR0lDpusas

Length: 55min 5sec (3305 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 16 2016