KPCS: Dana Carvey #20

[Music] he's crying he's hosting this tree [Music] nice catch buddy my second guest is here he's all locked in and ready to go yeah that's him this is just sort of this Charlie Rose thing I just wanted all right you I know you you want to mix it up I really know you yeah yeah right away what are you trying to ivy I seen the Lifestyle Lift I want to I'm thinking in one of those Jean those infomercials from pure like this and then they do this oh oh you haven't seen them no what is that what is that the Lifestyle Lift if anyone has anyone seen this please I just want to say how average age of the audience is 13 well no it just does this yes it does and Wow and is it like a paste what is I don't realize it's one of those things I won't do it on my in my accent tell everyone knows what it is oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I was just testing to see if I know what you're talking about yes I just want to see how happy I am that Adam curls not yelling at me right now um I've never felt more effeminate following a guest I mean basically you can build things and kick people's ass literally a boxer carpenter are you kidding it's really funny stop looking at them this is this is the other cafe I got I got six people no no there is no show there's no really you it's just them we're helpless neurotics no I'll get used to it no that's all right Kevin I'm wild buddy we got a beverage going it am I not getting a youngling as the pens are still up is this a current score I need to know this we were raised on no hockey right no no hockey no no I'm not gonna win I promise you she brought these all the way from Pittsburgh you can't get this beer when you were New York no doing the Saturday Night Live I never heard of the ending no it's Britain a small brewery in what's the name of the town Pottsville Pennsylvania Wow about that well a woman who drinks beer I've got something about it yeah does that work for you do you work with tools as well along with a tool valve who's really Kinnear she can bake really she can cook inventing hey man we're gonna have to talk a little later different kind of tool interesting um listen I've got questions you're so tiny when did this start questions mister yes let's just you know let's do it I have a few notes to myself do you good the host in me uh-huh I like that just ten years ago you told me you said I've got this thing I'm gonna do I'm just gonna put up a website I'm gonna do some sketches and shoot some shoot some stuff I did and you were so far ahead of the curve it was ridiculous yes I shot a bunch of stuff but it's out there somewhere don't go look kids it's outfit I love it is experimental television really it was really cool it's getting a guy named Paul Wright friend of mine he was a button-pusher knew all the stuff so yeah I went nuts bought everything green-screen yeah and did all these acid characters newsmen characters puppet shows and and how long did you do it for Oh on an offer like four years I still do it you know I have a celebrity chef show where the I should have brought an example of where these puppets these little cardboard cutouts they have chef hats on and they always burn themselves in the show and then they go ballistic and the first one I did was Clinton you know and we're gonna good god damn and then he just goes nuts but someone help me out with this thing I just burnt my finger anyway yeah see it I'll get it for you no I swore there were three suck and then one big dick I counted okay roll a thing all right yeah all right so now where where is the site still up can people go right now oh no they're all over the place I mean maybe there's some on you - I never organized that you know I just sort of did it and then I had them on YouTube and and they get lost out there - I never really pushed them and then I had someone on Dana Carvey calm I don't know if that's still going so their MySpace page was some of them on right but it's all disorganized but you've inspired me well I hope so because I you know he's followed through here's well know here's the thing I remember when you were talking about this and I was thinking he has stumbled onto to it to the next wave to the future and and I I mean I really believe that at the time as I obviously do now but yeah it's it's not easy to organize it is it it's not easy to sort of control all of the chaos it's easy to be creative and funny and and to create characters and execute that that we've been training for years and years but boy do you need a team to do everything else yeah am i right yeah yeah I don't want I can't deal with pushing the buttons and all yeah and if everything was open-ended so and was all free so there's this open source of the web creatively and and literally where I would never really write anything down I would just put the camera on and start riffing and I have a ten minute audio riff maybe longer a Bobby Kennedy Jack Kennedy Hitler and Elvis and above all still alive in the bunker and I just kept going and going and going and that exists I don't know if I ever posted it oh my but I have that going from that was the high school days when you're with your friends so the notion was they're all still alive in the bunker hey man hey you guys what are you doing was like the initial riff was like Elvis said will you tell ate off to stop staring at me come on Hitler you know Bobby don't like it when you're staring down like that come on Hitler I don't want to hear I'm gonna put on a dress and take the elevator shaft and get some peach cobbler who's coming with me and then Hiller only spoken you know that grumble German but they all understood I'm sorry and I Damona you know I disagree Adolf I think Winston Churchill was a formidable foe and you can go on and on and on and on so there's there's it's sort of acid time you can just do things you can't do yeah like right now if we were on commercial television there'd be six people waving at us and you'd be looking over and this would have been our first segment right instead of so it's interesting isn't it yeah I'm just kidding it's Betty how much time good now yeah I mean sitting there as a performer the hour probably did feel like two hours to you but he that is the strange thing about these conversations is you can't believe that you've actually spent that much time talking because it was just a conversation right there's no person over do you ever forget that you're still technically on television that's going out to public consumption over the way every time yeah every Tuesday that's what I do when I call Dennis on his radio show right we just start talking and I don't even yeah crime in Korea wait you want any stories I'm not gonna look over there oh I remember you telling me that then you had we had boiled Denis's act down to topic reference reference was that the order yeah and then I know he does have this rhythmic thing I mean I eventually just got it down to made-up names that what it was one of my Scott manic make feel like feel Putin in here you know just you can't he got me with sunny six Kelly remember that one Washington State that was one of his greatest feeling like sunny six killer yeah that was the Native American quarterback yeah there you go Wow well that was his gift right one of his gift but you know I was really relating to what Adam said about just how boring stand-up can be so I'm always trying to get it more and more abstract I remember yeah I'm not kidding a young lad I was probably twenty one twenty two at most coming to San Francisco and I had been working out in San Jose where there weren't any comedy clubs I had to go on when the rock-and-roll band took a break which is just like a great time to be talking okay it's a terrible yeah yeah because the guys finally get a chance to talk to the girls and the girls are hoping that they would buy them a drink right and they did the band's finally shut up yeah and actually communicate to it wait a second the why is this guy talking and it all we thinks is funny Cameron it's the work so I'd come from that to this Nirvana of a comedy club mm-hm and you were one of the first guys that I saw and and the freedom that was going on on stage was also something that was completely alien to me it was you had to have bits and they had to be in order and why is this guy pretty much saying whatever he wants up there is that something that had always it was that the only way who could get up there initially well I don't know if it happened to you but before you learn how to do it you were just very experimental but you know and I didn't really realize later on I saw people like Seinfeld and Leno and went oh wow the formulas is so organized and so thought out and they're just destroying and I I would do at the mustardseed 50 seats in San Francisco I would do Johnny Mathis I would lip-sync to a record and I was smoking cigarette Heinz is uh-huh and the smoke was come out I mean it was complete acid stuff I had a puppet and I had a secret tape recorder with a footswitch dr. reality and I would do this whole thing with pre-recorded answers listen before you saw him yes it is and now let's so let's go that I learn how to do it and I sucked ever since but no no let's only let's go back to this odd acid act as you called it and and and how it was actually created who had you seen on stage that made you said I want to put my own thing together I had to have been a Genesis probably all the same guys that we saw I think there were two sections to it one is when we grew up all the variety shows yeah there would nobody really talks about those guys but it was you know Red Skelton Danny Kaye Jackie Gleason then Smothers Brothers Flip Wilson Carol Burnett yeah yeah that that was when we were kind of growing up and then you know wah wah Wes Ross Martin yes who I mentioned as an influence on the Tom Schneider show holy and got a nice letter from his widow saying no one mentions Ross well I'll echo that a gazillion times over he was absolutely an influences yeah I never understood how Jim West could pull six sticks of dynamite out of a skin-tight vest but I was mesmerized when Ross Martin went into one of his old man Western characters or whatever the hell he did you absolutely right it was that and then there was Carlin and Pryor and Andy Kaufman and and you know they're all arrests Steve Martin they were doing kind of esoteric stuff I've never seen Billy Crystal on The Tonight Show doing some character just behind Holly or something he was by the piano doing some sort of attitude you know so that's that was kind of where I got it from I guess but now all of us in the stand-up world suffer horribly from hey look at me disease and yet you are a bit of an introvert when there when there aren't six people in a room looking at you yeah yeah so so and Steve Martin is too I mean there are several people who have come to unbelievable success wearing in their private life their rather not have any attention or you know it cuz I don't know there's something obviously in the way that you're brought up or whatever it is my point being is I'm wondering in that upbringing yeah where you allowed yourself to be playful and creative and think you have to sneak off to to an attic or a basement or some of your friend's house we felt comfortable um I don't know if you were like this but I think I could go long long hours with just be looking out the window like on a family car trip yeah and then something might hit me and then I would just be on there's all your brothers or and to amuse myself that'd be my family my sister used to pay me a dollar to make her laugh and stuff how old we are six seven eight that's you know that's fantast I learned the power of being able to change your voice and get laughs that way and then difficult to speak in your own voice I found when I was a youngster and I got laughs in doing voices it was like well I'm not gonna be me anymore yeah what is a lot of noise yeah what was your first I mean mine was uh the beetle or Liverpudlian accent when I was nine that was my first thing where my older brothers went hey that really sounds that sounds like a beetle and that was like wow I could change my I think when I was probably cartoons it was like you know yeah you know something stupid like yes Donald Duck sneezing pretty much yeah we we all did Popeye I olive slightly Bartman Colin he owned it though right they've create to a little extent did he didn't talk by on The Tonight Show and I thought wow god bless comets so his Red Wings have now tied it up ICC is a guy alright so anyway so you're doing characters for your family for the most part for your brothers and sister and is it still completely out of the out of the realm of possibilities that this might be a career choice or a life although I was her I wanted to do it but the time I was in fourth grade I wrote down that you what do you want to do what he want to be I said I wanted to be a comedian and make a hundred thousand a year so that was in 1965 yeah I was off by a couple of zeros yeah yeah you didn't know what mortgages would be that seemed like a lot yeah so definitely secret fantasy my whole life but it wasn't like you I wouldn't you know I I was terribly introverted terribly shy and then all the sudden extrovert and so I never took theater in high school you know signed up one day went in and I was terrified but that I had these moments I don't know if you had these little moments that really stuck with you and one was in high school spontaneous they asked me to come up and speak about the cross-country team in the gym with 300 people there kind of nervous and and because the coach was later something hey will you say something about the sophomore cross-country team so I went up to the podium and I got a lot a lot of laughs but did they ask you because I thought you'd be funny I don't think so I think just because I was one of the runners right and this guy goes the southern guy kind of respected a really good runner he goes hey I didn't know you had the gift of gab you know but it just came out up there right thought whoa you know and then then I made the mistake of saying that to Rob Becker we had a Folk Festival with same high school together the guy who of course wrote and created yeah defending the caveman failing the caveman yeah seventy-two minute middle act yeah seventy-two yeah but he was a duo in a folk festival in high school and broke a string a little song and improvised a little funny moment and offstage I made the mistake of saying it was pretty funny fella yeah well I had a reel-to-reel Craig real real tape recorder in the late 60s maybe I begged my parents for you had one of those yes absolutely and I would tape Jonathan winters off TV and stuff like that I've all the classic fake interviews and now we're talking to so-and-so too bad we didn't go to high school Joe Frazier in the ring yeah oh oh and it comes yeah absolutely I did all those I did all we yeah so the cross-country team was that the first time you actually got up in front of your peers yeah a roomful of well in junior high I gave a speech I ran for vice know secretary of seventh-grade class I also got laughs there you know right I did the gag where you said I just want to say a few words and I taped together all these huge paper and I rolled it down the you know and you look like that you say men do that no not that I know of well that's so so you made up the site back in the seventh grade that's been used across the universe I don't know um but I got laughs I had a few things the saying you just rolled yeah I roll it all four pages and then I try got you know I I made friends with the guys that just laughed you know people are just easy laugher right and they became my high school buddies and a lot of them I still know and so when they start smoking pot in junior college and I didn't they would get stoned and I would go off and do 20 30 minutes Star Trek bits whatever yeah and that also was a big learning curve right there about what makes people laugh hours and hours and hours with these these guys and and then I'm pregnant you shortly after that yeah I mean you had been doing clubs then for a while so you already had the magical pre-recorded foot pedal release yeah like in 78 you know I was kind of cooked but there weren't clubs there was you won the San Francisco International Comedy Competition in 1970 set out of seven right so yes I need to know maybe just a year before that cuz that was yeah see the insecure side of me is this interesting to you people oh my god yes okay I just no idea here's the web audience bored here's the deal but no I've always been frustrated when I wanted to get into show business and someone was on Merv Griffin or something that's how did you get in and they never really answered specifically because I was so dying to hear really how did you get in and they're like well then I played the Hollywood Bowl but what about what how did you get there that's what I make sure I'll say that now for all the kids that are trying to get to yes I do read Steve Martin's book Stan I did I loved it this is what I'm talking to us it felt made me feel way less lonely right you know the amount of self-loathing and when you're starting out and you don't realize that the environment is so crucial so you bomb most of the time because you're playing a pizza parlor or a honky-tonk Bar and very hard to keep yourself going just think well I suck and you would live and die by each one and I would quit for months at a time but here's the story so I moved out when I was twenty nineteen lived in a and San Bruno with my brother and a friend and we were just playing risk smoking pot I was a busboy at the Holiday Inn and taking a night class at San Francisco State pretty much going nowhere fantastic yeah I had a Volkswagen bug tie-dye t-shirt right yeah and I saw a thing in the paper it's that live stand up I'd never seen that in The Chronicle at the law salamandra on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley and so for some reason I said let's go over there I recruited a couple friends when and watch the show so we go and it's a hippy dive the whole the whole thing just 20 people it seems so romantic to me it's like Mark Miller came up these community so I knew later they'd come up and I started making notes going hey okay Liz I had you know John Wayne having sex you know things I do for my friends well up against the bedpost and spread them you know the hacky issue and I just started writing it down when I could kill then this one guy comes up my first time at a club and he's like really sort of electric and sort of like wow what is what is what is this I was like maybe there's a lot of this I did I didn't know and it was Robin you know and he was just just on fire you know I pick up you know was that a candle for all you know he would at one point he pick up his brave his brave for those who and I said this is a frisbee oh yes and I thought well this could be hard but then they said open Mike and I had a few of these so I went up and I instantly was bombing but I started doing well moving right along just a nervous interlude and it became a catchphrase and I got some laughs and so the guy said it's your first time you can come back and be my MC in two weeks you're the first time yeah I was hired Jesus so I brought all these white kids innocent suburban kids from the San Francisco Peninsula over to Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley for us as a rough town we're coming in in mass suburban kids and little j.crew sweaters and they had a chalkboard the hippy dive where it was gonna be one dollar cover and the guy instantly saw he and he didn't know I saw him he erased it and put three dollar cover right in front of me she says because I'd never had a crowd like that you know it so it was packed with all my friends and then I just that's how right I started and then I would go on and off picking up little gigs I played the Old Spaghetti Factory sure the holy city zoo a little bit and then the competition came up and you go through the rounds where you need you know four minutes and then you get to the second round so I needed 15 I only had 10 or 12 minutes to stand up and I needed to get to 15 I made the final body didn't have the bit so then I had that singles bar bit that I wrote what do you do you work you go to school or what just a helpless guy trying to relate you know and that's where that was born out of necessity yeah I have 15 yeah I needed one more bit and McCollum went over time and then Gil Krishna and I were separated by a hundredth of a point and I won and then Robin gave me a check for $500 we've been doing it like six eight months at the old Waldorf yeah and that was just and I was in hurricane and that was just like my god you know wild yeah yeah that's how I got there there you go wanna take a break I don't know I will just allow it knows my story here to be honest with you you know I kind of cheated when I didn't get into specifics as to yeah other than come on we'll have some fun I knew a lot of this of your story yeah I say and I don't but I don't think that any of your friends have ever heard any of it because when we go on talk shows it's not to share our story it never is no no even if I get you gotta kill them six minutes yeah every second counts yeah and don't think for a nanosecond that anyone gives a I don't treat going on Letterman or Leno as an interview at all not just it's a complete performance well we're trained I mean you emailed me today saying wow this is really cool there's no pre-interview because I get read on Don you but that was one of the things that when I did Charlie Rose before I stole his table and black backdrop I really was blown away that there was no pre-interview right and I thought you mean it just is gonna talk he's just gonna ask me questions that are on his mind and comes from a journal journalist background so ya know he does his research god forbid I should do some of my own here right but until the idea was how do I actually make people feel comfortable enough right so well the comedian in me now wants to just you know keep sharing as I see cameras know you know I'm gonna do stick I wanna do this I'm editing myself so you know but I assume anybody who's out there who's interested in this which you meet them all the time would find this very interesting only because if you see me doing a character on The Tonight Show or something you don't really seem who I really am what's morning though I'm sure they've asked you as ill e'en times was the church lady really a person in your life I mean you have to have been asked that yes countless times uh it was probably a combination I think the very first thing that I process was just the teacher we just the word we well let's let's make our sailboats we're going to fold them over here and we are going to go like this and my comments ending yeah and the teacher made the paper sailboat it was always brilliantly done in all forms and mine was always we were gonna do that yeah he was yeah hers was brilliant and then she'd go wow apparently ours is a little crooked isn't it so the condescension is just funny and so the key to that character is just we Wow we don't oh we're taking a little sip of every turnt we we like ourselves so that's sure why taking a sip of beer means I like myself but it's awfully funny when you suggested yeah it's great so when I would go on stage when I was 21 and I look 15 I would instinctually start to go wow we we're a little young for a comedy aren't we or we we say a naughty word but we looked like a little Lutheran boy you know so that's how that kind of started and then at the other cafe which was just beer and wine and old hippies we were able on the Friday night Late Show able to develop these things yeah and then making it branding at the church lady and making it you know cuz wit that we were Lutheran's and we had all that you know those people well apparently some of us come to church when it's convenient when okay there's the Jesus way and the kevin pollak way and they don't quite match up you know so it's also for me is it you know you two we like to work in rhythms we're ideally for me I don't really like jokes as much as and I think that's Monty Python who you know we all worship really yeah we're you know we're the Knights who say neat was just a mathematical musical sequence that isn't funny and there's those are the things that lasts for decades because there's no punch line there's nothing to ever get tired of you can see it again and again and again and again and again you know yeah it is the musical rhythms I know when winning so yeah comes to doing impersonations and characters certainly there's a cadence yeah that you start with and then in your case and your brilliance that everyone like myself who's not just a fan but tries to do it themselves it's reducing like a chef reduces it fun and down to that that perfect look right that you I remember being on the phone with you when you were doing sign night live and I've actually told this story to friends and and and I said how's it going this week and you said I got a do Ross Perot on Saturday and I don't really have a clue this was like on a Tuesday mm-hmm and I said well how are you gonna learn he said well they gave me some tapes of him on Larry King I'm just gonna watch him I guess and try to figure this thing out and we started talking on the phone we started kind of experimenting with what Ross Perot so it might sound like right and by the end of our conversation however long it was 40 minutes whatever we both did kind of a pretty solid Ross Perot you hadn't even seen a tape it but we'd both seen him out there yeah and I remember I don't know if you remember this but I said to well this sucks because Saturday you're gonna become famous for doing Ross Perot I know and if I don't the bully pulpit I love Sarah Night Live if I ever try to do Ross Perot they're gonna say well you're doing Toys R Us / yeah no it's true and it's but to be first mm-hm it was magnificent and it was like explosion well he was a pretty much a gift I mean a fully formed character I think Sarah Palin is a bookend to Ross Perot in terms of a walking talking cartoon yeah that walked on to because when I really finally saw the tape and I was like is this it really so this thing this guy might be president he's like this can't be you're not listening kind of finish one time can I finish one time you're not listening can't finish one more time and so those rhythms now if I do it if I just people yell it out if I'm in Vegas or something I don't do anything but that and then eventually I start my first opportunity without fail you're not listening can't finish won't I'm not listening can't finish one time see what I'm doing yeah so that's where it eventually got to if you look at the first one I did it was you know it was more careful maybe more accurate you know but that was just yeah that's just pure luck I mean to get on Sara alive and be able to be in the center of the studio 3 to 117 million people whatever we got back then is just you know it's so lucky beyond anything to have that well for them yeah but lucky is opportunity meets talent or gifted well we had that we had our 10,000 hours as you read outliers the Thomas Gladwell book which is basically talks about how to get good at anything which is a great book I recommend it to your kids if you have it outliers it's really it's called the story of success outliers and there's some definition or whatever that means but basically it's about having just a knack and then you need 10,000 hours of doing it which we had basically on that's just that you know the Beatles had it in Hamburg you know they weren't that good till they came back from Hamburg but they got their 10,000 hours and so we got it at all those clubs for 10 years this killer instinct and when I first got on SNL it was very hard for me not to look at the audience because there's a stand up I was supposed to put in a sketch I had to look at the guy so that was you know right that was difficult but I got used to it so unless you're doing to camera in one in the center of the studio which is awesome other than having Joe Montana throw you a pass as a San Francisco lifelong fan there's a story about that one too please well church-lady I didn't really know because I was naive which was great that really smart Harvard New York writers thought it was pretty hacky and I look at as a burlesque kind of bit sexual innuendo kind of you know I it didn't thrill them so I didn't know that they hated it but this one was really sexual innuendo well you passed a little pigskin senior naughty but and Lorne which I didn't blame at the time Lauren was a little bit like Dana I just don't you know um seems a little it's not really what we do you know so it ended up really late in the show and me being you know with my childhood and who I am you know well then I it has to destroy that so it got so much laughs even though it was so crass and simplistic and full of sexual innuendo but you know Walter Payton and Joe Montana couldn't've been more charming that the down man stopped me after the show and he said that was the you know that was the highest that needle had ever gone up in the studio and I don't know if that's still true but at the time I don't see a lot of reason for him to say that it's not interesting but unless so actually yeah yeah I'm not really proud of that sketch I mean the only skill I meant had the personal connection from San Francisco that was why I brought it up oh yeah yeah I mean to him throwing you a pass in that sketch the seminal moments of being on that show I remember you telling me that I'm you were yeah I had lowered the first time he met Paul McCartney oh yeah that was just as a knock at the door I'll get it open it up it'll be do be well I had not been on Sara Night Live and I didn't really know anything but I got hired to get on the show and that's a whole nother story but I go out Lorne Michaels mansion out in Long Island and I'm just completely blown away that I'm in New York I've never really been anywhere I got on Sara Night Live the show for the very first time did not have a full season pick up it was canceled then they brought it back oh wow you know Bernie Brillstein leaned on tartakov yeah to give them eight shows you know got to hit the ground running we've got to hit the ground running we'd be gone by Christmas so we went out there and we took long walks with Loren I had no idea that you participated in the saving of Saturday Night Live well I that's a lot of I thought of Bill Murray I don't know how I missed that part of history Jesus all right so you're out of this place in Long Island yeah and I'm completely terrified and anyway because I really thought of Bill Murray and Aykroyd and Chevy Chase a sort of bad boy and Belushi you know lots of drugs I'll fight you were the anarchists and III was sort of just little and kind of shy and you know androgynous looking in you know and I decide I don't really belong here and anyway so then Lauren goes well tonight Paul's coming over and I literally know it sounds like a bit but Paul your pelvic hardening Linda gonna drop by so I I call I went back to the Jack Nicholson room and I called friends in San Francisco and said Paul McCartney is coming here tonight and they were all blown away I was gonna meet him at around 10 o'clock I one of your heroes well yeah I mean the Beatles he our just let in maybe more so are you more McCartney no no I think Lennon is the the ultimate crazy and like Paul said I wouldn't want to have had his childhood you know Lennon's just transcended but the two of them together I met could go on about the Beatles but I do have a meet the Beatles signed and all seven nice this will complete the story about Paul okay and what a really nice guy is but so I answered the door and it's at the mansion it's Paul McCartney and Linda and it's just me and Lauren and Chevy was there who said he likes my audition tape which also made me nervous Paul literally said to me your face it's going a bit funny I'm so blown away I guess I kind of do what I literally just blushed or you know I couldn't believe it you know I was meeting him after he was the first guy did the impression of in 64 and we all worship the Beatle his first words to you your face is going a bit funny so then we hang out what a ridiculous way to say it's really me yeah and that's okay but I had the presence of mind now this is a very this is a good piece of advice if you if if you're a fan of somebody you you you got to go a little bit left of center you or something they're not expecting so at that moment after we kind of gathered around and they brought out was you know this is the whole thing about smoking pot is a whole nother part of the story but my friends and I had also gotten into the tug of war out in that song tug of war so instead of going to Paul who wrote she loves you you know that kind of thing his Ringo good drummer you know which he gets all the time you know I said in the in the song tug of war the the the the lyric during the course someday will stand up top in the mountain with our flag unfurled but won't be soon enough and his face dropped you know and he's like woo I always imagine that is a big old flag you know waving around you know so then after that I was his best friend they came over every night and he brought his album his new album press to play because I brought it over and Linda goes see go see I told you you'd want to hear it because I was like hey that's great but what happened was which tells you which informs you that before they came over they were actually discussing whether you'd want to hear and I never been on TV or anything I was just a guy but I said in the here's the really really interesting moment Paul had a demo that he'd done with Phil Spector not Phil Spector maybe Phil Ramone any one of the Phil's in New York never been on an album and he's a little shy but isn't know who does Paul hang out with who does paul play stuff for and Lauren you know I was really smart and they were friends and so he puts it on and we're listening to it like five of us in this living room wait Whitney Browne Lauren you know Linda and Linda's kind of draped over Paul you know and Paul's where you are literally this close I'm listening to it and it's really good it's got all the McCartney melodic stuff and he leans into me after we become fast friends he says quote sometimes when you're writing you try to live up to whatever you end up ruining the my god you know he's opening up to me and I thought this guy goes well dude eleanor rigby now let me do another one you know so so then they were very nice linda really cool they're very worried that paula wasn't there cuz i thought the show was gonna be over my wife it just got out of college she had a really cool job writing speeches for a politician in LA so I was there and Linda was very concerned like I think Paul they were so warm to me and even done a show yet hadn't done a show and I really wanted to make Paul laugh was the other thing you want to do sure which just as a real quick insert one night Neil Neil Young we had dinner with Neil Young me and Phil Hartman and some people and Phil and I said let's kill Neil Young let's just take him apart so we just went ballistic because if we were feeding each other we having beers and we got Neil look Chinese he's just so happy Phil's doing all these accents I'm doing Neil Young joins us you know we're doing and so I wanted to make Paul out so he came up the story of battle a man who was training a horse for a photo shoot or Lauren brought it up I think and the the the horse started to to in the background that was part of the joke you know and I came with him we were very stoned we were out on the lawn it's like 3:00 in the morning came in this idea that the horse wrangler this old man had to drop his pants and take a to show the horse how to do that and paul thought that was a funny reversal so he's doing it for the guys the horse can see what she's supposed to do to do the comedy so we hung out for like a week and that was the last night I'd really seen of them and then about after Saturday Night Live after the goofy movies I made 10 years later 12 years later this package arrives and it's a big framed it's his flowers in the dirt album and it's the LP and there's a nice note saying dude Dana we given this to a couple hundred of our grooviest friends you hope you enjoy it Paul McCartney there you go that's just got to make you I know openly weep yes ohrid yes yeah I've all these weird you know weird things that connect that we all do well when you get a chance we're one to make you rot know if I'm on an interesting point which is making a hero laugh for for us yeah it isn't enough to meet them it isn't enough to be in their presence and share that that Nano second day of their lives it is that just a little extra if I could just make them laugh yeah right and to them and you know because their music how does Neil Young does do do what he does he he saw it Phil and I did it seemed like out of thin air yeah we'd done our 10,000 hours right you know phil was doing Jack Benny and I was doing a French accent or just you know and that was really really fun yeah and he rose specifically I was opening up I think for Dave Mason in San Francisco Waldorf and I remember that dressing room in the back we had a pool table yes and sometimes you'd run into people sort of hanging out back there and so I had done maybe half dozen shows opening up for Dave Mason at that point and it felt pretty comfortable around him so I go back there and playing pool is John Belushi he had been on Saturn I live one year and Van Morrison it's all I got who's not sweet to defecate enhance and I'm just all the sudden just backing against the wall just hugging the wall just to be that fly I just want to be witness to it right and then there's a little thing that goes off it says yeah it's not enough to actually be here is it and you then it's just waiting you just wait where's my moment gonna come yeah I noticed that Dave Mason John Belushi went into a smaller room and closed the door and then Van Morrison was talking to somebody and so they're playing pool and now I'm you know Van Morrison a god but to me it's John Belushi in that room that I need to make laughs and they're in a room and the doors closed I know Mason well enough to have an excuse to go into that right and that excuse is simply walking in doing Peter Falk lieutenant Columbo because I know that he loves it the master so I walk in not really having too much of a plan but just thinking I don't know where those sort of gumption come from but just thinking it's gonna be okay and I open up the door and I remember Belushi sort of standing against the wall holding a joint and Mason may be rolling the next one and saying I know this is really good Columbo hey hey hey Columbo literally that was the connection and he looked up and I and I see this look on John Belushi's face like what the is he talking about and I don't waste a nanosec I'm sorry I hate the body and I say something am I in the wrong room and Belushi was leaning against the wall as I said and he allowed himself to slide down the wall onto his ass basic car knew his knees on his knees so I remember walking out literally the only thought was I just brought John Belushi to his knees it's fantastic and it nothing else mattered for the next week it was all you know it was ibly me initially the fact that I could go back and tell anyone I was just standing watching John Belushi and Van Morrison play pool was one of those life stories yes totally overtaken by the I made him laugh can't even compare right but you you you you it was smart that you didn't come in and try to set up some comedy or try to be funny just I'm Columbo yeah just out of the blue yeah I got much they hit him hard I never even talked to him as myself yeah yeah you know yeah I got my laugh out of him and I say you guys are busy and I close the door and really yeah what I came for speaking of which we got some folks watch and I say we give him a little a little involvement Armidale they've been waiting they've been patient alright let's go to we got a tweet five or just Maryland em at Maryland I'm for Dana well this is what was his fave stand-up comedy club in the 80s in San Francisco you know we mentioned the other cat Fame I remember my feeling first seeing the holy city zoo which was legendary by the time I got to San Francisco in 1978 yeah yeah and I walked in and the place holds nine people not much bigger than this studio and I thought really this is the place that's legendary why there are nine people here six of which are stand-up comedians is there watching the stand-up comedian on stage why is this place legendary I mean what was your experience going into that little tiny place well I think that you learned later I mean the phrase that I came up with is comedy compression which is very very important and you know when you play a club in those days of you know a disco ball room where you've got really high ceilings really cavernous and all the laughs go up right holy city zoo was really tight too tight too small too low a ceiling from yeah you as a stand-up to the bat was right that wall and there was just huge compression I mean Michael Pritchard who was 6 6 280 pounds it would really the room would levitate I mean he was so loud and it was so rocking yeah do those little clubs I mean you know and then you go play these corporate dates or Vegas and it's just you know I still think comedy should be has to be small 150-200 in fact I had an idea if I do a show on the hero I call it the tiny talk show mm-hmm where you just have kind of a little desk and you have a little bleachers and it's all just compressed in this room in this room but it's it's like a little talk show set but it's just and they go straight up and that's just called the tiny talk show and because that's what you want it's just a matter how many people in that space doesn't matter how big really that's an excellent point so it was the other cafe your favorite room though getting mine distinct so because beer and wine yeah that there was the raucous thing is gone now they're actually listening also you had a huge window right behind you yes that was a window to the outside of hate yeah Carl and Kol Harlan Cole and the hippo would walk by this giant window and the whole Lions could see and so you were forced to improvise with people so 1:9 you private story but there was a lesbian bar down the block and all these kids went in harass these lesbians and I'm just on doing my set and out in the street is a fistfight amongst like 200 lesbians are a hundred lesbians a hundred Street kids swing in and we're going like that right now yeah what now and you didn't have that no oh you never had the member mods yes yeah yeah there but I've never got to see the go yeah they came out and they brawled in the street yeah and say you were the commentate yeah and I was the commentator the most ever killed yeah sure slay yeah so I'd say the other calf died all right yep no no Thank You Marilyn em she clearly wanted to know chat room has been discussing they want to suggest people for you guys to impersonate some suggestions really I mean yeah that's not that's really not why that's not why you're here but you know I don't do whatever yeah well I'm a pleaser maybe we'll save that for later let's get a at Maxine Beach a quick tweet five rapid-fire this or that all sister that yeah okay breasts or leg ass area leg ass yeah me too I'm a big leg ass hairy guy that does that make women happy or sad I don't know let's let's ask the women in the room ladies how do you feel about the breasts versus leg ass area does anyone I want to weigh in we got our cams up and I'm not gonna ask my niece if you don't mind not real comfortable with that happening anyway yeah lady bits lady bits down below I'd say all women are beautiful nicely done dick and they don't really realize they are because in an evolutionary Darwinian the women you know with you know goiters and you know wolves for feet they they didn't get laid and so all women have are beautiful yeah yeah now all attractive what did the woman say Susan Boyle set up Wi-Fi ever going on those shows I'm gonna come out you know the goiter I look like a single flow it's the old crazy Guggenheim thing it is really crazy come out yes that's pretty good that's phenomenal win all right um yeah so Mountains are Beach that's not necessarily an easy one oh no that's easy a beat you just go on a beach and sweat I'm not I'm Irish Norwegian look at me Mountains Mountain Lake yeah Burton I don't like the noise of a wave you know I want I want quiet I want a smooth lake and you know the bird uh-huh you know I don't want a beach although you can see beautiful women and on a beach yeah but I like your folia abilities though that was I am turning into Michael Winstone before my own eyes who took fourth in the stat my second stand-up comedy competition Marsha Warfield Michael Davis oh my god that's right yep burger or hotdog burger Yeah right hot dogs okay well I'm just saying anymore you mean gay like right and this one I I never understand if anyone could possibly care but here it is boxers or briefs boxer briefs they invented the perfect my underwear and that's what everyone wears but no one talks about I'm down with that yeah bottle no a beer which I know you enjoy and I'd like you to take a sip if you don't mind all right and think this one over early 2009 aged in transit I believe okay what friend used to say it's pretty good it's fine drafter bottle heads on the beer it's supposedly draught although I know a guy who owns a restaurant says you don't want draft because they don't clean the hoses but generally if you're a real beer it's got to be fresh and should be a draft keg if you're into that kind of thing so what I've given them you slip up so if you what did you have a favorite beer notes you need to mention them by name and if somebody set up we have gotten both draft or bottle Oh Sierra Nevada so if I've got both draft or bottle you'd say give me draft if it was ice-cold yeah yeah but I wouldn't drink that too much those are like those will mess with you you don't you want to be one of these I don't know why celebrities in Hollywood who want to go out to bars who have six hundred million dollars don't just get a driver you know yes just get blasted and have the driver take you away but why you've got six hundred million dollars in the bank but me drive I'm five I figured yeah thank you drive no one will catch me exactly they're not have a driver there weren't cameras everywhere yes to more effects Martha underscore at Martha underscore s you're not on the Twitter yet right someone wants Josh Federer so wants me to sign up he put my name on there better know my password so I might I've gotten email notifications I'm following you but I haven't tweeted yet you know uh-huh so should I do it I mean take care of you before you leave the building it might not be for you me it's a narcissist dream let me just start there yeah because it's literally you can be stalked well here's a great thing you don't have to reply to anyone if you don't want to right everyone can follow you anyone can follow you okay but all they're doing is following your comments whatever you happen to post yeah you can only write 140-character yeah or less that part is kind of jokes or something or just a thought you know just got done doing Kevin Pollak's chat show what a complete and utter waste of time and then whoever replies to that you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah reply yeah okay I want to be Martha underscore s you once Flight of the Conchords that seems like it would be up here and yes pretty good right yeah brilliant we saw them live and it was pretty amazing r j-- barker who i'm sure you know yeah but they'll seen him up in the Throckmorton mineral pit as we're so happy right now right and 40-tooth rock mutton Throckmorton theater in Mill Valley the value is it still just Tuesday nights there but yeah yeah it's just everyone shows up everybody's there I love working that roommate Martha underscore s at marathons Korres is our Mel from Flight of the Conchords how they have that one fan she's our she's our mill she's got a tweet v for you and here they are brace yourself okay it could get controversial this is where we have the LA Times set up and notice now is the only time Saul we're always here first time ever first time first time any be back yeah yeah that's a lot of pressure it's a 10-10 parter white or wheat why don't we that's so meaningful we'd ideally multigrain and not supposed to have many carbs I love how you apologize for having too many carbs oh well I'm just aware of it you know yeah I went to Weight Watchers a marker Sean so did you we learned the whole hood they say you're doing well no just I was just I was you know support you know I'm just trying to lose two pounds you know I was a runner yeah I was a runner and so I'm always your runner your whole life I still run yeah which is what I want to get to right after let's go so monopoly or clue monopoly nice have hooks for hands or hugs for feet no hooks for hands for sure right what could be cooler you're a pirate I need to get things and you know yeah absolutely host for feet is a little too that's a little dark yeah when you're on disrobe for the lady unless you're Zamfir and then you might we imagine a guy is just you're awesome your ultimate guy vs hose for feet kind of a damian saying yeah would you rather be caught with an open flyer food in your teeth open fine which very much that's an invitation in a weird way you still have the boxer yeah and you've got the boxer briefs as a shield open fly with no underwear semi aroused in a public place not good either these are like bad choices no no but they're setting up comedies and the last one is read minds or predict the future that's actually a great you mean predict the future it's one of those really yes would you rather be able to read people's minds or predict predict future because I feel I can read people's minds basically yeah okay really kind of well you know we're always observing old you know human nation but literally here to hear person's thoughts I think is right but you know how the guys come out and go I predicted the earthquake and I've told my kids this because they're prone to believe in conspiracies and all the stuff I go remember the way to be a future predictor is to predict 10,000 things right and then you get one and you don't tape about the other you're just predict a shitload of stuff yeah really really death okay you taught that to your how they do it that you taught that to your two sons yes Wow how old are your decks and Tom now 15 and 17 don't ever go to Italy with teenagers because ever it was a horrible horrible nightmare hi because they don't they don't care we're in the Colosseum in Rome I'm in tears never been anywhere just my god to history and you know life and everything index literally said he's 17 girls is this pretty much all we're gonna do is hang out in this weird old stadium or you're some restaurant overlooking the Thai border you know is this pretty much it we're just gonna eat here and go back to hotel yeah so there was stuff threw me to that Wow poor guy did you travel north to south we were in Rome and then we were Tuscany and then we were like Como we were on Lake Como and I know is there also like bits but it's true we were every time we took a little boat tour it was always like good they always you want to see a judge a Clooney house and we go by and you know and finally the it's a true story my wife studying Italian for a year it was really really into it and I just added a violin copped an attitude and I got by and everyone started copying me so I said you know I finally you know she said she want to know when that when the ferry was arriving and I just said I just blurted it out to the guy arrivee the boat [Music] any so yeah they got it you know so it just worked the all-new is add valves and comping attitude and do an elaborate accent let's try it right now Lyra have someone ask me a question uh-huh if they were in Italy and you can try one on me if you want if you're in Italy and you wanted to know something just say it all interpret for you I'll go up the talent you just do it in English say you're in Italy okay whoever it be around I like the look of that luggage and I'm just I don't know how to ask him how much for the look a custard a luggage and me like me like me like me like Oh custard a luggage and it worked because every fourth word has a Latin root and so they would pick it up custody luggage me like is there a chance that they'll wear it work is there a chance data that they spoke English yes they both perfectly every single person yeah but that's how I got through Italy anyway um I need a we need to come I'll have to come back I have too many no no it's just like my life Ralph Edwards thing know it well but I'll go as long as you want I'm just like I realize there was so much to say we haven't even got to the Millenium you're at the halfway point well we've reached the halfway point I know that's where I am that's right ill all right I love Johnny I miss him so nice did I tell you that I have you on Twitter it's kind of a thing you put 144 characters that's a Johnny in the new post web right could you imagine oh my god yeah here's a bit that I did you might appreciate it real quick and it's not it's not a big I just said you know I love Lennon so much remember John Lennon song watching the wheels and it was that he had taken five years off and watched TV and read the New York Times and raised his kid right so John Lennon in 2009 holy be like Oh Yoko I can't wiggle on the song there's a cat flushing a toilet on YouTube being absolutely tricked the fact the idea of something like that being transfixed with the that's on now yes yes because it back then he just had a couple TV shows but if you really want to watch the wheels and when we're all doing it now right yeah you just go I'll just solved it - five minutes of web surfing and then you're on you know the history of Romanian cheese two hours later in yeah it's unbelievable which is not to be underrated by the way yes um I I've had you almost an hour and I've yet to ask so let's take a walk down this path okay I know you a runner your whole life and and some of your friends were gathered from their long-distance running team that they're staying with you John I can only assume is John your best friend Chuck my brother my father was icicle track teacher so we went to a lot of track meets track is not big right now but so I'm gonna use this as an entry point because I I know that a lot of your fans out there have a complete and utter misconception oh my god or not you have a baboon's heart yeah bad was heart which I do write which you won't one that's attached to the real heart it holds on yeah the baboon heart and will so look I was good this is a whole very interesting it's it's actually fascinating to me mostly because of the misconceptions and the utter lack of information that's out there for people who are actually curious right so you're along this is running your whole life how do you first find out that you have a genetic defect which is my understanding of the origin well in a sense yeah I think it was inevitable with my genetics both my parents who are still alive and healthy but they both blocked their lower anterior descending I'm I also play a doctor on television which is your main left artery and my brother Brad did too who had a massive he did a header at a Track Club when he was about 50 next to two off-duty paramedics who kept him alive and he runs 280 miles a week now so there was a huge genetic predisposition my cholesterol was like 400 450 all through when I was on saronite live didn't know really what it meant you know back in the 90s kind of like stay away from the cheese cake maybe zocor so when I was 42 I was running up in Marin County we just moved back up there and I would start feeling kind of this burning in my throat like what the you know and that went on for like three months right you know because I was so fit and all my her arteries were giant you know pipes I never had heart damage you never had a heart attack some guys the first sign of having a blocked artery is a header you know a thousand a day in America number one disease and so I finally went and because of the burning sensation yeah I finally I saw I went on I got had a treadmill test at Marin cardiology and they just said looks like he got you know looks like something's blocked because they can tell by this infrared you know thallium radioactive stuff that shooting you and you see this little picture and so so that was like whoa what the you know so I had should I just keep going yeah please so then they said well we can do an angioplasty or an angiogram you I don't know if you guys know what this is but they signs a splint and dear well this one goes up your femoral artery but you're so in never-never land you know so you're kind of in a dozy state and they go up and with little teeny tools they they take the plaque that's in the artery and give it dig it in there and squish it against the sides and then they put in a little metal spring to keep it open and that's a stent so that's what I had they insert that into and on a permanent basis yeah is the and then then over time the artery will sort of incorporate the stent and grow over it and just become an organic part of you right so where I had the problem was the lower I saw Fantastic Voyage yeah I know multi with it this is this squeamish in a way I've gotten so used to them you can there are two types of patients don't tell me anything but I'm still fascinated by it I find it really interesting so the Lauren tear descending was the really important artery and then it was right at a corner though so then right where it but rest up against this corner it restenosis in about six weeks so I thought I was cool and then I'm running again I started feeling kind of the same sensation restenosis is not the original disease that took like 40 years for that plaque to build up it's just your body's reaction to having a metal stent shoved in its artery so it's scar tissue right but it's essentially reblocked again so then they go back in again and roto-rooter it and then put another stent so now I have to around this corner and at this point what are you thinking personally in terms of on the second pass um just just really weird cuz I didn't really understand your whole what's going on why is it up again I just thought I'd be fine you know and you're trusting these people that they know what they're doing you're in good hands yeah yeah I'd say when you have health stuff or anything that challenges you like that and I would you just find out what where you can go to and since I've had other issues in my life you know my childhood was a little difficult I was able to kind of process it and not flip out although I had a lot of you know it was an anxiety and stuff but it was kind of like wow but the story gets more intense that yes it does they then put in another stent so now I've got three stents all the way around the corner okay and the third one though after the first two I went to cedars-sinai because my doctor in LA says go to Cedars and met this guy named PK Shaw who I did a benefit for last night at the Beverly region with Michael Buble and all these different people and ran into Kirk Douglas Sidney Poitier it was that's a whole nother set oh my god it's good to see you Dave oh I said yeah cuz you know I I said to him cuz I just made stuff up he walked up to me goes I always protected you on tough guys of their last movie together I did you know Birla and I said Burt Lancaster always tried to take my lines you know and so I did it for Kirk last night I don't think he needs to say those lines I think I'd like to say that one ha ha ha so all night long Kirk would find me and bring me over to people and go flirt stole his life and then I would do it friends life I do it you know I don't think he needs to say that line which I'm like wasn't exactly the truth right Kirk was the one I do one tanking I think we got it yeah but why we have to do anymore ain't we finished it we can move on but they were both very nice to me that's a entire other chapter so I went to beat PK shop yeah and he's this brilliant cardiologist that see the research guy and he's Indian and Hindu and brilliant and sweet and goes first thing I've got to know is you're gonna be okay you're going to be fine so I was like ah you know this is great so they put in a stent there at cedars-sinai third or the fifth third okay and Road routed everything you know so then I go back to Marin County I opened you up yet no I've just been going through the femoral artery had the third one fantastic I've had the third one it's well I had the third one on New Year's Eve 1997 so then I go back to Marin County where my wife and kids were and I go through this program sort of learning about diet and this and that and then sit I made it to 72 two days and then start to feel the same stuff so I'm like oh you know I'm restenosis immuno what do I do the well-meaning people there said well there's this surgeon doctor well I want to say his name because you say there's this surgeon who's very renowned no reason to go to LA I at least a private jet to take me back to Cedars but these well-intended people I don't really blame them really thought you've got one of the best thoracic surgeons on the west coast right here why why go down to LA so I stayed and had they said well we'll do we'll just do a double bypass you know so this is all out-of-body stuff remember in September I was found out I had a blocked artery and now here it is like four or five months later so if I'd know what they were gonna do I may not have the guts to do it they go the night before they go you want to watch the film see what we're gonna do no no I don't want to see anything yeah because when they they they there's I made jokes like you would do they're reeling me down I'm doing Woody Allen and I saw they had a little saw under a towel and what you know what's that you know why does it have a towel on it you know because they saw you in half like a magic act basically and your hearts been beating for 42 years and they literally with a glove on hopefully have to grab it and stop it and then they put you on a heart-lung machine people are mesmerized in the room this is the most intense interview that's everyone done and so they did that and I came to and you've got the little button you know Robin talked about on Letterman with the morphine yeah and I was just high as a kite because I gotten through it and the nurse was there and I fell in love with this nurse shock Elmas morphine I said wow you're so beautiful you're so beautiful how old are you you're perfect on 52 you're high and I ran into her later so then I just came all be the greatest post-op patient ever and I really worked on it and I did all the stuff and I then got released and within two three weeks I'm running I'm not running but I'm hiking and I was feeling some burning but I can't they said oh that's just a pericardial inflammation you know they go in there and they messed things up and and then finally after about a month that's six weeks they go well let's just do a thallium treadmill on you and the guy said you know looks like it's blocked up again he was stunned because he had told me before the bypass he goes there's a 99.9% chance it'll just be fine it's a really simple bypass I have a really big arteries and they just used the vampire arteries they didn't use anything from my leg or arm they just swung them over and I just thought I was an easy street so then when they said that to me I was like now I gotta I gotta go to LA so I went to Cedars and piqué was in was in Europe at the time and but they did another angio gram on me to see what was going on and they said while I was awake this was my fourth one of these so I took less drugs so I was pretty cognizant I would watch on a big TV screen yeah and he goes they they bypass the wrong artery they didn't get the led the big one there was a little one down here that they hit they didn't hurt you but they didn't solve the problem and your led is blood still blocked up because that was the one that it really got to open you up again I thought they might have to now this is where maybe you know spirituality can come in I don't you know my mother-in-law after this because then I had to wait and see they did a subsequent angioplasty again so three angioplasty open up thought they fixed it didn't another angioplasty in that same artery so for the time being I'm okay again but I'm thinking well it's gonna clog up again I mean I already had it four times so I'm gonna they're gonna have to go in again like a few months later my mother-in-law is Irish Catholic to the core you know went and prayed in Ireland at that some wishing well for me and piqué Shaw was at mother tree as gravesite and pray for me on the other side of the world and so it basically is held for 12 years now but I have one other little teeny part that I left out yes please just a little in the middle here when I went to Cedars in May of 98 yeah after I found out that it reached the nose after the bypass right that night after they fixed me up I was in my room and there was this hubbub in the hallway after reading a magazine middle of night they go Frank Sinatra just came in so they put him in the room next to me so Frank Sinatra died eight feet from me Oh God not work and were you ever it's all right do we have another hour these are just these are the boring stories were you ever a suspect somewhere guess what Frankie so anyway so then I the angioplasty held so so they got the wrong one Yeah right they got a little side number mm-hmm they said let us put the fourth well they didn't have to put another stamp they they the existing stamp was still not totally growing over so they went in and just opened it up and for some bizarre reason this one who were quelled the burning sensation never came back never came back and you went back to running full time but I was in charge at this point so I made jokes during the Bott before the bypass hey how do they find the right artery ha ha if I've been awake they would have found it cuz I assure you know right so when this one happened I was awake enough that the doctor said dr. islur great you know technician he said do you want to do you want to try to open it a little further because they had some really cool ultrasound equipment so I said yeah let's go for it you know because they they want to open as far as they can right but not to the point where the artery was gonna explode then it's like you know go see Jesus so I said yeah let's go for it and there's no real reason it didn't reach the notes that time there's no real explanation except sometimes it just doesn't so for everyone out there yeah who's not only not heard the actual breakdown yeah of the of the moments and the right one but I was wondering one quick thing is this I did not have a heart attack and I did have any damage so once my pipes were open like a Ferrari I just run I don't feel anything I run away you know run up Mount Tam I don't I'm not impaired at all there's no gradients kerb of like how you feeling it's unlist I feel fine I know what it's like for me when I tell people in this case you know Dana's on the show next Sunday or whatever did you see Dana on this and I mentioned your name invariably so I can't imagine what you're going through but invariably it's how's he doing I know they think it's easy okay I know and I'm like he's not the boy in the plastic bubble what about what the hell is your problem what do you mean how is he it's Ryan what well you know what we could do which I thought of doing back then because it's because it's a tabloid like story and it's so it never really and at the same time I was kind of raising my kids and backing away from show business and so people logically assumed the reason must be because of his health but I thought at the time we could put a treadmill here and I would just you to interview another guest and just put me in the background and check in occasionally and I'll run for an hour I'll run for an hour and we'll @pk here I'm good so you know it's but I don't blame people for but yeah I'm completely follow but you mentioned the other part of the story which is the I think another aspect that no one has a clue to which is you you didn't exactly pull a Greta Garbo but or Carson who spent the last four years of his life on a ship out of yes yeah but you did basically say and know in certain terms I don't need to live in Los Angeles I want to raise my boys up in Northern California I don't need to be attached to the teat and and that has worked out for you wildly and successfully in terms of having a family yeah it was all right yeah yeah I mean I think it's your personal nature how does it interface when the when the human entities arrive and for me when they arrived it blew my mind so much and I knew that with my personality being introverted extroverted or obsessive and then could that show business was all my lifeforce right Sarah Night Live just that hour was just my life force and the rest of the week I was sort of a shell right and I would save all my life force for that because I'm not a natural extrovert so it takes me so tremendous amount of energy to get on you know and so when they arrived at the same time I done you know these are a whole another chapter but some really stupid movies and then I I tried to return a television and did a show that ended up being kind of brilliant that launched or helped launch Stephen you know called Baron and super muggles mild louis c.k Charlie Kaufman who you know he said he had a thing being Merv Griffin I said change it to Malkovich it's gold Carell had 39 virgins I said one more but that was really cool but it was we were naive and we were just let's do any kind of show we wanted but that's a whole other story at the same time they were paying me as if I was a TV star money to go to corporate parties and I started doing them kind of casually but then eventually it became gee I can make the same amount of money and not be in show business is if I was in show business and so those kept growing and then also going lettle once or twice a year right yeah keep your I would go on Leno and I've do those dates and then I kind of went back in 2002 and did a kids movie that ended up a little little strange but you know kids liked it and you know and so then you know you know development is how fast 15 years when you're like maybe I'll do this maybe I'll do this this the nice thing about this you didn't have to ask permission you just had to ask yourself and yourself to your surprise and delight said yes you know you didn't have to go and pitch and maybe and see I'll bring my friends in and we'll talk like you know yeah so 15 years went by very fast and now my kids are you know gonna be 16 and 18 so I'd have more time and energy for that and they're really funny and so we'll see and interesting creative so I could not I knew I was going to be one of those dads and I met who got I was never there it was one more goofy movie you were absolutely on your way to be one of those days and if I was making save it Prime Saving Private Ryan or something maybe but I was doing some pretty stupid so it seemed crazy I can make just as much money and not yeah be a tomato and a goofy movie you know but also it's a tribute to the impact that you actually had while doing Sarah alive and getting to the cover of Rolling Stone aside from success I got twice hey so mind blowing your mind blowing yeah but that sort of stamp doesn't fade it doesn't diminish in terms of who the people are that are willing to pay money for you to come to these events and perform live that hasn't diminished at all in the last four twelve or fifteen years I was very naive about it I thought I could kind of walk away and eventually just become a normal person and I didn't realize that once you get in the machine at a certain point you know Smothers Brothers are still selling out Vegas if you get in the celebrity machine to a certain point you don't get spit out right no no you don't so there's you know fact if anything by being elusive in effect you do leave them literally wanting more I unintentionally became mysterious but you know I've always whenever I've recanted these tales I always think that I have a radical life radical good and bhujette eclis weird and a lot of radical things happen because I'm so contradictory you know huge all tackle the world competitive show business ego and like know me be in the corner it's okay I don't need it you know yeah completely introverted totally extroverted fine in a group when you see me but really fine being alone for hours and hours and hours and hours so the contradictory my contradictory nature is just always fighting and so I didn't plan on becoming mysterious or disappearing it just it just sort of happened no it absolutely happened organically and so there we go is still staring out the window Dana um let's go what's interesting at all buddy I feel like you guys should talk that's the pleasing side of me let's go to one more tweet five because I'm like I should like to keep our our our audience in it keep them going and that is from at Shawn Wildermuth or Wildermuth or something to that effect yes ready garth or church lady mmm Garth it's so hard when you create these things from thin air I imagine to to have their there in the summon you have real children but they are set on people that you've given birth to yeah and they're characters that were realized in such a way that they they live on and that was that rhythm was my based on my brother Brad so it's a little more personal and you know yes I I think that you know I sucked in the second movie pretty bad because I just know who is damn good in the second one you a little bit I'll ah I lost the character completely and and you know my kind that was just one of those corporate things and we were both young and naive and like suddenly it was you know there was a start date and we didn't really have a screw key and I think some class I think some people actually think there was some second one was better so you're really little hard yeah I don't know which to push I only hear it all the time because I was in the second when people go on sale it was it was it you're not saying because I mean they're just saying I actually prefer it was a classic thing that the first one was twelve million dollars and kind of thrown away and we didn't know and and then in the second one it was like oh my god and then it's like then the first one we had like two hours to shoot Mike and I on the car doing you know Baberaham Lincoln we had two hours of the thing and and then by the second one's like wow that's a classic we had two days to shoot that with four cameras right and just shot the out of it yeah three different sizes of close-ups you lose all the funny like I was saying all too much money money kills comedy and when acting on the third take I'm listening to myself act and I'm not I'm not in the scene at all exactly what I'm trying to achieve is impossible now well on clean slate the movie it I because there were 42 angles I would say my mind rending 125 to 140 times before they got to one-up the camera I was gonna do it on so what didn't even seem like English how pumpkin King oh my god I didn't you know I remember saying I won't no need to mention his name they can I be IMDB it and he would say got 45 setups today really that's what the movie we are so happy that you got 45 set up you kidding me yeah movies are stand-up well I think we've answered that so I well I would say they're parts of movies that are really nice if you because it's it's it's it's the dinner-table thing where that there's all this tension that no one's supposed to laugh and that's kinda you don't have to please the audience so that's that's very nice but stand-ups that we all started stand-ups whether we know it or not we're making someone laugh in the room so that's more pure I believed and still do that you were destined to be another Peter Sellers in that you could you could lose yourself in a character cinematically and have it live on forever and I remember when you did the movie with Silence of the Lambs oh oh yeah what was the name of that movie way to out their road to wellville.shoot the being interested oh it's ok nerd that was you being lost in a character that had nothing to do with you and I just think it's a shining example of you know Peter Sellers is tossed around a lot and you know if that's a pretty tall order I you know I think sasha cohen has shown some cell rsk's stuff with Borat where he's he's so not pushing you know for me the only time I ever was truly not needy and didn't push was was when I did Johnny Carson on Saturday Night Live because I felt it was so funny and Phil was such a great Ed McMahon right that I didn't care if I got laughs there was no sense of force I was just completely just totally the guy and I and that's such a great place to get to anything out there when you do a lot of stand-up you can get to it right you know cuz Pete young comedians say well what do you do if they don't laugh I said you want to do it so much that if they don't laugh that's the funniest thing in the world to you I have moments in Mac you're absolutely right where every time I do the lion there's nothing there every time the same thought we've seen my mind which is that's my favorite moment of the entire set yeah yeah that's a funniest thing in the world so you know that was a good question excellent which George now you spent the night in the Lincoln Bedroom with senior yeah so that's a whole nother you you I just saw him in October senior yeah and Barber spent an hour with them in Houston to our benefit together spend an hour in a hotel room oh my god talking very human really opening up about you know I said be honest with me I mean we goes because I can't believe I I came and believe I was president you know cuz it's so long ago and I go I can't I go I can't believe I know a president right and he's so close to George Jr you know you you know he just said for us this was so profound cuz we're just sitting there he goes well for us it's all about getting our boy back oh man I mean how profound is that ya know but I did spend we got invited to the Lincoln Bedroom yeah you and the missus we could spend a half hour on the fact that you got laid in the White House but um I know I'm not I mean I don't want to put that out there as a possibility I'm just saying you were married and still are to the same woman and there's a chance that maybe some sex at but in Lincoln Bedroom well I'm not gonna say whether say I don't like my son's middle name is a we heard the screams from down big that's our out I think that's our close yeah there's to me come back come back let me think we have a George Bush story yeah and then there's the I know I know we really have scratched the surface and so we're gonna do Tuesday's with Dana that'll be that'll be one of the shows on the network listen I'm just putting it out there it's here's it it's yours if you want it um all right well I know you're competitive by Nature this may I don't know if we passed the mark we did damn close to the longest interview really yeah we may have or we may have you do this like two and a half hours of television no one under the web's supposed to be compartmentalize and you know quick hint one minute I get people bitching and moaning non-stop why the are you talking so much to these do you know how yry literally can you break the downloads at half can you break the interviews in half so I can download them onto my ipod and my answer is sure you know what I mean so people are listening some people are just using it as an audio file and they're just listening as they work out literally and they're writing to me saying you know I don't mind looking at you guys talking to each other but it's pretty great just listening so this is being compartmental well this is that this is you know like when milton berle went on television this is an Annie was in three cities and look at the numbers and this is exactly this the same revolution or more that we're going through you are we are you're finding your way on television because you you can write well you know we could go to a separate rehearsal hall and practice what we should do and have meetings for months and a storyboard of maybe we'll do this and this will be our segment but we don't you're just discovering it now yeah you know just just finding your way now maybe it'll be a tight 45-minute thing with commercials worth more you know we did that show I did in 96 the day the Taco Bell Dana Carvey show right which was our way of having fun with that food brought to you yeah the empire's what Szechwan Dana Carvey show and all that Mountain Dew yeah yeah I think it's sponsors a good way to go right okay well I know please continue to help us explore it if you would come back oh I got the George Bush political story we raised seven hundred and thirty-eight dollars tonight so thank you for for that that's the interesting things you had to fight to get on television they would pay you now you can get on television but no money to get on but you can go on right I don't know remember access public access television yeah it doesn't work with this might yeah well cuz everyone has time shift control anywhere we could go on shall we continue in the green room yes let's do then um all right Thank You Dana very much don't move I'm gonna do a little sign-off okay then we'll go get something to eat and do you want to hear my Larry King thing oh no I don't um yes Larry King once Lee Lynn you know captain Sully you know the Sully bird the guy of Atlanta though Jesus yes of course he leaned in and said you hate birds that actually how yeah yeah yeah but when you see a bird you don't like it right and he had this gay preacher on you know the born-agains go on Larry had a homosexual experience but because Jesus my Lord I'm a completely or sexual member and you see a guy you get turned on and the guy kept fighting no I just that was one time I'm completely heterosexual but you scoop the guy right Larry I just I believed by Jesus alone in the fall of 1971 in an Arco station in Buttonwillow I had my entire fist up money hauls ass so is that is that kind of what you're going for huh go the Oh Oh have my entire fist up Monty halls money or Steve McQueen's rectum I wasn't sure what you when you wanted yeah okay I was in a corn hall stack at the Playboy Mansion in 1968 Merv Griffin was on the bottom then me fess pakka Ronnie shale Art Garfunkel Trina Trini Lopez and Sebastian Cabot Hef was watching while Otto Preminger blew in Butte Montana there you go I wanted to do a long do those Jim down a night he would the late night center nightlife think of a cornhole stack and just stacked celebrities you know Merv Ronnie Parker you're getting punched hi champ which one I've never cried on this show until now it's Barbara Walters you made me cry let's you hate birds right that's that non-sequitur Brooklyn thing isgetting brilliant yeah I love them so you'll come back is the answer I I will we there's all these other stories that could compete with the Paul McCartney and you know baboon heart I haven't even gotten into a lot of other stuff all right I got the cliff now it's every Sunday so you know we wipe it down here in July just called me on a pinch of somebody no no you're booked I'm booked okay all right my thanks to Adam Carolla in the first hour and Dana Carvey in the last hour 40 and Wow I want to thank each and every one of you or helping us to with your questions in your tweet fives we'll see you next week my guests will be well this is Nia Vardalos and Illeana Douglas up for the first time having two women on the show I'm very very excited about that that'll be June 7th until then you know everything that you're doing to help this show become more and more of what it is means a great deal to me and I did want to make a point tonight made a note earlier about mentioning that we're getting all sorts of emails and feedback in the comments if you want to write contact at Kevin Pollak's chat show calm and continue to help forge this effort of ours as I mentioned the top of the show we're going to attempt to take it to the next phase which is the build in other shows here as well and form our own little section of comrades and form of a network so I'll keep you posted on that until then get out of my face I have all my guests do something called [Music] he's dry he's holding this tree [Music] me scared

Channel: kevinpollakschatshow

Views: 117,354

Rating: 4.7855749 out of 5

Keywords: dana carvey, kevin pollak, comedy, funny

Id: LJjxiZzSW8Y

Length: 86min 56sec (5216 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 27 2013