Keeping It Real: Intimacy After Waiting

we just trust that in making this decision to honor God and to have these zombies and places to live out his word in our lives that if we come to marriage that if you honor us as well hi everyone welcome back to our channel we are so excited for this video today for those of you who have been following our channel from courtship to marriage you may remember that clip we just showed from our video about our boundaries in question so we want to take up this update video on what it's been like going from having boundaries in our courtship to now be married I'll be sharing how we made the decision to honor God and obey his word and wait to have sex and wait to explore any type of sexual intimacy until we were married so you're probably wondering did it work oh right it's sex work the way so we're going to talk about that today we thought that'd be really helpful if we start this video by talking about some of the highlights and challenges that we've had transitioning into sexual intimacy in marriage and so sort of the challenges first for me it's been a little bit different I think than for sure Etta because as I've mentioned in my testimony video on previous videos definitely made some errors in my past that led to you know sexual intimacy in Prior relationships and other decisions that I believe damaged my sexual purity as a man and coming into marriage I had to really break the the mold from expectations and previous relationships so that I could fully enjoy this special beautiful moment that God created for man and wife to enjoy in that Sharada and I were going to enjoy as newlyweds so for me that's probably been the thing that's been the most challenging but you know the encouraging part to that is that God is able to deliver you from those path errors and mistakes that you submitted to him and then you've asked him for deliverance from you know what I what I really encourage all people who struggle with that to do is to and take those those names and those relationships and the activity that you may participate in and take them before the Lord and pray over each and every one of them individually just ask God to really cleanse your heart from any impurities or anything that may still be hindering you from fully walking into this experience that you're going to have with your significant other in marriage you know one of the books that I read recently and I'm still going through it's called the invisible bond and while copes the information down below the video but it's a really insightful book and that the author she uses this this writing to explain you know what is the significance of soul ties to our Christian walk and how can we go about releasing ourselves from suicide breaking that invisible bond between us and other sexual partners that we might have had in the past that's why I would say for my challenges transitioning into sexual intimacy in our marriage but won't you save it from me like as a virgin coming into this just getting started it was a challenge funny funny challenge for us um you know I had to learn for us to just be comfortable with going at our own pace I think sometimes how would and even in amongst Christian there can be this asad that's created about one man and a woman come together for the first time section what's going to happen later you'll hear in marriage you'll hear like some Christian say like oh you waited for marriage you gonna be busy tonight all this type of stuff but for me it was important I had to face the reality that you just have to go our own here we are now husband and wife we don't have to worry about what anybody else is doing this is about us it doesn't have to look like you know that expectations people might be building up for us but you just want to encourage people that you have to go from zero to 100 yeah you don't we have the rest of our lives to enjoy this beautiful gift and for us it's important that we pray before we do anything we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us yeah and you know we got you got forever to figure this thing out so I said you want to cuddle or if you want to take a bath you like what I do just want to take it so much you guys do it yeah so especially you know come into it from not really avid experience regarding that period either courtship and I'm wanting to explore and initiate Heather physically in marriage yeah thank you so yeah a drawing piece so yeah that that was my challenge you could call it a challenge I think it just makes our experience unique yeah I'd also add because I remember somebody access about this before like the experience of you know one person waited while the other person may have had sexual experiences in the past so you might be wondering how did I feel or how did it affect me knowing friend and past and I think that's really where understanding forgiveness comes in so for me if brendan has already repented from what he's done he realizes why it was wrong he's prayed he Zach's forgiveness and Who am I to hold that against him we were going to get into this a little later but we had honest conversations and I felt a hundred percent okay comfortable whatever the word like sure the board in our relationship and his love for me that I wasn't really worrying about his past but I did make it a point to pray that you know the moment you don't discourage yourself thinking oh you know he's probably going to be thinking about this type of memory or that's it like you don't want that to discourage you so do make a point to pray that you know you can really get over whatever your partner may have shared with you right right and then to look at him other perspective of maybe you know the person who didn't wait for marriage but has repented and has asked for forgiveness and cleansing from those from those transgressions and from their perspective you know the biggest thing for me was that I I approached it I approached our marriage as a completely new experience it's going to be a step-by-step process because you we also have to understand that sex does create bonds and if we don't break those bonds from our past they can hinder our relationships our personal life moving forward so if you've come before the Lord just ask for repentance and cleansing and a breaking of those soul times from your past and you want to enter into your merit of a new heart and a new mind God is able to do that in your life and all these people just kept on pouring this wisdom pointing this this encouragement into my life and it helped to encounter my first night ensuing nights with sure Etta to to know the hair every night to know that and to feel that going into that you know holy act of marriage that my mind was renewed that God had done a work in my life and that had delivered me from the previous errors that I've made in past relationship so hopefully that encourages somebody out there who may be struggling entering into marriage knowing that they didn't wait for marriage but that their partner did hopefully that kind of helps you grapple with that now we're going to talk a little bit about the highlights the positive is the amazing part about waiting for marriage so Brandon blow blues you know one highlight for you nah I think there's a lot that I could talk about uh with them with highlights highlights um but no it's it's just a lot of fun it's a lot of fun too now you know be able to physically display your your affection and appreciation for this partner in your life it helps you know that we are able to now just intimately enjoy each other without having any concern about your emotional damage later down the line and you know let's say the relationship doesn't work out or anything I felt like we we don't have to worry about that now because we have solidified our commitment in a marital covenant and you know we made a promise if I'll before God that we are sticking sticking in this and then no matter what comes our way that we are together for our lives God's by God's grace so that that that's the fun part for being able to you know now be here in this in this moment and enjoy each other and intimately have that connection with each other someone my what I love so much and someone who I care about so much and being able to show that to her through this physical act that God has created for me um just I would call it being naked and unashamed so there's no greater feeling than knowing you've waited for your husband and this is the safest and most secure way to enjoy sexual intimacy or separately stay sex um this is not a guy who I just met randomly tonight this is not a guy who says he loves me but hasn't really made that firm commitment before God for family before friends and wants to you know test off my body this is someone that has I'll say paid the price he has put in the time to get to know me to get to really respect and value me my body my purity he's putting the time to care for my heart and he made a vow he said look for the rest of our lives I'm going to love you and take care of you and then when that is sealed sign delivered by God then going to sexual intimacy then naked and unashamed Factor is so beautiful it's so wonderful like there's no worries like I know you're my first here my last my only and it's a word and there nothing there's nothing really to worry about so long as we continue to keep God first and keep him of every single thing that we do so yeah I would say it's relieving just to be able to do this in America do things in America company you know despite on mistakes in our past with other people or whatever the case may be we have experienced God's faithfulness in honoring us because we chose to obey His Word to trust his word to believe him what he said he does and that he knows best as a frog as our Father so it's worth it that's how my services it's worth like two other ways Wesley we also wanted to offer a an appeal for purity to say that you know purity as I mentioned this one other time in a previous video but purity is more is more question of presence rather than absence and I say that we have to guard the sanctity of the marital covenant that we desire you know by inviting and having Jesus at the center you know as a central pillar of our relationship because where Jesus is there can be no darkness at all so if we have him living in our hearts and also at the center of our relationship then he will guide us in our decision-making and our boundaries and you know preserving that element of purity in our relationship throughout your singleness your courtship and your marriage we want to encourage others to take that stand for purity and to really value your bodies as temples the same way that God values you you know we pray that our testimony is encouraging someone a 1 and it's truly truly truly important to wait on God to surrender your understanding of sex into the secret god to sign under your fleshly desires because we're not saying it's easy but you have to be committed to obeying guy like no no relationship is or anything is worth you know this will be shot in your you're losing you know your salvation so you know take I'm surrendering your fleshy desires and as a result still believing in ending believing that you will end up in a healthy highly attractive holy holy bearable cousin you know some people worried like and they're not in control of that aspect of their relationship that they don't for example test drive the car before you know purchasing it that you know in vain may not like it and they may not end up the way you want but you trust God that when you pray to get to your destination safely you'll get there you trust God and when you pray friend to provide you'll do it so why can't you pray and believe that you know God won't go your ride and in this aspect you know God always knows us and we just really want to encourage you and really want to have and these young people young Christians on Oh people everybody truly get taking the stand for parity and singleness relationships and marriage yeah and with that I that is single for for Jesus Christ you know purity and your singleness and your courtship and in your marriage it no longer is this kind of elusive concept that you know Christians just throw around it actually becomes practical and we think that the Bible makes a very great case for purity and we've gone we've already talked about many of those scriptures before and we'll list them make sure you list them down below or somewhere on the screen maybe for your own personal study time but definitely please just pray for the Lord to guide you in your study of purity and understanding what it means to be pure and sanctified and holy and your walk with Him it's a beautiful thing and we've seen it time and time what what God is able to do through a relationship and through a life somebody that really honors him yeah so you guys know it as always we are going to leave you of course with some practical tips that can help if you're considering this trend but with this transition be like as a single or someone in a courting relationship so no one you know if you haven't already established those boundaries what won't take place before marriage then definitely I would say immediately have a conversation about that but also as I kind of mentioned before coming together and cleared the air can be very very helpful for the transition I feel like you know it was pretty smooth for us because we had open honest conversations about everything there was no secret that we brought into our marriage we knew like nobody can come up to me and say hey you know XYZ with Brandon nobody can go to Brandon and say you know XYZ but rather because we talk talk about everything also our premarital counseling session pushed us to have that conversation not just about our past but also about expectations obvious believe it or not sometimes we're influenced by the things we've seen and things we've heard and that shapes our expectations of what sex and sexual intimacy will be like in marriage and if you don't get those out in the air then transitioning can be pretty awkward because I don't have one thinking the other person had another thinking and they're not matching so open honest communication is so important for this transition trust me right and beside when you're courting what do you do this I talk true and I was going to add something else in addition to what you said about the boundaries that you don't have to wait until you get a relationship to establish those boundaries you may also be in you're comfortable in your singleness right now you're not in a relationship you're not considering anyone and you want to make sure that you know whenever that relationship does come the Lord I commit myself to you know these boundaries to respect my body as a whole when that whenever that relationship comes whenever you lead me to that manner to that woman whatever it may be but I'm going to honor myself in this way and commit yourself to that so the boundaries can come singleness a relationship another tip I would add is you know as we mentioned before breaking all those soul ties so I know you told me before but the book kind of talks about how to actually do that how to break these spiritual bonds that you may have people in the past yeah so making a list and just praying over it one by one individually asking God to please just you know break me from this break from this bond from this time whatever is still existing in me that may may hinder a pagina potential relationship or my relationship right now Lord I want you to break it and like I said we're going to pose I have the book just sitting here but we're going to post the information for this author a really great powerful book definitely suggest if you're interested or just want to know more about this topic please definitely check this out and lastly if you are married and you're watching our video what can you do to enjoy this wonderful view from God um we're sick of it too much people we're still learning oh boy I guess one thing we've learned so far is not besides the point we brought up earlier about remembering that purity continues in in there and so if it's your life it's a lifestyle is to communicate in the bedroom you know um shout out to Jamal Miller Natasha Melanie or participated in their sex without sheets conference and that really opened our eyes how important it is to still communicate about what's happening in the bedroom and you know sex in your marriage really talking about it and having those open honest conversation so that's I guess something we've been using that we would encourage if you're married so this was fun we host that this has inspired and blessed you if you have any comments questions whatever the case in viewing them below or as private later email hey I already think about email I said worth the wait eighteen at gmail.com those are best to answer you as soon as we can yes we're going to go back to enjoy our day and we hope that you all are blessed and highly favored thank you so much for watching our video okay alright we love you guys see you next video would be forever young

Channel: Worth The Wait

Views: 80,797

Rating: 4.9549589 out of 5

Keywords: Christian, Newlyweds, Marriage, Christian Marriage, Bible, God, Christianity, Intimacy

Id: YKEfs4N93x8

Length: 20min 15sec (1215 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 03 2015