Kate Garraway Opens Up About the Support She’s Received Since Derek’s Passing

now we've had heavy hearts for some time now here on Good Morning Britain following the passing of our dear friend Kate G's husband Derek after of course his extensive battle with complications from covid it's been almost two months since Kate last joined us here in the studio but Thursday this week she's going to be returning to the desk and into your homes um and for that reason she wants to talk to us and to you now very good morning to you Kate morning yes good morning welcome to my home uh we've got RAV here and Mark and Simon of course you know very well and I do the first thing they said is should we shoot this that way CU it's tidier and I said I think it's a bit late for that now just let's just own the mess and go with it so here you are Lego and Chaos all I was going to say I was going to say look what is happening in the background is sort of symbolic of what's been happening because we have flowers and we have Lego don't we and presumably cards and also I know you have there already the book of condolence all of the messages from viewers have you had a chance yet to have a look through well do you know what you you they arrived with this this morning I believe Susanna you were part of this and it's amazing so this is from you with with a beautifully done thank you um messages I mean uh for Derek and and it's a strange thing I've also got by the way here three baskets of messages from cards from viewers from crew there and I'm sure you've picked out many of them in here and it's just amazing it feels like my emotions are at 110% the The Unbelievable love um that we all have don't we as a GMB family family and it's it's just wonderful and ITV generally I think we are just very very lucky that you're going to make me cry already so let's try and get a couple of minutes in but um the love that we have as a as a family or together which is people watching at home it's you at home um that we're so connected and we've always been connected in all our Joys and all our fun and and the challenge of life um of which poor Derek has faed head on and our family has done as well but having those messages I it makes me weep because I feel so grateful and I'm also aware that there are people this morning that don't have that sense of love and and you know just want to share with you because I know there'll be people going to funerals today who'll be hearing terrible diagnosis today who will be facing the worst today and um I'm thinking of them really because I know how they feel and uh and I'm lucky that I've got all of you you know Kate I want to ask you a very sorry I interrupted you as usual no I interrupt I interrupted you on a live link Kate I want to ask you a very fundamental question on behalf of the viewers it's a question that has been put to me to put to you almost everywhere I go people want to talk about you and and the question that always finishes off the conversation is I don't know how she does it I don't know how she did it um we've witnessed how you did it at firsthand over the last four years but it still remains a huge question yeah how did you manage to keep it all together all the way through I mean under the most phenomenal stresses and strains you turned up here you did your job and then you went back and went back to being a carer and a mother and a wife it's extraordinary how did you do it uh well I'm not sure I did it very well I think I relied on everybody else like we all do I think I've got a massive debt to so many people and not least Derek actually because his spirit and fight to keep going never once did he say I don't want to try I don't want to do this I don't want to do that nor have the children the children have been extraordinary throughout and I think we have written uals like funerals because there is this extraordinary vacuum so you know it it feels like five years and also two minutes since I was in the studio excited because Derek had never been in a more positive place than he was when just before um the cardiac arrest that led to all the events that that took him from us and we he'd had an MRI scan things were progressing it was the furthest from the Spectre of death that we'd ever been which is some kind of lesson to us all I guess about holding life close and um I remember thinking gosh we must do this we got a million minutes coming up and all those things that I was thinking about and then it was one of those stop the clock moments where you want the world to stop and I think the vacuum you feel at that point having been entirely focused for 4 years on what do I need to do next what could I do for Derek what's happening with the children you know and all of that it it swamps you it swamps you and I think the thinking right we now have what we were told was 24 hours and turned out to be more than a month of him fighting on and fighting on even though the prog you know the prognosis what this is one he won't make through and that's a challenge isn't it because for the children when they heard the doctor say he won't survive this they've heard that so many times um and he did so it was a challenge to not make and we knew Derek could still hear even though he couldn't open his eyes or speak it was a challenge to make sure he knew that he wasn't letting us down because he couldn't get through this last one you know and um they were so beautiful the children about that individually they had time with him on their own as well as all of us together and and and Dary said Dad if you can't do this we'll be okay you know you you you release yourself if you need to go don't worry about us and I thought that was extraordinarily Brave and I had similar conversations and a chance to hold his hand and smell his skin and and and say you know we're here all the way through and some people don't get that you know some people don't have that and one of the things um I tried to say very badly at his funeral is that a lot of people and it's a comfort isn't it to think he's free from Pain and my goodness he deserves to be but for Derek what the medical profession the carers the therapists there was a porter at the funeral who was so moved and said I want to be here for daers everywhere uh receptionists what they gave our family and give to families everywhere for those extra nearly four years is extraordinary and Derek wouldn't have traded one day of that nor would we so gosh that's a muddled whole lot of words isn't it but um I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you to them and thank you to everybody and you know it's sort of a New Life Starts Now um I don't quite know how it's going to be but grief isn't containable is it in a day or a month or a year so I think some people say why are you going back to work well you know everybody does have to don't they every life has to start any minute now in fact he's late actually um Bill's going to have to go to school and um uh I've somebody better tell him to hurry up cuz I'll be in trouble with the teachers but um but you know we we have to pick ourselves up and go on don't we and that's what Derek did and would want me to do and you know thank you to everybody that's made it possible um and there's lots to say about the system um which I will say but for now it's it's really just an outpouring of love for everybody that's supported me that I want to give um should I stop talking and let you ask a question so I want to ask well firstly I want to you know the funeral was beautiful uh there were so many very magnificent poignant moments uh you did in proud on Friday the children were there obviously um remarkable strength simply strength in the wake of what has happened for Darcy to do what she did of course she was one of the pool bearers um how are the children how are Darcy and Billy doing that was her yeah I mean that was her um I was talking with my mom and dad um I was really conscious that the funeral should be about Derek and not about ill health and you know he had a big chunk of his life where he was involved in in the labor party and politics but many many other chunks of his life that were family that were his time as a psychologist I mean there was somebody there that I met for the first time that whose life Derek had saved through therapy and he came up and said I've never been allowed to tell you this before because of the rules surrounding therapy but but Derek uh stopped me from killing myself and I'm here today because of him so I wanted that um I wanted the funeral to represent everything about him and not be about me and Darcy came into the room when we were talking about it and uh and said please will you let me carry the coffin and I thought KY that's a practical challenge um anybody who's ever done it it's a it's a heavy thing and she said I want to do it and basically insisted of on doing it and uh Al I thought that was a beautiful thing incred I thought the words that you read on her behalf because she wrote A Beautiful Eulogy which was also very funny at times some of her memories of of of the of the games that she that she played with Derek and that you all played together was made everybody laugh but it also finished with what you you just alluded to there her final conversation as it were with her father where and I thought this was so mature as you read this out that that she that she basically whispered to him that he could stop worrying about them now he could stop worrying about taking care of you all um I thought that was don't worry about us don't worry about Mom yeah uh I will be fine cuz you live on through us and um you know it's not what she should have today Derek was only 56 there there were three things that stand out for me that their their grieving will continue and is really we're in the Foothills aren't we you know as anybody who's been through it knows and people on the team and Peters and all of you everyone's been through it in in some form we're in the Foothills we we know there's a long way to go but two things struck me when when I was with Derek and when they said you know this has happened and we don't think he's going to last the day and I thought right I have to tell the children and get them close to to him and me and I sort of said it very factually and said at the end have you any questions and the first thing Dary said is how are you m and that took well I said gosh that's a very very lovely question Dary um thank you for asking it cuz you know what an extraordinary thing and then when he did pass I was actually on my own with him and came out of the room and and told the children he had um and I said to them that Dad has actually gone and uh Billy said I'm so sorry Mom and I just thought my goodness they've really taken on board a caring role you know and I'm so proud of them for that so proud of them I'm so proud of them for that um and yes and and they did feel that they did feel that that that they didn't want to pressure him to keep going for us I don't think he felt that I think he he kept going because he wanted to be here but it's lovely that they saw his perspective in that way I think it's extraordinary and um you know that that's what we all have to come together and think about and I think that's what these letters are about you know there's so many people sharing their thoughts and feelings to me about people they've lost and it's very individual and it's very unifying it's um a pain that everybody experiences and copes with in a different way but we all know that it's part of of life and love um that if you're lucky enough to have life and love then you also have losing don't you that's that's the um that's the bottom line and Kate you know I'm just sun comes up what I was going to say was was I no no not at all but what I wanted to say was that your children have been obviously they've been through this with you very often we step into to try and protect children don't we from sort of the the sad realities of life I think that the way that you're that Dary and Billy have dealt with this is probably going to lead to a really mature conversation I mean they're so mature and they've done so brilliantly and and our love is with them of course as well as with all of Derek's family it it's absolutely remarkable and I think it will lead to a conversation about you know perhaps the way that we the way you've talked to them they've talked about it it's a really important conversation to have with children about one of the realities of life I also wanted to ask you about of life Derek's carers because one of his carers his key carer was also there carrying the coffin wasn't he and what I think is you've inspired amongst viewers is knowing about what the reality of caring for someone at home when they are out of Hospital how different that is from when someone is in hospital I you know Richard says we've all seen what you've been through but as I said to you it wasn't until you did an interview with the Sunday Times magazine that actually I realized how difficult this has been for you and I talk to you all the time and I think and there were many many carers out there watching now who will think nobody knows the reality of this you know luckily through you we do but every thousands of people are going through this every day aren't they absolutely Jake again said I want to carry Derek and I said Jake you've carried this family and Derek for long enough take that burden off your shoulders and he said no I I want to see this through to represent carers everywhere um professional carers who we call them professional because they're so skilled but they're doing it absolutely out of a incredible Spirit of honor and love and goodness um and I guess I represent the sort of um nonprofessional scrambling carers of which as we know you know every day at least 12 people take on caring for loved one for the first time every single day in this country and many of those nearly half give up work to do it because it's not possible um to be supported in doing it otherwise and there is so much that needs to change there and I I I want to take a moment if I may to kind of gather my thoughts before talking too much about that because I I think it's something that will be my cause forever because we have so much Brilliance in our medical profession but and and so much skill but we we need to have a different system of supporting that um caring and also anything that really happens once you're not in the life and death moment it it it it needs to change and it and it it hopefully will change um but I think for people watching they will know two things really that that are in a caring position how unbelievably hard it is but what an honor it is too and how much um you know I wish I was caring today because uh it's a you know it's it's an incredible thing to be that line of defense against the world and what happens to us all in life to to be able to be that person there for somebody it's the ultimate honor and privilege isn't it really and I know I didn't get it all right and I have lots of regrets of things I should have done more of and wish I'd you know spent less time fretting about um but it is a huge honor and what you do will will be something that builds your life forever it's it's a gift but also you you get so much from it as well well Kate I I can't sorry that's very depressing everybody on Monday morning you know what I mean I cannot tell you what a privilege it's been for us to talk to you this morning and I know for the viewers to see you and you're you're back in studio you're back at work this week aren't you yes which day I am I'm going to be looking forward to a blow dry I'm going to be finding fake eyelashes I'm going to be very much looking forward to applying fake tan don't worry I will be a little bit more respectable by Thursday uh I'll be doing a lot of homework between now and then because I feel like I've been in a very small bubble so I'm going to look forward really to coming into the world and sharing what's going on for everybody else and connecting with everybody again uh so thank you for having me back and have a little bit of patience I might be a bit Rusty U there's a new there's a new king isn't there caught up with that now just before we let you go have you had any um sort of letters cards from unexpected places Kate well you know I have I've had extraordinary things I had the most beautiful letter um from David and Victoria Beckham um handwritten be very good handwriting may I say very good handwriting that was Darcy's observation um and also um from the royal family Catherine and William um sent a beautiful letter and I know Katherine's been in a hospital herself so that was lovely and you know even the king um because there is somebody that knows about grief and also knows about that sort of anticipatory grief where you know something has a risk of happening and willn't maybe at one point inevitably happen but how different it is when it does happen and I just I'm not sure I'm allowed to say these things because I think you're sort of swore to secrecy but I'm not going into too much detail but I just think um it was lovely of them to reach out to me but it's lovely to know that those people understand those emotions I think for all of us you know what I mean it connects us all together um and it's only because I work for gmbb that they know who I am but there will be people watching that they don't know who they are but but they know the emotions and I think that's lovely yeah oh it's just a joy to any time left for anybody else on the show no but we don't I mean honestly K we can you know it's just lovely talking to you look I you know I we know how we know how hard this is it's so hard and and I think one of the brilliant things you do Kate and you've talked to me about it is you find the moments of Joy the last four years years with Derek have been hard but punctuated with moments of Joy haven't they you know incredibly incredibly I mean Elton Jong so sweetly sang um at his funeral the most beautiful song but what was wonderful is we managed to get Derek to see Elon John as a family something he'd always wanted to do throughout his life and also so many silly things at home being here when Bill and Dary came in from school to laugh and and all of those silly things so we've had so many moments of joy and thank you for all of those okay do please give our love to your lovely lovely children yeah all our love to you and dereck's Mom and Dad family of course and we will we will see you bright and early thank you Thursday in this chair loads of love to you Kate thank you it's uh coming up to 847 isn't C something so I mean just inated aren't we lucky to have it yeah absolutely right

Channel: Good Morning Britain

Views: 264,241

Keywords: good morning britain, breakfast show, news, morning news, gmb, good morning britain interview, itv, susanna reid, Talk Shows - Topic, kate garraway, derek draper, derek draper funeral, kate garraway husband, kate garraway finding derek, kate garraway derek

Id: HaTIhPfeNAA

Length: 22min 47sec (1367 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 05 2024