Karen Tries to Baby Trap Me! HUGE Mistake! /rEntitledPeople

hey there Mr redder here welcome back to another episode of Reddit podcast stories where today my current girlfriend is trying to baby trap me what should I do I'm completely at a loss here my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years we both met when we were 20 and I did think about marrying her eventually because she's everything I'm looking for in a partner when we got together I told her that I have absolutely no desire to have kids even adopting is not an option for me and she always assured me that it's completely okay and she respects my choice so far so good we moved in together several months ago but this is when things slowly began changing and I only am putting everything together now my girlfriend would do things like send me baby Tik toks or show me pictures of nursing rooms on Pinterest I always commented that they looked nice and she seemed kind of dreamy about it I always kind of assumed this was temporary baby fever and didn't really think anything of it then my girlfriend would start talking to my mother about having kids she wanted to see baby pictures of me asked her what it was like to raise me Etc at this point I started getting suspicious because even my mom suddenly said oh your girlfriend would make the perfect mother to your kids when once again the idea of becoming a father makes me sick this has been going on for a while but recently my girlfriend has started buying baby clothes when I asked her about it she claimed it was just because she thought it was cute I highly doubt that obviously she's been trying to tell me that she wants a baby but without outright telling me now I've reached the stage of panic I know my girlfriend uses birth control but she could very easily just stopped taking it and I probably wouldn't even notice within the last few days I refuse to hook up with her and she's really upset about it I just told her I wasn't really feeling well but she didn't accept that as an answer a few hours ago she set me down and asked me to spill what was going on with me and why I've become so nervous around her I just kind of blurted out I don't want a baby and she she asked me what I was talking about I explained to her what I've been noticing and she said I was insane for thinking that she would attempt to become pregnant with our baby without me agreeing to it first she left to stay with a friend for now and I am completely confused there's no way I misread those signs I feel like throwing up at the idea that she might already be pregnant am I overreacting how do I properly explain myself I do want a vasectomy but I don't live in the US and the doctors I spoke to told me I couldn't get one yet because I'm too young and I'll change my mind according to them I'm genuinely thankful for some of the advice I've been given I really do love her but kids is a deal breaker for me and I will openly discuss that boundary with her again and I think until then I just can't do anything about the way I feel I admit that I could have handled this differently but I think my anxiety just took over and I messed up an opportunity to have a normal conversation because I've been driving myself insane I genuinely hope this isn't the end of our relationship surely the better conversation was have you changed your mind on having kids because things I've noticed rather than admitting you think she's trying to baby trap you because that displays a level of distrust I would presume the same though as someone who isn't planning on kids doesn't need to be buying baby clothes give her time to calm down seriously I feel as though she isn't upset that you caught her having changed her mind about wanting a baby she's rightfully upset that you outright accused her of attempting to conceive without your okay which is a pretty hard har accusation to throw out even if you might suspect it she's your girlfriend for goodness sake okay this is going to upset everyone here but I will tell you as if I were speaking to my own son it's obvious what she is trying to do anybody with half a brain can see it now obviously it's not okay for her to do that so you need to break up with her everyone here is telling you how wrong you were to accuse her of this but that's because you're a guy guys can't do anything without Reddit crapping all over them so please for your own sake leave this psycho before she tells you babe I have a surprise I have no idea how it happened but I'm pregnant let me tell you this way if a man were trying to baby trap his girlfriend the way she's trying to do with you Reddit would be flipping out telling her to leave him the only reason they are all excusing her actions and saying that you're overreacting is again because you're a man well who do you think is a jerk op or his girlfriend please let us know how dare you accuse your girlfriend of trying to have a baby even though she knows you don't want one nothing like that has ever happened before and it never will right Reddit am I the jerk for not telling my sister-in-law about the life insurance policy my brother left me 7 years ago my brother Allan made a seemingly rash decision to marry someone pretty suddenly Jan from very early on they had issues that she often brought to everyone this is not how the family operates and if I'm being honest she made everyone extremely uncomfortable multiple times by airing her grievance es to anyone who would listen nothing major no cheating or anything like that despite that my family was warm to her because really it was alen's life and decision we accepted her and her kid from a previous relationship and we were thrilled when they welcomed a kid together I say I'm confident that at the very least Alan was Leary of her because he called me out of the blue to remind me I was the beneficiary of his insurance policy and that he'd like me to use that money to create education funds for the kids this conversation took place 2 years ago well Allan passed in an accident about 3 months ago Jan has continued to utilize the family for help which is totally fine I went through the process with a life insurance company and submitted all needed paperwork and everything seemed fine I 100% intend to abide by Allen's wishes everything was okay with Jan until recently recently Jan started acting outwardly hostile accusing Ma and Allen's mother of stealing Allen's money Jan likely with the urging and help of a third party went digging into information about life insurance and learned that there is a policy though she could not get additional info as she's not the beneficiary this appears to be where and when she decided to start acting hostile she is outwardly confrontational to my mom not me I attempted to sit down with Jan and explain things with the help of a translator believing that perhaps a language barrier and a lack of understanding of how these things work were creating problems she's not originally from here she went off screaming about how she's his wife and the money is hers and my mother is stealing from her I tried to explain that my mother has nothing to do with this and I'm not stealing anything she wants to hear none of it and seems to Waffle between my mother forced my brother to make her the beneficiary she's not on it and there was no beneficiary there is she also does not find it acceptable that this money will be going towards the kids educational needs I don't understand why she stormed off I was mortified by her behavior here I left apologized to the translator and haven't attempted to speak with her again although I've seen the kids for already scheduled events so am I the jerk for not sharing this information with her initially ETA several people have mentioned Jan perhaps being concerned about finances her finances are fine additional funds have been dispersed to her and will continue to be the kids are in no danger and nor is she I think you just found the reason why your brother made you the beneficiary and didn't tell her not the jerk if your brother felt she needed to know he would have told her if your brother had wanted his wife to know about the insurance policy he would have told her he had years to tell her if your brother had wanted and trusted his wife with the money he would have made her the beneficiary okay so your sister-in-law isn't happy well that sucks for her not the jerk and do what your brother wanted his widow sounds greedy and volatile don't let her get her hands on that money you know she could just be glad that her husband was looking to secure his kids education in case something happened to him am I the jerk for not quitting my job to help care for my husband's parents like I did for mine I'm done with this I figured I could just delete the post but I figured it would be locked soon anyway so let me leave my two cents my mental health matters I am not sorry for putting my mental health before others I'm good to no one if I'm stressed and broken also for those saying I'm selfish because I want money to enjoy what I want ask yourself this how quickly would you get depressed if you worked and got your check but it went boof and had nothing to show for it no one with a straight face can say that that's a good feeling nor is that feeling good for your mental health life is unfair but as many said I'm not required to burn myself to keep another person warm I should also not be ashamed for my career choice since if that is the case how many posters complaining about my career choice make six figures are all of your failures because you're not making big money being selfish is not not inherently wrong that's how we protect ourselves and I will continue to do so I do feel for my husband but he made a choice and he should not fault me for not making the same anyways bye Reddit keep throwing stones from your glass houses I pray that none of you end up in a position where you are tasked with giving up everything to be a caretaker it's soul sucking after time and you become an extremely ugly person where thoughts of love and happiness become those of dread and regret where you go to bed secretly not wanting to wake up ever again then wake up praying today is the day that the person you are caring for has passed on I wish I had someone suggest I put my father in a nursing home I wish my husband had given me a logical response like I've given him instead of an emotional one life is way too short to spend at doing something that makes you miserable our health care System sucks I understand my husband's view I get his mindset that a nursing home does not make things easier just a different type of difficulty I get all of that but he has has to understand I already gave up many years of not enjoying life and will not go through that again are you in the US tell your husband to contact social services and ask them if there's any resources some places have adult daycare where they can go all day and then come home late afternoon or evening some states also offer a Medicaid waiver called The Home and Community Based waiver that provides so many hours of inhome care in my state some people get 40 hours it's cheaper to keep people out of a nursing home but Social Services can help your husband determine if that's an option unless that's what you do for an occupation at a facility never agree to be a caretaker it's soul sucking as you already know explain that to your husband I can understand your husband's feelings about the situation but I don't blame you at all being a caretaker is hard and you know that definitely now if you know that you can't go through it again that's entirely legitimate not the jerk I feel like I still don't understand the money from your post it sounds like currently your mother-in-law is living in your home with a full-time caregiver who costs almost as much as you make in a year wouldn't you quitting your job be value neutral then how much would you save if you had put her into a nursing home op no my mother is in her apartment yes problem is I do not want to quit my job right I guess my point is I don't understand how you would be saving money if you quit your job like if the caregiver costs this much a year and you make this much a year those cancel out if you quit your job you save the money on the caretaker but also lose out on your salary and so you would be in exactly the same spot your post makes it sound like your husband wants you to quit because you can't afford the caregiver but based on what you're saying the money saved would be canceled out by the loss of your salary so I don't understand the rush for you to quit op I do believe I stated the cost of her care exceeds my salary so yes we would save money while it would save us some money if I pay for her care with my income or cover a larger percentage this means cutting on my 401k and fun money I would be working simply to provide care for his mother in practice I'm going to be totally honest this comment makes you a lot less sympathetic in my eyes and you omitted this from your original comment it sounds like there is a workable compromise here where you accept a cut to your standard of living for the duration of your mother-in-law's life and in exchange your husband gets to keep the peace of mind and comfort of keeping his mother out of a home your original post makes it sound like it was be a financial impossibility for your mother-in-law to continue what she's doing but here you make it sound like it would be totally possible in this case you would be sacrificing in the same way as your husband did when he supported you during your time of need you make it sound like the only options are I quit and I miserable or his mother goes into a home you yourself admit there is a third option if you insist on putting his mother into a nursing home because you want to keep your fund money then you would be the jerk so you could live off him to take care of of your dad but now that it would interrupt your fun money you don't want to help him I was originally going with not the jerk but now you are the jerk this comment is the truth because you're reasoning and yes he has every right to be angry at you your job doesn't even cover the cost of anything y'all would save money if you helped so it's okay for him to provide for you to take care of your own family but not his wow what a great wife don't be upset if he divorces you over the resentment of this it'll be well earned consequences suck but that's what happens when selfish choices are made am I the jerk for telling my stepdaughter's datee to acknowledge me and stop ignoring me when they come over to the house I just got married and my stepdaughter wants me to treat her like my daughter and told my wife this many times because I introduced her by her name a few times when we first started going out I didn't realize she wanted me to call her my daughter and my wife and I got married quickly I also have a biological 9-year-old daughter my stepdaughter just started dating this guy and last time he was here I made them burgers and when I asked if they were hungry he ignored me that really ticked me off but I figured I'd let it go today they came over and I'm in the driveway working out with my friend and he doesn't even look at me or say hi he just goes inside the house so I finished my workout and went inside to confront him I told him to his face in front of my stepdaughter with a firm voice it's common courtesy to say hi when you come over to someone's house and to show some respect then I walked away and she got all upset and went to my wife I told them he's lucky I didn't kick him out and that she should check him now everyone is mad at me and said my Approach was all wrong and they don't want to be here am I the jerk I feel like it's common sense to say hi when you go over to someone's parents house and I felt like I let him off easy my stepdaughter is 18 and he's 19 info did you say hello he may have felt weird and awkward interrupting your workout especially if if you did not acknowledge Him First you may not be friendly or approachable and he may be a shy nervous or even neurod Divergent young man if you didn't say hello then try that next time hey Jimmy how are you especially when he was working out with a friend what constitute rude or common courtesy varies widely between different households maybe he was raised to not interrupt people exactly like I know people who would lose their mind if you interrupt their workout boyfriend doesn't know op so he doesn't know where he lands on that you're the jerk based on the info you haven't been her father figure for that long she wants you to call her your daughter but that doesn't mean necessarily that she wants you to act like a stereotypical father sometimes the psychology of Step parenting is complicated you said you made them burgers and he didn't acknowledge you but what does that mean he didn't even look up when you came into the room he scoffed and kept watching TV or whatever or he just didn't answer for her when you asked if she and her boyfriend were ready to eat he didn't make eye contact when you were working out in your driveway with another grown adult workout buddy well heck that's about as Macho as it gets not even the garage but the driveway you're literally flexing on the whole street and he's supposed to come over and not emasculate himself somehow if he also was a sporty guy I'd get it but if he's a skinny theater kid then you and your friend probably look intimidating I get it's your house but if you really think of her as your daughter it's her house too and he's probably way more comfortable framing it that way maybe he is emotionally underdeveloped but I sure was too when I had my first girlfriend I didn't mean to disrespect I just didn't understand as a skinny tall kid who dated a girl with a short buff dad who reveled in confrontation I get the intimidation I also didn't have the benefit of having a family that regularly did reunions or gatherings I didn't understand the whole pain respects thing maybe he doesn't either but true he is being rude and then again you're a lean mean Burger grilling machine using your strong voice on some kid because he's too nervous to talk to you just be aware that the kid is just a stupid kid and you made him scared when you could have taken the opportunity to take him aside and just chat with him like he was an adult he would have grown and liked you more now he's probably just even more scared of you and thinks that you hate him you're the jerk you're the jerk you're not entitled to his attention just be a good host is that really so hard to do if he wants to talk to you he will maybe he has bad social anxiety instead of being a bully why not greet him and ask how he is you sound incredibly toxic and I have no idea why her mother would have married someone like you in the first place you're the jerk if I ever dated a girl and some bum want to be stepdad tried to pull this on me I would have told you let's take this outside bro and I would have proceeded to open a can of whoop tail on you like you've never seen before this is some textbook definition of mess around and find out and love how you're trying to brag about working out with your Bud the clock is ticking old man and no matter how much you can bench your best days are long gone and you know it you're the jerk this isn't a dad and daughter thing this is you trying to exert power over someone who clearly finds being around you uncomfortable for some reason well what do you think is op the jerk or not please let us know when you go to your significant other's house always greet their parents even if daddy oo is making some gains in the driveway at least acknowledge Him they'll appreciate it it'll help you build better relationships with them and that's really what it's all about my boyfriend ate all of the brownies I made and I cried about it so the other day I made these amazing Heath bar and pretzel brownies my boyfriend and I tried them almost straight out of the oven literal Heaven I was leaving to go back to my apartment so I could be in a reasonable distance to my work the next day and asked him to leave a few for me for when I came back for the weekend he said okay I was salivating thinking about having my brownies today at work but then I walk into his place brownie pan is clean and in the drying rack I feel dumb typing this out but I started tearing up it's just like I asked him to do one thing for me and he couldn't do it just like when I asked him to buy me flowers a few months ago and he promised he would he hasn't I buy him flowers for his vase whenever the last Bunch dies like when I asked him to plan a date I plan all of our dates like when I ask him to come over to my place instead of me making the drive all the time there's always some excuse again I feel dumb writing all of this and I can't believe the brownies are why I'm so sad right now it's such a small and stupid thing but it's just another brick built on top of the other small things update I did have a conversation with my boyfriend when he got off work we've had one-off discussions about the subject of me not feeling appreciated and what I do not being reciprocated me feeling like I'm pulling the weight before but this was the first sit down long discussion we've had I told him that it wasn't the brownie it was just another instance and a pattern of him being inconsiderate and not fulfilling yet another small request that would make me happy while I continuously go out on a limb for him and assess his needs ahead of time that I love him but I was starting to dislike and possibly even resent him for not putting my wants and needs first ever I said that I don't expect him to read my mind and that's why I lay out what I want and my expectations clearly and because he can't follow through when I make a direct ask it makes me feel uncertain about things he was quiet for a bit then he admitted that he hadn't realized it but that he now knows he's been taking me for granted for a while he's promised to put in the effort I deserve and that he understands that the little things will turn into big things especially as we move toward living together he recognizes that a lack of appreciation won't fly that's the short version but a lot of Tears were involved on both sides now we'll see what happens I do know my worth and I know that if he falls into the same pattern I'll be prepared to leave and find what I deserve thank you to all of the kind people who reached out and commented I controlled my neighbor's TV for 6 months from my phone and made him sell the TV now I regret it last year I had a jerk neighbor who would always be playing loud music be rude to everyone and not pick up his dog's mess when they would go for walks right outside the building the dog had a barking problem too but I'm not hating on the dog one evening I had problems with the internet and Just for kicks I tried to connect to my neighbor's Wi-Fi with a password 0123456789 guess what it connected the same evening at 11: p.m. I started hearing crappy drum and bass music from my neighbor's apartment as usual and all of a sudden I see a pop-up appear on my phone I have a Samsung phone and when you open the YouTube app on any Samsung Smart TV a popup appears on your phone with a TV casted YouTube app as long as both devices are on the same Wi-Fi network you have full control of TV YouTube on your phone pause play volume skip video if it's a playlist choose a different recommended video Etc at first I did not realize what the popup was and just thought what is this I thought my phone was glitching out there were options pause forward volume Etc I pressed pause and all of a sudden there was silence in my neighbor's apartment after a few seconds the music started again and I saw that the play button turned to a pause button again on my phone I pressed pause again music disappeared and behind the wall I hear what on Earth I cannot describe the feelings I had in that moment my facial expression must have looked like that of Chris Pratt meme from Parks and wreck oh snap the music started playing again and again I pressed pause now I'm hearing how angry my neighbor is I could feel his confusion and anger through the walls I had never felt so much power in my life God universe or whatever you want to call it had blessed me with a gift I kept messing with him that evening pause skip video turn the volume up and down he tried turning his TV on and off logging in and out of his YouTube account and nothing seemed to work he was so upset it was the first time I was happy that the walls in our building are so thin this went on for days turned out he mostly used YouTube on his TV to watch videos podcasts even to play music he was going completely insane he did switch to Spotify I'm guessing for music but still every time he wanted to watch a podcast or some videos I was there ready and waiting for him to feel my wrath throughout the next few months I heard him call customer support multiple times making him reset the TV to factory settings logging in and out of the YouTube app countless times sometimes I would stop messing with him for a couple of days to give him false hope then all of a sudden when I hear him watching some comedy podcast that he's enjoying I would start playing another video for him he would literally scream long story short after 6 months of this as I'm walking down the hallway one day I saw a r ROM couple carrying the TV out of his apartment and him holding cash in his hand I drove him to selling the TV and buying a new one in that moment I felt bad and started to regret my actions felt kind of childish about the fact that I had been doing this for 6 months my Caren girlfriend is demanding I take down certain pictures I 26 male think that this is completely ridiculous but maybe I'm actually wrong so here goes I've been with my girlfriend who's 26 for 5 years but we've known each other since we were 15 I'm fortunate enough to have my own place and we've discussed for a while her moving in with me as she's been staying in the house more often this wasn't a problem until she was about to move in I have a few photos in the house of me with members of my family the problem is with a specific photo of me with my brother and father she told me to remove the photo before she moved in to accommodate her I asked her why she answered that it was weird but to me there's nothing weird about the photo she's the one making making it weird maybe the one weird thing about the photos is that all of them are from when I was a kid she had no other arguments and in the end I refused and she said she wouldn't move in and I was okay with that this has been a topic of discussion for the past few days some of our friends and even my father said that I should just remove the photo to make her feel welcome but I just find that again this is ridiculous edit I won't post the photo because I don't feel comfortable doing so but I will describe it in as much detail as possible the photo was taken when my brother was six and I was seven in the middle is my father with a grin from ear to ear his eyes closed and his arms extended to his sides to his left is my brother buzzcut standing straight with his arms at his side like a soier and a serious face to my father's right is me long hair standing like a boxer from 1910 with my chin up and a Mean Mug all wearing a suit because it was taken at my uncle's wedding the photo was taken outside the place where the event took place there's nothing exceptionally related to the place the only things aside from us is the sun the blue sky and a bunch of trees she has met my family she's always been respectful and friendly with them and vice versa there hasn't been any incidents or problems with any of them I've asked her and she has denied it her problem is with the photo I described above I have other photos with my father and brother individually I do the same pose in various photos I have one doing the same pose with my paternal grandfather when we were both wearing boxing gloves he taught me the pose she stayed in the house multiple days even weeks she has things here she never brought up the issue I'm all for compromising but I need a proper explanation other than it's weird I still have long hair even longer than before she's very fond of it and it's not a problem none of the photos stand out they're put on a small part of the wall in the living room with the others including the ones where I'm with her they're not big or I'd basically be upholstering the entire wall she had issues with her family but they solved it but I don't rule out that something may have happened that she hasn't told me about she hooked up with your brother that's why the photo makes her uncomfortable there's no other explanation leave it to the redditors to jump to the absolute worst possible conclusion and then offer advice to break up maybe she isn't zeroing in on this one photo but is hoping you'll take one or two down to make room for a photo or two of her own I'm not buying what the others are selling but if this is the case she needs to use her big girl words and ask for space to hang photos not whatever this passive aggressive power move BS is I totally agree with you this is a passive power move of some kind they've been together for 5 years and only now she picks a specific totally innocent picture which has a real memory value attached to now make an issue about it to the point of not moving in yeah this is something else because that excuse from her is the dumbest thing I've ever heard there is absolutely something weird here I can think of two scenarios one something's wrong with that photo it triggers a past memory or two it's an attempt by her to see how far she can control the living space I'll reserve my vote you should have talked to your girlfriend to get to the bottom of why she's so adamant if she simply refuses to say and it's literally a deal breaker then I think you have to think about whether you love her enough that you can let this go or whether it's okay to continue to love someone who acts like this and will likely act like this in the future not the jerk when I read the title I fully expected it to be a photo of you with an ex or something but it's just you with your family doing normal stuff and she can't even explain to you why it's weird Something Fishy is going on here well who do you think is the jerk op or his girlfriend please let us know if you're going to call a photo of my family and I weird you better have an explanation for it husband demands I pick up his brother's son from school my husband who's 37 took in his nephew nephew who's 12 after his dad my husband's brother was diagnosed with cancer he told me that his nephew would be staying with us until his dad completes his chemo treatment I agreed although he did not consult me about it first but I told him that he'll be his responsibility not mine he asked me to explain why and I told him it's because one he didn't consult me before taking his nephew in and two I'm not equipped nor experienced in taking care of or being committed to child care I still have to cook and clean obviously he said it was fine and that he'd be taking care of him on his own the other day he called me in the afternoon saying he was stuck in a 2-hour meeting and asked if I could go pick up his nephew from school I said I was having lunch with Mom and discussing family issues he insisted but I reminded him that he said he'd be taking care of his nephew including a school pickup and drop off I suggested he'd try to get off work or call some family member to go pick him up he tried to argue but I hung up I went went home at 3:00 and surprisingly found my husband there he was angry he started going off on me calling me selfish and unfeeling I told him that his lack of management wasn't my fault he yelled saying that my lunch with my mom could have waited but I chose to be Petty just to prove a point I said that wasn't true and told him to get over himself and stop acting like he was the victim when he put himself in the situation knowing he wouldn't commit he yelled that he was trying to do all he can to help his brother out but it was me who's playing victim after I refuse to help out we argued some more and I ended up going to stay with Mom for the night he texted me some Choice words and that's when I turned my phone off we're still arguing about it you're the jerk you suggested he calls some family member to go pick him up that's exactly what he did his wife who should be a partner in the relationship you're displaying zero empathy to a family suffering through the effects of cancer your husband may lose his brother and your nephew his dad but you'd rather score Petty points because you weren't consulted about helping family going through chemotherapy you'd better hope you never get cancer because I'm not sure you'll have a support system 100% this whole post reads like her husband is her annoying roommate and not actually her husband and partner seems like a very individualized situation instead of a partnership plus regardless how is any of this the nephew's fault why take it out on him I agree with the point but husband was is n't behaving like a partner either Partners talk to each other before making big life decisions like taking in a family member I feel like this marriage has some serious dysfunction you're the jerk cold heartless and Petty also weird that you're married yet you chose to call the kid your husband's nephew and never once did you say our nephew even though you are his aunt by marriage wow this is the most cold-hearted crap I've ever read strong you're the jerk here that's your husband and your nephew they are your family you speak about your nephew like he's a dog and not a human the kid whose dad has cancer needing collecting from school far outweighs your need for a lunch date with your mom as does your husband's need to be at work could you and your mom not have collected him together and taking him for a bite to eat afterwards even if it's not something you wish to do on a regular basis why won't you help your husband out on just one occasion you're supposed to be a team and this is one of the most selfish things I've ever read fair play to your husband for putting up with this he's a better person than I am everyone sucks here your husband should never have sprung a whole entire kid on you without consultation and I understand not wanting to give an inch lest your husband take a mile but you also picked a jerk Hill to die on it would not have required a great deal of child care to pick up the kid from school his father is already Gravely ill he's been transferred out of his home and one of the adults in his new home basically wants to pretend that he doesn't exist this kid is going through enough and you were willing to let him feel even more abandoned to prove a point to your husband that's just foul not the jerk please don't mind all these complete idiots calling you The Jerk your husband is the one who's the jerk here I'm really disappointed in these replies because I thought Reddit was a little more modern in their views your sorry excuse of a husband has no right to demand you pick up his nephew if I was you I'd already be cheating on this loser and planning on leaving him please get a divorce ASAP you deserve so much better than what this complete nobody has to offer also don't feel bad about the kid not your monkey not your circus sis well who do you think is the jerk op or her husband please let us know some circumstances cause so much resentment in a relationship that it's doomed to fail this sounds like it could be one of them Karen completely ruined my cheesecake so I lost it on her so I'm 19 female and I'm a pastry chef I love my sweets to be on point as you can see them on pictures nothing less nothing more my mom who's 60 female on the other hand keeps destroying my sweets by adding too much of everything one time I made a strawberry cake for my Grandma's birthday and she came over to add a ton of whipped cream to it in the end the cake was a total disaster it was falling apart from too much cream and I yelled at her at the top of my lungs that she keeps destroying everything I make she put on the sad face saying she won't bother with me and my sweets anymore so last weekend we were visiting my Grandma her sister too and I made a fruit tart and a cheesecake I put them in the fridge and warned my mom to not touch it when we arrived we opened the cheesecake and apparently she had put chocolate syrup all over it and the box and cheesecake itself was an ugly mess at that point I had a breakdown and started yelling at her and crying saying why do you keep destroying my work I'm so fed up with you she kept pushing it off saying it's not beautiful enough and it needed a better picture on the the way home I wasn't talking to her and she started yelling at me saying that I was a jerk in front of everyone and I need to learn manners looking back I could have handled the situation better but I lost my mind on the other hand though I don't want anyone to touch my Creations am I the jerk for yelling at my mom in front of everyone edit thanks for your advice I know my behavior wasn't right and I feel sorry I tried apologizing and I pointed out very calmly my problem again she just brushed me off I sadly don't have much money for my work so I can't move out but I'd surely buy a small fridge someone said I should take my result picks before my mom destroys them which is another story that happened I was once hired for a baptism the man and I agreed on something after showing him what I can make after making the sweets again I took pictures of it too my mom took my pastry cream I had left over for something else she remade the site the way that she wanted it the man sadly didn't have a fridge so he asked for a suite that didn't need to be refrigerated my mom took the pastry cream and added cream and made it all blue the man's kid is a daughter by the way I'm really a relaxed person I'm fine if you come and try to give me advice on something but don't do it without asking me first I understand it was completely wrong of me to yell at her in front of everyone and in the past I have expressed how much I don't like what she's doing another example the rose cake I made instead of roses she wanted to add sprinkles all over the cake instead of the flowers when I added the Roses she wanted to add red circles all over it she does this on purpose it's a power thing it's not going to change ever move out not the jerk start a new Instagram of food my mother ruined not the jerk people saying you are the jerk or everyone sucks here are missing just how infuriating it is to have your work destroyed over and over by someone who knows exactly what they're doing this isn't a oneoff incident or a mistake but a pattern of behavior of course you're going to be upset I also do a lot of baking and I know how timec consuming these projects are your mother is deliberately sabotaging them then turning around and trying to make you look like the bad guy when you get understandably upset would I be the jerk for dropping out of a wedding when it's 2 weeks away I'm 29 male and I have a longtime girlfriend of 3 years Hannah my friend Kyle is getting married later this year I agreed to be a groomsman so it's me him and three other dudes I was disappointed when I found out I wouldn't have a plus one for the wedding but at the time I thought the same went for the other guys come to find out last weekend that the three other groomsmen do have plus ones two of them have been in relationships for less time combined than me the other guy is single and was complaining about not finding a date to bring on Tinder this is how I found out I asked Kyle what's going on why do they have plus ones but I can't bring Hannah this is what I found out so I'm walking down the aisle with the bride's Sister Lisa Lisa is developmentally disabled she's in her 20s but mentally she's about 10 Kyle says it's because they don't want to upset Lisa her parents figure she will never marry or have a boyfriend so they want me to come solo to give Lisa the impression that I'm single basically they want me to be a pretend boyfriend for Lisa if I come with Hannah that will make her jealous I'm really not comfortable with this Lisa is a nice girl but I don't like that I'm tricking her into thinking I'm someone that I'm not it's scummy to make someone believe I'm her boyfriend when I'm not Plus plus what if Lisa meets Hannah in the future and finds out we're together she's already gotten into trouble in her adult Care Group for fighting with another girl over a guy I told Kyle and his fianceé CLA that I'm not okay with this they told me I need to suck it up for a day because this will mean a lot to Lisa I'm not comfortable playing pretend boyfriend especially for someone who thinks we are the real deal I want to drop out at this point the wedding is 2 weeks away would I be the jerk edit you guys are right this is really messed up I called Kyle just now and told him we need to talk face to face I'll update if something happens edit I'm about to confront Kyle pray for me I'm going to need some time to calm down my friendship with Kyle is over and whoever said that I got roped in because Lisa has a crush on me you win I'll fill you in when I've had a moment I feel sick right now I think I can say what happened earlier this evening the more I read everyone's answers the more I realized how mess up this was I already had a feeling that this whole Lisa wedding date situation was messed up but reading all of your comments reinforced it I told Kyle that we had to talk and he agreed we met at his house Claire was there Lisa wasn't thank God basically I told them I was dropping out of the wedding I told them that setting me up as Lisa's fake boyfriend was beyond messed up what did they think was going to happen after the wedding was I supposed to continue the charade or dump her break her heart and be the bad guy CLA tried to explain what was happening something about how Lisa was upset and angry that she wasn't the one getting married that wasn't the part that upset me no want to know how I got upset it was because Lisa loves K-pop and is obsessed with Asian guys I'm Japanese American so that's why I got roped into being her fake date and not my single friend who has to rely on Tinder to find someone it's all some sick attempt at making Lisa feel better by hooking her up with the only Asian guy they know at that point I had had enough I told Kyle and CLA that it was over I wasn't going to the wedding I never wanted to speak to or see them again there was a lot of screaming and crying and Claire asked me why I would do this to her sister I barely even know Lisa except for the few times that were weding related and that's where things stand I don't know if they're going to try and paint me as the bad guy who broke Lisa's heart I already told the guys that I'm not coming and why who knows what the Fallout from this will be I spent the rest of the night trying to get a grip on on myself I still feel kind of queasy from this whole thing this feels like one sick joke I feel bad for Lisa because while I got out she still stuck with that crappy family I think I'm going to spend Saturday trying to put this all behind me with beer and a Brooklyn 99 Marathon thank you guys for your help at least I know there are people out there who also think this is a terrible idea oh I also asked why not hook up Lisa with Tucker the single friend using tender it's because she said he was too ugly and hated his beard I'm not going to tell Tucker that he's going to find out eventually am I the jerk for not telling my dad that my mom got married I'm 17 female and my parents got divorced when I was 12 because my dad had a two-year-long affair with my mom's best friend it was really shameful because Mom's best friend was with her since they were three my mom had been pressured by my dad's family that she forgives him but instead mom decided to divorce him a lot of the family members actually stopped talking to Mom because of this and and some of her friends also took her BFF side for this reason mom was very devastated over the years she has been to two different therapists for these issues she's had as for my dad he dated mom's best friend for a while before they broke up this is when my dad realized he loved Mom and tried everything to get her back but my mom was stubborn and shut him out he was still on and off again with Sylvia mom's best friend I had to be in this mess especially with my dad who would always try to Guilt Trip me into convince mom into being with him I've heard him say things like I wish we were family together it was just a mistake I'm willing to do anything to make amends I want us to be a family again but your mom doesn't want to I'd had enough of it so when I was 15 I decided to stay with Mom and only visit dad on weekends because I can't handle his constant nagging also because during that time my mom started dating Jack who was the father of my classmate my dad found out and started asking a lot of questions about Jack Jack he wanted me to spy on Jack but I had enough of it I strictly told him if he doesn't stop this nonsense I would cut him off completely a few months ago my mom announced that she will be marrying Jack within a few days they got engaged that day and only wanted a small ceremony with just a few family members it was a small gathering of only 15 people just me and Jack's son along with some close family and friends the wedding happened in Jack's backyard they had photographer too but my mom only recently posted the pictures after coming back from her honeymoon my dad had no idea because my mom didn't want him to know anything she was afraid my dad would create drama and cause a scene I respected her wishes my dad saw the photos and called me to confirm I said yes Mom got married a few months ago my dad was angry he called me a traitor and said that I was a jerk for keeping it from him he has the right to know which man my mom was marrying this was the last straw for me I told him to buzz off he's lost all rights over Mom the moment he decided to go hook up with Sylvia my mom knew he was an unhinged person so I'm glad she didn't tell him I also told him to leave us alone and I cut the phone my mom also got messages from him I read some of them they were mostly of him accusing her of breaking up our family I remind you again that he's dating Sylvia I heard from my cousins that my dad has started to act abnormal ever since I'm wondering if I went too far with it more info on syvia What hurts the most is that Sylvia was my mom's maate of Honor she's delusional because she thinks my dad is somehow the prize that's why after all these years she stuck around even people from my dad's family hater as for Sylvia and my dad's relationship plans I honestly feel no pity for her dad is a scumbag who only goes back to her every time my mom rejects him once he's bored they fight he or she cheats and then break up but they never block each other I'm literally tired of this mess if it wasn't for the court orders I would have cut them off completely I hope I can next year when I turn 18 update so something weird happened a few days ago Sylvia came to my mom's house I was there she was shouting at my mom and said that she's stealing her man my dad away from her she literally said you already had your fun with him why can't you just leave him alone my mom told her to get lost Sylvia went on a rant about how much she's better than my mom and even threatened that she would hook up with her new husband as well my mom told her that if that ever happens she will be doing her a favor by taking the trash out and she trust Jack would never hurt her my mom threatened to call the police on Sylvia and that eventually made her leave the property as much as I hate the drama I must say watching that wretched woman have a meltdown because my dad was still hung up on my mom is precious apparently dad dumped Sylvia again and hopes that Mom would see that he is dedicated to win her back who knows how long it will last my dad also got into a fight with a random person in a bar because he was drunk I guess he's still coping with the feeling that Mom is not going to be with him anymore thank God the guy didn't press charges I had a heart-to-heart conversation with him at least I tried to I asked him if he's so in love with Mom why did he cheat his answers were illogical he said that as a man it's hard to control himself at that time Sylvia was flirting with him and he took a shot he knows it's wrong he thought it would be a one-time thing and then he would dump but it went on for a long time he said I won't understand it because I'm not a man and that they can cheat but still love their wife and would even give their life for her he loves my mom but he still has urges to be with other women this conversation was going nowhere I didn't ask much I just told him I hope his son-in-law treats me the way he treated my mom he never gave an answer to that I still can't believe he would to this day think he's the victim anyways I'm thinking about moving in with Mom permanently I know Sylvia would come by his house now can anyone please help me understand what he means because I always thought you cheat because you don't love that person maybe I am wrong in some way just pick it off sweetie this actually happened many years ago now but I was dining in a restaurant with friends around 9ish in the evening not a fancy restaurant by any means but an affordable delicious option that's always open late it wasn't busy and there was one very bored waitress who looked to be about in her 40s she put on a perky and took our orders being a picky eater I asked for a burger with no lettuce or tomato I had ordered the exact same thing dozens of times before with no real issues but something was off about this waitress it comes with the lettuce and tomato honey she said like I was stupid yeah I laughed thinking she was just teasing me at first I just want the cheese though it just comes like that that's how we make it with lettuce and tomato she said in a matter OFA way I looked at my friends for some sort of help and only received dumbfounded looks from them um I said as nicely as I could would you just leave the lettuce and tomato off I was waiting for her to understand but she acted like I was speaking nonsense sorry but that's just how we make it she replied clearly annoyed now but if you don't like it just pick it off sweetie she finished taking our orders while I sat there stunned picking off leison tomato is easy sure but on rare occasions that this restaurant had forgotten to leave it off for me in the past it usually left the bun soggy and tasting like the toppings that I disliked hence why I asked for it not to be assembled that way and I did everything I could in my very confused State of Mind to be polite with this woman especially because I started to wonder if she was one on something two trying to flirt with me to win a bet or three profoundly stupid I did end up receiving a burger with lettuce and tomato surprise surprise and the bun was soaked by the questionable looking piled on tomatoes it even looked like they they had even managed to add more toppings than usual and I wondered what I could have ever done to this strange waitress to make her mess with my burger like that did I hurt her in a past life I asked if I could at least get a fresh burger bun because it was so watery and she just looked at me exasperated and said this again just pick it off it's fine I never made a scene I never asked to speak to a manager and I ate my fries and the parts of the burger that I liked I honestly don't really like confrontation but I did get a bit of petty revenge in the end on the table I left her the oldest dirtiest $1 bill for my friend's wallet as a tip because you should always tip your servers but I put the lettuce and tomato on top of that nasty dollar bill with a note saying just pick it off sweetie I wish I could have seen her face edit to add a few things the always tip your servers bit was supposed to be in a mocking tone since that's what people say I didn't convey that well enough so I wanted to clarify that I'm aware that you don't always have to tip for those of you saying I shouldn't have tipped her at all how else was I supposed to leave the toppings for her that dollar wasn't a loss it had been in my friend's wallet for over a year and it was so soft and deteriorated I doubt many establishments would have even accepted it as a payment especially after being soaked in tomato I really hope it was bad enough that she had to make a special trip to the bank to replace it three for those of you calling me names or referring to me as too soft or whatever because I didn't stand up for myself in a really bizarre situation that confused me this was almost almost a decade ago and I was much more anxious and shy back then I was in my early 20s at the time and working through some issues blah blah blah you don't really need to know my childhood story but I did my best then and these days I'll gladly tell you to buzz off for being rude or calling me names online or in person I mean is it some sort of weird power play for those of you calling out a presumably skittish person rude names that's messed up I found my boss's highly critical notes about a coworker after 10 years of working together my direct manager our director of operations Jessica was let go from our company a few months ago there were apparently some behind the-scenes issues between herself and our CEO Bruce he alluded as much to me and others in conversation I think in an attempt is transparency that led to this result Bruce had the replacement for Jessica set to start less than a week after Jessica was let go she was let go on a Tuesday my new manager Elizabeth started the following Monday which leads me to believe that this change was in the works for well over a month due to the notice Elizabeth would have had to have given at her previous job I don't know if I can communicate how sudden Jessica's termination was it was a surprise to everyone but especially to lla who is one of Jessica's best friends and who works as a manager when Elizabeth first started one of the tasks at the top of her list was meeting with the managers and department heads to get a feel for the organization but the meeting with lla took place after hours and from what I heard of it it was not polite or professionally handled I work after usual business hours and the doors to my office and the conference room were both open Elizabeth and Bruce were both quite aggressive towards lla thankfully another manager Mandy was also in the meeting and was able to give lla a little support and a chance to take a breath the meeting eventually seemed to calm down and I closed my door once I realized what I was hearing and I've chocked that up to Elizabeth being primed by others possibly Bruce to take a defensive position due to lyla's close friend friend ship with Jessica this is my conundrum I went to our communal Supply Closet last evening to get some notepads there weren't any fresh new ones but I was looking for scratch paper for myself and don't mind using up the drags of someone else's old notepad I grabbed a few remnants and went back to my desk when sorting through the notepads quickly to clean up any loose pieces I noticed that one had writing on the second page down I flipped the page up intending to remove and Shred whatever notes were on there the notes that I saw were Elizabeth's not notes from or possibly after that first meeting with lla I'm sure I won't shock You by telling you that the notes at a glance once I realized what they were were not flattering to yla in the least some pertained to her work performance but others were very crude and inacurate assessments of lyla's personality and what Elizabeth did not like about her there was also a page after those notes with some jotted down info from a highlevel meeting that Elizabeth attended again at a quick glance I don't know what to do now should I pretend I never saw the notes shred them and keep my mouth shut should I take the notepad to Elizabeth and explain how I ended up with it allowing her to destroy the notes herself I could even play it more as funny thing I grabbed this old notepad from the supply closet and it looks like you still have some notes on here did you want to check them to see if you still need them but of course she will want to know if I saw what the notes were about it's very fortunate that I was the one who came across this information as I work at the manager level with clearance and responsibilities to match and previously did HR type work for the company I suppose my biggest issue here is wondering if Elizabeth made notes like that about lla what kind of notes did she make about me after our first encounter I can't ask her that but I worry that bringing up the Laya notes to Elizabeth will cause her to mistrust me to be very clear I have no intention of telling Lyla or anyone else about what I saw Elizabeth and Lyla seem to have evened out a bit and their relationship is maybe not the best in the world but it's certainly better than when Elizabeth first started I don't want to cause issues or drama I just want a good working relationship with my new boss update we don't have HR and the only members of the company above me in the hierarchy at the time were Elizabeth and Bruce I felt a lack of ownership when it came to drawing attention to the situation or deciding what the correct course of action would be my final determination was to seek out the Council of Amy Bruce's executive assistant who had been in charge of cleaning out Jessica's office when I showed the notes to Amy she in instantly made the decision to shred them we have a third party company who shreds our documents and those are kept insecure lock boxes until picked up I also left it to Amy to decide whether to inform Elizabeth about the situation as far as I know she didn't I had also gone through the cabinet to make sure no other notepads had any written pages on them and I found one notepad with Jessica's notes from a common meeting a few years prior so I shredded those General updates on everyone involved Elizabeth is no longer with our company she gave notice about 6 months in citing the not grade fit on both sides as well as an opportunity she could not pass up Elizabeth remains a mixed bag in my opinion before she left the company she ensured that I received a review and a raise after not having a review for over 3 years however there were some professionalism problems evident for example Elizabeth and I were having a very serious one-on-one discussion and while I was talking she reached into her drawer pulled out her floss and proceeded to floss her teeth I I was stunned and I assume I stopped speaking because she gestured for me to continue I asked if she needed me to come back and she replied that no it was fine and flossed all of her teeth not in an excuse me this popcorn kernel is stuck sort of way it was with both hands in her mouth just sawing away at her gums at that point I think she had already mentally checked out our serious discussion was about something she had done without thinking and I was doing my best Trying to minimize the Fallout the real benefit of Elizabeth is Regina who Elizabeth hired prior to leaving Bruce promoted Regina into the role Elizabeth had vacated and we are all delighted to work with Regina Bruce is still Bruce after Elizabeth left he went around seeking guidance on what had gone wrong he has a history of taking resignations a little too personally but I honestly think that the situation worked out as best it could Elizabeth was a rebound in a sense and while I did not wish such a short tenure on her Regina was able to step into the role without the crushing weight of constantly being compared compared to Jessica as far as I know Jessica is doing well in her new job the same for lla lla the unknowingly recipient of this vitriol found a great job elsewhere and from all accounts is thriving lyla's last day was close to Elizabeth's and while I think lla might have stayed with Elizabeth gone her new work environment sounds much healthier for her and the work well suited to her skill set along with the lack of baggage she still had here as Jessica's close friend no room but I paid my deposit this tale comes from when I was working night audit in a busy Hotel on the outskirts of a small City about 8 years ago it's a soldout night I have one room left with one check-in marked with a late arrival flag so we know the guest is arriving after 2 a.m. and late shift have already spoken to the guest over booking off and our local ring round also verifies that the area is sold out to this is going to be a perfect fill so I'm happy and my night Porter is cracking on with the rounds it's 2:15 a.m. and I'm just about to run the night audit when in walks Karen she states her name slaps down a credit card and asks to be checked in quickly immediately alarm Bells Are Ringing as it's not the name on the last arrival I have on the list I ask her the normal questions one is your reservation booked under another name two do you have your booking confirmation in hand she looks at me as if I'd suddenly grown an extra head asks if I'm stupid and pushes her credit card further towards me across the desk me I'm really sorry madam but I don't have a record of your reservation for tonight and the hotel is sold out if you don't have a confirmation number to hand me I can't check you in as I don't see a verified reservation for you Karen I have a booking it's been made months ago and I paid a deposit I just want to be checked in me okay let me run your card and see if I can find any payments was this the card that you prepaid your booking with she rolls her eyes I run the card sorry madam but I'm not finding any payments ass so associated with this card for previous or upcoming reservations are you sure your booking is for this hotel as there are two other hotels of the same brand with similar names in the city Karen I always stay here the reception manager knows me and takes care of my bookings personally me Madam I am the fom and I believe that this is the first time I'm making your acquaintance and when I pull your information up I'm not seeing any data which means you haven't had a reservation with us in the past 3 years are you sure you've booked in this specific location this interaction is continued back and forth for almost 25 minutes and her attitude is nonchalant with the occasional eye rolls Huffs and puffs she's texting the entire time by this time I've accessed the Chain's Dreadful Central reservation system and searched other local properties which are showing she doesn't have any bookings there the last arrival has also turned up with her kid in toe and is sat in our lobby sofa watching the entertainment I've already paged my porter to discreetly check in the waiting guest so not as to antagonize Karen who is scarily quiet and I'm just waiting for her to explode finally she slams her entire purse down on the counter and exclaims my stupidity she claims to have paid a 50% deposit that the reception manager always handles her reservations personally and that I'm a complete and total by this time the other guest comes back down for a smoke and is laughing watching this crazy person just lose it I let her melt down entirely and when she's run out of steam I suggest that I can book her a room at the only available hotel in a 20m radius however as she doesn't have a valid booking with me she would need to pay the rate at the hotel direct and then contact us with her proof of booking and I assured her that she will get a free refund and a comp week booking with spa treatments if she has the proof of reservation and I'm wrong off she eventually toddles to the waiting BMW that's been idling in the entire time she's there I make the reservation for her at the new hotel and write out a brief Handover log in walks the lateer arrival guest who's been smoking and enjoying the free entertainment she slaps down a brand new 20 pack of Mal BRS Winks at me and says looks like you need these Pats me on the arm and heads off to bed I was off for the next two days came back and caught up with the GM apparently she never arrived at the booked out Hotel didn't come back to us and no one knows who she is it still baffles me to this day what her game plan was and Where She Went am I the jerk for not letting my friends stay over at my house when they travel to visit and refusing to pay for their hotel I 25 female have friends a couple that moved a while back to another state because of college and decided to stay there even after graduating we keep contact via texting and video calls but we've never seen each other face to face since they moved they decided to travel to the city I live in so we can spend time together we had all chosen a lot of things to do in the two weeks they're supposed to spend here the conflict is that I don't want them to stay at my apartment like sleep here over overnight while they're here but they don't have family or other friends in this state or close by that they can stay with which means they'd have to pay for a hotel a day ago when they arrived we were talking and I asked them which hotel they picked they were confused and Anna who's 26 asked what I meant they thought they were going to stay at my apartment with me we hadn't discussed where they would stay before they came here and I assumed they knew that they were going to stay at a hotel since they have never stayed at my home like that and they know I don't let anyone stay over like that not even my parents or my boyfriend they said they thought I had changed my mind about these things but I never said I had they just assumed I did I live in an apartment alone and even though there isn't a guest room I have my old mattress that I could put on the living room or in my hobby room or they could sleep on the couch but I refuse to do so or to help pay for the hotel they're both very annoyed with me and think I'm being selfish but James who's 25 is furious he thinks I'm being ridiculous Anna accepted to pay but James wants to either go back or make me let them stay in my apartment they're staying at a hotel at the moment and we didn't do what we planned to yesterday Anna texted me that she's trying to convince James to stay in the hotel and maybe she will but nonetheless they both think I should change my mind the reason I don't want them or anyone to stay over is because it makes me very uncomfortable to have anyone in my home while I'm asleep or not there I hate the idea of someone messing with my things without my permission or seeing something I'd rather they not see or even stealing something and they know that but they thought I'd become more lenient about it I asked my parents and other friends what they think and the general consensus is that it would be nice of me to let them stay but since I am known to be quite neurotic between our friends and family and it's not like I told them I changed my view nor implied they could stay I wouldn't be in the wrong if I don't allow it not the jerk who expects to just come crash at someone's house for 2 weeks who plans a trip without having accommodations 100% squared away everyone sucks here I'm amazed an adult would go on a 2-e trip without confirming Arrangements this is not something that should be assumed that's nutty Behavior indeed but if you suspected they might want to stay at yours you should have asked the hotel question before they arrived I find it nearly improbable that you made all these plans and never had a clue that they figured they would stay at yours that said if someone travels to see me I always offer to pay for or split the cost of a hotel when I've lived in a smaller space especially if I was the one who invited them out at the very least I treat them to a nice dinner on me I mean do you know how much it's going to cost them to book two weeks of hotel last minute you're kind of a crappy host and I would probably go home and not visit you again if you did this to me but it wouldn't happen because I would have asked if I could have stayed with you my girlfriend's mom is demanding to move in with us not going to happen I 23 male and my girlfriend who's 22 have been been together for almost 6 years now we just moved into a house that I bought and own a month and a half ago I'm a first-time homeowner and this is my first time living on my own away from my parents she's been living in an apartment for a few years prior to moving in here we make enough to live comfortably we bring home around $80,000 combined and as a result I was able to buy a pretty big house for the two of us nearly the size of my parents home I alone pay the mortgage and utilities since it's my house girlfriend has been generous enough to buy groceries subscriptions Etc she's also paid for some of the furniture we have when we moved in the issue here came about 2 weeks ago girlfriend's mom an isn't well off she lived in a trailer with her boyfriend and they broke up a few months ago so she had been living with her mom and mom's husband Anne's mom passed a couple of weeks ago from cancer and now her mom's husband is kicking her out she has the possibility of living with my girlfriend's sister and her boyfriend who live with the boyfriend's parents but ant been insistent on moving in with us I am firmly against this it's my house I'm very much enjoying living on my own and honestly I don't want anyone else here it's not my fault that her mom hasn't done anything to improve her financial situation and I shouldn't be forced to endure her consequences of her actions the fact that to my knowledge she isn't even looking at apartments other trailers in that area or a job just shows me that she intends to move in here and stay here I can tell my girlfriend doesn't want that either but wants to cave and ask me to allow it though she's been avoiding the subject directly with me given the uncomfortable situation she's understandably in I love her to death but she's a massive pushover when it comes to her mom she had me driving to Walmart to get food and cigarettes for her mom when we started dating because her mom was too lazy to do it my girlfriend's sister has been saying I'm a jerk because we have a bigger house and we can easily take her in I told her outright it's not my mom and not my problem which caused her to to throw a tantrum on the phone and she accused me of trying to make her mom homeless I've been feeling guilty but I want to hold my ground I don't want to enable her mom to sit around here all day drinking so am I the jerk someone takes issue with OP calling it his house and not our house op although I love her and fully intend to marry her soon for the lack of better words here I didn't want to be the idiot who put his girlfriend's name on the title only for us to break up for some reason and have to deal with resolving that if and when we get married and I let her start contributing to the mortgage she'll be put on the title I can understand your argument but I do want to communicate here that I've been working since I was 14 to get to where I am now I was able to put a ton down on the house to make my monthly payment pretty low compared to what I net per month her buying groceries and paying for Amazon Prime and chewy for her dog is more of a gesture of Goodwill rather than a necessity I could still afford to live by myself where she not in the picture I never communicate to her about the house that way but I do darn right think it because I need to be prepared should we ever split in my opinion it is my house until she's on the title or mortgage after we'd get married I'm completely for equality in relationships but she didn't bust her tail working until 11 p.m. every night as a farmand like I did when I was 14 when I said that to her sister I was fed up after going back and forth for 45 minutes on the phone with her about this I just honestly wanted to shut her down and to end the call I do acknowledge I could have handled that much better than I did on the bit about the sister sharing the responsibility this financial situation isn't unique to my future mother-in-law as I mentioned girlfriend's sister lives with her boyfriend in the boyfriend's parents house girlfriend is the first one in their family to graduate college and the only one in that family that has a job paying above minimum wage this caused a lot of resentment from girlfriend's sister about my girlfriend I don't see them cooperating on a solution here but I will try to propose it about the mom her mother is in her late 40s and has no disabilities that I'm aware of she used to work in a meat processing plant before lockdown but she quit because she didn't want to catch it and hasn't had a job since nothing has been brought up about her contributing to the house it's essentially been her trying to guilt my girlfriend into letting her move in as to her position she doesn't want her moving in either but as I mentioned she doesn't know how to tell her mother no so she's been stalling her mom I don't think it would be the end of the world to her if I just came in with a resounding no the this woman is in her late 40s has no savings has lived off of SNAP benefits since my girlfriend can remember she's done nothing to improve her financial situation spends what money she does get on beer and cigarettes I don't want to be living with her I don't want my nice house ruined by cigarette smoke I don't want to take care of a lazy 40-some yearold that doesn't want to act like an adult and get a darn job about the mom smoking again she won't take it outside before all this started when we would go visit at Anne's mom's house I would have to immediately wash all of my clothes in their own load to get out the smell and if it wasn't obvious the cancer that took her mom was lung cancer currently taking my father as well update my girlfriend now fiance and I are fine we talked about it and agreed since it is my house I would be the one to grow a pair and say no her mom came up to visit probably to scout out the house she thought she would be living in and I laid it all out for her over dinner after sitting down and having some small talk I essentially said that under no circumstances would she be moving in with us and that was that she got pretty agitated trying to guilt me with what's the big deal where will I go I'll be on the street if you don't let me move in I started to reiterate that it's not my or our problem but I remembered some of the suggestions that the commenters on the original post gave and suggested public housing some local Assistance programs like food pantries Etc she still wasn't having it though she's very entitled she said it would be a lot easier for her of course these people only think about themselves if we just let her move in she didn't want to go through the hassle of applying for public housing she doesn't want to have to go to the food banks stuff like that we kind of went back and forth talking over each other and it escalated to the point that I kicked her out didn't lay any hands on anyone but I took her plate of food and threw it out and told her to get the heck out of my house she left after some yelling and my new neighbors saw the whole show of her going off on me and peeling out of my driveway chewing up some of my yard during the process so that was fun when the yelling started my girlfriend retreated to our bedroom and after her mother had left I went back there to find her crying after giving her some time and cleaning up dinner I didn't so much throw her mom's plate out as I did launch it at the trash can so it was everywhere I went back in and we had a long talk about what happened she told me I did the right thing but I had scared her with all the yelling she has a lot of issues from her past unsurprisingly but I reassured her that her mom wouldn't be coming back and this whole thing was over so far that's wrong true I suggested she give therapy a shot since her family is such a mess and she has a lot of baggage that she could talk about and she agreed only asking if I would attend some sessions with her which I happily agreed to do she's been a three so far alone and a fourth one with both of us and from what I've heard they've all been going very well so that's pretty much it her mom has buzz off back to the hole that she came from and hasn't bothered us since asked her to marry me like last week and she said yes so I'm looking forward to starting this new chapter in our lives and no her mother won't be invited to the wedding thank you for all the helpful comments and suggestions they really helped me out am I the jerk for telling my boyfriend he will be financially cut off from me and I will provide zero help if he buys a pug puppy info VT is vet technician ivdd is intervertebral disc disease Brack dogs have skull bones that are shortened in length giving the face and nose a pushed in appearance dermatitis causes them to have itchy skin and otitis is an ear infection so this situation involves me 28 female and my boyfriend who's 27 we've been together for about 2 years in some change we live together and split all of the main bills but the rest of our paychecks we keep separate and spend how we want to typically this works fine but despite him earning the same sometimes more than me he's not great at budgeting he gets take out almost every day buys coffee every single day sends his horrible mom money whenever she asks Etc and I've had to help him out with money multiple times but the real issue started when he brought up wanting to buy a pug puppy now I work in veterinary medicine lead vettech at my clinic and frequently see firsthand the suffering these dogs go through due to bad breeding and even just their breed standard Anatomy plus they're prone to so many chronic expensive health issues and I found over the years that no matter what the other person says if you work in my field and they get a pet a lot of the harder care aspects like medical will fall on you and honestly I find buying a pug at all to be unethical and something I'm not okay with I certainly wouldn't be willing to bring them into my clinic and shoulder the responsibility which I know is what would happen I love my boyfriend but this is a guy who thought neutering a dog involved removing their parts and even says he knows nothing about animals until he met me who's going to have to manage the situation when the dog has chronic allergic dermatitis or otitis or ivdd or one of the other million issues they typically end up having me I already know it I explained all of this to him and he got quite upset with me for completely shutting down what he wants I told him a small to medium dog isn't out of the question just not a pug or other bra dog and not a puppy they are far too much of a time and effort commitment than either of us can provide and wouldn't be good for anyone I don't like to admit that I pulled the this is literally my career field and I know what I'm talking about about when he kept repeating well you don't know that because yeah I kind of do I'm also not proud of this but I told him if he did get the pug puppy I would never help him out again with money and I would give him zero help with the puppy including bringing them into my clinic as an employee Affiliated pet for at Cost care cheaper but by no means free or medications he was pretty shocked when I said this and left our apartment to go cool off I guess he told our mutual friend because they told me via text that I was being a jerk about the whole thing and must hate animals all my co-workers agree with me but I know they're obviously biased am I the jerk edit to add this mutual friend was his best friend before we started dating and they became my friend also or at least I thought they were while what they said is crappy and not okay I have a hard time believing my boyfriend actually called me that to him even when we argue not often but it does happen he's never used any words like that or anything even remotely disrespectful I would not tolerate that he is immature at times but never like that another edit to address some common things in the comments my clinic is actually part of a shelter I talked at length with him about how we could go Foster one of the dogs from work who was compatible with us in our lifestyle size energy age cat friendly Etc before adopting and he was not happy with this he also was not interested in mixes with a Pug who didn't have the extremely short face due to not looking like a pug anymore that's when I got a little more forceful with my ultimatum if we got a dog together then I would be happy to take on The Lion Share of things like medical care because this is a pet we got together and it just makes sense I got my cat before dating him so my cat and have never asked him to shoulder any aspect of her care other than feeding her if I was going to be home late from work or something similar we have never had an issue like this before so that's one reason I'm a bit lost on if I was really in the wrong or not clearing up confusion I'm a vet tech not a veteran Arian think of it as nurse versus doctor just been seeing some confusion in the replies what if he rescued a pug or other Brack breed or opted for a pug mix op this was brought up and while it does alleviate the ethical issue of purchasing one a pug being bought from a breeder versus adopted at a rescue does not change what health issues they will have update so I didn't dump him yet after we had a long talk could we still break up if I don't see a lasting chance from him him yes but we aren't there yet and him admitting he messed up is a big part of that and no a pug puppy is not happening turns out that the dog he had as a kid D was a pug and he was devastated when D passed he never really liked talking about D and I had never pried he cried a lot once he started talking about D thought D was always very healthy so when I was going on about the health issues with pugs he assumed that it was overblown and I was just being overly cautious since D was healthy and and he wanted a dog that looked like him brought on after Mom had found his old collar I got a gut feeling so I kept trying to as kindly as possible ask questions about D how often did they take him to the vet if he had any photos Etc turns out he couldn't remember a single time this dog went to a vet if a vet never diagnoses an issue it doesn't exist right and once he found some old photos I pointed out that the dog clearly had ocular issues likely untreated KCs with ulceration and eventually went blind said in a way that indicated hip issues even remembered a time that the dog collapsed after playing in the yard but he got up again a while later so his mom said he was fine once I spelled all of this out to him he looked like someone had slapped him across the face and just said that he was sorry he was just like all those awful owners I tell him about Etc he was a kid he shouldn't have been expected to manage that dog's veterinary care but now that he's an adult he needs to look at the situation logically and I was extremely hurt he gave zero Hoots about my professional opinion I get that enough from owners at work don't need it from my boyfriend he apologized and said he doesn't think he's ready for a dog after all and when that time comes he's happy with looking at dogs from the shelter I work at so the issue with his friend I did something I had never done before asked to see his phone their messages FR got a very one-sided version of events thinking I unfairly vetoed him but never used any of that language showed him what his friend sent me and he was pretty take in a back told me he would deal with it if he doesn't this relationship cannot continue and money that was hard tried to be gentle but it feeds into a deeper issue with his mom not a new issue and I told him enough is enough and I can't keep supplementing his income because he gives so much money to her something happens and suddenly has a big medical bill car randomly breaks down obviously I would help him money for psycho mom no done her or me he chose me going know or low contact with her and absolutely no money even if she does her manipulative BS we'll see if he holds to that if he doesn't he knows I'm done am I the jerk for walking out of an event when my fiance introduced me as a bookkeeper I 45 female have a fiance male 55 who is a retired military officer I own a successful company I started 7 years ago and have a small staff of 25 I worked my way through college paying as I went therefore I graduated in my early 30s with a double major in accounting and business management I'm very proud of that for a little background I worked hard for my degrees and have zero Dad I know it took me longer than the typical student going full-time to college After High School I worked full-time to pay as I took classes I went to Junior College first then finished at a fouryear I took two classes per semester for a long time but I finally made it I've been teased that Junior College isn't the same as going four years at a major university well I'm proud to have done both and feel the education I received at Junior College was excellent I worked as an accountant for some large corporations as well as programming and it I started my company doing similar support to large and small companies alike I have a wonderful staff I manage the contracts kickoff meetings sales and Consulting staff I also do some of the Consulting and most of the sales and contracts my sister is my office manager and I'm blessed in so many ways to have her I was dating my now fiance before I started my company and we recently got engaged everything seems to be perfect except he keeps introducing me as a bookkeeper no disrespect intended to them or their profession my issue is that I've worked hard to get to where I am I'm an accountant graduate with a double major and successful business owner he could pick almost any other title to introduce me as but he chooses bookkeeper I've asked him many times in private to stop calling me a bookkeeper as it implies to my clients and business associates that he doesn't respect me or what I've accomplished lished he said he doesn't see the big deal or the difference and continues to do so I recently pulled him aside and asked him to just introduce me as a consultant at the event we were going to while there we were talking to a prospective client from my company and he says she has come a long way for a bookkeeper I know my face had a full blush at that excused myself and walked away we both had driven there so I got in my car and went home we both own our own town homes I sent him a text to let him know I was leaving and we talk to him later he thinks I'm overreacting my family thinks he's a controlling jerk that doesn't respect me I'm not sure what to think now he seemed so supportive when we're together but not when we're around other people he tends to treat me like a subordinate he does talk down to me in front of my family but I always assumed he was joking badly so am I the jerk for leaving and overreacting update I had a conversation with him a few days ago he feels I'm lucky to have him and need to listen to his advice more and not over react the attitude along with reading everyone's replies I've called it off with him I need someone who's proud of me and caring my family responded by buying champagne edit to had another conversation with the ex fiance now that I had time to get my emotions under control he was willing to let it go I laughed and told him I'm fine and so are my emotions I told him about the post and that he should just read the replies now let's just say he was not happy I did say no names were used just me I and he here's the total shocking part he wanted to know what I was going to give him for his help with my company after the shock War off I handed him a dollar and walked away told the family and my brothers wanted to pay him a visit I told them I handled it and I gave him a dollar we all laughed went to the store and got more champagne God I love my family my last two days at my hotel job I think this will be my last day at this particular Hotel I'm burnt out my my hotel is a mom and pop typee of place it's not owned by any big Corporation or anything and it's been in the same family for over 20 years the owner passed a few years back and ever since then it's traded hands between family members originally the owner's wife ran it with her two kids and when they ultimately couldn't handle it they handed it over to a cousin to run he's the current owner the owner is absolutely checked out he's got two other businesses he has his hands in and hardly ever pays any attention to the hotel itself third floor has ceiling TI falling apart second has the rug coming up with signs that say pardon us which have been there for 2 years according to our reviews and our first floor has more stains than rooms the only thing he's upgraded in the time I've been here is the clocks April 21st we were supposed to have our new AC turned on WE taped off our parking lot for a day had a crane come out and install it in everything you could even see it from across town but the contractor that put it up there apparently failed to get a permit through our city and now it's sitting on someone's desk where it's being ignored not exactly sure what's going on above my pay grade and all that but the crap has been rolling downhill ever since and I just can't take it anymore it's June and where I live it's about to get hot like 100° about 30° C hot today was my last straw after weeks of handling iate customers our owner will not update the website to say we have no AC currently thinks that guests will be more lenient after coming in and finding out that want to yell at and scream at me about it and the Wi-Fi I walked in today to my coworker having an absolute meltdown to sum it up she called our entire front desk staff useless called me stupid tried to snatch my phone out of my hand when I tried to show her a photo said no one knows how to do their jobs and that none of us know how hard she has it also this entire time her boyfriend is standing in the lobby yelling as well this is where I could go on and on about how she never cleans never does her res checks always comes in late and never breaks down the day before she leaves and that's only the tip of it but it doesn't matter she's not doing her job at all and it shows manager is supposed to be back tomorrow apparently we're going to figure this out but I'm fully expecting to walk away from this job at this point not even bringing my crap in tomorrow I'm just going to leave it in the car I have a feeling that one of if not both of us will walk away from this meeting feeling disappointed I love this place despite its problems and I love my co-workers EX except for her but I don't have to be here I don't need this job I can just walk away this time no strings attached and that feels good but it'll also be sad to walk away from here I won't put up with being yelled at by a coworker update yesterday I was sad and already grieving the loss of what feels like a wonderful job today after reading that others have had the same difficulties I'm angry and disappointed I know some have asked for an update so here it is at first I lamented the entire situation I thought about quitting before even going to the meeting not showing up allog together or just texting her that I quit but I decided that I would shiny up my spine and go in dropped off my kids and got there with 15 minutes to spare before I was supposed to clock in for one of the busiest days of June the moment I got into our office it became pretty clear what was going to happen and that I was going to quit my manager was laxidasical about the whole thing was trying to shrug off the entire situation almost immediately and the other girl wasn't even there some meeting I asked her what was going to be done because I didn't plan on clocking in until this was handled Q rug sweeping apparently everyone has bad days tell me something I don't already know and that everyone brings drama to work and we have to be understanding BS so I asked her to give me one example of me having a bad day taking it out on others and generally causing drama if you guessed that she couldn't you'd be right anyways after ignoring the part about the co-worker's boyfriend rushing up into our employee area what the heck and making me feel unsafe she asked me what I honestly expected her to do as a manager I don't know maybe do your job why was I left alone yesterday and why did no one come in to handle the situation again she couldn't give me an answer so I told her that if nothing is going to change then I'm going to leave it only took 10 minutes of her trying to make the problem go away before I just settled into the reality of that's not enough for me I hope she's worth it because my boss's decision last pay period drove off three people this period she's driven off twoo including me and we only had 10 people when I first started and I'm pretty sure at least one other will leave after me now I get to hang out with my kids for the rest of the day and go swimming tomorrow today I messed up by phasing out third-party apps potentially toppling Reddit hello Reddit this is your usually confident CEO but today I'm here for a different capacity as a fellow redditor who's made a big oopsie so here it goes today I messed up by deciding to eliminate third party apps and as a result unintentionally creating a crisis for our beloved platform like most today I messed UPS it started with good intentions I wanted to centralize user experience enhance quality control and create uniformity I thought having everyone on the official app would simplify things and Foster a better more unified Reddit experience but oh how I was wrong first the backlash was instant and palpable users and moderators alike expressed their concerns about the utility and convenience that these thirdparty apps offered I heard stories of how some apps like riff had become an integral part of the Reddit Journey especially for moderators who managed communities big and small then came the real shocker in protest moderators began to set their subreddits to private some of the largest most active corners of Reddit suddenly went dark the impact was more significant than I'd ever anticipated frustration mounted and so did regret this wasn't what I wanted I never intended to disrupt the community spirit that defines Reddit or make the jobs of our volunteer moderators harder yet here we are I've made a Monumental miscalculation in assessing how much these thirdparty apps meant to our community I didn't realize the extent to which they were woven into the fabric of our daily Reddit operations particularly for our moderators in short I messed up I didn't fully understand the consequences of my decision and now Reddit and its communities are bearing the brunt of it so here's my today I messed up Reddit it's a big one and I'm still grappling with a Fallout but if there's one thing I know about this platform it's that we're a community we're in this together and we'll figure it out together I'm listening let's talk edit this is just a parody this is a parody my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined I was browsing Reddit while cooking food and I saw this post promptly put down the phone to finish the cooking and treat myself to this post that's going down in history while eating my meal and then it turned out to be satire my disappointment is immeasurable indeed my significant other called me in from the other room to excitedly tell me about the Reddit CEO doing a today I messed up post yay unexpected sanity I jump on Reddit and this what's really strange is that had this been real it may have actually worked why Reddit is protesting and doing the blackout by now you've probably heard a lot about the open letter about API pricing some of your favorite subreddits may have signed up to protest when we crossposted the letter plenty of people were confused about what API even is how this pricing would impact them and why it was worth talking about since then there have been a number of posts about this very subject all explaining better than we could subreddits like explain it like I'm five have done a great job of explaining it communities across Reddit are going dark also known as going private due to concerns about reddit's proposed change in Rel relationship to third party apps is our subreddit going dark too we share the frustrations of many other communities across Reddit regarding the new policy changes and we are also suspending normal operations to draw attention to the same issue to do this while also fulfilling our educational mission to users we're doing two things posting this sticky discussion post and starting on June 12th preventing new posts to the subreddit so what's this all about a thirdparty app is just another way that you can read and post a Reddit before Reddit had its own app for your phone there were other apps that let you read post and comment these apps use something called API reddit's API lets your computer or phone get posts and comments without having to use a web browser or the official app apps such as reddit is fun slide comment boost or yes Apollo then take what the API gives them and displays it apps like this allow you to customize your Reddit experience by changing a theme or changing how you upvote a post while those are just two very small examples you can begin to understand why people like these apps have you ever gotten mad at the Reddit app because it had bugs or it was just weird about how it did something right now and until July 1st you have the option to try out one of these apps and see if you like Reddit better this way after July 1st you won't have the option anymore if reddit's app has a bad bug and you can't read posts for half a day you will no longer be able to pull up a second option on your phone or a third option or a fourth I think you can see where this is going but here's the thing about it Reddit didn't tell all the apps that they can't get on Reddit anymore they set a price so high no app can afford it when one of the biggest apps asked why his price was going to be this high reddit's official reply was figure it out on your own thirdparty apps or tpas have been on Reddit for a decade Reddit gave them 30 days notice of the introduction of a pricing structure set so high no one can afford it Reddit has said that they don't want to shut down apps but their actions speak much louder than their words it's hard not to draw the conclusion they want them gone that is just not how you treat your friends every app developer has said they will have to shut their app down and the visually impaired on Reddit have said that they will close down their subs because the app on iOS doesn't allow them to even see Reddit so why should I care I use the official app well for one thing you might care one day but you won't have that option any longer because Reddit is removing user Choice people who love Reddit so much they seek out another app for it submit a lot of good posts to Reddit that you read what if these good posters all leave the site what if half of them leave are you cool with less content to upvote what if Reddit does something else like pump tons of ads at you way more than now and you want to try out one of those apps you saw when you first downloaded the official app you simply won't have the option anymore but even if you still don't care don't you think user choice is generally a good thing what will they get rid of next also the not safe for work content is in danger and can no longer be accessed to through the API which is going to make it harder to find spammers what can I do make a meme and post it make Tik toks contact admins tweet it fill up the front page about it on Reddit ask others to do the same Reddit needs to understand that decisions like this have long-term unintended consequences they can and should make money from third party apps that is reasonable but when you go from free for over a decade to a $20 million fee for one year with 30 days notice something's not right we will be moderating and approving comments on this thread as needed please ask any questions you have about the situation or any of your thoughts Reddit boy and I are way too smooth brained to understand what any of this stuff means true but we did think some of you might find it interesting you know you're smart enough to know what all that stuff means my daughter dropped out of college years ago but now she's 25 going back to school and demanding I pay her tuition my ex and I divorced 23 years ago because we disagreed a lot about priorities I'll just say right away that I worked maybe too much in the beginning of my marriage my career is very prestigious and I worked hard to get to where I am today anyway our daughter Cassie lived with my ex and stayed with me on the weekends I paid child support and I gave Cassie everything she could ever need or want newest clothes Electronics instruments trips you name it she had it as she got older I tried to teach her lessons about work ethic good education and a meaningful and lucrative career Cassie is brilliant and could go Ivy if she wanted to when she started applying for colleges her mother guilted her into remaining in state I didn't want her to settle but I liked the idea of saving a few grand 2 years in Cassie started to gradually drop out I say gradually because she went from 18 credits and on the Dean's List every semester to 12 credits then six and failing biology and math it just didn't make sense eventually she told me she couldn't do school anymore and just wanted to work and make her own money what teenager doesn't want a free ride with no cares I was paying for everything all she had to do was study after a screaming match we stopped communicating for a period of time then just last week she calls me out of the blue and tells me that she lives on her own now on the other side of the country she and my ex are no contact now she tells me that she's ready to go back to school but would need me to pay heck no I'm not an ATM and she's 25 now it's not really my responsibility anymore my wife thinks I'm the jerk and my daughter does too so just to summarize you threw money at your kid to avoid putting in time effort or care into raising her and you thought that made up for your lack of love you ditched her because she wanted to get a job and now you're complaining she didn't work hard enough in spite of her supporting herself for 5 years you think she should have completed her studies but you're not willing to help her do so unless the help required involves zero actual effort from you you think your parenting over the last 5 years was was adequate you simultaneously believe your daughter has her own mind and was influenced by her mother you're upset that your daughter treats you like an ATM when that's the only relationship you've troubled yourself to build with her thus far she's been raised to take your money and Li of love from you she reached out to rebuild the only connection she's ever had with you and you declined it news flash being a parent is never not your responsibility taking some financial responsibility for your 25-year-old is pretty common for parents who can afford to do so these days even if your legal requirement to pay has ended but in your case the money spent earlier was so far below the bare minimum parenting requirement to make you even halfway adequate during her childhood and early adulthood that your moral obligation to the stranger you should have been raising has not really ended you're the jerk you have had and missed plenty of opportunities to be a real parent time to step up and do what you can to fix this I think you're the jerk as well sounds like your ex was toxic towards her and she must have really struggled growing up and she couldn't handle College because she had a lot of issues you only saw your daughter on weekends and I'm guessing that with life and her becoming a teenager it wasn't every weekend how could you think you could have taught her anything with so little time while still giv her everything she wanted your daughter dropped out after 2 years so she was around 20 years old you stopped talking then and she's now 25 5 years without talking to your daughter weren't you worried didn't you care well who do you you think is the jerk op or his daughter please let us know I know we're going to lose tons of subscribers for this but I'm sorry I just don't feel like parents owe their kids a college education I never in a million years would have asked my parents to spend the huge amounts of money that these kids expect from their parents to go to college I just don't get it Reddit boy I just don't understand come on Karen haven't you spent enough time on Reddit to know that everything in life should be handed to us and we shouldn't have to work for anything oh I hate you so much Reddit boy am I the jerk for last ing out at my family for calling my fiance my second wife years ago I was married to a close friend we were roommates adopted a dog together and lived together since College until our mid to late 20s married at 24 and 25 however we were never actually romantically involved she was not interested in marriage and was also questioning herself at the time but her family was Ultra traditional and messy for many other reasons and kept pushing her to settle down I had just gotten out of a rough long-term relation ship and we kind of both just said oh well we basically were kind of living like a married couple let's get married for convenience so we did the paperwork for it but we never had a wedding we were also never romantically involved she was just not my type and I was not hers my family knew she wasn't my wife in the traditional sense they did heavily disapprove though when I started getting back into the dating scene we split up and legally divorced she remains one of my close friends to this very day and I care for her a lot it's been a few years and I'm now 32 with a lovely fiance who I can't wait to marry however ever since I announced the engagement my family has been making weird comments like oh so Roxy my dog is getting a new stepmom wife number two at 32 huh that's a lot of wives for your age let's hope this second one lasts it makes both me and my fiance uncomfortable I keep on saying that my close friend wasn't really my wife in the traditional sense but my family brushes me off by saying that just joking or she's technically my second wife anyway so it's not like they're wrong today at breakfast though I blew up at them and I called them disrespectful and rude for belittling my relationship my mom and my sister both said that if I didn't want to hear these statements I shouldn't have married my close friend I threatened to not invite them to the wedding and now things are super tense am I the jerk some edits from the comments I made to help answer some common questions why I married my close friend health insurance mostly but also because they kept holding her tuition over her head we were both in grad school at the time she was going for a PhD I was going for a master's but I had a job in an energy commission with some benefits they'd always tell her that they had stopped sending her money or some months when the arguing was bad not send her money at all they used money to punish her basically she had a lot of health issues at the time that she couldn't get help for like chronic pain and wisdom teeth that really needed to be removed alongside some other personal issues so getting married got them off her back about herself got her on my health insurance plan and got them to be more consistent on sending tuition money for her there were a few other reasons too like how they kept setting up potential arranged marriages for her or threatening to take her home to their country there was also a time where they threatened to have her committed to a mental health facility at the time she was also really reluctant on letting me help her Beyond minor things because she felt like it was something she had to repay so between us it also gave me an excuse to help her I'd be like hey it's what your spouse is supposed to do right even though we both agreed that our marriage was a farce I think it did something for her psychologically to accept that we had a legally binding relationship where I could help her I don't know it was complicated but it was something that worked for us I was able to pay for her treatment and let her use my money for herself she has now graduated and is financially stable to my knowledge she no longer speaks with most of her family she's doing amazing for herself and I'm so darn proud of her my fiance she knows about my past marriage and has no issue with it I met her through my close friend actually as a mutual of a mutual at the time I was already split for my close friend and she was initially confused me and my close friend both sat her down and we explained things as clearly as possible she understands why we did what we did my family I was always 100% transparent with my family on my marriage with my close friend my family understood that I went through a rough relationship before my marriage I think my mom's exact words at the time were I won't force you to do anything but I'm really disappointed that you take marriage so lightly they understood that I married my close friend to help her but I got the slight impression that they figured everything would sort itself out with our marriage like I would fall in love with her or something my aunts and uncles didn't say much else than that they were disappointed that they couldn't attend a real wedding when I met my fiance I told them how it was a big deal to me that it was my first genuine supportive romantic relationship in a long time at the time they all seemed happy for me and no comment like these came up they told me that they were glad I was able to find love again it was only when we announced the engagement that these comments started not the jerk I mean technically they are correct she is your second wife so I guess you are a slight jerk if I only look at the title however if their comments make you and your wife uncomfortable and you've asked them multiple times to stop but they're still doing it then they're the jerks for continuing not the jerk what's wrong with your family it's none of their business who you were married to before ESP especially when it wasn't even a romantic relationship calling your fiance your second wife is disrespectful and insensitive your blowup was justified and if they can't respect your boundaries they don't deserve to be at your wedding stick to your guns my dude you're the jerk married a friend out of convenience goodness that's the stupidest thing I've read today you have been married she will be your second wife you're the jerk it is in fact your second marriage so your current fiance will be your second wife facts are facts if you want to be salty about it that's on you but your family isn't being rude or disrespectful or belittling you need to get over yourself am I the jerk for telling my ex's new wife that she can't come with us on our son's college tours my son will be a senior in high school this fall and we've been touring colleges we toured a few this spring and plan to tour several out of state ones throughout the summer the plan was for myself my husband and his father to do the tours together we'll be touring four schools and he's coming to three of them some background my son's father and I split up before our son was 6 months old soon after our relationship ended I met my now husband and we got married when my son was three my ex has been supportive of our relationship and thinks my husband is a great stepfather our co-parenting relationship has been challenging at times but we've done just fine for the sake of our son last year my ex eloped with this woman Shelly not her real name they dated only for a year or so before getting married I don't know her too well since we've only met twice but I know she has three kids of her own her oldest is about the same age as my son my son dislikes her he thinks Shel is mentally unhinged is way too involved in his personal business and he blames her for being the reason he hasn't been able to spend as much quality time with his father lately earlier this week I was coordinating with my ex about the details of our next tour everything was great until he mentioned that Shelly would be coming along on all of our tours I asked why and if it was necessary that she tag along he said that she just wanted to be supportive I asked him if her daughter was looking at these schools too since she's also going to be a senior and he said no so why is she coming if her own kid isn't planning on attending these schools I told him that our son should get a say and who comes to the tours and that I would ask him what he thought about Shelly joining us after I got off the phone with my ex I asked our son if he wanted Shelly to come with us he immediately replied no and that he wasn't comfortable with her coming along I told our son that he should speak with his father and let him know about what he thinks fast forward to last night my ex calls and is furious that I would get our son involved in this matter I replied that our son is the one touring the colleges and making decisions about his future and he gets to decide who can come along not to mention our son is almost an adult and at his age is more than capable of deciding who he wants in his life and to what extent son has been vocal to his father about his feelings on Shelly he accepts that his father loves her but he doesn't see her as family so I told my ex that if he loves his son and wants to continue having a positive relationship with him then he needs to respect his wishes and leave his wife at home end of story ex replies that I'm a jerk Shelly cares about our son and that he should be allowed to bring his wife with him wherever he chooses was I The Jerk update first of all thanks for the validation and for the kind words I've read nearly everything I'd like to emphasize for anyone who may have missed it in my original post that my son has been the main one communicating his boundaries to his dad not me my son is 17 and more than capable of setting and enforcing his own boundaries also since some Express that it's hypocritical for my husband to be there but not Shelly let me reiterate that my son asked his stepdad to be there and ex is fine with him being there and it was never an issue in the first place there's also a lot more to the story behind why my son doesn't like Shelly that I couldn't explain in my original post if it was up to me I'd like him to get to know her better but I understand his reasons and I honor them I'm certainly not pitting him against her like some of you implied I talked to my son late last night about his father being upset with him not wanting Shelly to come along I told him that I fully respected his choice and reminded him that he can share this experience with whomever he wants I encouraged him to talk to his dad again explain his feelings about the situation and I let him know that I was happy to step in if he needs me I also added that if he ultimately decided that he wanted to go on these tours alone or with just one parent to avoid drama which I communicated might be the best option but that's just my opinion and he doesn't need to consider it if he doesn't want to then that would be okay too it's his tour and his decisions so he called his dad this morning and calmly told him that he didn't want Shelly coming along on any of the tours and explained his reasons which mainly included needing time with his dad Sans Shelly and him not wanting an Entourage accompanying him on his tours five is a crowd dad I laughed when I heard that this time my ex was more receptive and told our son that he respected his feelings but then he put son on the spot and told him that he should talk to shell directly about her not coming he was not comfortable with that and requested that I step in and talk to both his dad and Shelly so I got on the phone and repeated that this was our son's decision I didn't say anything about son disliking Shelly or feeling uncomfortable with her because that was besides the point shell was clearly disappointed and said she understood and only wanted an opportunity to bond with her new stepson I replied that it was sweet of her to want to get to know him better but a college tour isn't the time nor place overall she seemed to be okay with it we spoke for another minute or two and then she left the conversation and I talked to X for a little while I reiterated to him that ever since Shelly came into the picture our son feels like he doesn't get as much quality time with his dad anymore because either she's there during their entire time together or he's busy being a stepfather to her kids son doesn't have an issue with his stepsiblings but also I want to make sure ex makes time for his own kid I also explained to him that if Shelly not coming along was going to be this big of a deal to him then he shouldn't come either he said he understood where I was coming from and apologized for calling me a jerk I asked him if it was Shelly who was pushing this issue or if it was him based on his response I got the sense that Shelly expressed an interest in going was okay not going if that was really son's decision but my ex just really wants her to feel more like a part of his family so it's a mix of him appeasing her but also wanting his son to get to know her better so I gave him two choices either he comes without shell and uses those opportunities to have special time with his son or he doesn't come to the tours and we find a weekend for him and son to spend one-on-one time but either way shell isn't going to be there because our son isn't interested in a relationship with her right now and he shouldn't force it on to him he said he'd think about his choices so all good there I hope he decides to leave Shelly at home and come to whatever tours he can because I know how important it is to our son not the jerk your son is the only person who gets any say here not the jerk if your ex is more concerned about Shell's feelings than his own son's then maybe he should stay home with her you're the jerk neither you nor your son get to dictate who goes on the tours your husband is going so his wife should be allowed to go especially since both of you have been paying into the fund that will be paying for his tuition the only reason that you've given for your son not liking his stepmother is because she wants to be involved in his life and now that they've gotten married he has less one one time with his dad that's what happens when people get married I'm sure your son has less time with you one-on-one than if you were single the only reason he resents her more than your husband is because your husband has been around since he was a kid you should be encouraging your son to give her a chance instead of pitting him against her and riing things up you're the jerk you don't get to tell your ex what he does or dictate how his new wife behaves she wants to come maybe she's trying to be involved that's wonderful I get that your son feels the way he does if he isn't SA saying that to his father then Empower him to say the words he needs to say you're being the gatekeeper you're doing your son's work stop parenting this way let your son's experience be reality and if he can't advocate for himself he needs to learn in small doses signed kid of a mother who never gave me the tools to Advocate my feelings to my father am I the jerk for not babysitting my ex-husband's kid I'm 30 female my ex-husband who's 32 and I have two kids who are 4 and two we've been divorced just about 6 months and he's now expecting a baby with his new girlfriend I'm admittedly not over him we were together for 10 years my entire adulthood it was and is still a messy split I'm still bitter and hurt about it and he seems to have completely moved on somehow when we had our oldest neither of us wanted him in daycare no judgment we just didn't feel comfortable so I stayed home and eventually started my own business that allows me to work 99% remotely my parents are also local and retired and help me out as much as they can this Arrangement works for me and I get to spend time with both of my kids now ex's girlfriend is 5 months pregnant and they got in a huge fight because she asked him to tour her daycares and he said absolutely not he wants her to stay home with the baby none of his kids are to go in daycare admittedly the ones here do suck he called me to vent and I listened then he dropped the bomb he asked if I would be willing to take care of their baby since I'm home with R2 and get help from my parents and when I have to take the kids to the office I can because I own it he mentioned that I knew how he feels about his kids being in a daycare and I sort of lost it on him it was a year and a half of Walled up anger and hurt and I said some nasty things that I've since apologized for fast forward to 3 Days Later new girlfriend pulled me to the side when I dropped off my kids to their house and asked why I was so ugly about it and why I thought my kids were better than hers and why her baby doesn't deserve the same things mine got I never said that but I apologized if anything I said came off like that I told her I'm happy for them I'm not but pleasantries but I was certainly not going to babysit their kid she's a nurse so I get that she can't work from home and doesn't want to give up her career but they should have thought about that I left before it blew up again but ex called me about 2 hours later and asked me to come get the kids because he and new girlfriend were fighting and he didn't want them around for it I picked them up of course an ex texted me on the drive home and asked asked again if I would babysit for them for $200 a week I said no and he called me a bitter jerk and said I'm being a jerk because I'm hurt I don't see it this way at all I reiterated that the request is absurd and I would not be talking about it anymore this was yesterday and all day today new girlfriend has been texting me and having her friends and family review bomb my business I'm not worried about it my clients know my work ex-husband hasn't said anything else but has been shorter with me in our conversation ations about our kids so am I the jerk for refusing to keep my ex-husband's new baby edit SL update a few of the repeat things I've seen addressed below it looks like Google has flagged the influx of reviews for spam and I did call my lawyer to see what she recommends going forward Yes my ex was cheating with his girlfriend for some time before we divorced I don't know how long exactly and I don't think I want to know I'm also a licensed professional so going against her nursing license is a Surefire way to make this worse lawyer will advise on how to proceed second and probably final update for now Google is removing the reviews wackadoodle and her idiot family all have the same last name so it was pretty easy to see the reviews weren't genuine the ones from her friends with different names were removed too because again it was poorly executed at best X has apologized for her behavior and apparently he is taking some time away and she thought he was with me I have no idea where he went after he left my house Tuesday night when the kids went to sleep he certainly is not staying here we have only spoken to confirm pickup and swimming lessons today my parents have already planned to have the kids this weekend ex has a graduation to go to and I'm going to the beach with my friends so I don't have to worry about where they're going since ex is effectively homeless right now not the jerk you are never obligated to take care of someone else's kid also if you haven't already provided services to her and her friends and family send a cease and assist letter it can be defamation am I the jerk for refusing to help my parents unless they pay me upfront my brother is a lawyer and whenever he does work for my parents they pay him and act very proud that he went to law school and made something of himself I'm a plumber I don't really enjoy school or basking in the glow of my younger brother so I got an apprenticeship right out of high school and now I have my own company whenever my parents call me for help I pop over and fix whatever they have going on and then I might stick around for a bit to catch up up with them lately though they've been kind of jerks my nephew is going to college this fall and he's probably going to become a lawyer as well I'm proud of him he's a good kid who's worked his butt off to get to where he is my parents however have decided that they need to push my kids to be successful unlike me they were over a few weeks ago and they were bugging my daughter about where she was going to study After High School and what she wanted to be she said she wanted to go to school to be a Vette Tech that wasn't good enough she should go to university and become a veterinarian they just kept pushing even after she explained her reasoning it kind of ticked me off so we had some flooding in our area last week and my parents needed some emergency help I was busy because a lot of people needed emergency help so I said no they said I was being a jerk not helping them out and that my brother always made time for them so I said that my emergency fee was this amount and that as soon as they paid that I would be right over they hung up on me obviously every other plumber in the area was busy and my fee was actually still a friends and family deal so after calling around they found out that they would be on a waight list for days and pay more so they paid my fee and I went over and fixed the problem they have been mad ever since but I pointed out that I was a successful businessman and that like my brother I expected to be paid for my work not the jerk people who don't respect trades are baffling to me it sounds as if they don't really know what your work is worth they they were long overdue a rude awakening on that you might need another difficult conversation with them about Golden Child and scapegoat Dynamics and how you're not going to let that Dynamic happen with your daughter not the jerk if they can pay the lawyer for his time they can pay the plumber too and the next time they push your kids you should say in this house we encourage our kids to be what they want to be and not someone else's idea of what is successful P.S I've needed and hired a plumber a lot more times in my life than I have a lawyer so who's really the successful one am I the jerk for making my husband take the day off with our sick kid instead of me kiddo came home with pink eye last night husband didn't notice when he picked her up but by the time I got home it was obvious I immediately went and got her the required drops to clear it up per our health unit rules she has to have been on drops for 24 hours and have no IG goop before returning to school so someone has to stay home today at best she returns tomorrow we asked everyone six different family and friends no one is available so one of us has to stay home here are the facts I work in healthcare I have a full schedule of patients today I'm only in this Clinic once a week so rescheduling my day is challenging there is no one to cover these patients would have to wait at least another week to see me he works in a warehouse and delivers building material for contractors Builders and homeowners there are deliveries scheduled but he didn't say anything was urgent I have sick days and personal days remaining he does not get sick days but could move a vacation day I'm salaried and I'm the bread winner he works hourly and will lose a day's pay but he is working an extra day this week so it will balance out he will however lose the extra day and the overtime I've already said that I will stay home tomorrow if needed even though it would mean rescheduling a bunch more patients but it's a clinic I'm in four days a week so rescheduling is a lot easier am I the jerk for making him take the day off unpaid missing info he assumed I would volunteer to take the day off and he's upset about having to take the day off there is also an underlying element of the mother being the default parent here that I'm constantly up against he's mad about missing out on overtime I've already committed to taking tomorrow off and I have already taken two other days off when kiddo was sick he has not not the jerk and also yours seems more complicated to change and you're the bread winner also both of you are the parents so not the jerk he's a parent first and has less urgent work to be done he should stay home for the day am I the jerk for not inviting my parents or sister to my graduation because I didn't want to deal with the disappointment my parents have always put my sister Cassie first Cassie did need extra support as she does have genuine issues with depression and anxiety but they refused to compromise it always came at my expense the final straw was my high school graduation back in 2019 Cassie had a pageant at the same time the plan was for both of my parents to attend the first half of cass's pageant our mother would stay at Cassie's pageant and our dad would leave to attend and record my graduation before Dad was about to leave Cassie said she was having anxiety and needed them both there he texted me to find my own ride home from graduation I had been hoping that my parents would finally follow through with their promise to be there for me in the honors sector class photo I was the only student who didn't have any family members come I felt awful my mother dad and Cassie were already home when I got back they had ordered dinner and were celebrating Cassie's pageant they didn't even seem to remember or care about me in my graduation my parents tried to act friendly and congratulate me but I just ignored them my mother tried hugging me but I pushed past her I decided then that I just couldn't depend on them not to disappoint me my graduation was 3 weeks ago I didn't even bother reaching out to my mother dad or Cassie I gave my ceremony tickets to two friends and donated the rest my mother and dad reached out to me saying that they just learned about my ceremony through social media neither of them went to college so they assumed that the college got out at the same time as the local high schools they asked why I hadn't even asked them I told them that they've proven that I can't depend on them by always leaving me as a second thought to Cassie I know she has issues and needs extra support but they never even tried to compromise and I didn't want to deal with the disappointment again my my parents told me that they and Cassie were heartbroken that their daughter SLS sister would disregard them this way we do have other family members who my parents are much closer with after lockdown we were not really involved with each other before which is why they weren't at my graduation and why we didn't go to their kids graduations they know both sides of the story but told me I was a jerk they said how my parents felt so bad about high school graduation and that I was being selfish and denied my parents the chance to make it right and finally be able to put their guilt behind them I switched my social media to private to avoid these comments but now I'm worried that they're right and that I've been selfish and not understanding of Cassie's needs am I the jerk absolutely 100% not the jerk not even close like not even a bit why would you trust people who have consistently let you down and failed to celebrate your achievements even if your sister was genuinely having an anxiety attack and your Dad decided to stay with her why didn't they Rush from her pageant to pick you up after graduation why did they celebrate her pageant I'm sure it wasn't the only one why not wait for you why assume that college ended the same time as high school why did it not even cross their minds to think op's graduating college this year I wonder when it is why did it take seeing something on social media to make them Reach Out they aren't heartbroken at all they're guilt-ridden I can only assume that they didn't have the excuse of Cassie having an event to cover for them and they're getting questions from other family members and they're rapidly doing damage control and trying to pin you as the bad guy am I the jerk for blocking your go-to time waster from June 12th to June 14th for those who have been following along you know we've been watching the situation closely and engaging Reddit through any Avenue available and the hopes to alleviate our concerns and see a potential path forward one that recognizes that Reddit is ultimately a for-profit entity but still has a community of users to serve while we appreciate that some of you are disappointed we didn't jump on the bandwagon early on we have been careful to ensure we fully understand what we're protesting to what extent Reddit plans to come to the table and how they stack up to Industry best practice around communication and Community Management I know a lot of you have clocked some years in the corporate world as a large sub we've had an ongoing relationship with the admins admins are not Executives and many of the folks having to deliver the unpopular messages lately are not making the decisions they're not seet some may even feel the same way you do about these changes and a Time time where Tech layoffs are at a high and many are just hoping to keep a roof over their head please do try to keep your cool and keep feedback respectful and actionable even if passionate and at times downright angry Karen is trying to sell my family heirloom I'm 26 female my dad passed a couple of months ago he and my mother were divorced and his second wife passed a couple of years ago so I was the sole beneficiary of his will among his possessions was a painting which was chosen by his late wife to decorate their marital home it was something of a wedding celebration present his wife didn't work my father bought the painting the paperwork was all in his name Etc so it was included as part of his estate his late wife had a daughter Ellie who was 27 female Ellie contacted me some time ago asking if there was any way I would consider letting her have the painting since her mother loved it so much and it had sentimental value to her I was a little suspicious at this because if this was the case surely she would have asked my father for it after her mother's passing but nevertheless I considered it the piece is worth by most standards a lot of money as it's beautiful so I wasn't pleased to part with it but since I never planned to sell it and it was not a piece that held any special significance to me among my father's collection I decided I would gift it to her I let her know I would make the arrangements to have it shipped and straightened out all the paperwork about a week ago I get a call from a friend of mine who works at the gallery where my father purchased a lot of his art she was was his dealer this is how we became friends she let me know that Ellie had contacted her looking for evaluation and information on selling the artwork that I was going to give her my friend called me because she didn't know who Ellie was but she knew the piece belonged to my father as it's one of a kind so she was concerned about someone trying to fence it this made me feel like a complete idiot because I thought I was gifting Ellie which she considered a piece of her mother to essentially gifting her a large sum of money got by subterfuge I called to ask her what was going on and she reluctantly confirmed that she was planning to sell it I said I wouldn't feel good about giving her one of my father's possessions just so she can sell it especially after being lied to and she said that was none of my business and I should still give it to her anyway since that money would mean more to her than the painting ever had to me everyone I've asked for advice on what to do has some skin in the game so to speak so I just want an outside opinion am I the jerk for not giving her the painting edit everyone's asking if Ellie got any inheritance from her mother she received her mother's small life insurance policy and all her mother's personal belongings not the jerk she wanted to sell something that was super valuable in your family and try to hide it absolutely not definitely stick with not giving her the painting not the jerk she lied to you and she just wants the money if your father wanted her to inherit anything he would have structured his estate accordingly not the jerk and she totally is if she needs money she should have just asked for it not a run and con on her own family if someone betrayed my trust like that I wouldn't give them anything am I the jerk for asking my girlfriend to make my plate of food differently than she was serving everyone else's so I recently became official with a lady I've been dating for 6 months we decided to have the first barbecue of the nice summer weather in our area at her place we don't live together currently barbecue she decided to make steaks and baked potatoes and I made some side salads and I was also responsible for the drinks and the chips as my girlfriend got to cooking it just panned out that she ended up plating and serving to people as her steaks finished resting when I went over to watch her plating I noticed she had put butter and herbs and stuff all over the steaks my family doesn't do this and I've never seen it done this way so I asked her politely if she would just put mine aside and I would do my own fixings I just wanted my steak with ketchup I'm pretty plain both she her sister and her dad gave me very pointed looks later that evening she said she felt that it was rude to the chef her in this instance to ask for my food separately and that she wished I would have just trusted her to make me a nice plate of food and that I shouldn't do that when I'm a guest somewhere I pretty commonly politely ask for my food to be made differently or more plain when I'm a guest somewhere or at a restaurant because I generally prefer plain food I don't think this was rude am I the jerk for asking for my own food to be served differently outside my own home I'm not going to say you're you're the jerk but you're dangerously hovering she was literally just flavoring the meat and it wouldn't have hurt at all to try it it could have been Leaps and Bounds better than putting ketchup on it not the jerk but you should have tried it please as an adult 25-year-old man expand your pallet I promise things taste better with seasoning and not just ketchup please I disagree I'm just going to say this once leave adults alone about their food preferences I have 50 years of frustration at being looked down on for being a picky eater when the tastes of certain foods are just downright unpleasant to me and yes I've tried it I promise I've tried almost everything multiple times it still tastes horrible to me I cannot be more passionate about what I'm saying people get to have their preference and as long as they don't expect others to go out of their way to accommodate them they're fine and no asking his girlfriend to not put seasoning on it is not asking her to go out of her way not the jerk but herbs and butter is a pretty common way way of treating Stakes you weren't in the wrong here and your girlfriend handled herself poorly but this could have been an opportunity to Branch out a little worst case it's one meal that you didn't love you're the jerk for putting ketchup on steak well who do you think is the jerk op or his girlfriend please let us know if Reddit boy even dared to ask me to leave something off of his steak I'd be like sir you got it babe am I the jerk for not feeding my husband because he caused me to have an allergic reaction he technically didn't cause an allergic reaction but he pushed me into it I 26 female am allergic to a plant that lives in the state my husband and I have moved to we aren't sure which plant yet but we're narrowing it down kind of my doctor has told me to not do any housework whatsoever because I have an allergic reaction every time full body rash and swollen joints for like a week wearing gloves and protective clothes has not helped my doctor has told me to not do any yard work whatsoever because I have an allergic reaction every time full body rash and swollen joints for like a week wearing gloves and protective clothes has not helped my husband knows all of this yesterday he mowed and pressured me into helping him rake up grass and weeds I didn't want to and I mentioned that I could have an allergic reaction but he said that he needed help and that I would be fine against my better judgment I thought that if I just ra and didn't physically touch anything I would be fine I didn't want to refuse him when he insisted today I have a rash all over and a lot of swelling and I feel horrible I normally meal prep for the next week on Sundays this morning I barely threw some salads and tupperware for next week and called it a day I eat a lot of easy stuff that doesn't require cooking so it's fine my husband on the other hand eats like 15 lbs of meat a week as well as vegetables and sides it usually takes me hours to cook his food and it's very draining I told him he needs to cook his food for the next week because I'm too tired and my skin feels awful he got mad and said he' just eat take out since he wants to relax on his last day off so now I have to freeze all the meat so it doesn't go to waste he only Cooks once or twice a year he thinks it's not fair for me to not feed him since I agreed to rake and it isn't his fault I had an allergic reaction I'm not trying to punish him but I'm really suffering right now and I just don't have it in me I also do think it wasn't fair for him to pressure me into doing something he knows I medically shouldn't do am I the jerk for not feeding my husband edit dang you guys really hate my husband he's actually a pretty decent guy I think this post just portrayed him in a bad light he works 80 hours a week to support me while I go to school and he still manages to do at least half of the cleaning I talked to him and he said his back was just hurting and he was stressed out from work and he wasn't thinking he apologized and brought me dinner while I laid on the couch I'm not doing his meal prep this week because I really just can't but we both came to terms with it he'll feed himself and I'll try to manage my skin as best as I can it looks awful and feels worse he's not a lazy guy he works hard to make things up in other areas he just hates cooking which to be fair I hated yard work even before we move to this crappy state where I'm allergic to everything not the jerk he knows you're trying to figure out what you're allergic to you had a medical reason to not do the raking he should not have bullied you into helping with the raking you have the horrible consequences of helping and he's now experiencing the inconvenient easy consequence of not having you prep his meals for the week I'm so angry that he expects you to cook when you don't feel well he is choosing not to cook please do not feel guilty that you are not up to feeding him he's a grown man I hope you can treat yourself to something nice when this latest allergy attack is over please don't help next time you may have an allergy attack that's even worse next time you need to move back to whatever safe State you came from your husband and his food can rot he technically did cause you to have an allergic reaction he pressured you into going outside and doing yard work when you have no idea what sets you off but he knows something out there does and he just doesn't care and now he's whining that you won't cook for him oh my God not the jerk please please please rethink this relationship he insisted you put your health at risk and then blamed you for risking your health and convinced you it's your fault and he shouldn't have to take responsibility for the choices he pressured you into this is a form of mistreatment and you're falling for it hookline and sinker people like him don't improve they only get worse are you able to move out and away from him have you got family or friends you can stay with please if you can speak to your doctor at your next appointment and tell them how you are being treated at home you guys are unbelievable the husband works 80 hours a week she doesn't work maybe he just had a bad day or something all of you saying that she should leave him are literally unbelievable chill out am I the jerk for confronting my husband about his sudden changes around the house I 40 female have a habit of taking my two kids who are 8 and 10 to visit my family in a suburban area close to the city we live in during the one we break they get at the end of their first semester each year at school we've been doing that for as long as I can remember this all started 3 years ago when my kids and I came back from my families my husband insisted he had a surprise for me and that I would absolutely love it once I entered our living room I discovered he had painted the walls a hideous shade of pink almost Peach but still mildly striking I hated it for context we own a house far away from the city center to which we go to during weekends and in which I gave him full Liberty to do his arts and crafts considering how much he loves doing these things the apartment I came back to though is closer to our jobs and the kidss schools so we stay there during the week I acted as if I liked the change and that it's refreshing to the living room that I had previously decorated and muted in monochromatic colors but that these kinds of decisions should have been discussed prior he agreed and we moved on the next year however while driving back home from my parents my husband called and informed me that he had yet another surprise for the kids and I and that it involved our balcony I loved our balcony it was my safe space I kept plants in there and spent all of my alone time in it and so I was irritated at the thought of it changing without my knowledge my husband decided to remove the Demi wall I hung my plants on and replaced it with a green metal grid and put plexiglass on the top area so the balcony was completely closed now he also dis osed of all of my plants that I've grown particularly fond of I was livid to say the least but kept it together in front of the kids and just went to bed since I was already tired I figured I could just get new plants and not make a big deal out of the situation since my husband seemed happy about it the next morning at breakfast a silly argument started between us and my husband started stating all the things I do that he hates and so I blew up and I told him every single refreshment he had done is hideous to me and that he has no taste in home decor and should stop believing he does he got mad stormed off and is now giving me the silent treatment am I the jerk for saying what was on my mind not the jerk okay the paint colors were one thing you don't agree on paint colors but you're willing to put up with it he disposed of your entire plant collection without talking to you what on Earth he threw away living things that you maintain not the jerk your husband definitely shouldn't have thrown away your plans if he knows the balcony is your space then yeah he should have talked to you before he did anything he should have talked to you about changes before he tried to do any the house is owned by both of you so I do believe a discussion should have happened before he did anything my husband had to kick out his physical therapist's co-workers tonight my husband works as a server in a restaurant that is for some reason very popular with the local medical professionals this restaurant in bar has a reputation of being the place that tends to have a lot of fights and the police called on people I don't like love that he works there but that's a different story his managers asked him to kick some people out the managers had already asked the people to leave and they refused so they asked my husband because he's a man and how larer build my husband went up to them to ask them to leave again and the managers were calling the cops while he did this someone at the table said hey don't you have physical therapy at our facility my husband was like uh and then someone else spoke up yeah you work with this physical therapist then they introduced him to their new medical director my husband then texted me to complain about how incredibly unprofessional it was for them to bring it up as the cops are actively being called and they're being evicted I can't stop laughing because it's just my husband's luck and we've had some terrible luck recently now I'm sitting here wondering if we need to find him a new physical therapist as I type this out edit I spoke with my husband he doesn't want to report nor does he want to change therapists only so much I can argue with him about edit too wow the Reddit armchair lawyers come out in hordes I didn't expect this to blow up I hope all of the judgmental people in the comments never have to worry about multiple medical issues and injuries popping up at the same time I hope you don't have to worry about keeping a roof over your head because you have thousands of dollars in medical bills I understand this was a violation of patient doctor confidentiality but me and my husband have more things to worry about at this moment than reporting these people at this moment it is not an option to try and find a new provider as this would cause a huge delay in medical treatment if this was a perfect world I would report it myself but it's not a perfect world I've read through the comments and I just want to throw out my two cents I'm not a server but I am a therapist and I know for a fact that any medical professional acknowledging a patient in public and revealing that the person receives Medical Care from their facility like them saying Oh you get physical therapy from this facility is a violation of his patient's rights and doctor patient confidentiality if if your husband felt so inclined he could contact your State's regulatory board and make a complaint that's a breach of Dr patient confidentiality report report report it's appalling before you even take into consideration the fact that they were behaving so badly they had to be kicked out I agree reported I'd have a private word with the new medical director they broke federal law hippo violation anyone definitely report I guess it's just me but I would have been laughing with them about it yeah sorry I have to kick you guys out see you at my next appointment am I the jerk for not making pancakes so my wife is constantly changing something and I don't like it whether it's the way I cook or the plans I make for example over the past few years I've had enough when she starts changing plans or meals I shut down and walk away from her letting her finish cooking or whatever tasks she thinks she's better at sometimes she ends up messing it up and I have to fix it later or she simply doesn't follow my plan or her own well that brings us to yesterday the night before I mentioned to my son that it was Pancake Day and he got excited as he always does on Friday nights before bed we have a little song and dance routine and then we head to bed yesterday morning when I went to get things ready she asked what I was doing I told her it was Pancake Day and she got upset and said we have fruit I said okay let's have fruit with the pancakes just chop it up she said no we didn't need pancakes and we should just eat the fruit because it was going to go bad I was confused because we had already finished the strawberries and raspberries for breakfast with our oatmeal on Friday the only things left were a mango and a peach she got upset saying I was wasting food I poured my cup of coffee and went to the living room about 30 minutes later my son woke up and flipped out when he realized it wasn't Pancake Day anymore my wife said you know what cook it I replied no I don't feel like it you make them she said she didn't know how to to make them as well as I do and got upset because our toddler was throwing a tantrum for pancakes I told her I was tired of her constantly changing things and then changing them back when it no longer benefited her I also mentioned that she could deal with our son's disappointment in the end she toasted a bagel for him oh man that poor kid she's still upset that I didn't cook pancakes for my son but I reminded her that she could have made them herself but refused to I also told her that she should have explained the situation to our son and I'm tired of her plans changing and affecting me and then making me look bad when I refuse to help her after her choices so you punished your son by withholding something you knew he was excited about and that he was expecting from you because you were annoyed at your wife your wife was nitpicking and arguing not to give your son something he had been promised the night before because she thought there was too much left over fruit everyone sucks here you and your wife need to pull it together and not let your disagreements spill onto your kids you each independently owe your son a serious apology and if you're looking for advice it seems pretty clear that your strategy of passive aggressive walking away isn't working I don't care whether you have a serious conversation with her set some boundaries divvy up the tasks differently get counseling Etc but this is clearly not a viable solution and your kids are paying the price not the jerk this isn't about pancakes it's about things going on in your marriage which need to be dealt with and resolved good luck everyone sucks here this is just a big Power struggle for control who's going to be in charge you're meant to be on the same team and working together you and your wife can't communicate like adults so your kid is getting punished she makes a change and you walk away what exactly was going to happen if you made pancakes it was breakfast and y'all turned it into way too much drama you're both creating problems no one seems interested in actually solving the problems just trying to teach lessons and be in charge it's totally unnecessary you're both adults the problem was not that challenging to resolve so far the way you're both managing this problem hasn't worked perhaps it's time to do something different HR Karen insists on changing our relax dress code at my job big mistake howdy you folks this one took place closing in on six years ago the bosses at the time were usually very cool and easy to get along with however some Karen got into HR and insisted on changing the work culture to suit her desires and vision she rewrote the dress code and overnight instead of being allowed to show up dressed comfortably as long as it wasn't dirty smelly or full of holes Tech Support Center we suddenly had to dress business professional she even specified the materials the clothing could be made out of she tried firing almost everyone there for violating dress code before a manager one I still love to this day told her to calm herself because she had not only not published the dress code it hadn't been approved by management HR Karen gets upset and pulls strings to get get it approved in a couple of days so in those couple of days I was reading through the dress code trying to see what I could do to make her regret it the dress code word for word clothing is to be made of Woolen materials only unless a specific exception is made below allowable clothing is listed as business suits buttonup dress shirts monocolor ties leather shoes skirts and blouses if wearing a skirt or blouse silk materials are accepted of note the silk exception was put in solely for her as she claimed that wool gave her hives anyway the air conditioning had been out for weeks and we had been getting by in the building with big fans and wearing light shorts and shirts it was a hot summer so I searched for a loophole in the new dress code I'm sure you can already see what loophole I found and exploited note despite having lost a lot of weight since then I am still a hefty very hairy man over 200 lb lost since then with a very long beard so day one of the new dress code on the way to work I stopped in at a local Goodwill I bought the most garish skirt I could find that I could squeeze in with the most feminine blouse I could find I paid for them and got dressed at a gas station just down the street for the work location I wal into work with lots of stairs coming my way however I was the only man on the floor not sitting in a pool of his own sweat skirts are surprisingly Breezy less than 30 minutes in everyone in the building can hear HR Karen screaming at and about about me as she runs up to my desk and demands I go to her office for disciplinary action I tell her I cannot do that as company policy states that disciplinary action can only be undertaken by the employees team lead and the site manager not HR she then screams at both of them to force me into her office they both give me the stink eye but I give them a thumbs up and a big grin and say please please please make me go into her airconditioned office that I also mentioned she had the only working air conditioner on site so the four of us trudged to her office with me grinning earto ear myself and many co-workers laughing at this large hairy heavily bearded man in a silk skirt walking past everyone all because I and they know how ridiculous I look and how they know I only pulled stunts at work like this when I am 100% in the right so we get to HR Karen's office and I sit down she tells me I'm going to be fired for insubordination anding freaking dress code I laugh in her face and tell her terminations can only be processed upon agreement by the team lead of the employee site management and HR you are the one that insisted upon and wrote that rule unless they both agree you are lying and can shut up she was screaming at the top of her lungs at this point she said it was harassment for me a big hairy guy to be dressed like this oh can you point out in the dress code where I can't wear a skirt as soon as I said that my team lead sudden suddenly lit up and started giggling as she knew where I was taking this Karen got out a written copy of the dress code and then started sputtering and stammering as she read it word for word as I typed it above as she started screaming at me again for being inappropriate the site manager looked at her and said do you really want to get fired for harassment he has you caught in a ring or over a barrel of fire and it would cost us potentially Millions strangely enough the dress code was rescinded before the end of the day and we were allowed to go back to the way we had been dressing as an extra she's no longer with the company and has been gone for years now she made blunder after blunder usually screaming at me and my bosses but I always pointed her at the policy she made and got approved as I was following them to the letter am I the jerk for returning the money my husband took from my family for attending our cookout for context I'm female 28 and my husband who's 33 comes from a wealthy family and he himself has inherited a number of assets from his relativ one of them is this huge house where we live right now with a pool and a huge backyard with lots of features we decided to host our first cookout after we got married 7 months ago and we invited both his and my family that was on Friday both families came and we had lots of fun and then everyone went home later I then got a phone call from my mom and she didn't sound okay she asked whether or not my husband took money from his family before they attended the cookout I was confused I asked what she was talking about and she told me that my husband charged every single person from my side of the family who attended the event $25 I was utterly shocked and very angry and I felt like this has legitimately damaged my relationship with most of my family because almost all of them came over not only that but he got $275 from them I was so livid I hung up the phone and confronted him immediately he told me my family got to enjoy the space and View and said that I should think think of it as a resort cookout since this house has lots of luxuries I told him it was a horrible thing for him to do and that what made it worse is the fact that his family didn't have to pay like mine had to he laughed and then reminded me that his family gave him this house I demanded he give the money back but he said no and that he won't even give it to me since the house is technically his I went and took the money and gave everyone who paid their money back with a sincere apology from me my husband found out and flipped out at me calling what I did an overstepping and disrespectful I told him he shouldn't have taken money from my family for being guests at our house but he said it's his house and said that he had bet my family has never got to attend a cookout at a house like this and that it was just $25 but I disrespected him and went behind his back and took the money that wasn't mine we stopped talking after this argument and he keeps venting to his mom about me taking his money that he earned his own way your husband sounds like the world's biggest jerk needless to say not the jerk your husband's reasoning makes no sense who charges people let alone family to come to their house and have a party rich people you don't get rich and definitely don't stay Rich by being a nice person I worked in financing for a few years and often would speak to clients who were wealthy I learned pretty quickly that there were two kinds of millionaires nice rich people and jerks many of the kindest people I talked to in those years were our wealthiest clients I suspect that many of them became wealthy because people wanted to engage with them patronize their businesses and hire them because they were nice people there were also definitely clients who inherited wealth and displayed an astonishing amount of entitlement there were also plenty of clients who would get incredibly nasty about accounts that were worth very little those were the jerks money doesn't change who you are it amplifies who you are I spent decades working in the banking industry I found that many people got rich because they found a way to hang hang on to every single penny funny you should say this when I got into the hotel business way back when it never ceased to amaze me how unbelievably cheap rich people could be I was venting to my dad about this once he laughed and said how do you think they got rich am I the jerk for leaving my fiance at the mall after he insisted that I buy him a $350 watch me female 32 and my fiance male 30 Aaron have been together for 2 years I have a high-paying job and I work long hours he has used to have a 3-we shift at a job that pays about five times less than mine we're on pretty great terms on everything except money he's a big spender and spends so much on fancy stuff although his job does not give him this luxury he constantly likes and wants new stuff like watches gadgets electronics and car accessories and I do my best to use every occasion like Christmas and birthdays and New Years to get him the things that he wants lately and after he lost his job I've been noticing him tagging along whenever I go shopping then have me buy him expensive stuff right then and there I end up paying to avoid causing a scene in public because he'd beg me then start throwing a fit if I refuse I talked to him about it since it seemed like a pattern but he said he just happened to see something he liked and thought I could pay for it I told him that I no longer feel comfortable with this and that next time he tries to put me on the spot then have me pay for something that he likes and throws a tantrum if I refuse then I'd walk out and I'd leave him there he crossed his heart and said he'd never do such a thing on Wednesday we went to the mall to get a Father's Day gift for my dad and we walked by the accessory store Aaron told me to stop and follow him as he entered the store I knew this wasn't going to go well because he repeatedly tried on this watch that was worth over $350 and expressed his admiration for it he then asked if I could pay for it but I said no and lied about having only $300 for my dad's gift which is why why we were there in the first place he started going on and on about how cool and catch the watch was then asked if my dad was more important than him I looked around and saw people looking at us as he started raising his voice I told him to knock it off but he refused and insisted i' pay for it I just turned around and walked out of the store and out of the mall I got in my car and went home he started calling me non-stop but we didn't talk until he got home he blew up saying I acted ridiculously and self L after he begged me and I refused he said that I then made a joke out of him by walking out and leaving him at the mall I told him of what I said would happen if he decided to put me in this position again he argued that all he was asking for was just $350 and even showed me a small notebook saying he's been writing down everything I pay for so he could pay me back but I was too selfish to even consider it he yelled at me about this then went out to meet his friends his best friend tried to get involved by shaming me for how I behaved D at the mall and hinting that what I was doing was borderline Financial control am I the jerk should I have just paid for the watch edit he said he was going to pay me back but didn't tell me this at the mall don't know if it changes anything since he has no money honey please don't marry this man please don't he will absolutely ruin your finances if not your life but let's be generous and forget the money stuff for a second focused on how comfortable he is with yelling at you in public he either has a terrible temper or he knows he can manipulate you by causing a scene either way that's horrific and not something you want to suffer for the next 50ish years getting his friend in on it too is sickening I'm also 32 with a 30-year-old fiance and he has never ever raised his voice to me in public because that's not how you treat someone you love your guy is using you at worst and a spoiled baby at best you deserve better and to keep your hard-earned money my girlfriend of seven years asked for a break while she's on a solo trip in Europe my girlfriend is graduating college and has a travel abroad program required in Italy I encouraged her to spend more time traveling since she's about to commit to a career for the rest of her life so she decided she's going to travel alone for a month before the travel abroad program with my support to do so she's been to Europe twice once with me and another time with her girlfriends when we went together in 2019 she had to leave early and I traveled with my brother before traveling solo for a week was she totally comfortable with me going to the Greek party Islands alone no so we agreed that I would text her periodically and text her when I got home and I did fast forward to the present where she meets up with her girlfriends to go to iiza Party Island am I totally comfortable no thus again we agreed to just text periodically and let me know when you get home safely I don't hear from her for 8 hours apparently she locked her phone for 3 hours and couldn't message me when she got home before falling asleep I was slightly frustrated and asked some follow-up questions about how that happened because I found it odd she got defensive and gave me attitude about having to explain herself to me I explained I have every right to ask since I've been her boyfriend for 7 years I dropped the conversation and said we could talk later she went out again the next night and texted me a short headed home next time we spoke she told me that we both need a break she said I need to work on my confidence and she needs to learn how to love herself without depending on my affirmations I told her I don't want to break but if she does then we need to just break up she said she didn't want to break up but is standing firm on requiring a break so I broke up with her my thought process is that you don't get to Simply say I want a break right now because I'm enjoying life and I'll deal with our relationship when I get back for context when I was in Greece alone she got super jealous and angry regarding a situation what did I do I left the club and called her immediately to discuss the situation imagine if I had said I think we both need a break I'd be regarded Ed is such a bad boyfriend all to say I'm pretty hurt she said the break wasn't to go hook up with others but to focus on ourselves now I've given her all the space she needs I'm feeling somewhat torn between overreacting over her wanting a break but I'm also standing firm on that I don't think that's fair of you to do in this situation I think it's quite admirable that you stood your ground for your beliefs you do not want to break she did and breaking up was the unfortunate consequence of that it's hard I get that from what I've read I think it was the right call to make even though you will be sad for quite some time take care and good luck no you were not wrong but this only works if you do not take her back when she returns otherwise it will have been the break that she asked for meanwhile she will be free in every sense to do whatever she likes good luck dude it's a breath of fresh air to see someone handle the situation as well as you did I'm not going to get into all the reasons why but kudos to you she definitely wanted a break so she could feel feel better about cheating you don't go on vacation and suddenly need the break after a night out yeah she wants to be free and hook up with random people whom she will never even see again be prepared that she wants to re-enter your life once she's had all her fun don't let her I accidentally started a family with my best friend and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me I had a very rough childhood growing up I didn't have a dad and my mom was never really there because she had a rough battle with health issues and she got hooked on things I had friends growing up but I had my best friend since I was 12 her name is Lily we've been extremely close due to our childhood issues and we had always been there for each other we had talks of being together but got cold feet because we were scared if it didn't work we couldn't recover from that when I was 18 I didn't really want to go to college school had never really been for me so I went into a trade I work long hours but it's been worth it and I make solid money right now for my position I'll come back to this in a bit when we were 19 19 Lily got pregnant by her boyfriend this dude somehow managed to avoid child support payments and broke up with her and has not seen the kid once in his life complete deadbeat makes me disgusted Lily was scared but I told her I would be here when she needed me she didn't have parents that would help but I told her I would help her where I can when the kid gets here lo and behold she gave birth to a beautiful baby named Kelsey I was there when she was born and it was a weird moment I don't know how to explain it but I did feel happy for her now we're 21 and ever since then Kelsey has had me wrapped around her finger I've done my round of diapers bottles middle of the night screaming Etc every day I get home from work we sit there and we watch our little shows and we spend a lot of time together as the three of us as well when we walk she grabs my pointy finger with her whole hand because it's so little as of recently she's begun speaking she's been calling me Daddy I've been feeling really weird about it lately feeling like it's not right and that's someday she needs to know the truth I talked to Lily about it one night and got her opinion on it she sat there with a slight grin and then she came up behind me and hugged me she said you're the best dad she could ever ask for and then proceeded to tell me we'll worry about talking to her when she understands as far as she's concerned you are her daddy and you are to me as well I turned around and hugged her we had a long talk about what's been going on lately with us as we've been engaging in not so just friends ities and she just said I like this I like our family I just kind of froze for a second and asked her is this what we want to do and she followed up by saying I think we've been doing this for a while now and then laughed we had a great moment and agreed to be a family I told her I needed to run to the store for some diapers for Kelsey on the way there I burst into tears I cried for maybe a good 30 minutes I don't even know how to describe what I was thinking and feeling but I was happy I just know that that there isn't a thing in this world I wouldn't do for these two it feels like I can relax and reflect on everything that's happened at this point but also I don't I basically have a family I'm looking out for like no matter what happens I have people who will depend on me and something like that makes me want to be the best man I can in about another year I will have my official license for my trade giving me a substantial pay raise and a new job that I've already lined up I've already started looking at houses and Rings we've also started talking about having our own once I get my license I don't know where I'm going with this but I wanted to share it with someone but I don't really have those people in my life thanks for reading don't marry her it's a trap you'll regret this long term you'll never be her kid's father and she'll never see you that way when she's an adult you're just setting yourself up to get hurt in the future okay bud that's your opinion I didn't ask for it he's correct op you've been brought up in a crappy family so you want to give back to the world in this regard and I can see you you have good intentions and a good heart but your friend got pregnant at 19 from somebody extremely irresponsible she could have taken all sorts of measures to prevent this but she did not at 19 now she's found you a responsible man to dump her responsibilities on to her daughter will have a good chance of not seeing you as her dad when she grows up he's cool and he loved me but he's not my dad this is the reaction you're very likely to get you're being stupid and messing up your life isn't it so convenient for her to be so willing to start a relationship with with someone like you now you were friend-zoned until this I'm assuming she's fairly more attractive than you are so this is maybe why you're acting this way but I'd simply let it all go it's okay just say sense of responsibility overwhelmed you and leave her there's a good chance of her cheating on you in the future let's hope op is one in the thousands that will get this situation to work and last until old age let's hope he's not one of many thousands that will be coming to Reddit telling his story of how his girlfriend or wife is no longer the same person that he helped through her pregnancy that he paid for her daughter's wedding but now daughter wants biological dad to walk her instead this is life and the rolling of the dices will be different for each of us good luck to op for the best outcome LMAO congrats on being her second choice and raising someone else's kid well done second choice what's wrong with you you sound like you're jealous of the fact that he's found in love with someone who actually cares about him any guy can get someone pregnant but takes a real man to man up and raise a baby we need more men like op in our world who are willing to step up and do the right thing and less people like you who want to insult others because you're miserable with your own life but he is second choice she never wanted to be with him in the past he says they got cold feet but what he means is she got cold feet it wasn't until she was a single mom that he was already supporting that she realized how much use she could get out of him as a standin dad and an okay partner to settle down with with for now this is what happens all the time and it's humorous to me that people deny it's how reality Works bro raising someone else's kid op and as far as I'm concerned She's Mine the minute she grows up she's going to go out looking for her biological daddy you're a great man though but step kids ain't ever turn yours she's going to leave to find her real dad and then come home with another completely unrelated baby that op is going to raise in 15 years L Mao yaza the Minions on Reddit are getting feisty today yes sir we do expect payment up front a little background info I live in a popular tropical tourist destination and one of my jobs is as crew on a snorkel boat I set up the boat before the trip lifeguard give history about the area Etc my captain is also the owner of the business so what he says goes and knows the local Waters like the back of his hand our company consists of him me and his girlfriend who manages is bookings phones and emails we aren't lowquality but we don't offer full meals or entertainment on board and focus solely on the snorkel experience because of that compared to the larger boats our private Charters are lower cost than most competition in turn we often get Penny Pincher people onward to the main story a family of 22 had been hounding our office before they even arrived to our location our office is words they were pushy and trying to get discounts and free upgrades so I was already dreading this Charter generally we take a card number and charge it before the charter but this group was adamant about paying cash office and Captain said fine but told me to get payment before getting them on the boat our boat is 50 ft long and stays mored offshore a few hundred yards so we use a water taxi to ferry from the short of the boat I got dropped off to get payment check the group in and give them pre-boarding info I walked up to the main guy paying for everything and I start the process and that's when things went downhill guy hello which board are we going on me points to our boat that pretty one right there guy that's not the boat we're going on yes it is there isn't any other boat sir no the boat looks like this shows me a photo of a boat from our website yes sir that is the same boat we just had the bottom and paint replaced a month ago I guess our office hasn't updated our website sorry about the confusion but I assure you it is the exact same boat guy well I don't think you're trying to deceive me but then why would they send me that photo me I'm sorry I'm not sure what to tell you but it is the same boat well I think we need to go out and inspect it and look at it before we decide to go and pay for it me I'm sorry sir that's not how this works we've already set up the boat for the charter and blocked any other bookings to accommodate your private Charter you can pay me and we can take your family out for the Excursion or we can decide not to go we haven't received payment from you so we have no obligation to you and no money to return what would you like to do guy then we don't want to go on the boat me okay sir sorry it didn't work out you and your family have a good day I picked up my stuff turned around got in the water taxi and left them on the shore as we rode away I could see the guy already on the phone trying to call the office I called his bluff and he was panicking because his whole family just heard him say they didn't want to go even though a lot of them did got back to the boat and explained to Captain what happened he said it sounds like he doesn't want them on his boat anyway and they loss he had planned to refuel after their trip but decided to do it now since we had the morning open they were still on the shore when we left but were gone when we got back once back on Shore the other guys who run activities in the same area told us the group had hung around for about an hour I guess the guy was very convinced we would come crawling back but when we didn't the family started fighting since many still wanted to go now they have to try to find another boat that has 22 spaces open and will most likely cost them two to three times more than us it was totally worth waking up early without pay asked for super spicy wings got malicious complian by the cook in the time before time when I was in college a buddy of mine and I used to go to Buffalo Wings night every Monday at the local join in New York so the wings were legit except the hottest level they had was never really that spicy just a bunch of Tabasco one day we were really jonesing for hot we had physically seen the cook in Prior visits big Burley don't mess with me type of person I told the waiter to write down our directions to the Cook we said table 8 says you cannot make these Wings Spicy enough for us because you are not enough of a man to make them hot he first refused to write that down we slipped him a $10 bill big money back then and said just blame us a picture of beer and one dozen wings for each of us came out they smelled spicy so we were stoked had one bite of One Wing immediately chugged our 16 o beer because OMG how did he make these so spicy on a whim we each ate the remainder of our very first Wing that picture of beer was annihilated we hadn't noticed but the cook was sticking his head out of the door watching us at this point he's crying from laughing so hard comes over and says he'll make us a fresh order those were the ones sitting at the very bottom of the prep bucket for hours had been soaking in the Chili Peppers Etc and they never served them as a rule we told him that wasn't right we demanded hypers spicy he delivered it was our responsibility to finish them with a smile we immediately called two friends told them in 2 hours we'd need to be picked up because we'd be hammered and they had to come drive us and my car home they were baffled as it was a Monday night but agreed took two full hours and three pitches of beer each but we finished them we stayed as quiet as we could given how much pain we were in thankfully the restaurant was always about half full the cook came out to give us a high five and asked I'm betting you won't ask for Ultra spicy again right no sir we will not you have beaten us and we acknowledge your superiority we left a monster tip and our sober friends drove us home made both of us sit in the backseat of their car as they didn't want to risk anyone throwing up in their car or on one of them as the driver am I the jerk for causing family drama over a swimming pool so I know from experience that Reddit isn't the most understanding towards parents of kids but I really just want a third party opinion because the situation is driving me crazy and my family is saying I need to get over it I female 30s live with my partner and our two kids who are ages s and 3 my older sister Ava also in her 30s and her husband recently purchased a house in the local area it's a super nice place with a big yard and you can probably guess from the title a swimming pool Ava recently hosted a barbecue at her place it wasn't a huge event she invited me our parents and our other siblings she mentioned letting the kids play in the pool so I I only assumed my kids would get to be included we are potty training although my youngest is still in Diapers at the moment at the barbecue I was getting my youngest ready and putting a swim diaper on Ava pulled me aside and told me she didn't think it's hygienic for him to be getting in the pool since the pee could still get in the pool and she asked that he doesn't swim in the pool with the other kids playing in it I don't think this was fair and I told Ava that lots of people adults and kids go number one in the pool and it would be no different at a public pool so what what's the problem she was being really condescending and wouldn't listen to me at all and said that he can play in the pool when he's toilet trained and said it's not fair to the other kids at this point my son was crying because he wanted to swim in the pool and I told Ava she was being cold but it's her house and her pool so do what you want Ava accused me of trying to guilt Tripper and told me to just drop it I was getting upset myself at this point and I told our parents and other siblings about what Ava did they told me it's not a big deal and that it's not worth arguing with her over and to try to not let it bother me I wasn't happy with this because this essentially means they're siding with her and downplaying how she treated me and my son I left the barbecue early with my family because we didn't feel welcome after that the next day Ava messaged me a whole paragraph and said that she's sorry that I'm upset and that she wasn't trying to exclude my son for the sake of it it was a super non-apology and I told her I don't want to hear it and that she's damaged her relationship with her nephew and she's not the one who had to deal with him being upset Ava snapped at me out of nowhere and said I'm being dramatic I told her to grow up and said that I have a very valid reason to be mad and she needs to stop acting like a teenager Ava showed these messages to everyone and everything's just a bit up in the air I feel like I'm right here but the rest of my family doesn't seem to agree how the heck are people voting not the jerk here you're the jerk 100% first and foremost it's not your pool it's Ava's and it's totally reasonable for her to not want your kids to be going to the bathroom in it you're the jerk not sure why doing this in the pool is considered okay by a lot of people but it's disgusting and your sister has a right to say no you're the jerk you act like it's normal to do this in pools your sister put a very sensible boundary you're acting entitled you're the jerk doing this in a pool is gross it's gross when it's in a public pool it's gross when it's in a private pool all the people that say but there are chemicals to clean it up do it in a cup then ask how many chemicals need to be added to the cup before they would dump that glass of water on their head it's just gross she wanted to keep her pool clean from your little mess machine frankly after you made your thoughts on it known I wouldn't have let your other kids in either my pool isn't for people who do that why do I have a feeling everyone making the biggest stink about this they probably did the same thing when they were little because they did we all did what if I told you I never stopped Rd it boy oh I'm so not going swimming with you again am I the jerk for insisting my husband sleep in the nursery once a week backstory I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband works 4 10hour shifts a week waking at 4:30 a.m. our 7mon son still drinks 1 2 a.m. bottle I do this six nights a week but want one night off on one of my husband's three weekend nights so that I can get one uninterrupted deep night of sleep a week additionally I want him to sleep in the nursery with my son for that at one night where we also have a nice twin bed he wants to stay in our Master for all seven nights a week my reasoning I'm a much lighter sleeper than my husband and always wake up to even small movements and sounds on the monitor my husband sleeps through a lot and most for instance in the past he has claimed our son slept till 9:00 a.m. when in reality he slept until 7:00 a.m. and then made lots of loud playful noises in his crib and my husband never woke up to them I've had nights up with my son crying multiple times and he he thought the baby slept through the night even if my husband does the 2 a.m. feed if he stays in the master I still will be the one who wakes up frequently on my night off since the monitor would still be in the room with us I'd likely have to wake him up when our son wants to be fed my point of view is I would still carry the mental load of that night too since I'd still be listening to and hearing the Monitor and thus wouldn't actually get better sleep I feel I deserve one night a week where I can truly sleep deeply with no Monitor and no listening for the baby and be able to trust that my husband has the situation fully handled as he is in the room with him I also don't feel comfortable just having no monitor at this age as our son is at the mobile age where he gets himself into trouble such as arms and legs caught in the crib but can't get himself out of it my husband's reasoning is he is happy to do baby duties but wants to do so from his bed instead of the nursery and feels it is an unreasonable ask to be asked to sleep in the nursery once a week he thinks if I wake up to the baby on his night that isn't his problem he thinks I'm overly paranoid and that if I have trouble sleeping with the monitor we should just turn off the monitor the nursery is 10 yard down the hall from the master and we red me likely would still hear him without monitor if he cried loudly but wouldn't be able to hear quieter noises without a monitor my husband thinks that me waking frequently to the baby is an anxiety problem and that I should basically work on myself at being less anxious by stop using crutches like the monitor or him sleeping in the nursery he feels that by sleeping in the Nursery he is enabling anxiety and paranoid Behavior additional relevant info our baby can't sleep in the master with us due to a lack of space I don't want this Arrangement forever either until he drops that feed or turns one whichever comes first my husband knows that I'm posting and helped edit his side he will go with what the internet decrees edit to add we have already been doing it this way for the past month and my husband wants to discontinue doing it this way I do feel that I get much better sleep this way and I'm able to sleep through I usually have to ask my husband the next morning if he fed the baby because I didn't hear anything and slept through not the jerk one night a week of uninterrupted sleep should be the priority I don't really see why your husband has a problem with sleeping in the nursery one night to allow this probably because if he sleeps in the nursery the baby wakes him up and he actually has to deal with the kid whereas in the master op will wake up faster and deal with it so he doesn't have to not the jerk if the nursery has a nice bed he can handle sleeping there for one night a week especially as you care for the baby six nights a week you don't have anxiety issues just motherly instincts and light sleep your husband is selfish not the jerk he doesn't get to sleep through the hard parts of fatherhood no jerks here slight you're the jerk you think your husband does absolutely nothing at home and with parenting that's not true he does do baby duties and he's working to provide for you that needs to stop being forgotten the weight of financial provision is heavy he's totally fine getting up at night with baby he doesn't want to be banished from his own bedroom that's valid wanting him to do baby duties at night is valid sticking to your guns over no longer sleeping together on his nights off is just weird you're the jerk you don't get to just kick your partner out of his bed you can sleep somewhere else though mild you're the jerk asking your husband to help out more with the baby at night is totally reasonable kicking him out of his bed is not you're the jerk you're a state home mom you nap when the baby naps wanting your husband to sleep in another room is really entitled maybe you should have agreed about duties before your kid was born it's part of the package that you don't get a good night's sleep for a few years aren't kids great am I the jerk for telling my son I don't want his friend at the family celebration I'm feeling guilty and I don't know if I handle this the wrong way my son 16 male has a friend who I'll call JN who's also 16 my son and John have been friends since fifth grade I know they're really close my son talks about him often and likes to buy stuff for him as much as he can I only met Jon three times and the only thing I knew about him before meeting him was that his parents were very protective of him so the first time he came into our home was the first time he was allowed to be with friends I was really happy to meet Jon at first because he's my son's closest friend but I don't know if he's just the brutally honest type or doesn't understand there's a time and a place for things when I first met him my son invited him to the birthday party of his oldest sister 28 female JN asked a lot of insensitive questions about issues my oldest daughter was going through which my son must have told him not sure why he was very open with what he thought even if it was just plain rude he did this two other times when he was invited my son defended him saying that JN didn't know it was wrong because he was raised differently from us each time he did it we also never got an apology we were fed up by the third time and I asked my son to not bring him around next time he was still allowed to hang out with Jon but not to bring him over my son's birthday is coming up and what we do is have a small celebration just family and some close friends and then the birthday person celebrates the Day as they wish my son wants to spend it with JN but also wants to invite Jon to the family celebration part he's asked multiple times and I said no I'd be willing to change my mind if Jon apologizes to the people he hurt with his questions and honesty he stopped asking me but it's clear he's upset about it so am I the jerk should I go with it just for this one day edit just going to answer some questions that are being brought up a lot one is John neuro Divergent I don't know but I can now see that it could be a possibility two did I explain to him the questions or what he was saying were inappropriate yes multiple times so did my daughter he defended himself by saying he was just being honest or that he just wanted to know three why did it take so long for me to meet my son's best friend well he has protective parents he wasn't allowed to visit friends until October when he was 15 around my old his daughter's birthday my son never introduced me to John when I picked him up from school so they may also have different ways of getting to and from school not the jerk you said they can still spend time with JN but you don't want him in your house because he was rude and made her feel uncomfortable that's totally fine you don't have to include Jon in a personal family celebration he still gets to hang out with Jon on his birthday I think that's fair it's your house and you get a say on who comes in you're the jerk it's your son's birthday why not let him have his friend come over I'd understand if it was another family member but it seems a little cruel you don't want to let your son have who you described as his closest friend at his birthday party if his parents are very protective and don't let him go out that much it's very likely explains why he doesn't have certain social skills you should talk to your son about discussing with Jon what's okay to share that you know and what needs to be kept to himself or if he tries that in front of you again straight up say to him that it's not the place to be asking those things my husband husband left me now his ex-wife wants me to pay the child support he owes her to make a long story short I'm female 25 and my husband male 33 just walked out on us a little over a month ago he completely just up and abandoned me our 5-year-old and our 18-month-old he has an ex-wife in her 30s and they have a 12-year-old daughter from their marriage no formal custody involved but we would usually get my stepdaughter every other weekend and my husband would pay his ex the child support every month on the 1 when he got paid my husband's excuse for just leaving us in the dust was that I am damaged goods and he couldn't hack it being a father anymore he didn't feel any joy in parenting and wanted to live a free life so he changed his number blocked me on all social media changed all of his passwords and told his friends and family not to speak to me it turned my entire life upside down I've been a stay-at-home mom since our eldest was born got my degree and we talked about me going back to the workforce once she entered kindergarten this year in the fall but it was nothing said in stone my husband literally gave me an allowance every week to buy groceries pay bills buy diapers anything else the kids needed Etc I would always stash a little bit away but he definitely was the breadwinner in our relationship my husband's ex-wife messaged me earlier today asking if we could talk about something serious I asked her what was up she asked if I could pay her for the amount of child support my husband usually givs her every month on the 1 I curiously asked her how much because my husband never told me exactly the amount he gave her I never really thought it was any of my business she told me she needed the $900 he usually gives her because both she and her new husband are struggling to pay their bills and they rely on that child support to make their rent payment and they were behind I told her I couldn't do it because truthfully I can't I'm still waiting to get an appointment so I can receive government benefits because with what little money I did have saved up it's gone now after paying every single bill by myself to keep a roof over mine in my kids heads make sure they're fed Etc there is and will be no way I can spare almost a grand to my husband's ex-wife she blew up my phone called me names said that she can understand why he left me Etc threatening to keep my stepdaughter away from me and my kids because we are bad influences and that my step-daughter is going to struggle because I can't hand over the money I literally don't even have I tried apologizing but it was no use it just ended with her calling me more names am I the jerk here I feel horrible that my husband has left us both high and dry but I also have to look out for my own kids I'm literally skipping meals to make sure they have enough to eat and I'm scrambling to figure out how I'm going to survive without my husband's help now part of me is really conflicted but I can't give his ex-wife what I don't have not the jerk honestly I'm confused why the ex-wife would ask you and why you would even debate it internally this is a no-brainer here your soon to be ex-husband needs to handle his his responsibilities the audacity of her to even ask you is off the charts op I guess because whenever we would have my stepd daughter I'd be the one to take her shopping new manicure Etc my husband would pay for it but she never wanted him to take her out just me I guess her mom just had it in her head that I had a secret stash of money somewhere she knew I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since our eldest was born lawyer here absolutely not your responsibility not the jerk your husband is and she is for putting this on you assuming you are in the USA one you need a custody order with your husband otherwise in many states he could take the kids with them and not return home two you need a child support order many government benefits won't be paid without it three you need a status quo order will prevent him from dissipating and hiding assets or making major changes until you can get divorced four you need to talk to a lawyer about your relationship with your stepdaughter and what visitation rights if any you have with her that varies by state do this before anything else yes even the government benefits you need that SQ order in place do this next tap here on your screen to come see our new podcast playlist where you'll find 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Channel: r/mr redder

Views: 54,502

Keywords: reddit, entitled people, r/entitledpeople, entitled peoples stories, r/entitledparents rslash, entitled, reddit funny stories, rslash entitled people, entitled people top post, funny karen stories, karen story, entitled stories, entitled karen, entitled people reddit, reddit entitled people, entitled mom, entitled mom stories, entitled parents, horrible karen stories, karen freakouts, r/, karen freaks out, hoa, reddit podcast, aita reddit stories podcast, reddit podcast stories

Id: 9HIdpzF3Y5g

Length: 189min 6sec (11346 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 16 2023