Karen Refused To Leave My Home, Now She's Homeless!

hey there Mr redder here welcome back to another episode of r slash entitled people stories today we have a very special episode for you a compilation of some of the best entitled people stories we've read over the past year so sit back relax and enjoy a few hours of the most entitled people you've ever heard of and by the way Karen assured me that for every thumbs up this video gets she won't try to get anyone fired for an entire week so please smash that like button and subscribe and turn on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day homeless Karen demands to live with me I kicked her out so I'm 22 female and my boyfriend who's 24 has this friend another female who's 25 who moved in four months ago because she had nowhere else to go now I didn't mind having her here as long as she respects our boundaries and the rules around the house but that's definitely not it she's very loud comments on everything and just does inappropriate stuff in general and excuses it for being a Latina and says that that's just how they are she doesn't help at all besides maybe cooking sometimes but doesn't clean up the mess she makes and she invites people over whenever she wants she changes in the living room in front of us and I asked her to change in her room but her excuses that she was trying to feel like home and then she suggested that I should do it too as it will strengthen my bond with my boyfriend I talked to my boyfriend about how I'm kind of uncomfortable with this whole situation and he told me not to overthink it and that she's just very unbothered and cool she always interrupted our time together and would sit between US during a movie or take my space while I took a bathroom break and she cuddles him in the most unfriendly way and when I asked jokingly if she was trying to take my man she would excuse it on her ethnicity and say that that's how they grew up so I knew I had to ruin this Friday night they had for them I went up to them and she was all over him as usual I called my boyfriend and when he was about to get up she said how it was their favorite part and that he could leave later I insisted but she kept pulling him so I went and pulled him to our room discussed how what she's doing is really upsetting me and I no longer want her living with us and he agreed I had the right but that she has nowhere else to go and that I'll have to wait until she finds a job which she's not even trying to get while talking she came up and tried to open the door which was locked so she started knocking and we just ignored her until it got louder and he asked her to leave but she got even louder and then started saying that I ruined their only time that she gets to spend with him which obviously is not the case I had enough at that point but my boyfriend suggested he talked to her first so he went and they took too long like almost two hours so I went to check on them and I heard her telling him that he shouldn't accept someone who ruins a friendship as a partner and that it's a big red flag and that he should kick me out but this place is actually my property that I inherited from my aunt and at that point I knew I had to kick her out I didn't even ask with what conclusion they came up with and waited in the living room until they came out and I just told her to look for another place and gave her two weeks Max she's been crying since yesterday refusing to eat and not coming out of the room and my boyfriend is saying I went overboard and I just hit a sensitive spot of hers basically telling her to leave when she has no family or anywhere else to go so am I the jerk update thank you everyone for the advice and for helping me open my eyes to the real issue it was past midnight when I posted that and my life literally took a 180 and less than 24 hours it's been overwhelming and I didn't expect this would reach so many people the comments were like a slap in the face that I really needed apparently I was too blind yeah I guess my boyfriend isn't who I thought he was he's been trying to give her food to calm her down and he literally took a day off from college and work he goes on Sundays too which he never did for me and he never even got days off from his classes unless really necessary with proof nursing I don't know how he managed to get a day off I really wanted to make sure it was what it looks like before deciding my next move I prepared Lunch Way Before Time and asked him if he was around for lunch and his response I'm trying to get her to have breakfast and you're talking about lunch you're becoming unrecognizable yeah I didn't know where to reply so I just asked again but he said we can have lunch together if she's willing to join us as it's rude for us to eat without her at this point I felt like crap to be honest and asked him why she was so important that he canceled all of his plans just to support her emotionally which he never did when I went through things myself but he just left like that I invited my guy friend over which he doesn't like and I explained to him our situation and just asked him to be comfortable I didn't want to do the cuddling stuff like them because we didn't break up yet at that point and it was weird anyways because we don't usually my boyfriend never realized someone was over until he came to take food and he saw us having lunch together and he just gave me a look said hi and was going to take some for themselves until he realized it was a creamy rice casserole which his friend doesn't like and yeah I did that on purpose and chicken roast with some sides and he literally glared at me and said you know she doesn't eat that and I just replied well it's not her who I made this for and then he threw the plate started shouting asking what was wrong with me and that he wished he never dated me it was so scary my friend got involved they got aggressive and I just asked him to leave with his other girlfriend which he replied with oh so you're replacing me that fast but I told him that he was the one who had replaced me a long time ago but I was too dumb to realize he actually moved in fully when his friend came and college is here do provide dorms but of course it's not like she can live with him and I couldn't care less anymore also no legal action is required for someone you haven't signed papers with where I live they were just guests I packed his things for him which aren't a lot and left it by the front door he came crying and apologizing and acknowledging that what he did was wrong and some other BS I didn't want to hear because the damage was already done my friend was of great support and he dealt with everything else as I cried my eyes out in my room and that sums up how I went through my first heartbreak and it was my first relationship and I did love him but I guess I can watch eat and do anything now without catering to anyone's needs I'm changing the locks tomorrow morning and we're ordering Fried Chicken a pair currently a proven heartbreak Remedy by my friend and although her excuse was bringing up her race I know better than that thank you all for the support not the jerk but you don't have a homeless friend problem you've got a boyfriend problem well what would you do in this situation would you kick out the Karen and your boyfriend or not please let us know humans never cease to amaze me am I the jerk for putting dirty dishes away so I 16 female can admit that when it comes to chores I've never had too many responsibilities I have to take the dog out for a minimum of 15 minutes a day keep my room clean and put away the dishes my mom who's 39 always does the dishes recently my stepdad who's 42 fixed our dishwasher and we've been using it instead to make things easier the first time we use the dishwasher I started putting things away and found a glass had broken no big deal second time some other things had visible food and such still on them I put them in the sink assuming they would just get redone and I'd put them away the next time I had been doing this for about a week putting a few utensils maybe a cup that had visible food when my mom finally talked to me she said that I needed to do my chores right and stop putting things in the sink just so I can go back to my phone quicker I said that the only time I ever put things in the sink was because they were still dirty she said that was garbage and I needed to stop or else she would take my phone for a bit the next day as I was putting away the dishes I saw some more forks and spatulas were still somewhat dirty and a mug my mom's favorite had some dishwasher Gunk inside doing as my mom told me I put everything away when she came to the kitchen I sit at the dinner table and watched as she grabbed a spatula and noticed it was dirty but just sighed and put it in the sink after she went to grab her mug when she saw it was full of dishwasher Gunk she looked over to me and asked what I thought I was doing and I kindly said that I had just put away all of the dishes she blew up and said that if something was obviously dirty I should put it in the sink and not put it away I pointed out the flaws in her argument after that she took my phone for the day I don't think I did anything really wrong but I want to know am I the jerk edit I'd like to start off by saying thank you for everyone's input I do see how most of you see that I'm the jerk so I'm talking to my mom tomorrow one thing I will also be doing is telling her that sometimes I would like her to listen to what I'm going to say even if I am in the wrong one last thing I would like to mention I saw a lot of people saying that I was a brat and I'll be in for a rude awakening when I move out you are wrong sorry between the ages of 7 and 11 my dad had a horrible girlfriend and I was doing everything in the house for myself my dad and his ex along with his ex's kids I know how to do these things they're just not my responsibilities anymore I'm also at the top of my classes and on track for some great universities and jobs I am also almost fully done writing a novel I plan to publish before I'm 19. thank you for listening edit too so there was a certain comment that you have apparently been downvoting which I think is terrible as this person has made me think of the situation and really my whole life in another light someone mentioned how they are autistic and sometimes don't understand things right away I relate to that a lot and when it comes to me mentioning what happened with my dad and his ex I never wanted to use that as an excuse I didn't mean it that way I was frustrated and annoyed by people saying I'll never amount to anything in life because that is probably my greatest fear I honestly don't care if you guys think I'm a jerk or not anymore as I'm already sorting out the situation with my mom and everyone calling me horrendous things is just making me really upset those of you calling me things an absolutely terrorizing me as a human you need to grow up you are an adult who got so annoyed with teenager having an argument with their mom that you decided to bully her grow up you're the jerk when you see something like this you need to hand wash it clean long term you need different dishwasher soap or a better dishwasher if it's not cleaning your dishes properly if things are coming out dirty you need to add dishwasher salt and rinse aid to the machine that's not what your mom wanted and you know it stop pretending you don't know what she meant and using weaponized incompetence by doing the dishes your mom expects you to clean the dishes and not just wait for someone else to do it for you then put them away when they're clean and dry you're the jerk times a million and way too old to behave this way well who do you think is the jerk op or her mom please let us know nothing like a little malicious compliance when it comes to your chores reminds me of the time my dad told me to cut all of the grass in the backyard let's just say he wasn't happy when he saw what it looked like I can't stand fake service dogs for one it gives real service dogs a hard time both because there are other untrained dogs around and people are more skeptical of people saying their dog is a service dog because of fakes I probably dealt with 100 dogs someone claims our service dogs I'd say probably two were ones I'd consider an actual service this dog for the non-hotel people when a guest brings a service dog you may not ask for papers you may not require them to wear a vest you are very limited on your questions you may ask there are only two questions you can ask and they are do you need this animal because of a disability and what tasks has this animal been trained to perform and that's it they have to answer yes to the first and in the second they must describe some task like it guides the blind it protects my head during a seizure or it reminds me to take my medication many people used to answer emotional support or Comfort animal but those are not tasks recognized by the Ada and do not count as service animals most people have learned the tricks by this point and just throw out a task so anyway today someone is checking in with a dog so I'm called to come ask the questions I don't make regular agents ask the questions as it's hard to know all the other regulations and people can be very combative about answering anything about their fake dogs so I have them call me or another manager the conversation goes like this me do you need this animal because of a disability hesitation guest uh a disability uh yeah yes I guess me okay what tasks has it been trained to perform guest well I called and they said service animals are fun me yes we allow service animals and the Ada has guidelines for verifying them and one is to identify the task the animal has been trained to perform guest well we have a card and paperwork me sir I don't need that and am in fact not allowed to ask for a license and paperwork I just need to know the task the animal has been trained to perform I'd rather not say we don't like to talk about it me okay but without a task I have to charge a 250 pet fee but it's a service animal me okay what task has it been trained to perform but we have a card we don't have to answer that me okay does the card tell me what task it's trained to perform uh I don't know okay let me see but to be clear I'm not requiring a license I just need to know the task guest hands me their little card you can order online for anyone I look at the card and clearly written on the card is hotels may not ask for proof and may only ask two questions is this animal for a disability and what task is it trained to perform me sir the card clearly says you are required to let me know the task the animal has been trained to perform guest well I forget what the task is called at this point I'm beyond over it frankly I never really care if it's fake we're always allowed to charge for damage and we can evict disruptive dogs too all I want is for them to say yes and give me whatever task they Googled is acceptable so I can put it in the notes to cover myself in case there are issues me well let's do this go to your room and look up the task and let me know in an hour basically hinting to go Google something so I can add notes guest Huffs but accepts and I finish their check-in he returns 30 minutes later and I'm called up front me okay sir what tasks has his animal been trained to perform guest well I have bipolar on me sir sir stop I don't need to know anything about your medical condition I just need to know the task the animal performs guest well I have a disorder on me sir again I don't need to know your condition just the task well can you just put Comfort on them all at this point I don't even care they're only a one night stay me okay sir please remember the animal may not be left unattended in the room and if there are damages we will charge the card he Huffs off and I just throw in alerts of seizures in the notes the next day they checked out and of course had left the dog unintended during dinner and it went to the bathroom in the room it was very satisfying to charge 750 to that credit card for carpet cleaning and putting the room out of service for a day can't wait to see that disputed charge triple checked I had signature on file and we got a credit card ship read so we will always win those but boy I really can't stand fake service dogs at least have the courtesy to Google the questions and have your fake answers ready instead of wasting my time car dealer tells me I should go to a competing dealer okay I will this took place eight years ago when I was buying my first new car not just a new to me car I spent a good amount of time researching the options available both in terms of other models from other manufacturers and option packages on the car in which I was most interested so I knew exactly what I wanted coming in the door in 2014 car dealer websites hadn't quite gotten to the level of borderline bait and switch trickery you see these days so if a dealer's website said they had a particular car on the lot at a particular price they almost certainly did there were several in the region that matched what I was looking for one specifically at my existing dealership this wasn't a smaller dealership it was one of the largest in the northern Virginia area for this particular brand I had had a reasonably good experience with their service department overall and figured I'd give their sales department a chance to shine this was my first mistake I showed up on a Wednesday after work it was early June so with the Mercury being in the upper 90s I was dressed in a comfortable but still very presentable combination of a polo shirt and khaki shorts when I entered the sales side of the dealership I could see what appeared to be all the sales people in a conference room laughing and joking while taking scissors to the tie of one of the men present later I found out that was a rite of passage after making your first sale I waited around for a minute or two as the conference room had glass walls and it would be impossible not to notice me as I'm not exactly a small fellow at six foot six when no one came out to greet me I went up to the receptionist desk and said hi I'm interested in this model of the car and there's one in stock here that I'd like to see her response without even looking up from her phone was okay I stood there for another 20 seconds or so and then politely asked would someone be able to show me that car this finally prompted her to look up from her phone she looked me up and down scoffed a bit and said she'd go and get someone I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt hoping that things would turn around that was my second mistake the receptionist came back with what looked like the youngest most wet behind the ears salesperson she could find as evidently I wasn't worth the time of the more experienced folks I explained that I was interested in a car that their website said they had in stock and provided him with the printout showing the stock number the price all the other pertinent details it took him a while to find the car on the lot but after a brief test drive I knew it was what I wanted and began the sales process I had a trade-in which had been primarily serviced by them and for which I already had a written offer from CarMax so I knew how much I should receive for it he quoted me just over half of that figure when I pointed out that I could get several thousand more by taking it to the CarMax just up the road and had a written offer from them for that specific amount he went and got his sales manager who offered to drive me there and pick me up afterwards but that they wouldn't match what CarMax offered I was a bit surprised that they didn't want a nice used car to sell for themselves six years old top of the line reasonable mileage and serviced by them personally but again cut them more slack than they deserved when we got to price things really fell apart he quoted me a price that was several thousand dollars higher than what they displayed on their website when I showed him the printout again with the noticeably lower price he looked to the sales manager for guidance the sales manager immediately took the line that said the price listed includes all available rebates and special offers as you may not qualify for all of them I was now frustrated and showed them printouts from the other dealers in the area that had a similar price shown and said that if they weren't willing to honor the price listed on their website I just go to the next closest dealer that had that model in stock at that price his response sealed the deal for me go ahead waste your time and go to the other dealership we won't hold it against you when you come back here I told him okay thank you for your time I'll go to the competing dealership and I got up to leave no one stopped me and the receptionist said nothing as I walked past her out to the parking lot to drive to the other dealership when I got to the competing dealership it was already around 8 PM as I had spent a fair amount of time at their first dealership a northern Virginia traffic has never been known for being reasonable I had a salesperson approach me immediately upon entering the dealership and I explained I've just come from the first dealership and I want to buy this particular model of this car both of you have that car in stock with the options I want they wouldn't give it to me at the price shown on their website if you will I'm ready to sign on the dotted line right now the salesperson immediately took me to his office verified that they had the car and confirmed that yes the price on their website was accurate and I could walk out the door with that price we started the process and when we got to the trade-in I further explained how the other dealership tried to lowball me on the trade he said if I could produce a written offer from CarMax for the price I mentioned they would match it I gave him that paperwork and without any further discussion he agreed that they would match that and we moved on to financing I hadn't gotten this far with the other dealer but I had already lined up financing through my credit union he asked if I'd be willing to see if his F and I guy could match or beat that figure I agreed to let him try and he came back with a rate that was 50 base points lower needless to say I was already very happy with these people but that definitely sealed the deal right as I was finishing the paperwork the salesperson from the first dealer texted me to ask if they would give me that car at that price I responded back that they would and I was finishing up the paperwork at that very moment he immediately tried to call me then texted me saying he'd give it to me for five hundred dollars less I responded to his text stating that I had already saw signed the paperwork and he had lost the sale once the paperwork was complete the exceptionally Pleasant and helpful salesperson at my new dealership spent an additional half hour after the dealership had closed for the night running me through some of the features of the car and showing me how the infotainment system worked this was completely above and beyond what I expected as I thought I'd just be reading the 300 Page user manual to figure it out on my own I drove home that night with my shiny new car a very happy camper the next day I decided to rub a little salt in the wounds of the first dealership so I drove there straight from the office for context I work in the banking industry and at that point it was still very much business formal dress I showed up in my suit with my briefcase and had people falling all over themselves trying to help me including the receptionist who clearly remembered who I was midway through me asking for the particular salesperson I dealt with the prior day she offered me a seat and asked if I wanted some coffee while she went to get him and I politely said no thank you I won't be here long she somewhat quietly and sheepishly responded that she'd be back with that salesperson very shortly there was a couple in the waiting area who seemed a bit displeased that they had been waiting for a salesperson but I got one the moment I walked in the door no more than a minute later the salesperson and his manager came out the salesperson recognized me and with the look of defeat on his face shook my hand and asked how I was today before I had a chance to respond the sales manager spoke up to introduce himself as if I hadn't spent an hour and a half with him the previous day after I reminded him that I was there yesterday and he had said it would be a waste of time to go to the competing dealer because they'd never give me the car I wanted at the price shown on their website his demeanor very quickly pivoted back to the snotty insolent person I dealt with the previous day he proceeded to ask well did the with a bit of sneer I said nothing but turned to the side and clicked the remote for my new car so the horn would give a few chirps he said good for you and it rather Kurt tone and walked away leaving the poor salesperson on his own I shook that salesperson's hand thanked him for his time and turned around to leave the receptionist spoke up as I walked past her and asked in a rather chipper voice if I needed any further assistance I politely responded that no the other dealership had provided me exactly what I needed and I was all set to make things just that little bit better as I passed the couple sitting in the waiting area I saw them exchange looks with each other that seemed to say perhaps we should go to the other dealer I said nothing further and walked out of the building wearing the smile of a winner make that machine go faster I work as a medical laboratory scientist in a fairly large 600 bed Regional Hospital I'm the one that runs all the tests your doctor orders on your blood and other body fluids our testing areas or benches in the lab are chemistry hematology coagulation urinalysis blood bank and microbiology Each of which has several analyzers machines ranging from the size of a microwave to the size of a hippo used for testing different things I work nights so it's just a skeleton crew in the lab two of us MLS lab techs one lab assistant and two phlebotomists who double as specimen processors as you can imagine things get pretty busy with those many benches to cover for that many patients and just the two of us to cover them between level 1 traumas being flown in from all over the Western half of our state and the eastern half of our neighboring state heart attacks surgeries ODS sepsis meningitis cancer Etc it's hard to keep up additionally much of the testing takes upwards of 15 to 20 minutes or more to run on the analyzer depending on the test and some a lot longer than that most of the nurses and doctors understand our constraints and while we do get the occasional call asking when results will be ready they mostly leave us alone well last night I had a doctor calling for the results on a hepatitis panel those are not usually considered stat tests but this one was ordered as such so I got it running right away but the panel takes a long time to run anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and 45 minutes depending on if it's reactive and reflexes to further testing the doctor called me after I'd only had it on the analyzer for 15 minutes I informed him it would be at least another half hour maybe as much as an hour and a half longer and he told me that was ridiculous and said that it had never taken that long before I said I was sorry but that was the only estimate I had to give him 35 minutes later the doctor walked into the lab for those who don't know this is an extremely rare occurrence we see nurses and CNAs all the time but doctors are too busy to ever come down themselves unless it's a dire situation me hi how can I help you Doctor are you the one I talked to on the phone earlier is my hepatitis ready yet I'm not seeing it in the chart me let me check no it looks like it's still running the current estimate is another 30 minutes and I'll be sure to release the details to the patient's chart as soon as it's finished doctor 30 more minutes that's insane you told me 30 minutes on the phone 35 minutes ago me I told you at least 30 minutes and I said that it could be as much longer as an hour and a half 30 more minutes is actually right in the middle of my original estimate doctor this is totally unacceptable you need to do something to make that machine go faster I had about reached my limit with this guy so at that point I turned around and walked a few steps over to the analyzer in question leaned in close to where I could hear the Machinery buzzing along and yelled go faster as loud as I could when I turned back to the doctor I noticed his face was an odd shape of purple as he turned around and stomped out of the lab without another word he could write me up for unprofessionalism but not without revealing himself to be a total jerk in the process so I think I'm safe guest gets removed by the police tries to get a refund last night we had some idiots staying with us they had originally checked in Saturday night and we really shouldn't have let them stay Sunday because they came to extend stinking to High Heavens of things they shouldn't have been doing in their room which was non-smoking but we were already overwhelmed so the owner decided we'd let them stay late last night someone came in asking for a key to one of their two rooms and the someone's name was not on either of the rooms the N A apologized and said that she couldn't provide them with a key as their name was not on the room they got argumentative with her and said the person who rented the room was at the club and unable to come provide her ID they went back and forth getting more irate with DNA while she started to get overwhelmed and started shaking she's still working on becoming numb like the rest of us finally the girl who rented the rooms came in asking for a key apparently not having been at the club she also started being rude towards the N A who ultimately called the police to have them moved this morning when I came in for my shift the N A relayed all this to me and also expressed worry that the people knew her name because someone clearly disguising their voice called about an hour after the police left and asked her some questions today when housekeeping went to check the rooms they found that they had been heavily smoked in there were ashes and burnt wrappers and such all over the place we tried to charge the card on file for the rest of the smoking fee not covered by the deposits but as expected they were broke losers this all in and of itself would not have warranted a post in my opinion I've been in the business going on eight years and I'm used to this stupidity then about 20 minutes ago a new chapter was added to the story I get a call asking for the manager and the caller was in luck as I happened to be the manager on duty she asked if we have an employee whose name was Stephanie which we don't and I told her this she then asked if we have any employees whose names start with an S which also we don't she gives up and tells me she needs to make a complaint about the girl working last night In fairness her name does start with an S sound but I wasn't about to tell the caller this having realized it was the jerks from the night before but I politely let them give me their version of events knowing full well it's a lie I know better than to stop an opponent from making a mistake their tall tale included the friends being refused access to their room the night audit being extremely rude and the cops being called for no reason I already knew the night audit hadn't been rude to them I watched the security footage from the event and also the night audit doesn't have a mean bone in her body I don't think she could have been rude if she tried anyway the caller informed me that she wanted at least half her money back because of what happened I informed her that she would get nothing back as I had reviewed the footage and knew exactly what had happened and furthermore both rooms had been heavily smoked in they told me they thought the rooms were smoking rooms because they smelled like smoke at check-in but she also claimed that they called the desk to let them know the room smelled like smoke which I don't know why you'd do that if you thought it was a smoking room I told them no all of our rooms are non-smoking and the paper they signed at check-in says as such plus even if it smelled I smoked there were ashes and rappers all over at that point she realized she had lost and informed me she and her friends wouldn't be coming back I don't know why she thought threatening me with a good time would meet anything and I wish I said I don't know why you think we'd want you back here but instead I just said you wouldn't be welcome back she hung up and me and the owner laughed about how dumb they were and we all the staff at least lived happily ever after until the next guest comes in am I the jerk for telling my wife to stop acting like a brat my mom got married recently my mom really isn't big into taking pictures she thinks only ugly or insecure people care about them but that's a whole nother issue though there was a photographer my mom wanted a picture with her kids just her kids and not our partners my wife felt that that was rude and asked if there would be a family picture my mom said no as she only wants a couple pictures and thinks taking them is a waste of time I didn't think much of it I mean we are her kids why can't she want one picture with just us my wife said that it was bad etiquette couples are a package deal and asked me not to take the picture my mom said fine she didn't want any pictures with anyone but the groom I asked why we couldn't just take a family picture and include our partners my mom said she didn't want us to as my wife was being difficult and she doesn't believe marriage is about family anyway especially his second marriage when she doesn't like his kids and he doesn't like mine she told us to just go away and let her take a few pictures with him as we walked away I asked if that was necessary I said my mom is allowed to want a picture with just her biological kids and package deals shouldn't mean join at the hip I said she was acting like a brat and making someone else's wedding about her she was hurt and needless to say didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening she still thinks that I'm a jerk and I was enabling my mom my Karen roommate refuses to let me have pets I 22 female live with a friend from college to save money we've usually gotten along pretty well I've mentioned to her before that I was possibly thinking about getting ferrets we had some when I was little and I wanted them again she sort of begged me not to because she said they smell God awful and she just can't stand it I have almost no sense of smell so it wouldn't even bother me but I said if it meant that much to her I could wait until we had our own places to live she has a cat and recently she hasn't been as consistent with the litter box cleanings as she was in the past I get that she's been super busy and ninety percent of the time she does fine but a couple times she went too long and the cat did its business in the living room which grosses me out the second time it happened I got a bit upset and she apologized and said that she would try to be better she asked if I could help clean the box if she did forget and that it would be a lot easier for me without much of a sense of smell but I refuse since it's her pet when it happened again a month later I told her that if it happened again I'd be getting pet ferrets not as like a punishment but I'm not gonna go out of my way to keep the apartment free from pet smells or whatever if she's showing it's not really a priority for her she got upset but said she'd do better she did but two months later it happened again I didn't give her a warning when she was out of town one weekend I bought four pet ferrets when she got back she was practically crying saying the stench was overwhelming and everything stinks and begged me to get rid of them I said no sorry I warned you what the consequences would be and I'm not just going to abandon them now I figured she'd get used to the smell anyway but it's been a week and she's still pretty upset saying I don't understand how nauseating it is since I can't smell and that this punishment is totally disproportional to any grossness her cat could ever produce am I the jerk four ferrets just thinking about that smell nauseates me the smell is probably seeped into your roommate's stuff and yours too do you work outside the home if so I bet your manager is riding a would I be the jerk about telling you that you are the stinky weird person at work you're the jerk you're the jerk just because her cat would have an accident maybe once a month that you can't even smell now you want to stink up the whole apartment for her no she won't just get used to the ferret stink most people really can't take it it's not like cat smell at all you're the jerk I hope you can afford to live alone when your lease is up because I can guarantee you that literally no one else will be willing to live with you and four ferrets in an apartment you also just lost a friend and you'll probably be distanced from some more not just because of your jerk Behavior but also because you're going to start stinking like ferrets and many people struggle to tolerate that smell well who do you think is the jerk Opie or their roommate please let us know ain't no way I'm gonna live with someone with three ferrets but also roommate needs to keep that litter box clean I can't stand irresponsible pet owners I'm your new manager and you'll listen to me no I really won't bit of background before I start this story happened when I was still working as a machinist back when I was 19. I started that job on second shift 2 pm to 10 pm but was transferred to weekend shift 5 AM to 5 PM barely 6 months later and the manager for weekend was an older man we'll call him Jay this is important for later since weekend was severely understaffed we were each put in charge of multiple machines I was in charge of running four machines that formed a big block in a corner of the factory that hardly anyone ever went to one Friday morning as I was setting up my machines a short rotund man with a Vernon dursley mustache walked up to me and tapped me on the shoulder surprised that I had a visitor I pulled my head out of the machine and greeted him we've got me we've got entitled manager me hi can I help you with something entitled manager I'm his name me okay nice to meet you I'm op I hold out my hand for him to shake which he ignores entitled manager yeah I'm just looking around trying to get fill for the place you know me understandable I guess I trailed off not really sure what he wanted and knowing I had about 20 minutes to get the machines going before I fell behind on my work order you've got a pretty nice setup here I wouldn't have known there was anyone working back here if I hadn't wandered over this way me I guess I bet you have fun back here you can just slack off all day and no one comes by to bother you he laughs in a kind of condescending way me sorry but is there a point to this conversation or can I finish setting up yeah I probably could have been a bit more tactful here but I worked my butt off and I had the highest job completion rate out of every shift who ran those machines which was Quite a feat considering I was alone and the other shifts had between two and four people running those same machines entitled manager sneers at me you don't know who I am do you me nope should I yeah you should I'm your new boss me I stare at him for a second then laugh really did Jay finally retire what Jay what's he got to do with this me Jay's my manager it was at this moment I realized he had gotten ahead of himself and didn't even know who he was in charge of yet no he's not I am I was just promoted to first shift manager that means you work for me me no that's not what that means I said slowly I'm on weekend shift not first so you're not my boss Jay is if you're weakened then why are you running for shift's equipment he asked me in an aha got you kind of way me this is where I've been assigned you want specifics you're gonna have to ask the manager I didn't choose which machines I run I am your manager me no you're not now can I please get back to work entitled manager steps into my personal space and looks up at me with a frown on his face like it was somehow my fault that I was a foot taller than he was I'm the first shift manager me good for you man and I mean that but that doesn't mean you're my manager he pokes me in the chest I'm the first shift manager that means you have to listen to me me I looked down at his finger then take a step back so he isn't touching me anymore don't do that entitled manager seemingly amused by my response steps closer and tries to poke me again it was at that moment that my actual manager showed up Jay what's going on op machines ready to get moving me not yet I was just being introduced to entitled manager here guess I got distracted Jay sees how irritated I look and quickly realized what was going on is that right hey entitled manager why don't you let me introduce you to the other weekend guys Ops got to get these machines going so he can make raid entitled manager smirks at me yeah sure have a good day RP I'll see you later Jay leads him away and I get back to work without any more interruptions for the rest of my shift but entitled manager had apparently decided that my Defiance was unacceptable and something he needed to personally correct so I hadn't seen the last of him just yet over the next five months every encounter with entitled manager went about the same way he would try to give me orders I would refuse and he would keep pressing until I got irritated but eventually Jay got tired of hearing entitled manager complain about me not listening to him and called me into the office for a chat he basically told me to just suck it up and do what he asked that it was only because I wasn't listening to him that he kept bugging me and that if I just gave in he would get bored eventually and leave me alone so I begrudgingly went along with it and started doing all of the BS tasks he wanted me to do these tasks included painting tables for a first shift fixing entire baskets full of parts that first shift messed up shoveling brass chips from a wheelbarrow to a barrel for absolutely no reason and setting up machines for first shift and I was expected to do those while still doing my own job if I didn't really need the money I would have quit the moment Jay told me to go along with his BS but since I didn't entitled manager only got more Brazen as time went on things finally came to a head one Saturday morning someone on third shift had forgotten to lock up the machine after a sensor malfunction so I went about setting it up for the next order code like I always did completely unaware of the time bomb I had my head inside off one of the pneumatic doors bugged out due to the faulty sensor and slammed shut on my hand I should mention I had the machine in setup mode which should have stopped that from happening but that's why it's so important to lock out a machine when there's a sensor or an electrical issue in those machines I was lucky my hand wasn't crushed as it was my hand basically turned into a single giant bruise that even made it down to the bones with the help of another co-worker I got my hand out and went and reported the accident to Jay company policy stated that I had to go to the hospital to have it checked out after having the machine inspected Jay knew I couldn't have done anything to prevent it but I still had to go take a drug test after the hospital visit as a formality well entitled manager got wind that I was involved in the accident and decided now would be a great time to press his luck he comes barging into Jay's office demanding to know why was stupid enough to put my hand inside a machine that everyone knew was messed up me because I didn't know it was messed up entitled manager that's BS you just wanted an excuse to go home I ignored him and kept my eyes focused on Jay while he finished filling out my paperwork I always knew you were a wimp but this is a near level even for you op what you can't stand working like a real man so you're just going home I keep ignoring him hey Opie Opie I'm talking to you he steps around in front of me and pokes me in the chest while still ranting at me him touching me was the last straw me J get this stupid jerk out of my face uh you've done it now he said triumphantly you can't talk to me like that I'm a manager I'll have you fired me do it please for the love of God fire me j o p come down just think about what you're saying me Jay I swear if he's still in this office in three seconds I'm going to pick up this chair and I'm not going to stop until it's broken or he is that shed entitled manager up for a minute anyway entitled manager Jay are you going to let him talk to me like that he just threatened me Jay entitled manager I'd advise you to shut up and leave op's a big guy and I'm too old to try and stop him if he decides to follow through entitled manager darted out of the room a few seconds later Jay you know you can't threaten people like that op I'll back you up this time because he was out of line but I won't be able to protect you next time me yeah thanks Jay I'll call you when I leave the hospital I said before leaving the office and driving myself 20 miles to the nearest hospital entitled manager never tried to harass me after that day in fact he did his best to avoid going anywhere near me after that day but he didn't exactly learn his lesson either I'll tell that story if anyone is interested in it update so unfortunately a few months after my accident I was moved to a different department this one dealt almost exclusively with lead products while I had mostly worked with steel and lead free products before then turns out I'm pretty allergic to being absolutely covered in lead dust so I was told they couldn't risk having me in the department anymore and let me go to this day I think the only reason I was moved was because of my altercation with entitled manager but I don't have any proof now a few of you asked why entitled manager was able to get away with so much the reason for that is simple nepotism entitled manager's dad was head of The Foundry for the better part of 30 years and while he didn't have quite as much pull as the owners he was well liked and most people treated his word as law so entitled manager was given a job straight out of high school and he had never worked anywhere else his dad covered for him at every opportunity until the day he retired then his friends continued the trend there was one incident where entitled manager took a hammer to a vending machine and the plant manager bought a new one without so much as a harsh look and entitled manager's Direction there was a whole mess surrounding my leaving that ended with the plant manager and entitled manager lying to a judge about why I left they tried to say that I was a bad employee who didn't deserve my unemployment wages which ultimately led to a trial which I won now most of this information comes from a few of my friends that still worked at the factory but I know it's true because it made it to the local papers the plant manager the one who had been protecting and title manager had his power severely stripped after the craft storm with a judge settled he had an assistant plant manager assigned to help him manage his workload which is a fancy way of saying they tasked someone with watching him because his biggest backer was essentially taken out of the pitcher entitled manager didn't enjoy the same leeway he did with me in fact it seemed the new plant manager really didn't like entitled manager so when entitled manager pushed another guy a little too far one day and he had a hammer range chucked at his head hard enough to shatter a window the thrower was just written up for breaking the window instead of fired or arrested for assault about eight months after I left the plant manager who had been protecting and title manager was let go by the company and for good reason he'd had the plant making parts that they didn't even have orders for and for those who don't know at the end of the year when it's time to report the earnings and inventory to the IRS you actually have to pay for the inventory you have on hand presumably as estimated income since it's assumed you had orders for them they had 10 30 foot tall 40 foot wide shelves full of baskets of Parts ready to be sold and not one of them had an order code assigned to them so the plant manager was gone after that blunder an intelligent person would have realized after that that it was time to stop being a jerk to people and that they were well and truly alone in the factory but no not entitled manager he didn't learn a darn thing despite Hammer wrenches being thrown at him his tires mysteriously going flat five times in a month and pretty much everyone in the factory hitting his guns why he wasn't just fired I honestly don't know but he wasn't until the day he landed the company in Evermore hot water so there was a truck driver who had been working for the parent company of the factory for 20-something years he was a well-liked soft-spoken man who had never been so much as written up in his 20 years he was also black which is important for this next part we'll call the truck driver TD for simplicity's sake this story was told to me by my friend G who was a machinist he was working about 10 feet away from truck driver when this happened one day while a truck driver was waiting for his truck to be loaded up entitled manager spots him standing around on his phone I heard he was talking to his wife but I don't actually know entitled manager hey what are you doing truck driver pulls his phone away from his ear I'm waiting for my truck to be loaded do you need something entitled manager well if you don't have anything better to do while you wait how about you go grab a broom and start sweeping you know actually make yourself useful for something other than blocking the path truck driver oh was I blocking you sorry I didn't realize tries to move out of the way didn't you hear me I said grab a broom and start sweeping that's not my job man but look if I'm bothering you I'll just wait outside until my truck is ready okay entitled manager that's what I hate about you definitely not saying that you're always trying to do anything you can to get out of work truck driver hangs up his phone and Tucks it in his pocket don't do that again do what you know darn well what you did I don't know what kind of bad day you're having but don't use that word entitled manager steps closer to truck driver what you said to me truck driver not backing down I said don't use that word entitled manager what are you going to do about it if I do then he called him it again he said while poking him in the chest what truck driver did was immediately after that word left entitled manager's mouth a second time he punched him now I've heard conflicting stories about this part some say he jumped on entitled man's chest and proceeded to beat him up until someone could get him off of him but G claims that he only hit him once and that one punch really messed him up just for good measure there was a forklift parked behind entitled manager at the time and that's what cushioned his fall the forklift driver sitting in the driver's seat swears he thought he'd been rear-ended by another forklift after entitled manager fell onto him an ambulance was called entitled manager was rushed to the hospital to undergo emergency surgery and truck driver was unfortunately arrested for assault don't worry though remember that plant manager who didn't like entitled manager he was at home at the time it happened but he made it to the factory before a truck driver was taken away in handcuffs he personally dropped a few hundred dollars and went around to everyone in the factory with a collections bag asking them to donate to pay truck driver's bail fund he had raised over 10 grand in less than an hour and had truck driver bailed out in three truck drivers sued the company for emotional damages discrimination and a couple of other things then he retired with the money he got from the case there were a lot of people who backed up his word that entitled manager started it and as for entitled manager he was fired before he woke up from his surgery's anesthetic the plant manager personally drove almost an hour on his day off to tell Untitled manager the good news in person and then waited for him to wake up just to make sure he got it he applied to several other management positions in the local area but he had burned a crap ton of bridges during his life and no one would hire him entitled manager now works as a food vendor at a traveling Carnival I still see him once a year when the carnival comes to town and he scowls at me every time like I personally ruined his life that look is the only reason I still go to that Carnival my boyfriend dumped me over the dumbest reason ever my sister is getting married on a Friday night and my boyfriend's birthday is the same weekend that Sunday he's turning 29 and this would be his third birthday we were together for you usually for his birthday we drive to the beach and spend the day there he was hoping to do the same this year however for my sister's wedding my family planned to rent a house right near the venue for a long weekend so we didn't feel rushed we got a house for Wednesday night through Sunday morning obviously my boyfriend is invited to the wedding and would be staying with me in the house my family rented if he chooses to and obviously we would get cake and go out to dinner etc for his birthday while we were at the rental house he wants to leave the rental house on Saturday a day early so we can drive home which is three hours and then drive to the beach the next morning for his birthday one and a half hour drive I want to spend the whole weekend with my family and I don't want to leave early my sister's getting married she's my best friend and I don't want to miss out on anything I feel like Saturday we're all going to be a little bit hungover we will probably take naps and spend the day talking about everything that happened at the wedding the house has a pool and a hot tub a pool table a fire pit Etc so we wanted to spend the day hanging out relaxing and Reminiscing on the wedding I don't want to get up that day pack up my stuff and rush home just to pack again for the beach and have to wake up early the next morning to drive to the beach he feels like by Sunday the wedding is over and now it's his birthday so I should be focusing on him instead of my sister I said his birthday happens once every year compared to my sister's wedding being a once in a lifetime event I offered to go to the beach the next day Monday or the next weekend Etc but he only wants to go on his birthday he's turning 29 years old and I feel like he should understand how important this event is to my family and to me and he shouldn't want to drag me away from it he broke up with me because I refuse to leave a day early I'm so frustrated why he can't see how important this is to me and how excited I am to be there and spend time with my family my parents and I also split the cost of the rental so for me to leave early would be a waste of my money he doesn't care about that because he didn't have to pay even though he'd be staying there with us I didn't ask him to pay his share because he's unemployed and doesn't have money for that not the jerk your boyfriend is a grown nearly 30 year old adult and can't wait a couple of days to celebrate his birthday he's never had a responsibility or something come up and had to move celebrations a bit this is your sister's hopefully only wedding and you're 100 right to want to celebrate it with her it's really kind of childish and selfish to expect your significant other to just drop everything over a birthday trip that could be done literally anytime and be celebrated the exact same way the fact that he broke up with you over it and didn't even entertain a conversation about it is a massive red flag not the jerk please don't get back together with him this is such icky weird Behavior the comments that are saying you're the jerk are weird and I also wouldn't want to date them don't feel bad feel relieved congratulations on being single and here's to finding someone 10 000 times better no regrets do not leave The Spill unintended a story of malicious compliance from many years ago when I was a teenager less than one year into my retail job where I did recovery basically tidying up your allocated department so it was neat and presentable for the following day there was a rule that if you found a spillage on the floor you had to have one person stay and guard this bill so that no customer would come along and slip in it and one person to go and get the cleaning supplies cart to clean it up or if it wasn't in its place and you couldn't find it then at least one of those yellow cautioned slippery floor signs to be put there on the day of this malicious compliance I was working in the household cleaning section which was right in the back corner of the store about halfway into my three hour shift I walked into an aisle and I discovered a bottle of dishwashing liquid had been knocked off the shelf and pretty much exploded leaving a pale yellow Sheen of liquid that covered almost the entire middle of the aisle I thought about the rule for a moment and then realized that because of where my department was I would be waiting a very long time for another staff member to even realize there was a spill let alone help and that it was unlikely customers would go down that aisle in the next few minutes anyway so I walked out of the aisle and went to go find the cleaning stuff but only got a few meters away from The Spill when I bumped into the store manager who will call Rey we had the following conversation paraphrased a bit since this was from around 20 years ago Ray how are you going with your department me good but there's a spill in the dishwashing aisle so I'm just going to get the cleaning card Rey who's standing to watch over it me no one the other staff don't really come up here so I was going to quickly go and Rey no you don't leave spills unattended what if a customer comes along and trips in it go back and stay there and make sure any customers who go down that aisle are aware of it me okay in that case can you please go get me the cleaning trolley so I can clean it up Ray no I need to go to a meeting upstairs just wait for another staff member to come past and ask them to get it for you in the meantime don't leave this bill unattended me but I was trying to say that because of how out of the way my department was it was unlikely another staff member would come past but he had walked off before I finished talking about 20 minutes before the recovery shift ended when Ray had gone home for the day and the store had closed the night manager Lucy was doing her rounds when she got to the dishwashing aisle she stopped Lucy why are you just standing there you haven't finished more than half of your department me there's a spill Lucy well why didn't you clean it up me I tried but Ray told me off I explained to her what had happened and she rolled her eyes and told me to go and get the cleaning cart so that she could clean it up after she let all the recovery staff go home after that they brought in a rule where if you had a spill and there were no staff around you were allowed to either leave a shopping basket over it or create a makeshift barrier around it with stock so that you could go and get the cleaning supplies yourself lose your temper on the hotel staff kiss your job goodbye I've moved from working as a waitress to working Hotel I've been doing it for four months now there are similarities and there are differences both jobs you have to deal with jurex I was a waitress but mostly Hostess in the restaurant industry so now I work front desk oh the joys sitting people is similar to checking people in the rooms my backstory over the hotel I work for has had the fortune of being booked out for three months by a company trial bases and if things work out it could turn into a year-long contract thus far everything has been running smooth and we like these people and they like us when I first started I of course experienced all types of people and my experience as a waitress slash Hostess has taught me very well how to handle them since this company bought us out very rarely do we get the Karens it's been two months into this Arrangement a week ago at around eight ish I check a gentleman in explain how things work he goes to his room my shift is about to end and my relief arrives he's always early it's 10 55 PM the gentleman I shall now name k calls the front desk my relief who shall be named R for Relief answers the phone and puts it on speaker hi he says I checked in a few hours ago and I don't like this room oh I'm sorry to hear this sir R says what's the problem with the room it's just too loud I can hear the highway I want to get a quieter room not facing the highway well sir it is a bit late and most of our rooms are checked in but if you could give us a moment we will call you back if we can find a room for you rnk hang up I'm trying to get all my things done so I can leave Aria is trying to get everything settled for his night auditing we shouldn't give him another room I tell R it's not that I don't want to help the guests I really do but we're limited on rooms and we have like 10 more reservations they booked their people for also since he settled in his room for a while I don't have housekeeping around to clean it up and give it to the next guest it's not like we're expecting these 10 people to show up this late but you never know they might show up and one of them will be out of a room just look for me he says so I do as requested and I find a room while also not sacrificing one of the ten it's a courtyard facing room yeah let's all dance I make all the changes and call the guy to inform him we have found him a room not facing the highway hello okay this is front desk we have a room for you I cheerfully inform him the clock strikes 11 pm and I'm exhausted and I want to go home but I want to make sure this is settled before I leave what room is it so I tell him hear the fun part begins no I don't want that room he informs me it will be near the lobby and during the daytime the lobby will be too loud I take a moment to collect myself well I'm sorry sir I say with my best sugary goodness voice ever because my I will hurt you voice wants to come out and I know that could lose us this contract and thus far I want to keep this contract because until this moment I haven't had to deal with any jerks it's refreshing but you want a courtyard facing room I found you a courtyard facing room it is 11 pm tonight and if you are unaware we are booked solid and are limited on the rooms we have available R stops what he's doing and his interest is peaked he comes forward and places the call on speaker so he can hear Kay stops using his friendly voice well that is unacceptable he says I demand a better room because I'm not staying in this room because it's too loud and I refuse to take the other room R who has been with this hotel for such a long time starts to chime in and I can see that he's ready to match this guy's tone I stop him my waitressing and hosting skills have come forward I want to make sure I get my tip while also putting someone in their place still in my best sugary goodness voice that will get you cavities I respond well sir it is late and like I've said we cannot accommodate your request if you get checked in earlier like at 3 pm it cuts me off well I wasn't here at 3pm I checked in at 8pm now it's time for him to insert company into this I work for Blink and I demand I get this service my company is paying for me to stay here and I want a better room I continue as if he didn't interrupt me I would have been able to switch rooms for you as I had plenty of rooms facing Courtyard but you checked in late it is 11 pm and unfortunately because your company has booked the whole hotel almost every room once again he's cutting me off R is ready wanting to speak but I shake my head I whisper I got this I work for Blink company and I want a different room he says nearly yelling I wonder if people are aware that you yelling makes us want to help you less again continuing as if he never interrupted me is booked now I have found a room for you and it is yours so you can either take this room or stay in yours he grows silent because he knows I'm not budging finally he speaks this is unacceptable I will let blank know about this so are you staying in your room or switching rooms well I don't want that room and you're being a jerk and not finding me a better room it takes every ounce of energy for me not to lose it on this guy so I'm a jerk because I can't give you something I don't have well sir I begin and have resorted to my favorite treating him like a first grade teacher treats a little kid we don't use that kind of language when we aren't getting our way we should express ourselves in other ways I'm truly sorry that it's very late at night and we cannot accommodate you and I'm so sorry to tell you but the room I was trying to offer you is no longer available it was given away I'm ticked and I will let the company know about this well I am sorry sir and please feel free to tell your company this I will be surely telling them about this interaction as well and telling them that you've used this kind of language with me I hope he hangs up like dude you're asking late at night and think we can do it R applauds me and says girl if it was me I would have done things differently but I love your approach I put in my report about the whole conversation and the next day when I come in my manager pulls me aside and tells me the guest complained about me to the company saying I wasn't being accommodating boss said he read my report looked at everything talked to R and guess what his room is no longer occupied I found out a couple of days later the guy got fired for being rude what these people don't know is that his company told us to tell them when they are being unkind to us because if they are they're fired if they can be rude to us then they don't want them working for them Karen wife demands my son remove a social media post about her my wife and I are both in our mid-30s and we have a 14 year old son I've been a stay-at-home dad all of his life while my wife has been more hands off due to a somewhat demanding job still some basic facts that anyone with even a surface level knowledge of our kid knows is that he's a good kid he gets good grades and he's well behaved he's maybe a little spoiled but aren't they all my point is I've rarely had to step in and deliver any real punishments thanks to open and consistent dialogue between the two of us I have a long time friend who plays in a decently popular local band he's a father figure to my son and they also have a very close Bond thanks to similar interests my son has always been the artsy type and he's so excited when my friend comes over because it means he can show him the latest guitar he's added to his collection or a new Rift that he's learned during my friend's recent visit he mentioned going on tour soon and my son was intrigued after pressing for details he came to me later and asked if he could go with them on his fall break he had plenty of promises at the ready that he would listen to whatever friend said that he would be on his best behavior that he would never ask for anything ever again after talking it out with him I gave him a maybe I reached out to my friend for his thoughts and he was all for it I figured he wouldn't mind since he has a son around my son's age who goes on tour with him occasionally another thing my son had mentioned while pleading his case to me I asked my wife and after a very brief conversation she agreed fast forward to the beginning of last week when he got packed up and set to leave my wife asked where he was going I reminded her and she said she thought I was joking I had no idea what part of it sounded like a joke but she claimed my son wasn't allowed to go I eventually persuaded her after our kid went to his room in near tears when he arrived home yesterday I had never seen him so happy he got to help the Roadies set up for the shows he got led into bars he intentionally didn't wash off one of the X's from the back of his hands just so that he could come home with it and show it to me and friend was singing his Praises over how helpful he was a few hours later my son made his social media post compiling photos from his time on tour the caption was a long one but included such gyms as this almost didn't happen thanks Mom and Friends spent a lot of his free time with me unlike my mom this led to a pretty big argument where my wife upon being alerted to the post's existence demanded that he'd take it down he refused so she turned to me and asked me to talk to him I refused I told her that while I didn't think what he was doing was right it was clearly coming from somewhere and that somewhere was a place in which he was feeling unheard and ignored by her she's been ignoring me since am I the jerk edit to answer a question slash comment I see commonly coming off I'm not encouraging my son to air our dirty laundry on social media I just don't think the first move should be to tell him to delete it when there's clearly legitimate hurt motivating what he's saying we're the parents we can't move on impulse based on our feelings it might be the gut reaction to ask him to delete them but instead I want us to take a pause and come to him with empathy and understanding where we discuss the matter together and help him decide what's best as a lot of you are saying this definitely is a teachable moment and not one that can be easily impressed onto him by just saying delete the post and not reinforcing the why along with more positive ways to express himself edit too please save your get a job comments I plan to once my son gets his license however even if I didn't plan on rejoining the workforce there's nothing wrong with former stay-at-home Partners who choose to be Homemakers my wife and I mutually agreed on this Dynamic and she very much prefers working this is not a productive addition to the conversation update hi all this has certainly been a journey I definitely knew that there was a stigma against a more gentle approach to Parenting but I never knew it was this large when my son woke up this morning I took him out for breakfast where we had to talk about everything just as I mentioned in a comment I wanted to have a talk with him in a way that led him to see what he had done wrong and hopefully independently Inspire him to fix the post pretty quickly into our discussion he pulled out his phone and showed me that he already had he said he had started feeling guilty and changed it the night before if this hadn't been the case or if he had refused to make changes I would have put him on a two-week social media ban because despite what some people in the comments have said I do set boundaries with my kid discipline typically falls on the parent who is around their kid the most in my experience we discussed how it can feel good to get things like this off our chests on social media that it's a thrill to be a little petty and have people see it but that the excitement is short-lived obviously he agreed as he was already feeling guilty I suggested journaling writing a letter and giving it to me his mom or another trusted adult that he can vent his grievances to Etc I reassured him that his feelings were valid and I wanted him to express them just not in a public Arena where if he gets too used to running to social media he could say something really inflammatory and awful in a moment of anger and then really really regret it this was obviously an open discourse between the two of us social media is a precarious place for young men to be right now in certain circumstances I feel luck lucky that I fostered a bond with my son where he can openly talk to me about what he's viewing his thoughts on social media Etc it was a good conversation that we've had in the past and one we will revisit frequently in the future thankfully he has male role models in his life that provide him with positive views on masculinity so he doesn't need to run to the jerks of the world finally the conversation turned to his relationship with his mom this part feels incredibly personal and despite this being an anonymous platform I'd prefer to keep the nuances of my son's inner emotions regarding feeling ignored to myself but I can tell you we've decided to have a family meeting before dinner tonight to discuss Solutions like family therapy I'm committed to helping Foster a connection between them in whatever way I can I think that this best can be done with the help of a therapist or a mediator my own relationship with my wife and what that will look like in the future needs some fixing as well most of all I want us to be strong co-parents and quick side note because I saw it coming up frequently he wasn't exposed to anything he shouldn't have seen in the bars he hung out with the other Roadies drank mocktails but a majority of the time he was by the soundboard his very very interested in that as a future career path and this just ignited an even deeper love for live music I appreciate the concern but I'm not letting my 14 year old do more than maybe have a sip of my wine at dinner because he wanted to taste it thank you for everyone who engaged me in a polite manner I definitely agree I was the jerk in some aspects here I could have acted sooner and rectified the situation last night I need to work on communication with my wife I need to do more in supporting her connection with our kid the advice was appreciated I'm opening to answering any more questions in the comments call me crazy but I think op sounds like a really good dad but you know the people on Reddit are probably gonna tear him a new one let's see what they thought about him of course your wife is ignoring you you're supporting your son publicly disrespecting your wife because of a simple misunderstanding between you two about the tour your son is 14. yes there will be plenty of times where he's upset with either of you and will want to vent but you just told him it's okay to passively aggressively post those emotional and hurtful words publicly you just supported him in hurting your wife instead of teaching your son to handle those emotions in a healthy and respectful way I wouldn't be surprised if you always play cool friend to your son and force your wife to always be the bad cop you're the jerk this I 100 agree with this me too it's important for parents to back each other up if this guy keeps up the You and Me Against your mean old mom act he's going to destroy his own marriage your kid is still that a kid you're the jerk you're teaching him that airing your dirty laundry in public is A-Okay better than actually talking with your family about your problems unless your wife is actually crazy this all sounds like it came from a verbal misunderstanding when she agreed did she say something like haha yeah of course he can go on tour unsupervised with a band for a week you said the conversation was very brief why is your communication so good with your son it's really not if you won't even tell him you disapprove of what he's doing but so crappy with your wife ETA a lot of your replies keep showing how much time you spend with your friend parenting your son how your wife is never around do you happen to have an art studio in your home for this friend yo I also just read the part where your son was led into bars during this trip and you were happy about that you really are a terrible parent also for those curious he answered the brief convo question in another comment he said to his wife that the tour lined up with their son's fall break and he wanted to go she responded literally sounds doable and that was the last time they spoke about it edit for op's update man completely misses the mark in every way how his wife can put up with this guy is beyond me your son edited the post you told him it was okay what he wrote was valid then blamed your wife again for being a distant parent you never told him it was your fault she wasn't aware the trip was planned without her involvement don't plan to apologize to your wife and don't plan to have your son apologize either I feel bad for your wife and worse for your son if you teach him that treating his mom like this is a good example of what a man should be you weren't the jerk in some ways you're just a jerk even now period you're the jerk your wife works so you can be a stay-at-home dad to a 14 year old and your son hasn't figured out why his mum is busy you're clearly failing them both teaching your son to be spoiled and to only respect what you have to say and showing your wife you're only using her to fund your lifestyle and her thoughts and feelings are meaningless because she's too busy funding said lifestyle you have the time and pull to teach your son right from wrong and it only matters when it comes to you your wife has trusted you to not only be a great dad but to be a great partner by being the one to work and you fail to do that your son should know better than to disrespect his mother in such a public way and get enjoyment from hurting her feelings she could communicate more but you and your son are both being inconsiderate about how her time is used and that's your fault for raising him to Value you over her well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his wife please let us know I guess it really is a good thing we don't have any kids because I I think op sounds like a great dad my girlfriend didn't appreciate the concert I took her to earlier this year I gifted my girlfriend who's 33 female tickets to a concert that she really wanted to go to that was this past Friday night I'm 36 male and not a fan of her music nor the fact that this concert was in the city but I wanted to make it a great gift she was elated when I told her that I bought the VIP package meet and greet pitches with the bands Etc last week my girlfriend began asking if we had to get to The Venue early being the thorough detailed person than she is I assured her that I would check instead I was too busy with work honestly it was getting a bit annoying that almost every few days she would ask so I told her I didn't see anything while deleting a bunch of emails from the venue for concerts I don't even care about on Friday afternoon she told me that she had tried looking things up and was only finding that the doors opened at seven with that I picked her up at six and we arrived at the venue for seven once inside she showed security our tickets and asked about the meet and greet the bouncer informed us that the VIP was at six I froze now my girlfriend turns to me asking if I received any kind of emails the tickets were in my name I told her that I deleted emails and she seemed to understand I actually really enjoyed the whole time so once her band set ended we decided to not stay for the last band and this is where the trouble began it's 10 pm we're outside of the venue and she suggests that we go to a bar a block away and either walk or ride share immediately I said there was not a chance she mentioned that my car was in a secured lot and we wouldn't be far but I lost my cool which I admit was not the best way to go about things and I told her you don't go out in the city there's crime all over the place she responded that we were in the city I went off how I can't stand it here so she said that we'll just leave no raising of her voice she just said she was fine with leaving she was silent on the way back and I suggest that we go back to my place to finish out the night and she refused this also upset me because I asked what was wrong with the bar next to my apartment and she shut that down with her short responses overall the night cost me over three hundred dollars and while she's saying more to me now as opposed to Friday night she's being very distant she told me she could live with not going to the meet and greet except for how things turned out afterwards and that is when the disappointment truly set in my response was that I was only bringing her to the concert nowhere else and thinking of her safety she continued that I shouldn't have bought the tickets if I was only tolerating doing so I do accept that I made some mistakes chiefly with making us miss the meet and greet the timing of the concert should have made this an unfortunate experience since her grandmother just passed am I the jerk you're the jerk you deliberately deleted emails despite knowing she wanted to be sure of the details because you found it annoying that she asked as a result she missed what was almost certainly the main part of the gift for her the chance to meet the artist which was also the point of buying the VIP package so you wasted your money too then you patronizingly told her that there wasn't a chance you'd do something else when she was trying to salvage some measure of specialness out of her ruined night you made an ignorant generalization that cities are full of crime acted like a petulant kid when she didn't want to go to the bar near your apartment which isn't exactly a special or memorable thing to do if you go there all the time and finally you misrepresented the whole thing as being about you not being sufficiently enthusiastic about the band this isn't about you tolerating the night out it's about you ruining it the fact your girlfriend just got quiet and withdrawn instead of pushing back worries me that you've got a history of losing your cool that makes her afraid for her safety if she speaks out don't forget his petulance was actually about her not wanting to go to the bar near op's apartment but that she didn't want to finish out the night in other words op was upset that he dropped three hundred dollars and wasn't rewarded that jumped out to me too no one has ever owed that sort of thing op you're the jerk and a horrible partner based on this incident people generally portray themselves in the best possible light for you to clearly be a massive jerk I wonder how awful your actual Behavior was I feel sorry for your girlfriend not the jerk bro you're saying all the things out loud that you're only supposed to talk about with your boys this sounds like a story one of my friends would tell me posting it here on Reddit where everyone doesn't like dudes is not the right place imagine if the roles were flipped they'd all be telling her how ungrateful you are and that she deserves better Real Talk bro this is why when you're dating someone you still need a few friends with benefits on the side bro if I drop 300 on some stupid date night like you did which I seriously hope you never do again but still didn't get anything in return you bet your backside I'd be calling up a few of my hookup buddies later that night and finding out who's ready to rock that's the thing about dating bro we take them out on dates and spend money because we want the reward it's called Mutual benefit sorry sweetheart but there ain't no dudes who want to take you out and spend 300 on you just for the honor of having your company there's only one thing us dudes care about but most are too too afraid to admit it as for the crime in the city you're right bro I grew up in the city so I know what goes on downtown at night it's people like your girlfriend that honestly make themselves perfect targets for criminals in the city she doesn't sound very smart bro and I hope you aren't serious with her get mad all you want I'm speaking straight facts and all my dudes out there know this but most would never admit it how to get downvotes on Reddit 101 well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his girlfriend please let us know hey Reddit boy hurry up and finish these stories so we can finish out tonight you want updates you got it so one of my first IIT jobs I worked for was the corporate headquarters of a Midwestern sandwich chain my brother's best friend was the I.T manager of this place and was given full Reign to hire anyone he wanted we had previously worked together in another place and he liked my work ethic so he ended up asking if I'd take the job of course I said yes since I genuinely enjoyed working alongside this friend and I thought it would be cool to report to him anyway a few months go by and everything's going well I had met and enjoyed mostly everyone in the IT department then one day the CEO congratulates me and welcomes a new CTO this confused me as I thought that my friend's boss was the CTO but I then was told that he was actually an interim CTO this whole time so being green and naive I decided to take it upon myself to meet the new CTO the conversation goes more or less like so me hi my name is Jerry I'm one of the help desk technicians here it's a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to working with you I stick out my hand to shake hands with CTO they Blank Stare at my hand then back at me me uh yeah so if you need anything or have any questions I will do my best to help CTO so just because I am a woman I need help and what exactly can a help desk help me with don't offer to help me unless I ask for it got it my friend saw this and was honestly shocked to this day that entire exchange still haunts me in any case I moved on and ensured to try to stay out of the cto's way I decided I wanted to just do my job and work with my friend the entire time I worked there my friend had kept me in the loop with all his projects and his work so that I could hopefully be successful in the field then one day when I get to the office I'm informed that my friend was fired by a demand of the CTO since he was not meeting expectations despite all the reports showing that his leadership and changes did in fact yield very high ratings for Ticket closures and customer satisfaction that same day the CTO comes to the help desk room and walks up to me she then says hey you you worked alongside that manager right well I'm making you the interim manager since you know most everything he was working on I felt like this was two slaps to the face one being that she didn't refer to me by my name and the other but she gives me my friend's job the same day he was fired a few weeks go by and I just experienced going to meeting after meeting I keep getting told that performance ratings and customer satisfaction is dropping in particular the biggest gripe that was reported was that work orders were not getting any updates for days on end and that the requesters were beginning to feel that we were ignoring their issues I tried to reply with a plan that I had to help alleviate this but the CTO said we will make sure this is fixed and would not let me speak after all those meetings the CTO sets up a meeting with myself the director of infrastructure we'll call him Matt and the previous interim CTO who will call Joe CTO okay how are we going to fix the problem with the work orders me well I've got a plan that should help with this see what I need to do is canvas the tickets and see what CTO if I needed a plan I would have asked for it I want an answer now me okay well I'm trying to give you the answer which is a part of this plan CTO then it's useless if you can't get to the answer any other ideas at this point we all stayed fairly silent and the CTO was just more or less rambling to herself at the end her response was glorious CTO okay so moving forward no matter what it is I want every ticket to be updated immediately with anything that is going on with the request as it is being worked on me everything that's going on with the request immediately as it happens are you sure about that I feel like this is going to beat CTO I know what I said if I have to repeat myself consider yourself out of a job me silence for a second and then understood she then proceeds to send an email summarizing almost everything that happened in the meeting she then writes that I had no constructive information to provide but again see her plan there it was then that it occurred to me cue malicious compliance I go back to the help desk room to announce the immediate change me hey everyone just wanted to give you a heads up that moving forward you are to provide every work order with any and all updates possible that includes anything from looking at the ticket to moving a laptop to typing on it just anything you do must be related and entered into a ticket tech one um you want everything in the tickets me yep you heard that right everything as you work on the tickets keep those updates coming Tech two but if we did that we could potentially trigger the spam filters also it's going to flood the requester's mailboxes did you mention this to the CTO me she didn't care about it it's apparently not constructive information the the other four technicians stayed silent one of them said a storm is brewing this is going to be fun and we all laughed knowing what was going to happen I went to the email that the CTO said regarding the summary of our meeting and open it in its own window on my computer I then continued to do as she had asked and so did the other technicians it wasn't even an hour before our updates were beginning to get blocked by the spam filters and we started getting emails from the requesters asking us why we were updating the work order so much others asking to be removed from future ticket updates and many demanding to speak to a manager regarding this sudden disturbance I updated the IT Help Desk email with an automatic reply that said something along the lines of the following thank you for your message if this is in regards to your ticket updates rest assured that we have your best interest in mind a new policy is in place to provide you with as much transparency to your it requests this is in hopes to provide a better customer service experience please rest assured that we are aware of the amount of tickets this may produce we hope to provide further support to you and look forward to completing your request shortly Community it help desk it was not long after this that the CEO came into the help desk room and demanded to know what was going on I could tell he was ready to fire someone when I calmly said good afternoon sir we are simply following orders and pointed at my screen to the email with the meeting summary the CEO looked at me and growled follow me as we were walking we passed by mats Joe's and the cto's office each time the CEO growling at them in my office now we get to his office and the conversation goes like this CEO what the heck is going on me I will reiterate I'm only following the orders CEO and what exactly were those orders me I reiterate the orders here's the email from the CTO regarding this order CTO sir I can explain I was just thinking that CEO and did no one stop to think what issues this would cause mad well Jerry did try to explain a plan to the CTO Joe if I'm not mistaken Jerry knows that if the exchange servers detect multiple updates coming out like this in a small time window it triggers a Spam blocker me and that's why my plan was to update each ticket only once a day rather than after every single thing that was done towards the request CTO I asked you to update at the end of the day with everything that happened with the work orders seal according to your summary you did ask for Ticket updates as they occurred and Jerry's team provided this why did you not listen to Jerry's plan of action CTO well sir I've been working in the field since before 2000. what can someone like Jerry provide me with seal well he can provide you with the information to tell you why your idea has just caused the company a ton of money since now our Exchange Server got overloaded me when I was talking about canvassing I was trying to say that I wanted to reach out to each locations manager to compile a list of tickets to update in a scheduled manner rather than do them all at once but since he wouldn't listen to me and even threaten to fire me I only complied with your plan CTO I cannot believe this is happening why am I being targeted here at this point the CEO asked Matt Joe and me to leave while he had a word with the CTO on what teamwork means several minutes later the network infrastructure team was able to reboot the exchange servers and remove the IT Help Desk mailbox from the spam filters I later provided a mass email update to the organization apologizing for any inconveniences that were caused and that I would be reaching out to provide plan support I would soon find out that the CTO was placed on an unpaid leave until further investigation were pending I ended up quitting a few months after that since after the incident the CTO was frequently trying to take her Grudge out on Joe Matt and me I did leave reporting the incidents to HR I did later find out that the CTO was terminated and arrested for embezzlement am I the jerk for telling my wife she was so close to getting her dream job I'm a 33 year old man and my wife is 27. since the start of our relationship my wife has been very particular about how things get done and tends to believe that she knows the one true correct way for anything related to anything she has admitted that she can be a control freak while this bothers me it's never been a true deal breaker in our relationship very often when I do just about anything whether it be a household chore assembling a piece of furniture taking a pitcher or writing a presentation for work in a field where I have a master's degree and she has no formal education she'll do this thing where she'll condescendingly say you were so close to getting it right really drawing out the so close part I've told her dozens of times that I'd prefer for her to stop doing this because it sounds so condescending but she insists that she's complimenting me I did the dishes and placed them out to dry in an orientation she doesn't approve of you were so close next time put them that way I take a picture of her you were so close next time angle the camera this way I complete a project at work and show her the results he was so close next time write it this way for the last two months my wife has been undergoing an intensive hiring process for a job in our city she works in a highly Niche field and seldom finds job openings and therefore she was ecstatic to have the opportunity for a relatively well-paying job doing what she wants to do she got to the very final stage where the company was considering two people coincidentally the other of whom was her college roommate well on Friday she got the call telling her thanks for her application but blah blah blah record on file All That Jazz my wife came to me crying I immediately comforted her and said you were so close blurted out her head whipped up and she asked what I meant by that I said she was so close to getting the job but was just a bit off she immediately walked out to stay at her friend's house where she is currently sulking she finally sent me a text this afternoon calling me a huge jerk was I unnecessarily being a jerk here man you were so close to being the jerk but after all that you've endured not the jerk everyone sucks here your wife is a jerk for constantly giving minor backhanded insults you're the jerk for kicking her while she was down y'all could really benefit from some counseling actually I don't find op saying you were so close to be kicking her while she was down I think the issue here is that the wife felt insulted because that is what she was doing to op all along the way I interpret Ops so close statement is that the wife was so close to getting the job which is true it was between her and her old roommate in the final round and the roommate got the job this goes to show that the wife has a guilty conscience not the jerk you just confirmed that every time she's thrown that line at you it was never meant as a compliment she got a taste of her own crappy medicine and didn't like it it's too bad she didn't get the job but maybe she'll realize how awful it sounds to say you were so close op I want to be completely honest as other people are asking that it wasn't my intention to give her a taste of her own medicine I just heard that phrase so many times in so many different situations that it was legitimately the first thing that came to mind she really was so close that's what I was trying to say that she was so close when she reacted with shock that I'd say such a thing with her I do admit that I doubled down because I've heard it literally hundreds of times well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his wife please let us know I have a reminder on my phone to leave a one star Google review for a woman who was nasty to me when I worked as a server I used to work as a server slash bartender and now I have a white collar job traveling a lot and earning a higher than average wage back when I was serving this woman came in with her husband they were high maintenance and really strange she's in her 50s early 60s and he is in his 30s they came in for their anniversary and they sat in my section I treated them to two glasses of champagne she was so grateful until her french onion soup came out it wasn't Brown enough for her fair enough I had the kitchen fix it after that she had so many more complaints I wish I could remember them all I do remember she was incredibly rude and generally awful she forgot about her free champagne and left me a crappy review on OpenTable and doxed me I tried to get OpenTable to take down my full name as it revealed my place of work and general location and they refused when I quit my restaurant job and was hired at my firm I left her a Google review about her on her business page Monday was my anniversary reminder she had finally had the last one removed so I opened a new Google account and did it again within four hours I had my ex-boss trying to call me I didn't answer and just blocked him so it would go to voicemail he tried calling again the next day so instead of calling him back I sent this woman an email to propose a truce I haven't heard back from her and I'm going to just remind her again next October 10th when I rinse and repeat I'm still laughing about her calling a boss I had two years ago thinking he can make me take down a review and I'm laughing all over again about how Petty and immature this is but I'm loving every minute of it Karen girlfriend demands I stop being friends with her dad me and my girlfriend Corey who are both 27 have been together for five years now I've known her family for a long time and have formed a good relationship with her dad we both Golf and watch sports together I consider him a friend like three years ago it came out through a third party that Corey's mom was having an affair her dad moved out and her mom went nuts I was staying out of it for a bit but I refused to accompany Corey to her mom's house I don't mess with cheaters and just left her mom alone unless it was a big holiday or an important event at her mom's place this whole time Corey was pushing her dad to reconcile with her mom she begged him to try counseling and talked about forgiveness I don't know what happened but Corey's dad eventually gave in and went to counseling they reconciled two years ago then it became this weird situation where Corey's mom seemed to enjoy bringing up her affair she would post on social media how forgiveness and the church brought them back together constantly talking about the power of prayer as a man I could see how much her dad hated it in my opinion he was only sticking around for the sake of the family in February this year Corey's dad left in the middle of the night according to Corey's mom her dad told me that he left a note he moved in with a woman he had been seen they're now divorced and Corey's dad is living with this woman I've maintained my friendship with him I told him I can't really blame him as he was in a no-win situation Corey on the other hand has been a nightmare she's blocked her dad bashes him to friends and family gets mad at me for carrying on our relationship with him she also goes to her mom's house regularly to comfort her mom none of this she did to her mom whenever she cheated years ago instead saying that they worked past that together last night I called her a hypocrite in front of her brother saying that she never blamed her mom instead preached forgiveness she never cut off her mom she never went over to her dad's rental alone to comfort him only push him to reconcile she then demanded I stopped talking to her dad I said I'm an adult who doesn't let others dictate their relationships that me and her dad do not discuss her in any form we talk about baseball so no I wouldn't stop because she wants to be a hypocrite and not hold her mom accountable for what happened I recommended therapy for her but was called a jerk for this I don't think I need to apologize as calling her a hypocrite is accurate am I the jerk everyone sucks here Corey's mom for cheating and thinking things can just go back to normal but dwelling on the whole situation she also sucks for being blind to what was going on with her husband Corey's dad sucks for cheating and then moving in with the other woman if he left in the middle of the night and moved in with a woman he had been seeing you think he wasn't cheating I almost wonder if payback wasn't on his mind Corey sucks for not owning up to what's been going on and taking sides when it appears that both parents have Fidelity and other issues you for siding with Corey's Dad when it appears he was probably cheating on Corey's mom but saying Corey is a hypocrite when she downplayed her mom's cheating I don't blame the dad because the mom was literally just rubbing salt in the wounds after they got back together it almost seemed like she took it as a victory to hold over his head like I guess he could have broken up before he actually started to date this new woman but it seems like a relatively insignificant point to me she wasn't treating it like a romantic relationship anymore why should he I'll agree op probably is the jerk for blowing up at her a bit but like you said she was being the jerk too cheating is not okay if the dad felt like the mom wasn't turning over a new Leaf get a divorce then get a girlfriend sounds like Mom and Dad had a pretty toxic relationship you're the jerk it's weird how you start out saying I stayed out of it and then proceed to describe how you did not in fact stay out of it so many comments like this but you guys are not empathetic you can condemn what the father did and that's fair they cheated not even op is denying that but the situations are blatantly different let's take a look one mother cheats there isn't a real motivation as she later comes back to him crying she cries because she gets caught not because she regrets it her daughter fully supports her through the separation and together bully the father into reconciliation then she proceeds to brag about her Victory father is in an unhappy relationship his daughter doesn't care about him he finds someone else and then proceeds to escape with his new lover Not Looking Back the mother was moved by a selfish and temporary desire the father was moved by a need to escape a horrible situation and yes he could have left before he started dating the other woman but since the last time when he tried to escape his ex didn't work you really think that he could do it alone this time not the jerk one way to solve these kinds of issues is to have an open marriage instead of the Antiquated just me and you crap my husband and I have had a happily open marriage for the past four years and it couldn't be better I get to have all the fun I want with whoever I want and he doesn't get to complain whatsoever like he used to he tries to meet women online but to be honest he's a pretty average looking guy so most women just aren't interested in him he's only had two other partners over the last four years and both of them were maybe around a two or three when I'm a solid 9 to 10 but again I get to meet new guys just about every week while hubby takes care of pretty much all of the house chores he even had to go in no contact with his family because his parents didn't approve of our lifestyle I've convinced a few of my friends to shift their marriage in this direction also because I know how happy and fulfilled it makes me the old way of marriage won't exist anymore eventually it's so repressive and is only meant to hold us back while only benefiting him why were the dinosaurs the lucky ones who got the comment we deserve it so much more well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his girlfriend please let us know am I the jerk for spending my daughter's tuition money our daughter is 20 female and she recently decided to go back to college after taking a year off she dropped out of college after only a few months saying it wasn't for her we adamantly advised against it but she ended up moving in with her boyfriend and started working in his family's restaurant business there was still a little north of thirty thousand dollars set aside in the account I set aside for her tuition money my wife and I had been wanting to remodel our kitchen for a while so we decided to go ahead with that money well now my daughter has decided to go back to college because it didn't work out with her boyfriend and she didn't like any of the jobs she had following that she was shocked that we had used her College money towards the house even though we had this conversation before she left she asked if she could have access to her College tuition account before she moved in with her boyfriend to which we explicitly said no and said that it was saved for her tuition only and nothing else and that if she left we'd use it for something else she said she thought we were bluffing and didn't actually mean it and that we need to help her pay for college since we are still paying for her younger brother's yearly tuition I told her that she needs to work part-time and go to a cheaper place like Community College rather than a state school she's been angry over this and ignoring her mother's phone calls her mother has said maybe we can still help her out financially but we're nearing our retirement age and a little behind our retirement goals so I don't want to take away from our savings just because my daughter made some bad choices I feel like I've given her good Alternatives and even offered to let her stay at our house free of Rin so that she can just focus on paying for college am I the jerk this situation is Harsh on your daughter but not a jerk she made a decision to drop out and with that came you telling her that you'd use that remaining college fund money for something else I also presume that at the time of her dropping out she presented her decision as permanent since she said that college wasn't for her meaning that you don't know how long she would have taken to go back to college if she went back at all but I thought you were bluffing is a feeble response you don't get to use that line when you're making a life-changing decision and are given conditions by the people financing you she just learned a very expensive lesson op said in a comment below having just gotten my youngest into college I'm no longer in the parenting mood as a parent I'm getting odd vibes from that tone and how quickly op moved to disappear money into a kitchen when apparently they're behind on retirement can they sure but as a parent it's weird to jump to that so fast did op ever investigate whether the boyfriend was mistreating her in any way whether he stirred things coercively regarding her dropping out whether he was the one pressuring for access to the college account when she asked why exactly she left College to work for his family I was in a relationship like that at that age and my parents don't know about it to this day it took me years to even be able to label what happened because I was too young to see it for what it was and it took me two years to get out how well does OP know what happened action should have consequences and I personally don't think that parents owe their kids a college education but it's weird to me to put a ton of work into spending years saving five figures to give your kid a leg up in life and then decide you're done when they make very predictably poor decisions at 19 or 20. there are lots of ways to reteach responsibility like only matching any scholarship funds they earn on their own or only reinstating partial support after X semesters completed I would not have saved for years and then washed my hands of helping so fast personally ETA to clarify no I'm not asserting that she was mistreated or saying that's the only explanation I'm asking if op is actually as checked out as they're saying they are do they know why the daughter stopped going did they keep an eye out for the danger signs did they create a parent-child relationship where their daughter could go to them with hard things I've seen first and second hand some scary situations that college students get into ranging from run-of-the-mill short-sightedness to things like mental illness learning disability addiction PTSD from on-campus attacks and so on given that those things are a reality what does OP consider their role to be or are they done parenting is more than deciding which whether to bankroll or not a parent can let their kids suffer the consequences of deciding to drop out sure but if the kid was struggling and the parent didn't create a feeling of safety growing up didn't check in regularly has no idea what's really happening in their kids life I'm not going to accept their framing of the situation as the fairness of a Financial Choice info needed you spent thirty thousand dollars on a kitchen remodel that's not retirement goals and she only took a year off and you spent all of it already I don't know I actually think you're the jerk for not having the foresight or consideration that she might regret the boyfriend thing and spending the money that quickly a lot of kids make mistakes during college especially because it was just a year off you didn't need to jump to using that money I get she made the choice and the mistake over a boy but you could have been a safety net for her parents are supposed to account for the fact that kids make stupid mistakes and choices you took it as an opportunity to make sure she can't bounce back quickly over something cosmetic and superficial and you did it really quickly which is kind of gross well who do you think is the jerk op or their daughter please let us know she made her bed now she gets to lie in it enjoy your new kitchen you deserve it I moved out while my parents were on vacation I 20 female have three siblings who live at home Three Brothers one who's 22 one who's 15 and one who's 12. my older brother does not work and does not go to school my middle and youngest brothers are in middle and high school I've been taking care of them for about six years now my parents both work I'm the only one who cleans and makes food and takes care of the dogs I have access to a car that I share with my brother but he takes it to go see his friends and hook up with randoms so I've had to bring home Groceries on the bus because oh yeah I also do the grocery shopping try talking to my parents about it but they say that my brother is finding himself and the younger ones have to concentrate on school I'm in my third year of college and it's Wrecking me my boyfriend who's 24 has talked to his parents and they're letting me move into the apartment over their garage he will be paying the rent for the apartment he lives at home rent free but he also graduated and has a great job so we talked about it and it is fair we are committed to each other but we are way too young to think about moving in together or getting married I'm not saying that this is too young for anyone else we just know what we want in life and until I get my Nursing degree and get a job we aren't ready my parents went away this weekend for NASCAR in Vegas it's their third vacation this year I do not begrudge them for their holidays they both work hard but I am tired of being an unpaid Nanny slash dog sitter so I grabbed my laptop clothes and a few other things that I've been gifted I waited for my older brother to get home and I left I told him I was going out for milk but my boyfriend was waiting in the car around the corner he started texting me about 20 minutes later saying he needed the car I didn't take the car I left all the keys on the counter even my house keys my grandparents paid for my education so there's literally nothing my parents can hold over me I let him know I wasn't coming back and I let my parents know after the last race that I had left him in charge of the younger kids and bailed they drove straight home instead of spending the night partying and driving home today everyone is mad at me for being so immature and thoughtless I just don't care anymore I talked to my grandfather and he says that I'm right and my brothers can look after themselves my mom keeps calling and complaining that the house is a mess I was only gone for nine hours before they got home but my brothers are pigs my older brother is saying that I'm a jerk because my parents are making him do everything that I used to do I cannot find it in myself to give a hoot am I the jerk not the jerk you keep doing and being who you are and you'll always be a fantastic person I'm sorry for the attitudes of your parents and brothers maybe they'll change maybe they won't but by not being there they will have to face up to all you did around the house and for them I'm sure you'll find that almost everyone reading your post will be mentally sending hugs and support to you to your brother let me get this straight you never stood up for me when I was living there you never helped me with all the things our parents expected me to do and you regularly monopolize the car so I had to carry groceries home on public transportation why do you expect me to do more for you than you did for me especially when I was stuck in that position for years and you've only been in that role for about a week to your mother mom I tried to talk to you for years about the unfair burden you were placing on me to clean up after my brothers not to mention all the other chores you expected me and only me to do you had opportunity after opportunity to come to a compromise so now it's yours and Dad's problem not mine I now consider the topic closed so is there something else you would like to talk about otherwise I'll say goodbye for now and if she continues trying to complain say goodbye and hang off don't stay on the line letting her continue to go off on you not the jerk and good for you for getting out of that situation am I the jerk for telling my brother's girlfriend the entire family can't stand her I'm 23 female my entire family is shallow from a young age my parents stressed to us the importance of looks and appearances everyone in the family either models or does some kind of sport to remain fit the same is expected of any future spouse we bring in last year my brother Ben 28 male introduced us to his girlfriend Gia 26 female Gia is sweet but she is the total opposite of what my brother used today with the main difference being her way her size unfortunately warranted a lot of nasty comments from my family moster said behind her back while summer said in a joking tone in front of her the family doesn't shut up about how Ben deserves better and algaea is not up to their standards over the year they've been together Ben did little to nothing to stop our family from teasing Gia behind her back only stepping in when they've gone too far like photoshopping her face onto animals and making prints of it I've had multiple conversations with my brother about the topic and Ben admitted that although he doesn't find Gia attractive she is a great partner and will someday make an amazing mother so he's willing to overlook her lacking I was disgusted by him a month ago was my cousin's wedding and while the entire family took pictures together Gia was asked to step back and ushered into a different room the reason she was given is that until marriage no one was allowed to join family pictures in case of a breakup which I guess some families do but ours never did they never had any issue with Ben's previous Partners joining pitchers only Gia after the wedding I decided that enough is enough and asked Gia to meet up privately for a conversation when we met up I showed her all the text messages I gathered of family members insulting her and I showed her how Ben did nothing to defend her and even joined in on the fun I told her that I'm sorry she had to find out this way but my entire family doesn't like her and I think she deserves a lot better than Ben considering he did nothing to stop their behavior Gia looked sad at first before telling me that I'm a jerk for showing her the text and that she's not planning on breaking up with her boyfriend so she would rather remain oblivious to how his family viewed her I later got a call from Ben also going off on me for telling Gia that the whole family doesn't like her for something that she can't control AKA her appearance and it would have been better for everyone involved if she remained oblivious they're still together and ignore me whenever I see them which makes me think that I'm a jerk and I shouldn't have said anything not a jerk you did the right thing the truth hurts so instead of accepting the truth it sounds like Gia is just going to blame you instead that sucks but you can't control others stupidity not the jerk for trying to protect her by letting her know the truth I feel sad that she's willing to tolerate this Behavior it sounds like her self-esteem is so low that she's willing to accept it because she thinks she can't do any better well who do you think is the jerk Opie or Gia please let us know well that was sad am I the jerk for asking my sister to remove her pregnancy announcement before we announce ours I'm 26 male and my wife is 24 female we're currently expecting our first baby as of right now my wife is 19 weeks along and we put off announcing it to our extended family and friends on social media until we hit the halfway point at 20 weeks we did however tell our parents and our siblings on both sides my sister 34 female Anna and her husband have been trying for a baby for a few years now and since she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been on medications for it it's been tough for her to conceive anyway yesterday Anna announced on social media that she's expecting and she's about 12 weeks along I called her to congratulator and get more details and our conversation did not go well her answers to my questions didn't all make sense and she mentioned having passed her glucose tolerance test which doesn't happen until around 24 weeks of pregnancy I know because my wife had scheduled hers already when I told her that she called me dumb and said I didn't know what I was talking about why was I interrogating her can I just be happy for her then she hung up my brother-in-law called later last night and told me that Anna isn't really pregnant and that she was just completely devastated that I was having a baby and she wasn't and this is how she was dealing and processing my wife's pregnancy he said that he would tell her to take down the posts today Anna called me and told me she won't take the pregnancy announcement down because of the attention she received from it and how it made her feel good she told me to make our announcement and then she would announce that she lost hers a week later I asked why go through with all the lies rather than just take it down and move on from it she said because I'm bipolar I might not have a baby and it's not fair to me stop being so narcissistic and just let me have some of the spotlight that I deserve but probably will never have I got upset and told her she needs to take it down and talk about this with her therapist to better process everything and she continued to yell at me call me names and say really bad things about my unborn baby saying that she hopes my wife doesn't even have it I hung up my parents are texting me saying that I should have just let her continue this facade her way because she is bipolar but I just can't allow her to be this way I feel like she's using her diagnosis as an excuse to pull off a big lie such as this but should I have litter am I the jerk update my wife called me in tears because she realized that the ultrasound picture that Anna included in her post is our baby's 12-week ultrasound that we shared with our immediate family update two thank you everyone for your input and advice yesterday was just pretty crazy so I didn't have time to respond until now my brother-in-law was able to take down the post because he said he refused to lie to his family and friends over this they got into a massive fight and my sister was brought to the ER for making dangerous statements she was admitted a few hours ago and I'm hoping they can help her and give her the medical attention she needs she's refusing to talk to any of us now but last thing she told my brother-in-law was that she is really pregnant and how can we all betrayer like this I can't cut her off because she is my sister and we were close growing up I think I will just severely limit our contact for now until things get better for her as of now we definitely will never trust her to babysit for us and right now my family is deciding how to handle the social media attention Anna was getting I don't think they will lie for her but rather be upfront about it I'm a bit afraid what's done she will pull when your baby is born if she now fakes a pregnancy and loss how awful as a woman she should know better and being mentally ill is no excuse for being the jerk maybe keep your baby away from her you're not the jerk and congratulations not the jerk I'm bipolar too but pretending to be pregnant for attention is really something else you're not a narcissist she is but like someone else said stay out of it announce your pregnancy and let her spin her lies till she gets caught you're not changing her mind anytime soon and you can't help someone who doesn't see how they're wrong and you certainly can't help someone who doesn't want to change you think 72 degrees is too hot and the AC is broken better get used to it I work on HVAC controls and building automation I was called over to a lab building to look at something that somebody didn't know how it worked so they naturally assumed it was a controls problem as I stood in the hallway and explained to the building manager what the real issue is a professor stepped out of his office and asks if we're the maintenance guys his lab is too hot the building manager politely gestured for me to assist the professor since I'm responsible for the HVAC this is pretty annoying for me because I'm supposed to work off of tickets assigned by my dispatcher rather than just doing random jobs for people that pull me aside I don't want to be rude so I put a smile on my face and walk into this hot lab he shows me the thermostat which is displaying 72 degrees the normal set point across campus 72 is the hard limit we set in all offices and labs to conserve energy a lot of people try to come up with reasons to get it lowered like their doctor told them they need it lowered for health reasons or they strain muscles easily and other weird stuff that ultimately never works in the long run I tell this guy I can't change the set point lower than 72 due to the standards set by the campus he then takes me to his other lap which he says is working normally he takes me to the adjacent lab next door which is connected to this one through a set of double doors the adjacent lab was cold 65 degrees he shows me the thermostat it reads 65. I show him the said point is actually 72. I tell him that it's cold because there's a problem with the system and now I need to fix it he looks at me like he just realized this whole reality just got flipped upside down I tell him if he needs the set point lower than 72 he needs to email the energy manager and request an exemption the mechanics fix the problem with the reheat coil and both rooms are maintaining 72 degrees after lunch I check my phone for any new work orders there's one for that same room I open it up and the professor had wrote in the description of the problem rube needs to be 68 due to sensitive and expensive equipment the previous technician not fix the problem I closed the ticket and put in the notes please email the energy manager to request an exemption like I explained earlier ticket complete as a lab scientist depending on the type of lab it was I can confirm that 72 degrees is too hot it makes it harder for cold storage units and sometimes even incubators to maintain temperature and they experience larger fluctuations which can endanger precious samples and regions but yes they needed to take it up with a campus energy manager I've worked in analytical chemistry and knew where this was going yes the ambient temperature needs to be 68 degrees Fahrenheit and or 20 degrees Celsius I also am familiar with the it ticket system stepdaughter smashes her phone for a tick tock Challenge and expects me to buy her a new one I-45 male and my wife 46 female got married in December of 2019. I have a daughter Cheryl who's 16 with my ex-wife my ex-wife passed when my daughter turned two my wife has a daughter with her ex Natalie 17 female her ex-husband decided he did not want to be a part of Natalie's life Natalie thinks I will abandon her like her father did but I promised her that I was here for the long run Natalie and Cheryl get along okay Natalie works part-time at a local chain for Cheryl's recent birthday I bought her a PlayStation 5 in a few games for Natalie's I bought her a brand new iPhone and some clothes she broke the phone and we got her a new one through warranty Natalie has claimed multiple times that I favor my daughter over her which is untrue Natalie came home from school and showed us the broken phone it was completely smashed and we asked what happened she told us a story about a Tick-Tock train that's going around where people smash their phones and then are rewarded with a new one my wife and I looked at her and told her that we did not have a new phone to give to her Natalie freaked out and started screaming at us my wife told her to go to her room and stay there the rest of the night my wife's parents called us a few hours later calling me a horrible stepfather and showing favoritism between the kids am I the jerk for not purchasing my stepdaughter a new phone it's not about the dog toy it's about sending entitled jerks a message backstory I live in the basement floor of my parents house my name is on the title there was a bit of financial kerfuffle that required my assistance we have two dogs one bearded collie named Abby who loves my dad and a cockatoo named Dexter who is my bud important note about Abby she is a toy Shredder the only kind of dog toys that last in the house are made of rubber or are too big for Dexter to get a good grip on a few months back Dexter and I attended an agility course and at the end of that course Dexter was presented with a bucket full of dog toys and allowed to pick one to take home he pulled out a purple fuzzy monkey thing that had some skinny ropes coming out forgive me if I slip and call it a tug monkey now Dexter loved playing with that toy and always remembered where I put it last so he knew where he needed to sit and stare when I got this toy I showed it to both parents and explained that Abby under no circumstances is allowed near as she'd have it shredded in seconds they both acknowledged and said they get it I was always very careful to put it up on a shelf when he was done with the monkey and it never journeyed upstairs last month I went out for a little while and when I came back Dexter was frantic flung himself at me and once he was sure I was looking sat and stared where I had last left the toy the Shelf was empty fearing the worst I went to check upstairs and there's Abby destroying one of the tug robes and covered in purple shreds of fabric I was livid when questioned my mother admitted to giving Dexter the toy and she just forgot the door between halves of the house was open before someone suggests a stay in a nice padded room this is a pattern of consistent disrespect that's been going on since I've moved back and been promised complete autonomy I put up a whiteboard on the between halves door facing out if I'm going to be in a zoom meeting with a camera on or on a call I used to ride in a meeting on a whiteboard sometimes this worked most times it didn't mom would just have a laundry basket and decided the stuff needed doing then and figured my call was surely over it hasn't been yet I feel like she's walked in on at least five or more calls in the last month where I've been actively speaking and had to mute and cover the camera I'm only on calls a very small fraction of the day perhaps an hour or so in total my boss has commented on distractions and actually had me start speaking less did I mention my mother has a tendency to whistle or sing while she's doing chores or that one time she derailed an entire meeting because she Unleashed a bilge so loud it reverberated this isn't just a quiet blur in the background it's a real problem so I load Dexter into my car and we fly to the pet store for an emergency Purple Monkey replacement happily enough I found the exact same toy I purchased that and some treats crisis averted right wrong we get back to the house and he Zips over to where the other toy was sitting and longing I take the tags off the replacement and distract him with the treats but the fake monkey on the shelf and when Dexter resumed his post I gave him the duplicate which he sniffed and then snubbed before crying and staring at the Shelf some more I'm a patient man the BS threshold I have with my parents is set pretty high but seeing that my heart broke there was an Arthur fist I found Revenge I went to the hardware store and ordered a steel interior door the same keypad lock we already have for exterior doors and some security door hinges I then had to return the first door and measure first before ordering the correct size for the next three Sundays my cousins helped me out with getting everything assembled and adjusted while my parents went to church the fourth Sunday was spent with a soldering iron lobotomizing the digital code lock so it rejected every code entered yesterday we did the door Swap and managed to get everything done and cleaned when my parents left for church flimsy particle board door was all that stood between my half and theirs when they returned steel door with wood facade code lock and tamper-proof hinges also wound up changing the code from my exterior door there was wailing and Lamentations and gnashing of teeth how could you what about laundry all this for a dog toy I calmly explained that the door won't stay closed but when it is closed it's staying closed my name is on the deed of the house now I can make modifications to my space if I want to my mother wanted to know what about an emergency I told her I'd give her the code right now to the new door if she could tell me one situation where minutes mattered there was hemming and hawing and no actual laundry emergency cited why did I spend more than 150 on a door lock only to immediately break it because it's got a working deadbolt which is all I need and my mother spent three hours yesterday trying to Brute Force the code lock why did I spend more than one thousand dollars on a deadbolt and a door that will sneer at a battering ram two reasons the first being I was mad and wasn't sure anything less would do the trick and second is because my sister lurks this subreddit religiously and will likely spread this to the rest of my extended family hi everyone my Karen sister keeps having babies that she can't afford I'm 27 female and my sister who's 29 never wanted to get married she just doesn't like the marriage thing nothing wrong with that but she still wanted to have kids so she had a baby with her long-term boyfriend well her boyfriend doesn't do anything to help her he doesn't work he gets disability his issue has long since resolved but he still collects somehow so he pays for some bills but not much he doesn't help with housework and he barely held officer with their now one and a half year old he just plays video games all day I've seen it when I come over to babysit my sister works from home so she will be on a wireless headset having a conference call with the baby on her hip while she's cleaning the kitchen and her boyfriend will be playing video games in the living room and that's the situation every time I come over and my sister tells me that that's what it's always like I work full-time as a nurse so I come over to help when I can but I also work third shift and my sister lives almost two hours away so it's hard for me to help a lot she's gotten mad at me several times for not helping babies it enough I had a two-week vacation last winter and she got mad at me for not babysitting a whole lot while I was on vacation I want to help out because I love her and my niece but I work a lot too and the drive is long and I'm just tired a lot well two weeks ago we were talking and she told me that she and her boyfriend were going to try for another babysitter oh no we're going to try for another baby soon and if things work out they were hoping to have another baby by next Thanksgiving I said to her are you sure it's a good idea to have a second baby when your boyfriend barely helps you with the first one it just blurted out of my mouth she got all defensive and tried to tell me that he does help some but I reminded her that she tells me all the time how he doesn't help and I've seen for myself how he just plays video games while she does everything she got really mad and said well maybe if you helped more then it wouldn't seem like everything is on my shoulders after some back and forth arguing I got up and left she told our mom what I said and our mom got all mad at me saying I was a jerk for upsetting my sister and my brother got on to me about it too I don't think I was a jerk though I'm not so sure at this point we live in a world where when you state the obvious people get upset with you about it not the jerk generally my stance is that only the people having the kids get to decide if and when to procreate but since she feels entitled to your time and effort as a babysitter as part of her child care plans you get to put in your two cents reach back out and say I'm sorry that I did not react well to your plans for another baby that's the decision between you and your boyfriend and I should not have provided unsolicited advice however I want to make clear that if my participation as a babysitter for your kids is being factored into your decision consider this fair warning that I will not babysit for you again if you have a second kid whether or not you have kids is your choice whether or not I help care for them is mine I will be present in your kids lives if you want me to be but not in a caregiving role not the jerk how does she have more anger reserved for you who lives two hours away than for her deadbeat boyfriend you need to take yourself completely out of the picture do not help this ungrateful person with anything anymore and just ignore these tantrums maybe if you helped her more then it wouldn't seem like everything is on her shoulders tough love time it's supposed to be on your shoulders you and your partner not mine you will be taking care of your kid by yourself from here on out then if you want another baby knock yourself out not a jerk and immediately stop supporting her she's using you and she's not going to get it unless she figures it out for herself it's a mercy to her for you to stop providing for her she needs to learn you're the jerk this isn't your call but you don't have to be an enabler either you've created a scenario where the true impact of her decisions having a baby and dealing with a useless boyfriend really had low consequences because you were always there stop it apologize and say it really isn't your call and you were wrong to weigh in and be judgmental from now on be very busy with your life and see your niece occasionally your sister needs to see how her life really is rather than the way that you've made it for her remember no more babysitting well who do you think is the jerk Opie or her sister please let us know never stay with a deadbeat and definitely don't have kids with them it really is a bad idea to make a government employee angry this one is a double government employee event and what you should know is that if you get the attention of a government employee and make them angry that they will make your life miserable the setup is that I was working for a local County government in the permitting Department that handled drainage and floodplain enforcement I received a complaint from a homeowner a nice guy lived next door to a house that was part of an incorporated Village not a nice guy nice guy lived in an unincorporated portion of the county and hence the call to me as an agent of the county I drove out to the site and to investigate and I discovered some interesting facts the permitting agent for the village allowed the Incorporated homeowner to fill his lot affecting the drainage which caused the unincorporated lot to flood every time there was anything more than a little rain nice guy indicated that there was some tension between him and the not nice guy and part of the issue was that nice guy and his partner were a gay couple this ran up a red flag for me but in trying to be impartial I took the information and some photos for the file and indicated that I would contact The Village to find a resolution I wrote a letter and then called The Village inspector jack wagon to discuss I was told by jackwagon that the village could do as it pleased and that I could do nothing to stop not nice guy from doing as they pleased as it was approved by the village there was then a comment about the type of people making complaints just to cause trouble I was now on the case and it was time to make sure everything done on the Incorporated lot was 100 legal at this point the game certainly was now on because if there's one thing that grinds my gears it's bullying I went back out and spoke to nice guy to let them know what I was up to and also that I was not going to let this slide I then started investigating the elevations on the two lots and what Phil had been placed on the Incorporated lot the not nice guy came out and started getting belligerent about my presence and ongoing investigation he incorrectly stated that I did not have jurisdiction over his lot and that he would be calling the police I patiently listened and then pulled out my two-way radio and requested that the home base dispatch both a village and a County Police Unit to the location I then indicated that since there was a regulatory flood plain on his lot I did in fact have jurisdiction and that I would be exercising my right to determine the impact of his fill activities upon that floodplain both of the police units showed up and I let them know what was going on they were both appropriately agitated to have to waste their time and let not nice guy know that I was within my authority to proceed with the investigation a little while later while I was measuring things jackwagon showed up he started berating me about harassing the Villager resident and threatening calling my boss and filing a complaint and so forth I invited him to do so quoting which parts of the code he should indicate I was violating I was using marking point to show the limits of the floodplain for the photos for the file and what do you know jackwagon shoe got painted when he tried to stop me obviously he was even more Angry as was the homeowner due to very bright orange paint in the grass in his yard I pointed out I had done the same on the neighbor's Lots but they just kept complaining it was actually marking shock that comes off pretty easily interestingly I found two really wrong things on not Nice Guy's lot one there was Phil placed in the floodplain and two a garden shed was built on the fill and partially within the floodplain both are a big No-No and are actually against federal law so the course of action had two parts one make the Incorporated homeowner remove the fill and Shed from the floodplain and two let nice guy Place Phil in their lot outside of the floodplain to counteract The Fill remaining in not nice guys lot outside of the floodplain I also told nice guy it would be a good idea to run a field tile on their side to drain the water that would inevitably Pond up between the two lots when it rained predictably not nice guy and jackwagon got super angry when I sent the letter out that there were violations that either had to be corrected remove the fill in the shed or apply a revision of the floodplain with the Army Corps of Engineers good luck with that this then led to a meeting at the County office with not nice guy jack wagon my supervisor and myself quickly things went to 11 and there was yelling by jackwagon about abusive power Etc the department head came into the conference room and told them both they were wrong and that they should leave peacefully and comply or face the consequences the fines the best part was that not nice guy had to apply for a permit and guess who was the one to review and approve it that's right yours truly now I was following the letter of the law but you have to know that poor government workers are underpaid and overworked strangely the permit for nice guy was almost immediately approved while not nice guy had to have a very thorough review to ensure it was correct you could make a case I was abusing my power but I can assure you that the timing for their review was well within acceptable limits also how could I be held to account that they misfiled three times before they finally got it right generally if you behaved like a civil human and came to the office we would help you get things done properly so the permit would go through first time but not nice guy decided he could do it all in his own so it took him three times had he come to the office I would have given him the same service as others but he decided to take the hard route and therefore I didn't give a single inch when it came to the submission being perfectly correct ultimately the situation was resolved but it took a lot more effort than it should have moral of this story don't be an entitled jerk am I the jerk for sticking to the late policy even though the student has ADHD Reddit I'm a high school teacher in the US who has ADHD myself I wasn't diagnosed until college and want to preface this by saying I'm not perfect for example I have lost students papers before the issue at hand happened in my 10th grade class where the kids are about 15 to 16. I've always taken off points for essays projects and homework assignments turned in late I explained this on day one and put it in the syllabus they lose 10 for each day it's late but I never take off more than fifty percent as a late penalty usually kids won't turn in major projects more than one to two days late this year I had a student with ADHD turn in an essay six weeks late they did an excellent job but I only gave them a 50 percent because of how late it was the second essay counted for 30 percent of their grade for the quarter however the student's second NSA lost 40 percent right off the bat for being four class days late about two weeks had passed due to the fact my class doesn't meet every day weekends School holiday this essay didn't do a good job like the first one but it was a different style of writing for the first essay their excuse was that it was done but they felt like they didn't put their all into it and they wanted it to be done right it went above and beyond and was far longer than it needed to be I explained I prefer they turn something in on time rather than exceed expectations but turning it in six weeks late the only explanation for the second essay was that they had it saved on a specific computer at home that they didn't have access to their previous English teacher never really had much of a penalty for late work the student is typically an a student but they finish the first quarter of my class with a 67 or a 68 and I bumped them up to a 69.5 because I pitied them and it would raise them to a c minus the student was argumentative about their grade and angry with me saying it wasn't fair in my defense they could still earn an a for the course but they would essentially have to maintain around a 95 average for the rest of the course including the midterm and final exams college is so expensive in the US and I don't want to affect students averages over an assignment being a few days late but I also feel like I'm not truly preparing students for College University in the workforce by letting them turn in work when it's convenient with them without consequence so am I the jerk for sticking to my policy and not boosting her grade edit people keep asking about IEPs and accommodation plans I work at a private school that offers very little accommodations and we have no special ed Department we do not offer extended time on Long assignments and we only chunk them into smaller more manageable pieces we only offer extended time for quizzes and tests despite parents being aware of ADHD I realize this student has no file so I will definitely be talking to the guidance counselor even though my school doesn't offer extended time having an IEP on file for when the student goes to college will serve them well second edit I also give class time I usually get around two to three hours of class time to write ask me questions do peer revisions some of them waste their time by talking or going to their phones I tell them I'm not going to get into arguments if they want to waste their time but that I'm always there to provide any help and support while they work usually I have a constant line of kids asking for help so I can't dedicate time to focus and observe this one specific student's work habits because then I tell the other three kids all asking for help on their essays to hold on and by that time the line of students asking for my help will possibly have increased to five third edit I did contact the parents after the first missing essay an admin knows they got a C minus due to late work I tell students to talk to me before the due date to make arrangements on late work I'm pretty lenient if we come up with a plan ahead of time I tell them don't tell me on the day that it's due unless it's something really serious for example a student recently failed a quiz I followed up and the student broke down saying it was due to family problems at home I let them complete corrections to raise their F to a c on that quiz fourth edit yes I've spoken to the student I reminded them in person and by email but they would ignore me or say I'll do it after the second essay was two to three days late I finally forced them to discuss this in more detail where I explained the policy why I have it how it affects their grade they seem pretty receptive until I pulled them aside the following week to discuss why they had only earned a c minus for the first quarter they thought it would all balance out because they got A's on the quizzes and were quite upset with me when that didn't happen parents were already informed after the first missing essay but we have a parent-teacher conference scheduled not the jerk we aren't talking about a class period or two we're talking about six weeks the first time in four weeks the second ADHD is fairly common lots of kids with ADHD manage to get their assignments in on time are only a little late but six weeks no there's accommodation and then there's no accountability what's the point of a deadline if you don't actually adhere to it op the second time was only four class periods late but about two weeks had passed within that time not the jerk as someone who grew up with a few undiagnosed issues one of which includes a matter of executive dysfunction I'm well aware what it's like to struggle with deadlines schedules are an integral part of living in a society and learning how to work with them is probably one of the most important things a student might learn if this hasn't come up before their counselor needs to have a talk with them about the importance of being timely with their work ADHD might be a reason but it's not a noun as an educator info what the heck are you doing asking Reddit about this and not your colleagues administrators or special education department you aren't going to get good advice about how to educate asking 13 year olds on the internet op the student is a sophomore and I already spoke to the parents and colleagues admin is aware as well I work at a private school we don't have a special ed Department we only handle students with basic IEPs like extended quiz time this still isn't the resource for actual advice that will be good for you go anywhere but here op understandable kind of wanted to hear what some lay people had to say I've had plenty of co-workers who are all four late policies and will take off 50 for homework turned in one day late or who won't accept assignments after three days then I've had co-workers who don't believe in late policies I understand trying to get the layperson's thoughts but in this case you need to speak with other teachers you're just going to get a bunch of different opinions on here I'm more concerned that the student has ADHD and the school doesn't have the proper resources if you want my opinion as a former educator six weeks is too long the student may have ADHD but also needs to learn how to navigate due dates for when they enter the workforce I'd work with the student to explain the policy and ask how you can support their learning and go from there some students truly need help building tools and resources and some will give you excuses well what do you think is Opie The Jerk for sticking to the late policy or not please let us know so teachers are now going on Reddit and asking if they should stick to late policies I never thought our world would come to this but it has am I the jerk for ordering takeout after my husband tricked me into cooking for his kids so to give some context I female 35 have been married to my husband male 37 for six months he has two kids from two different uninvolved mothers and they live with us full-time the kids are 7 and 10. I work long hours and it's a demanding job time wise my husband thinks that just because I work from home that I can pause whenever but that's not true he'd asked me to do things for the kids or him during work hours but I told him I'm working and unavailable during those hours and that the kids are his responsibility until I'm done yesterday he told me he wanted to go attend a friend's engagement dinner and asked if I could take time off of work to make the kids dinner I told him absolutely not and insisted that he cooked for them or order takeout he said he had no time to cook and takeout was off the table since he doesn't want them to eat fast food he later said I'm fine and that he was going to cook dinner then go to the party two hours later the kids come in and said that they were hungry I was puzzled I asked if their dad had cooked them dinner and they said he didn't moreover he told them to come ask me to cook for them at exactly 7 PM I was so upset to find myself in this situation I took a few minutes off the meeting and ordered takeout from the nearby restaurant and fed the kids then had them watch TV then go to sleep he came home at 11 PM and went off on me after he discovered that I didn't cook like he was counting on me to do not only that but he yelled about feeding the kids take out I argued back saying I had no choice after he basically tricked me into cooking for them knowing I was busy so I ordered food and made sure the kids were fed while I focused on work he ranted about how I care more about work than my stepkids God forbid and called me selfish then went upstairs and refused to talk to me he's still sulking about it today and says I need to get my priorities in order because they're messed up info about that friend's engagement my husband has this friend from college they're close and he couldn't miss the event moreover he said he was upset with me for missing the event and now refusing to cook a homemade healthy meal and ordering takeout knowing it's a no-go for him info the reason I expected him to cook other than the fact that I was busy was that he usually cooks for them so it's both of our responsibility info does he work yes but barely he works at a warehouse only twice a week his friend's dad owns the warehouse and he does have a lot of Leverage info more context on the mothers one is an ex-wife the other is an ex-girlfriend both left for financial reasons he said but I'm not fully convinced by that oh heavens I hope you're Googling divorce attorneys wait wait wait he told you that you need to get your priorities in order when he left his kids unfed to attend a party why did you marry this man so much not the jerk not the jerk but you have bigger issues in your marriage than takeout you married someone who does not respect your work or your time is willing to let his kids go hungry in order to force your hand and is now using emotional blackmail to punish you this is a fundamentally broken approach to relationships and it's honestly not hard to see why he doesn't have relationships with either of his kids mothers bail out now this man does not respect your needs feelings or boundaries this relationship will consume you to the point where you no longer have a sense of self everything will be about his and the kids needs one he attempted to manipulate you into doing exactly what he wanted two he got angry at you when his manipulation failed 3. he's now gaslighting you into believing you're the bad guy for not falling for as many relation 4. he's now using the silent treatment to make you see things his way this will only get worse save yourself and leave file for divorce and move on to a happier existence sorry not the jerk why are you with this guy he had two failed relationships I think I can see why his past relationships have failed he probably is with you just so his kids can have a stepmother he doesn't see your work as work so he thinks you can easily drop everything for the family why can't he grab a pot and pan and cook food cooking doesn't take two hours so he easily could have made something or meal prepped in the time that he was arguing with you or maybe instead of going to his party he could have stayed home to make sure his kids were fed I don't see where he thinks he's right in all of this everyone sucks here you shouldn't act this way towards your stepkids which by the way the fact you call them my husband's kids told me everything I need to know going into this and he shouldn't deal with someone who doesn't care for his kids ma'am you do not want to be a stepmother but married a man with kids he wants a woman to fill in the motherly role with the adults playing childish games only the kids will suffer time to evaluate if your goals are aligned and ended before you both cause lasting damage to them everyone sucks here you're both jerks you knew he had two kids before you married him thus having to take some responsibility for them I hope this argument wasn't in front of them that's a good way to make them feel unwanted and a burden you both need to be adults about this I feel bad for the kids that are put second after a good time out and a job everyone sucks here except the kids you sound like a workaholic Workaholics shouldn't have kids or marry people who have kids you should not have married a person with kids if you were not willing to occasionally be flexible as far as caring for them especially just enough to take an hour or two and cook dinner and set them up with coloring books or a movie they're seven and ten they aren't toddlers your husband sucks for leaving the kids with you unexpectedly and getting mad that you didn't do what he wanted you to do your husband also sucks for not making plans regarding this engagement dinner I doubt he just found out about it yesterday he's probably known for weeks or months he should have asked when he found out about it so that you could have put an evening block on your schedule to spend some time with your stepkids or if you absolutely can't take a single second off of work ever then he had plenty of time to arrange for a sitter and pull a meal out of the freezer or something that he had pre-prepped for the occasion it doesn't sound like you even want them or want them around so I can't fathom why your relationship with this guy progressed to marriage if I was a single parent I could not imagine marrying anyone who wasn't 100 on board with being a step parent well who do you think is a jerk Opie or her husband please let us know he was a real jerk for all the shenanigans he pulled I really do think they need to split up I don't see this working long term double malicious compliance I felt really bad about the first one but definitely not the other this was easily about eight or nine years ago I was working in a call center we sort of middleman between a selection of theme parks and hundreds of hotels that customers could book as a nice package holiday now most people would call up the theme park think they were talking to the location itself but actually be talking with a bunch of part-timers in an office nowhere near depending which brand they called we'd answer is that brand and all in all it was painless there was a website but we were there in case of special requirements sometimes people didn't want to book online Etc now the parks we support are fairly popular so much so people do fly in specifically to have holidays there this means the job was two things wonderful for some families these were the once in a lifetime trips and you were the person helping them to get the holiday they wanted the other side was pure Heck if the holiday went to crap you know full well it's somehow our fault we had all sorts of people calling screaming threatening us Etc I had a good track record often closing sizable packages and always went a little further sorting out some balloons in the rooms for a little Timmy's birthday notifying the park to add Tom's birthday alongside the other kids to celebrate his special 45th you know random acts of kindness I was often told by management to remember to stay in my lane and while it was nice I should be on the next call not emailing the hotel to arrange the unpaid for bits and bobs now one day a family called me and I could tell immediately they were Posh they were flying in and were looking for our top options top Hotel unlimited Fast Track tickets the whole lot I went in immediately and suggested one of the on-site hotels asking what favorite characters the kids going had Etc however the woman booking heard wonderful things about this alternative Hotel we're talking five star head chef won an award for cooking a pigeon so well other pigeons would offer themselves to be next all fines sorted it all out booking came to twelve thousand dollars through my discount on there pulled all the bells and whistles out boss comes over raving what a deal what a close I'll go tell my boss wonders off hours later the family called back lady had since Googled the on-site hotel and was stunned at how wonderful it was as it was for her granddaughter could she be a pain in rebook there yes absolutely I have to cancel the old booking first the refund can take the usual however many days and the second booking made immediately she says Fine went through and read alert her American Express is stalled as two twelve thousand dollar shots in his short space caused some issues I checked our system and found out it was us blocking it not her and had to get a manager to resolve it I explained I can't do anything right now to finalize it but let me call in a favor I call into the hotel and explain everything could they do me a favor and hold the rooms until we get it all sorted out yes you want your usual balloons BS their words yes go on then I log everything in our system all the conversations and who I spoke to I go ask my man manager and she's fuming because she's been bragging on how she's doing well because I closed this sale and suddenly asking her to refund the amount yeah but it's to book it again the second booking was actually more and we'd end up still better off but she wobbled about it tells me she will do it but it's end of my shift so I need to go home I beg her to call the Family she said she would two days after my next shift I sit down and see that my weekly total is missing the twelve thousand but not replaced with a fifteen thousand I go ask my manager what's happened did she speak to them no they didn't answer they'll call back I asked if I could call them myself no get back on the phone this is not your job your job is to answer the phones I protested this could be fifteen thousand dollars we lose we should Chase it none of your extra BS this time go get on the phones I'm a little ticked off but there's nothing I can do so I decide the smart thing to do is log everything new in our system including what my manager told me and just answer the phones two days pass and I get a phone call from the family asking for me to get patched over they were ready to pay again amazing let's do it I call the hotel sort out the package and all ready to go the Red Alert comes up again my manager hadn't greenlit the payment however as the refund had been processed it was just sad and pending all my manager had to do was hit a button and the family would get the confirmation email I spoke to my manager she tells me to buzz off and to stop bothering her over this I Mark all that in the account on the system and promptly have a week off I come back in it's a Sunday night slowest shift of the week usually people phoning to tweak a booking ask what time the park opens Etc but then one phone call came into a newbie the screamers are easier to deal with they come in hot and you just play kind and calm they look deranged and as all calls are recorded if it needs escalating you look sane it's the calm collected complaints which are the scariest and this family's Grandma she's definitely done some crazy things the poor newbie got this call and we knew immediately something was up he nervously asked if I was on a call and if he could patch them over sure thing it's the grandma and she's not happy calm but not happy they had flown in at the Park's hotel but as no payment had been received they weren't allowed to check in I checked the booking my manager never processed they were set in the lobby four kids two sets of parents and Grandma and nowhere to stay I call my manager it was 9 pm at night at that point and she didn't answer tried three more times and got an email saying it's her night off don't bother her another one logged in the system I actually then called the hotel front desk and explained I was balloon BS and needed help the staff there knew me and gave me a break but they didn't have the power the hotel manager did got patched to him explained everything and he went okay here's the deal we can put the family in the rooms but we need to charge someone the room I'm going to charge the company you work for and you guys can hatch it out later this is the first piece of malicious compliance I felt guilty about I'd done everything by the book and there was this family stuck stranded in the lobby and charging the company for the two was just a No-No like lose your job have them come after you for the money type no no so I tried calling every contact I had but it was 11 or 12 p.m at night at this point and no one was answering so I said forget it I called the hotel back and told him to do it knowing full well I'd be job hunting the next day logged it and left wasn't due until 10 a.m but got a call half past seven telling me I needed to be there by eight I arrive get frog marched into the meeting room with three levels of bosses in front of me my manager her manager and his manager they also had a single printout with an invoice for fifteen thousand dollars from the hotel in my name they went in on me 20 minutes of yelling shouting one left to get HR in for any immediate dismissal HR arrived and only asked one question can you justify why you comped a fifteen thousand dollar package the only thing I could think to say was check the logs my manager looked Thunderstruck her boss looked perplexed and his boss just looked at my boss with a scowl and all three told me to wait there while they left and HR set with me ten minutes later I was told to take the day leave and when I came back the next day my manager was on the phones like the rest of us and I was told I'd be reporting to her boss alongside the wider team learned two things do things nice and people do nice things for you also log everything emails and conversations if you ever feel it wasn't right make a note and time stamp it for the love of God my Karen girlfriend refuses to pay her share of the rent my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and we want to move in together we want a two-bedroom one-bath apartment or a townhouse near my work I'm a second year pathology resident and my residency is five years long she works from home and wants an office she also makes 120 000 a year and I only make sixty eight thousand a year so our rent is eighteen hundred dollars a month plus utilities and she wants to go half on both rent and utilities so we would both pay roughly one thousand dollars a month because she's using one of the rooms as her office I feel like she should pay more so I should pay 700 and she should be paying 1300. she thinks even if she is using the extra room because living near the hospital is very expensive I should pay half because we could get a cheaper place if I don't live near work she thinks it's because we're paying more to live near my work so I don't have to pay for gas I should pay half for rent I find she's being selfish because she makes much more than me and once I complete my residency I can easily make 350 000 a year or more but according to her it's not fair for her to have to wait three years to potentially get paid back because we could break up and she would have subsidized me to me if she isn't willing to pay a bit more to put some skin in the game she's being a gold digger and waiting for me to make bank without giving anything in the first place we argued about this a few times and I just want to know if I'm crazy in my thinking or if she's the one being selfish you're the jerk you're not married you should be splitting rent 50 50. also in this situation you're the gold digger you're the jerk and she's absolutely right that it's unfair to wait three years to potentially get paid back because you're not guaranteed that salary also calling her a gold digger while also wanting her to pay more she's asking you to pay half while she pays half the only one asking someone to pay more than half is you who's the gold digger you're the jerk she makes nearly twice what you make now but she's a gold digger you're the jerk purely because you think that she's a gold digger you're living near the hospital for your needs and okay she's worked from home but it's not like she's choosing to live in her ideal neighborhood in a mcmansion you're making assumptions when she's trying to make a clear-cut equal partnership while you'll carry forward because you played this game you'll lose in the long run because that 70 30 split in her favor looks real different when you make three times what you do now you're the jerk oh look another lazy guy trying to get his girlfriend to pay more than him for their rent what a surprise if there's one thing I've learned on Reddit it's that I will never try to date any of these dudes nowadays sure I will meet guys on dating apps just to have a little fun every now and then but when it comes to actually giving them a chance at a real relationship no thanks as soon as guys start talking about having a relationship with me I straight up ghost them my fur babies are all I need for a happy life loser guys no thank you not the jerk I'll get down voted to heck for this but once again this is the double standard we see here on Reddit if the roles were flipped and you were the one who made three times her salary and you were the one who would be using the second bedroom as an office all these commenters would be saying of course you should be paying more than her in rent but because you're a dude everyone here just wants to crap all over you and they wonder why so many of us are losing our minds then when we do speak up about how we're treated they only mock us even more for speaking up about it and call us names I hope one day things can change but honestly I don't have much hope anymore well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his girlfriend please let us know the funny thing is we've read stories very similar to this one and the commenters said the opposite but of course the roles were flipped maybe that last commenter was onto something am I the jerk for wanting to wear high heels at my wedding my fiance 31 is short his height has always been a source of insecurity for him and he takes others comments too seriously with our wedding approaching he asked if I'd consider wearing flat shoes at the wedding I was confused like very confused I asked if he was joking but he went on a rant about how he doesn't want to be made fun of at his own wedding and that if I choose to wear high heels then we will look awkward in the photos and in front of the guests I refused and he kept calling me selfish and inconsiderate and said that I prioritized a pair of high heels over his comfort and happiness for the big day he got his mom involved and she's pushing me to reconsider when I refuse to discuss it she said that my unwillingness to cooperate is a huge indicator of my level of maturity she then went on a long rant about what lengths real lives are willing to go to to help out their husbands and said that I'm apparently too immature and shallow to be committed in a marriage if I make such an issue out of it am I being selfish it's not just about what I want but my high heels help make the wedding dress look better and I feel like I deserve to look my best in my own wedding just like every bride's dream his insecurity is preventing me from getting that am I the jerk to clarify I'm slightly taller but he said he doesn't want me to look any taller than that answering some questions one the guests he was talking about are his male friends and the men in his family they comment on his height all the time call him names from shorty koala Little D Hab it and the list is long they even have a list of jokes about him two like I said I'm slightly taller and he doesn't want me to be any taller three we had similar arguments about this height issue before but this is the first time he asks me to not wear heels other times he lets me wear them but sometimes refuses to attend events with me 4. I'm 27 for those who are asking about my age what real wives are willing to do like a real man who gets his mama to fight his battles for him yeah shows great maturity not the jerk but it's a red flag for him to bring his mom into his arguments two against one isn't a good look he can buy some inserts for his shoes to make him look taller not the jerk it's not about the shoes but your fiance turned this into something major by calling his mom to fight his battle he involved Mommy to keep insulting you and spewing garbage about real wives Etc question is this really the life you want to live does he stand behind what she says is this the first time he's reacting like that or is it a common thing is he aware that there are shoes with heels for men Robert Downey Jr wears them for filming and he's a legend furthermore if your significant other involves mommy over such a minor thing he will do it again just imagine you will have kids one day my best friend's boyfriend is smaller than she is no one gives a hoot especially not the couple they're still a beautiful pair also wedding photographers are professionals they know how to make a couple look good not the jerk you should be able to wear the shoes you want to your wedding red flag on your future husband's insecurity as well as his instinct to involve his mother not the jerk why are men so insecure about everything like dude you're short just get over it he should just be thankful he was even able to get you because I know I sure would never even date a guy shorter than me I'm five foot four but I only date guys who are at least six feet tall honestly sis I'd say to leave this sorry little excuse for a man you deserve so much better and I hope you don't waste another day of your life with this little creep well who do you think is the jerk Opie or her fiance please let us know most of us have some sort of insecurity and as a loving partner sometimes we should make sacrifices so that our partner can be happy and comfortable but I guess the popular thing to do here is to bash on this guy that's Reddit for you husband demands to have a living room security camera about four years ago when my husband of 10 plus years and I bought our house we got a security system included in the bundle was an indoor only camera while I like the idea of having it monitor for movement when we weren't home or sleeping my husband wanted it on all the time even while we were home this made me somewhat uncomfortable but I came around to the idea we'd use it almost like a baby monitor to check on our three and six-year-olds when we were in the bathroom and heard crying or whatever our three-year-old was non-verbal at the time and sometimes his older brother would craft up some crazy story as to how he got hurt we'd occasionally use the camera to figure out what time we put the pizza in the oven if we forgot to start a timer or to figure out who stole the cookies from the cookie jar anyways fast forward to a couple months ago one day I'm chilling at home by myself while the kiddos were at school and I just kind of realized it's weird to have a camera recording me chilling and watching shows so I turned it off I've mentioned multiple times that I don't think we need the cameras on but in retrospect I should have had a conversation with him before turning it off this made my husband upset now if I turn it off he turns it back on we've had multiple conversations about it I feel like the kids are old enough now that we don't need to monitor them like this anymore and using a camera to prove or disprove their honesty is not the best parenting but he wants the camera on 24 7. even if we both are right there watching the kids but I feel like that argument is an uphill battle so I simply don't want the camera recording me when I'm home alone or when it's just me and our kids he claims that me not wanting the camera on is not respecting him as head of the household and he will repeatedly turn it on anytime I turn it off if he's at home then notices that it's off he turns it back on right away if he's at work he'll turn it on in a few hours no it doesn't notify him that it was turned off I feel like it's weird in controlling but I don't have any other good reason for not wanting it on he wants to still use it to monitor the kids and to use it to figure out what time something happened sometimes he'll use it for things like helping the kids figure out where they put their book when they got home or something we live in a pretty safe area and have a doorbell camera too so I don't think home invasion while we're home is his concern he's not mentioned that as a reason his opposition to me turning it off when I'm at home alone is that I don't turn it back on so there's no footage if we need to look back am I the jerk should I let this go not the jerk and you should probably be paying more attention to the massive red flag that is the head of the household those are the words of someone that doesn't value you as an equal partner in your marriage not sure what your work situation is but the non-paid domestic work of women needs to be recognized and regarded equally with the financial contributions made he's disrespectful to you for calling him the head of the household he's being gross and controlling I don't see any reason why you can't still use it to check on the kids but that's for when you aren't around not for just watching shows and already supervising the kids not the jerk he's the head of the household in all seriousness do you have a relationship Dynamic where you obey him the idea of a camera recording you when your kid seems invasive his response was uncalled for can he see the live feed from his work not the jerk not the jerk but head of the household what century is this you're the jerk and so is everyone else here flipping out about the head of the household this just shows how lost most of you are when a family does not have a strong head of the household there's no guidance or structure the kids end up like most of you here dying your hair weird colors having all kinds of mental disorders and living in a constant state of victimhood blaming everyone else for all of your problems growing up my father was the head of the household he led our family the way the father is supposed to and my mother stayed home and raised us we always had everything we needed and were taught strong values my siblings and I are now adults with our own families none of us ever had any depression anxiety or any of the other issues you people constantly complain about we were taught to be accountable for our actions and to not expect handouts from anyone to this day my parents are happily married both retired and we all get together for family events often this was all possible thanks to our head of the household the fact that so many of you here think that the father is not supposed to lead his family is a huge part of why you're all so messed up the father is there to lead and protect and the mother is there to nurture this is a simple fact of life that unfortunately most of you are unable to understand well who do you think is the jerk Opie or her husband please let us know I always thought head of the household was a pretty common idea I guess I'm really not caught up with the times steal someone's identity get kicked out of your home currently I'm a realtor in the state of California a friend client of mine was interested in purchasing a property before searching for a property he wanted to pre-qualify for a loan and get an idea of his affordable price range he the client visited a lone Guy where they got his information and ran his credit unbeknownst to him the client the amount of pre-qualification was much lower than expected confused he went over his credit report according to his report he had recently purchased a home my client never purchased a home Nora knows anything about the property listed apparently someone stole his information and bought a home under his name my client was livid he didn't know what to do at first he wanted to go to the property and throw the guy out personally after advising him not to he was thinking of what moves to make next reading further down the report my client still had a good score and there were no late payments it seems whoever is living on that property are not behind on any loan payments the tenant person living on the property was living in the house for approximately a year out of curiosity I ran comps on the property the house had over one hundred thousand dollars in equity what how can this be then an idea dawned on my client since the house is technically his he decided to kick that guy out take possession of the home and sell it for a profit doing so would take a lengthy eviction process through the court system on average it takes around three to six months it's a gamble sometimes people trash a house before being evicted he decided to take the risk the next day we started the eviction process while going through the process the tenant ignored all eviction notices court dates nor did they move out eventually the date of eviction was ordered by the court on the day of eviction my client showed up with members of the sheriff's department to help with the eviction not everyone wants to give up the place they reside in the tenant tried to ignore the sheriff officers the officers forced entry into the residence and found the tenant hiding he tried to argue to the Sheriff's deputy to no avail yelling and screaming what they were doing was wrong the tenant tried to say he owned the property but could not provide any proof if he were to furnish any fake Identity or information there would have been much bigger problems since the real owner was standing right outside the tenant was really upset but forced to move out immediately nothing he could do revenge for stealing my clients identity shortly after we listed the home and he made his Suite 100 thousand dollars minus fees taxes and other expenses my client never reported the guy for stealing his identity since he made out better with the ordeal the house was still in pretty good condition I really don't think the tenant knew he would actually be forcefully removed from this premises or knew what was coming my client did lock down his personal information to help prevent any future problems thankfully this ordeal didn't impact his credit report in my experience when we find out someone's credit or information was stolen it's usually to the detriment of the client first time it came out on the positive side stealing someone's identity and then using that ID to buy a house that's a special kind of stupid you open some credit cards and never pay them back or take out a loan and run off with the money you don't set up roots in the proof of your crime only Engineers are allowed on the roof this was just the other day a younger guy probably early 20s comes up to the desk and asks who we should talk to about using a hotel balcony to do some art I inform him that he's currently welcomed to rent a balcony room in the future but that we're currently at 100 occupancy for the next several days multiple conferences and large groups checking in consecutively thanks sales department so unfortunately he wouldn't be able to use any of those balconies anytime soon he's not getting it it would only be for like a few hours he says could I use a room that's already checked out I'm sorry due to our occupancy the housekeeping department needs to be able to turn any dirty rooms as quickly as possible and we certainly can't have folks in the rooms while they do that my tone is pleasant but matter of fact in a way that usually makes it clear that a given subject is a non-starter but this dude still persists karate maybe use the roof I had to take a moment because that's the first time in my 15 years in Hospitality that a guest has or in this case non-guest has asked for access to the roof in any property I've worked uh no for liability and security reasons only Engineers are allowed to access the roof the pleasantness of my voice has faded away while I'm still being polite I'm going into the real talk mode you use for jerks really he asks yes sir really he waits too many moments longer maintaining eye contact with that expression that says he's waiting for me to give way or suggest something else I begin to wonder if this kid has ever been told no in his life I don't respond I don't cave or sputter or apologize or suggest I just lock eyes with him I won't entertain this jerk any longer especially if he doesn't even have a room okay he says with a slightly flipping tone thanks I guess but he doesn't start walking or even turn away it just stands there like a statue if a statue could look like an idiot my pleasure have a great day I chime I go quickly back to reading emails on my computer completely turning my attention from him this is how you end an annoying interaction decisively he gormlessly hangs around for a few more seconds I can feel his jerk stare at the top of my head as I keep smiling to myself looking down at the computer screen then he shuffles away rid of this time waster At Last I go back to Reddit won't work thinking nothing more of it until about 20 minutes later when I see a trio of Engineers jog past the desk with some urgency yo what's up I call out to the last one oh some weirdo got up on the roof replies the engineer could you call the police long story short this little jerk scaled the side of our four-story hotel by climbing the fancy extruded flagstone on the side of the building I'd always thought those looked purposely built for climbing but I never have guessed that anyone would actually be stupid enough to try it silly me I guess I called the cops told them that an unknown person with a backpack was on our roof and I didn't know what he could be doing up there I let their imaginations do the rest of the work and within 15 minutes five squad cars and a SWAT van were in front of the hotel a team of seven or eight dudes in full Tactical Gear power walk through the lobby with purpose led by Engineers towards one of the fire stairs on the side of the building I wish I could tell you that the guy got tased or tackled or something awesome like that but I never got to see anything other than him being led in handcuffs to his squad car through the lobby window before the desk phone rang and I had to return to stupid work so congrats artist guy you turned a no into an arrest am I the jerk for not letting my kid's sister call me dad I have split custody for my two sons Diego who's 12 and Sasha who's 10 with my ex Josie about a year after we split up Josie got pregnant with Eva from a one night thing that guy never stepped up he's pretty broke so doesn't pay child support and would stop by every now and then when Eva was young but hasn't been there since she was four or five I'm pretty good friends with Josie and will invite her and all three kids over sometimes when I have cookouts and stuff like that through the years I've watched Eva for Josie as a favor here and there they go to the same school so sometimes I'll pick all three of them up and drop them off at Josie's on her weeks when she's busy but I have some time I don't play a fatherly role though and don't really want to the other day when I picked them up from school Josie asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner we had a nice meal and hung around a while when I go to leave in Diego and Sasha hug me goodbye and say bye dad Eva also gave me a hug and called me that as well I I figured it was a mix up and go what was that Eva she goes oh sorry meant to ask if I could call you that now I told her I'd rather her call me my name I'm not comfortable with that I don't want that responsibility on me she seemed sad and I thought that was that but then Josie told me I'm being a real jerk saying it's not like she's asking for child support for her but I should still let her call me that and be flattered I don't really like it though and I'm afraid of future expectations if she gets used to it am I the jerk for that I want to be clear that the only part I said was I'd rather you just call me my name the I'm not comfortable with that I don't want that responsibility on me was actually me explaining myself here I didn't say that out loud to her I don't personally want to be uncle or some other nickname I feel most comfortable going by my name I have siblings with kids who call me Theo and I like that just being their thing that's not your kid you're doing enough to include her with your kids periodically letting her call you Dad just sets her up for heartache down the road it was good to set that boundary now Josie also needs to talk to her get her some therapy to deal with an absent father you are in no way responsible for filling that void not the jerk op yeah it's a boundary I don't think I'd want to relent I pride myself on how hard I work for my kids been working on college funds for both of them to be the first ones in our family to go to university and I feel like if I set that Dad expectation I'll have to share with Eva and I know it may sound greedy but I want all my hard work to go towards my kids Eva's a nice kid but it just isn't like that for me not the jerk you're setting boundaries now so she doesn't get even more hurt also Josie is at fault here her daughter is lonely It's gotta be tough seeing your siblings with their dad and your biological father didn't stick around this does affect kids they feel unwanted however it's not your place to fill the void sometimes you can get to that point and love a kid like they are your own however it doesn't always happen you know what you're capable of lesson for adults your decisions affect your kids this poor girl is now suffering it's not your place to fix it can I say yes and no the kid has literally zero Father Figure in their life she sees how well you treat her and your biological kids irresponsibilities don't change because of the love and admiration she has for you it's a tough balance I get it but that kid will remember that she needs a positive male influence not the jerk light everyone sucks here except Eva you need to tell Josie to talk to her daughter and get her to understand you are in no way her father and you won't be not because you don't care about her but because you simply aren't her dad if Josie has an issue with that then unfortunately it may be time to cut back a little on including Josie and Eva or that could be an extreme leap open to ideas you could also have let her know that you didn't want her to call you Dad in a much nicer and more appropriate way you have to remember she's eight and cannot quite yet completely comprehend that you don't have the same relationship as your biological kids do just because you're a fully developed brain understands it's much more complex than just a fatherly name hers doesn't and she doesn't need to be told the deeper reasons why it would make her feel even more like she's unwanted and a burden you should talk to her one-on-one yourself and listen to what she feels and thinks and then validate all of those things while setting the boundary and giving her time to adjust to it well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his ex please let us know something tells me your ex is not going to stop trying to push this idea Onto You godspeed lad godspeed ultimate malicious compliance at work three for one special back at the beginning of 2021 I worked at a small community health non-profit with an insane CEO she would constantly call team meetings to put down and be little employees in front of the entire staff often she would throw around some variation of do I have to do everything around here and call everyone on staff incompetent when we did do something right she never gave us credit and always took the credit for herself she threatened firing everyone constantly and would randomly call us to gossip and make Petty remarks about each other putting staff against each other one day the CEO called a team meeting in a group text chat between some of the more chill employees we immediately begin sending snake and eye roll emojis sure enough we get on the call and she Begins by bringing to our attention how Louise does not dress appropriately for work Luis who is also upper management the CEO looks about ready to smack the CEO the CEO viciously tears into Louise commenting on everything from her hairstyle to her lipstick shade to how it's inappropriate for Luis to wear off the shoulder blouses that show her collarbone she then tells everyone that we all had better start dressing more formally or there would be consequences the next day the CEO calls another meeting we all join and Luis turns on our camera I immediately had to turn off mine because I didn't want to be caught laughing Luis was dressed from head to toe and what looked like something someone would wear to a prom her hair was immaculately styled into an elaborate updo her makeup was professionally done with lash extensions and everything she was Dripping with what I assume were fake diamonds Tiara earrings necklace bracelets and rings and she wore the most ridiculous navy blue satin gown with a faux fur shoulder shrug to cover her collarbone my best guess is that it was an old bridesmaid dress but she never did say where she got it the CEO was immediately fuming why are you dressed like that she screeched you told us to dress more formally this is Formal Wear is something wrong that's not professional for work oh I'm sorry I must have been confused you said we needed to dress formally but I think what you meant to say was professionally the CEO was livid but Luis continued to rock the prom outfit all day meeting with patients and clients and everything later that week Tina texts our group chat and says the CEO is requiring her to submit a detailed timesheet with what she was doing and working on down to the minute for her entire day she was going to BCC us on the email sure enough it pops into her inboxes a few minutes later Tina had literally detailed her entire past 24-hour day down to the minute 6 45 AM awoken by husband's flatulence 7 A.M went to the bathroom 7 12 turned on the shower 713 tested water temperature with hand you get the idea apparently the CEO called her on her cell phone and berated her for sending such a detailed timesheet Tina reminded her that she had requested her entire day down to the minute and didn't specify she meant her work day only finally my turn my job was in it and most of my work was as a database administrator but I often helped with other Tech problems one morning the CEO called me repeatedly at 2 am my phone settings have it so that if I miss 5 calls in a row from the same person the Do Not Disturb mode is turned off and the phone rings I see who it is silence my phone and refuse to answer at 6am she calls again again I refuse to answer 7 AM refused to answer 8 AM refuse to answer finally at 9am I call her back she asks to hop on a video call I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning where have you been ah can I help you with something I asked not even trying to hide my irritation I literally rubbed my temples and slipped on my coffee loudly you didn't answer my question and I'm not going to I was off the clock at the time you called your salaried right that means it doesn't matter if you work 100 hours or one hour you get paid the same so I expect you to be available when I need you what do you need I need you to reset all of our company usernames and passwords we're letting someone go today and it's company policy to change all of that at the same time Louise texts me saying she's being let go so I read the company handbook and make a copy of the page that says the IT person must update the usernames and passwords and give the information to the CEO I changed all of the usernames and passwords to everything from social media accounts to bank accounts to QuickBooks and emails I send the usernames and passwords in an encrypted email to Luis and then send the CEO my two-week notice two weeks go by it's the last hour of my last day so what do I do change all those usernames and passwords again and send them to Louise who is also celebrating her last day I log out of my email put my company phone and laptop in the mail and spend the evening cackling at my malicious compliance the very next day on Saturday the CEO calls me repeatedly finally she leaves me a long and Howling voicemail to say what I did was unprofessional and she would make sure my reputation suffered and I would never work in that industry again I wait until Monday to call her back hey CEO I saw you called I need the usernames and passwords to everything I'm sorry but I don't work there anymore you'll have to contact your it person to help you with that you are the I.T person no I was the I.T person now I'm a private consultant and I would be happy to provide my services at a rate of 100 an hour you changed all the usernames and passwords and didn't provide them to me correct per company policy when an employee leaves the organization the IT person is supposed to update everything and send the new info to the CEO I was leaving so I updated everything I provided all the usernames and passwords to Luis you knew she was quitting too why would you give them to her because the company policy says to transfer the new username and passwords to the CEO not the CEO Luis was the CEO when I left caught in her own bureaucracy she then had to spend weeks trying to gain access to all of the company accounts on Louise and my last day Tina and another employee quit another person announced her retirement once the five of us were gone we were followed by several other employees in total 11 people on the 14-person staff quit within a few weeks the best part I got a new job making the same amount I did at the crappy non-profit but part-time in a government position and with full-time benefits so much for my reputation suffering I stayed in touch with one of the employees who stayed behind she's only three years away from retirement and is basically Stan from the office she said they've hired at least a dozen people all of them quit as soon as they could find another job anyway I'm bored in the hospital and started going through old texts stumbled on our old group chat and had a good chuckle thought you all might find it humorous too names obviously changed do this next tap here on your screen to come see our new podcast playlist where you'll find thousands of hours of the best stories you've ever heard or tap the one on the right that episode is specifically just for you based on other videos you've enjoyed the most

Channel: r/mr redder

Views: 51,303

Keywords: reddit, entitled people, r/entitledpeople, entitled peoples stories, r/entitledparents rslash, entitled, reddit funny stories, rslash entitled people, entitled people top post, funny karen stories, karen story, entitled stories, entitled karen, entitled people reddit, reddit entitled people, entitled mom, entitled mom stories, entitled parents, horrible karen stories, karen freakouts, r/, karen freaks out, hoa, reddit podcast, aita reddit stories podcast, reddit podcast stories

Id: 9NxUS99_-kU

Length: 191min 59sec (11519 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 01 2023