Karen Armstrong's Mystery Diagnosis | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network

when she was a nun and for many years afterwards Karen had been plagued by mysterious ailments by fainting spells bouts of amnesia even hallucinations symptoms that had gone undiagnosed for years so you were passing out you were smelling at all and having moments of absolute terror terror absolute terror when the world is unrecognizable it's a state that they call gem a view it's the opposite of deja view because you've never seen it before you forget how to go down a flight of stairs you forget what a glass of water is or you the world becomes terror absolutely unregistered must have thought you were losing your mind I was all you did think you were losing it I was and I I was in and out of mental hospitals and I went to a fleet of psychiatrists who also thought I was neurotic and finally I had a Grove mal attack in the UM in the station here Karen had suffered a grand mal seizure losing consciousness while her body convulsed violently while recovering she finally received a diagnosis providing the answer she had been seeking for so many years Karen had epilepsy I was taken to hospital they said you you've had an epileptic this is after years this was after yes I was I was in my early 30s by this time we're talking 1976 and as you described in the spiral staircase as you're sitting there and the doctor says have there been lapses of memory did you have a smell of this did you ever and you are in awe because all the things you've been experiencing for years and years and years this doctor is now saying them yes it was just it was one of the happiest moments of my life to be diagnosed as an epileptic yes yeah because I knew now what he was and he said you know this is a classic case and he said why did nobody spot it it's this it's textbook yes this is the way my brain is Dostoyevsky had this we think van Gogh had it you can see it in some of his paintings I think whether the ala Commission had it 10 some had it who I was studying for all those years I was probably drawn to his poetry because he doesn't it because of that hmm the very first time you had your first grand mal seizure on when you're right on your way to the station just before you went into the seizure space you had what you thought was a glimpse of God can you describe it was just a sort of blinding moment where Everett you suddenly saw everything as if the essence of things and that it you filled with sort of joy and Wonder and at last this is it and then out but I never thought that was God I always thought there was some just as I had never thought that my dreadful fear or and all the bad stuff I was experiencing was the devil or anything of that sort I knew there was something the matter with my mind with my brain and indeed there was what is shocking to me is that you also kept this from your parents for such a long time it and I was so sick you know when I connect the religious life I was anorexic and suicidal and I'm so sorry because my parents thought I was finished they thought I was over you know I've got it was ruined in some way at the convent and afterwards I was six years in this state of sorry who even attempted to take your life but didn't really remember doing it there wasn't a conscious can you read the excerpt I think it's on page 125 yes yeah that's the sort of thing that happens with this disease you do things I mean you'd go somewhere and you didn't and you couldn't remember being there yes yeah okay there you go what I was unconsciously trying to do that night was to make clear the depths of my desperation I did not know how to live any longer and nobody seemed to realize just how frightened I was nobody was willing to listen I had expressed by fear and despair and I could do no more I had come to the end had given up hope and there was a certain peace in that I just people were saying oh you're doing fine you're great and I knew I wasn't fine I was just I would thought I would end my life in a locked ward do you think you're going crazy of course you would but knowing now that I could trust my mind yes that I wasn't crazy that's that that there was a future that was when everything changed

Channel: OWN

Views: 29,052

Rating: 4.7122302 out of 5

Keywords: own, oprah winfrey network, own network, oprah, oprah winfrey, Super Soul Sunday, Karen Armstrong, nuns, convent, catholicism, finding god, Roman Catholic, hallucinations, amnesia, spiritual, daytime, self-help, realization, happiness, fulfillment, spirituality, conscious living, Mystery Diagnosis, One of the Happiest Moments of My Life, #supersoulsunday, SuperSoul Sessions, SuperSoul Sunday, super soul sundays, oprah super soul sunday, brene brown, Religion, God, Faith

Id: uQPnThYu2Zs

Length: 4min 58sec (298 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 09 2013