( voice-over )<i>
Somewhere in the uncharted
sewers of the city</i> <i> lives a creature
who, for thousands of years,</i> <i> has defied evolution.</i> <i> A perfect eating machine</i> <i> whose habits are virtually
unknown to scientists</i> <i> anwhose tacks</i>
are totally unedictable. <i> Practically l
that is known about him</i> <i> is that
for no apparent reason,</i> <i> and with no logic
whatsoever,</i> <i> he sometimes makes his way</i> <i> through the pipes
of apartment houses,</i> <i> consuming everything</i> <i> that gets in the way
of his voracious jowls.</i> ( gasps, screams ) <i>( s)</i> This is Hunter Wheatly,
Channel 6 News, standing in front
of the seemingly innocent
Brownstone, which, since this morning
has been riddle with rumors of a killer sewer shark running rampant
through the plumbing. With me is the superintendent
of the building, Wally Fuhrman. And Miss, uh... Helen Wills-Fishfinder. I'm with
e City Water Department, Plumbing Disasters Divisn. Could you tell us something about this so called
"sewer sharkT. Well, now, just a minute.
Hold on just a mine, now. Now, this happens
to be a rumor. Now, I'm not clong down
my apartment building just because
of some lousy rumor. Rumor? I inspected Mrs. Morgan's
bathtub myself, and this was all I found:
a half-eaten rubber duck. Uh... Okay, there was a fish,
but, uh, we happen to have caught
that fish at ate Mrs. Morgan. As a matter of fact,
I got it right here. That could not possibly be
the fish that ate Mrs. Morgan. Are you kidding?
Listen to this. ( burps ) Well, that does it. I'm closing
this building down before the sew shark
strikes again. Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Not so fast here,
now hold everything. Now, I've sent
for the one guy who can handle
this whole problem. Quint. He's the great
Roto-Rooter man. You mean the one
with the silver plunger? That's right.
He'lbe here any moment - int, by golly.
- Oh, he's coming. ( people murmuring ) ( scr) This is Hunter Wheatly
signing off. policeman:
All right,
let's break it up, huh Move along. Move along. So, it's a plumbing
problem you got, huh? Muste a ba
if you called for ol' Quint. It's all right;
I like 'em bad. All right now,
just what is the problem? A sewer shark. All right. Come on, let's hit
that porcelain. ♪ Oh, I love
to go plumbing ♪ ♪ Where the water
is running ♪ ♪ To play a ring
around the tub ♪ ( laughs ) All right. - Hold this a minute.
- All right. This ought to
take care of the devil. How're you gonna
get it to come up? Bait. Hand me one of them worms
in that can there. Oh. Eww. Ah. Ick. - Eww.
- Yuck. Well, what do we got here? Sissies for a crew? Better turn your bac
while I hook him up. Yuck. All right. Stand by. You better strap me in. That's it. Ahh. ( humming ) Now what? We wait. We wait for him
to take the bait. ( humming ) What's that scar
you got there? Where? Here? That's a boo-boo. How'd you get that? Ofthe Florida Keys in '44. Me and this little lass
I met in a bar there were out
fishing for shark. We were out there
for three days when it hit. The shark? No, the wife. Came right on board
and bit me in the leg. Uh, you know something? I lost a girlfriend
to the sharks. - Yeah?
- Yeah. Out in Hawaii. She was sitting
on the front of a sailboat, jumped off a tried
to swim to shore. Got about 40 yds to shore
and then a big white hit her. She'd have made it, too, if s hadn't been
wearing her good-luck ham. Shh. It's coming. Man the harpoons. ( indistinct shouting ) I lost him. You see the size
of that thing. Boy, if we're
gonna catch him, we're gonna need
a bigger toilet. Qut, this
no ordinary shark. You're right. Any shark that cank can't be fooled with. That does it. I'm closing down
this building right now. You're what? You're not going anywhere! Nobody leaves this room. That srk is mi. ( gulps ) ( coughs ) Let me help you here. ( flushing ) - You were running
a bit there.
- Yeah. - Thanks, mate.
- Right. So now what do we do? We gotta use bigger bait. We need something short,
fat and stupid. Well, now wait a minute,
you can't get me down there
with a killer shark. - Just hold th.
Huh, but I... All right. Get in the tub. Oh, couldn't we
talk this over? No. Let's go. I'll get him. I'll get him, now
come on, you devil. Come on, take that bait. Take that bait, you devil. Take it, come on. Shh. It's und the bathroom. Open that drain. Yah! ( grunting and screaming ) I'll get you, you devil. Come on, you monster. There's only
one thing to do now. - What?
- Have you got some dynamite? - Right, right in there.
- Okay. How are yogonna
get it in there? I'll get it; don't you worry.
You just pull him in. - Pull him in.
- All right. Reel him in. Come on up, you dog. Okay. Say, I... Hmm? Okay. ( explosion ) - We did it.
- We did it? We did it, Quint! I've never seen
such heroism in my life. Oh, no, you werehe hero. Oh, no, I did my share,
but you were the real hero. No, no, I insist. Quint:
Oh, I've never seen
anything like it. You might have bruised
your little finger by putting
that dynamite in there. Helen:
It was you. Quint:
Really? Say, why don't you
and I go out together? Okay. ( explosion )
