Josh Blue: 2006 Winner of NBC's Last Comic Standing, Paralympic Soccer Player

got a great show for you tonight I got all my friends here we're gonna laugh and we're gonna raise some cash you ready to get started I saw our first comic performing Denver recently he killed me so I immediately asked him to be on my show he's not only a grand champion of Last Comic Standing he's also living proof that you should never let a disability stop you from making bad facial hair decisions please welcome Josh blue thanks to the Jukes I gotta say Bose has so much respect for the military I've always wanted to join but unfortunately I don't think they have a special Special Forces yeah if you see me in camo we have surrendered I'm here to defuse the bomb so I'll tell you folks I'm a very happily married man visit all those happy ladies that I'm off the market like some poor woman took the bullet for us another creepy guy don't have to fight off in the bar I still go don't tell my wife she's amazing she's Japanese so that man oh you've heard of it yeah we're pretty visual well we're an eyeful really yeah let's just say we check a lot of boxes English is my second language and that has come in handy I mean we have come a long way in understanding each other yeah she talked him real good now my life is a nurse so we have very different jobs yeah give it up for nurses Abed my wife works in the ICU so um I don't like to ask her how her day wasn't during dinner poor anytime really huh I thought having a nurse in the house make me feel more safe mm-hmm I've yet to be able to injure myself bad enough for nurse you go to giver I found it if my wife and I ever go anywhere together and she's wearing her scrubs people will come up to her like you're a saint for taking him out well I like banana bread I don't know you're supposed to do that's what I do I know she loves me too cuz she goes along with it she's like you wanna see him do a trick fimA banana bread she know I hungry I've been over to Japan three times to visit my wife's family have any of you ever visited my wife's family I don't fit in well Japanese is a hard language like I feel really dumb over there like to the point of do you think it's too late for me to tell my wife then I don't know what her dad's name is I feel terrible Bhagat I do I feel terrible something I don't want to know I just haven't been able to figure it out I was so desperate to figure out what his name was last time I was there I actually stole his mail that didn't help at all I think I have narrowed it down though I'm pretty sure his name is written line stick box line stick box anybody know how to pronounce that you'd be doing me a solid lines stick box up I find out that means like current resident oh good morning current resident another major problem I have in Japan is meal time because a lot of times you eat your meals sitting on the floor at a low table I think that's a very beautiful cultural experience for most but the thing you need to know is that people with cerebral palsy we don't fold up well it's like trying to do origami with plywood my problem is the table is too low for me to put my legs underneath it so I have to go like lengthwise with the table taking up five seats just lounging in the restaurant her whole family's on the other side of the table I'm just kicking it over here like I own the mother then the next big problem I have is a lot of times restaurants don't carry silverware I don't do chopsticks so now because I don't do chopsticks not only are I the only person lounging around but now I'm also the only person eating like this with all yeah this is good soup that broth is hot by the way thanks for taking us out to dinner line the stick box gonna take real good care of your daughter and thank you thanks to the troops huh

Channel: EaglesTalent

Views: 873,593

Keywords: Comedian, Comedians, Comedy, Humor, Stand-Up Comedian, Stand-Up Comedy, Stand-up, comedy headliner, comedy impressions, humorist, josh blue

Id: VRHNH-7YrBA

Length: 8min 49sec (529 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 20 2013