JORDAN PETERSON: How To Keep Your Calm During an Argument Or ANY Tense Situation

in this video jordan peterson will give you tips on how to be calm and composed in any argument or tense situation for more videos make sure to subscribe to the channel how are you always so consistently composed and confident well i have an advantage i suppose in that i'm a clinical psychologist and i've spent twenty thousand dollars although i'm not practicing anymore i've spent twenty thousand dollars listening to people and maintaining my composure sometimes under very stressful circumstances um and so i've had a lot of practice doing that well look you know i'm i'm not that young i'm just about 60 years old and so i have a lot of experience behind me and i've seen a lot of things and i've learned to be detached to some degree you know that's one thing you learn as a clinician is people are always talking to you about terrible things and that difficulties in their life and you can take that home and and have it destroy you because you're constantly exposed to the troubles of existence and then they're real troubles you know and i mean it's not unique to clinicians you see that with physicians and palliative care workers and people who work in morgues and emergency responders and like there's lots of people who face the very difficult aspects of life very frequently you detach yourself from it to some degree you know and i don't mean in a disinterested way i mean in a in a way that is sort of allied with a longer-term view you know like if i'm doing an interview now with with someone who's attacking me right and i actually haven't said that so far you're saying it makes them miserable and i i can get irritable i think i was too irritable in the gq interview for example which some of you might have watched so if you're going to play neurochemistry let's go and do it i think well i'm not going to jump to conclusions about how this is going to go even even with regards to how it feels right in the moment we'll see how it unfolds across time and i'll try to manage myself in the moment with the least amount of upset that i can manage and it's part of the doctrine of minimal minimal necessary force and then i did do some tv work at a local station here for a couple of years and i had a good producer and he helped me realize that anger plays very badly in a public forum like video and particularly now i didn't have a tendency then i supposed to fly off the handle either but it's not useful to lose your temper it's not useful i mean i'm boiling inside i'm a very emotional person way too much so it's not like it's not stressful it's unbelievably stressful but i can detach myself from that to some degree and i'm really curious i suppose that's another part of it i like to watch and when people really go after me this is where the clinical practice is handy i can snap into a different mode which is okay i don't know what you're up to so i'm just gonna watch you and then i'm gonna figure out what you're up to because i can usually figure out what people are up to if i want to i i don't do that all the time because i actually don't want to know sometimes what they're up to i mean look people lots of people have treated me extraordinarily well don't get me wrong but um and normally you know when when you talk to someone you accept their persona you don't look behind but if people mistreat me in some way or or become adversarial then i'm able to look behind the scene and think and see what they're up to if i can remember to do that like one of the things i've learned if you're if you have a dispute with someone and it needs to be settled and maybe they need to change more than you and that's not always the case because sometimes the settling requires change on your part but let's say that they have to be defeated in some sense in comparison to you you don't want to defeat them any more than necessary you know it's like you don't knock your opponent to the ground and then jump up and down on them three or four times in triumph you know you you pin them and let and then let them up minimal necessary force because any more than that just produces a counter reaction and so and i guess the other thing is too is my motivation when i'm engaged let's say in these discussions is that i'm not trying to win the argument i'm not trying to win i'm trying to say what i think as clearly as i can and there is there might be an element there might be one of the consequences of that might be what appears to be a victory but the right victory is the victory for your ability to articulate what you believe and that's what i'm trying to do and so that's another reason to stay composed it's like well okay this person is just throwing a curveball at me it's like all right so well i could be thinking well i don't want to be undermined by that and i don't want to make a fool of myself and i don't want to be put on the spot and of course all those things are true but mostly what i'm thinking about is okay well now i've got that question i want to answer as truthfully as i possibly can what do i think about what was just said and i'm not calculating the outcome i'm assuming this is a mark of faith right this is the faith that that people have talked about [Music] being something that has to be manifested necessarily we've been talking about this since the dawn of time what's the faith the faith is that if you say what you believe to be true then whatever happens is the best thing that could have happened and i believe that so that's what i and i really believe it partly because i believe that if you're deceitful which is the opposite of that or manipulative or malicious or malevolent but maybe primarily manipulative then what you're acting out is your belief that deceit will bring victory and i just don't believe that at all i i just i think it's a preposterous claim and so if the seed won't bring victory then truth is what brings victory if there is such a thing as truth and there's certainly such a thing as deceit so there must be such a thing as truth and so and some of it's just curiosity too it's like well i'm going to say what i think and see what happens that's an adventure you know that's the adventure of your life really and you don't want to miss that because that's what you've got in your life is for it to be an adventure it's not an easy road you know it's a stormy sea and what you have is the adventure of contending with god and the waves that's what you have and the way you do that is with truth and then that sort of takes you out of the immediacy of the conflict whoever it is that the conflict with whoever it is that you're talking to [Music] you're trying to ally yourself with something that's deeper and more profound and more lasting but i like i don't think that i am particularly consistently composed and confident you know i think i have faith in the truth [Music] it's not the same thing and you know i'm an emotional person obviously [Music] foreign

Channel: Wise Advice Motivation

Views: 95,272

Keywords: JORDAN PETERSON, DR JORDAN PETERSON, JORDAN PETERSON CATHY NEWMAN, JORDAN PETERSON GQ, JORDAN PETERSON CONFRONTATIONAL SITUATIONS, HOW TO KEEP YOUR COOL, JORDAN PETERSON ARGUMENTS, HOW TO BE CALM, HOW TO BEHAVE IN ARGUMENTS, COMPOSURE, HOW TO BE COMPOSED

Id: A_VqWC841-c

Length: 8min 39sec (519 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 30 2021