Joey Barton | Cambridge Union

[Music] hi thank you everybody for coming today so the format of today is going to be a 20-minute speech for our guests 20 minutes of questions for myself and then 20 minutes of questions from the floor as you may have guessed you're not here to see me so with over 240 appearances in the Premier League including 134 Manchester City Joey Barton has had a career filled with both iconic footballing moments and significant tabloid headlines with firm opinions on almost everything from politics to sports ladies and gentlemen please welcome Joe Barton that's right okay break ahead drop it to sit down no it's up to which ever you prefer could it even it right this is a bit new to me keep me pen out forgive me after put glasses on when you get to my age starts to affect you should be a young fit and healthy sportsman but the eyes have gone so firstly thanks for coming out real privilege thanks to the presidents and the guys at the Union for for having me it's not something I do every day speak in front of the next generation of world leaders or solicitors or whatever it is use go on to be hopefully not like Jacob Riis mark who's gonna be here tomorrow you stay on the right foot so more of all the torches about tonight is success setbacks stress and the resilience really to come through that I think that's gonna be something that you can carry with jeffer whatever it is the next party you journey because going ways are going to go in the world and having the careers that no doubt go on to this illustrious University you shouldn't go on to half you will need to be very very resilient can I get some waters okay so firstly my aim you know start out before I'm even consciously aware I think to become a professional footballer something that I want to be all my life all my no memory is about being a professional footballer thank you so yeah all my life I want to be a footballer you know kicking ball in the garden wanted to be a footballer going to school want to be a footballer everything about my existence was to be a professional footballer and by the the Lord the ability or the hard work you know you you manage to achieve that you set out on a path completely intent on doing one thing and a fortunate enough to be able to do that but recently I was going into the media and the ban and everything like that I end up going working for talked about and recently somebody as an insult I didn't see it that way but decided to say he's a banger average Premier League footballer so I was kind of like it's meant as an insult but it's actually a huge compliment when you think how difficult it is to be a success how difficult it is to to be a professional footballer firstly just to be a professional footballer and make a living out the game I think the statistic was about 1 in every 10,000 kids that entered an academy end of having a career where they make money out of the game so then you can imagine scale that off to Premier League level scale it up to international level the odds increase or decrease in your favor whichever you want to hurt even more dramatic dramatically you would have more chance statistically of being hit by a meteor meteorite sorry then you would have of becoming a Premier League footballer or a lot of full international so when you look at the odds in that regard you know I've been hit by a few meteorites of the course of your career but I've certainly only paid for a melee footballer once so for me you know I set out on a journey at the age of I think 6 when I first started playing football or seriously for the team by the time I'm 9 signed up to Evans Academy so I'm you know supported effort and I stood on the terraces at Everton but at the age of 9 they've selected me as being a person of potential someone who has a chance by the time I'm 14 I'm told I'm too small I'm not good enough I'm not going to make it and when you support a club and you get a phone call 14 years of age everything that goes on in and around parents were going through a divorce obviously puberty's a huge fact that at that stage that was AF shattering you know the the the worst thing that could possibly happened to me at the time would have been other than being killed whether they've been killed that would not have any conscious awareness of it I don't think so the worst thing that could surely happen to me that I could remember would be that that happens and in a resilience I remember receiving the phone call and I remember thinking afterwards everybody is wrong all the so-called experts people who controlled the gateways for you to become a professional footballer years of experience and I remember the resolve inside thinking these guys are wrong they've made the wrong decision I'm going to be a footballer and when I think back to that now that resilience that resolve that will that I had with the end of the fourteen-year-old boy it scares me to think that if had been of a lesser Constitution if I don't listen to the experts who knows what would have happened to me if it would have said you know what they I've got lots of experience they know what they're doing I probably wouldn't be a known figure I probably would have been a drug dealer or a a criminal or worked on a building site or but I wouldn't have been a professional athlete there's no way in the world that would have happened so somehow I overcome overcome that and people think you didn't incredibly you know talented young player you're off scene Academy at a young age you get you know you get a setback but you'd overcome it I signed for Manchester City the next day and everyone thinks at that point it will be playing sailor you know you have a an issue in your life you you get over that hurdle and then it's gonna be you know what on the home straight plain sailing and that wasn't the case for me we're still really small go to Manchester City who would in league one at the time and I had a really wavy period a really period where it went well you know new play going into a club and it goes terrible and for two years of struggle never grew again we get to 16 I'm just about survivor and by me finger tapped it tip fingertips sorry in the Academy just about and then they say to me we're not sure I'm bout to leave school so I remember spins of the careers advisor she says me what are you gonna be us at the footballer she starts laughing sure no one thought no one becomes a footballer you got out for Plan B said one for your football I know you know you're not going to be a footballer I get to 16 I don't get a professional contract they say we're gonna keep you on what we're going to give you six months to prove yourself after six month to give me an over six months and I'm hanging on here by my fingertips I get to 18 so I'm getting 72 pound 50 a week to be a white yes football I'm travelling in from Liverpool the thing that got me there was love because I just wanted to play it wasn't fair finances anything like that said we never knew we were gonna round the money we were fortunate to win but was just loved that kept me going kept me resolved to become a professional player I get to 18 so I've had six to 12 months just about survived and just getting a new contract and then I get an opportunity in the reserves six months later I'm in the first team and never came out of it so go from n72 pound fifty a week it's a thousands of pound a week as a young professional so the resilience to overcome that and then um I think of crack this this is it this is life's don't get in the first team sign another contract get in trouble the way to the media now is on me I never had that as a kid all of a sudden them judge jury and executioner Zaun me and then in the national media every mistake you make is highlighted as a professional and personal you have to have a resilience to overcome it you have to have a stand for character to think everybody's saying I'm the Antichrist I've done this wrong going on that wrong and you know I've not been used to being a public figure I was I was a screw-off accounts of stay in Liverpool I remember having holes in me Chinese because I played football that much in the streets and we couldn't afford to have another pair of Janus me one was like you're not playing football so my options were a play football what I've cleaned trainers I love football that much I didn't really care about me trainers all of a sudden you get to them into the spotlight to be prevent a Premier League footballer and the drive and the will and the desire to succeed took to get off a council estate to make it as a premier league player I told you before about the statistics I'm not able to turn that off so I should be comfortable and playing in the Premier League I'm 22 23 I'm an established played in the first team at Man City but what got me there the animalistic tendencies to get me there well I wasn't able to turn off I wasn't able to just flick it like a switch and say okay I should behave now it should be a balanced member of society that wasn't the case for me so I'll go through a period where to get in trouble show the resilience come back from it get in trouble got sure the resilience to come back from it all the while stephannie me character when you look at the period I'm in now a band currently fur was a team of what the fááá team um four gamble so my last football match was against Manchester United in I think April last season I go from finishing that game training on a Sunday to Monday then the FA behind me for 18 months because they found betting accounts that had since it was 18 that had been gambling on football for the last 12 years I didn't expect 11 for bad because I've been so maybe I was I was using gambling as a means to alleviate the stress and the pressure that I was under in me in my professional life your the scrutiny I couldn't drink because it would affect performance and if people would smell it on me and around a training ground I did have periods where ii tried that but that didn't work I didn't I couldn't do drugs or anything like that because I would be drug tested in a that would be a couple of years ban so that was never an option was never really a womanizer it just didn't wasn't my thing whereas gambling was a way for me to alleviate the stress of the professional expectation I couldn't really tain to anybody and say you know can you take a bit of this stress for me or a bit of this pressure for me that just wasn't a done thing in the society where I came from and the likes yourselves you know you're gonna go on there's obviously some senior members of the audience here but awfully the younger members of the audience you're gonna go on and face challenges in your life I'm told some years are going to be MPs lawyers world leaders people who influence society in the in the years to come and if you're going to take up those positions and you're going to be in positions of responsibility and leadership then you're going to be judged you're going to be watched by people you're going to be attacked maybe sometimes professionally and personally and you're going to have to show an incredible resilience so overcome now so if you're going to make a change in the world if you're going to stand for something if you're going to fulfill your potential and you're gonna have to be faced with stress with anxiety with doubt about where you're going as a human being and you know when I when I think about mine sometimes the worst things that that ever happened to me so getting released by Everton I thought was the worst thing that could happen to me in the world the ended up be in the making of me as a professional player going to jail after misbehaving countless times and having a fight in the city centre drunk one night I thought was the worst thing that could happen to have me Liberty taken away from me it ended up being some of another because I had the right mentality towards it I decided that wasn't going to happen to me again I was going to make change I was going to have a different mindset about how I was going to behave I'm then able to go and use that as a positive experience or it took a period of time for that to happen and now the gambler you know bantha gambler something of dedicating my life to really football's been taken away from me I go from being a professional footballer one day as I said earlier to nothing Joe Bloggs ex-footballer that's everything I've ever known everything again I went to junior school I went to senior skill and then I played football I don't know the wealth I didn't know the world outside of there it was petrified I woke up I thought what am I gonna do what's my purpose on the planet you know I've got kids have got a family and they keep you grounded and sensible what's my purpose how can I do I'm gonna go out drinking and we're gonna go play golf at some point that's gonna finish and I felt like I was Union al-jihad usually is when you would in six weeks old these as a kid and then everybody goes back to school and you're off for an extra week and you think oh it's great everyone's gone back to school I'm off for next week and you'd offer another week and then you think I really want to go back to school because I'm bored I've got no one to play with got nothing to do I've got no papers so for me when it when I think about outdoor and that was another days people say footballer you've achieved everything you want to achieve yes I have but the most painful thing for me was waking up in the morning not being getting able to get out of bed because I had nothing to do kids are gone to school so I'm waiting for the kids to come in to buy up the kids had no purpose and what I realized that along that journey you know it was a terrible thing to happen to me to get banned it was it was not ideal brought to realise long along that year and he was I thought all my career when a finish I'm gonna be able to go skiing I'm gonna climb Everest I'm gonna trek through the Amazon jungle well he's we had the wonderful things a fourth football was not allow me to do because that opposed are trailing in the morning so all these things I wanted to do and then I can do them I can go and climb Everest if it ones I don't want to do that so I had a period where I thought I could do all these wonderful things I realized that that's not what I want to do actually what I want to do is get discipline in me life I want to be told what to do or one of it's all where to go one other purpose so for me discipline was was freedom I thought freedom was freedom but one of slowly Lance's discipline structure having a purpose know when you're tired action in life knowing where you go for me that was that is freedom so the way FA ban what Cohen you knows has led me to that I never thought I would ever ever get that from them so I shouldn't really thank them for anything but if if couldn't think of it would be for their so I have to say it is embrace it you know you're gonna have challenges in your life you're gonna have crossroads you're gonna have essays to get in where you're gonna have to up sleepless nights whatever it is you do embrace embrace the challenge embrace the stress embrace you know living on the edge you know so want to think of what the bans enabled me to do I never thought I'd be podcaster you know speak to Clive Woodward one week Alice the camel the next week Gary knell Shawn that I you ever it is of at delving into mindsets talk to them about how you win what winning is to them never thought I'd be doing that never thoughts that have a documentary team follow me around not quite the Kardashians by the way but documentary team following around trying to chart out a 35 year old veteran football tries to keep fit tries to stay in shape to to negate an eighteen-month that's now reduced to fit a month ban I miss a year of football at my age and try and go back and play at the elite level of the sport I never thought I'd do that I never thought the ban would lead to that so what I wanted to finish up on really well do they want to finish your wonder yeah so I was doing the podcast and off the coaching so on and so forth going into environment spend the time with coaches because that might be something I want to get into I was thinking you've had a lot of trouble or a lot of strife in your life and you managed to overcome and hardened you put you in a good spot to become you know a bet better or give better advice further down the lines people you know the coaching thing is something I think I'd really love to do because I've met of where it met and work for great coaches down the years I've also met work for some terrible coaches and I think when you've made as many mistakes as I have I think you can help people you can understand that life isn't always perfect and that people do make mistakes and now a mistake isn't fatal and also being a parent you don't realize sometimes how you get so encompassed in your life and you get so caught up in what you're doing that you forget to be a good family member you forget to be in my case a good parent you're so absent you didn't the roof what not really in the room sitting with me kids and they want me to talk to them and I'm thinking about how do I deal with Paul Paul Pogba Don sathi how do I overcome his strengths and weaknesses how many kids who want me to watch Dora the Explorer or whatever it is do you want to watch I'm like I've got big big problems out here and this is the deal with Bob sometimes it's the deal with three and five year old kids and throw you there so yeah look I'll finish up cuz I know one each some of you just want to ask me some questions I'm a mouse getting really dry cuz I could really do the drink even those couldn't leave the army at this moment since I so look that sums up where I am and where I hope to go short a long term I think I'd love to go into management I think I'd be really good at it for whether I get the opportunity or not I suppose the next 10 15 years old what they take that I really want to go back and play football I think it's the ultimate challenge for me to have a year out at my age everybody saying to me you can't go back you can't get back to the Premier League that's when I'm at my best when you tell me I can't do something that's when I come alive weirdly perverse human being but that's the way it should be and look at look I just really like to finish up and share you know wish you sorry or all the success going forward you know you've got a incredible responsibility to be in this university must create so much pressure you know I was always underestimated to come from account of the state anything I do is is a bonus you know we're not we're not expect to get a job so to come out knows the second highest unemployment rates in the country no six form provisioner go on go on go on no pressure on me I'm in a great spot cuz as long as I can hold down a job and survive that's good but for you for you guys you know you come to Cambridge is an incredible pressure on us to be something in the world you know I walk around the University campus today see the history it's incredible but I think you've got an incredible responsibility you know you're incredibly lucky guys and you can go on and shape society and in the future it must be really exciting but also I can imagine cause you just anxiety pressure whatever that is embrace the pressure embrace being somebody who changes the world it's it's important so I'm just trying to figure out where I am right getting to where I want to go is just the start once you get into profession you need to work hard to maintain you need to work hard to maintain your position obviously in the school and maintain your position in life or in government or what it with banking lawyer whatever you want to be got a way car never stops never never stop working odd but I just felt like to finish up saying look thank you for listening thank you for coming out look forward to dealing with any questions or anything you want to know from me feel free to us thank you I said obviously thank you so much for that I wanted to get straight back to the beginning and you describe yourself as extremely working-class I'm was your childhood a happy childhood yeah I think I think everybody's childhoods it's only in the process of writing the book that you realize that your child is it isn't probably the same as everybody else's when you go and deal with your life in such detail and memories and challenged and you have to delve deep into your soul to realize what shape do is a human being you realize that it's not normal for people to use extreme acts of violence when dealing with a a conflict with somebody else but for us as kids you know seeing people take drugs seeing people battle the police seeing people steal cars seeing things happen was completely normal we didn't think it was anything other than that I can imagine I can see some of your faces staring back at me now that that isn't necessarily the same as what what a lot of use of experience but for us it was perfectly normal because yeah because you you did grow up in an area surrounded by violence so there were things happen with your brother and with your uncle from when you were quite young if you wanna explain that with my uncle that seemed you know for me it was perfectly normal so if said never think when you ate your uncle was convicted of murder or me no my uncle was killed when I was 8 my uncle going into a pub and got into a dispute it's gone into the soil that somebody had some of the head with the pill the cue and killed them I didn't see it mate you you you're aware if something tragic has happened in the family but you don't really know and so you get older that what's happened so but again you presume that that happens to every family that happens to everybody cuz whatever happens to you you kind of normalize you know you you expect that that is what everybody is facing so what a look at the the you're bringin out the school under when to as I said before no slea thinks the second highest unemployment rate in the country has no sixth-form provision it's the only border with the in the whole of the country but also there was some fantastic people some great people who've come out of the polarizer some really really impressive human beings that have been shaped in that in that fairness you know it does I don't think it's necessary that you go to came rich and all of a sudden you become a world leader or a superstar I mean when I look at the the rogues gallery from from this University you know about everything every privilege possible and yet they've still managed to make the same mistakes as those kids off Council of states yeah and I was just wondering because you have had a football career that's been there's picked up a reputation for violence do you think you'd be as successful had you not grown up in such a kind of violent background do you think it's helped you along the way as well well a grew up playing football which is another you know as many many things politics as lawyers every single profession I think is a bit bit of an animal kingdom you know where it's a lord of survival you've got to survive in that profession to get to the top of that profession and some people who maybe don't have a certain Constitution on you know whether it be banking or politics as you see now you've got a certain way of conducting yourself that will allow you to get there I know for a fact that I've been born into a middle-class family where everything was loving and the environment was very balanced I won't be playing football no way that's why most footballers away in class lads off of Council the states because they've got being an ambition to be something in the world and prove themselves you know it's it's it's the mo really of a sportsman I mean if I'd have come to Cambridge and had this opportunity and prep schools and all our I don't know what I'd have been I probably want to be in a footballer yeah it's just because it's interesting so you speak about on the one hand the responsibilities of sports or no public figures and then on the other hand this is just how you grew up you grew up in a household where violence was normal and if you were here you were hit back any confusion that violence wasn't normal I was never my parents were never violent towards me the society no thought I was around but I didn't know what the time that's the thing we never I never thought this is violence I just thought this is normal so it's only when you look back through the with with the hindsight of time that you realize that was actually not normal when I think how I was brought up and my kids brought up that might as well be on another planet it's a different plan yeah do you think also when you think about I'm born eighty-two think about the 80s and 90s whether it be in the workplace to today as we're seeing with the fall I was in the paper and the papers about what everyone's been off to it was a different time it was a different world but I think that the societies are created and I still think if you have the right constant want to be something I think you can get out I think you can if you desire something whether it you know it's politicians who come from council states there's you know the same way there's crackheads that come from institutions because the Cambridge and you end up drug addicts I don't think I don't think anything gives you the right to be one thing in the world or or or something else in the world I think people are capable of greatness from any walk of life and I think we should encourage that ago I think the class system is fortunately for society breaking down I think we're becoming less and less you know privileged as a as a as a nation and I think that's a good thing we should be teaching kids and telling kids that they can be whatever they want in the world and supporting them along that journey then we have a social responsibility to do that and do you think you've changed massively personally yeah for sure I mean I remember being a young kid obviously any time you visit the dentist or the hospital it was NHS you know went to school who was council funded school public school not know you know there was no privileges you were you were you were supported as a family by the state and because you want to get away from that you start in and money and amassing it and everything you want to do is to get to not live on the Council of state to have money to to not pay tax to do everything you can to secure yourself in the world and then you realize that that isn't the way you realize that you should be privileged to pay 50 percent tax should be privileged to put something back into the system should be privileged to support great causes of of our of our great country and I didn't understand that those 24 25 you know then for me it's it's you we all have a social responsibility you know whether you work for a photo for a company like Amazon assume that they should put back in we've got to create that society again the society can't be what is what am I taking taken out of this take take take take we've got to look after each other I feel we've got to look after each other and we've got to look after the people to come I think people have helped me in the course of my journey and I think it's a responsibility for me to give back yeah because it's interesting so you speak a lot about responsibility and the kind of platform that sports people have and you do have a regular column in the big issue and you speak out a lot on Twitter about political issues I was wondering how do you use your platform I just do my own little bit you know I'm just a normal kid that's that's all I am normal boy from a working-class family that's it nothing special was good a can of all of us and if people want to listen when you speak or you can raise awareness to a cause I mean one of the greatest achievements in in my life obviously outside of having kids is getting an e petition head in the house of parliament for the victims of the Hillsborough Jersey what more can you do no medals no winning anasazi picking up your wage PAH nothing compares to the that's the greatest thing you can do or so why would you now want to do more other why would you not want sir hell I've got nothing out of it other than it's a it's a good thing to do I think we we should all embrace others and be better and I'm guilty of not doing that all the time I'm not perfect and far from there but I think when you have that in ya when you when you want to help people the world would be a better place it sounds like you still are despite despite an incredibly successful career you're still very connected to your wife and glassroots yeah well I don't think you ever get away from it when it whenever I so in the process of doing ah like podcast or the book I didn't want to write a book for four years cuz I was thinking like even tonight oh come here tonight and like who wants listen to me ramble on who wants to listen to me talk why would anybody get out of bed or get off the couch when something good on the telly come and listen to me waffle on I can't understand that cause if my head I'm a kid off a council estate I know of played football but I can't I don't see beyond I'm humble enough and it's times when I haven't been humble about it but I'm humble enough now to know and appreciate people coming out and I think you the working-class kid never leaves you you know you shaped as you shaped where you're shaped and doesn't make anybody better than anybody else because I have there have been a couple of pretty famous incidences on and off the pitch so if I can read off a couple so December 2004 stubbed a lit cigar in in Jamie Tammy's faith May 2005 broke the leg of a 3500 pedestrian it wasn't my fault I was just driving somebody fell in the road but yeah keep cute Arashi go 2005 in June sent home for a pre-season tour of Thailand after a brawl in team hotel do you regret this stuff or is it stuff you just see as part of your journey I mean I mean what can I do about it if I could go back now have you give me I don't know what you've got this because I know use it into genetics and you've got all different scientific industries going on in Cambridge now they've got a time machine how quite happily go back in it and reverse all out of a can that's possible look up Sammy up I'll go there's lots of things I'm not proud of there's lots of things I wish I had done differently but am I the only person in this room I guess I'm not but if I am well don't keep leading the large as a leader so for me I think there's of course you'll regret all you know you don't do it for that reason but you know yeah you have troubles in life I'm not trying to justify err I've written a book I think the fellow was selling that outside that's nothing to do with me it is a best-seller for a reason and an index I tried to put some context into what's happening you know not to try and justify but if I went to school and you were we you got you know everything took off you know issues took off yeah the kids are pick on you know if it round the estate on a bike someone like they they just take it off here so you couldn't learn to fight you couldn't learn to look after yourself you couldn't have a medicine they mean it about yeah then you would be exploited obviously once you get to 18 19 20 and you know a role model which I'd never signed off for by the way I just wants to play football didn't really read the small print where he said now your role model as well once you become a public figure and I wasn't able to turn that off so I was in a city centre somebody says so it's here because the droom called a little bit jealous of your profile and I think I'm in the school playground this is a challenge to me and I think I wouldn't let you speak to that in me like that I mean the school playground so I'm not gonna let you speak like that to be in a nightclub and I got in a lot of trouble for it as I say it's something I'm not proud of but the toolbox I grew up with to box I add was if somebody threatened you you use violence so whenever somebody threatened me I would come the toolbox and in that toolbox was a big help or you know whatever it was but a violence action it took me a long period of time do male psychology spending time with people who explained to me look there's a different way to this was very very fortunate everybody helped me to change hard-wired social issues well you go back to these estates this way when they did go to jail I went in there and it was like a school reunion actually I don't say that laughing about this I was like Oh Eve's in the year above he was there's lots of people in there now are they all bad people or are they they handicapped for me engage by the social constraints the social conditions that are put upon them well let's let's run a hypothetical scenario yeah anyone in this room you go to school junior school you go to senior school and at the end of senior school there's no six-point provision for you so unless you can play football you're a good sportsman no six borne provisions you have to go outside the border and let's say you you're not really good in school and you can what Evers to do with your family background you can't really focus or someone's gone on and it's unschool isn't for you what are your options second highest unemployment rate in the country knowsley what you going to do when you see everybody around you people who've been selling drugs you've been able to in crime and they've got nice clothes nice cars put yourself in that 16 year olds position what usually single-parent families lots of them around what are you going to do so I can't sit here and go I'm better than them because they've made them choices I could have easy been me I'm very very fortunate that I have played football but yourselves in this room think some of us have won the bay lottery if you'd have been born at different environments if you didn't being born a different country if you've been born in a country with a different religion but don't don't don't ever think that it couldn't have happened to you I've been in jail I've seen accountants in there been to schools like this can happen got to be very very humble and be very very socially aware of your position don't ever ever think that things can't happen to you and that's why I believe because I thought it couldn't happen to me I thought I was beyond them and happened to me and I thought that's never happening again and the only way I can keep that go on is by being a person of social responsibility because it sounds like you are always learning and interesting enough I know you ever you have a huge fascination and philosophy so much so that your philosophy teachers actually here today how did you go from being a Premier League footballer to an avid philosophy student well I haven't saw these philosophies for all since I what left QPR really I did the fair share I won't tell you me projected grades because I'll probably be getting to probably be applying at the end of of that to get into the this kind of establishment no wheantr so what happen was Rajesh was a QPR phone dr. Raja girls in the room he was a QPR fan and he actually I think I don't think initially liked me didn't he it seemed he get sent off in the in the game man city will receive the record at 12 match ban he was about to write to me because he'd see me quoting philosophers online on Twitter and he was about to write me then I got sent off and he decided he really didn't like me as a human being and he wasn't gonna send me a letter eventually time healed the wound and he decided to write to me and and it coincided with a fantastic mentor of mine passing away Peter K I use a wonderful fella not the comedian everyone thinks it's a comedian it's not a comedian and he won he ran an organization called sport chance who when I faced Arthur having problems with anger with with alcohol he Kevin was was a shine and light and and ultimately shaped me to become the human being and the father and the friend that I think I am today he started me on the journey and he was a an addict and a drug addict and a gambling addict in recovery but showed me a different way to live my life to behave as a human being so coincides Raj sends me the letter Peter K had passed away we'd gone to his funeral and I'm thinking of I'm left with a huge for he did me life I've lost someone so influential so important to me as a as a human being and weirdly I decided to follow up and go to rockhampton we end up sitting in discourse on philosophy and then Charlie who's a I won't even tell you what his profession is cuz you'll all probably frowned upon him hedge fund hedge fund guy who sired so we've got a socialist really on the Left head and Raj and then we've got a capitalist with left with left left lien and tens East really confused bunch so I said to Charlie it was very close to Peters well should we go along we end up going and crushing a couple of philosophy seminars and before you know what we're enrolled on the course we do the fair she did degree and you know what I loved it because I've never been able to go on to further education I left school at 16 and went straight into the factory of professional football straight into the meat grinder and I always thought I was really smart and school and I always thought I'd really love to have gone into college and university and all and if it wasn't gonna be a primarily played I may have considered going out of the states and trying to get a scholarship playing football and off to further my education fortunately or unfortunately we depend in which way you look at it I end up making it and that's no longer an option so a theity I go back with Raj and I actually loved the campus lifestyle used to look no one cared I would play it on a Southie I could just pop in the lectures we debate with with all the students and philosophy as you know is mainly about arguments and I just loved arguing with people just really lovely I'd stayed behind for hours and Swatow for me argue yeah you have turned a half a million Twitter followers and you tweeted three 3.2 million I want to be like what yes you only missed seven hundred thirty years 777 now it's a source and you tweet from everything from from sports to politics to Nietzsche and so on the topic of philosophy who's your favorite philosopher do you know everyone I don't we talk about the multiple heberto I have to say Epicure so found that on my short journey I mean I've only done a year by the way and I'd love to get back to it and know that I'm gonna go back to it at some point I just can't everything a go through in life my life journey it just becomes more and more epic your you know this there's the key to life is fine and bounce is you know don't get too high don't get too low don't get too confident don't get to the rest find that balance in the middle in the middle and life for me just seems to work yeah and on the topic of ups and downs I was wondering what is your favorite or your greatest footballing memory of all time you just won it like I'm one match or one instant so it's like the thing that comes to mind first so I'm making your debut I mean when you are said to you the syste sticks before I mean I add more statistically more chance of being an MP than I did of being a footballer so I consider you know even regardless of the background you come from so to make your debut when you told the 14 you're not big enough you're not good enough you're not gonna make it when when your careers advisor in school starts laughing in your face when you tell her what you want to be I'd love to meet enough never I never got I couldn't remember the name but loves to run into an hour so told you and then at 16 17 18 again you're not big enough you're not good enough it's not happening quick enough for you so then to go on and have 15-year career playing for one city Marseille Newcastle barely Ranger you know all the QPR sorry posh it's well after that and play at the level of played after long because they have people say to me all the time you could have played for England more you know was a full international 24 you could have played fitting a little more I'm like I know of course I was gonna make it so to play for England was way beyond my wildest expectations yeah you know you sit back and think you for the had sold the line if it had been a bit more disciplined called a I've got a lot but I'm I'm like don't be too greedy you have to be happy with what you get so everything after making it and making that debut was a bonus and life for me now is it is a bonus so I'm enjoying realigning setting new goals setting new targets and I think so many people are guilty living in the past so they go I was you know I think that's a big issue with football as you leave footballer they still think the 24 and 25 and put but the trains still moving and you're left at the platform and and it's difficult it really I can I've witnessed it now and as I say I'm low Heda people fall yeah I've got it made because if you controversy or your outspokenness even to get invited here there's an interest as a confusion about me as a person and that generates people to pay attention at times so sometimes things that you say so I've got a career after football but that isn't the case for everybody better - lads we're gonna play lead to Ligue 1 you're professional footballers but when the when the career finishes they're gonna have a mortgage they're gonna have no career to go into they've got a start again that's that's pressure what I deal with not precious nothing there's a bother you do Korea's ever ever shadows by the outbursts or by by the tweets or by things like that was that just I don't see I don't see you this that way I mean I have a great way of formatting the world to my to my worldview so I don't see it that way I think they've happened and you have to get on with it I mean this when you when you distill them down it you know is individual incidents it's something that you wish obviously never happened it'd be ideal not to after maybe to be a bit more squeaky-clean when I look at my life journey that was never gonna be my way of grew to accept that I'm not just gonna play in sail into anything so the next 50 years and 35 now over get to 85 look 50 years there's gonna be ups and downs but that's life nothing's ever play and sail another you know there's some senior members of the audience I'm sorry to point to you sir but if he was to tell you the same it's a few exactly that you know you're gonna be faced with highs and lows get ready for them embrace them because there's gonna be times when you think what am I gonna do on the planet like there's no point to it and I don't better mind I don't suffer from my chemical him like sort of someone else depression or kind of mad you know difficult that must be with her what life is it is a series of highs and lows and as I save you can find that middle ground and not get too high and not get too low you go a long long way fantastic and you've actually done my job for me by turning to the audience so I know there are lots we're here with questions if you have a question can you just raise your hand and wait for someone with a fluorescent jacket Wow okay we go to the to the second road to the guy in the gray jump water I'm all sorted - thank you guys hi juries so it'll actually stand up as well sure demanded mentioned before that you've worked with some great coaches and also with some not-so-great coaches so who were they and what made them so great or so not great yeah I know I'm being recalled the DSO at that I think but they both work for you so you'll be in school now you've probably got great teachers and not-so-great teachers you know one and but that same person could be a great teacher for somebody else could be a poor teacher for you you know I think sometimes you just don't get you just don't click with people and I think that's the way we're managers and I also think that some of the ones that I haven't thought were particularly good I think of it a method two years after or two years before we would have gone on great so I think you go through and you take a little bit out of them so as a coach as a senior player you know in the last few years and going into coaching and management sometimes learn the greatest lessons from the ones that aren't that good you know you look at say an Alex Ferguson Sir Alex Ferguson you look at all the players that have come we've played under him none of them a good manager no none of them are great managers you wouldn't say any of them are actually better than Alex Ferguson it's hard to better but you would have to say that everybody who's worked for them but nobody's better than even if you look at his assistant managers whether it be Steve McClaren Randy Milstein Carlos kiddos Brian kid Archie NOx none of them have had gone on to be better than so have they really learned that much from a great coach would they have been better maybe working for a coach who wasn't as good it was a bit more flawed would they have learned more from him I think across you journey you take bits from everybody family members parents teachers cultures whoever it may be you take little bits maybe how you do things maybe how you not do things so I think it'd be tough for me to I really don't want to take anyone out you know because the Vall lens evidence was everything was laying so good and bad and I think if you'd approach things that way you don't get too frustrated when things don't go well that was my issue I got frustrated cuz I thought this is bad that kind of rebelled against it when actually now is a more mature person I think wasn't great but makes make the best of the this this the scenario and and I start working with a guy called Steve black professor Steve blah who was you mainly work with Jonny Wilkinson when Johnny and he taught me a thing called Kaizen which is the continuous state of improvements and talked about it quite a bit and I used to get frustrated by the environments of if the team was not playing well or not training hard I dropped my level of God I'm not happy him dropped me level black I start to teach you me this technique what he was like just don't don't allow anything to penetrate you if they're not doing that you just keep your leveler you never ever drop your standard for anybody else if I have learned that that's when he won as opposed to theity one had a captain England no doubt about it there was the greatest thing he gave me he just said never ever drop your standard to fit in with anybody else when I sit and think about that I think wow but you've ever run into that other younger age who knows what they've been at other other definitely achieved more than I achieved as a player so if I was if it was a full international albeit one game I think I would have got more cups and there's a good chance no my style that I would have been given a leadership position within that so great can we we go to the front roads the guy in green this was an Irishman when I think a football player that reminds me of you or think of Roy Keane he's much better than me see how much of an influence is he had on your career and is as you ever reached out to you during one of your one of your controversies to like give it voice and also if you ever considered a career in politics because you seem to be quite interested in that air quite a lot no no great questions great question Roy Keane obviously you know amongst over players who play the midfield I'm 16 17 18 and you can all not watch and Roy Keane dominates Manchester United in Europe and I'm obviously domestically as well as like Patrick Vieira and you know the Gascoigne's and all these kind of iconic players so you you naturally look at them and you study the game and you want to emulate them in any way you can but and then I got asked a playful man sit him in the face team and every time we have a Dobby it's against Man United so I was intent on doing it let no Ricci know who I was and I was he was in the game and you know the competitive rivalry of that for me was a huge target you know if you can set your stall out against Roy Keane then you put yourself on a footing in world football and I wasn't good enough I tried me most but I wasn't good enough at the time to get the bet the upper hand on him and poor scores although we did beat them up at time to time but over the course of the season he wasn't able to do that and and I think you know you go through and play as a yeah you don't show weakness in where I'm from as a society no you don't show any vulnerability emotions just don't do it because it's exploited then you put that in an alpha male environment of a foot board retinue don't tell anybody if you're feeling a bit nervous so you're a bit vulnerable or you don't feel like confidence they cuz I'm getting a bit of stick from the crowd you can't do that you do that it's the end of you so it's it's an environment where men were men and now as I've developed you kind of realized that actually the strongest men in the room talked about stuff like that he communicates at that level but but at the time I didn't know that so Roy he would never reach out to me and say by the feeling a bit down you a little bit I can help you know if you ladder justice that's not the world we live in what was the layin bit of the question yeah so what happens is I go to jail and I am a funny story to tell actually to me you might find it funny but I always remember Twitter is kind of not taken off for people are aware of Twitter and I've been footballs bad boy media control the news they controlled the gatekeepers of those big made media outlets control the news and I was put in a box of he's a bad boy by the way I've done things to get in there but the caricature of me was he's a bad guy and that's that's no matter how much I wanted to change that's what I was and I could do ten great things but they were waiting for the one bad thing so he could reinforce the caricature that's that's the industry that's showbiz as they said so I got on Twitter and I remember tweet you know saying I want to explore this I've been told go on say I got you'd be great you you gave him community if people see a different side your personality I was like I remember watching in the background I was like Twitter for me was in my opinion the equivalence of given an arsonist the box of matches I thought if I if I use this medium and speak my mind it's gonna cause chaos I was probably right a little bit on that was not 100% active probably about ninety percent are either on it so watch it go on in the background and I think yeah Joe I'm gonna have a go with this because the me did have painted me in that in that way and that's not me it's not a true reflection of who I am as a person so this is an opportunity maybe to to do some of the difference so go on and oppose me faced with I can't even remember it was something very very mundane and then replies through it where this is not your bottle it's a fake accounts because Joey barn can't spell okay public perception of me is is that low that anything I do from this moment on is it's like a positive the next thing that called a days later that put that I'd read the book and had found this can't remember the roof but it was very interesting this is definitely a fake accounts because joy barked definitely can't read so at this point on my own making progress and earn obviously as I start to delve into it it works from me from a professional point of view I start talking about things that I'm actually interested in and it's it's just got people confused because like this doesn't fit with what we've been told about you for the last seven or eight years it's not so when I start talking about politics or philosophy or music it it just starts blowing people's minds yeah I'm like now I'm poking the box this is great for me I love being antagonistic as you can imagine in in society I'm like I love just poking the box I love people who had expected to do one thing doing something a pretty difference because that challenge is you there forces you to broaden your perspective to broaden your horizons so obviously just get into it that way I just you just think you know this is an opportunity for me to to to speak about things I think are important so when I think about like they not right up my glasses they rainbow laces you're gone no they just red laces so there was cap you look like the rainbow laces apologize from the eyes but with campaigns like that raisin awareness you know key issues in the country you know the fact that we had no gay footballers and everybody was like taboo subject a talk about it was 2008 Eve's the 2060 do you've had a 16 what's going on why don't we talking about this so I think it's an incredible platform to be able to be able to do that and as I say fortunate enough that there's enough people who kind of spread that message bore responsibility can I just press you on that I wish is a questions would you ever go into politics because you do have incredible platform for for change essentially well I wear nice the Fair starts on about politics a useful no politics way way better than me especially you what you should do you know if you don't you're in the wrong place aren't you wasting a lot of money so you just you delve into it and then you start to real realize how it works you know people trying to recruit yeah because didn't realize got so many followers I'm like this really where it's a well is this really where it's at and and then you dip your toe and that was and the only reason I became really politicized and the question time is because people said I couldn't do it that was a folk football it couldn't spell or read books and all of a sudden within a two-year period I've gone from being in Jayla her Majesty's pleasure which is not really pleasure but being in jail to being on question time and for me that was the ultimate test of uu Reformation as a character you the I decided I'm gonna be a different person and I'm going to have a different approach to things and I think the opportunity to showcase that you know growing opposite not the counsel state again that's avidly watched question times we're interacting with a cared more probably about local politics and national politics I don't think I'd want to go firstly I don't think they pay enough money to get the stick that politicians get so I get enough stick playing football poor fortunate we earned a lot more than politicians so I'm prepared to take you for that but to serve in public office and you know a land through question time which is strange that no matter what you say in politics somebody hate you somebody loves you that isn't the case in football opposition fans don't like you but if you score a good goal or you do something good they tend to appreciate it whereas if you've been bought up a Tory or labour you just hates each other like full stop even if you really want to find common ground as were seen in politics at this moment in time so no I don't aspire to be a politician I look up people who save the public in that way and I think tip of the hat yeah I wouldn't want to do it I think we have time for just one more question so can get to the gray jumper at the back with his arm especially raised thank you thank you I'll go a little bit longer there's no rush if people ask questions thanks for your talk Jerry I'm I wish I could say that what I'm about to say as a joke but growing up one of the things that my mom told me about building up my resilience was going to watch why'd beloved football team Queens Park Rangers that would build your resilience yeah as a football fast it certainly built Rogers he's a huge group you are fun yeah so I had a number of interesting days watching you play but I wanted to ask you you've said you've got young kids because of the successful career that you've had I don't think it's a stretch to say that they're probably going to grow up slightly differently to how you did so as a father what do you want to do with your kids to build up their resilience okay great question and something that you think long and hard about as a parent because as a youngster know how many pins that are in the room but you're the center of the universe or the hole when I was young with the world revolved around me and I just didn't see any of the way in which you functioned like every decision revolved around me I was sawn at the center of it then you have kids and you realize I'm actually not even that important I'm like actually the biggest nugget that's ever been gone along these are the center of the universe so that that shift was was you know earth-shattering for me you know that the shift of I actually love somebody completely you know Sulli unconditionally was so new to me that it freaked me out for a little bit and then you start thinking what am I gonna how am I gonna be then you start regretting you past because when I'm the center of the universe I don't really care what's happened in the past don't really care I've stepped out of line all of a sudden you've got kids and you think at some point these kids are gonna have that answer questions about my behavior from before they were even born you know people are gonna maybe use it as a way to exploit the motor to hit them by saying your dad's been to jail Oh your dad's this or your dad stuff and you never ever think that's going to happen so you have that thrust upon you I had the conversation below boys six he was just he's just ten six somebody at school told him I've been to jail so you should study if you were been to jail been in mind I've got a brother in jail and a few other people who know in jail and I've had to say they've gone the army is in the army because I don't really want to tell kids someone's in jail and the rat I'll explain soon when he's older boy but then he asked me being in jail and I was faced with a fork in the road what I thought I can't lie to him I've decided I'm never gonna lie to me kids that I'll dress up in a different way of a Campbell I decided of I'm not gonna lie to him so that was a tough conversation to have with a five-year-old and it really put into perspective might behave yet in the past more so than probably going to jail did it made me really think about the way I conduct myself so explain in a tomb and explaining the reasons why at you know you having this conversation with the five six year old about what happened and why it happened it's some fun I wouldn't advise anybody to do but you know it's part of my life journey and I've decided I'm gonna be transparent and open and honest with them a huge issue comes in in terms of the opportunities they can have you know they could I was walking around Cambridge today and Rajesh asked me Cassie's has got to come to this school and like I don't I don't never think like that it's like a big wow I've never thought that far into the future you know would I have staff the means and the capability of creating the opportunities that if he wanted to do that that could be a possibility for them but I also think the stuff that happened to me it should ultimately shaped me to be able to set influence of the Cambridge Union and world changes and leaders of the future and have a conversation we're just so weirdly it's it's my pathway it was my pathway and it's worked out for me I don't city I don't think I'm better than worse than any of any of youse in this room ever met the Queen you know that was a weird thing for me I went to royal asked accion great sources and I've been in jail 18 months before and all of a sudden I've got a horse racing in the same race as the Queen up Royal Ascot and she's in the Royal Enclosure now I'm in the Royal Enclosure I'm thinking if only she knew she'd give me a 72 Day holiday today at exbest she never ever knew and I think that that's how quickly the world can change if you're doing the right thing so when it comes to my kids I think sometimes is the opportunity or the finances that you have or the the people like you know or the network that you have helped to them or a hindrance would it be better where can Harvard it themselves and decide and they're going to go for it over than me opening doors for them ever could possibly do that I really really don't know you know it's it's a it's a position that you have to think long and long and hard about him when I think about me kids the only thing I think I can do for me kids is just be a great sounding board for them support them whatever you want to do if you want to be an astronaut let him be an astronaut everyone thinks he's gonna play football looks kicking a ball around but I never encouraged him to do that like if you want to put your footballer be a football if you want to be as I say an astronaut I'll do everything I can to help him be an astronaut support them and think that your role as a as a friend that your role as a parent even more so just to be you know a good support network for them so if I can be that for me kids then that's a huge bonus for me he says there's Casius Casius yeah how is this football yeah he's a good player I mean I thought was six hey babe you just yeah just let's chase it man the place now that six other old clubs are signing kids at six cuz I think I'm an expert at football and I don't think I'd tell you someone who's gonna play in the Premier League or to anyone who's six yeah both these experts out there can leave them to it and just Topher for one final question I can you just go to that to the right and it has them a striped jumper hi and I was just wondering I'm also from a working-class background and find it weird that I'm here do you ever feel any kind of like guilt for sort of leaving that behind at least in terms of money yeah yeah when a fare started when I first started playing football as a say up everything I want to do is escape here once it's escaped all the issues that were there except for if I get away from this everything I'll be fine you know this is like anavar not outside of this council the state and you know money and that will take me there then just O'Leary's that realize that people will just got the same problems just did this packaged in a different way everybody in every walk of life privileges on privileged rich poor Miller what they all have the same issues as ever just just they just hide it better in some cases even some people they just hide it better so I kind of get away from that and then a group of friends I was like I can't sell out or me mate we made since I was in junior school I've got a so you've got to go back and then the toughest thing for me was realizing that I just had to let stuff go that I couldn't be wala wants to be in the world and it couldn't be everybody's made from where that come from and that was really really difficult and it wasn't it wasn't that they changed it was that I changed I remember me McGann dad loved George Harrison massive fan of the Beatles officer being from the pool and when the Beatles became really successful I read this quote from George Harrison where everybody says all you've changed you've changed you've changed that has like a derogatory turn toward yeah but it's actually the greatest come home and you think about that anybody can give you say only way when you come from where laugh come come from you've changed yeah I've tried damn hard to change I've tried New York most a big change to be a better person sometimes have changed and become worse or I've tried on the utmost to go out and change to be a positive person and I'll constantly keep changing should embrace change so I do get that you know you do feel that you can't leave behind the people that ultimately shaped yeah but as there was the realization that that well I don't mean to sound horrible but it ultimately becomes a tanker that slows you down at some point you've got a pull that anchor in and if you want to jump on the ship and come with along for the journey then but I had the realization I don't want to ramble on here because in orders other people that want to ask questions and I'm prepared to stay for that so don't worry but I really dislike myself even though everybody who looked at me at 2324 thought I was really happy I had all the trappings of everything that I needed to be to be successful achieved all my dreams 24 so externally everyone would have been looking at me going how can you be unhappy and it was probably out the most unhappiest period I had and it was because I didn't like meself I didn't like the person I'd become to get where that big got to so I had the realization that I can it's great to get on with lots of other people and great that over people like here and all that kind of thing but had the realization that I'm the one person that I've got to spend 24 hours a day with 365 days when a client down at night ought to go on the pillar I've got a life what's going on internally or when I look in the mirror what what's coming back if I don't like that then that's a tough existence and I add part of that where there was a tough existence if I'm not happy with who I am as a human being that's tough so in order to get life being beneficial for me I have the corrector now if I get that right and I like myself and no one likes me then something not quite right about that but at least I like myself at least I can live in my own thoughts and in my own being but then if you get that right generally a lot of other people attach that and they like you so once I got that I got the horse before the cart great things start happening to me and then you do still come across the odd speed when we think I've got life sauced and then something comes shakes up the fabric of you of your existence so yeah in a little bit of a way of whole their book yes wants to share that with you and they're fantastic since you said you're happy to stand it seems like there are more questions and people in the room can we can we go to the land of the red jumper in the second row yeah the yellow if you do need to leave just just an abyss I do think I think about that documentary that you were lonely John fashions dog who made about um what was your reaction when you're first off to be involved in that yeah John's answer yes fiercely I wasn't the face that I wasn't the first person asked so why I did that with again me being me was I'm old-fashioned uses his niece was was trying to get a documentary made so she sent out you know requests the hoi polloi of Premier League football so obviously you know at that stage I was down the food chain and I didn't really want to do going on Adam it's like the last thing they need is me talking about that issue somebody else should should do that enough the other uncle who was gay so it was a topic that was important to for me personally too that somebody's spoke about so anyway after the P the time and mal came back and said look nobody in football nobody is prepared to talk about this I'm like well it's like I think was 2014-15 like nobody in football is prepared to have a conversation on camera about this she said no they're all scared that everybody will think if they talk about it that they're gay oh wow how's this possible so anyway I agreed to do what I said somebody's got to do it I'll do it for ya so end up doing it and lo and behold the first things that come back is you must be gay even though it explained what was happening at the partner and should I held it's like amp ku um that's that's what that's not I'm like that's a huge badge of honor and if that's the case so embraced it started talking about it rainbow laces campaign sorry I thought you at the mom but you haven't that came off the back of it it's now the rain if you see the rainbow laces campaign now in the awareness around it's now become a and a weekend event in the Premier League where they all embrace or which thinks we've got lots of way to do on the issue but it's a show it's a show that we're moving in the right direction and also I thought it was a separate the humans of where we were out as a sport you know at the time when we that rugby and other sports that had kind of dealt with the issue we had the Prime sport in the country that was so archaic in its response towards what was a key issue you know you have to run the the mathematical probability that we have an active football roof there's a good chance of him being gay or was it one in 10 minute every 10 men again something like that well you've got I mean how many professional footballers there's a good chance and yet it was a taboo subject so I felt it was important to talk about it and I was just shocked and surprised that not a lot of players did luckily now we've got we've got better but we've got so much more where to do on it that's again yeah just one final question can we go to the the guy in the third row just shut up cheers thanks hi Joey thanks very much for coming um I wanted to you touched on this point that everyone in this room has made mistakes and has done misdemeanors but you're the only person who's had them highlighted upon the back pages and analyzed under a microscope am i is that right no one else but now no I was gonna ask what has what have you learnt as a result of that this image that's been generated of you in the media this stereotype that people have of you before having spoken to you or anything like that especially with regards to the medium of Twitter and how as you said it allows people and allows you to interact with literally anyone what have you learned about society and humanity and the way people think as a result of that what I would have to say of what you're laying is that any anything is kind of possible that that would be a huge thing from it that's good and bad by the way you do learn that anything is it's impossible you also learn that how similar we actually are and yet we just try to be so incredibly different but also we have lots of similarities and lots of places where we could really help each other and yet all we try and do is create barriers between each other so I think for me that the caricature is it is what it is I have no real control over it a stock trailer controller a long time ago I think you just have to be you know when you're trying to tell somebody this is who I am this is what I am I always get skeptical about that because I think whenever I've tried to do that it hasn't been genuine so I am what I am like people want to put tags on me Philosopher's bullets stuff I've studied philosophy I've got an interesting but I'm also interested in music doesn't mean I'm a musician so people want to just put these tags and boxes on you know human being I'm at a pro that's what we all are I'm aware of it I try to not make huge at us I just try me you but I can't not make any errors you know I'll make them in every war her life whether it's upset and the missus in the house for leaving me clothes in a place I shouldn't leave them or making too much noise when I come with the stair whatever it is you know we go through life on this journey of trying to be perfect and actually think sometimes it's it's actually ok not to be perfect it's okay not to know it's okay to ask somebody I haven't got a clue what I'm doing can you give me a hand here you know rush it's awesome about give us a hand on the speech and Raj gives me a hand and helps me overcome that and I still stand influency isn't much prefer to play in will influence of 80,000 in it in the playoff final game the stand they even talk to you is I'm so nervous done than their dough I'm like well give me a ball and say the whole world's watching you the sky's watching it great no problem I can do that so yeah I'd say the one thing it does Lane yeah it'd be okay in your own skin but also be okay not being perfect be okay having people not saying nice things about you well to me it doesn't matter on that point you also have a huge Twitter presence are you the most authentic on Twitter or Java feel like that something you tried to create for people to see I don't think any of us are ever exactly who we are in private in public and I don't think we should be I think it seems really really strange place if we were yeah I think I think yeah my take on it is I'm just me and I'm really honest and I know sometimes that causes controversy but then I'm not a very good liar so I couldn't that's why I probably couldn't be a politician I'm not good at lying seriously I'm not good at lying so it's tough to do so for me to toe the party line that's a lot of the time way of being kicked out or fell out with managers or football clubs cuz I find it really really difficult to do I've got better at it but I find it difficult to do so instead of trying a lime waste energy trying to become better at Adam or Makaveli and I'm just like I'm gonna be me I'm gonna be it's gonna upset people from time to time but I don't do it to here people don't do it for sinister reasons and I know sometimes things I'm gonna say if I'm given a critical analysis of a player on the radio and now we've got to hear that it's gonna piss him off I know that and I don't do it for that I'm like aren't my responsibility it is this and I'm quite happy to do that you know don't get up in the morning I think right I want to target him because I don't like him although there's times when you've said things that you think you know like about the ever manager thought I didn't really need to go into that much detail and if I add this time machine that hopes being developed by the boffins that'd in this university to use in future I'll go back an old self editor fantastic a is a shame to say we're out of time but I just want to end with one final question which is you said you're not gonna go into politics you're on a break from football right now what does the future holds you I'm gonna I'm gonna try and go back I mean I'm play football I think I have to keep me going check here but I think I can do it although there's to be a lot of justifiably a lot of people going you kind of a year out a 35 and then go back into the Premier League especially when my ban is a total ban from football whatever the failed the drug test to her go and train and and be banned from games but because it's a gamble and one I'm banned from all football activity so that's a complete ban from the lads of trains I've got to compensate by doing that training but I just see that I could mope about it and feel sorry for meself but it's ultimately self-inflicted you do could it have been a lesser band well yeah realistically when you look at what had happened but I've lived as an outlaw in their eyes and I got an outlaw punishment so I have to deal with that and then the competitor in me kicks in and the resilient personality in me kicks in and goes this is a great challenge to overcome this is another taking the box for me inside to say I can overcome great obstacles in my life and it and that resilience that that builds and the confidence that builds within ya I'd wish I didn't have to overcome this obstacle because it's love your profession taken away from you it's heartbreaking but this is the car that I'm dealt or these are the cards I've dealt myself four times you have to pick yourself up dust yourself down and get moving in the right direction again yeah well everyone here wishes you the best thank you [Applause]

Channel: Cambridge Union

Views: 34,787

Keywords: The, Cambridge, Union

Id: a2jfiZOQUjQ

Length: 79min 39sec (4779 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 17 2018