joe goldberg being my favorite comedian

there it is with its big naked windows it's nice too nice thinking subsidized school housing jesus it's like you've never seen a horror movie or the news benjamin j ashby the third oh there's three of them b brokerage two failed careers model oh boy oh hey i was thinking about making cookies for hashtag release day amanda chantal bacon has a dope recipe and moon juice cookbook cook cosmically for body beauty and consciousness kill me sounds great ethan it's a great job bro bro you waste of hair i'm not worried i've seen enough romantic comedies to know guys like me are always getting in jams like this oh that's easy it's us in 30 years and that was way too much i'm glad we met glad we're friends for the love of christ owl can self-respecting women tolerate this crap sometimes i swear i'm the only real feminist you know if i play some uh enrique iglesias i'm trying to bone up on my spanish these are officially the darkest days in the history of the world i wonder if he's a virgin she almost died but not quite i hope he's gonna bone me i wish he'd lube up and get on with it and if i drink it has to be a high ph you know like kettle one or goose and pear juice weren't you doing jaeger shots at your party look at that how dare she invade your privacy like that it's perverse god i have to pee my dick reduced to cartoon food items this is my nightmare a hot dog yes with the bun [Music] is this rock bottom because it sure feels like it another thing i keep learning things can always get worse this is my job now and i love it [Laughter] for the most part yeah i went a little crazy you know you're welcome to join if you like please say no please say no well you're an alcoholic [ __ ] bag who beats women so please enlighten me i bet you're too drunk to be alone what if some sicko had followed you down here i hoping and just from a bucket of my own he has killed my appetite oh well i emptied the bucket in case you ever doubt what i'm willing to do for love were you watching me maybe uh-uh stalker common passwords password one two three four five six baby girl baby girl really this is not what love looks like this isn't how love behaves this is the work of a sick mind let's call it what it is perversion beck you've got a stalker no i shouldn't i won't it's a date [ __ ] it's fine you're not heroin you're a human woman can't you say something i don't like to mess with other people's lives i have a stalker you love who you love and love tells you what to do easy peasy stupid stupid love has taken me to dark places but los angeles has got to be as dark as it gets come for the spring lettuce mix stay for the perfect life that could be yours if you just spend enough and quit gluten you [ __ ] [ __ ] hello you no [ __ ] no i'm not doing that i'm not gonna try to figure out who you are why you look so concerned about the state of that heirloom tomato this is jasper he looks like a manager at a comic book store i'm an idiot am i sunburned through this t-shirt how is that a thing it still feels weird like you were trying to get him out of town so that you don't have to deal with him being attracted to very smart women is a double-edged sword we could have a signal like what is that are you are you spider-man loves buns am i right well that's accidentally horrifying lovey said something about all of us going to the beach later today sooner than i'd care too but great i'm not going to apologize for protecting my family ever privileged check aisle one so go ahead poor bastard didn't even get an invite so much for unnoticed but it's not gonna work because hello it's past life trauma always [ __ ] that wasn't a joke say something say something anything what is happening here are you [ __ ] crackheads sorry it's very hard to think clearly in the river of crazy you're spewing okay get a grip so you have a girlfriend yet holy [ __ ] yeah how old are you like 14. i woke up with a completely brilliant idea what's the idea movies on loop in in the bookstore oh no we're a family me a boy and his mom who is usually great but occasionally murders people with her bare hands what could go wrong i i caught him about to cheat it's the same thing the difference is that i almost did a bad thing and she actually did a terrible thing but i can't say what she did so i'm the villain fear of abandonment so deep it feels downright kill or be killed metaphorically speaking joe goldberg hey did i know you work here did i know you had your breasts enhanced in 2017 vlogged your recovery from adderall addiction brother's a roadie for something called five seconds of summer oh yeah lucky super high matab is he flirting with me or inviting me to join fight club shake it out full go total liberation get in your hips let's do it over here i caught him cheating oh good we're diving right in yeah sometimes we call him 40. his name's henry a good therapist would dig into why our child is named after her dead added codependent brother a reason she died she was unstable and not happy and she kills herself with an axe i dearly hope it doesn't involve pegging someone on this bed r.i.p peach not even just for porn but also the horn is spectacular we as a species deserve to go extinct if you don't know how to communicate healthy it's because it was never modeled for you oh funny it's already blamed the parents o'clock feels nice trusting you with this part of me [Music] for the most part we'll go over the rest of the rules at dusk what is this fight club in the redwoods come on joe i'm gonna need you to hit me [Music] no i'm not playing this scene from this movie i'm so sorry that my wife almost definitely murdered her first husband that's fine uh you probably sound like an [ __ ] no worse look at my dick how are we supposed to understand each other how am i supposed to [Music] thought you were a threat to my marriage but the real problem with my marriage is my [ __ ] wife

Channel: amilyyy

Views: 873,666

Keywords:

Id: yJYlfi1RKvs

Length: 8min 2sec (482 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 04 2022