Jodie Sweetin: My ADHD is a Superpower

I have a great middle child story from full house there's an episode in Full House where Jesse and Becky are moving out of the house okay when Jesse moved into the house he moved into Stephanie's old bedroom correct with the pink bunnies now the pink bunnies were supposedly hand cut by Pamela Stephanie's mom Jesse's sister Michelle gives Jessie the pink bunny or vice versa something happened and I was like I actually know what it's like to be a middle child foreign [Music] [Music] 's breakdown is supported by Third love Jonathan I have news for you tell me there's a bra that makes me look and feel amazing and it's actually super comfortable all day so excited I wanted you to know that it is very exciting and I'm not just telling you I'm telling everyone most bras suck like it's just like a thing we're just like as women we just are told do your brows experience is going to be horrible it's um it's horrible but third love knows that it's not you it's the bra third love spent years 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things that I've explored a lot particularly in therapy and we have someone today who really kind of shook things up for me we're going to be welcoming Jody Sweden that's Stephanie Tanner on Full House and Fuller house but first the person who shakes things up for me on the daily Jonathan Cohen hello hello mime you have a lot to discover still you don't have it all figured out that's okay Jonathan you're coming to us today from your studio at the border of Oregon in California is that correct that's true here I am again and um did they have Full House in Canada I'm gonna admit it I was a big Full House Fan I like that I watched it as a kid did you say look at those funny Americans they're so funny no I was I like the intro credit sequence and I'm like this is a pleasant little town I didn't know it was San Francisco at the time I like the music everywhere in San Francisco yeah that's burned in there we talk about many things with Jody Sweetin I hope that this is kind of a different lens with which to look at her she talks a lot about obviously her work on Full House and what it was like essentially growing up in the industry literally from the time like almost as early as she can remember she was on that show and working she shares very intimately um her uh her story she was adopted as a baby she talks a lot about that transition in her life what she's learned in therapy about the times that she may not even necessarily consciously remember she doesn't just talk the talk she um she walks the walk and I really have a tremendous amount of of respect for her and I learned a lot this is a very interesting one I I got some new perspective on my experience and my life that um I don't think I've had before I also do want to mention that she recently was in two holiday films she works a lot Mary Swiss Miss on Lifetime and a cozy Christmas Inn on the Hallmark Channel that's right this is someone who makes movies both on Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel she's executive producing and starring in the rom-com just swipe she just wrapped production on Craft me a romance out later in the year um she has a podcast never thought I'd say this she's also been a recurring guest co-host on the talk and ease daily pop regularly honestly I think we got a taste of why that is today you know what I like about Jody what do you like about Jody Sweden she checks in on me she really checks in on me in this episode and you know I gotta say I didn't hate it you know John Jonathan I happen to think that I check in on you plenty but I'm very glad that you felt taken care of uh by Jody I did she also wrote A Memoir unsweetened she's an activist in many many areas she's a mom of two and it's really really a pleasure to Welcome to the breakdown here in person with Jonathan on a screen Jody Sweeten break it down Jody welcome to the breakdown and thank you it's very exciting to sit with you because first of all you look amazing and you look like you're still a teenager I appreciate that which is how I you know I still sort of I mean I know you get this a lot and um you still I was on TV so so that and you know we we recently had Candace Cameron I can't remember how to pronounce her last name Beret Beret yes we recently had Candace Cameron a beret on and people just love this era people love Full House like so it's actually it's really fun to have you on here and I don't want to say that I've been wanting to speak to you even before I wanted to speak to her but you know I followed so much of your life and your journey and was just very excited to get to talk to you thank you also as I mentioned to Candace my first audition ever was to play DJ in full house really yes and I know you're like doing the math that's amazing I'm 47. I started acting when I was 11. and that was the first audition I went on oh wow you had been acting long before 11 but I had just started acting at 11. what are some of the common notes that casting directors will give feedback to an agent about either it's usually either one of two things either they're over really theatrical and they need to tone it down and they're like playing it like to the back of the theater or or they go in and just don't really they're just kind of really shy okay so I already am more different than you thought okay okay well I just feel like that's often times my kids are like I love this and then you send them into an audition and they're like no no no I um just rushing just speaking way too fast oh story of my life I get it today yeah still that's yeah no so that was the note um also I don't I'm gonna I'm even gonna venture to say something I'm gonna too good for the part and I was meant for others no that that I think uh I know for me my brain works 5 000 miles an hour and I have a feeling yours might as well and I feel like sometimes that's why we talk really fast because I'm like if I don't talk fast and get all of this out quickly I'm gonna distract myself I'm gonna lose interest it's part of my delicate psychiatric profile which I think is very Charming girl it is I have it is part of my charm now at nearly 41 it it's I've Incorporated it to be Charming um but but it's nice to be invited to someone else's breakdown by the way oh yeah yes and not always yeah Welcome to our break yes exactly you get to share um things that are not currently breaking down for you while we just share our current breakdowns no but the other thing I was going to say is that you know a funny thing happened before pretty much a funny thing happened you know when I started acting in 1986. um you know I I looked pretty much then like I do now meaning like I had prominent features you know I had like a whatever this is my face and you know I remember when I told my parents I love your face thank you it's an awesome growing to love it um see I love the I love unique faces I like faces it's like unique yeah I no but I mean like faces that are like I've got characters yes what in 1986 though you can imagine when I said to my parents I want to be an actress like they looked at the television and looked at me and looked and they must have been like what is she she's gonna do because this like ethnic features were not popular in the 80s and I had blonde hair and blue eyes I could have been your sister but from another mister no no I don't think so I think actually from the mister that we were supposed to have all been from may like I'm just saying I look more like the late beloved Bob Saget than any of you I'm not and I don't mean this but he was from My Tribe like right in any event um you know obviously that show and the cast that was put together you know became such an iconic part you know yes of so many lives and also the lives of the actual humans like you who were who were living it um and you know and also just with the Resurgence you know and with Fuller house which actually I think films right next to call me cat um I also work at Warner Brothers um so it's just been um like gosh what a fascinating you know kind of book ending of your life I mean you were a little one I was you started I was uh four years old when I started working in the business I started doing commercials and things like that um and I was like for a little over four and a half when I did my first television appearance on Valerie um which was uh the Valerie Harper show yeah and then uh and then I got cast from doing that onto full house at like barely five so what what do you remember of being that like do you because I barely remember things like I was in I did square dancing in kindergarten when I was four so like I remember some things but like how much do you remember kind of of that period of your life I you know I mean I think oftentimes what we remember we have flashes of what we remember and we also have lots of flashes of what our photographs tell us and luckily that was a pretty well documented period of my life uh so I have like these really great reference points to be like oh yeah yeah yeah I remember that or like these pictures either that you know were behind the scenes that my mom took or whatever but it seems you know video and John Stamos took tons and tons of video so we've got all this video growing up like I actually am fortunate because I I not only remember it fairly well but I have all of these reference points to like trigger those memories so it was I mean I don't remember much of my life before being on which most of us you know likely don't I mean five years old I mean most of us are like I don't know so um I imagine that you know you spent those kind of formative Elementary School years and really into your Junior High years yeah in Middle School it wasn't until uh I started high school that I was going to school full-time wow so what gosh what was education like for you because like again I started working regularly you know when I was 14 which is like a very different phase of life like right you have different tutors for subjects and it's like you're in algebra too and like there's a lot to like hold on to right but you know you had to kind of like learn all the basic stuff that happens in elementary school like in a very different environment yes and no I you know it's I was really fortunate um when so the first season of Full House I was five years old I had just started kindergarten now I was in kindergarten for about three days and and got moved out and tested out of kindergarten you're like peace out peace out see you later no and and um they they were gonna move me into second but moving to first grade so they moved me into first grade and I so you were precocious I mean that's yeah yeah and I don't say that it's like that that sounds like no no but I skipped kindergarten the finger painting you know I mean something no but something about you because like whatever my brother skipped second grade like but there was something about you at that age where they were like no I was reading by the time before I was four I could pick up most any book and read it I you know was out of I I was yes precocious is a good way to put it uh so I started first grade and I was doing Full House and that first season I think like the first season and a half it was the usual sitcom work schedule it was five days a week work three weeks off one week so the weeks I was off I would go to regular school and then I would be tutored on set because we were kind of still you know figuring it out by the time I wanna say the second season second or third season rolled around um maybe even yeah about third season I was able to go to school in the morning and then my mom would pick me up because I lived in Orange County back in the days when you could make it from Orange County to LA in under an hour you know it was just oh so very long ago um and my mom would pick me up from school at lunch I'd work on my script in the car I'd come to work and I'd rehearse some stuff in the afternoon and then Thursdays and Fridays were like a block and shoot and audience tape days and then those days I would be exclusively on set because we had to go later so I would have to start and it was just normal for you like it was just like I go to school and this is my after school thing I do I would do that I got used to like traveling on weekends and doing you know um a homework in the car or you know on set or like banking three hours you know so you could the next day you wouldn't have to do as much school or whatever um but I think honestly for the way my brain works um having gotten diagnosed with ADHD later in life I I have found that looking at all of those ways that I grew up I think were actually it was like the perfect environment for someone like me because I was constantly stimulated right and doing something different and learning something new and balancing three or four different things and going in different directions so yeah I think if anything that was it was like the best place for my brain to flourish foreign breakdown is supported by athletic greens we use athletic greens every day we started taking athletic greens mostly because Jonathan was tired of me complaining about the thousands and millions of pills I had to take to get all those holes in my diet filled in what's athletic greens well one delicious scoop has 75 high quality vitamins minerals Whole Foods Source superfoods probiotics and adaptogens to help start our day right one of the reasons I love athletic greens besides the fact that it takes the place of 8 000 million hundred pills is that it is lifestyle friendly so I happen to be vegan but if you're vegan paleo keto maybe you're just dairy free maybe you're gluten free maybe you're watching your sugar well 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maybe I should explore this as a potential diagnosis or label my girls were struggling with it and I was reading more and more about girls and how ADHD affects them and I was different than in boys very different tell us a little bit about what you learned um it looks like talking a lot it looks like not being able to shut up in class and let me tell you that was the number one thing I got in trouble for like name on the board every day teachers hated me but they loved me but they were like she can't I don't physically think she can stop talking wow and I was like I could for podcast hosts yeah terrible you know what it's true you're gonna be in town tomorrow and I'm gonna give you the what for about that comment positive so I just had a friend of mine 65 years old just recently talked and realized that she had ADHD and now she's looking back at her entire life wondering like oh my gosh so many things talk about me when I'm right in the room Jonathan I guess you don't look a day over 60. and and then also the flip side was she was asking like okay now that I have that like how do I know what my superpowers are because it does come with extra abilities in certain areas the one thing that drove me a little bit crazy about realizing that maim has as much or more ADHD that I do is that she used to get annoyed with me for like you're not focused you're doing too many things but really it was that she needs me to just be like this totally still because it distracts her right that's that's the problem put two ADHD people in a room together and watch 17 things not get done simultaneously I you know or if you can Channel it well that's the thing is my area what I realized is you know people on set would I mean you would not know it even now like I've moved into directing and then I can keep 9 000 plates spinning in my head like I know what hand I picked up what with like I know where something what like every single detail I can remember as an actor and or director I get home I can't find my keys and what I realized is is most people with ADHD have an area of hyper Focus mine is what I love to do which is perform and be on set and so the reason I never feel more at home than when I do on set is one because I literally grew up there from the age of four and two because it's the area where my brain is like yes I'm it like I'm in the place where I thrive so um I think you know it's interesting to go along and learn these things about yourself and kind of go back and piece things together and you get to give yourself a little break and go oh I didn't know that then so I felt like might something was wrong with me because I didn't have it figured out until now I've heard you describe something similar the way you break down a script the way you know where everyone is supposed to be in a scene the way that like everything tracks and you're tracking every part and it's all making sense to you like that level of diligence and focus definitely comes out and I've seen you you know talk about directing and be in the same Zone where you're just like it just all is like clear to you well I mean I think look I I can't speak for you or for you you know for me there's a there's also a real safety in that level of vigilance about details because it means that the focus is anywhere but on me like I don't I don't really have to like do I have to pee do I have to eat it doesn't matter right I'm just like yeah what is I'm dialed into you know everything else so it really is it's I mean in some ways I think it's a like you know it's compensating for something it's like it's right it's like a defense right look you pull the thread of this sweater and it's complicated yeah the whole thing's gonna unravel yeah but it is it's part of so much of what makes us really good at what we do yeah and then in other areas be like oh my god did I I don't for most of my adult life I've had a bell on my keys and on my wallet because I lose them all the time so at least I know to like jingle jangle every jacket because it's almost always like somewhere like that one of the biggest misunderstandings that we had was when you were writing your script and rewriting your script you were in like the later phases of uh the redrafts and when she like we would talk about a note and then she would be like got it okay I'm gonna sit and write rewrite this scene and then we weren't in the same room we were hanging out over zoom and then I would go and start scrolling and that scrolling would be distracting her so she wanted me to just sit and watch I'm a very quick writer very quick writer but like that was Agony for me like yeah I could I'd be dead it would yeah that would be a lot also I love how we have sidetracked this conversation into a full ADHD bloke an ADHD episode when I think about also your like Full House life and then your Fuller house life and I didn't mean to say like it's bookended because you have a long life and career ahead of you but I I wonder I know you've been asked so many things about so many aspects of Full House and Fuller house so I'm trying to like find different ways to like talk about things that maybe you haven't you know maybe explored the same way and one of the things I was thinking about is what are sort of your Reflections that like kind of you know this very early moment of your career was essentially you know um rebooted you know so many decades later like what is that obviously it speaks to the the popularity of the show and the interest but kind of personally like it I I would imagine it must be so interesting to like you're playing you know you get to have a character grow up right so what is that like as an actor like to get to you know have a character grow up and you don't see all those years in between but you're what happened after this whole time has been off right I mean you know I I was always really excited to get to come and bring Stephanie sort of Back to Life um Stephanie was such a fun character to play as a kid and you know it's it's so weird because I don't know oftentimes I feel like I don't know sort of where Steph ends and I begin like we have this very blurred self I mean I'm very clear that I am not Stephanie uh but I no but but you know what I mean like I it it's your worst surface as a kid they they really use so much of who I was to inform who Stephanie was and who Stephanie was was this kind of Amplified version of who I was so it it I liked her I liked being her and and that made me I think like me because it was you know these things and this person that I sort of was anyway so getting to come back and play that person decades later um and have stuff have you know I like I gave Steph some backstory you know yes it was a sitcom and it's whatever but I was like what happened to stuff in between like you know why was Steph chronov away from her family for a while like what you know Steph kind of went and did her own thing and like this is hard for her to come back to and you know this adjustment and all of this kind of what's the craziest part of her backstory that you gave her in your head like did she join the circus for a minute I mean Steph lit Steph basically it's in in a way she was you know DJing in Europe like she basically I I feel like Steph got it like moved to Europe probably for a dude or a relationship and the guy like some some idiot guy and like did he give her ecstasy at a party and he told her water with his baby or something like that or like he or or he was just kind of a douchebag like music producer you know what I mean and then and then she wound up staying there in Europe and being like you know what screw this guy like I'm gonna do my thing and she did that and that's why she had been gone from family so long but also like it was kind of a shitty relationship so she was she was really like I didn't want to be with anybody she just wanted to do her own thing and like you know her sister obviously with her happy family was like I I just it really hurt right you know there was a lot going there's a lot of layers and probably none of that ever showed up and if it was probably in the episode where I argued with the clown because God knows that was some hard-hitting emotional topic I love that I love that notion also that you know you you have you each had to have you know kind of a journey and I think you know another kind of interesting Challenge and you know you were you were so young so like whereas like the DJ character you know she was like older and like doing like already like tweeny things like teeny things like it's different and you know my mom is the middle of three girls okay so whenever I see like a show with like you know three girls or whenever I like meet people who are like one of three girls like I'm always like tell me all the things my mother was the middle child okay and so there's like a huge Dynamic also to your character that was like so the middle child meaning like in in the most I think helpful and appropriate ways for a TV show to inform like about birth order and especially like with the dads and like all good right but then I also think about um you know your identity is also in real life in that you were different people right you had I mean I don't mean to group um Mary Kate and Ashley because they were playing one person you know they were very little but let's say we had these like three personas right and like you know Candace was like she was Candace and like they were like the little ones and then here you are and you're really like also in terms of like the public eye like you are you're like that middle child because it's like look so tell me tell me what it was like to sort of like play the middle child but also feeling even in your like celebrity presence you were the middle child I have a great middle child story from full house that is literally it is it was unintentional but is completely the epitome of middle child moment so there's an episode in Full House where Jesse and Becky are moving out of the house okay and you know when Jesse moved into the house he moved into Stephanie's old bedroom correct with the pink bunnies now the pink bunnies were supposedly hand cut by Pamela Stephanie's mom Jesse's sister and placed on Stephanie's room when she was a baby yeah so those pink bunnies were Stephanie's room okay the episode where Jessie moves out yes um I believe Michelle gives Jessie the pink bunny or vice versa no Michelle gives Jessie the pink bunny or vice versa something happened and I was like wow but those are not it's not like in real life like now looking back on it I'm like but that was like it's just so funny I was like oh what a tree now I do I actually know what it's like to be a middle child well but it was cuter if Michelle did right you know and the episode where um where Steph moves into the bathroom um I died hysterically laughing because my younger daughter um did that several years ago and like just went and camped out in the bathroom um like brought pillows blankets like just went was like I like it in here and I'm moving in and her sister was like get out of the bathroom that was interesting but um but yeah it was it was you know there were definitely those times as an only child I really was like oh so this is the in-between experience you know and and um it was fun to have that faux family but not gonna lie it was nice to be able to go home as an only child and be like I always have to be me to worry about right it's interesting because you know we just we lost Leslie Jordan recently you know from our show and um it's you know very very interesting to try and it was in the first commercial I was in wow what was it for it was a uh oh my gosh was it the Sizzler or the Oscar Meyer commercial I mean these are two excellent choice excellent choices and I'm trying to remember whichever but I anyway it was one of those and he played I I actually wasn't in it in my scene with him okay but for ever like almost my entire career every time I would see Leslie Jordan not the first thought was like oh my God there's this man who's had this amazing crew who is a genius and I love but was like oh that was from my commercial like you know what I mean like as like a little in that sense of like you know it's all about me sort of no I get it but um I loved him no he was he was a really very special man um thank you but you know the thing that's like hard to kind of articulate without sounding like a crazy Hollywood person and I think you'll totally get it is like I wish there was a different word for the kind of family that's created on a set because it's not a family in the sense of like it's not your family meaning you don't share family trauma you don't share you know holidays or you don't share like people in common that like oh aunt whatever you know right you don't share a rhythm of a calendar where it's like when are we going on when am I going to see my cousins right it's not that kind of family but it is it feels as you know as connected and not in like a Hollywood Way of like oh my God we all love each other but like we spent you spent more time with the people at work than you did with your home family and you know honestly I look at it like we did we would plan vacations together all right we would go our our teachers would plan like field trips for us because we'd always miss out on the field so like you know my school field trips were with them and we would go and we'd go on location and we'd go travel together or you know I grew up and I spent a lot of time with Bob's daughters I would go spend a weekend at his house and we'd all go to John's and his sisters were always there and his mom and dad we all knew each other's families our families would get together for you know weddings funerals but celebrations holidays rap parties so we did know each other's families we did share like I mean it was right it was really really deep yeah and these people and I and also like it that's an extension of the fact that you start with this working relationship that's very intense and you're with each other and I know you know when I was acting and you know there are hours that you're allowed to work when you're little but still you're spending like most of your waking hours like these are often the first people you see in the morning they're the people that you you know have breakfast with you have lunch with you sometimes have dinner even you know people that you work with when you don't feel well totally they're the people that's a kid right who have to take that and like they are the people who you know are around you every day like they are well and I think also for for people like you and me who like literally spent like formative years yeah those were the people that like knew me when I you know was a kid and then watched me like be become a teen or a queen like they're part of your life and yeah you know it's almost like the way that I kind of think about it is like if you have distant family that you see a couple times a year right or once a year you know they can be like oh my God you grew so much but with your set family no one really notices that stuff because you're together all the time maybe you're just all growing together right you're all there's there's none of that like you know people would sometimes ask like Ted Wass you know who played my dad on Blossom like what was it like to watch the kids grow up and he's like it was like watching my own kids grow up they were like oh my God what right you're like the crazy part was I remember when we would come back from Hiatus oh my God like you know and it wasn't like hiatuses were really long it was maybe two and a half months six weeks ago and you know kids if you had kids on a show man they'd come back and they're like you know we'd come back to the show and the kids would like totally you know their voice changed and they're yeah we're like oh my God now what and all the ideas for this [Music] Miami Alex breakdown is supported by better help when you're at your best you can do great things but sometimes life gets you bogged down you might feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up the way you want to working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you because when you feel empowered you're more prepared to take on everything that life throws at you therapy's been a game changer for me and Jonathan and better help is a great option if you're thinking of giving therapy a try and starting to unpack some of your feelings your emotions looking at your childhood or looking at what's going on right now better help is convene flexible affordable and entirely online you just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge if you want to live a more empowered life therapy can get you there visit betterhelp.com break today to get 10 off your first month that's betterhelp help help.com break Miami Alex breakdown is supported by Helix sleep I've been sleeping well because of this Helix mattress for a long time I do have sleep issues but Helix has fixed so many aspects of my life and my sleep and I'm so grateful to them Helix sleep is a premium mattress brand that has tailored mattresses based on your unique sleep preferences the Helix lineup has 14 unique mattresses including a collection of luxury models a mattress for Big and Tall sleepers and even a mattress made just for kids but my kids like sleeping on mine and so I got them adult mattresses everyone sleeps differently that's why Helix has several different mattresses to choose from each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences I'm a midnight person I'm a Twilight but both of our mattresses are a major upgrade from our last ones I sleep every which way even the ways you're not supposed to Helix does not make my body hurt and that's so important Helix is offering up to 200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners and I have to say I love of these pillows go to helixsleep.com breakdown with Helix better sleep starts now Jonathan are you doing anything that's very sensitive of you Jody I appreciate that I want to check in on you and make sure I know that mime doesn't listen to you so um I just want to be your new favorite really I feel seen I feel heard I feel accepted um let's talk a little bit about your let's talk a little bit about your kids because I believe we all have a child born the same year you have a child born in 2008 I have an 08 and a 10. okay so I have a 05 and an eight and he has an 08 so we all share 14 or 15 I might ever hear that this like 08 is in reference to my kids soccer teams when they're like oh they're they're an oh like because it goes by what year they're born so yes so we're building so you have two girls I do you have two 12 and 14. you are just in it is my guess I am seventh and ninth grade and you know I have to say those are both horrible years for me just want you to know I'm in there they're hard and horrible years for me and for most people too but I will say my ninth grader is in a much better position than she was I think in middle school and and my younger one is just kind of in the thick of it now I feel like seventh grade just as a rule is like really really terrible um I remember very very few redeeming things about my seventh grade year like it was the first year of Middle School it was just constant bullying and harassment and like everyone was terrible we were terrible to each other we were terrible the teachers we were terrible to our parents we're just terrible and thank God we made it through right but I see it now um and I would say I have apologized to my mom more in the last couple of years than I have ever in my entire life right I just call my mom I'm like I'm so sorry oh my God I had no idea you're right this was this is you you're right you did know I thought you didn't know you knew I know they don't know that I know right it's fun isn't it um and you live in LA I mean the LA area yeah yeah okay so you um you're raising them in La which also is its own and people are like well if you don't like it get out and it's like I thought I don't like it it's just like it's very different from raising children I think many other places absolutely look city kids are City kids are different than than Suburbia kids yeah and and I say that having sort of had a foot in both yeah I grew up in Orange County in like Suburbia land like very very normal outside of La childhood Blue Collar working parent you know like that was my upbringing but then also have this foot in like this really sort of weird fun over the top like you know L.A experience so I do know that it is different and I do know that my growing up in Orange County was a different experience than growing up than my kids here in LA but by that same token I know that so much of my experience growing up here in LA and growing up in this business and being exposed to so many different people um really helped shape me into the person that I am today and so in that regard I do feel like my kids still have that experience of just the the world is very big around them and sometimes that's a terrible thing and sometimes that's a great thing um and unfortunately these days I don't know that any of us are safe from some of the scary stuff that happens whether you're in a city or a suburb so totally you know there's some of that that you just kind of go I I guess you know some of it has to is just kind of the world that they live in now but I love that my girls have had this experience and um you know they they have grown up in ways and around people and experiences I think that um are gonna really serve to make them interesting people there yeah for sure um the other thing I wanted to you know mention something Jonathan and I talk about a lot you know there's being a parent is like its own like what um it's its own journey and mostly I really feel like I wish someone had told me like hey guess what everything you didn't work out from your childhood right right when you have kids you're gonna have to go through it like to the nth degree with like a time limit and with someone shouting at you and throwing food at you like everything comes up yeah yeah it's gonna be you get to learn how to how you wish you would have been parented right you get to learn how helpless your poor parents were you know and how overwhelmed they were and right well and I you know I can't help but like think about the timeline your kids are about the age you were when Full House kind of was ending am I doing the math right yeah yeah um and also you know a lot of the challenges that you've been incredibly Brave in talking about and Incredibly helpful I think to so many people in being open about a lot of those things you know for you did start to kind of like bubble and simmer when you were their age and I wonder um you know do you feel like you have special like protective Insight you know about those years for them you know or do you have fears about it because like for me and I think for Jonathan as well it's like a combination of like when we get to like big Milestones or things that were hard it's like part of me is like oh but I don't have to live it again but then it's like oh but I kind of it did oh right I mean that's the terrifying part as a parent I think that the realization that your heart now lives outside of your body and actually can conducts its business completely separate from you and really doesn't ask you if it's okay but is fully capable of breaking you without any of your input and that's what parenting is in a lot of ways it is trusting your heart to be outside of your body and just hoping that nothing goes wrong you know I'd like to think that because of what I've been through uh I have the ability to see it coming quicker I have my kids are gonna realize and know better um I I'm gonna be more aware because I worked in treatment for years you know um and I have spent enough time in my own sobriety in my own therapy um and in life to know that unfortunately none of those things guarantee right anything and that if people who got sober could see it coming any sooner than their kids there would be never any you know right generational families you know celebrating I always say that's a base together at a 12-step meeting I always say that I'm like if we had figured out forget about sobriety like if we just figured out parenting we wouldn't have to fight about it like the fact that it would be 9 000 books right like the fact that anyone including myself you know the fact that anyone might feel at any point certain that they know what to do with anyone else's child the only time you know what to do with someone else's child is when you don't have children then you know everything so much I know so much and you know like I got my degree in elementary education I was gonna be a teacher and so I worked in classrooms and stuff when I had graduated college and let me tell you man other people's kids they love you they listen to you I mean not all of them but yeah but a majority of them it's because kids don't want to listen right get those same kids at home with their own parents and it my kids and I'm like what oh I used to take my kids to my friend Nancy's house so he would eat a vegetable right yeah if Nancy put it in a soup it was like sent from God yeah I try and put it in the same time this is [ __ ] right right dog food right I don't like it it's not right it's always someone else but you know I I the one thing I have For Better or Worse always um said that I want to be with my kids is honest um and open and so you know while there are not there are lots of details about my story and who I am that my kids don't know there are lots that they do know and you know my daughter actually told me the other day that um she's like so grateful that she and I have such an open relationship and that she tells me everything which probably means she doesn't tell me everything but she does but that means she tell me a good portion and I tell her I know you're not gonna tell me everything and I make sure that there are people in her life that she trusts that I trust that she can go to you know whether they're my parents or my best girlfriends or my husband or whatever so that she knows like look sometimes mom doesn't have all the answers and I will tell my kids that like I look I don't know I'm doing my best I realize that may not make you feel like super great but I'm just trying to figure it out too yeah well I think that's so helpful it's one of the things you know that um I think is a foundation of a really healthy dialogue you know for for kids to know like I'm not I'm not perfect you know and many of us were raised with this notion of like Father Knows Best or mother knows best and like and in many cases that that does make you feel secure because like oh they know right but then like but then you feel betrayed because you're like they didn't know no this is a good one so yeah I grew up well my parents uh my parents are from uh the Bronx okay in New York it's a place it's where the Yankees are from um so I grew up with this it wasn't even a belief it was a truth right that stores were closed on Sundays okay just all sorts that was right right everything was closed closed everything's closed on Sundays so my whole life was kind of geared around like we did things during the week or like on Saturday I didn't grow up observing the Sabbath we grew up I grew up kosher it's a long story anyway everything's closed on Sundays and I start like going out into the world doing things being a human and um turns out things are not closed on Sundays they're not they're not but in the 1940s and 50s in New York things were closed on Sundays right it was called blue laws and there's still a District of New Jersey where actually I filmed my movie where things are closed on Sundays yes however that that's only true in this like one region of New Jersey that's not where my parents were from they had never been to that part of New Jersey so they technically wasn't a lot but it wasn't at a point right but that to me like that's even what's funnier is that like there was no need for anyone to ever look into anything because things are closed on Sundays so here I am spending my whole life on Sundays I'm bored right on Sundays I watch a lot of Twilight Zone and it's not that they were keeping it from me there's no maliciousness in this but it was just like that was my life is that things are closed on Sunday I wish someone told I wish someone could tell me now that things were closed on silence and I believe it and I just tell you I mean to be honest I don't leave my house much on these days anyway I don't know who am I kidding but that's a great example of like we could I mean sure there was no Google but I'm sure we could have asked someone is this a rule in California 3 000 miles from where my parents were raised but what it is what happens is that it becomes and then you go no my parents said and then you get into an argument at school and then you end up in therapy at 16. look if you wait until you were 16. oh how lucky no I look I first of all I think everyone needs therapy I it's it is I you're right I love my therapist thank God for therapy I I like I love my therapy what do you love about therapy you know what my therapist said to me recently she said um and and it sort of ties into being a parent yourself is she said that parenting is learning how to re-parent yourself and it's learning how to be the parent that that you needed to show up for you uh in good ways and and bad like in all of the ways that you know maybe didn't happen uh and that there's nothing wrong with your parents and it's okay that they did things wrong or different or different right we're right that it that it doesn't make you a bad person for then talking about it and being like that kind of [ __ ] me up you know what I mean like because I think that's like there's so much we have this weird parental thing tied into like oh I can't I don't want to like think that I did that they did a bad job they didn't do much you know and but yet at the same time like I know right I'm and I'm very open I go look you guys so this is because you are gonna need therapy I know it not because I'm a terrible parent but because I am a parent human yeah and that's why do you think that our experience because I have a very like that's a very similar script to what's in my head and I wonder if if there's something about also growing up in the industry where kind of like everyone was my parent meaning I was sort of in a situation where I was really constantly sort of like monitored and protected right and just like more monitored and hopefully protected I mean I I had a very thank God I had a very positive experience like did you hate I was like no no I loved it yeah but I know not everyone had that I know I know you're set yeah I think your set was known to be a very clean set and ours was as well meaning I some people grew up watching like people were doing like drugs but even so like it was kind of always like someone was watching you know there was a studio teacher yeah or just like a PA or an A.D like someone was always like if I had to pee it was like okay well we're gonna like wait outside your door make sure like you come right back out and I'm wondering though if that also like it's like we had this like uber parental like everybody was our parent so there's this notion that like if I speak badly everyone's gonna hear like it feels like the audience is bigger in my head baby I think also that was something that was at least in my house and not in a not in a bad way like that my but as a reality of growing up in this business what my mom always reminded me of and I can't imagine it these days but what my mom would always remind me is people are watching you yeah oh that's creepy it's true and you know I knew from a young age that I didn't have the luxury to go out and do stupid things or well I did and I and I did I I had the luxury and I did them but I but you did we didn't have the ease but it didn't have the ease but I think it you know I grew up with that being the voice in my head of you just you know be just be agreeable be and and I heard someone say it to who recently um that growing up in this business you're often taught that being agreeable is the most important part 100 set um and I think most people have the opposite expectation of this business that you're taught to be difficult as a child actor as a child actor you you know you part of what your job is and what makes you a good child actor is that you're like I will stand here I get it right just do what's asked the first time and that's it none of that like you know it sounds sort of what but like that wasn't necessarily a bad thing growing up like it was just sort of my experience and it was like being in class go pee before you go to school right um but I always knew that my life wasn't private and you know the first time I was in uh tabloid was I think nine or ten years old and it was completely fabricated it was saying that I was a problem on set and that Bob was trying to get me fired and and this was at a time when like I said I was very close with Bob's family and his daughters and was spending time with like his family on weekends and like and so I'm really untrue yeah and I remember it was Star Magazine and I remember like nine or ten years old having to come to terms with and understand the reality of sometimes you don't get to be heard and that you know and and that you just have to continue on regardless of what the external is that that you have to just kind of keep going through that and I don't think a lot of nine year or 10 year olds have to learn that lesson sure but I I look at that also as like that idea has served me well in a lot of ways too but it definitely I've had to dissect it as I get older it's made me able to do my job without getting sucked into my feelings but then when it comes time to like to like oh what are my feelings it's like I don't know those are those are so locked away right now it's interesting and I'm I'm sure you get I'm sure you get this a lot more than you should meaning I don't think anyone should ask really anyone this but I'm sure we both have gotten asked this many many times I was asked it just today I had a speaking engagement and you know someone was like why do so many child actors turn to drugs and alcohol and like I really don't I don't love that question because what I like to point out to people is why do so many humans that's always and I say like you know I went to public school in Los Angeles I was part of the busing program like plenty of kids were trying to fill that god-shaped hole right whatever they could and for some people it's food and for some people but but I do want to I do want to say and like it's not my business to speak for anyone and also you know I've I've known many actors who did not make it you know I I've worked with many actors and socialized with many people who are no longer with us so I always felt like when people ask me that it's like it's not for me to speak to their memory or to their families who are grieving for the rest of their lives you know for me to say like well my parents did this and that's why or like or even to be like you know and for me my story happens to be like I'm a second generation American my parents were very very strict but I have no idea really the intricacies of anyone's Human Experience so I would always say I would always say like it's much more complicated than that it's more of a mental health issue and like a crisis of a denial that mental health exists but when you talk about what you just mentioned that for me doesn't relate to drugs and alcohol it relates to just our Human Experience when we've been through the kind of thing and this is not specific to actors this isn't like Oh Maya and Jody talking you know about that right this is just like we're all under different kinds of pressure there's pressure in the family there's pressure outside you play sports correct if you're you know whatever Arts dancer I mean yeah right so our experience is absolutely more magnified more sure observed but that pressure of it really is most convenient if you have the fewest needs possible that happens to a lot of kids it's just in the industry it's our go-to right it's our go-to like there's literally we don't get sick days yeah yeah exactly you're like and are you dying like yeah maybe well right come in and see if we can get it done right yeah exactly and I remember like I I am but to this day yeah taking a sick days for like I have to be yep crawling near dead crawling and only with the pandemic did I finally go you know what take a sick day because a it's not worth it and be like no one wants your sick ass around go stay home you know what I mean but it was yeah that that program it was so that was just a part of like you just you don't you don't get to take a sick day well and also it reminds me of when we talk to people who grew up you know who people who grew up in alcoholism or with active Addiction in their homes like there's often not room to have needs because it's like it's always about who who else and that's really what it's like to be a kid on a set even if you're the star of the show that's what it's like like what do you need what does he need okay well there's not room for me it's also did I just compare being on a sitcom to Growing Up in alcoholism you did it you did and then I just meant like having having to take into account everybody else's needs because they're important that's called codependence yeah no uh no uh yeah um yeah here's the thing sort of tying all of it together I I too say the same thing about addiction and um and growing up in this business you know I grew up um again went to a public school had lived in a great neighborhood with you know great schools and great education and parents all had jobs and all you know families living together and quote unquote you know happy families whatever you want to call it and there were kids in my neighborhood that OD'd and died in their homes and that you know that went to jail and that went and had their own struggles with addiction and that wound up on the streets but the other you know five or six kids in my neighbor you don't hear about them but you hear about me because people grew up watching me so much like what you said I don't know that it's necessarily it's hard to gauge right it's hard to say does this affect child actors or people who have grown up in this business more or do we just know about it because every time it happens to one of those people we hear so it seems like it's more often and then you know also is it the personality type that's drawn to doing this right is it the you know the personality type of a kid that makes it that does well in this business is a kid that probably has a little touch of ADHD and maybe a little like neurodiversity but maybe maybe either little narcissism or ex or the opposite and extreme people-pleasing right and codependency and all of these things that as a kid makes for a good actor you don't necessarily they're not as a kid they're not yet maladaptive practices they're just who you are and and then you grow up and you go oh I let those things I never learned how to like unlearn some of those things but I don't think that it's because I was on TV I think that was who I was anyway but that you know what I mean it's like this fascinating you can't pull them apart I don't think I think the person that I was may be interested in entertainment I think entertainment at a young age shaped who I became I think who I became was you know the path I was on anyway but also you know largely shaped by a lot of weird things that happened growing up so you know it's it is we're complicated personalities and child actors are you know we're a little different well said really I I honestly I'll be honest I've been talking about these things I mean I'm 47 so you know I've been acting you know I started Blossom when I was 14. you know I don't know if I've had this level of analysis and camaraderie around this you know I'm always very nervous to say like I'm always very nervous to like blame the industry on problems that we might have but also like very you know very reluctant to also be like I made it out because also like you don't like people don't know the reason honestly the reason that this we started talking about this because I was talking about therapy and only in the last maybe year or so have I really started going like oh wait I get to pick this stuff apart and and and realize that life is that gray area right nobody has a perfect childhood nobody has a perfect experience and there are also great things that happen in terrible circumstances right and all of those Shades of Gray are true and until I'm willing to look at the pluses and minuses and the gray areas of all of the things of my life I don't think I can really adequately get down to the bottom of the [ __ ] that I need to until I can go oh that was kind of good but that kind of was a weird but that was awesome you know like that's life it's all very complicated and you know I I think remembering that and pulling those things apart without feeling that guilt and the shame and feeling like I had a wonderful experience I still struggled with addiction I don't think it was entirely the business's fault but there was a layer of it do you share your sobriety date or your current sobriety or even roughly speaking like you know I are you a toddler no I'm not I'm double digits okay um I'm double digits and I um are you a teen or not yet no you're not old enough to be a team no no not yet okay so you're you're a kid you're still you're like and you're in elementary school and trying to get to Junior High right and you know and I will say like recovery looks a lot different these days than um than it did in the beginning and I think that for me my experience and my practice of of sobriety of of 12-step principles and programs um and what that looks like for me like it's changed a little bit over the years but it is still the through line that like I try and you know practice these principles and all my Affairs because I learned to just be a much better human yeah and I find myself to be a better human today um because I still look at how I can what is my part in things how do I you know can I keep my side of the street clean if I you know [ __ ] something up can I go back it's a 10 step that we can do every night you know you know when we talk about like our personalities when we're little and especially you know thinking of you starting so young and um you know as someone who started late I mean I was considered late and people think that's ridiculous and I like talk to people like you who like literally like it's what you know like for me I had like a normal right I mean it wasn't so normal but yeah I had like a I had my version of normal normal um right a normal you know I I do I want to ask a little bit um when you talk about you know your mom and dad so I didn't know this about you so you were adopted yes as a little tiny one it's a little tiny one you're a little over a year old okay and you were raised by is it your uncle no well okay so it's my it's it's complicated yeah um it sometimes requires a diagram but I'll do my best to uh so and I talk about it in the book um My adoptive parents my mom and dad Sam and Janice okay Sam's ex-wife okay his ex-wife is my biological dads yes Aunt oh okay so my God adopted dad's ex-wife is my biological great aunt got it and my dad has three kids with her so technically they are my cousins yes my blood my half siblings right adoption right so basically but they were all like adults yeah so you were essentially adopted into extended family is kind of how it is yeah exactly and it was yeah it was you know there were connections there and it was you know I I and I was fortunate that I did not have to uh that I and I had family that you know had brought me home from the hospital um when I was an infant not my my adopted parents but uh you know other family and friends that had taken me home you know I I was lucky that I didn't wind up um in the system and that I did have people were you born in the system I was I was born in L.A County Jail well I mean technically I was born at USC County Medical Center okay but as part of that that's fascinating yeah I I mean I'm just being honest I don't know that I've ever spoken to someone you know who know who was who was really part of the system like that yeah and then my yeah my um my biological dad uh was actually in Soledad State Prison when I was young um which was a reason that other family had to take me home as well um and that it was family on his side but he was in prison um and was actually uh stabbed and killed in a prison riot when I was about nine months old wow and um so you know it's did you know your bio mom no I did not oh um and it wasn't ever anything that was kept for me but it was something and I think honestly as again the healing that happened as I got older and became a mom yeah and suddenly had this different understanding of what what being a parent is and what being a mom is and a human being and experiencing all of those things um the amount of forgiveness that I had for my biological mom was huge and uh really like life-changing you know what we know about the the prison system which many of us have talked about for many many years or as I've been recently pointing out the hippies we're talking about in the 60s and everyone was like you're crazy you're on drugs well guess what prison reforms has been around exactly if you look at Victorian time you know correct like all that you're like it's so weird it's like the same things happening correct but what we know you know about um a huge percentage of people um you know who struggle with mental health challenges or who are often um products of abuse you know who end up in in a system that then places an extraordinary amount of psychological pressure and it in many cases I'm just gonna say it's torture you take traumatized individuals you put them in further traumatizing situations and then you wonder why they traumatize people when they get out in environments that are conducive to trauma and then people and then you throw more money at traumatizing them on the back end instead of preventing it from happening in the first place but that's where we're at but I do no I mean I'm not I'm not dismissing it like no no you know I'm really passionate no and when I when I showed my kids the 13th the ability Renee um you know documentary and it was like um you know first of all it was shocking to I mean there I showed it in an age-appropriate you know fashion but you know the notion like of educating kids and saying like this is not new like this has been going on and it's a you know continue but I'm just I'm sort of interested because as we think about sort of how we end up you know the way we end up and like the path that we take um you know and obviously it sounds like your parents did a really a really one I mean I think you're amazing and um my parents my mom and dad like are and I think about it all the time like yeah they really they took on something um and a situation and a kid that needed it yeah and my parents have been the most amazing moment I mean they have stood by me you know when I've really really really really pushed them right well and I guess that was sort of my question because you know obviously we're a product of so many things but I do wonder and I'm sure this is part of you know the work that you get to and that we all get to keep doing when we go to therapy you know do you do you think about sort of you know what we come from in terms of you know there's there's a lot that is nurture there's a lot that is nature um you know when people are like oh is this and you know as a sciency person people ask me well is this you know is this like is this inherited is it I'm like well here's what's inherited coping mechanisms the way people talk the way people act and also you do get you know shaped but right exactly you can't it's so do you do you think about that or I mean I'm sure when you were I'm sure when you were a teen and when you were kind of like starting to struggle we don't always make those connections well by the time I was 15 I knew that I like I drank differently than other people I knew I was already I knew I had an issue with addiction I just knew it made me feel different than other people and I've always been pretty self-aware you knew that you drank differently than other people you knew that you came from kind of like a history of that but also that's not necessarily and what people don't understand it this is not really it's not a choice making process that we undergo it's a very especially when your brain is still developing and right right so I was just kind of curious I would imagine that at that young age you may not have realized like I think I'm repeating patterns that might have been you know well and I look at it now you know and I see I'm like oh look you know oh some attachment issues um some you know things that I that I didn't uh realize I had until I was like why is it that like you know my relationships are failures why is it that this is happening you know and and I think and and I was as an adoptee and as someone who is now much more vocal about that experience I think one of the things that happens um with adoptees is that we discount ourselves and think well all that happened before I remember right you know I mean like that was like the first year of my life like what the hell was it you know what I mean like all the rest of it was fine the body keeps score the body keeps the score such a great book and and I read that book and recommended to me by my wonderful um husband who is a therapist and social worker you know I read that book and I was like oh oh oh I get it like so again those what is it explain it to people who may not know you know what what happens let's say for in any way not yours but like in anyone's first year like what does what happens well basically I mean I am in no way is scientist nor did I write this book but uh according to my Layman's brain and its understanding you know the first year of life you are forming um all those important connective uh responses you know it's the reason that Reese's monkeys will cuddle you know a a a a furry thing that doesn't give them food and starve to death over something that feeds them but that is wired they they are hardwired to go for something that Comforts them even if it is actually detrimental to themselves so I think you know in that first year of life we are just looking to figure out how to survive really in the world and so so many of the basic things we learn about how to survive of crying to get attention or or you know um you know that our needs will be met that we are not alone that we know all those sorts of things if there is a disruption in those and sometimes there is for any period of time the longer that happens the less of those connections are made in the brain and so then the brain starts figuring out how to find other ways to cope you know and thank God the brain is a something that is you know malleable and and will change and rewire itself but those things are still affected right so people like me that maybe you know I and I talk about the story I was left alone for a certain amount of time as an infant and I got pneumonia and all sorts of things those are things I don't remember but my body does and so you know for me living a life long battle with anxiety and depression and all of those things um you know I had to really stop and look at and reconsider the importance of those things and not use them as an excuse but allow them to information right to enter my brain as part of the information of oh this is what's affecting me and again until I look at it I can't do anything about it so if I'm constantly going well that that's stupid there's no way that could be it and how do I know unless I look at it right you know and so I've been looking at it and I'm like I think there's a thing it's more than the first year they're showing that it's prenatal that the child is wired to the nervous system of the mother and that the state of the mother and the emotional state of the mother during the time of pregnancy is actually the first wiring yeah well Jonathan I also wondered since you were the one who recommended Peter Levine's book to me which is literally behind me in an unspoken voice over a decade ago oh yes that's also a book that's sitting on uh my office bookshelf yes Jonathan I wonder if you could speak a little bit to kind of what Jody just alluded to you know like I I don't remember that but my body does can you speak kind of from a somatic perspective about either your experience with that as a you know as a practitioner person or just as a person who's done that kind of Bodywork you articulated it perfectly there's a whole set of influences that most people are not aware of that are shaping how they experience the present and most of us are like if I don't remember it it doesn't exist but our precognition our pre-memory even in utero we are discovering that our experiences our connection to them to a caregiver are pre-birth mother's voice all of that they've studied yeah mother's voice is the mother experiencing their her own trauma while that then gets past those hormones get passed to the baby and then everything like even you could take it even further that it's not only about the um pre-memory years there's lots of stuff that happened that happens to us now that we don't remember I mean abs all kinds of trauma that doesn't that I'm you know will happen and go oh my God you know that's it's not always a fun experience when that comes back I don't want to get too deep into this because I do want to finish like and were you finished Jonathan by the way I'm so sorry it's okay keep going oh see I I'm trying to get better at remembering I am not never gonna hear the end of this I'm sorry a little bit now it's okay I'm gonna go work this out I'm just wondering I need to speak to your husband we have a couple of uh episodes coming up would you like to just sit in and moderate for us she's our guest co-host she's good at this because I've been trying to get better at doing it myself she is a desirable co-host on many reputable talk shows because if she's good at this thank you she's we've never had such a conscientious attentive aware I am just living my best dependent life right now to tell me more no I'm just kidding no I was gonna say I I don't feel I don't want to get like too deep because there's a couple more things I want to talk about that are specific to you but when we talk about the things that we choose to remember and the things we choose to forget yes as a female person I know that I definitely have accused and yes this is a gendered statement I'm just saying it I've accused more men than women in my life of not remembering things that I cannot believe they don't remember because they have real emotional significance to me and I also know that there are things that like I don't remember that literally happened right so there's this notion also and it may be gendered it may not be it might have been an unnecessary uh brooch of topic but the notion also of like memory's not so simple it's not just like I remember it because it happened and then the things that happened that I don't remember don't affect me it's so much more you remember your memory is based on your perception you see the world how you've experienced the world so you know a scenario that looks to you one way is going to look a completely different way to another person which is why witness testimony is a mess and winning all this right yes what are each of your earliest memories I remember preschool I yeah I read I remember a couple things I remember I can I mean Mel the grape um the the the juice that was served at my preschool like smells I mean are obviously always very important but like oh I can smell it even when it's not there I have an early one and it's not something that there's a photo of that's I always check because that was a really good point you made like sometimes we remember things because people told us about them or there's pictures or we're on television for a number of years right no I have a memory of playing with um what's that like uh kind of goopy it's not Play-Doh but it's that goopy stuff that you play with in preschool that's made of like cornstarch and flour and water oh uh Geck gack I love that Scott was like more certain than anything he's ever been certain of that that's good like basically it's like you touch it you touch it and it moves but then you put it down I remember playing with that I don't really remember like anything else and then I'm always like it did something terrible happen after that like I don't know right so remember that and I remember it was at a preschool it was at a church I did go to a Church Preschool but we rented a space right on um uh Hollywood Boulevard East of La Brea is where my mom uh said that that memory took place so that's pretty early yeah I remember I just the other day had a flash of a memory from preschool of and again it started with a smell um of like it was a classroom and I I think I walked into one of my kids classrooms recently for like for a whatever open houses and it was like the smell of old desks and old books and whatever and I was like oh my God I know the smell wow and I instantly flashed to me at a play kitchen like huh in the back of this preschool room or maybe yeah whatever it was yeah I just um I I want to know if you had to name let's call it five things what are five things you would say you do to kind of keep your Center um I meditate what kind of meditation uh whatever is on my phone app and I do like guided meditation guided meditations um or sometimes just music at night fade away or whatever um hold on one second theta waves or whatever yeah what is that there it uh theta waves are just really good to help calm anxiety is it like white noise similar yeah it's just it I don't know it's a neutral sound exactly you could Google sound but I also like guided meditations okay I listen to um Jonathan just pulled him up he apparently has been listening the whole time I uh I listened to um The Prophet by reading by Khalil Gibran whoa because I fall asleep or The Velveteen Rabbit a lot um I know weird um no lovely and then there's a meditation my favorite books as a kid yeah I have um I have a quote on my wall hanging about The Velveteen Rabbit about um that become about becoming real and that you're you know once your your eyes have been loved off and your hair worn out and all this it's one of my favorite one of my favorite quotes about how becoming real um doesn't always look pretty on the outside but it's the best on the inside so okay so that's two things so far meditation meditation reading books right books that you listen to um therapy it feels like reading therapy okay and what kind of therapy do you do I just do just Psychotherapy yeah yeah I've tried EMDR my brain it gets too distracted it was also hard because it was during covid so it was like trying to do it online I just okay but therapy reading do you are you a medication person I am a medication person would you consider that one of the things yeah I would I would put that probably in the top three um that has been life-changing for me okay um and I'm a huge advocate for um getting medication if you need it and and letting go of that judgment um and then maybe there's only four whatever you want and then I'm like well no there's there's more than I'm like well no my family and my dog and my my dog's a big one okay I have a dog I mean my dog is like I love my dog and she is big and fluffy what does she give you because what's the thing she gives me absolutely she she needs nothing from me although she is a needy creature um I don't have to she doesn't ask anything of me I don't have to explain myself I don't have to tell her what's going on in my head when it's going so fast I can't put it into words okay I can just lay on top of the dog and pet her big fluffy knife it's Comfort very much so it's unconditional unjudgmental um uh comfort that is in a way sort of selfish because it doesn't it's all really self-serving like we're getting the dog but you have to you have to like feed the dog oh my God no yeah the dog is the dog is a couple things look the dog what's her name her name is Issa oh she is uh she's a um shepherd German shepherd husky Chow Chow mix big fluffy yeah if I really think about the things that I do 100 solely for myself um though I would say those are the things like I just unapologetically like those five things I love that yeah um I have one more question before we let you go I'm wondering um if there have been times when you just kind of wanted to run away like just like 10 a.m today no but like I'm thinking especially to kind of like the harder times you know and like you know even when my kids were like little you know when it just felt like it just everything felt like really unmanageable and I you know I know you've had you you've had as you mentioned you've had relationships you're you're currently in what we hope is a happy and beautiful and really married in July it's amazing yeah you're you're a newlywed I am he's amazing but but you know kind of like all of that stuff aside like when things were harder like did you ever have that feeling of just like I wish I could just like turn it all off and just like start a new Anonymous life elsewhere I no joke probably feel that currently at least once a month um what is it and not because I uh am ungrateful for my life and not because I don't love what I do or my kids or any of that um but I I often times my anxiety um my anxiety and depression will get so bad that uh and this is I'm being very honest about this my anxiety depression will get so bad and it happens definitely at least once to twice a month that I just I want a tiny home in the middle of nowhere I want no electronics I want to read books and take walks with my dog and do jigsaw puzzles and write in a journal and like watch whatever the hell I want to watch and like that's it and I do and listen to music and that's I want no outside external noise because it's overwhelming sometimes and I I think I feel that way more now than I probably did when I was young and things were uncomfortable I think because now um I'm asking myself to in response to feeling that way what do I do I was gonna say what takes that when you're young and you're like oh whatever I just feel that I have you know you're just kind of messy and all over yeah now yeah I'm like I feel it and I go oh this requires me to reprioritize some things or or maybe my boundaries aren't strong enough maybe I need to say no to some things or maybe I need to put certain things down and do you know and and um I'm one of these days I may just do it and run away to my tiny home um and if I didn't do it during covid which was a really really hard time for me I had a real uh mental breakdown during covet uh lost 37 pounds like just really struggled I don't do well under stress and I'm worry and um I now when I have those thoughts of running away it makes me question how I can listen to myself to hold better boundaries for myself and um do a little better self-care you know and it's oftentimes I guess to revisit you know that that list um you know that we talked about um there's so many things I didn't get to um you you have so many other credits and I don't know maybe you'd come back and play some more another time because also like you have so many fun things that you do and you know you've you've branched into producing and just like so many so many cool things um that I didn't really get to to talk to you about um but I do want to say um that you do you have a podcast correct I do I have and I wanted to give that a special shout out yes I never thought I'd say this which is uh you're in your fifth season we finished our fifth season we are coming back for a sixth that I think is gonna look a little bit different uh and I'm also branching out into potentially another podcast um oh wow more of a comedy related one uh because you also do comedy which is like it's I do I think I'm terrified of doing but I do yeah I just did a show at the comedy store oh my God it wasn't pure stand up it was me and three other stand-ups show that's amazing wow that's really awesome I'd love to also come see you because sometimes sometimes I leave this room yeah um sometimes I do too but yes no but we're just we're so grateful to have you on and we will um tell everybody many more good things um Jonathan anything else you want to say before we let this lady go I'm just ready to post my Velveteen Rabbit quote on Instagram I have it here yeah will you read it will you read it it's one of my favorites and I'd love for people to listen to it generally by the time you are real most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes dropped out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby but these things don't really matter at all because once you are real you can't be ugly except to people who don't understand The Velveteen Rabbit [Music] so after The Velveteen Rabbit made me cry you're welcome I hugged Jody goodbye and we kind of did that off camera because I wanted some time to kind of unpack with you so really really interesting conversation um that we just had I don't think I've ever really considered the way she kind of presented that that pressure element I'm always so quick to say like don't look at child stars any different than other people because it's true drug addiction alcoholism all those things happen to everybody but the the uniqueness of that kind of pressure it was really interesting to me I don't know if you resonated you know you also come from a family with a lot of pressure and you weren't in the public eye no but we've talked about the industry and how it breeds uh an intensity for not having needs and was covered in The Raven Simone episode and it was talked about a bit in The Wil Wheaton episode in the Jeanette McCurdy episode also um and there's this you know running theme of how that environment is is a mirror to what we all grew up with or many of us grow up with where having no needs is the safest Choice and then what do we give up what parts of ourselves do we start to get disconnected from you know you call me out on this sometimes you know I grew up in the aftermath of my brother's accident and my sister before that was extremely sick and had undiagnosed fibromyalgia and had back surgery when she was 11 and had all these mysterious conditions so as the kid who had you know quote unquote nothing wrong with him you you didn't want to make a fuss but then there was almost a joke in my family that like the kids took turns hurting themselves or being hurt like my brother broke his leg okay so now the family is focused on him and in the absence of being able to have I I don't mean to simplify it like this because it's much more complicated but in the absence of sort of having space for emotions well if you're physically hurt then you're able to get attention or you're able to have a need because then there's something actually wrong with you well not surprisingly we just went from me asking how you felt about the episode and sort of my Reflections on the industry it went straight no no no I but I think it's interesting it when it went it it got even more specific I was hoping that you would kind of pull something general out of it like oh All Families have pressure but I think that's really interesting that you used a very specific example um in your case because I think that's sort of that's what I'm I guess alluding to you know there's all these other elements that we don't realize kind of make us you know who we are and there's also this notion of like is there enough attention to go around and I think when you're working on a set you know that's one example of like well there's clearly there's a lot of attention but not necessarily for the things that I need right so how can I be of service how can I help other people but then also you know for you as a kid when there's all of that attention not going to you of course there's a tendency to not want to like make trouble but there's still a deep need to be seen and you know what you you did a lot of covert operations I think you know you did a lot of things privately you had a lot of sort of um things that you you shoved away you know it's almost like look I hurt too but no one can know does that I mean does that sound kind of right yeah absolutely um that need doesn't go away even if there isn't an outlet that it can be received so then we start to find ways to express it in in other areas and I think the extrapolation is that very few families well maybe that's an over an exaggeration but I don't know that many families that had a rich dialogue where the child's internal World got to get explored and mirrored and seen and held and expressed and you know there was a lot of space for processing and teaching emotional vocabulary and the fact that sometimes your body hurts and that can be stress induced and like that didn't happen where I grew up I mean I'm sure there are places where that did and um I know people who had maybe parents who had done that type of work but our parents you know grew up in a different generation they did the best they could they tried and and provided provided for us and we also as you begin to have a child and begin to parent you learn oh wait a second there are all these things that we either don't know how to do and I say this often is like you learn more about how you were raised by how you react to your child in pain it's true so the choices are how could you do this to me right how could you do this or how can I what's wrong with you be quiet stop what you're doing the level of like internal angst that happens when the child is unconsolable or blaming yourself right like how could I not control this it's so I mean you're so powerless I remember what are other people gonna think depending on where you are like that whole range of thinking shows you so much about what was prioritized in your home when you freaked out what the word blame was until we had children and then all of a sudden it just became a contest of who can blame the other but like I would find ways to be like you're breathing in the living room woke him for the sixth time it's like that's not even true but you find ways like well if you hadn't eaten beans at 4am yesterday he wouldn't have you know pooped now like it was it just becomes this gigantic blame game and it's like that tells if a child hurts themselves or like falls off a jungle gym miles has a scar he literally to this day he's 17. he has a scar across his nose because Mike literally like accidentally scratched it like he was like picking him up and it was just like it was this day that like whatever you know sometimes you forget to trim your nails if you're not a nail biter like he should have been a nail biter like me and then he wouldn't have scratched our child and he literally has a scar to this day it's Mike I have a question for you that's going to circle back to something you said previously you talked about the amount of people watching you on set not just like your performance but like monitoring you and like what are she doing oh you have to go to the bathroom let me take you there let me let me wait outside let me make sure you come back do not ask what I think you're gonna ask do not go there you can ask stop it what do you think I'm gonna ask what do you think I'm gonna ask what do you think stop it you're going to ask if that's what I always want you around watching me do things I was gonna ask no I was gonna ask what do you think it brings up for you in the absence of that do you think it's why I want you around all the time watching me do things that's why you wanted me to watch you type your script even though I wasn't helping anymore and you didn't want me searching the internet because you were like oh if he just like you wanted that Jonathan what's your favorite thing for me to do with you I don't know what go to the supermarket with you that's just a good activity but I I we have the same disease you spot it you got it that's what it's called you spot it you got it all right and no that's not why I wanted you to pay attention when I was writing I wanted you to pay attention because we were in the middle of a writing session and I wanted to have at least a glimmer of hope that we might be able to finish something without you doing seven other things while also making a list of sporting activities you need to purchase supplies for for next summer from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have this has been a lot of fun we'll see you next time for you she's got a neuroscience PhD now she's gonna break down it's a breakdown she's gonna break it down

Channel: Mayim Bialik

Views: 188,522

Keywords: mayim bialik, big bang theory, amy farrah fowler, mayim, celebrity news

Id: Y-IIvlAYQtA

Length: 97min 29sec (5849 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 10 2023