Jodi Arias / Travis Alexander Relationship Analysis | Weaponizing Sex

hello this is dr grande today's question is can i analyze the background of jodi arias and her relationship with travis alexander jodi arias murdered travis alexander in 2008. this is a case i've covered before in this video i will focus on the events prior to the crime looking at what might have contributed to the behavior of jodi arias just a reminder i'm not diagnosing anybody in this video only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this if you enjoy this video please like it subscribe to my channel and consider supporting me on patreon i'll put the link to patreon in the description for this video now starting with the background of jodi arias unfortunately jodi arias herself is the source of much of the background information in this case she is not someone known to tell the truth so that has to be kept in mind when going through this narrative jody arias was born on july 9 1980 in salinas california her father bill owned restaurants and her mother sandra worked as a waitress at those restaurants when jody was five or six she was aggressive toward her younger brother according to a babysitter on one occasion jody struck her brother in the head with a baseball bat and then pretended she didn't know why her brother was crying jody claims that she was subjected to strict discipline when she was young although as with many items here there are disputes about what actually happened her family moved to santa maria california when jody was around 11 years old jody seemed to adjust fairly well her performance in school was adequate she had an interest in art when jody was around 15 her mother discovered that jody was trying to grow marijuana in a piece of tupperware jody's parents called the police on her an unusual parenting strategy under these circumstances the police talked to jody and a conspirator of hers about the consequences of growing marijuana they did not arrest jody or her conspirator worried about a recurrence in criminal behavior her parents would routinely search her room and monitor her behavior jody's curfew was 6 pm her parents were quite restrictive jody grew paranoid and became increasingly distant from her parents around that same time jody was becoming more aware that boys were interested in her when she was in the ninth grade she started seeing a teenager who was three years older than her people started noticing that jody gave up on her interest and focused on the interest of the person she was dating jody's relationship with the young man was erratic characterized by frequent dramatic breakups and reconciliations jody's parents sent her to costa rica in 10th grade as part of a cultural exchange while there she started dating the 16 year old son of the host family claiming that she was not in love with him but had a good feeling about him when she returned to united states the boyfriend from costa rica stayed in touch jody said she would move there to costa rica and they could start a family however the relationship would not work out as the boyfriend became possessive and jody broke up with him jody reunited with her first boyfriend as her grades dropped in school and she became more restless she was eager to get out of school and move out of her parents residence here's where we start to see some fairly unusual behavior unlike what jody had previously manifested jody was raised as a non-denominational christian and didn't seem to be terribly committed to her faith yet she took an interest in the second coming of jesus christ she predicted that it was going to occur in september of 1997 she apparently told many people about this prophecy at the same time she maintained that she was being abused by her parents claiming that she was being knocked unconscious she said she was going to leave home her parents disconnected the battery in her car so she could not leave apparently unaware of the concept of a key ultimately jody waited until one night when the battery was connected and left home with a few of her belongings she never returned for her senior year of high school she moved in with her boyfriend and found work as a waitress the relationship with her boyfriend continued on the same track frequent breakups and reunions at one point she caught him cheating in 1999 that boyfriend moved to medford oregon and jody moved in with a friend the relationship status was a bit murky apparently they were still a couple but they had some distance between them physically jody would stop by her boyfriend's residence in oregon and anonymously leave groceries on his doorstep she eventually moved to medford oregon to be closer to him but then started dating someone else from medford they moved into an apartment together even though she had this new romantic interest she would repeatedly leave items on the doorstep of her old boyfriend as she had done before in 2001 her new relationship would also come to an end jody moved to big sur california and took a job in a resort as a waitress she developed an attraction for her boss they would become a couple in 2002. jody was 22 years old this time her boss was 42. they would buy a 350 000 house together in 2005 in palm desert california they quickly found themselves in financial trouble so jody became involved with a multi-level marketing operation called prepaid legal services she became excited about the company because she believed it would lead to quick cash when jody was attending a convention for this company in las vegas in september of 2006 she met a man named travis alexander he was a top performer with prepaid legal who lived in arizona he was about three years older than jody travis was a member of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints which i will refer to as lds jody and travis liked each other right away travis would tell his friends that jody could be the one he was excited and surprised that somebody as attractive as jody would be interested in him his friends were shocked as well it just didn't make any sense to them jody and travis spent five days together at the convention but because jody already had a boyfriend she told travis that nothing could happen between them right before the convention was over jody gave travis her phone number which sent a bit of a mixed message he would call the next day travis was actively looking for someone to marry in all of his prior romantic relationships he had introduced the idea of marriage and been rejected he seemed as though he was fairly desperate even though jody had a boyfriend he could not help but be hopeful about the potential of a relationship with her travis invited her to spend the weekend with him at a friend's house in california jody accepted the invitation and broke up with her boyfriend of four years so she broke up before she even went to spend the weekend with travis according to jody during that weekend together in california the two had oral sex but really didn't connect well romantically also travis appeared to want jody to develop an interest in the lds church he gave her materials on that church when the weekend was over they went back to their respective residences but maintained a long distance relationship communicating by phone text and email in november of 2006 jody was baptized into lds by travis jody would later claim that just after the ceremony she and travis had anal sex as christmas was approaching jody showed up uninvited at a business event travis was hosting at his house in arizona other people at the event described jody as creepy in february of 2007 jody and travis became a couple so they were officially together romantically even though they lived almost 300 miles apart travis had started to make pretty good money at the multi-level marketing company and he had lost weight he found himself with other romantic options but he could not seem to resist jody the relationship was highly sexually charged their first time engaging in vaginal sex was in may of 2007. so presumably they waited for that type of sex because that was a greater violation of the rules of the lds church so oral and anal sex were frowned upon but maybe not too much but vaginal sex was really something that the lds church didn't want couples doing before marriage i don't really think that's what the lds church says but this is how perhaps jody and travis interpreted their doctrine the doctrine of the church over the next several months travis became more distant as jody started accusing him of being attracted to other women friends of travis would recount how he did like to flirt jody and travis continued to have sex but this was just about all the relationship consisted of in june of 2007 the couple separated but they continued to talk regularly sex was a frequent topic in july of 2007 jody moved to arizona not far from where travis lived travis started dating a 19 year old woman named lisa who was part of lds but after she found out he was still having sex with jody she broke off that relationship travis continued an on off relationship with lisa they would break up for the last time in february of 2008. lisa felt as though travis was too sexually aggressive could not control his drive and was pushing too hard for marriage travis then became interested in a woman named mimi he considered her exceptionally attractive and thought that perhaps she could help him get over jody mimi rejected travis but they remained friends during this time according to jodi arias travis alexander's sexual fantasies became more numerous and unusual also around this time jodi arias had what some people described as a mental breakdown she moved in with her grandparents in california travis had mixed emotions about jody's move he was happy in one sense to create some distance between them but he also wanted sex after jody moved travis earned a trip to cancun mexico through the multi-level marketing company he invited mimi to go with him she agreed but stressed they were just friends travis really wanted to impress mimi in advance of the trip he was hoping that the trip would lead to something more he tried to get on good terms with the lds church to set aside his evil ways he also started working out and trying to lose weight again his endeavor of self-improvement didn't last too long in april 2008 he was once again communicating with jody in a sexually explicit manner jody started recording their verbal communication this communication was definitely not pg rated the couple would get into an argument at the end of may after jody logged into travis's facebook account he ended their relationship on june 4 2008 jodi arias arrived at travis's residence in arizona at 4 30 a.m she had obtained gas cans in order to avoid fueling her vehicle in arizona she was also in possession of a 25 caliber pistol she had stolen from her grandfather jody arius and travis alexander had sex on that day not long after 5 30 pm jody stabbed travis 27 times and shot him in the head he did not survive it's not clear if jody had premeditated this crime perhaps she just took the gun with her in order to give new meaning to the phrase keeping her options open jodi arias would be found guilty of first-degree murder on may 7 2013 after some legal complications involving an appeal jody was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole now moving to my analysis i'll start by looking at the history of jodi arias then move to her relationship with travis alexander jody appeared to have a strict upbringing which may have blocked her from certain experiences perhaps creating a buildup of pressure as she longed to have variety and adventure she desired to have freedom a major part of this was finding a romantic relationship so a major part of what she wanted her style for relating to men seemed to be sexually charged and have a love hate dynamic there was a lot of passion drama and she always seemed to be looking for the next relationship she never really had relationship stability but it appears as though that is what she wanted she believed that every new love interest was going to be the one going to bring her status happiness wealth and a family however her own behavior contributed to destroying the stability that she wanted now moving to the relationship between jodi arias and travis alexander there's a lot of debate about this relationship no doubt some of this debate has occurred because of the homicide it brought a lot of attention to this relationship jody arias painted one picture and the friends and family of travis alexander painted another what is the truth in this whole situation first i'll start with the portrayal that jody has put forward travis alexander was someone who had a lot of difficulty controlling his sexual desires and fantasies he was aggressive single-minded manipulative controlling and a hypocrite for example he said he wanted to follow the rules of the lds church but he repeatedly violated their policies jody made it seem as though she was more or less passive someone who had sex with travis just to satisfy him to get him to stop asking it was consensual and she enjoyed it some of the time but not always sometimes it was really just something she endured jody said that she was worried about the spiritual consequences of their actions she also made it seem as though she was not experienced with the type of sex that travis wanted travis's demands were somewhat new to her he was asking for encounters that were bizarre and extreme those who knew travis painted a different picture he was a victim in this he may have been a little enthusiastic as far as his sex drive but jody was much more experienced and had a stronger sex drive she was the one pushing for more sex he was trying to get away from her and she kept chasing him like moving to arizona and going on frequent trips with him although of course they both agreed to those trips friends and family told stories of travis's tires being slashed jody stalking him following love interests of travis she read his emails and text messages she was always telling travis about how other men were interested in her thereby making him jealous so he was not a completely willing participant she kept manipulating him pulling him into a relationship with her so back to the question considering these two different accounts of what happened what is the truth i suppose it will never be known but here's my opinion jodi arias was looking for something that her very nature made unobtainable she wanted a stable relationship but then introduced chaos into her relationships for whatever reason she was attracted to travis perhaps seeing him as someone who would be a good provider maybe it was the fact that he was unattractive and yet still was looking for someone else like this confidence puzzled jody why was he creating distance with her perhaps that didn't make any sense to her just like it didn't make any sense to travis's friends that she would be interested in him travis was outgoing well liked and somewhat successful financially but his physical appearance immaturity strong sex drive shallowness and awkwardness made him undesirable to women who he was interested in he didn't have trouble making friends but finding romance was a different story he felt a tremendous amount of pressure to get married because his friends had partners or they were married already also when he met jodi arias he was 29 and he really got hung up on how important the age of 30 was in terms of where he was with any type of marriage at the same time as being desperate travis also wanted a perfect partner after meeting jody travis sees that all his fantasies are possible he thinks of her as out of his league but she likes him and she likes sex which is something he likes too he becomes very excited about the prospect of a relationship with her travis is a little torn however because of his own religious beliefs he feels guilty about giving in to his desires and even though he is responsible for his behavior he starts to look at jody as a source of evil she is a temptress who he cannot resist she is a physical embodiment of his own moral failings she reminds him of his hypocrisy his encounters with her are characterized by pleasure but soon after guilt and shame travis has a boost in confidence because jody was attracted to him this helps him become more attractive to others and focus on personal improvement he goes on a mission to find the ideal love someone who is as sexually attractive as jody and as interested in sex as jody but who is more dedicated to morals in his mind someone who is marriage material as all this is going on jody gets in her mind that she must have travis she moved to arizona slashes his tires spies on him and all those other stalking behaviors she's desperate to keep him but the only way they seem to be connecting is through sex she uses that to try to keep the relationship together but at the same time she is angry about the way she's being treated and his hypocrisy so he's saying that he should be treating her in a different way but he's not doing it she records conversations that are embarrassing to travis perhaps in order to get revenge someday to gain leverage over him or both she is angry and she wants him to pay she cannot handle the idea of being rejected travis's upcoming trip to mexico even though unlikely to result in a romantic relationship with mimi who only wants to be friends is still threatening to jody jody drives to his residence and makes one last attempt to use sex to maintain the relationship but her strategy fails unable to cope with losing jody resorts to homicide travis pays the ultimate price and no one else will ever be with him during her trial she uses her time on the stand to obliterate what little was left of travis's reputation even going to the point of suggesting he had a sexual interest in children i think the bottom line in this case is that jody and travis were both troubled individuals i think the irony is that they were both incomplete neither one could see themselves as others could see them potential or actual romantic partners viewed each of them as good in certain ways but very bad in others they were both manipulative they both used people neither one of them seemed to understand how to appropriately express their desires they had strong feelings of love and hate toward each other attracted by one attribute like sexual attractiveness or stability and repulsed by another like neediness or being manipulative they couldn't seem to get away from one another until jody arius finally decided on an extreme way to separate forever those are my thoughts on the relationship between jodi arias and travis alexander please put any opinions and thoughts in the comments section they always generate an interesting dialogue as always i hope you found my analysis of this topic to be interesting thanks for watching

Channel: Dr. Todd Grande

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Id: 2mxSiHaiD0g

Length: 20min 23sec (1223 seconds)

Published: Sat May 22 2021